The Homer File

Version 1.8

Originally by Dave Hall
Contributions from Ben Collins
Maintained by Joel Thomas

       "Ah, sweet pity.  Where would my love life have      
        been without it?"  - Homer in "I Love Lisa" [9F13]                           
Credit is usually given to the first person to point out an observation.

A "*" denotes new additions since last update

CharacteristicsHomer EpisodesHomer Being HomerHomerisms
Family, Friends, & EnemiesWork/Life EventsPast & Future HomerMisc
Characteristics Full Name: Homer Jay Simpson [AABF02] Height: 6 feet [9F14] {gf} Weight: 239 pounds [9F02] {av} 260 pounds [7F18] {av} 263 pounds (Simpsons Comics #1) {sw} 239 pounds starting weight, 315 pounds peak weight [3F05] *240 pounds [9F14] {ct} *254 pounds (Simpsons Comics #18 at end) Age/Birthdate: 36 [9F02] {av} *39 [5F21] {ct} 17-23-56 (sic) (Fall 1991 Simpsons Illustrated) {gsn} 05-12-56 [9F14] {gf} 05-10-55 [7F02] {ct} *Social Security Number: 568-47-0008 [7F02] {iw} *Blood Type: B positive [7F22] {iw} *Earmuff Size: XL [7F22] {iw} Homer Episodes [7G03] Homer's Odyssey [7G10] Homer's Night Out [7F01] Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish [7F02] Simpson and Delilah [7F05] Dancin' Homer [7F11] One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish [7F12] The Way We Was [7F13] Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment [7F16] Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? [7F20] War Of The Simpsons [7F22] Blood Feud [7F23] When Flanders Failed [7F24] Stark Raving Dad [8F04] Homer Defined [8F06] Lisa's Pony [8F08] Flaming Moe's [8F09] Burns Verkauft das Kraftwerk [8F10] I Married Marge [8F12] Lisa the Greek [8F13] Homer at the Bat [8F14] Homer Alone [8F19] Colonel Homer [8F23] Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes? [9F01] Homer the Heretic [9F07] Mr. Plow [9F09] Homer's Triple Bypass [9F12] Brother from the Same Planet [9F14] Duffless [9F15] Last Exit to Springfield [9F17] So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show [9F21] Homer's Barbershop Quartet [1F02] Homer Goes to College [1F07] The Last Temptation of Homer [1F09] Homer the Vigilante [1F10] Homer and Apu [1F13] Deep Space Homer [1F14] Homer Loves Flanders [1F20] Secrets of a Successful Marriage [3F05] King Sized Homer *[3F06] Mother Simpson *[3F10] Team Homer *[3F14] Homer the Smithers *[3F21] Homerpalooza *[4F03] The Homer They Fall *[3F24] El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer *[4F12] The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show *[4F11] Homer's Phobia *[4F15] Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment *[4F19] Homer's Enemy *[4F22] The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson *[5F01] The Cartridge Family *[3G04] Simpson Tide *[5F16] King of the Hill *[5F18] Natural Born Kissers *[5F21] The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace *[5F19] When You Dish Upon A Star *[AABF02] D'oh-in' in the Wind *[AABF05] Mayored to the Mob *[AABF09] Homer to the Max *[AABF13] Maximum Homerdrive *[AABF15] Mom and Pop Art *[AABF23] Beyond Blunderdome *[AABF21] Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? *[BABF02] Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder *[BABF05] Take My Wife, Sleaze *[BABF09] Saddlesore Galactica *[BABF11] Missionary: Impossible *[CABF04] Homer vs. Dignity *[CABF02] The Computer Wore Menace Shoes *[CABF03] The Great Money Caper *[BABF22] HOMR *[CABF09] Hungry Hungry Homer *[CABF16] The Kids Stay in the Picture *[CABF20] Homer the Moe *[CABF21] The Blunder Years *[DABF05] Jaws Wired Shut

Work/Life Events

MilestonesBest Day of His LifeBoyhood/Lifelong DreamAwardsJobs
Burns Forgetting NameSmithers telling Burns Who Homer IsMeltdownsCriminal Record/Perfect Crime
Milestones [7G03] Promoted to Safety Inspector from technical supervisor [7F02] grows hair; promoted to better position at SNPP {But loses both.} [7F12] falls in love with Marge [8F10] marries Marge; Bart is born [8F24] grows two more hair strands {But loses both.} [9F08] brought first home with Abe's money; Lisa is born [9F22] They're now the Thompsons {as} [1F13] shot into space. Best day of his life [9F01] 1. finding a penny {new winner} 2. marrying Marge 3. dancing around an overturned beer truck [9F08] A baby, a free burger and a hour-long episode of 'Mama's Family' Boyhood/Life Long Dream [9F10] Monorail conductor / run out on a baseball field during a game [8F19] manage a beautiful country singer / eat the world's biggest hoagie [1F08] blackjack dealer / appear on "The Gong Show" {ddg} *[3F23] to own the Dallas Cowboys {iw} *[9F05] to live in the woods, keeping a journal of thoughts {iw} *[BABF02] bowls a perfect game {ct} Awards *[8F23] The 1st Annual Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Acheivement In The Field Of Excellence {iw} [9F16] Won (and lost) "Most Weight Gained," "Most Hair Lost," "Most Improved Odor," "Person Who Traveled the Least Distance to Be Here" at high school reunion {av} *[9F16] won Grammy for "outstanding soul, spoken word, or barbershop album of the year" (with the B-Sharps) {iw} [3F05] Medal for "making what could have been a Chernobyl into a Three Mile Island" Jobs/Positions Dial-watcher class 3 (1979), Asst. rod-watcher class 3 (1990), Uranium rod-hander (1991) (Fall 1991 Simpsons Illustrated) {gsn} Burns asking Smithers who Homer is [7F11] "Who the Sam Hill was that?" {kj} [8F01] "Who is that book worm, Smithers?" {jw} [8F10] "Who was that young hellcat, Smithers?" {kj} [1F01] "That man getting all those laughs, Smithers...who is he?" {kj} [3F05] "What's the name of that gastropod?" {kj} [3F06] "Smithers, who was that corpse?" {kj} [3F11] "Who is that lavatory linksman, Smithers?" {kj} [3F05] during the press conference announcing Homer's "remote work terminal" Smithers Telling Burns Who Homer Is {kj} [7G10] "A low-level employee in sector 7G" {kj} [7F11] "One of the schmoes from sector 7G" {kj} [7F13] "One of your drones in sector 7G" {kj} [7F22] "One of your stiffs in sector 7G" {kj} [7F24] "He's one of your boobs from Sector 7G" {kj} [1F01] "One of the carbon blobs from sector 7G" {kj} [3F05] "One of your chair moisteners from Sector 7G" {kj} [3F06] "One of the finest, bravest men ever to grace sector 7G" {kj} [3F11] "One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7G" {kj} [3F14] "One of your organ banks from sector 7G" {kj} Causing Meltdowns/Near Meltdowns [3F05] when the drinking bird falls down while Homer is trying to get into the movies Criminal Record/"The Perfect Crime" [7F20] When he sets his plans to motion to catch General Sherman [8F06] taking a second job to pay for Lisa's pony {rjc} [9F14] he and Barney take the day off to visit the Duff Brewery. {jac} *[BABF03] he and Apu recover Apu's eight children {ct}

Homer Being Homer

Bonehead AnticsMooning His Butt at DeathMissing the PointImmaturityTalking to His BrainHis Imagination
TV IdolizingFood ObsessionSage AdviceSigns of IntelligenceSimian Gags
Bonehead Antics [7G04] Gave Bart $5 to kiss him {sj} [7G06] leaving the keys in the front door. {rjc} [7G09] Shoving a handful of bees and honey into his mouth [8F04] takes Lisa to Moe's' Tavern [8F06] takes a pony home in his car {ddg} [8F07] smoking a cigar while welding next to a leaky can of gasoline [8F09] trying to unjam the toaster with a knife {rjc} [8F12] his near-aneurysm {rjc} [8F13] makes home-made football {sg} [8F13] home-made baseball bat. (Which works! despite the nails.) {rjc} [8F13] sheltering himself with a piece of metal and taking cover under the tallest tree he could find during a thunderstorm {rjc} [9F01] his morning while his family's at Church [9F06] recovering expired medicine from the Winfield's trash. {rjc} [9F07] buys the snow plow by being cajoled into it {jac} [9F10] locking his keys in the Monorail {sj} [9F13] rummages through the Flanders' trash. Finds a toothbrush and actually using it [9F15] trying to remove a Sugar Daddy stuck to the back of his shirt {tf} [9F16] getting a plunger stuck to his head [1F01] gets coat hangers stuck in his shirt and pants {jac} [1F01] paints frowny face on butt, mocks Mr. Burns {jac} [1F02] causes meltdown of nuclear inspectors' test vehicle {jac} [1F02] steals cinderblocks from construction site to build bookshelves, deprives children of a hospital {jac} [1F02] steals Sir Oinksalot, makes him drink malt liquor {jac} [1F03] has both arms stuck in vending machines, only because he won't let go of the soft drink & candy {rd} [1F03] smashes weather station in flashback {jac} [1F03] kisses landfill heap repeatedly {jac} [1F04] sells soul for donut {jac} [1F04] drinks blood just because it's free {jac} [1F04] doesn't believe Lisa when she says Bart's a vampire {jac} [1F06] slips on peanut, loses $20 bill {jac} [1F06] makes fun of Bart's Junior Camper enrolment {jac} [1F06] runs into Bart's pie trap -- twice {jac} [1F06] loses Ned's map {jac} [1F06] takes paddles from Ned et al., makes raft drift out to sea {jac} [1F06] throws Todd's walkman into the water {jac} [1F06] wastes fresh water on dirty socks {jac} [1F06] blows rescue plane away with flare gun {jac} [1F06] slaps Flanders many more times than necessary {jac} [1F06] steals Borgnine's knife, burns hole in raft with it {jac} [1F07] steals pens from work, but they leak on the back seat {jac} [1F08] trying to teach Maggie how to gamble [1F19] wearing glasses with eyeballs painted on them so he can sleep without being noticed {ddg} [1F20] sews tweed patches on leather jacket, wrecks both jackets. {jac} [3F05] trying to get hurt by having things fall on him at a construction site so he can work from home [3F05] uses drinking bird toy to constantly press the "Y" key on his remote work terminal Mooning his butt at Death {el, rd, vj} [7G03] Taking that last dip off a bridge [7G03] falling into the crowd from Burns' balcony {rjc} [7F06] fell down Springfield gorge {9F17 stated he did it twice-dh} [7F11] thought he ate poison blow fish {vj} [8F04] nuclear meltdown {vj} [8F07] smoking a cigar while welding next to a leaky can of gasoline {dh} [8F11] throwing a loaded shotgun to the floor [8F13] holding sheet metal over head in a thunderstorm {vj} [8F13] nearly chokes to death on doughnuts {vj} [9F01] House fire {vj} [9F07] nearly falls off a cliff {vj} [9F09] has heart attack in Burns office [9F10] nearly crashing the Monorail {dh} [9F17] beer can explodes in his face [1F02] starts house fire by burning his GED cert. {st} [1F03] drove over edge of chasm {vj} [1F05] falls off the cliff {vj} [1F06] lost at sea {vj} [1F07] jumps out of an elevator and falls off a cooling tower [1F09] cocks a loaded shotgun before looking down the barrel [1F13] nearly lost in space {vj} [1F15] falls into a tar pit {vj} [2F01] attacked by killer Itchy & Scratchy robots. {ddg} [3F05] trying to have things fall on him while at a construction site so he can go on disability Missing the point [7G02] Not realizing that Skinner expects him to pay for Bart's vandalism. {rjc} [7F05] didn't know what the baseball player meant by sticking the bat where the sun don't shine {sj} [7F07] asks the operator for the number to 911 [9F09] doesn't understand he needs a heart triple Bypass operation [9F22] doesn't understand his new name was Thompson. {rd} [1F13] Touch tone telephone {jac} [5F08] doesn't realize that Chief Wiggum is asking for a bribe {sr} [5F08] thinks a "Detective Like-I-Give-A-Damn" will assist him in getting the Cooders out of his house {sr} Immaturity {rjc} [7G05] "The code of the schoolyard! {rjc} [7G05] "There's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. {rjc} [7G07] [Marge: "Were you planning on sitting in the car until the [football] game is over?"] "Maybe."; {rjc} [7G07] "Being popular is the most important thing in the world!" {rjc} [9F03] pushes kids aside, jumps up & down while shouting "Me first, me first" at an Ice Cream Truck {jw} [3F05] "Bart and Lisa have to go to school while I get to stay home, nyana nyanya nyanya nyanya nyanya nyanya." Talking to his brain [8F07] Homer's brain uses reverse psychology in getting Homer to use reverse psychology on Bart [9F12] the interviewer asks Homer why he wants a littler brother. Brain tells mouth not to say 'revenge', but mouth says it anyway {cs} [9F13] tries to figure out what special day he missed [9F14] loses track of what his brain says and what his mouth says {cs} [9F16] Homer makes a deal with his brain to complete an exam so he can go back to killing it with beer [1F06] Homer tells his brain to shut-up or he'll stab it with a Q-tip [1F06] finds $20 and asks his brain to explain how money can buy lots of peanuts {as} [1F09] brain says: the girl (Lisa) knows too much (about his plans for world domination) {as} [1F20] tells his brain that he would have to think up a way of getting Marge back. {as} His imagination {jac} [7F20] the life of the party {jac} [9F02] imagines himself riding on the Duff blimp {jw} [9F14] imagines himself with big muscles {jac} [9F14] filling himself with gasohol at the gas pump [1F08] his so called photographic memory [1F14] imagines himself in a Marge wig {jac} [1F14] Scores a touchdown in the Super Bowl {ddg} [3F05] the "road to success," complete with talking, edible pig [3F05] pictures himself working from home and dancing with Marge *[AABF02] imagines himself as a hippie {ct} TV idolizing [7G04] "To save this family, we're gonna have to make the SUPREME sacrifice." (Pawning the TV set.) {rjc} [7F12] "Dear God, just give me one channel!" [8F10] "Don't you ever, ever talk that way about television." [8F23] "Why did this have to happen during prime time, when TV brightest stars come out to shine." {sj} [9F03] "But then I won't be watching TV, you can see the bind I'm in." {sj} [9F03] [Bart: "TV sucks!"] "I know you're upset right now, so I'll pretend you didn't say that." {rd} [9F05] "I wish I brought a TV. Oh God, how I miss TV! [9F09] "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day." [9F14] "TV, have you turned on me too?" {jpv} [1F20] "It's those TV networks, Marge. They won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last." {rd} Food Obsession [7F11] Tries everything at the Happy Sumo, including deadly blow fish {tf} [7F22] dreams about strangling Burns -- who turns into a tube of 'squeezy cheese' for his pancakes. Homer wakes up to finding himself eating his pillow {sb} [7F23] eating people's leftovers [8F06] (unknowingly) eats three year old (ornamental) hot dogs {tf} [8F06] drinking straight from the Squishee machine {tf} [8F12] setting down to a little football with treats laid around him {tf} [8F20] stuffing his face from two trays of wiener dogs {sb} [8F21] some of his `best times' in the back-seat of a car -- eating pizza and snacks {sb} [8F21] Otto describes Homer as having a chicken wing stuck to his face for three days {sb} [8F22] drooling over food adverts for the 'good morning burger' and a sweet snack covered in 'four types of sugar' {sb} [8F22] reminisces about eating fries (or some snack) from a bowl on his stomach while floating in a kiddie pool {sb} [9F01] makes patented 'out of this world space age Moon' Waffles [9F02] eating a large container of Petroleum jelly [9F04] eating the witch's body parts (grapes, spaghetti and pork chops) in Halloween game {sb} [9F05] dish soap sample [9F06] eating seafood; eating 10 pound bag of flour when there was nothing else to eat [9F09] eating a smorgasbord in bed [9F09] eats a plate of food regardless of the bug in it {tf} [9F11] his 10 foot (week old) hoagie [9F16] eating fancy soap for the bathroom {tt} [9F21] Brownies at Emmy party {jac} [1F01] eating 64 slices of American cheese {sb} [1F04] eating forbidden donut and later his own head {rd} [1F06] eating the bubble gum off Bart and Milhouse {st2} [1F07] taking a box of donuts into the bathroom; eating a packet of gravy mix found in SNPP parking lot [1F10] eating rancid meat [1F10] eating two buckets of bad prawns {sb} [1F10] (unknowingly) eating dirty hot dog {sb} [1F14] eating a waffle that was stuck to the ceiling {sb} [1F14] the nacho sombrero {tf} [1F16] eating flowers in bathroom. {rd} [1F21] eating the decorative letters on Maggie's birthday cake. {rs} [3F05] taking a bite out of the pig's arm in his imagery of the road to sucess *[BABF19] eats a part of a wall {ct} Sage Advice [7G05] "There's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned." {rjc} [7F11] "The three little sentences that will get you through life: 1. Cover for me. 2. Oh, good idea, Boss! 3. It was like that when I got here." [8F07] "If stuff starts flying, just turn your head!" [8F08] "You know, if you tip the glass, there won't be so much foam on top." [8F19] "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." [8F13] "It's a crock, no matter how good you are there is someone better." [Bart then says "Can't win, don't try"] {sg} [8F21] "If something's hard to do then it's not worth doing." {sg} [9F03] [Getting out of jury duty] "The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races." {jw} [9F05] "If something goes wrong...blame the guy who can't speak English." [1F15] "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose -- it's how drunk you get." [1F16] "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." Signs of Intelligence [8F23] Doesn't want to sign anything [paper] until he either read it, or somebody gives him the gist of it {jw} [9F07] telling the insurance adjuster that Moe's (Tavern) is a pornography shop so he can get his insurance money from wrecking the car [9F10] realizes he could get killed by slipping on a bar of soap. *[BABF22] reads books at a library {ct} Simian gags [7G01] Lady at the Baby-sitting Service called Homer an ape [7G02] Bart referred to him as a balding North American ape [7G09] acting like an ape/Big Foot [7G10] Burns calls Homer an over-sexed orangutan in heat [7F02] old hair tonic in medicine cabinet was 'Gorilla Man' brand {pm} [7F05] Bart is stated to have call him one sad ape-like dude [7F08] jumping up & down, beating his chest and screeching like an ape [7F10] Burns calls him a big ape and wants to buy him off with a banana or two [7F19] Lisa called him a baboon [8F06] `2001: A Space Odyssey' dream sequence [8F18] Marge calls Homer a "big ape" {sg} [9F04] second story ("KING HOMER") [1F13] his skeletal structure as he walks through the X-ray machine. {mk} [1F21] Homer asks Maggie to point to the monkey (on TV) and Maggie points to him. {sg}



"Woo Hoo!"


Lustful "Ohhhhh"





"U.S.A." Chant

D'oh! Count [7G08] when he finds out the extension cord for the christmas lights is tangled up {sv} [7G08] when Bart pulls down his Santa beard {sv} [7G08] when he bangs his head {sv} [7G02] when he is trying to get Bart to open his bedroom door {sv} [7G04] when the kids are misbehaving at the company picnic {sv} [7G04] when a ball hits him on the back of the head {sv} [7G04] upon realizing he has walked all over his own rose bed {sv} [7G04] after Marge suggests that they move to a larger community {sv} [7G05] when Lisa takes back her cupcake {sv} [7G05] when Grandpa hits him with water balloons (x2) {sv} [7G06] When his echo tells him to shut up {sv} [7G06] when he finds out that Bart is alive {sv} [7G06] after eating the honey from the beehive (x2) {sv} [7G07] while watching football {sv} [7G07] when a player fumbles the ball {sv} [7G11] when he finds out that Patty and Selma will be joining them for dinner {sv} [7G10] when he doesn't win the lottery {sv} [7G10] when he sees the picture of him and Princess Kashmir at Moe's {sv} [7G13] when he falls down the stairs {sv} [7G12] when Marge tells him that Patty and Selma are coming over {sv} [7G12] when the video of him diving into the chips display is shown in court {sv} [7F03] when Bart asks to have the TV in his room {sv} [7F02] when he realizes he doesn't have any more tartar sauce {sv} [7F02] after Carl calls him "chrome dome" {sv} [7F02] when Smithers informs him that his speech is in five minutes {sv} [7F01] when Marge tells him her plans for the evening {sv} [7F05] when Marge tells him not to make a spectacle of himself {sv} [7F05] when he falls into the dugout {sv} [7F08] when he runs out of beer {sv} [7F08] when his golf ball bounces out of the park {sv} [7F08] when Bart can't think of a good name for his putter {sv} [7F08] when he realizes that Flanders saw Bart meditating {sv} [7F08] when he is beat by Flanders' "infinity plus one" {sv} [7F08] when Flanders isn't bothered by wearing his wife's best Sunday dress {sv} [7F07] when Patty & Selma are at the door {sv} [7F07] when Patty & Selma remark that even cavemen could start fires {sv} [7F07] when Lisa starts playing her saxaphone loudly {sv} [7F06] after Skinner says that the recital is first in a series {sv} [7F06] when Bart makes a false promise {sv} [7F06] as he is falling down Springfield Gorge (multiple) {sv} [7F09] when Marge tells him that she's too busy to make pork chops {sv} [7F10] when Marge testifies that Dr. Nick is not a real doctor {sv} [7F11] when he is told that his meatloaf will take eight more seconds {sv} [7F11] when the phone rings when he's making his videotape for Maggie {sv} [7F11] when he sees Barney from the jail window {sv} [7F15] when Skinner calls regarding Bart {sv} [7F15] when Homer realizes he introduced Skinner to the wrong sister {sv} [7F16] when he gets pulled over {sv} [7F14] when SLH tears up the newspaper {sv} [7F14] when he realizes that SLH has gotten out of the garden {sv} [7F14] when Bart tells Marge that Homer's new trainers cost $125 {sv} [7F18] when he realizes that the family has gotten seperated {sv} [7F18] when he is hit by several kids coming down on the H2-Whoa! {sv} [7F18] when he sees himself on TV, stuck in the waterslide {sv} [7F18] when his stomach gurgles after having just promised to go on a diet {sv} [7F18] when he sees Marge's nude painting of Mr. Burns {sv} [7F20] when Marge signs up for the marriage retreat {sv} [7F21] when water pours out of his car after a storm {sv} [7F22] when Homer only gets a thank-you card after donating Bart's blood {sv} [7F22] when Bart tells him that he mailed the letter to Mr. Burns {sv} [7F22] when he can't think of a fake name to give Mr. Burns {sv} [7F22] when he receives the giant Olmec Indian head as a present {sv} [7F24] when he has to listen to Lisa's poetry {sv} [7F24] when he is interrupted by a visitor just as he's about to eat his pancakes {sv} [7F23] when the man from the collection agency says he'll be back for Homer {sv} [8F02] after Jimbo & Kearney egg his house, even though they promised not to {sv} [8F02] when Lisa tells him that he confused Monaco with Morocco {sv} [8F02] when Maggie uses one of the family's four wishes on a new pacifier {sv} [8F02] when a baseball hits him in the head {sv} [8F02] when he discovers that a surveillance camera is monitoring him {sv} [8F06] while banging his head on the table (x4) {as} [8F06] because the shop next door was closed early {as} [8F06] when he didn't know whether Lisa's sax is an alto or tenor {as} [8F06] when Lisa won't forgive him {as} [8F06] while trying to keep his Scratch & Win card {as} [8F06] when Marge tells him that horses can live for thirty years {sv} [8F07] realizes Lisa heard him agreeing to doing something with the kids {as} [8F07] when Bart (in Martin's soapbox racer) overtakes him on the road {as} [8F08] when Selma had the last beer {as} [8F08] going to Moe's just after telling Marge he was never going to Moe's again {as} [8F09] the candy machine wouldn't take his screwed-up dollar (x2) {as} [8F09] puts down the Safety Inspector when he realizes that he's the Safety Inspector {as} [8F09] when Lisa tells him Germans were good workers {as} [8F10] when Marge's pregnancy test turns pink {sv} [8F10] when Dr. Hibbert tells Marge that she's pregnant {sv} [8F11] when Bart gives Homer back his present {sv} [8F11] when he finds out that there is no more chocolate ice cream {sv} [8F11] when, on live television, he admits that Bart was an accident {sv} [8F12] when his favorite football team fumbles {sv} [8F14] when he discovers that the woman having the breakdown is Marge {sv} [8F16] when he can't think of anybody who got rich by doing yo-yo tricks {sv} [8F16] [when he realizes that he nailed a piece of the doghouse to himself {sv} [8F15] when he drops his beer can because of his stubby fingers {sv} [8F17] when his numbers don't come up on the lottery (x2) {sv} [8F17] after the building that he put up his "lost dog" posters up on is demolished {sv} [8F19] while trying to get a car space (x2) {as} [8F22] when Bart escapes him Indiana Jones style {sv} [8F23] when he has to report to Mr. Burns' office {sv} [8F24] when his numbers don't come up in the lottery (x4) {sv} [8F24] when he runs over a roller skate with the lawnmower {sv} [8F24] when he finds out that Bart is the ringleader at Kamp Krusty {sv} [8F18] while playing Bowling 2000 (x2) {as} [9F01] when he forgets what to do in a fire {sv} [9F01] when rain puts out the fire on Flanders' roof, but not his own {sv} [9F04] after his toga comes off {sv} [9F04] when he realizes that he forgot to get a birthday present for Bart {sv} [9F04] when he messes up the scary story he was telling {sv} [9F03] when Marge guesses the correct number that Homer is thinking of (37) {sv} [9F03] when he finds out (in the future) that admission to I&S:TM is $650 {sv} [9F05] when he finds out that Surly Joe is the only foundation repair guy in Springfield {sv} [9F07] when his car's steering wheel cushion pops out {sv} [9F07] after realizing that the accident took place in his own driveway {sv} [9F07] after noticing the much more stable bridge several yards away {sv} [9F08] after Maggie steals his cookie {sv} [9F08] when Lisa calls him "Homer" instead of "Daddy" {sv} [9F09] when Mr. Burns cancels the condolence ham {sv} [9F10] when he messes up the Monorail song {sv} [9F10] when the monorail continues after a solar eclipse {sv} [9F11] when he thought aloud, and ended up insulting Patty & Selma {as} [9F13] when he discovers the school pageant wasn't over yet {sv} [9F14] when he is arrested for drinking and driving {sv} [9F15] when Carl tells him that the Union President position is unpaid {sv} [9F15] when he realizes that he has traded his Danish for a doorstop {sv} [9F17] a montage of D'ohs from different episodes (x32) {sv} [9F16] when Principal Dondelinger mistakes him for a vagrant {sv} [9F16] when he discovers the plunger on his head at the 50th reunion {sv} [9F18] after he almost runs over Bart and Marge in the garage (x2) {sv} [9F20] when he answers "Mr. Burns" as his name, to Mr. Burns {sv} [9F21] when he has a blowout after selling his spare {sv} [1F02] after a bee stings him on his butt {sv} [1F02] as he opens his college rejection letters (x4) {sv} [1F02] when Marge guesses that he changed his grade with a computer {sv} [1F01] as he slips on Bart's skateboard and falls down the stairs (x2) {sv} [1F01] when he has to do "much worse" duties after saying that life couldn't get any worse {sv} [1F04] when Mr. Burns returns from the dead to fire him {sv} [1F03] when he learns that a lumberyard burnt down while firemen were rescuing him {sv} [1F05] when he is hit several times on the head by the trampoline {sv} [1F06] when his chair breaks, right after teasing Bart about making crappy furniture {sv} [1F06] when Homer accepts Bart's invitation to go on the river rafting trip (simultaneous with Bart) {sv} [1F06] when he realizes that the current has taken them out to sea rather than back to land {sv} [1F06] when he shoots down the rescue plane with the flare gun {sv} [1F06] when the second plane rescues to pilot of the first plane, but not them {sv} [1F07] when Mindy is eating his favorite kind of donut {sv} [1F07] when he realizes that Mindy has the same idea of Heaven as he does {sv} [1F08] he got a maths rule wrong {as} [1F09] the cat burglar stole the small TV {as} [1F11] when he reads his horoscope {as} [1F11] when he breaks the lamp {as} [1F10] when he cannot think of a rhyme in Apu's song {sv} [1F10] when he realizes that India is over 16,000km away {as} [1F12] realizes Abe's inheritance is for the whole family {as} [1F12] when he pulls the phone down, by tripping over the lead {as} [1F13] when he says that TV respects him, so he turns the TV on, and the man on the TV is laughing at him {as} [1F13] when he is hit on the head by a Fox satellite {sv} [1F14] when he punctures his tires while driving in through the exit to the power plant (x5) {sv} [1F15] when he wonders why nobody else wants to clean the basement ("D'oh??") {ddg} [1F15] when he finds out why nobody else wants to clean the basement ("D'oh!!") {ddg} [1F21] when Maggie points to him as being a monkey {as} [1F21] when Maggie knows what a credenza is {sv} [1F20] when picking up the cards in the poker game (x3) {as} [2F01] when he hits the traffic jam. (simultaneous with rest of the family) {ddg} [2F03] when Homer forgets to lock the door {sv} [2F03] when, the next day, he forgets to lock the back door (x2) {sv} [2F03] introducing himself as Johnny Carson to an empty room {sv} [2F03] introducing himself as David Letterman to an empty room {sv} [2F03] when he learns that Flanders rules the world {sv} [2F03] when he is transported into a different world {sv} [2F06] when he realizes that the protesters are protesting him {sv} [2F08] as Dr. Smith in Marge's dream {sv} [2F09] after realizing that he just admitted to Marge that he is stalking Lenny and Carl {sv} [2F14] when he loses a phone bet to Vegas {sv} [2F14] when he gets a question wrong in his chauffeur's test {sv} [2F31] when he writes "Simpson" instead of "Sherman" (x2) {sv} [2F31] when he is auditioning to play Mr. Burns, he says "Exactly" instead of "Excellent" {sv} [2F31] when he forgets that the can labeled "beer nuts" actually has spring snakes inside {sv} [2F18] as the puppies eat his chips before he does (x8) {sv} [2F18] when the light bulb he is batting hits him in the head and breaks {sv} [2F32] when trying to improvise, he sings the same tune, just replacing the "De's" with "Do's" {sv} [2F21] when he corners himself in the house while dividing it in two {sv} [2F16] when Burns can't remember his name {sv} [2F20] when he is arrested for shooting Mr. Burns {sv} [2F20] when he drops one of his ice cream cones when driving {sv} [2F20] when Mr. Burns still can't remember his name {sv} [3F03] when he invites Ned to his barbecue after he said he wouldn't {sv} [3F04] when he finds out the colossal donut isn't so colossal {sv} [3F05] as a bucket of bolts miss him when he's trying to injure himself [3F05] when Lenny tells him that each push up has an up and a down part [3F05] when he gets into his car and the tires go flat and the suspension breaks because he is so fat [3F08] when he backs over the tire spikes in the parking lot {sv} [3F09] when he says something clever and no one was around to hear it {sv} [3F09] when he discovers that George Bush is ahead of him at the drive-thru {sv} [3F09] when he fails to get the last word in an exchange with George Bush {sv} [3F09] when he trips (simultaneous with Gerald Ford) {sv} [3F10] during the team spirit song (with Otto & Apu) {sv} [3F14] when Burns throws a book at him {sv} [3F14] when Smithers hits him over the head (x4) {sv} [3F17] when he is asked an awkward "Truth" question in "Truth or Dare" {sv} [3F18] when Maggie gets stuck in the newspaper bin {sv} [3F22] when the fuse on his firework burns off {sv} [4F02] when an alien whips him {sv} [4F02] when he accidentally shoots Bill Clinton and Bob Dole into space {sv} [3F23] when Hank Scorpio answers the phone instead of catching Homer as he falls backwards {sv} [4F03] when Marge tells him he must see a doctor...a competant doctor {sv} [4F03] when Drederick Tatum hits him in the head {sv} [4F03] when his head hits a beam right after Moe tells him he's safe {sv} [4F05] when he tries to hide in an abandoned warehouse which is full of activity {sv} [3F24] when he's trying to cool down his mouth by eating ice cream, it melts before reaching his mouth {sv} [3F24] while waiting for a very slow tortoise to write a message {sv} [3F24] when he wakes up in a sand bunker and is hit by a golf ball {sv} [3G01] when he is told that the "Homer is a Dope" T-shirts sold out in twenty minutes {sv} [4F10] when a second avalanche traps him and Mr. Burns just as they escape from the first one {sv} [4F12] after his brain tells him "Now look sad and say 'D'oh'" {sv} [4F22] when he discovers that his car is being ticketed again as he is in the bathroom {sv} [4F22] when he gets a car boot stuck on his foot {sv} [3G02] when Lisa informs him that he was supposed to tell her the story of how she got her saxaphone {sv} [3G02] after dropping the saxaphone on his foot while asking for an inscription {sv} [5F02] when the mutants start to attack him after he was teasing them {sv} [5F01] after realizing that he didn't rob the Kwik-E-Mart {sv} [5F03] when Bart throws something at him {sv} [5F11] upon learning that the name 'Flancrest Enterprises' is already taken {sv} [5F12] when he realizes that he shouldn't have stopped Snake from stealing Moe's car {sv} [5F12] when he misses the opportunity to have the 10:15 train smash into Moe's car {sv} [3G04] when he realizes that he shot the captain out of the torpedo tube {sv} [3G04] after the path of the submarine collides with the compass rose on the map {sv} [5F14] when he realizes that he has to pay taxes every year {sv} [5F09] when he has to take the trash out {sv} [5F09] after Quimby tells him that the garbage men won't work for free {sv} [5F16] when a paperboy hits him in the head with a stack of newspapers (x2) {sv} [5F16] when he hits his head on a rock while sliding down the mountain {sv} [5F16] when he realizes that he still has four vertical miles to go on his mountain climb {sv} [5F16] discovering that he left his wallet on top of the mountain {sv} [5F17] when he hits his head on a traffic light while riding the cherry picker {sv} [5F17] when his head gets caught between the two sides of a draw bridge {sv} [5F18] after a storage compartment opens and hits him on the head {sv} [5F18] when everyone takes pictures of him and Marge naked (after he asked them to sarcastically) {sv} [5F22] as he is repeatedly hit by balls in a batting cage (x4) {sv} [5F22] when he falls down the stairs to the basement becuase there is no light bulb {sv} [AABF02] after Wiggam shoots him, embedding a flower in his forehead {sv} [AABF07] after hearing that more of his secrets will be revealed on the kids' radio program {sv} [AABF07] when it is revealed that he has been practicing medicine without a license {sv} [AABF09] when he walks into a cactus (x2) {sv} [AABF12] when Bart trades his 'Special Saturday' for a dessert {sv} [AABF15] when he throws out his own doormat out of the car {sv} [AABF15] when he is drenched in his dream by the 'dripping clock' painting {sv} [AABF17] when he closely misses out on winning the jackpot at the Vegas Town Casino {sv} [AABF18] when Dr. Steven Hawking hits Homer with a springing boxer's glove {sv} [AABF20] when he drops his watermelon which has changed from its square shape to a normal shaped watermelon {sv} [AABF20] when his family's last million Yen gets blown away (in Japanese) {sv} [AABF20] as his is being beaten with sticks by his blindfolded family {sv} [AABF19] when he picks up gummy bears to plant by accident {sv} [AABF19] upon remembering why the family left town in the first place {sv} [AABF21] when he realizes he has taken his kids to the zoo instead of the Springfield Shopper (echoed) {sv} [BABF01] when he runs out of gas {sv} [BABF01] when the freezer shoots ice cubes at him {sv} [BABF05] upon realizing that the biker gang have taken Marge {sv} [BABF11] when PBS traces his call to pledge $10,000 {sv} [BABF11] when Bart goes outside to play on the swing instead of helping him {sv} [BABF11] when, while playing roulette, the crab (being used as the ball) moves from the number he chose (6) to 31 {sv} [BABF12] when Moe tells him that he was going to sell his bar to Hooters, but changed his mind {sv} [BABF19] after passing a sign that says 'Hollywood - 500 miles' after previously passing one that said 'Hollywood - 90 miles' {sv} [BABF19] when a lobster bites him on the nose, on an episode being shown in the UK {sv} [BABF20] when Bart tells him that the arena that The Who are playing in is in Olde Springfield, not New Springfield {sv} [BABF17] when, looking for a violin, he opens a violin case that has a gun in it {sv} [CABF04] when a cyclist rides over him {sv} [CABF03] when he enters the gift shop addition, after thinking that he left the gift shop {sv} [BABF22] when a rat has quicker reactions than him (x2) {sv} Woo Hoo Count [8F06] Gets the number of the reed off his shoe {as} [8F06] tries to bluff a win on the scratch and win card {as} [8F06] when Apu says that he's hired {as} [8F09] finds out that his shares in the power plant are worth $25; when he gets his job back {as} [8F13] "In your face, Strawberry!" {jac} [8F17] thinks he can still win the lottery {as} [1F01] "Woo hoo, I'm rich! Rich, I tell ya!": bribing CMB for Bobo {jac} [1F02] "Woo hoo! I'm a college man!" {jac} [1F03] "Ballet? Woo hoo!": envisioning bear riding cart {jac} [1F06] after conversation with brain about $20 {jac} [1F06] upon realizing they're doomed: Homer was right, Flanders wrong {jac} [1F08] discovering Kissinger's glasses {jac} [1F08] finds eyeglasses in toilet {as} [1F08] taking the $60 Marge won last night {jac} [1F09] the burglar steals Lisa's sax {as} [1F10] sees ham for 10 cents {as} [1F10] gets 10 pounds of frozen shrimps for free {as} [1F12] hearing Abe's will announcement: "And to my son Homer --" {jac} [1F13] upon winning against Barney for shuttle passenger by default {jac} [1F14] Bart sells him tickets to wig factory {jac} [1F16] twice, when Homer wins the employee raffle {jac} [1F16] upon signing papers to give Burns' fortune to Bart {jac} [1F20] when he tries to bluff in the poker game. {as} [1F21] gets $350 from Bart for the misuse of his credit card. {as} [3F05] when Mr. Burns tells him that he'll pay for Homer's liposuction Mmmmmm Count [7G05] Cupcakes {sbj} [7G12] Chocolate/double chocolate/triple chocolate {jac} [7F04] Marshmallows {jac} [7F14] Macamadamia [sic] nuts (Cookie Collossus store) {jac} [7F20] Horse doovers (at house party) {jac} [7F22] Pancakes (has pancakes for breakfast) {rjc} [7F23] Barbecue (watches the Flanderses' cookout) {rjc} [7F24] Pancakes (has pancakes for breakfast at the asylum) {rjc} [8F01] Money (drools on the money printing press) {rjc} [8F02] Spaghetti (Mr. Burns' head attached) {jac} [8F02] Sprinkles (RoboHomer) {jac} [8F04] Purple (checking out the donut flavours) {jac} [8F06] Beer {as} [8F06] Beer (next to King Toot's music store) {jac} [8F06] Salty (swipes a beef jerky from the Kwik-E-Mart) {rjc} [8F09] The land of chocolate {as} [8F09] Snouts (seeing SLH's food) {jac} [8F11] Chocolate (thrice) (Neapolitan ice cream) {rjc} [8F12]?Crumbled-up cookie things (imagines ice cream){rjc} [8F13]?Crumbled-up cookie things (describing sundae to Lisa) {jac} [8F13] Potato chips (pretending to listen to Mr. Burns) {jac} [8F13] Donuts (sees donuts being delivered) {rjc} [8F13] Potato chips (imagines chowing down on chips) {rjc} [8F14] Strained peas (tasting Maggie's food) {jac} [8F17] Snouts {as} [8F22] Delicious (snarfing jam straight from the jar) {jac} [9F01] Fattening (eating moon waffle[tm]) {jac} [9F03] Burgher (chief justice of the supreme court) {jac} [9F03] Soylent Green {sbj} [9F06] Shrimp {sbj} [9F08] Hog fat (outside rendering plant) {jac} [9F09] Ham (ghostly Homer) {jac} [9F10] Chicken (cut in syndication) {sbj} [9F12] Grapefruit {sbj} [9F14] Gummi Bears (cut in syndication) {sbj} [9F15] Organized Crime {sbj} [9F17] Beer {sbj} [9F17] Chocolate {sbj} [9F18] Beer {sbj} [9F21] Pi (Pie) {sbj} [1F01] Sixty-four slices of American cheese (at kitchen table) {jac} [1F03] Invisible cola (sees vending machine) {jac} [1F03] Candy (sees vending machine) {jac} [1F03] Convenient (imagining vending machines stuck on his arms) {jac} [1F04] Forbidden donut (dreamily, at refrigerator) {jac} [1F04] Business deal (Burns buys blood bank) {jac} [1F06] Free goo (Bart and Milhouse are covered with gum) {jac} [1F06] Apple {sbj} [1F06] Hamburgers {sbj} [1F07] Foot-long chili dog (with Mindy) {jac} [1F07] Marge {sbj} [1F13] Mediciney (drinking water from ball-floating test) {jac} [1F14] Sacrilegious (waffle from roof) {jac} [1F15] Elephant-fresh (bird grooms him) {jac} [1F15] Caramel (Lisa and Bart stuck to him with tar) {jac} [2F33] Chocolate {sbj} [2F33] Forbidden Donut {sbj} [2F33] Invisible Cola {sbj} [2F33] Free Goo ($) {sbj} [2F33] Sacreligious ($) {sbj} [2F33] Snouts ($) {sbj} [2F33] Something ($) {sbj} [2F10] Bowling Fresh {sbj} [2F10] Urinal Fresh {sbj} [2F14] Slanty {sbj} [2F31] Beer Nuts {sbj} [2F21] Incapacitating {sbj} [3F04] Strained Peas {sbj} [3F04] Unprocessed Fish Sticks {sbj} [3F11] Open Faced Club Sandwich {sbj} [3F15] Pointy {sbj} [3G02] Recirculated Air {sbj} [5F24] Free Goo {sbj} [3G04] Donuts {sbj} [5F11] Memo {sbj} [5F12] Me {sbj} [5F22] Loganberry {sbj} [AABF15] Hippo {sbj} [AABF20] Fifty Dollar Pretzel {sbj} [BABF03] Ovulicious {sbj} [BABF08] Danish {sbj} [BABF21] Fish {sbj} [BABF21] Sugar Walls {sbj} [CABF01] Donuts {sbj} [BABF22] Hug {sbj} [CABF13] Turbulent {sbj} [CABF19] Unexplained Bacon {sbj} Lustful 'Ohhhhhhhh's Count [7G01] When Marge comes out in her blue thing with the things {rjc} [7F20] when he looks down Maude's dress {rjc} [8F01] when he thinks he's won $1 million {rjc} [8F11] watching the dancing show {rjc} [9F06] visualizing "makin' bacon on the beach" {ddg} [1F07] when he sees Marge in a red dress. Whining or crying [7G04] Bad-mouthing his family to the man upstairs [7F01] begs Marge to cook supper for Burns [7F07] citing the most pathetic family to the man upstairs [7F14] SLH ate his `Big cookie' [7F14] Lisa's speech about giving up SLH [7F21] Bart sold his Duff beer [8F01] whines when the bank won't cash his "$1,000,000 check" {jw} [8F07] because he's a bad father {dh}; Because he's fat {as} [8F09] his screwed-up dollar won't go in the candy machine {as} [8F14] bowling lane balls [8F17] when Santa's Little Helper goes missing {as} [8F18] can't open pudding without Marge {sg} [8F23] when the couch breaks down [9F02] selling his `Duff Blip' ride ticket [9F02] whines when Ned wins a shoe buffer {jw} [9F11] wanted to go to Duff Gardens {sj} [9F11] when he's really hungry {as} [1F02] Inside nuclear inspectors' testing van {jac} [1F02] "Aw, Marge, we're college guys and we're up to no good!" {jac} [1F06] thinks they are going to die in the ocean {sg} [1F10] when he says to Apu that he was unaware that there was a camera in the hat {as} [1F13] realizes that blew up the planet (Planet of the Apes) {as} [1F20] when saying that TV won't give him half an hour to himself. {as} [3F05] "I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy. "Please, please, please, please" count list {jw} Cursing [8F02] Turkey sandwich [8F15] stubby fingers [8F16] 1. trying to build a doghouse 2. putting $20 in the church collection plate 3. missing the last bowling pin 4. indirectly getting Ned a job in a TV commercial 5. bees land on top of him and sting him all over. {as} [1F04] Homer Simpson {for eating the emergency donut} [1F09] magic beans. Singing/humming [7F06] the 1812 Overture {jac} [7F11] butchering "When the saints go marching in"/"Over there" {jac} [7F12] Steve Miller's "The Joker" {jac} [8F11] butchering "We're gonna take this truckin' convoy..." {jac} [8F14] butchering lullaby/"May your Christmas days be bright" {jac} [8F19] Lurleen's song "No one understands you, but I do" {jac} [8F21] "There was a little Spanish Flea" {jac} [9F02] "Hey there, Blimpy boy......" tune {jw} [9F07] "Mr. Plow" jingle {jac} [9F08] "Girls just wanna have fun" {jac} [9F10] Singing to the tune of the Flintstones "Homer, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree {kj} [9F10] Singing to the tune of "The Twelfth of Never" by Johnny Mathis "I gave my love a chicken, it had no bone" {kj} [9F14] circus music as he flexes his imaginary muscles in the mirror {jac} [9F14] "When I was 17" {jac} [9F14] "Raindrops keep falling on my head" (with Marge) {jac} [9F21] Much of episode (barbershop quartet): {jac} - "Ragtime gal" - "My Coney Island baby" - "There was nothing in Al Capone's vault" - "Baby on Board, something something Burt Ward" - "Baby on board" - "Surgeon general song" [9F22] "Three little maids" from "The Mikado" {jac} [1F07] butchering "Oh Mandy" ("Oh Mindy") {jac} [1F07] "Oh Margie" {jac} [1F10] "The Kwik-E-Mart is real...D'Oh!" {jac} [1F13] "Oh, those Golden Grahams" {jac} [1F14] Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise" {jac} [1F19] Meow mix commercial {jac} [1F21] jazz duet with Abe {jac} [AABF12] hums the tune of "The Odd Couple" when introducing Lisa to Bart's Bedroom {kj} "U.S.A" chant list [9F03] When Marge agrees to let him see Lisa's teacher. {ddg}

Family, Friends, and Enemies

Bonding with...

Forgetting Children

Strangling Bart

Correcting Bart or Lisa


Suggestive Snuggling with Marge

Homer Vs. Flanders

Bonding or Little talks with... [8F07] Bart - building the soapbox racer; when Bart wins the race {as} [8F16] Bart - After Bart congratulates him ending of the love letter. {as} Forgetting Children [8F15] didn't know Bart's birthday Strangling Bart [7F02] after Bart spilt his bottle of Dimoxinil [8F05] when Bart says he won't even use the bathroom after him. [8F06] too busy strangling (young) Bart to notice Lisa saying "dada" {ddg} [8F11] when he realizes Bart fooled him with a fake radio announcement [9F08] strangles baby Bart for calling him "Domer" and for flushing his wallet down the toilet {ddg} [9F17] when Bart admits to shaking up the beer can {jw} [1F20] after Bart says that Homer double-dared him. {as} *[CABF01] while Lisa sees the house with binoculars {ct} Correcting Bart or Lisa {rd} [7G05] "Bart, you're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing." {rjc} [7G11] [Bart: "Dad, you're giving in to mob mentality."] "No I'm not, I'm hopping on the bandwagon!" {rjc} [9F19] "two wrongs make a right, Lisa" {ddg} [1F15] "Lisa, a guy who's got lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low." Kissing [7G02] Bart at the Genius School {sj} [7F11] Moe's bar denizens [8F14] Chief Wiggum [8F23] Herb [1F14] Ned [1F16] Hans Moleman (Raliph Melish) Suggestive snuggling with Marge [7G01] At the very end of the episode {rjc} [8F19] at end, in bed with Marge {jac} [8F22] after he learns some new vocabulary [9F01] while Marge is praying for him. [9F07] Wearing Mr. Plow jacket at end {jac} [9F11] Watching Hercules ("The Cyclops just tore off my clothes!") {jac} [1F07] In hotel {jac} Homer Vs. Flanders *[7G09 "Don't try to keep up with the Flandereses" {ct} [9F22] When Chief Wiggum says once a man is in your house you can do what you want to him, so Homer calls Flanders and gets ready to punch him {as} [1F10] He says, "that life is one defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead" {as} [1F14] plans to hit Ned over the head with a lead pipe and take his football tickets. *[5F16 takes part in the race because Flanders takes part too {ct}

Past & Future Homer


Peek Into the Future

Flashbacks [7F12] Dating Marge [7F16] Abe's wife giving birth to him [7F16] his voice breaks while singing in a choir. {as} [8F06] watching a VCR recording of him ignoring Lisa's first steps and her saying "dada" {ddg} [8F10] marrying Marge; Bart's birth [8F17] Carving the Turkey {as} [9F06] learning the birds and the bees by watching monkeys 'attack' each other. [9F08] first years of married life [9F14] buying beer with a fake ID [9F17] a retrospect of past episodes: - Getting hit in the head by Bart's baseball. (7G11) - getting hit by a baseball. (8F13) - Band-saw hitting his head. (8F06) - Kwik-E-Mart sliding doors hitting his head. (8F06) - getting whacked by Maggie. (7F09) - electric shock theory session. (7G04) - falling down Springfield Gorge. (7F06) - bringing SLH to the Animal Hospital. (8F17) - trying to catch dinner (with Bart). (7G09) - carrying Marge to his car at SNPP. (7G11) - his chocolate fantasy. (8F09) - his dream. (8F06) - begging Burns for money. (8F17) - listening to Lisa play her sax. (7F11) - catching Bart swiping his change jar. (8F22) - watching Bart and his friends fight in the treehouse. (7F21) - showing Bart how to shave. (7F11) [1F18] home movies [1F11] his first job as a one-man-band. {as} A peek into the future [9F03] Seeing I&S:TM with middle-aged Bart [9F16] attending a 50th high school reunion. *[BABF13] Old grandfather Homer {ct}




Beer Quotes


Homer's Bowling Ball

Misc Tidbits

Praying/Invocations {rjc} [MG07] "Good drink, good meat, good God, let's eat!" {rjc} [7G01] "Lord help me, I'm just not that bright." {rjc} [7G04] "Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty... [etc]" {rjc} [7F02] "Dear God, give a bald guy a break" {ddg} [7F07] "And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power...[etc]" {rjc} [7F18] "As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again!" {rjc} [1F22] In the inner tube during the "production number" in the pool {ddg} Seen in underwear *[Simpsons Comics #1] walks around town in his underwear {ct} [7G10] In bathroom, getting ready for work [8F22] when Bart swipes his change jar [8F24] "Marge, am I going crazy, or is my back getting hairier?" {jac} [9F05] when he asks Marge if she seen his lunch box. [9F09] for Dr. Hibbert's stomach fat test: "Nurse, cancel my one o'clock." {jac} [1F07] (doesn't really count) wearing only towel in bathroom {jac} *[5F15] on the floor with his monkey {ct} *[DABF10] in swimsuit at the beach {ct} Beer [7G03] Stole Bart's piggy bank to buy beer [7F05] buys some absurdly low priced tubs of beer at the baseball game {tf} [8F21] drinking years old Billy Beer found in old concert-going jacket {sb} [9F14] hiding beer in the toilet cistern {sb} [9F14] ate the soil under the stadium bleachers *[Simpsons Comics #14] inherits the Duff factory from Samuel T. Duff {ct} *[CABF20 replaces Moe at Moe's {ct} Beer quotes [7G03] "Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. [7F10] Ah, good old trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die." [8F11] "There's only one can of beer left and it's Bart's!" [8F16] "Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge, but you got a butt that won't quit. They got those big chewy pretzels here five dollars?! Get outta here! " [8F16] (after Marge buys him a six-pack of Duff bottles along with SLH's new doghouse) "Beer! How did you know?!" {ddg} [9F06] [Beer] "They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!" [9F14] "I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer." [9F17] "Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if you will." [4F15] "To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." {sr} *[5F23] Marge: "Let's get some beer in you and get you to bed" Homer: "Woohoo! Beerbeerbeer, bedbedbed." {ml} *[5F23] "To think, I turned to a cult for mindless happiness when I had beer all along." (Marge clears her throat) "And you, Marge, the Bringer of Beer" {sr} *[5F23] "Homer no function beer well without" {sr} *[5F23] "I'm glad I'm back. Because the moment that sweet, sweet beer hit my tongue, I was born again!" {sr} Homer's bowling ball [7G01] Bart tries to bash Ms. Botz's head with it [8F14] Homer wants Marge to take it to a shop to get a bottle cap out of one of the holes {ddg} [8F19] Homer bowls 280 by singing to his bowling ball. [BABF02] Homer bowls a perfect game {sr} Misc tidbits [8F01] couldn't touch his own nose [9F09] when he dies, Homer wants to be stuffed and put on the couch as a reminder for Marge about their marital vows [9F09] stated to have visited Hell [misc] often writes fist-like. Suggestions for new sections are welcome!
CONTRIBUTORS as - Andrew Shaw av - Aaron Varhola cs - Colin Smith ct - Charles Tasserit ddg - Don Del Grande el - Ellis Lee gf - Glenfiddich gsn - Gary S. Nabors iw - Ian Wilson jac - James A. Cherry jw - James Watkins kj - Kris Johnson mk - Matt Keary ml - Marc L'Heureux pm - Peter Mitchell rd - Rick Diamant rjc - Raymond Chen rs - Robert Seidel sb - Steve Birrell sbj - Solon Boomer-Jenks' Homer's Mmmm... Lines List sg - Suresh Goel sj - Stuart Jackson sr - Sam Reese st - Scott Tyack st2 - Steve Birrell tf - Ted Frank tt - Tim Tweedale jpv - John Paul Vergara sv - Scott Vivian's The Definitive D'oh List sw - Steve Wells vj - Vaughn Jett

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Last updated on October 15, 2002 by Joel Thomas (