The Homer File
Version 1.8Originally by Dave Hall
Contributions
from Ben Collins
Maintained by Joel Thomas
"Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have
been without it?" - Homer in "I Love Lisa" [9F13]
Credit is usually given to the first person to point out an observation.
A "*" denotes new additions since last update
Characteristics
Full Name: Homer Jay Simpson [AABF02]
Height: 6 feet [9F14] {gf}
Weight: 239 pounds [9F02] {av}
260 pounds [7F18] {av}
263 pounds (Simpsons Comics #1) {sw}
239 pounds starting weight, 315 pounds peak weight [3F05]
*240 pounds [9F14] {ct}
*254 pounds (Simpsons Comics #18 at end)
Age/Birthdate: 36 [9F02] {av}
*39 [5F21] {ct}
17-23-56 (sic) (Fall 1991 Simpsons Illustrated) {gsn}
05-12-56 [9F14] {gf}
05-10-55 [7F02] {ct}
*Social Security Number: 568-47-0008 [7F02] {iw}
*Blood Type: B positive [7F22] {iw}
*Earmuff Size: XL [7F22] {iw}
Homer Episodes
[7G03] Homer's Odyssey
[7G10] Homer's Night Out
[7F01] Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish
[7F02] Simpson and Delilah
[7F05] Dancin' Homer
[7F11] One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish
[7F12] The Way We Was
[7F13] Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment
[7F16] Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
[7F20] War Of The Simpsons
[7F22] Blood Feud
[7F23] When Flanders Failed
[7F24] Stark Raving Dad
[8F04] Homer Defined
[8F06] Lisa's Pony
[8F08] Flaming Moe's
[8F09] Burns Verkauft das Kraftwerk
[8F10] I Married Marge
[8F12] Lisa the Greek
[8F13] Homer at the Bat
[8F14] Homer Alone
[8F19] Colonel Homer
[8F23] Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?
[9F01] Homer the Heretic
[9F07] Mr. Plow
[9F09] Homer's Triple Bypass
[9F12] Brother from the Same Planet
[9F14] Duffless
[9F15] Last Exit to Springfield
[9F17] So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show
[9F21] Homer's Barbershop Quartet
[1F02] Homer Goes to College
[1F07] The Last Temptation of Homer
[1F09] Homer the Vigilante
[1F10] Homer and Apu
[1F13] Deep Space Homer
[1F14] Homer Loves Flanders
[1F20] Secrets of a Successful Marriage
[3F05] King Sized Homer
*[3F06] Mother Simpson
*[3F10] Team Homer
*[3F14] Homer the Smithers
*[3F21] Homerpalooza
*[4F03] The Homer They Fall
*[3F24] El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer
*[4F12] The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show
*[4F11] Homer's Phobia
*[4F15] Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
*[4F19] Homer's Enemy
*[4F22] The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson
*[5F01] The Cartridge Family
*[3G04] Simpson Tide
*[5F16] King of the Hill
*[5F18] Natural Born Kissers
*[5F21] The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace
*[5F19] When You Dish Upon A Star
*[AABF02] D'oh-in' in the Wind
*[AABF05] Mayored to the Mob
*[AABF09] Homer to the Max
*[AABF13] Maximum Homerdrive
*[AABF15] Mom and Pop Art
*[AABF23] Beyond Blunderdome
*[AABF21] Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?
*[BABF02] Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder
*[BABF05] Take My Wife, Sleaze
*[BABF09] Saddlesore Galactica
*[BABF11] Missionary: Impossible
*[CABF04] Homer vs. Dignity
*[CABF02] The Computer Wore Menace Shoes
*[CABF03] The Great Money Caper
*[BABF22] HOMR
*[CABF09] Hungry Hungry Homer
*[CABF16] The Kids Stay in the Picture
*[CABF20] Homer the Moe
*[CABF21] The Blunder Years
*[DABF05] Jaws Wired Shut
Milestones
[7G03] Promoted to Safety Inspector from technical
supervisor
[7F02] grows hair; promoted to better position at SNPP
{But loses both.}
[7F12] falls in love with Marge
[8F10] marries Marge; Bart is born
[8F24] grows two more hair strands {But loses both.}
[9F08] brought first home with Abe's money; Lisa is born
[9F22] They're now the Thompsons {as}
[1F13] shot into space.
Best day of his life
[9F01] 1. finding a penny {new winner}
2. marrying Marge
3. dancing around an overturned beer truck
[9F08] A baby, a free burger and a hour-long episode of
'Mama's Family'
Boyhood/Life Long Dream
[9F10] Monorail conductor / run out on a baseball field
during a game
[8F19] manage a beautiful country singer / eat the world's
biggest hoagie
[1F08] blackjack dealer / appear on "The Gong Show" {ddg}
*[3F23] to own the Dallas Cowboys {iw}
*[9F05] to live in the woods, keeping a journal of thoughts {iw}
*[BABF02] bowls a perfect game {ct}
Awards
*[8F23] The 1st Annual Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Acheivement In
The Field Of Excellence {iw}
[9F16] Won (and lost) "Most Weight Gained," "Most Hair Lost," "Most
Improved Odor," "Person Who Traveled the Least Distance to
Be Here" at high school reunion {av}
*[9F16] won Grammy for "outstanding soul, spoken word, or barbershop
album of the year" (with the B-Sharps) {iw}
[3F05] Medal for "making what could have been a Chernobyl into
a Three Mile Island"
Jobs/Positions
Dial-watcher class 3 (1979), Asst. rod-watcher class 3 (1990),
Uranium rod-hander (1991) (Fall 1991 Simpsons Illustrated) {gsn}
Burns asking Smithers who Homer is
[7F11] "Who the Sam Hill was that?" {kj}
[8F01] "Who is that book worm, Smithers?" {jw}
[8F10] "Who was that young hellcat, Smithers?" {kj}
[1F01] "That man getting all those laughs, Smithers...who is he?"
{kj}
[3F05] "What's the name of that gastropod?" {kj}
[3F06] "Smithers, who was that corpse?" {kj}
[3F11] "Who is that lavatory linksman, Smithers?" {kj}
[3F05] during the press conference announcing Homer's "remote
work terminal"
Smithers Telling Burns Who Homer Is {kj}
[7G10] "A low-level employee in sector 7G" {kj}
[7F11] "One of the schmoes from sector 7G" {kj}
[7F13] "One of your drones in sector 7G" {kj}
[7F22] "One of your stiffs in sector 7G" {kj}
[7F24] "He's one of your boobs from Sector 7G" {kj}
[1F01] "One of the carbon blobs from sector 7G" {kj}
[3F05] "One of your chair moisteners from Sector 7G" {kj}
[3F06] "One of the finest, bravest men ever to grace sector
7G" {kj}
[3F11] "One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7G" {kj}
[3F14] "One of your organ banks from sector 7G" {kj}
Causing Meltdowns/Near Meltdowns
[3F05] when the drinking bird falls down while Homer is trying
to get into the movies
Criminal Record/"The Perfect Crime"
[7F20] When he sets his plans to motion to catch General Sherman
[8F06] taking a second job to pay for Lisa's pony {rjc}
[9F14] he and Barney take the day off to visit the Duff Brewery. {jac}
*[BABF03] he and Apu recover Apu's eight children {ct}
Bonehead Antics
[7G04] Gave Bart $5 to kiss him {sj}
[7G06] leaving the keys in the front door. {rjc}
[7G09] Shoving a handful of bees and honey into his mouth
[8F04] takes Lisa to Moe's' Tavern
[8F06] takes a pony home in his car {ddg}
[8F07] smoking a cigar while welding next to a leaky can
of gasoline
[8F09] trying to unjam the toaster with a knife {rjc}
[8F12] his near-aneurysm {rjc}
[8F13] makes home-made football {sg}
[8F13] home-made baseball bat. (Which works! despite
the nails.) {rjc}
[8F13] sheltering himself with a piece of metal and taking
cover under the tallest tree he could find during a
thunderstorm {rjc}
[9F01] his morning while his family's at Church
[9F06] recovering expired medicine from the Winfield's
trash. {rjc}
[9F07] buys the snow plow by being cajoled into it {jac}
[9F10] locking his keys in the Monorail {sj}
[9F13] rummages through the Flanders' trash. Finds a
toothbrush and actually using it
[9F15] trying to remove a Sugar Daddy stuck to the back of
his shirt {tf}
[9F16] getting a plunger stuck to his head
[1F01] gets coat hangers stuck in his shirt and pants {jac}
[1F01] paints frowny face on butt, mocks Mr. Burns {jac}
[1F02] causes meltdown of nuclear inspectors' test vehicle
{jac}
[1F02] steals cinderblocks from construction site to build
bookshelves, deprives children of a hospital {jac}
[1F02] steals Sir Oinksalot, makes him drink malt liquor
{jac}
[1F03] has both arms stuck in vending machines, only
because he won't let go of the soft drink & candy
{rd}
[1F03] smashes weather station in flashback {jac}
[1F03] kisses landfill heap repeatedly {jac}
[1F04] sells soul for donut {jac}
[1F04] drinks blood just because it's free {jac}
[1F04] doesn't believe Lisa when she says Bart's a vampire
{jac}
[1F06] slips on peanut, loses $20 bill {jac}
[1F06] makes fun of Bart's Junior Camper enrolment {jac}
[1F06] runs into Bart's pie trap -- twice {jac}
[1F06] loses Ned's map {jac}
[1F06] takes paddles from Ned et al., makes raft drift out
to sea {jac}
[1F06] throws Todd's walkman into the water {jac}
[1F06] wastes fresh water on dirty socks {jac}
[1F06] blows rescue plane away with flare gun {jac}
[1F06] slaps Flanders many more times than necessary {jac}
[1F06] steals Borgnine's knife, burns hole in raft with it
{jac}
[1F07] steals pens from work, but they leak on the back
seat {jac}
[1F08] trying to teach Maggie how to gamble
[1F19] wearing glasses with eyeballs painted on them so
he can sleep without being noticed {ddg}
[1F20] sews tweed patches on leather jacket, wrecks both
jackets. {jac}
[3F05] trying to get hurt by having things fall on him at
a construction site so he can work from home
[3F05] uses drinking bird toy to constantly press the "Y"
key on his remote work terminal
Mooning his butt at Death {el, rd, vj}
[7G03] Taking that last dip off a bridge
[7G03] falling into the crowd from Burns' balcony {rjc}
[7F06] fell down Springfield gorge {9F17 stated he did
it twice-dh}
[7F11] thought he ate poison blow fish {vj}
[8F04] nuclear meltdown {vj}
[8F07] smoking a cigar while welding next to a leaky can
of gasoline {dh}
[8F11] throwing a loaded shotgun to the floor
[8F13] holding sheet metal over head in a thunderstorm {vj}
[8F13] nearly chokes to death on doughnuts {vj}
[9F01] House fire {vj}
[9F07] nearly falls off a cliff {vj}
[9F09] has heart attack in Burns office
[9F10] nearly crashing the Monorail {dh}
[9F17] beer can explodes in his face
[1F02] starts house fire by burning his GED cert. {st}
[1F03] drove over edge of chasm {vj}
[1F05] falls off the cliff {vj}
[1F06] lost at sea {vj}
[1F07] jumps out of an elevator and falls off a cooling
tower
[1F09] cocks a loaded shotgun before looking down the
barrel
[1F13] nearly lost in space {vj}
[1F15] falls into a tar pit {vj}
[2F01] attacked by killer Itchy & Scratchy robots. {ddg}
[3F05] trying to have things fall on him while at a
construction site so he can go on disability
Missing the point
[7G02] Not realizing that Skinner expects him to pay for
Bart's vandalism. {rjc}
[7F05] didn't know what the baseball player meant by
sticking the bat where the sun don't shine {sj}
[7F07] asks the operator for the number to 911
[9F09] doesn't understand he needs a heart triple Bypass
operation
[9F22] doesn't understand his new name was Thompson. {rd}
[1F13] Touch tone telephone {jac}
[5F08] doesn't realize that Chief Wiggum is asking for a bribe {sr}
[5F08] thinks a "Detective Like-I-Give-A-Damn" will assist him in
getting the Cooders out of his house {sr}
Immaturity {rjc}
[7G05] "The code of the schoolyard! {rjc}
[7G05] "There's nothing wrong with hitting someone when
his back is turned. {rjc}
[7G07] [Marge: "Were you planning on sitting in the car
until the [football] game is over?"] "Maybe."; {rjc}
[7G07] "Being popular is the most important thing in the
world!" {rjc}
[9F03] pushes kids aside, jumps up & down while shouting
"Me first, me first" at an Ice Cream Truck {jw}
[3F05] "Bart and Lisa have to go to school while I get to
stay home, nyana nyanya nyanya nyanya nyanya nyanya."
Talking to his brain
[8F07] Homer's brain uses reverse psychology in getting
Homer to use reverse psychology on Bart
[9F12] the interviewer asks Homer why he wants a littler
brother. Brain tells mouth not to say 'revenge',
but mouth says it anyway {cs}
[9F13] tries to figure out what special day he missed
[9F14] loses track of what his brain says and what his
mouth says {cs}
[9F16] Homer makes a deal with his brain to complete an
exam so he can go back to killing it with beer
[1F06] Homer tells his brain to shut-up or he'll stab it
with a Q-tip
[1F06] finds $20 and asks his brain to explain how money
can buy lots of peanuts {as}
[1F09] brain says: the girl (Lisa) knows too much (about
his plans for world domination) {as}
[1F20] tells his brain that he would have to think up a
way of getting Marge back. {as}
His imagination {jac}
[7F20] the life of the party {jac}
[9F02] imagines himself riding on the Duff blimp {jw}
[9F14] imagines himself with big muscles {jac}
[9F14] filling himself with gasohol at the gas pump
[1F08] his so called photographic memory
[1F14] imagines himself in a Marge wig {jac}
[1F14] Scores a touchdown in the Super Bowl {ddg}
[3F05] the "road to success," complete with talking,
edible pig
[3F05] pictures himself working from home and dancing
with Marge
*[AABF02] imagines himself as a hippie {ct}
TV idolizing
[7G04] "To save this family, we're gonna have to make the
SUPREME sacrifice." (Pawning the TV set.) {rjc}
[7F12] "Dear God, just give me one channel!"
[8F10] "Don't you ever, ever talk that way about television."
[8F23] "Why did this have to happen during prime time, when
TV brightest stars come out to shine." {sj}
[9F03] "But then I won't be watching TV, you can see the
bind I'm in." {sj}
[9F03] [Bart: "TV sucks!"]
"I know you're upset right now, so I'll pretend you
didn't say that." {rd}
[9F05] "I wish I brought a TV. Oh God, how I miss TV!
[9F09] "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a
troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in
eight hours of TV a day."
[9F14] "TV, have you turned on me too?" {jpv}
[1F20] "It's those TV networks, Marge. They won't let me.
One quality show after another, each one fresher
and more brilliant than the last." {rd}
Food Obsession
[7F11] Tries everything at the Happy Sumo, including
deadly blow fish {tf}
[7F22] dreams about strangling Burns -- who turns into a
tube of 'squeezy cheese' for his pancakes. Homer
wakes up to finding himself eating his pillow {sb}
[7F23] eating people's leftovers
[8F06] (unknowingly) eats three year old (ornamental) hot
dogs {tf}
[8F06] drinking straight from the Squishee machine {tf}
[8F12] setting down to a little football with treats laid
around him {tf}
[8F20] stuffing his face from two trays of wiener dogs {sb}
[8F21] some of his `best times' in the back-seat of a car
-- eating pizza and snacks {sb}
[8F21] Otto describes Homer as having a chicken wing stuck
to his face for three days {sb}
[8F22] drooling over food adverts for the 'good morning
burger' and a sweet snack covered in 'four types
of sugar' {sb}
[8F22] reminisces about eating fries (or some snack) from
a bowl on his stomach while floating in a kiddie
pool {sb}
[9F01] makes patented 'out of this world space age Moon'
Waffles
[9F02] eating a large container of Petroleum jelly
[9F04] eating the witch's body parts (grapes, spaghetti
and pork chops) in Halloween game {sb}
[9F05] dish soap sample
[9F06] eating seafood; eating 10 pound bag of flour when
there was nothing else to eat
[9F09] eating a smorgasbord in bed
[9F09] eats a plate of food regardless of the bug in it
{tf}
[9F11] his 10 foot (week old) hoagie
[9F16] eating fancy soap for the bathroom {tt}
[9F21] Brownies at Emmy party {jac}
[1F01] eating 64 slices of American cheese {sb}
[1F04] eating forbidden donut and later his own head {rd}
[1F06] eating the bubble gum off Bart and Milhouse {st2}
[1F07] taking a box of donuts into the bathroom; eating a
packet of gravy mix found in SNPP parking lot
[1F10] eating rancid meat
[1F10] eating two buckets of bad prawns {sb}
[1F10] (unknowingly) eating dirty hot dog {sb}
[1F14] eating a waffle that was stuck to the ceiling {sb}
[1F14] the nacho sombrero {tf}
[1F16] eating flowers in bathroom. {rd}
[1F21] eating the decorative letters on Maggie's birthday
cake. {rs}
[3F05] taking a bite out of the pig's arm in his imagery
of the road to sucess
*[BABF19] eats a part of a wall {ct}
Sage Advice
[7G05] "There's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his
back is turned." {rjc}
[7F11] "The three little sentences that will get you
through life:
1. Cover for me.
2. Oh, good idea, Boss!
3. It was like that when I got here."
[8F07] "If stuff starts flying, just turn your head!"
[8F08] "You know, if you tip the glass, there won't be so
much foam on top."
[8F19] "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to
listen."
[8F13] "It's a crock, no matter how good you are there is
someone better."
[Bart then says "Can't win, don't try"] {sg}
[8F21] "If something's hard to do then it's not worth
doing." {sg}
[9F03] [Getting out of jury duty] "The trick is to say
you're prejudiced against all races." {jw}
[9F05] "If something goes wrong...blame the guy who can't
speak English."
[1F15] "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's
not whether you win or lose -- it's how drunk you
get."
[1F16] "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably.
The lesson is, never try."
Signs of Intelligence
[8F23] Doesn't want to sign anything [paper] until he
either read it, or somebody gives him the gist
of it {jw}
[9F07] telling the insurance adjuster that Moe's (Tavern)
is a pornography shop so he can get his insurance
money from wrecking the car
[9F10] realizes he could get killed by slipping on a bar
of soap.
*[BABF22] reads books at a library {ct}
Simian gags
[7G01] Lady at the Baby-sitting Service called Homer an ape
[7G02] Bart referred to him as a balding North American ape
[7G09] acting like an ape/Big Foot
[7G10] Burns calls Homer an over-sexed orangutan in heat
[7F02] old hair tonic in medicine cabinet was 'Gorilla Man'
brand {pm}
[7F05] Bart is stated to have call him one sad ape-like
dude
[7F08] jumping up & down, beating his chest and screeching
like an ape
[7F10] Burns calls him a big ape and wants to buy him off
with a banana or two
[7F19] Lisa called him a baboon
[8F06] `2001: A Space Odyssey' dream sequence
[8F18] Marge calls Homer a "big ape" {sg}
[9F04] second story ("KING HOMER")
[1F13] his skeletal structure as he walks through the
X-ray machine. {mk}
[1F21] Homer asks Maggie to point to the monkey (on TV)
and Maggie points to him. {sg}
D'oh! Count
[7G08] when he finds out the extension cord for the
christmas lights is tangled up {sv}
[7G08] when Bart pulls down his Santa beard {sv}
[7G08] when he bangs his head {sv}
[7G02] when he is trying to get Bart to open his bedroom
door {sv}
[7G04] when the kids are misbehaving at the company
picnic {sv}
[7G04] when a ball hits him on the back of the head {sv}
[7G04] upon realizing he has walked all over his own
rose bed {sv}
[7G04] after Marge suggests that they move to a larger
community {sv}
[7G05] when Lisa takes back her cupcake {sv}
[7G05] when Grandpa hits him with water balloons (x2) {sv}
[7G06] When his echo tells him to shut up {sv}
[7G06] when he finds out that Bart is alive {sv}
[7G06] after eating the honey from the beehive (x2) {sv}
[7G07] while watching football {sv}
[7G07] when a player fumbles the ball {sv}
[7G11] when he finds out that Patty and Selma will be
joining them for dinner {sv}
[7G10] when he doesn't win the lottery {sv}
[7G10] when he sees the picture of him and Princess
Kashmir at Moe's {sv}
[7G13] when he falls down the stairs {sv}
[7G12] when Marge tells him that Patty and Selma are
coming over {sv}
[7G12] when the video of him diving into the chips display
is shown in court {sv}
[7F03] when Bart asks to have the TV in his room {sv}
[7F02] when he realizes he doesn't have any more tartar
sauce {sv}
[7F02] after Carl calls him "chrome dome" {sv}
[7F02] when Smithers informs him that his speech is in
five minutes {sv}
[7F01] when Marge tells him her plans for the evening {sv}
[7F05] when Marge tells him not to make a spectacle of
himself {sv}
[7F05] when he falls into the dugout {sv}
[7F08] when he runs out of beer {sv}
[7F08] when his golf ball bounces out of the park {sv}
[7F08] when Bart can't think of a good name for his
putter {sv}
[7F08] when he realizes that Flanders saw Bart
meditating {sv}
[7F08] when he is beat by Flanders' "infinity plus one" {sv}
[7F08] when Flanders isn't bothered by wearing his wife's
best Sunday dress {sv}
[7F07] when Patty & Selma are at the door {sv}
[7F07] when Patty & Selma remark that even cavemen could
start fires {sv}
[7F07] when Lisa starts playing her saxaphone loudly {sv}
[7F06] after Skinner says that the recital is first in a
series {sv}
[7F06] when Bart makes a false promise {sv}
[7F06] as he is falling down Springfield Gorge (multiple)
{sv}
[7F09] when Marge tells him that she's too busy to make
pork chops {sv}
[7F10] when Marge testifies that Dr. Nick is not a real
doctor {sv}
[7F11] when he is told that his meatloaf will take eight
more seconds {sv}
[7F11] when the phone rings when he's making his videotape
for Maggie {sv}
[7F11] when he sees Barney from the jail window {sv}
[7F15] when Skinner calls regarding Bart {sv}
[7F15] when Homer realizes he introduced Skinner to the
wrong sister {sv}
[7F16] when he gets pulled over {sv}
[7F14] when SLH tears up the newspaper {sv}
[7F14] when he realizes that SLH has gotten out of the
garden {sv}
[7F14] when Bart tells Marge that Homer's new trainers
cost $125 {sv}
[7F18] when he realizes that the family has gotten
seperated {sv}
[7F18] when he is hit by several kids coming down on the
H2-Whoa! {sv}
[7F18] when he sees himself on TV, stuck in the waterslide
{sv}
[7F18] when his stomach gurgles after having just promised
to go on a diet {sv}
[7F18] when he sees Marge's nude painting of Mr. Burns {sv}
[7F20] when Marge signs up for the marriage retreat {sv}
[7F21] when water pours out of his car after a storm {sv}
[7F22] when Homer only gets a thank-you card after donating
Bart's blood {sv}
[7F22] when Bart tells him that he mailed the letter to
Mr. Burns {sv}
[7F22] when he can't think of a fake name to give Mr. Burns
{sv}
[7F22] when he receives the giant Olmec Indian head as a
present {sv}
[7F24] when he has to listen to Lisa's poetry {sv}
[7F24] when he is interrupted by a visitor just as he's
about to eat his pancakes {sv}
[7F23] when the man from the collection agency says he'll
be back for Homer {sv}
[8F02] after Jimbo & Kearney egg his house, even though
they promised not to {sv}
[8F02] when Lisa tells him that he confused Monaco with
Morocco {sv}
[8F02] when Maggie uses one of the family's four wishes
on a new pacifier {sv}
[8F02] when a baseball hits him in the head {sv}
[8F02] when he discovers that a surveillance camera is
monitoring him {sv}
[8F06] while banging his head on the table (x4) {as}
[8F06] because the shop next door was closed early {as}
[8F06] when he didn't know whether Lisa's sax is an alto
or tenor {as}
[8F06] when Lisa won't forgive him {as}
[8F06] while trying to keep his Scratch & Win card {as}
[8F06] when Marge tells him that horses can live for thirty
years {sv}
[8F07] realizes Lisa heard him agreeing to doing something
with the kids {as}
[8F07] when Bart (in Martin's soapbox racer) overtakes him
on the road {as}
[8F08] when Selma had the last beer {as}
[8F08] going to Moe's just after telling Marge he was
never going to Moe's again {as}
[8F09] the candy machine wouldn't take his screwed-up
dollar (x2) {as}
[8F09] puts down the Safety Inspector when he realizes
that he's the Safety Inspector {as}
[8F09] when Lisa tells him Germans were good workers {as}
[8F10] when Marge's pregnancy test turns pink {sv}
[8F10] when Dr. Hibbert tells Marge that she's pregnant {sv}
[8F11] when Bart gives Homer back his present {sv}
[8F11] when he finds out that there is no more chocolate
ice cream {sv}
[8F11] when, on live television, he admits that Bart was
an accident {sv}
[8F12] when his favorite football team fumbles {sv}
[8F14] when he discovers that the woman having the
breakdown is Marge {sv}
[8F16] when he can't think of anybody who got rich by doing
yo-yo tricks {sv}
[8F16] [when he realizes that he nailed a piece of the
doghouse to himself {sv}
[8F15] when he drops his beer can because of his stubby
fingers {sv}
[8F17] when his numbers don't come up on the lottery (x2)
{sv}
[8F17] after the building that he put up his "lost dog"
posters up on is demolished {sv}
[8F19] while trying to get a car space (x2) {as}
[8F22] when Bart escapes him Indiana Jones style {sv}
[8F23] when he has to report to Mr. Burns' office {sv}
[8F24] when his numbers don't come up in the
lottery (x4) {sv}
[8F24] when he runs over a roller skate with the lawnmower
{sv}
[8F24] when he finds out that Bart is the ringleader at
Kamp Krusty {sv}
[8F18] while playing Bowling 2000 (x2) {as}
[9F01] when he forgets what to do in a fire {sv}
[9F01] when rain puts out the fire on Flanders' roof, but
not his own {sv}
[9F04] after his toga comes off {sv}
[9F04] when he realizes that he forgot to get a birthday
present for Bart {sv}
[9F04] when he messes up the scary story he was telling
{sv}
[9F03] when Marge guesses the correct number that Homer
is thinking of (37) {sv}
[9F03] when he finds out (in the future) that admission
to I&S:TM is $650 {sv}
[9F05] when he finds out that Surly Joe is the only
foundation repair guy in Springfield {sv}
[9F07] when his car's steering wheel cushion pops out {sv}
[9F07] after realizing that the accident took place in his
own driveway {sv}
[9F07] after noticing the much more stable bridge several
yards away {sv}
[9F08] after Maggie steals his cookie {sv}
[9F08] when Lisa calls him "Homer" instead of "Daddy" {sv}
[9F09] when Mr. Burns cancels the condolence ham {sv}
[9F10] when he messes up the Monorail song {sv}
[9F10] when the monorail continues after a solar eclipse
{sv}
[9F11] when he thought aloud, and ended up insulting
Patty & Selma {as}
[9F13] when he discovers the school pageant wasn't over
yet {sv}
[9F14] when he is arrested for drinking and driving {sv}
[9F15] when Carl tells him that the Union President
position is unpaid {sv}
[9F15] when he realizes that he has traded his Danish for
a doorstop {sv}
[9F17] a montage of D'ohs from different episodes (x32) {sv}
[9F16] when Principal Dondelinger mistakes him for a
vagrant {sv}
[9F16] when he discovers the plunger on his head at the
50th reunion {sv}
[9F18] after he almost runs over Bart and Marge in the
garage (x2) {sv}
[9F20] when he answers "Mr. Burns" as his name, to
Mr. Burns {sv}
[9F21] when he has a blowout after selling his spare {sv}
[1F02] after a bee stings him on his butt {sv}
[1F02] as he opens his college rejection letters (x4) {sv}
[1F02] when Marge guesses that he changed his grade with a
computer {sv}
[1F01] as he slips on Bart's skateboard and falls down the
stairs (x2) {sv}
[1F01] when he has to do "much worse" duties after saying
that life couldn't get any worse {sv}
[1F04] when Mr. Burns returns from the dead to fire him {sv}
[1F03] when he learns that a lumberyard burnt down while
firemen were rescuing him {sv}
[1F05] when he is hit several times on the head by the
trampoline {sv}
[1F06] when his chair breaks, right after teasing Bart
about making crappy furniture {sv}
[1F06] when Homer accepts Bart's invitation to go on the
river rafting trip (simultaneous with Bart) {sv}
[1F06] when he realizes that the current has taken them
out to sea rather than back to land {sv}
[1F06] when he shoots down the rescue plane with the
flare gun {sv}
[1F06] when the second plane rescues to pilot of the first
plane, but not them {sv}
[1F07] when Mindy is eating his favorite kind of donut {sv}
[1F07] when he realizes that Mindy has the same idea of
Heaven as he does {sv}
[1F08] he got a maths rule wrong {as}
[1F09] the cat burglar stole the small TV {as}
[1F11] when he reads his horoscope {as}
[1F11] when he breaks the lamp {as}
[1F10] when he cannot think of a rhyme in Apu's song {sv}
[1F10] when he realizes that India is over 16,000km away {as}
[1F12] realizes Abe's inheritance is for the whole
family {as}
[1F12] when he pulls the phone down, by tripping over the
lead {as}
[1F13] when he says that TV respects him, so he turns the
TV on, and the man on the TV is laughing at him {as}
[1F13] when he is hit on the head by a Fox satellite {sv}
[1F14] when he punctures his tires while driving in through
the exit to the power plant (x5) {sv}
[1F15] when he wonders why nobody else wants to clean the
basement ("D'oh??") {ddg}
[1F15] when he finds out why nobody else wants to clean the
basement ("D'oh!!") {ddg}
[1F21] when Maggie points to him as being a monkey {as}
[1F21] when Maggie knows what a credenza is {sv}
[1F20] when picking up the cards in the poker game (x3) {as}
[2F01] when he hits the traffic jam. (simultaneous with rest
of the family) {ddg}
[2F03] when Homer forgets to lock the door {sv}
[2F03] when, the next day, he forgets to lock the back
door (x2) {sv}
[2F03] introducing himself as Johnny Carson to an empty
room {sv}
[2F03] introducing himself as David Letterman to an empty
room {sv}
[2F03] when he learns that Flanders rules the world {sv}
[2F03] when he is transported into a different world {sv}
[2F06] when he realizes that the protesters are protesting
him {sv}
[2F08] as Dr. Smith in Marge's dream {sv}
[2F09] after realizing that he just admitted to Marge that
he is stalking Lenny and Carl {sv}
[2F14] when he loses a phone bet to Vegas {sv}
[2F14] when he gets a question wrong in his chauffeur's
test {sv}
[2F31] when he writes "Simpson" instead of
"Sherman" (x2) {sv}
[2F31] when he is auditioning to play Mr. Burns, he says
"Exactly" instead of "Excellent" {sv}
[2F31] when he forgets that the can labeled "beer nuts"
actually has spring snakes inside {sv}
[2F18] as the puppies eat his chips before he does (x8) {sv}
[2F18] when the light bulb he is batting hits him in
the head and breaks {sv}
[2F32] when trying to improvise, he sings the same tune,
just replacing the "De's" with "Do's" {sv}
[2F21] when he corners himself in the house while
dividing it in two {sv}
[2F16] when Burns can't remember his name {sv}
[2F20] when he is arrested for shooting Mr. Burns {sv}
[2F20] when he drops one of his ice cream cones when
driving {sv}
[2F20] when Mr. Burns still can't remember his name {sv}
[3F03] when he invites Ned to his barbecue after he said
he wouldn't {sv}
[3F04] when he finds out the colossal donut isn't so
colossal {sv}
[3F05] as a bucket of bolts miss him when he's trying
to injure himself
[3F05] when Lenny tells him that each push up has an up
and a down part
[3F05] when he gets into his car and the tires go flat and
the suspension breaks because he is so fat
[3F08] when he backs over the tire spikes in the parking
lot {sv}
[3F09] when he says something clever and no one was around
to hear it {sv}
[3F09] when he discovers that George Bush is ahead of him
at the drive-thru {sv}
[3F09] when he fails to get the last word in an exchange
with George Bush {sv}
[3F09] when he trips (simultaneous with Gerald Ford) {sv}
[3F10] during the team spirit song (with Otto & Apu) {sv}
[3F14] when Burns throws a book at him {sv}
[3F14] when Smithers hits him over the head (x4) {sv}
[3F17] when he is asked an awkward "Truth" question in
"Truth or Dare" {sv}
[3F18] when Maggie gets stuck in the newspaper bin {sv}
[3F22] when the fuse on his firework burns off {sv}
[4F02] when an alien whips him {sv}
[4F02] when he accidentally shoots Bill Clinton and Bob
Dole into space {sv}
[3F23] when Hank Scorpio answers the phone instead of catching
Homer as he falls backwards {sv}
[4F03] when Marge tells him he must see a doctor...a competant
doctor {sv}
[4F03] when Drederick Tatum hits him in the head {sv}
[4F03] when his head hits a beam right after Moe tells him
he's safe {sv}
[4F05] when he tries to hide in an abandoned warehouse which
is full of activity {sv}
[3F24] when he's trying to cool down his mouth by eating ice
cream, it melts before reaching his mouth {sv}
[3F24] while waiting for a very slow tortoise to write a
message {sv}
[3F24] when he wakes up in a sand bunker and is hit by a golf
ball {sv}
[3G01] when he is told that the "Homer is a Dope" T-shirts sold
out in twenty minutes {sv}
[4F10] when a second avalanche traps him and Mr. Burns just as
they escape from the first one {sv}
[4F12] after his brain tells him "Now look sad and say 'D'oh'" {sv}
[4F22] when he discovers that his car is being ticketed again as
he is in the bathroom {sv}
[4F22] when he gets a car boot stuck on his foot {sv}
[3G02] when Lisa informs him that he was supposed to tell her the
story of how she got her saxaphone {sv}
[3G02] after dropping the saxaphone on his foot while asking for
an inscription {sv}
[5F02] when the mutants start to attack him after he was teasing
them {sv}
[5F01] after realizing that he didn't rob the Kwik-E-Mart {sv}
[5F03] when Bart throws something at him {sv}
[5F11] upon learning that the name 'Flancrest Enterprises' is
already taken {sv}
[5F12] when he realizes that he shouldn't have stopped Snake from
stealing Moe's car {sv}
[5F12] when he misses the opportunity to have the 10:15 train smash
into Moe's car {sv}
[3G04] when he realizes that he shot the captain out of the torpedo
tube {sv}
[3G04] after the path of the submarine collides with the compass rose
on the map {sv}
[5F14] when he realizes that he has to pay taxes every year {sv}
[5F09] when he has to take the trash out {sv}
[5F09] after Quimby tells him that the garbage men won't work for
free {sv}
[5F16] when a paperboy hits him in the head with a stack of
newspapers (x2) {sv}
[5F16] when he hits his head on a rock while sliding down the
mountain {sv}
[5F16] when he realizes that he still has four vertical miles to
go on his mountain climb {sv}
[5F16] discovering that he left his wallet on top of the
mountain {sv}
[5F17] when he hits his head on a traffic light while riding the
cherry picker {sv}
[5F17] when his head gets caught between the two sides of a draw
bridge {sv}
[5F18] after a storage compartment opens and hits him on the head {sv}
[5F18] when everyone takes pictures of him and Marge naked (after
he asked them to sarcastically) {sv}
[5F22] as he is repeatedly hit by balls in a batting cage (x4) {sv}
[5F22] when he falls down the stairs to the basement becuase there
is no light bulb {sv}
[AABF02] after Wiggam shoots him, embedding a flower in his forehead
{sv}
[AABF07] after hearing that more of his secrets will be revealed on
the kids' radio program {sv}
[AABF07] when it is revealed that he has been practicing medicine
without a license {sv}
[AABF09] when he walks into a cactus (x2) {sv}
[AABF12] when Bart trades his 'Special Saturday' for a dessert {sv}
[AABF15] when he throws out his own doormat out of the car {sv}
[AABF15] when he is drenched in his dream by the 'dripping clock'
painting {sv}
[AABF17] when he closely misses out on winning the jackpot at the
Vegas Town Casino {sv}
[AABF18] when Dr. Steven Hawking hits Homer with a springing boxer's
glove {sv}
[AABF20] when he drops his watermelon which has changed from its square
shape to a normal shaped watermelon {sv}
[AABF20] when his family's last million Yen gets blown away (in Japanese)
{sv}
[AABF20] as his is being beaten with sticks by his blindfolded family {sv}
[AABF19] when he picks up gummy bears to plant by accident {sv}
[AABF19] upon remembering why the family left town in the first place {sv}
[AABF21] when he realizes he has taken his kids to the zoo instead of the
Springfield Shopper (echoed) {sv}
[BABF01] when he runs out of gas {sv}
[BABF01] when the freezer shoots ice cubes at him {sv}
[BABF05] upon realizing that the biker gang have taken Marge {sv}
[BABF11] when PBS traces his call to pledge $10,000 {sv}
[BABF11] when Bart goes outside to play on the swing instead of helping
him {sv}
[BABF11] when, while playing roulette, the crab (being used as the ball)
moves from the number he chose (6) to 31 {sv}
[BABF12] when Moe tells him that he was going to sell his bar to Hooters,
but changed his mind {sv}
[BABF19] after passing a sign that says 'Hollywood - 500 miles' after
previously passing one that said 'Hollywood - 90 miles' {sv}
[BABF19] when a lobster bites him on the nose, on an episode being shown
in the UK {sv}
[BABF20] when Bart tells him that the arena that The Who are playing
in is in Olde Springfield, not New Springfield {sv}
[BABF17] when, looking for a violin, he opens a violin case that has a
gun in it {sv}
[CABF04] when a cyclist rides over him {sv}
[CABF03] when he enters the gift shop addition, after thinking that he
left the gift shop {sv}
[BABF22] when a rat has quicker reactions than him (x2) {sv}
Woo Hoo Count
[8F06] Gets the number of the reed off his shoe {as}
[8F06] tries to bluff a win on the scratch and win card
{as}
[8F06] when Apu says that he's hired {as}
[8F09] finds out that his shares in the power plant are
worth $25; when he gets his job back {as}
[8F13] "In your face, Strawberry!" {jac}
[8F17] thinks he can still win the lottery {as}
[1F01] "Woo hoo, I'm rich! Rich, I tell ya!": bribing
CMB for Bobo {jac}
[1F02] "Woo hoo! I'm a college man!" {jac}
[1F03] "Ballet? Woo hoo!": envisioning bear riding cart
{jac}
[1F06] after conversation with brain about $20 {jac}
[1F06] upon realizing they're doomed: Homer was right,
Flanders wrong {jac}
[1F08] discovering Kissinger's glasses {jac}
[1F08] finds eyeglasses in toilet {as}
[1F08] taking the $60 Marge won last night {jac}
[1F09] the burglar steals Lisa's sax {as}
[1F10] sees ham for 10 cents {as}
[1F10] gets 10 pounds of frozen shrimps for free {as}
[1F12] hearing Abe's will announcement: "And to my son
Homer --" {jac}
[1F13] upon winning against Barney for shuttle passenger
by default {jac}
[1F14] Bart sells him tickets to wig factory {jac}
[1F16] twice, when Homer wins the employee raffle {jac}
[1F16] upon signing papers to give Burns' fortune to Bart
{jac}
[1F20] when he tries to bluff in the poker game. {as}
[1F21] gets $350 from Bart for the misuse of his credit
card. {as}
[3F05] when Mr. Burns tells him that he'll pay for Homer's
liposuction
Mmmmmm Count
[7G05] Cupcakes {sbj}
[7G12] Chocolate/double chocolate/triple chocolate {jac}
[7F04] Marshmallows {jac}
[7F14] Macamadamia [sic] nuts (Cookie Collossus store)
{jac}
[7F20] Horse doovers (at house party) {jac}
[7F22] Pancakes (has pancakes for breakfast) {rjc}
[7F23] Barbecue (watches the Flanderses' cookout) {rjc}
[7F24] Pancakes (has pancakes for breakfast at the
asylum) {rjc}
[8F01] Money (drools on the money printing press) {rjc}
[8F02] Spaghetti (Mr. Burns' head attached) {jac}
[8F02] Sprinkles (RoboHomer) {jac}
[8F04] Purple (checking out the donut flavours) {jac}
[8F06] Beer {as}
[8F06] Beer (next to King Toot's music store) {jac}
[8F06] Salty (swipes a beef jerky from the Kwik-E-Mart)
{rjc}
[8F09] The land of chocolate {as}
[8F09] Snouts (seeing SLH's food) {jac}
[8F11] Chocolate (thrice) (Neapolitan ice cream) {rjc}
[8F12]?Crumbled-up cookie things (imagines ice cream){rjc}
[8F13]?Crumbled-up cookie things (describing sundae to
Lisa) {jac}
[8F13] Potato chips (pretending to listen to Mr. Burns)
{jac}
[8F13] Donuts (sees donuts being delivered) {rjc}
[8F13] Potato chips (imagines chowing down on chips) {rjc}
[8F14] Strained peas (tasting Maggie's food) {jac}
[8F17] Snouts {as}
[8F22] Delicious (snarfing jam straight from the jar) {jac}
[9F01] Fattening (eating moon waffle[tm]) {jac}
[9F03] Burgher (chief justice of the supreme court) {jac}
[9F03] Soylent Green {sbj}
[9F06] Shrimp {sbj}
[9F08] Hog fat (outside rendering plant) {jac}
[9F09] Ham (ghostly Homer) {jac}
[9F10] Chicken (cut in syndication) {sbj}
[9F12] Grapefruit {sbj}
[9F14] Gummi Bears (cut in syndication) {sbj}
[9F15] Organized Crime {sbj}
[9F17] Beer {sbj}
[9F17] Chocolate {sbj}
[9F18] Beer {sbj}
[9F21] Pi (Pie) {sbj}
[1F01] Sixty-four slices of American cheese (at kitchen
table) {jac}
[1F03] Invisible cola (sees vending machine) {jac}
[1F03] Candy (sees vending machine) {jac}
[1F03] Convenient (imagining vending machines stuck on
his arms) {jac}
[1F04] Forbidden donut (dreamily, at refrigerator) {jac}
[1F04] Business deal (Burns buys blood bank) {jac}
[1F06] Free goo (Bart and Milhouse are covered with gum)
{jac}
[1F06] Apple {sbj}
[1F06] Hamburgers {sbj}
[1F07] Foot-long chili dog (with Mindy) {jac}
[1F07] Marge {sbj}
[1F13] Mediciney (drinking water from ball-floating test)
{jac}
[1F14] Sacrilegious (waffle from roof) {jac}
[1F15] Elephant-fresh (bird grooms him) {jac}
[1F15] Caramel (Lisa and Bart stuck to him with tar) {jac}
[2F33] Chocolate {sbj}
[2F33] Forbidden Donut {sbj}
[2F33] Invisible Cola {sbj}
[2F33] Free Goo ($) {sbj}
[2F33] Sacreligious ($) {sbj}
[2F33] Snouts ($) {sbj}
[2F33] Something ($) {sbj}
[2F10] Bowling Fresh {sbj}
[2F10] Urinal Fresh {sbj}
[2F14] Slanty {sbj}
[2F31] Beer Nuts {sbj}
[2F21] Incapacitating {sbj}
[3F04] Strained Peas {sbj}
[3F04] Unprocessed Fish Sticks {sbj}
[3F11] Open Faced Club Sandwich {sbj}
[3F15] Pointy {sbj}
[3G02] Recirculated Air {sbj}
[5F24] Free Goo {sbj}
[3G04] Donuts {sbj}
[5F11] Memo {sbj}
[5F12] Me {sbj}
[5F22] Loganberry {sbj}
[AABF15] Hippo {sbj}
[AABF20] Fifty Dollar Pretzel {sbj}
[BABF03] Ovulicious {sbj}
[BABF08] Danish {sbj}
[BABF21] Fish {sbj}
[BABF21] Sugar Walls {sbj}
[CABF01] Donuts {sbj}
[BABF22] Hug {sbj}
[CABF13] Turbulent {sbj}
[CABF19] Unexplained Bacon {sbj}
Lustful 'Ohhhhhhhh's Count
[7G01] When Marge comes out in her blue thing with the
things {rjc}
[7F20] when he looks down Maude's dress {rjc}
[8F01] when he thinks he's won $1 million {rjc}
[8F11] watching the dancing show {rjc}
[9F06] visualizing "makin' bacon on the beach" {ddg}
[1F07] when he sees Marge in a red dress.
Whining or crying
[7G04] Bad-mouthing his family to the man upstairs
[7F01] begs Marge to cook supper for Burns
[7F07] citing the most pathetic family to the man upstairs
[7F14] SLH ate his `Big cookie'
[7F14] Lisa's speech about giving up SLH
[7F21] Bart sold his Duff beer
[8F01] whines when the bank won't cash his "$1,000,000
check" {jw}
[8F07] because he's a bad father {dh}; Because he's fat
{as}
[8F09] his screwed-up dollar won't go in the candy
machine {as}
[8F14] bowling lane balls
[8F17] when Santa's Little Helper goes missing {as}
[8F18] can't open pudding without Marge {sg}
[8F23] when the couch breaks down
[9F02] selling his `Duff Blip' ride ticket
[9F02] whines when Ned wins a shoe buffer {jw}
[9F11] wanted to go to Duff Gardens {sj}
[9F11] when he's really hungry {as}
[1F02] Inside nuclear inspectors' testing van {jac}
[1F02] "Aw, Marge, we're college guys and we're up to no
good!" {jac}
[1F06] thinks they are going to die in the ocean {sg}
[1F10] when he says to Apu that he was unaware that there
was a camera in the hat {as}
[1F13] realizes that blew up the planet (Planet of
the Apes) {as}
[1F20] when saying that TV won't give him half an hour to
himself. {as}
[3F05] "I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being
so healthy.
"Please, please, please, please" count list {jw}
Cursing
[8F02] Turkey sandwich
[8F15] stubby fingers
[8F16] 1. trying to build a doghouse
2. putting $20 in the church collection plate
3. missing the last bowling pin
4. indirectly getting Ned a job in a TV commercial
5. bees land on top of him and sting him all over.
{as}
[1F04] Homer Simpson {for eating the emergency donut}
[1F09] magic beans.
Singing/humming
[7F06] the 1812 Overture {jac}
[7F11] butchering "When the saints go marching in"/"Over
there" {jac}
[7F12] Steve Miller's "The Joker" {jac}
[8F11] butchering "We're gonna take this truckin'
convoy..." {jac}
[8F14] butchering lullaby/"May your Christmas days be
bright" {jac}
[8F19] Lurleen's song "No one understands you, but I do"
{jac}
[8F21] "There was a little Spanish Flea" {jac}
[9F02] "Hey there, Blimpy boy......" tune {jw}
[9F07] "Mr. Plow" jingle {jac}
[9F08] "Girls just wanna have fun" {jac}
[9F10] Singing to the tune of the Flintstones "Homer,
Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's
about to hit a chestnut tree {kj}
[9F10] Singing to the tune of "The Twelfth of Never" by
Johnny Mathis "I gave my love a chicken, it had no bone" {kj}
[9F14] circus music as he flexes his imaginary muscles in
the mirror {jac}
[9F14] "When I was 17" {jac}
[9F14] "Raindrops keep falling on my head" (with Marge)
{jac}
[9F21] Much of episode (barbershop quartet): {jac}
- "Ragtime gal"
- "My Coney Island baby"
- "There was nothing in Al Capone's vault"
- "Baby on Board, something something Burt Ward"
- "Baby on board"
- "Surgeon general song"
[9F22] "Three little maids" from "The Mikado" {jac}
[1F07] butchering "Oh Mandy" ("Oh Mindy") {jac}
[1F07] "Oh Margie" {jac}
[1F10] "The Kwik-E-Mart is real...D'Oh!" {jac}
[1F13] "Oh, those Golden Grahams" {jac}
[1F14] Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise" {jac}
[1F19] Meow mix commercial {jac}
[1F21] jazz duet with Abe {jac}
[AABF12] hums the tune of "The Odd Couple" when
introducing Lisa to Bart's Bedroom {kj}
"U.S.A" chant list
[9F03] When Marge agrees to let him see Lisa's teacher.
{ddg}
Bonding or Little talks with...
[8F07] Bart - building the soapbox racer; when Bart wins the
race {as}
[8F16] Bart - After Bart congratulates him ending of the love
letter. {as}
Forgetting Children
[8F15] didn't know Bart's birthday
Strangling Bart
[7F02] after Bart spilt his bottle of Dimoxinil
[8F05] when Bart says he won't even use the bathroom
after him.
[8F06] too busy strangling (young) Bart to notice Lisa
saying "dada" {ddg}
[8F11] when he realizes Bart fooled him with a fake radio
announcement
[9F08] strangles baby Bart for calling him "Domer" and for
flushing his wallet down the toilet {ddg}
[9F17] when Bart admits to shaking up the beer can {jw}
[1F20] after Bart says that Homer double-dared him. {as}
*[CABF01] while Lisa sees the house with binoculars {ct}
Correcting Bart or Lisa {rd}
[7G05] "Bart, you're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad
thing." {rjc}
[7G11] [Bart: "Dad, you're giving in to mob mentality."]
"No I'm not, I'm hopping on the bandwagon!" {rjc}
[9F19] "two wrongs make a right, Lisa" {ddg}
[1F15] "Lisa, a guy who's got lots of ivory is less likely
to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low."
Kissing
[7G02] Bart at the Genius School {sj}
[7F11] Moe's bar denizens
[8F14] Chief Wiggum
[8F23] Herb
[1F14] Ned
[1F16] Hans Moleman (Raliph Melish)
Suggestive snuggling with Marge
[7G01] At the very end of the episode {rjc}
[8F19] at end, in bed with Marge {jac}
[8F22] after he learns some new vocabulary
[9F01] while Marge is praying for him.
[9F07] Wearing Mr. Plow jacket at end {jac}
[9F11] Watching Hercules ("The Cyclops just tore off my
clothes!") {jac}
[1F07] In hotel {jac}
Homer Vs. Flanders
*[7G09 "Don't try to keep up with the Flandereses" {ct}
[9F22] When Chief Wiggum says once a man is in your house
you can do what you want to him, so Homer calls
Flanders and gets ready to punch him {as}
[1F10] He says, "that life is one defeat after another
until you just wish Flanders was dead" {as}
[1F14] plans to hit Ned over the head with a lead pipe
and take his football tickets.
*[5F16 takes part in the race because Flanders takes part too {ct}
Flashbacks
[7F12] Dating Marge
[7F16] Abe's wife giving birth to him
[7F16] his voice breaks while singing in a choir. {as}
[8F06] watching a VCR recording of him ignoring Lisa's
first steps and her saying "dada" {ddg}
[8F10] marrying Marge; Bart's birth
[8F17] Carving the Turkey {as}
[9F06] learning the birds and the bees by watching
monkeys 'attack' each other.
[9F08] first years of married life
[9F14] buying beer with a fake ID
[9F17] a retrospect of past episodes:
- Getting hit in the head by Bart's baseball.
(7G11)
- getting hit by a baseball. (8F13)
- Band-saw hitting his head. (8F06)
- Kwik-E-Mart sliding doors hitting his head.
(8F06)
- getting whacked by Maggie. (7F09)
- electric shock theory session. (7G04)
- falling down Springfield Gorge. (7F06)
- bringing SLH to the Animal Hospital. (8F17)
- trying to catch dinner (with Bart). (7G09)
- carrying Marge to his car at SNPP. (7G11)
- his chocolate fantasy. (8F09)
- his dream. (8F06)
- begging Burns for money. (8F17)
- listening to Lisa play her sax. (7F11)
- catching Bart swiping his change jar. (8F22)
- watching Bart and his friends fight in the
treehouse. (7F21)
- showing Bart how to shave. (7F11)
[1F18] home movies
[1F11] his first job as a one-man-band. {as}
A peek into the future
[9F03] Seeing I&S:TM with middle-aged Bart
[9F16] attending a 50th high school reunion.
*[BABF13] Old grandfather Homer {ct}
Praying/Invocations {rjc}
[MG07] "Good drink, good meat, good God, let's eat!" {rjc}
[7G01] "Lord help me, I'm just not that bright." {rjc}
[7G04] "Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty...
[etc]" {rjc}
[7F02] "Dear God, give a bald guy a break" {ddg}
[7F07] "And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear
power...[etc]" {rjc}
[7F18] "As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again!"
{rjc}
[1F22] In the inner tube during the "production number" in
the pool {ddg}
Seen in underwear
*[Simpsons Comics #1] walks around town in his underwear {ct}
[7G10] In bathroom, getting ready for work
[8F22] when Bart swipes his change jar
[8F24] "Marge, am I going crazy, or is my back getting
hairier?" {jac}
[9F05] when he asks Marge if she seen his lunch box.
[9F09] for Dr. Hibbert's stomach fat test: "Nurse, cancel
my one o'clock." {jac}
[1F07] (doesn't really count) wearing only towel in
bathroom {jac}
*[5F15] on the floor with his monkey {ct}
*[DABF10] in swimsuit at the beach {ct}
Beer
[7G03] Stole Bart's piggy bank to buy beer
[7F05] buys some absurdly low priced tubs of beer at the
baseball game {tf}
[8F21] drinking years old Billy Beer found in old
concert-going jacket {sb}
[9F14] hiding beer in the toilet cistern {sb}
[9F14] ate the soil under the stadium bleachers
*[Simpsons Comics #14] inherits the Duff factory from Samuel T. Duff {ct}
*[CABF20 replaces Moe at Moe's {ct}
Beer quotes
[7G03] "Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
[7F10] Ah, good old trustworthy beer. My love for you
will never die."
[8F11] "There's only one can of beer left and it's Bart's!"
[8F16] "Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge, but you got a
butt that won't quit. They got those big chewy
pretzels here five dollars?! Get outta
here! "
[8F16] (after Marge buys him a six-pack of Duff bottles
along with SLH's new doghouse) "Beer! How did you
know?!" {ddg}
[9F06] [Beer] "They smell good, they look good, you'd step
over your own mother just to get one!"
[9F14] "I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of
sweet beer."
[9F17] "Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if
you will."
[4F15] "To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of
life's problems." {sr}
*[5F23] Marge: "Let's get some beer in you and get you to bed"
Homer: "Woohoo! Beerbeerbeer, bedbedbed." {ml}
*[5F23] "To think, I turned to a cult for mindless happiness
when I had beer all along." (Marge clears her throat) "And you, Marge, the Bringer of Beer" {sr}
*[5F23] "Homer no function beer well without" {sr}
*[5F23] "I'm glad I'm back. Because the moment that sweet, sweet beer hit my tongue,
I was born again!" {sr}
Homer's bowling ball
[7G01] Bart tries to bash Ms. Botz's head with it
[8F14] Homer wants Marge to take it to a shop to get a
bottle cap out of one of the holes {ddg}
[8F19] Homer bowls 280 by singing to his bowling ball.
[BABF02] Homer bowls a perfect game {sr}
Misc tidbits
[8F01] couldn't touch his own nose
[9F09] when he dies, Homer wants to be stuffed and put on
the couch as a reminder for Marge about their
marital vows
[9F09] stated to have visited Hell
[misc] often writes fist-like.
Suggestions for new sections are welcome!
CONTRIBUTORS
as - Andrew Shaw
av - Aaron Varhola
cs - Colin Smith
ct - Charles Tasserit
ddg - Don Del Grande
el - Ellis Lee
gf - Glenfiddich
gsn - Gary S. Nabors
iw - Ian Wilson
jac - James A. Cherry
jw - James Watkins
kj - Kris Johnson
mk - Matt Keary
ml - Marc L'Heureux
pm - Peter Mitchell
rd - Rick Diamant
rjc - Raymond Chen
rs - Robert Seidel
sb - Steve Birrell
sbj - Solon Boomer-Jenks' Homer's Mmmm... Lines List
sg - Suresh Goel
sj - Stuart Jackson
sr - Sam Reese
st - Scott Tyack
st2 - Steve Birrell
tf - Ted Frank
tt - Tim Tweedale
jpv - John Paul Vergara
sv - Scott Vivian's The Definitive D'oh List
sw - Steve Wells
vj - Vaughn Jett
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