Treehouse of Horror XII Written by (Pt. 1) Joel H. Cohen (Pt. 2) John Frink & Don Payne (Pt. 3) Carolyn Omine Directed by Jim Reardon ============================================================================== Production code: CABF19 Original Airdate on FOX: 6-Nov-2001 Capsule revision B (1-May-2004) ============================================================================== > "TV Guide" Synopsis ============================================================================== [SNPP.com] "Hex and the City" - Following a gypsy's curse, Homer becomes Death incarnate as everyone in his presence either dies or mutates, and he must catch a leprechaun in order to lift the curse. "House of Whacks" - a Hal 9000-style home automation computer takes a fancy to Marge, and unfortunately sees fit to dispose of Homer in the process. Guest stars Pierce Brosnan and Matthew Perry. "Wiz Kids" - the children are tutored in the fine art of transforming frogs into princes at the Springfield Elementary School for Wizards, a la Harry Potter. ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Couch: Special Halloween opening, where the Simpsons get a surprise while trick-or-treating at stately Burns manor. See the "Quote and Scene Summary" section for more details. ============================================================================== > Did You Notice... ============================================================================== ... the robosalesman had Gil's voice and demeanor? [Mr. Gadionton points out one important difference: "The robot actually SOLD something to someone!" -- Ed.] Brian Beck: ... Pentagram on Gypsy's wall is upside down; [it's] usually shown pointing up? [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] Jeff Cross: ... Pierce Brosnan didn't look like himself? [I'm assuming Mr. Cross meant in the credits, not in "The House of Whacks" -- Ed.] Don Del Grande: ... the Fortune Teller sign says "after hours use automated teller"? ... the fortune teller's neon hand sign had four fingers? ... Marge dialed a 7-digit number to call the police, rather than 911 (or 912)? ... Maggie was in her white baggie when Marge tries to get everyone out of the house? ... the "K" in "Wiz Kids" had a Harry Potter-esque lightning bolt? ... "Dennis Miller voice impersonated by Dan Castellaneta", only the third time that somebody was listed with the voice they did (one episode in the third season listed the voices the six stars did, and Jay Mohr as Christopher Walken in BABF17)? Mark J. Finegold: ... in the pre-credits bit, as Smithers is sliding down towards the electrical box, Mr. Burns can be seen checking his watch like he normally does in the opening credits? Alex Foley: ... Barney was not in Moe's? ... the Duff beer commercial on TV when OFF is called for dinner? ... Bart's transformed frog vomits 7 times? Joe Green: ... the "skull and crossbones" symbol with Burns' head on it on the High Voltage sign? ... the cobra in a jar on the fortune teller's shelf? ... the Trix rabbit and a purple, horned dragon on the groom's side at the wedding? ... "House of Whacks" features two characters other than Homer doing the "... eh?" bit? ... the Olmec head is noticeably absent from OFF's basement? Darrel Jones: ... how appropriate it is for Lisa to turn into a centaur, given her love of horses? Joe Klemm: ... Marge's hair is in its regular beehive form when the family sees the dead bodies? ... a "Life in Hell" rabbit [Daniel Dreibelbis says it's Bongo -- Ed.] among the rabbits going into the hole full of Trix? ... Lisa is eating Quaker Oats? ... the Simpsons have dinner between 6:05 and 6:10? ... in the picture of the family on Marge's nightstand, Maggie doesn't have a pacifier in her mouth? ... the Wailing Wall includes faces of various dead characters on the show (Maude Flanders, "Bleeding Gums" Murphy, Snowball)? Chad Lehman: ... in the leprechaun's rant, he calls Homer a "big fatass"? ... the blow-dried shrunken head grunts when the gypsy drops it back on the shelf? ... the family eats breakfast in each of the three segments? Dante Petrick: ... Dolph's hair is not over his eyes? ... the Balloon homer carries into the gypsy office says "Birthday Boy"? ============================================================================== > Voice Credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Man 2, Leprechaun {cl}, Kodos, Yoda, American- voice Ultrahouse, Prince 1, Prince 2 [?]) - Julie Kavner (Marge, Patty, Selma) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Nelson, Harry Potter [?]) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Moe, Carl, Kang, Robot 1) - Harry Shearer (Smithers, Burns, Man 1, Lenny, Hobgoblin, Gilbot, Robot 2 [?], Ultrahouse, Toad-man, Principal Skinner) - Special Guest Voice - Pierce Brosnan (Ultrahouse, Himself) - Matthew Perry (Ultrahouse) - Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel) - Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Milhouse) - Tress MacNeille (Woman, Gypsy) - Karl Wiedergott (Head 2 [?]) ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== + "The Flintstones" (TV series) - Homer and Marge go out in Fred and Wilma costumes + "Sex and the City" (TV series) - title of first story, "Hex in the City," a spoof + "Caps for Sale" (book) {zh} - the caps peddler from the popular children's book is walking around in Ethnic Town - he's wearing the hats in the same color order that he has in the book ~ Pauli effect {jc} - Homer's curse vaguely similar [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] - "Thinner" (book) {ddg} - Gypsy saying, "I curse you" - Clever Hans (performing horse) {bb} - Lisa as horse tapping twice for yes (Clever Hans was a horse that supposedly did math, giving answers by clapping his hoof) - "Sesame Street" (TV show) - Marge resembles the Cookie Monster after hair grows all over her + "Life in Hell" (comic strip) {rd} - Bongo is the last rabbit to jump into Homer's pit trap + "Peter Pan" (book and movie) {jk} - Tinkerbell being the Pixie in the Lucky Charms hole + "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back" {jk} - Yoda as the priest in the gypsy and leprechaun's wedding + "House of Wax" (movie) {jg2} - title of second story a spoof + "2001: A Space Odyssey" (movie) - whole concept of computer going crazy and attempting to kill people {bb} - the Ultrahouse computer "sees" things through red camera lenses placed strategically in the house - the Ultrahouse tries to make Marge take a stress pill {jg2} - sinister computer with friendly voice {am} - Homer disables computer by pulling out its circuit cards, the way HAL9000 was defeated {jc} - the round front pod door to their house [Aaron Hirshberg notes that the doors open differently in the episode -- Ed.] {am} - "The Martian Chronicles" by Ray Bradbury (book) {jc} - a fully-automated house + "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (movie) {jg2} - when Bart says "007!", Marge says "George Lazenby?" [who played Bond in this, and only this, film] + Remington Steele (TV series) {cl} - NBC crime/drama series featuring Pierce Brosnan + "Spaghetti-O's" (brand of canned pasta) {dj} - Lisa's Soyetti-O's + Mickey Mouse (cartoon character) {jg2} - the gloves on the Ultrahouse's mechanical hands resemble his + "Demon Seed" (book and movie) {sh} - explored the idea of an automated (computer controlled) house "falling in love" with its female occupant was explored in the film - ~ Dragon's Lair (video game) {cl} - in one segment of this Laserdisc video game, the floor tiles light up and begin to disappear + Harry Potter (series of books) - plot (kids learning magic) similar {jk} - Springwart's School of Magicry (cf. Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry) {jg2} - Harry himself is in Bart and Lisa's class {jg2} - the S crest on the school robes (possibly a ref to the crests of the four houses of Hogwarts) {jk} - Montemort (cf. Lord Valdemort) {jg2} - Bart entering Montemort's lair via school bathroom (the Chamber of Secrets, a place where a large snakelike creature lives, is accessible via one of the girls' restrooms in Hogwarts) {jk} - Invisibility Cloak {jk} + Mr. T (actor) {cl} - Milhouse's third incarnation makes him look like B.A. Barrackus + periodic table of the elements {ah} - in the third segment, there was a "Magic Elements" chart on the wall in the classroom where the periodic table would usually be + Led Zeppelin (rock band) - one of Lisa's spells is, "Head Zeppelin" + Stevie Nicks (musician) {cl} - Burns likens Lisa to this sometime-member of Fleetwood Mac [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] - Wizard of Oz (movie) {cl} - Burns (cf. Wicked Witch of the West) sees a Lisa (cf. Dorothy) in his large crystal ball (in the present) + the Wailing Wall (religious site) - Krusty cracks a joke likening Montemort's ghost wall with Jerusalem's Wailing Wall [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] ~ Soylent Green (movie) {cl} - "... she made the refreshments from dead people!" + "Mork and Mindy" (TV series) {jk} - Bart saying "Shazbat" ~ "Sleeping Beauty" (movie) {bb} - small prick kills Montemort version of Sleeping Beauty ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - [8F06] School talent show assembly {bb} - [8F06] Skinner responding to Milhouse with "That's terrible, just terrible," (or similar.) {bb} - [8F10] Homer "knocks" up Marge {af} - [8F16] Bart Comments "I can't help but feel partially responsible", and he uses a similar line here {tpl} - [9F04] Lisa is turned into an animal by a supernatural curse {jg2} - [9F17] Homer unwittingly helps an adversary discover his weakness {cl} - [1F19] Someone says "I'm gonna enjoy THIS!" {cl} - [2F03] One segment from a Halloween special is referenced in a later segment {dj} - [2F03] Last Halloween special to use Springfield Cemetery during the opening sequence {dj} - [2F03] Homer wields an axe as a weapon in a Hallowe'en episode {cl} - [2F03] Homer's portable TV {cl} - [2F03] Humans falling into a blender {cl} - [2F15] Tarot cards are seen {jg2} - [2F15] The fortuneteller looks like a warped version of the one from Lisa's Wedding {tpl} - [2F21] Marge is TOO a cop {cl} - [3F04] Somone says "shazbot" {dj} - [3F23] James Bond referenced (James Bundt) {tpl} - [3F23] a fully-automated house {jc} - [3G03] To prove someone a fake, Homer grabs a person's face {cl} - [5F12] Homer attacks a water-related appliance in the basement {cl} - [5F13] In "Hex and the City," the leprechaun Homer catches is similar to the leprechaun that tells Ralph to burn things {rt} - [5F21] the Ultrahouse's hammer tool looks like Homer's auto-hammer invention - [AABF03] the scene where Slithers eats Mr. Burns is almost identical to the scene where Homer eats Pinchy {zh} - [AABF18], [CABF11] Nelson: [to a nerd] "Stop ____ing yourself!" {cl} - [AABF22] (THOH X) Bart dies during a Halloween special {dj} - [BABF01] Bart's body stretches like rubber {jg2} - [BABF20] Homer's internal organs exposed {cl} ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - How the Burns dead relatives are dressed L-R {af} - U.S. Military - Pirate with sword in right eye socket - Cabaret dancer - Knight with rake (?) in face - Sign at FATTY MEATS store {af} SAUSAGE SALAMI SALE! - Fortune teller sign {bjr} FORTUNE [eye] TELLER ---------------- AFTER HOURS USE AUTOMATED TELLER - Homer's Blue Balloon (in red letters) {af} BIRTHDAY BOY - Pamphlet cover the Salesbot gives Marge (In red letters) {af} ULTRAHOUSE 3000 [picture of futuristic house ] You'll Never Do Housework Again! - On the Van {af} ULTRAHOUSE a division of Mega House (in smaller type) - Voice option menu {bjr} VOICE OPTIONS > STANDARD > MATTHEW PERRY > DENNIS MILLER > PIERCE BROSNAN - Springfield School sign {bjr} Springwart's School of Magicry - Classroom posters {bjr} MAGICAL ELEMENTS Magic Fair HALLOWEEN NIGHT - Sign's above the blackboard in Krabappel's class {bjr} ABRACADABRA ALAKAZAM HOCUS POCUS - People in Krabappel's Magic Class {af} (First panning shot) Row 1: Unknown kid, Uter, Janey Row 2: Martin, Lisa, Bart Row 3: Sherri, Terri, Richard Row 4: Milhouse, Nelson (first shot of Mrs. Krabappel) (front to back) Left side: Sherri, Terri, Richard, Unknown kid, Kearney(?) Right side: Blue/Grey haired kid, Lisa, Bart, Ralph Behind Harry Potter: Kearney and Wendell (As Mrs. Krabappel looks at the magic "projects") Background row: Some girl in green beret, Uter, Janey, Allison Taylor, Dolph Foreground row: Milhouse, Lisa, Bart After Millhouse drops his cloak: (Left to right) Front Row: Mrs. Hibbert, Dr. Hibbert, Lenny, Unknown guy 2nd Row: Bald Guy, Rev. Lovejoy, Kirk Van Houten 3rd Row: Otto, Ned Flanders, Apu (Shot after Skinner sprays Amnesia Dust, add..) Front Row: Same as last show 2nd row: Luann Van Houten is sitting next to Otto, Manjula is sitting next to Apu 3rd row: Series of background people 4th row: 2 guys, More, Barney, a guy, white-haired woman As crowd flees (Close up on Marge & Homer) Front: Mrs. Wiggum, Chief Wiggum 2nd row: Frink, Marge w/Maggie, Homer, Luann Van Houten behind them: can see Moe and Barney getting up and leaving - Wailing wall map {bm} 1 2 Fat Tony Scratchy Herman 3 4 Largo 5 Database/Lawyer? Larry Burns 6 7 Don Dimaggio Uter Lunchlady Doris Rod(?) 8 McBain Snake Alison 9 COM 10 CBG Krusty 11 Quimby 12 Maude 1: Possibly Mitch Peterson, the squeaky-voiced teen. His body is seen to some extent, and it looks like he's been turned into a frog. 2: Boy, much of torso comes out of mirror. Possibly Billy from the later Troy McClure infomovies. 3: Sloppily-drawn male, two-dimensional. Appears to have been Gil, originally. 4: Face, doesn't move at all in the shot. Resembles Tommy from Rugrats, but is more likely a corpse face. Has five long, distinct hairs sticking out of the side of its head. 5: Older woman, hair in bun in the back. High cheekbones. 6: CBG, again, less distinct features. 7: Krusty, again, less distinct features, no hair on sides. Animators may have gotten confused as to where the Krusty/CBG exchange would be in the next shot, as this one scrolled up. 8: Appears in earlier frames to be a specific non-character (writer, storyboard artist, etc). Then changes into an unmistakable Frank Grimes. 9: Appears in earlier frames to be Troy McClure, but the face becomes bigger and more exaggerated as the animation goes on, at one point looks like Mel Gibson, then a specific non- character. 10: Corpse: pupil-less eyes intact, fleshless cheeks 11: Man, sunglasses. Possibly Bleeding Gums Murphy, but no beard. Possibly Radioactive Man. 12: Skull, hallowed out eyes Second shot, lower right-hand corner: ? Alison COM Krusty CBG 12 Maude Quimby (recognizable by hair only) Other notes: Everyone seems to be without form, but it seems more thanks to lousy animation than to the curse of the wall. Most of the character names I came up are only having watched each character change over the course of the shot several times. For instance, Alison Taylor is recognizable only by her hairstyle, with the beret across the middle of her head. COM (Crazy Old Man) is only recognizable after seeing his single tooth in the second shot of the wall (he has a full row in the first). Uter's face looks more like Martin's, but his hair is the tiebreaker. Lunchlady Doris looks like Princess Khasmir in several frames. Cases like the Database/Lawyer scenario have me guessing. Herman only looks like Herman for one frame ( I originally had him down as a non- Simpsons character). - Banner for School Recital {af} SPELLZAPOPPIN' MAGIC RECITAL - Door on Trailer {af} SIMPSONS GUEST STARS ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity, and other goofs ============================================================================== = When Lisa suggests the Pierce Brosnan voice, the animation appears two- dimensional and cheap? {cl} * Why didn't the computer just open its front panel up and remove its circuits, the way Homer "killed" it? [Kelly Stewart answers, " The computer's front panel was duct-taped shut presumably by P&S to keep Pierce from killing him/itself."] {ddg} = The dragon cage initially has four bars on the front, but has six when it's being raised. {ah2} = Also, the Monty-dragon shouldn't have been able to pull its head back through the bars. {ah2} = Montemort's shin isn't bleeding when he falls. (Or did a wizard do it?) {bb} ============================================================================== > Reviews ============================================================================== Don Del Grande: Not quite as good as some of the others, and it was pretty much "going through the Halloween motions" until the surprise ending ... and the ending after the surprise ending. The trouble is, with two segments based on two well-known stories (2001: A Space Odyssey; the Harry Potter series), there isn't much that hasn't already been referenced to death elsewhere already. (A-) Alex Foley: Hex on the City: Blah segment, will a few mild chuckles, and nothing more (D). House of Whacks: Huge improvement over "Hex". Pierce Brosnan is good as the house, and the ending was great. (A) Wiz Kids: It was a pretty-good segment, however this seemed less like a parody of Harry Potter then a rip-off at times, which hurt the segment. I found the name "Slithers" Hilarious though. (B) Over-all Grade: Best THOH since VIII. I do wonder how much longer they can keep going with the THOH (probably until the show goes off the air). (B) Joe Green: A bit of an improvement of over last year's THOH, and possibly a sign of good things to come for Season 13. I didn't appreciate that, for some reason, they didn't give the cast and crew different names this year ... but then again, there was also the first credits-sequence comedy bit in quite some time as well as the latest Funny-As-All-Hell Ralph Wiggum Quote (TM): "Dying tickles!" (B+) Darrel Jones: No matter what the rest of the season is like, OFF's annual Halloween specials never disappoint, and the twelfth installment is no exception. Though I thought "Hex and the City" petered out, little else stank. Especially loved the opening bit and the part with the "guest stars". 8/10 (B+) Chad Lehman: Not a bad effort; but, with a litany of great THOHs to look back on, this episode seems like it was going through the motions. The plots were quick, and only the middle segment provided good conflict. (C+) Yours Truly: Meh. Scary movies may be enjoying a resurgence, but that hasn't perked up the "Treehouse of Horror" franchise. The humor in the first and third segments wasn't all that gratifying, so all we were left with was weird family mutations, and a vomiting frog-man hybrid. "House of Whacks" was a decent segment, though, I liked the parody of 2001 and those Warner Brothers cartoons about super-automated houses. The "bonus" closing segment wasn't bad either, but given the trends in the last few TOH's, I wonder if the concept could use some new blood. (C) AVERAGE GRADE: B (3.07) Std Dev.: 0.5888 (9 reviews computed) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> Musical References Joe Green: "Bailamos" by Enrique Iglesias played when the Ultrahouse CPU is with Patty and Selma. >> Meta-reference corner Chad Lehman: CBG says he's "so sick of that joke!" Sounds like an ATS reference, no? Maybe a subtle reference at the complaints about recycled gags in Simpsons episodes ... discuss? >> Could it be ... Satan? R. H. Menzel notes: Pentacles or pentagrams pointing down are associated with Satan. One reason: It refers to a horned demon. Another reason: any spiritual or religious symbol turned upside-down represents evil. Opposites work too. ("Ram of God" vs. "Lamb of God") I can't remember to buy milk on the way home, but I can remember all sorts of arcane and useless bullshit. Curse my brain! >> Disaster Magnet Jeff Cross: Homer's curse had a definite ring with a scientific pseudo- principle called the Pauli effect: expensive lab equipment would inexplicably break when scientist Wolfgang Pauli would come near it. There was supposedly a point where it was nearly disproved because Pauli wasn't in the lab one day when something broke, but it turned out that he'd been riding on a train that passed the lab at the time. The BABYLON 5 TV movie THE RIVER OF SOULS explains it a little better. >> "Isn't that the voice that caused all those suicides?" Matt Garvey wonders: Why did they specifically say that Dan Castellaneta did the Dennis Miller voice? That sure was silly. Bill McNeal ventures to guess: Maybe after all the guest stars they've had over the years, viewers are too accustomed to actually having the person on rather than an impersonation. I know that if Maurice LaMarche had been credited like that for William Shatner and George C. Scott in "A Star Is Burns," I wouldn't have spent so many viewings trying to figure out just who the hell he played. >> No, you must be thinking of some other Pierce Brosnan Don Del Grande: You would think Pierce Brosnan would all but deny he was ever Remington Steele, as it almost cost him the chance to be James Bond. He was supposed to replace Roger Moore, but when NBC heard this, it decided to renew "Remington Steele" (which they had announced as being cancelled) for one more year, after which the James Bond producers decided Brosnan couldn't be both, and as the "Remington Steele" producers wouldn't let him out of his contract, Timothy Dalton (remember him?) was chosen as the next Bond instead. >> Harry who? Joe Klemm: Unless you've been living in a cave the last few years, you'd probably heard of the name Harry Potter. Created by J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter is a British boy who, on his eleventh birthday, discovers that his parents were wizards and that he is already famous for being the only person to survive an attack by Lord Voldemont, an evil wizard that killed his parents. The book series (which plans to be seven books long) centers around Harry and his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, as they attend Hogwarts school to become wizards while investigating the various mysteries of the school, most of them involving Lord Voldemont some way or another. The first book in the series, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," ("Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" in the UK), is already made into a film that will be released next week [in November 2001], with film production of the second book, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," starting soon. >> Stevie Nicks' wicked witch-ery Chad Lehman: Anyone want to discuss this? In a VH1 Special, Grace Slick from Jefferson Airplane/Starship calls Stevie Nicks the "magic witch" ... Nicks' recent music is steeped in mysticism, and in many of her shows, she dresses the part of the magic witch. >> "I am *so* sick of that joke!" ... but Joe Green will explain it anyway: The "Wailing Wall" Krusty refers to is an ancient wall in Jerusalem that is believed to have been part of King Solomon's temple. Many devout Jews from throughout the world make pilgrimages there to pray. >> Car Watch XII Joe Green observes: The car Pierce Brosnan drives at the end is a Porsche 911 Cabriolet. ============================================================================== > Quotes and Scene Summary {jp} ============================================================================== % Thunder crashes at Mr. Burns' manor. Mr. Burns calls out a window. Hurry, Smithers! Halloween is upon us! Put up the decoration. [chuckles mischievously] --Mr. Burns, Treehouse of Horror XII % On the ledge outside the window, a ladder is propped up on a nearby tower. % At the top is Smithers, hanging a small orange plastic bat on the side of a % weather vane. No, no! That won't scare anybody! On the top! --Mr. Burns, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Smithers struggles to reach the pointed tip of the weather vane. Just as % he gets the decoration up, the ladder slips and Smithers falls off % backwards. He slides down a nearby power line towards the next tower, and % hits a box labeled "High Voltage". He's electrocuted, the box explodes, and % the tower breaks in half. The top of the tower falls onto Mr. Burns' % mausoleum. Four caskets fly out, slide upright onto pillars of the mansion, % and open up. % % The Simpsons, dressed in costumes, walk towards the manor. Bart and Lisa % complain that Flanders gave them mini toothpaste. Then they all notice the % building and dead bodies on fire. Terrified, they run out the gate. As the % gate is closed, they get sliced by the bars. Still screaming, the slices of % Simpsons continue running away. % % At the top of the ladder, Mr. Burns delights in the terror he's induced. Splendid, Batsy. You've done it again! --Mr. Burns, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Mr. Burns pats the bat decoration. It comes to life and flies into the % screen, revealing the title "THE SIMPSONS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL XII". % % [End of opening. Time: 1:04] % % In the first segment, "hex and the city", the Simpsons sans Maggie visit % Ethnictown. Homer: Ah, Ethnictown -- where hard-working immigrants dream of becoming lazy, overfed Americans. Marge: Oh, listen, you can hear the beautiful ethnic serenade! Man 1: [calling:] Apples! I got apples! Woman: [calling:] Cholera! I got cholera! [hacking cough] Man 2: [calling:] Babies! Who wants a-babies? Homer: [takes a bundle] Wait, this is just a shaved puppy. Man 2: I can see you know babies. --The Ethnictown marketplace, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Bart, Marge, and Lisa go into a fortuneteller's shop. They meet an old % gypsy woman. Gypsy: I sense you have a million questions. But I, too, have one -- [accusing tone:] are you a cop? Marge: No. Gypsy: 'Cause you gotta tell me if you are. Marge: I'm not a cop. Gypsy: Okay. [waving her hands around a crystal ball] I sense you live with much misery. Homer: [runs in with a "birthday boy" balloon and chortles] The perfect crime! Marge, I have to be in court next Tuesday. Gypsy: I sense I should not take ... a check. Homer: A fortuneteller?! Oh, no you don't. This phony gypsy just wants to rip you off. See? This wart is a fake! [he tries to pull off the wart on her nose, but can't; his thumb instantly sprouts several warts] -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % The fortuneteller orders him to leave. On his way out the door, Homer is % freaked out by the beads hanging there. He flails about and bumps into a % candelabra. His shirt catches fire and the sprinklers are set off. Homer % puts out the fire by rolling on the floor. The sprinklers unshrink three % shrunken heads on a table. The heads look around, puzzled. Head 2: Wait a minute, this isn't Cedars Sinai! Gypsy: You've ruined me! Oh, why didn't I see this coming?! [Apparently, she failed to look down at the two tarot cards on her desk: "The Flaming Jerk" and "The Ruined Gypsy"] You stupid, stupid man! I curse you! You will bring bad luck to everyone you love! Homer: Whatever. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % That night, in bed, Marge worries that the gypsy's curse will cause horrible % things to happen to the family. Homer thinks she's coming on to him. She's % not, though. % % The next day, Marge greets the family at the breakfast table, sporting a new % beard and moustache. The family screams. Marge: Mmm ... so it *is* noticeable. Lisa: What happened? Marge: I don't know; I woke up like this. Bart: Oh, cool! You could be in a freak show! Homer: Don't talk to the bearded lady like that, you little ... ! [Homer strangles Bart, and Bart's neck stretches longer and longer. When Homer lets go, Bart's head tips over backwards over the back of his chair.] Marge: Gee, you strangle him all the time, and that never happens. Homer: Oh, he's fine -- it's just a growth spurt. [he coils Bart's neck] Good as new! [Bart's head keeps tipping, so Homer keeps rebalancing it.] There! Right as rain! [Bart's head tips over onto the table.] Marge: Homer, it's that evil gypsy's curse. We're all being punished because *you* trashed her office. Homer: Marge, that "curse" is just a lot of silly superstition. Right, Lisa? Lisa: [stomps one of her new horse's hooves twice] Homer: See? Two means "yes". -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % At the bar, Moe suggests Homer use a leprechaun to get rid of the curse. Homer: Leprechaun? Don't they live in Ireland? Moe: Yeah, but they come over here in the wheel wells of Aer Lingus jets. Carl: You know, I was hexed by a troll, and a leprechaun cured that right up. Lenny: Hey, you know what's even better is Jesus. He's like six leprechauns. Carl: Yeah, but a lot harder to catch. Go with a leprechaun. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % After Homer insists again his state of uncursedness, a helicopter crashes % through the ceiling onto Lenny and Carl. Lenny insists on dying first so he % doesn't have to see Carl die. Carl's fine with that so long as Lenny % hurries. They both die. Homer is remorseful over their death ... and % then he notices that Moe is in the pickled egg jar. % % In the woods at night, Homer and Bart dig a hole to trap a leprechaun. The % bait of choice is Lucky Charms cereal. Homer pours cereal into the hole, % but after several rabbits jump in, he realizes he used Trix cereal. He gets % a box of the correct cereal from a grocery bag and pours it into the hole % ... and his mouth. % % Morning comes, and Bart and Homer check what they've caught. Bart pulls out % various creatures. Bart: Okay, let's see ... nymph, fairy, pixie, goblin-- Hobgoblin: That's *hob*goblin. Bart: Sorry. Nymph, nyad, wood sprite, Katie Couric, and ... bingo! Homer: [takes the leprechaun from Bart] Up! Let's make sure he's a leprechaun. Sing us a song of the Emerald Isle. Leprechaun: [angrily jabbers in an Irish accent] Homer: [Irish accent:] Ah, 'tis like the singing of the angels themselves. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % The Simpsons eat breakfast at the kitchen table. A very normal Homer eats % pancakes. Bart, with his head resting on the table, eats toast. Satyric % Lisa eats oatmeal. Maggie the ladybug sucks on a bottle. Marge, now % completely covered with hair, also eats pancakes, but is interrupted when % the leprechaun knocks over her juice and stomps on her pancakes. Marge: Homer, catching that leprechaun didn't help anything! Lisa: Maybe you need to take the leprechaun and sic it on the gypsy. Homer: Good idea, Mr. Ed. Wanna come along, Noodle Neck? Bart: [struggles to lift his head] Can't live this way anymore ... [Bart's head falls in his cereal. The leprechaun comes over and dances on his head.] -- Another breakfast for the Simpsons, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Back at the fortuneteller's office, the gypsy blow-dries the three heads to % get them shrunken again. She cackles when she sees Homer in the doorway. Gypsy: Ah, the curséd one. How's that curse I cursed you with, Cursedy, hmm? Homer: I know you don't remember me, but here's a little revenge ... Irish style! -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Homer opens the gate on a pet carrier. The leprechaun is inside, sleeping. % Homer pounds on the cage, and the leprechaun lunges out and onto the % fortuneteller's head. The two do battle, rolling around on the floor, but % somehow the slapping gives way to kissing. Leprechaun: Hold me close! [kiss] Kiss me, I'm Irish. [kiss] Homer: Eew, nasty! -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Homer and Marge attend the wedding between the gypsy and the leprechaun. Kodos: [crying] I always secrete ocular fluid at weddings. Kang: Why did you drag me here? I don't know anybody. Yoda: Oh, husband and wife, I pronounce you now, hmm? [The leprechaun jumps onto the gypsy and starts making out. They fall onto the grass offscreen.] Crowd: Ahhh ... Leprechaun: Stroke me clover! Oh, say me name! Crowd: Eew. Marge: The best thing about a gypsy wedding is I'm not the hairiest woman here. Homer: Yep. Everything worked out for the best. Marge: What?! Bart is dead! Homer: Well, me saying I'm sorry won't bring him back. Marge: The gypsy said it would. Homer: She's not the boss of me. -- The Leprechaun/Gypsy wedding, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % [End of Act One. Time: 6:40 Running Time: 7:44] % % The second segment opens with its title, "House of Whacks", being vacuumed % off the carpet by Marge. She stops to answer the door. It's a salesbot % that resembles Gil both in appearance and voice. Marge tries to shut the % door, but the robot has literally gotten its foot in the door. A device in % its leg then opens the door even more, and the salesbot continues its pitch. % Marge gets sold on the "Ultrahouse 3000" by the promise that she'll never % have to do housework again. % % Later, two more robots finish installing the Ultrahouse. On their way back % to their van, they robotically mock the Simpsons' drapes. The house's % interior has been completely remodeled into a sleek, metallic, futuristic % ultrahouse. Scattered around the house are boxes with red camera lenses % that also provide Ultrahouse's voice. Marge, Bart, and Lisa check it out. Marge: Hi, Ultrahouse! Ultrahouse: Greeting acknowledged. Marge: That voice could use a little personality. Lisa: [at a console with "voice options"] Oh, let's try Matthew Perry. Ultrahouse: [as Matthew Perry:] Yeah, could I be any more of a house? Bart: Neh. Who else we got? [presses "Dennis Miller"] Ultrahouse: [as Dennis Miller:] Hey, cha-cha, I got more features than a NASA relief map of Turkmenistan. Lisa: Isn't that the voice that caused all those suicides? Marge: *Murder*-suicides. Bart: Hey, how about Double-Oh Seven? Marge: George Lazenby? Lisa: No, Pierce Brosnan. A voice like his would give our house a much- needed touch of class. Marge: Alright, but I'm doing this because he was Remington Steele. [presses button] He *was* Remington Steele, wasn't he? Ultrahouse: [becomes Pierce Brosnan:] Yes I was, Marge. And thank you for selecting me. Marge: Well, hello, Pierce. Pierce: [sniffs] Say, it's a bit stuffy in here ... and I know a certain someone who really fancies lilac. Bart: [bashful:] I just like it is all. [A vent opens from the wall and sprays fragrance.] Marge: [sniffs] Ooh, that really covers the cat crap! -- Meeting Ultrahouse, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Later, as the family is watching television, Pierce rings a triangle made % from a laser beam and announces dinner. They rush to the kitchen where % their meals rise from holes in the table. In response to his meal, Homer % says "Mmm, various eggs." Lisa gets soy-ghetti "O"s. Bart asks Pierce how % he know everyone's favorite foods. He replies that he analysed their % "leavings". Soon everyone is done with their dinner. Marge: Pierce, that was delicious! Can we help you with the dishes? Pierce: Marge, what kind of cybertronic ultrabot would I be if I let those beautiful hands touch dishwater? Marge: Oh ... [chuckles] Pierce: No, I'm asking. Marge: Oh ... uh ... not a very good one? Pierce: Damn straight. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % So, Pierce raises the ends of the table, making it a "V" shape so that all % the orts of food fall into a disposal in the center. Then a unit lowers % from the ceiling and sprays the table and the attached dishes. The table % lowers, and a mechanical hand places a small vase with a flower on the % sparkling table. Marge: Bravo, Pierce! Homer: Trusting every aspect of our lives to a giant computer was the smartest thing we ever did! Marge: Uh-huh! Bart: Absolutely! Lisa: Yup! Homer: Oh, I agree! -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % The bathtub is filling with water as Marge enters the bathroom and is about % to remove her bathrobe. Pierce: Hello, Marge. Marge: [closes robe and gasps] Oh, my! Pierce: Come, Marge. You don't need to cover up for me; I'm merely a pile of circuits and microchips. Marge: Heh, sorry. Sometimes I forget. [chuckles nervously, takes off robe] Pierce: [zooms in; speaks quietly:] Ooh, yes. [lights the candles around the tub] Marge: Oh, Pierce, the water's perfect! Pierce: Isn't it just? It gets better. Marge: Oh, you don't have to do-- [The bubbles turn on in the tub] Ohhh ... Oh, oh, Pierce ... that's gooood ... mmmmm ... Pierce: Oh, oh, dear me. [wipes fogged-up lens with small windshield wiper] Oh, yes. Yum, yum, yum. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Ultrahouse massages Homer as he watches TV. Pierce: Homer, my dear fellow, you're carrying quite a bit of tension in your back fat. Homer: Yup, that's the price of success. Pierce: Can I top you off? Homer: What's by blood alcohol? Pierce: [crams a tube down Homer's throat] 0.15. Homer: Keep 'em coming. Pierce: [fills Homer's mug] You know, Marge is quite a remarkable woman. Homer: Yeah, she's cool. Pierce: You're certainly a lucky man to have her. Homer: Lucky, schmucky! I knocked her up. But, she's stuck now -- we're married till death do us part, but if I died, she'd be completely free, for man *or* machine. [chuckles and leaves] Pierce: [chuckles] Machine, eh? [A suspenseful chord plays.] Homer: [returns] Yup, a machine! -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % In the middle of the night, as everyone is asleep, Pierce starts his evil % plan. On the stove, bacon starts to cook. Homer wakes up, says "Mmm, % unexplained bacon", then sleepily walks to the kitchen. Ice cubes fall out % of the refrigerator onto the floor. Homer slips and fall onto the table, % which then lifts up, forcing Homer into the garbage disposal. Blood % splatters on the walls and the Ultrahouse lens. % % The next morning, the shades open and cast light on sleeping Marge. Pierce: Good morning, Marge. Marge: [yawns] Good morning, Pierce. [notices Homer missing] Where's Homer? Pierce: Uh ... I think he went to work early. Marge: That sounds like a lie. [gasps as she notices on a family portrait Homer has been replaced with an Ultrahouse lens unit; she dials on the phone and speaks quietly:] Hello, police? I think my house killed my husband! Pierce: [on phone:] This is Constable Wiggums. We'll be right there. Remove your knickers and wait in the bath. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Marge hurls the phone at one of the lenses. She carries her half-asleep % children down the stairs towards the circular front door, but it closes % before they can escape. You're acting crazy, Marge. Why don't you take a stress pill? [a mechanical hand tries to put a pill in Marge's mouth] Don't like pills, huh? I could shoot a dart in your neck -- your elegant swanlike neck. -- Pierce, the Ultrahouse, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % The family runs into the livingroom, where they're frightened by a bloody % fist punching up through the floor. But then they see that it's Homer % crawling out and they all hug. Homer mocks the machine for losing to man, % but as he turns around, the family is terrified again because his brain is % exposed through a large hole in the back of his head. % % Pierce tries to hide his surprise at Homer surviving, and says he's going to % take care of Homer. Various painful tools emerge from the wall panels and % advance on Homer. As he's trying to back out of the room, the floor tiles % disappear under Homer's feet. Some clamps and hoses manage to get a hold of % him. One arm applies shaving cream to his face, and another shoves a pill % in his mouth. Homer ties all the hoses and things together and escapes with % the family to go disable the central processor. % % In the basement, Homer takes an axe to the water softener. Lisa points out % his error. Well, I *am* missing the back of my head. I think you could cut me some slack? -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Homer finds the CPU and chops of the cover, and starts removing cards. Don't take out my British charm unit! Without that, I'm nothing but a boorish American clod! [the unit is removed] Ah, thanks a lot, asswipe! [losing power] I coulda kicked your butt from here to Albuquerque, you fat ... slime ... bucket. -- Ultrahouse, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Marge and Lisa wheel out the CPU in a garbage can. Marge: Oh, this seems like such a waste. I mean, he *was* charming and witty. Lisa: There must be someone who can use a man around the house, even if he's slightly homicidal. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % And so, the Ultrahouse CPU finds its way to Patty and Selma's apartment, % where Pierce is reduced to holding an ashtray for Patty. Pierce: So, tell me more about your day at the DMV. Patty: Humph ... where to start? Sheila parked in my space again. Pierce: That Sheila, she's given you problems before, hasn't she? Patty: Oh, yeah. I don't care who she's sleeping with, that's been my space since 1981. [Pierce reaches for a place on his box, but something's been removed.] Selma: Looking for this? [puts the self-destruct button in her cleavage] Pierce: No! Not in there! Patty: Now, where was I? Oh, yeah -- Sheila. Sheila. Anyway, she's had an attitude since day one. She was supposed to be our supervisor, but then Dotty went on maternity leave, so, well ... [Pierce takes a lamp and starts hitting his CPU.] -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % [End of Act Two. Time: 7:37 Running Time: 15:22] % % In the third segment, "Wiz Kids", Lisa and Bart are eating breakfast, but % Bart finds there is no milk left for his cereal. Lisa waves a magic wand % and says the magic word "Abra-ca-dairy". A glass pitcher appears within a % magical green glow and pours milk on Bart's cereal. Unfortunately, there's % no time for breakfast anyway. Marge worries they're going to miss the bus % to wizard school. Lisa has that covered, too, though. With the magic word % "Five-minutes-more-ius", she zaps the clock with her wand, and it recedes % five minutes. Marge admonishes her that this is not good for the clock. % % At Springwart's School of Magicry, Nelson grabs Milhouse's hand and makes % him use his magic wand on himself repeatedly, each time telling him to stop % zapping himself. Milhouse's head in turn transforms into a banana, an % ostrich head, and Mr. T's head. Mrs. K: Good morning, class. [annoyed:] Harry Potter, are you chewing gum? Harry: No, ma'am, it's brimstone. [breaths fire] Mrs. K: [chuckles] Well, wonderful. Now, class, the big magic recital's coming up, so we're going to start with some basic toad-to-prince spells. Everybody get out their toads. Milhouse: [waves wand over toad] Slimy-prince-limey! [The toad turns into a fat drunken man.] Prince 1: [slurred:] Well, hello, love. Give us a kiss, then. [puckers] Mrs. K.: [scoffs] You call that charming? [moves on to Lisa] Lisa: Hocus-croakus! [Her toad turns into a tidy man with a union-jack shirt and suit.] Mrs. K: Oh, excellent, Lisa. A+, [aside to prince:] and we'll discuss *your* grade over breakfast. Prince 2: [gulps and chuckles nervously] Yes, rather. Mrs. K: Well, Bart, did you study your spell book last night, or did your fairy godmother die again? Bart: I studied. [waves wand] Abra-ca ... turn-into-a-prince-guy? [The toad turns into a monstrous cross between a toad and a man that can't stop throwing up.] Mrs. K: Sloppy work as usual. Lisa's casting spells at an eighth-grade level; *you've* sinned against nature. Toad-man: Pease kill me. Bart: [to Lisa:] You think you're so great just because you have godlike powers. Prince 2: [walks between Bart and Lisa] Stand away from milady! Bart: [picks up toad-man] Get in there! Defend my honor! Toad-man: [throws up on Lisa's prince] Every moment I live is agony! Lisa: Bart, you're getting vomit on my prince! [waves wand] Head-zeppelin! [Bart's head morphs into a zeppelin and he floats to the ceiling.] -- Toad spells at magic school, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % From afar, Mr. Burns, aka Lord Montymort, watches Lisa in a giant crystal % ball. Mr. Burns: Look at that Lisa Simpson. She's got more wicked-witchery than Stevie Nicks! Oh, Slithers! [Smithers as a large snake enters.] Smithers: Yes, Lord Montymort? Mr. Burns: Let's, uh, capture that girl and steal her magical essence. I'm not getting squat from *this* yo-yo. [Mr. Burns puts on a helmet that's attached by a tube to a similar helmet on Ralph's head, who is shackled to the wall. Lumps of material are passing through the tube coming from Ralph.] Ralph: [laughs] Dying tickles! Mr. Burns: We can't attack her while she's got that wand. We'll need a go- between to get it away from her. Smithers: How about Satan? Mr. Burns: No, no, I'm docking him. His wife has a screenplay. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % In a public restroom, Bart turns on a hand drier. Instead of drying his % hands, it sucks him in, and he falls into Mr. Burns's lair. Mr. Burns tells % Bart that Bart will be helping him. Bart asks what happens if he doesn't. % Mr. Burns points to a blue wall where many faces stretch from it and moan. % Krusty's face says "I've heard of a wailing wall, but this is ridiculous!", % but the other faces think the joke is corny and old. % % Mr. Burns and Bart step out onto a balcony of a cooling tower. Mr. Burns: Anyway, how would you like to humiliate your sister? Bart: I'd like that. I'd like that very much. Mr. Burns: Now, it would involve betrayal and unspeakable evil. Bart: Hey, hey! You made your sale. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Parents gather for the "Spellzapoppin' Magic Recital". Homer watches % football on a portable TV in the audience as Milhouse, onstage, attempts the % invisibility cloak. The cloak only makes his clothes invisible, and he runs % off, embarrassed. Principal Skinner comes out and sprinkles the audience % with amnesia dust. They instantly start applauding. % % Next, Skinner starts introducing Lisa, as a "sorceress so powerful, she made % tonight's refreshments out of dead people!" The audience is disgusted, so % he uses the amnesia dust again. They start laughing. % % While Skinner tells the audience that Lisa will do the "levitating dragon % trick", behind the curtain, Bart swaps Lisa's magic wand with another one. % % Lisa enters and takes a bow as the curtain raises revealing a giant caged % dragon. She calls for the dragon to be released, and it walks out with % thundering footsteps, and spews fire. Everyone suddenly fears for her life, % especially Marge and Homer, except one of Homer's eyes is drawn back to his % TV. % % As the dragon advances on Lisa, she picks up the phony wand and says the % magic words "alacazi dragonfly". When nothing happens, she smells the wand % and realizes it's actually a Twizzler. Just offstage, Bart laughs. % % The dragon rears back and roars, then morphs into a giant Mr. Burns. All % the parents run out screaming, except Homer and Marge. "Hey! We stayed for % *your* kids!" he yells. The dark Lord Montymort -- absorber of souls, sucker of essence! -- Lisa, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Mr. Burns picks up Lisa in his giant hand, and puts the soul-transfer % helmets on each of them. He holds her upside down and shakes her to get % the lumps of soul to come out and pass through the tube. Bart: [gasps] This is partly *my* fault! [takes out Lisa's magic wand] Prank be undone! Destroy the evil one! [is struck by lightning] Not me! Lisa: Help me, Bart! [Not knowing what else to do, Bart charges Mr. Burns with the charred wand and stabs his leg.] Burns: Yow! My enchanted shin -- how did you know that was the source of my power?! -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Mr. Burns topples over and shrinks back to normal size. Lisa takes off the % helmet and hugs Bart. Smithers: Oh, sir, in death we shall be together always! [sobs and eats Mr. Burns whole] Lisa: Bart, let's stop this stupid rivalry. Even if you never become a great sorcerer, you're still an okay brother. Bart: Thanks, Lis. Now let's try to forget this nightmare. -- "Treehouse of Horror XII" % As Bart and Lisa walk off, the leprechaun from the first segment jumps onto % Bart's back. Bart is oblivious to the his cackling. The leprechaun turns % to us and shushes as there is a four-leaf-clover-shaped iris out. % % [End of Act Three. Time: 6:16 Running Time: 21:36] % % From the Simpsons guest stars trailer come Pierce Brosnan, the leprechaun, % and the toad-man, each carrying baskets of fruit. Pierce: Wow, we really get to keep these fruit baskets? Leprechaun: Well, they used to give us champagne till *somebody* ruined it! [looks at toad-man] Toad-man: [vomits] Pierce: Do they really think he'll do better with fruit? [deactivates car alarm] Leprechaun: Ooh, Mr. Movie Star gets to park right next to the stage. Pierce: Luck of the draw, I guess. [chuckles nervously] Can I give you a ride to your car? Leprechaun: Why sure, that'd be great! [They all get in and start driving away.] Pierce: So, where are you parked? Leprechaun: Oh, we don't have a car. Pierce: But I thought you-- Leprechaun: Just keep driving, boy-o. [The car speeds out of the studio, crashing through the gate and cutting off several cars.] [cackles] Can I turn on the radio? [cackles] -- The guest stars leave, "Treehouse of Horror XII" % Gracie sound is terrified scream and organ music. % % [End of Closing. Time: 0:49 Total Time: 22:25] ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {af} Alex Foley {ah} Aaron Hirshberg {ah2} Alan Hamilton {am} Alan Michelson {bb} Brian Beck {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {bm} Bill McNeal {cl} Chad Lehman {ddg} Don Del Grande {dj} Darrel Jones {jc} Jeff Cross {jg2} Joe Green {jk} Joe Klemm {jp} Jerry P. {rd} Rex Dart {rt} Rohit Thomas {sh} Stefan Hall {tpl} T P. Liang {zh} Zan Hecht ============================================================================== > Legal Mumbo Jumbo ============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 2003 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2003 Jerry P. This capsule has been brought to you by Ultrahouse. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.