The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson           Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham
                                                       Directed by Jim Reardon
==============================================================================
Production Code: 4F22                           First aired on FOX: 24-Sept-97
Capsule Revision E (15-May-2000)
==============================================================================
> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
   None submitted.

   [If you use these summaries to determine if you have found the right
   capsule, here's a TV Guide-like synopsis: Drunk on the lack of alcohol in
   his system, Barney takes the Simpsonmobile on a ride to New York City
   during his reign as the designated driver at Moe's bar. In order to
   retrieve it, Homer must return to New York City, where a dark past that
   he'd rather forget lurks.]

==============================================================================
> Title Sequence
==============================================================================
Blackboard:    None due to shortened intro.

Couch:         To the tune of "Sweet Georgia Brown", everybody enters dressed
               as Harlem Globetrotters. {ddg}

==============================================================================
> Didja Notice...
==============================================================================
   ... apparently Homer is better at math with larger numbers? [he had
       trouble working out how many hours he had to wait for the parking
       officer, but found it easy counting up his money -- and you know how
       expensive crab juice can get. --hmw.]
   ... Marge felt like a nobody in New York, but didn't feel like a nobody in
       the glamorous Capitol City in 7F05?
   ... Marge and Lisa were so mesmorised by the shoes that Lisa thought Bart
       was Homer, and Marge uncharacteristically let Bart wonder off on his
       own?

Vince Chan:
   ... Maggie had her pacifier in her mouth when she woke up?
   ... there was an ad for Laramies on the cab roof?
   ... the graffiti in the subway tunnel?
   ... the observation deck is on the 107th floor?
   ... there is an air freshener on the lighter in the car?
   ... the credits shown on Canwest Global were different from the version
       shown on Fox? (the "credit" part of the credits was shown directly on
       the episode, while the Fox version was shown below.)

Ben Collins:
   ... this is the first non-Halloween episode without Groening-style closing
       credits?
   ... the music store from 8F06?
   ... the very tall man sitting behind Homer on the bus is Wadlow from 3F18?
   ... Homer knows how to signal?
   ... the woman behind Marge at the theatre, struggling to see around her
       hair?

Daniel Timothy Dey:
   ... Homer had to stop in New York City on his way to Harrisburg,
       (Pennsylvania?), in order to get an irregular coat? This and the fact
       that they had to take a transfer in Atlanta twice, once again poses
       the question "Where Is Springfield"?
   ... Homer's cab at the PA Bus Terminal is a 1992 Ford Crown Victoria?
   ... The immigrants  that Bart tells to "beat it," are from somewhere in
       South-Eastern Europe?

Mike Evans:
   ... the police don't stop Homer when he causes a Traffic Jam?
   ... Marge would actually let Bart go to the Betty Ford Center?

Andrew Field:
   ... Barney's nervous tic as he dropped off Homer?

Ted Frank:
   ... Duffman surreptitiously checking a notecard for Barney Gumble's
       name and quickly discarding it?
   ... The lead in the Betty Ford musical, in the overhead shot, was
       standing on a clearly identified mark?
   ... The "Midtown Urine Depositary"?

Andrew Gill:
   ... Barney regains some diction?
   ... Wadlow reappears?
   ... The man wearing the apron like the New York prole mother?
   ... The Doris Grau impersonation?

Don Del Grande:
   ... this is the first season premiere without a blackboard gag?
   ... Barney's black egg wasn't hard-boiled?
   ... "12-DAY DRY CLEANERS" is across the street from Moe's?
   ... Homer's 8-track is a "Trackstar"?
   ... Marge says "Fourth Avenue", which is actually rather short?  (It
       runs from 5th Street to 14th Street; north of there, it's Park
       Avenue.)
   ... there's no credit for the "New York, New York" singer at the end?
   ... the version of "New York, New York" includes the proper ending
       ("Come on, come through...") rather than the Sinatra version
       ending (a repeat of "It's up to you...")?

Tony Hill:
   ... Springfield has a 12-day dry cleaners?
   ... Woody Allen? [pours garbage out the window in Homer's flashback --
       hmw.]
   ... the Port Authority Bus Terminal is a "sight" in the eyes of Marge?
   ... different agents lease the floors above and below the MAD offices?
   ... a building on Broadway is marked "G"? (for Groening?)
   ... the horse is named after Secretariat? [see References --hmw.]

Scott Kempf:
   ... Homer calls the number on the boot, and we see the car in the
       background, not more than ten feet away - In the next scene with
       Homer, he gets hungry and notices the restaraunt across the street.
       On the bottom of the restaraunts banner, it says  "WE DELIVER
       555-PIZZA", so why doesn't Homer go back to the phone next to his
       car and order the food, getting it delivered?

Joe Klemm:
   ... how cute Maggie looks when she yawns?
   ... the New York Jets tryouts ad on the subway?

Diego Kontarovsky:
   ... the couch scene is an indirect reference to the plot itself
       (Globetrotting)?
   ... the Simpson house was unlocked when Homer came home drunk?
   ... the guy behind Homer on the bus wincing in pain as Homer pounded on
       his legs?
   ... the cop eyeing young Homer's bag before stealing it?
   ... OFF's bright coloring makes them stand out a little?
   ... the Japanese flag outside the Fireworks shop?
   ... Homer's moans of relief lasted for approximately 15 seconds?
   ... Homer even jiggles as the uriner?

Ondre Lombard:
   ... the rats that invaded Moe's bar in 4F19 apparently never left?
   ... Homer and the guys seem to be coming to Moe's from work, but Barney
       emerges from out of the bathroom as if it's morning?
   ... Barney bites off of an uncracked peanut?
   ... Moe's is unusually busy?
   ... Bart begs for money and apparently gets nothing, but Homer gets money
       without having to beg for it?
   ... albeit for a brief while, attention to detail is paid to Homer's 
       watch, which otherwise would normally disappear after its use has gone?
   ... a shop in Chinatown called "Yee's Olde Towne"?
   ... Homer now remembers what "VIP" stands for? [see 8F01 --hmw.]

James R.:
   ... Marge tells Homer to simply meet "in Central Park"?
       The park is over 800 acres large and has numerous entrances, which
       makes her comment extremely vague.
   ... The interior lobby of the World Trade Center was rather accurate,
       including the observation deck which is on the 107th floor?

Phil J. Reed:
   ... there was not a fifth finger on the characters, as rumors had 
       suggested? (Woohoo!)
   ... Maggie was the only one in the couch opening without shorts?
   ... Barney's clothing is suprisingly clean for having slept in a public
       bathroom?
   ... apparently Moe lets Barney spend the night in his office?  [See 
       4F03]
   ... Lenny and Carl are _both_ seen in an episode that does not even 
       _mention_ SNPP?
   ... Barney licking beer off of his face as he drives everybody home?
   ... Lenny and Carl both live closer to Moe's than Homer does?
   ... Homer rides his scooter on the street, rather than the sidewalk?
   ... the picture of Maggie on the piano is positioned so that you  can't
       see it if you were sitting at the piano?
   ... Homer was allowed to roam New York City _alone_ as a child?
   ... two Simpsons complain about not having a bathroom nearby? (Lisa
       and Homer)?
   ... Marge spends time only with the kids on vacation, as opposed to 
       2F10 when she spent time only with Homer? (she learned her lesson --
       hmw.]
   ... outside of the shoe store, a man walking on the sidewalk looks 
       like Roy from 2F12?
   ... the judge in the musical looks like Kirk VanHouten?
   ... one of the doctors in the musical looks like Dr. Foster from 
       4F07?
   ... another one of the doctors in the musical looks like a 
       bespectacled Nick Riviera with "calmer" looking hair?
   ... a man sitting behind Marge and to her left looks like an oddly 
       warped version of Hans Moleman?
   ... Homer can drive behind an inflated airbag?
   ... Secretariat was mentioned in both this, and last season's premiere?
   ... Homer twitches in the end, the same way Barney twitched in the 
       beginning?
   ... FOX did not talk over the end credits? (Woohoo!)

Mark Richey:
   ... when Barney comes out of the bathroom he's brushing his teeth?
   ... the sweatmarks on Barney's shirt?
   ... Homer drops a beer can when he gets out of the car?
   ... Barney sounds a lot like Yoda right before he drives off? [see
       References --hmw.]
   ... Homer falls down in the doorway?
   ... the mattress car's license plate is KL5-311? [{th} explains, "this is a
       ref to movie and TV telephone numbers, usually start with KL5 = 555" --
       hmw.]
   ... everyone on the subway ignores Bart?
   ... the Mad secretary is reading "Glamour"?
   ... the star of "Kickin' It" resembles Robert Downey, Jr.?
   ... Fox is now shoving "The Simpsons" closing credits onto the side of the
       screen (why do networks think no one is interested in closing credits)?

Benjamin Robinson:
   ... Marge apparently won't let Homer driver her station wagon?
   ... Homer's flashback looked overexposed, as if the film had deteriorated?
   ... as Homer pulls away from the World Trade Center, he signals left but
       turns right?
   ... adding insult to injury, as Homer drives out of the city he's pasted
       with a bag of biohazardous medical waste?

Bob Stone:
   ... Homer's muffler fell off -- twice?
       Once after he removes the boot and then again when he drives through
       the chain link fence.

Penny Veitch:
   ... Barney calls Homer, Lenny and Carl "ladies"?
   ... that the "have you seen--" poster for the car says "Have you seen ME"?
   ... Homer actually refers to $250 as "dollars", not "bucks"?
   ... Homer appears to have finally made peace with his brain?

Javier Vera:
   ... if Barney dissapeared with Homer's car, means that he went drinking
       that same night, knowing that he is an assigned (designated) driver?
   ... how Homer reacted against New York means that "Capitol City" from
       7F05 wasn't New York?
   ... Homer prefers to burn his own wallet instead of being robbed in New
       York?
   ... There is actually only one bathroom in a 100-floor building?
   ... Homer doesn't recognize Maggie again?

==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
   - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Barney, World Trade Center Worker 3, Subway Bum,
        New York City mailman, Alfred E. Neuman, horse cab driver)
   - Julie Kavner (Marge)
   - Nancy Cartwright (Bart)
   - Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
   - Hank Azaria (Moe, Carl, Duffman, limo driver, "ZZ Top" Rabbi, World Trade
        Center Worker 2, Khlav Kalesh guy)
   - Harry Shearer (Lenny, Captain of immigrant ship, World Trade Center
        Worker 1)

- Guest Starring
   - Kipp Lennon (drug addict star of "Betty Ford" musical)
   - Tress MacNeille ("Mad Magazine" secretary)

==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
   + The Harlem Globetrotters (basketball team)
      - in the couch gag, OFF comes out like the Globetrotters, a legendary
        basketball team that is as concerned with making the audience laugh as
        it is winning (it usually does both)  {mr}

   + "Jurassic Park" (movie)
      - Barney notices the bowl of peanuts vibrating when the Duffmobile is
        coming, the same way JP's cups of water vibrate when dinosaurs 
        approach {jch}

   + "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (movie)
      - the music as Duffman arrives  {ag}

   + "Home Improvement" (TV series)
      - Homer building a car from scratch in the garage, similar to Tim
        Taylor {dk}

   + "The Sting" (movie)
      - the music during Homer's flashback  {ag}

   + "Midnight Cowboy" (movie)
      - naive country boy in NYC  {hl}

   + "Jeremiah Johnson" (movie)
      - porn film, "Jeremiah's Johnson"  {jc}

   + "The Godfather Part II" (movie)
      - one of the porn films spoofs the title of this movie  {br}

   + "Five Easy Pieces" (movie)
      - same deal as above  {br}

   + "C.H.U.D" (movie)
      - Homer claims the monsters from this movie attacked him on his stopover
        in the Big Apple {br}

   + The Onion (newspaper)
     - The sign on the subway saying TRADE FOOD STAMPS FOR LOTTERY TICKETS
       appeared on the front page several times [submitted by "Godpresident"]

   + ZZ Top (music group)
     - two of the three guys in this band have long beards, like the Chasidim 
       that Bart saw.  (Ironically, the one clean-shaven ZZ Top member is
       named Frank *Beard*.) {br}

   + Reggie McFadden's stand-up act
     - Bum claiming he's Jesus in a similar fashion {dk}

   + "2001: A Space Odyssey" (movie)
      - Homer trying to reach the pizza store remeniscent of the old Bowman
        trying to reach the monolith from his bed {jj}

   + "Steven Spielberg Presents Animaniacs" (animated series)
      - Short "Potty Emergency" has Wakko Warner desperately needing to use
        the bathroom, and he finds a men's room is out of order.
        "Flushing Meadows" reminding Homer of relieving himself is also
        similar to Wakko's dilemma {ol}

   + "Sim Tower" (video game)
      - the `ka-ching' when the elevator doors open are identical to those in
        Sim Tower {kh}

   + "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" (feature in Mad Magazine)
      - Bart's question, and the "Mad" secretary's reply, resemble the setup
        punchline from this "Mad" magazine staple  {br}

   + "I'm Very Sorry Murderer" (Monty Python skit)
      - the long list of crimes as "page one" cf. the people that the man
        killed in one morning {ag}

   + "Roger & Me" (documentary)
      - Homer smashes his car radio when he hears an upbeat song ("Everything
        is Beautiful"), just like that out-of-work auto worker who hears
        another one ("Wouldn't It be Nice"), in the 1989 documentary {dtd}

   + "Ben Hur" (movie)
      - the scene with the car ramming into the buggy, cf. the chariots  {ag}
        (note, this reference was originally observed as a reference from
        Spartacus, but was corrected by Alex Ireland -- hmw.)

   + Secretariat (Kentucky Derby winner)
      - the park's carriage driver named his horse in honor of this Kentucky
        Derby winner  {br}
        [{jch} says, "Opinions may vary on this but the way I took the line
        was that the horse really WAS Secretariat, old and no longer able to
        race, reduced to pulling carriages to make a living. Similar to the
        way great boxers end up working as casino greeters in Las Vegas.
        Addendum: in 1973 Secretariat won not only the Kentucky Derby but the
        entire Triple Crown -- Kentucky Derby, Preakness, Belmont Stakes. He
        died in 1989, but I think it's funnier to think of him still alive and
        shlepping tourists around Central Park," -- hmw.)

==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- MAD magazine references {hl}
   - [8F15] MAD among confiscated magazines.
   - [9F20] Female prisoner has MAD fold-in tattooed on her back.
   - [1F22] Bart reads a MAD magazine.
   - [3F10] Bart says MAD has 17 special issues per year.
   - [4F22] Well, d'uh!

- The Simpsons venture out of Springfield {jv2}
   - [7G13] France (Bart)
   - [7F05] Capitol City (OFF)
   - [7F16] Detroit (OFF)
   - [8F01] Washington (OFF)
   - [8F24] Kamp Krusty (Bart, Lisa and other kids)
   - [9F11] Duff Gardens (Bart, Lisa and Selma)
   - [9F22] Terror Lake (OFF)
   - [1F07] Capital City (Homer and Mindy Simmons, later Marge)
   - [1F10] India (Homer and Apu)
   - [2F01] Itchy & Scratchy Land (OFF)
   - [2F03] Mr. Burn's Mansion (OFF and Grandpa)
   - [2F13] Australia (OFF)
   - [3F17] Knocksville World Fair (Bart, Milhouse, Nelson and Martin)
   - [3F21] Around USA (Homer and the Hulabalooza team)
   - [3F22] Little Pwagmattasquarmesettport. (OFF plus Milhouse)
   - [3F23] Cypress Creek(OFF)
   - [4F10] Some Mountain (OFF)
   - [4F21] Military School (Bart and Lisa)
   - [4F22] Well, duh!

   (Notice that the chart tells that Bart is the only one that has been in
   every trip.)

- [7G01] The last time (to my recollection) that Moe brought out the jar of
         pickled eggs. {hl}
- [7G08] Laser surgery. {pjr}
- [7G09] Homer holds up traffic with his shoddy vehicle {pjr}
- [7F16] [8F21] [9F01] [9F05] [9F15] Homer in dire need to use the bathroom
         {ol}
- [7F18] Homer shoves through a line.  (Only this time an elderly lady 
         expresses disgust.) {ol}
- [7F22] Homer gets caught trying to wet the mail.  (This time rather 
         literally.) {ol}
- [8F17] [2F33] Homer tosses stuff into a fire {ol}
- [8F17] [9F07] Homer puts up a lot of flyers {ol}
- [8F03] [8F17] [1F01] "Have you seen me?" flyers {ol}
- [8F09] Smithers mistakes Homer for an unfortunate man and gives him money.
         [cf. pedestrians giving Homer pity change.] {ol}
- [9F02] [3F20] Immigration on The Simpsons {ol}
- [9F03] Homer's car has air bags  {br}
- [9F12] A brand name soft drink in real life is referenced on Simpsons {ol}
         [in this case, Mountain Dew --hmw.]
- [9F14] Homer ends up having to ride a bike.  (cf. a scooter) {ol}
- [9F15] Homer laments, "Why did I..." when he ends up having to go {ol}
- [9F21] The Statue of Liberty gives the wrong impression to someone. {pjr}
- [1F05] "The Entertainer" is used {ol}
- [1F13] Barney spends a brief while abstaining from alcohol {ol}
- [1F20] [2F12] Homer disrupts traffic {ol}
- [1F22] Bart (cf. Homer) has an unpleasant run-in with voice mail {ol}
- [2F03] Marge tells Bart not to play with fireworks {ol}
- [2F12] Someone tries to shoot Homer {ol}
- [2F13] a member of OFF is aganist another geographical location in the
         title {me}
- [2F16] Homer's cursing has a long-range, and birds flee a tree 
         subsequently {ol}
- [2F21] Homer fusses over he and Marge's safety {ol}
- [3F07] Designated drivers mentioned
- [3F10] MAD Magazine referenced {ol}
- [3F11] Shuddering after tasting something disgusting (cf. Smithers
         tasting Burns' cake) {pjr}
- [3F15] Simpsons attend a ridiculous musical {ol}
- [3F16] Classical music (from the ragtime/jazz era) is played {me}
- [3F18] "Wadlow" [very tall man --hmw.] appears {bc}
- [3F20] Simpsons in the Statue of Liberty {ol}
- [3F24] Secretariat mentioned  {hl}
- [4F07] A regular twitches madly (cf. Ned) {pjr}
- [4F15] Instead of turning away designated drivers, Moe elects one {ol}
- [4F15] Duff beer's extravagant festivities {ol}
- [4F19] rats scurrying towards Moe's bar  {hl}

==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Across the street from Moes {dk}

   ___/[COAT HANGER]\___
   |     TWELVE-DAY    |
   |    DRY CLEANERS   |
   ---------------------

- During Homer's flashback {br}

   THE GODFATHER'S      JEREMIAH'S      FIVE 
      PARTS, II          JOHNSON      SLEAZY 
                                      PIECES 
- Welcome sign {br}

  Welcome to MANHATTAN
      HOME OF THE
   WORLD-WEARY POSEUR

- Some of the signs on the subway {br}

    TRADE                    CAN YOU THROW 
 FOOD STAMPS                  A FOOTBALL? 
     FOR 
LOTTERY TICKETS             1800 [football] 
                                4NYJETS 
  
    BEWARE                the football itself: 
      OF                       BECOME 
    SUBWAY                    A NY JET 
                               TODAY 

- Sign in subay {dk}

 --------------------------
 |     HAVE YOU BEEN      |
 |        INJURED         |
 | IN A SUBWAY ACCIDENT?  |
 | CALL NY METRO 555-5680 |
 --------------------------

- Sign behind bum on Subway {dk}
 ____________
 |  BEWARE  |
 |    OF    |
 |  SUBWAY  |
 ------------
  
- Seen in the "Mad" magazine office {br}
   - Alfred E. Neumann
   - The white spy from "Spy vs. Spy"
   - someone drawn in Don Martin's style
   - Roger Kaputnick from "The lighter side of..."  (This is actually a
     self-portrait of TLSO artist Dave Berg, I think)

- Stores in Chinatown {bs}
   - Yee's Olde Tavern
   - The Emperor's Used Clothes
   - 99 Cent Furniture

- Signs on Broadway {bs}

        Parking
       $10.00/hr

  David Copperfield's
 Astonishing Girlfriend

       Tommy Tune
           In
      Gotta Be Nice
 Winner of 19?? Tony Award

      Neil Simon's 
   More About Brooklyn 
  
         Hoofin' 
           -N- 
         Mouthin' 
  
  Midtown Urine Disposal 
  
  Ernest Goes To Broadway 
  Winner of ? Tony Awards 
  
- Signs Homer passes before busting off the boot {bs}
   - Russian Tea Room 
   - Used Prosthetics

- Pizza store sign {vc}

    ----------------------- 
   |        ORIGINAL       |
   |      FAMOUS RAY's     |
   |                       |
   |  NOT AFFILIATED WITH  |
   | FAMOUS ORIGINAL RAY'S |
   |---------------------- |
   | WE DELIVER 555-PIZA   |
    -----------------------
  
- Sign on Mad building {vc}

    ----------------------------
   | 3rd, 4th, 5th Floors       |
   | For Lease                  |
   | Call 555-2600              |
   |                            |
   | 6th Floor                  |
   | MAD Magazine               |
   |                            |
   | 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th Floors |
   | For LEase CAll 555-8628    |
    ----------------------------

- In MAD office {hl}:
   - guy chasing MAD dirigible with net.
   - White Spy with bomb (blew up another White Spy?!).
   - MAD artist Jack "The Lighter Side Of..." Davis
   - Don Martin type character on pogo stick (he left years ago). Fonebone
     and Kaputnik are two Don Martin characters.
   - man [MAD artist Angelo Torres?] walking on ceiling using suction cups.
   - "Blech" is a favorite MAD euphemism.
   - I think this is the first time Alfred E. Neuman talked?!

- Numbers on OFF's Globetrotter jerseys {dk}
   - Homer [1]
   - Marge [2]
   - Lisa [4]
   - Maggie [5]
   - Bart [3]

- Miscellaneous
   - The license plate on Homer's "Mattress Mobile": KL5-311. {dk}
   - Bus name: SIT-N-STARE BUS LINES. {dk}
   - Advertisement on subway says "Can you throw a football? Call the New
     York Jets!" {mr2}
   - Number of guys asleep on Subway: 2. {dk}
   - Place next to Original Famous Ray's: Tobacco Shop. {dk}
   - Places in Chinatown: 99[cent] Furniture Store, Yee's Olde Tavern,
     FIREWORKS {dk}
   - Homer passes the following signs on the way to pick up Marge and the
     kids: "The Russian Tea Room" and "Used Prosthetic [obscured]" {dk}
   - The truck behind Homer when he removes the boot , is a Mack U-700. {dtd}

==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
* Homer and the guys arrive at Moe's the second they are supposedly let off
  from the plant. {dk}

= If you notice, there are 6 white eggs, not 5 and 1 black one. {af}

= There is clearly no black egg at first. {jv}

= When the Duff PartyMobile arrives, the bowl of nuts on the counter vibrates,
  but the discarded nuts don't. {dk}

= Both Moe and Homer's watches appear and disappear. {mr}

= Barney's sweat stains have disappeared when Duffman arrives. {pjr}

= Duffman's male support strap's color changes from red to blue.  {ol}

= The Duff cans on Duffman's belt disappear and reappear again. {pjr}

* I only count 4 people in the car with Barney.  How'd the other 2 get home?
  {af} [Staggered home? --hmw.]

= The beer on Barney's face - as he drives the drunks home - disappears. {pjr}
  [Barney was licking it off, if I recall correctly --hmw.]

= OFF's mailbox is only seen at bird's eye view when Barney drops Homer off.
  {dk}

* When they get to Homer's house, where'd Lenny and Carl go? {af}

* I thought the Simpsons still had two cars, the sedan and their station wagon.
  Yet when the sedan was gone we see Homer using a scooter, and trying to make
  his own car.
  [Javier Vera agrees, "Don't OFF have two cars? What happened to the other
  one?, it is always seen in the opening sequence, and confirmed in 4F19."
  --hmw.]

= One of Moe's windows disappears along with all of Homer's posters after the
  limo pulls up. {dk}

* Since when does Homer pick up the kids from school? {dk}

* Homer got his scooter from nowhere. {dv}

= The posters on Moes disappear as Homer goes to pick up Bart and Lisa. {af}

= There was a staircase in the garage in 7F09. (Actually, no staircase is
  more believable as there isn't one in the indroduction and, going by
  where it is in 7F09, it would lead off the side of the house!) {jv}

* Marge grabs the knitting material out of nowhere. {pjr}

* Why is Lisa so surprised to see that Homer got mail from New York? {dk}

= The envelope containing the letter from the City of New York has stamps
  and an address on both sides.  {bc}

= Homer walks out the garage when Lisa reads him the letter, but the camera
  shows him entering the next room from a room that looks <nothing> like the
  garage. {pjr}

* Homer's car would have been towed immediately from the middle of the
  World Financial Plaza. {jr}

= The name of the theater playing Jeremiah's Johnson disappears as Homer
  passes it. {dk}

= On the first shot, young Homer has already passed the theater playing
  Jeremiah's Johnson, but on the close-up, he's still walking by it. {dk}

= The newspaper appears under Lisa's arm from nowhere. {pjr}

= The bus windows look different from scene to scene.  {mr}

= Wadlow is standing behind and above Homer; he disappears in the next scene.
  {bc}

* When the family's bus comes into Manhattan, Marge looks out the window and
  says "wow, wall to wall 'landmarks', Williamsburg Bridge, 4th Avenue,
  Governor's Island."  First off, none of those things can be seen from where
  the family's bus was - around the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

* [continuing from the above goof.] I don't know if this was a writer's
  joke, but none of those things are regarded as "landmarks."  4th Avenue is
  actually called Park Avenue, it only exists as 4th Avenue from 8th Street to
  14th Street (I think a few people mentioned this).  The Williamsburg Bridge
  is by no means famous to NY - The Brooklyn Bridge is the one people hear
  about and see in ads/commercials.  And it's usually Ellis and Liberty
  Islands that people come and visit - few tourists are even aware of
  Governor's Island (which can't be visited by civilians). {jr}

* Marge considered laser wart removal futuristic, but wasn't fascinated
  almost eight years earlier when Bart had a tattoo removed using lasers, in
  7G08.

* Bart seeing the Hasidic Jewish men in the Diamond District - the Diamond
  District is really W47th Street between 5th and 6th Aves in Manhattan -
  the family's bus would not have gone over that far in midtown (the bus
  terminal is connected to the tunnel they came in). {jr}

* Bart should recognize rabbis.  He was around quite a few of them when he
  tried to convince Rabbi Krustowsky to forgive his son.  {ol}

= When Homer warns his family about criminals, the close up shot reveals a
  "Taxi Only" sign behind him that did not exist in the top view. {pjr}

= The close up also reveals Homer to be standing much closer to the road than
  the top view did. {pjr}

= When Marge decides to meet in Central Park, a woman exits the bus station
  door behind her, and vanishes behind Marge. {pjr}

* Homer has his wallet in the cab, yet he burned it at the end of act 1. {pjr}

= There is no sign on the boot until Homer reads it. {jv}

= The sticker on the boot appears before the close up, and later disappears as
  Homer drives. {pjr}

= Homer's wrist watch does not exist for long. {pjr}

* The openings in the Statue of Liberty's crown are sealed with glass, you
  can't stick your head out. {jr}

= Officer Steve Grabowski's uniform is that of the regular NYC Police. If
  he were giving Homer a ticket, he'd wear the uniform of the NYC Traffic
  Police. {dtd}

- The cop leaves the ticket at the top of Homer's windshield , but Homer yanks
  it from the bottom. {dk}

+ Homer never paid the pushcart guy for his wares.  {dsb}
  [several alt.tv.simpsons posters argued that we saw the vendor counting his
  profits afterwards. However, the vendor is counting paper money, whereas
  Homer would have had to pay him with the coins he was given from passers by
  which pretty much scratches that theory -- Ed.]

= The towers of the World Trade Center do not face each other.  Rather, 
  they are like this: H
                        H  {th}

* The windows in the towers don't open, either. {jr}

= The toilets in Flushing Meadows are arranged around him better in the top
  view than in the side view. {pjr}

* There are restrooms in the World Trade Center Mall plaza below the complex;
  there's no need to go to the top and pay admission.  Also, there is no
  observation deck in the other tower, and anyone can't just ride the elevator
  up to the top. {jr}

* How did Bart light those fireworks?  {ol}

= In the place where they make Mad Magazines there is a room where lots of
  "crazy stuff" happens.  The problem is there is a corridor there when we
  see it from the outside! {jv}

* You couldn't REALLY get a Denver Boot off like that (nitpicking). {dsb}

= Homer's airbag disappears after he gets back in the car. {pjr}

= When scanning the car radio, Homer drives the booted car for quite a
  while without it bouncing. {dk}

* There is no 4th Avenue in Manhattan, its place taken by Park. {th}
  [Dave Stein says, "There is a 4th Avenue in Manhattan, running from 8th
  Street to 14th Street.  North of there, it becomes Park Avenue South, then
  Park Avenue.  Unfortunately, I don't remember the specific moment in the
  episode, so I don't know if this fact is relevant to it or not.  But as
  a Manhattanite - who loved this particular episode, I wanted to make
  that clear," --hmw.]

= Bart's wristwatch appears out of nowhere, and then disappears just 
  as suddenly. {pjr}

= The X where the actor stands on for the Broadway play disappears. {dk}

= The doctors in the play get the robe on the actor without him raising his
  arms. {dk}

= Homer's radio has "530" twice on the AM dial - and the vast majority
  of cars made when 8-tracks were "in vogue" have radios with AM dials
  starting at 540.  {ddg}

= The green car behind Homer is obviously an AMC Gremlin, but it doesn't have
  AMC-style sideways door handles.  {bc}

= The air freshener was missing from the car's lighter after Homer kicks in
  the 8 track in the car.  {vc}

= Homer's car appears to go through the man who was eating a picnic.  Also
  it appears to go through the horse`s feet. {jv}

* After the bombing of the New York Tower, Homer's car would have been towed
  within minutes.  {hl}

= In the final scene there is no garbage coming out of the van like there
  was a second ago. {jv}

==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Dale G. Abersold: The proverbial good Homer episode.  Ian Maxtone-Graham is
   able to make Homer very funny without making him a jerk or outrageously
   stupid.  Good for him! There are too many less-funny tangents, however,
   particularly in the travels of Marge and the kids. (B+)

Jesse D. Bergheimer: How refreshing to see a hilarious, plotless episode of
   OFF once again! I laughed from the beginning to almost the very end.
   Homer rarely has gotten the controlling factor of the show lately, where
   the episodes have been focusing on the kids and/or Marge, but this one
   focused on Homer in all of his most irrational and ignorant qualities,
   which make the show so much fun to watch. The ending was rather boring,
   especially with the cliche Sinatra song. It was as anti-climactic as a
   typical Simpsons episode gets, but then again, they all seem to end on a
   sour note. (A-)

Donnie-Saphire Bernstein: Maybe the summer made me hungrier for the Simpsons
   than ever before, but DAMN this was a good episode. They didn't linger on
   the FFFs too long, almost everything was funny and well-timed, and it had
   that perfect blend of lunacy and believability that makes the Simpsons so
   great. Talk about recovering well from a weak plot! The whole "Young Homer
   goes to New York in silent movie" thing was hilarious, as well as Bart
   yelling at the immigrants, the Betty Ford show "Kickin' It," Bart at Mad
   Magazine, etc. I know some people thing my reviews are too optimistic, but
   I really thought this was a great episode. (A-) (the story WAS
   stupid, after all)

Alex Byrnes: I really liked this episode!  It was a pleasant change from last
   year. The show is getting back to its basics of 2 or 3 years ago. The jokes
   were fresher and funnier.  The Duff bus killed me as did Homer's home made
   car.  The show isn't as funny as it used to, but it is getting there. (B+)

Vince Chan: Great start for the ninth season. It was humorous and had one of
   the best plots in all it's history in my opinion. The jokes were funny and
   the references were well done. Great writing by the writers. The episode
   will surely be a classic and will go down in history. This episode was one
   of the few episodes that I laughed out loud. I can't see how this episode
   could be made any better. (A)

Ben Collins: I'm glad the Oakley-Weinstein era is almost over. Homer the
   retarded jackass [writer Ian Maxtone-Graham's favorite; see 4F05] is back
   and more irritating than ever. They spend way too long on the tedious
   bathroom gag and other small embarrassments to the name Groening. The
   scenes with the rest of the family (Bart's subway antics and the soon-to-
   be-classic Betty Ford musical), and that classic Simpsons social
   commentary provide much-needed relief. Kudos to Mr. Graham for not falling
   for his obvious urge to make Homer forget how to use the restroom.
   (C+)

Chris Courtois: "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson" got the 9th season
   off to a weak start. While the episode shared the "Simpsons-take-a-trip-
   and-satirize-the-locals" structure of "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington" [8F01]
   and "Bart vs. Australia" [2F13], at least 8F01 had a storyline to support
   the gags, and 2F13 had decent jokes. 4F22 seemed to be 22 minutes of
   variations on "New York City is a dirty, crime-ridden cesspool infested
   with rude and crazy people". This theme was enough to carry the admittedly
   funny Young Homer flashback, but wore thin by show's end. And Homer was
   just too much of an idiot, descending to Season 6 levels of stupidity.
   This was a season 8 leftover, so I'm not worried yet about kicking the
   season off with a... (C+)

Andrew Field: Eh, I dunno about this one.  The DuffMan, the whole Barney's
   hallucination, the whole bar scene is funny, but from the point OFF gets
   into NY, it just sucks.  Especially the part where Homer gets the ticket
   again.  The "Can't feel my legs" joke was pretty lame, too. (C-)

Andrew Gill: The season premier was veory good for what I was expecting.
   I mean, Barney parks the car between the WTC, Homer picks it up, baddabing
   baddabang, we're done.  I was expecting a lackluster ep, but I got a
   pretty good one, instead. (B-)

Timothy Goddard: After a very long summer of watching the show in
   syndication, I was elated to see such a great new episode.  Homer's
   stupidity was showcased in brilliant fashion, highlighted by the flashback
   to his first trip to New York, and by that wonderful scene in which he had
   to wait by his car for the city official to show up.  Adding to the
   episode's humor were the pervasive, sly one-liners ["That's what they do
   in Russia"] and the highly comical situation that ensues after Barney is
   forced to be the designated driver.  An amazing start to the season. (A)

Don Del Grande: Not a "bad" episode, by any means, but there weren't really
   any "laugh out loud" scenes, especially at the end. (B)

Tony Hill: This was a fairly whacky and whimsical episode.  It was good as
   both a regular OFF episode and a season opener.  The many stabs at New
   York City were fun to watch.  At least we finally learned that Capital
   City isn't NYC. (A)

Diego Kontarovsky: Just like last season, this one started out spectacularly!
   Never a dull moment!  This episode will go down in history with the rest of
   the greats.  I loved it. (A+)

Haynes Lee: Well, all I am saying is that this would have made a hell of
   a better season finale than "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson." (A)

Ondre Lombard: Well, The Simpsons crawls into another year with yet another
   yawner. I'd say I didn't see any evidence of thought being put into a
   substantial plot here.  I perceive this episode as "Homer makes a jackass
   out of himself in the Big Apple," a situation that could be applied to any
   other big city. [I pray they don't pick on Los Angeles].  This episode has
   a rather cartoony feel. Examples: Homer tosses what I estimate to be about
   $30, his credit cards, driver's license, baby pictures and identification
   into a roaring fire, and obviously retains it in the next scenes; Homer
   contorting his face unusually after eating the Khlau Kalash; Homer's super
   rapid dash from one building to another's top floor; The unreal MAD
   characters doing nonsense in that office; Homer's weird New York flashback.
   And the sloppy, shoddy job done on drawing the skyscrapers was the icing on
   the cake.  The other scenes with the rest of the family seem like time
   filler, or in another way, just something occupational for the rest of the
   family to do.  And, incidentally, Homer's potty emergency had a strong
   whiff of "22 Short Films About Springfield." A few mild chuckles, maybe
   two guffaws but the bottom line?  It wasn't funny, it wasn't intriguing, it
   wasn't solid, it was just -- there. (D-)

Michael K. Neylon: 4F22 was bland, and lacked little to laugh at - even with
   the contrived plot, there were plenty of opportunities for jokes that were
   missed.  Homer was blazingly out of character, unless you prefer the idiot
   version of Homer, and the rest of the family, with much potential with NYC
   jokes, took a backseat to Homer's antics.  The age of the show is definitely
   showing, and seems to be lacking an overall QA manager. (D+)

Jamey Powell: Great episode. I laughed out loud several times. My favorite
   scenes are Bart panhandling, Homer throwing his wallet into the fireplace,
   Homer trying to build a new car, and the flashback scene. The part where
   Bart goes to the Mad office, Barney freaking out since he's the DD and
   the immigrant scene were pretty good, too. Fortunately, there were no
   jokes that were bad enough for me to list them as such. I couldn't help
   but notice that there was an unusual number of "Homer making a complete
   ass of himself" scenes. While I usually don't like it when an episode
   focuses on one thing too much, I also thought that said scenes were good
   enough to make up for it. (B+)

Phil J. Reed: Two words - thank God.  I will be the first to admit that I was
   more than a little scared that this season would not be so good, and all I
   can say is that I was happily proven wrong.  One of the best non-
   Swartzwelder episodes in a while.  I giggled all through this episode,
   broken only by louder laughter.  Very sweet.  Homer was at his 
   buffoonish best, and aside from the musical and the MAD sequence, I have
   no complaints.  Please let this be a sign of things to come. (B+)

Mark Richey: Rather weak outing sends OFF to a surprisingly dull trip to New
   York City.  Homer spends the day fuming at the city's traffic department at
   the World Trade Center, while the others take a rather predictable trip to
   all the touristy highlights [though, as one who has also taken the "New York
   in eight hours tour", I'm surprised that they were able to see so much].
   The musical and Homer's fantasy was great, but the for the most part, a
   disappointing beginning to season 9.  At least it happened six weeks
   earlier than last year. (C)

Benjamin Robinson: The ninth season premiere shares more than just a
   location with "Seinfeld"; it also picks up that series' propensity for
   minimalist plots.  Homer's travails with the New York Parking Authority
   were the highlight of the shows, as was the detailed animation.  The rest
   of the family's adventure wasn't as memorable, but I enjoyed it
   nevertheless. (B)

Matt Rose: A promising beginning to what will hopefully mark a return to
   greatness....nothing seemed forced down our throats like much of last year's
   nor did anyone seem completely out of character. What I like the most is the
   return of subtlety - everything always works better if you have to think
   about it for awhile or have to look for it - I had to watch the episode a
   couple times to get everything (which is the way it should be!!).  I did
   like this somewhat ridiculous plot idea, although I'm a little disappointed
   that Barney wasn't involved more - but seeing him not drinking at Moe's was
   an amusing thing to see. I thought the "Flushing Meadows" thing was cute. I
   will express my distaste for the musical number though; I hope we aren't
   going to have to sit through a musical number every single episode like it
   seemed we did last year. Not quite deserving of an 'A'. (B/B+)

Joseph Saucedo:  This is not one of the better episodes and this ranks
   close to the bottom when it comes to season openers.  The Flushing Meadows
   daydream sequence was funny but the entire bathroom sequence as a whole was
   too long.  Barney's irresponsibility is typical but funny as always.  A
   disappointment, but still by far the best show on television. (C)

David Vance: This episode was good, but it didn't live up to season premiere
   hype. Some better parts were Homer throwing his wallet into the fire, and
   his paranoia about the weirdos after dark. Flushing meadows was definitely
   one of the weirder moments in Simpsons history. I think this episode
   deserves a... (B+)

Terry Yocham: Ups - Barney's seeming to go through alcholic's Hell was pretty 
   funny [oh the torture!], Great New-Yorker gags and Maggie makes a sound!
   [she yawned].  Downs - How worn out is that "Cranky New Yorker" thing.
   Ditto on the bathroom gags. Those were pretty predictable. (B+)

Werner Peeters: Splendid opening scene [I liked the Yello music]. I didn't
   like the scenes too much though where Marge and the kids wander through NY
   - it looked more like a touristic flyer to me. Homer saved the show though
   for me: the Flushing Meadows joke and all the mayhem Homer causes because
   of his wheel block were just nice. (B-)

Terry Yocham: Barney's seeming to go through alcholic's Hell was pretty
   funny (oh the torture!), Great New-Yorker gags and Maggie makes a sound!
   [she yawned]. Bad things were how worn out is that "Cranky New Yorker"
   thing.  Ditto on the bathroom gags. Those were pretty predictable. (B+)

Yours truly: Fair. A few great one-liners, and a pretty good plot. Still felt
   brief and empty, though. (C+)

==============================================================================
> Comments and other Observations
==============================================================================
>> Deteriorating, Graham?

Ondre Lombard: This is Ian Maxtone Graham's second episode.  His first,
   "Burns, Baby Burns" seemed to have received average or negative reviews.
   Myself, I find "Burns, Baby Burns" to be better than The City of New York.


>> Heyyyy Macarena!

Ondre Lombard: The Macarena is a dance song that gained wide popularity at
   the end of 1995. It was originally sung by Los Del Rio, entirely in
   Spanish. Then remixes came.  The song, I believe, is about a stripper.
   The song's dance consists of waving your arms around and laying them on
   parts of your body in a uniform motion.  By the time it was a full-fledge
   trend, everyone and everywhere you could find people referencing or doing
   the Macarena. Fortunately, this somewhat annoying trend died down early in
   1997.
  

>> Funny 'cause it's true

Ondre Lombard: Although Lisa is uncharacteristically materialistic in this
   episode, it is rather true that girls get carried away with staring at
   shoes.  Myself, I've waited around forever, nonplussed behind why it is
   my Mom can stare at shoes in a window forever.


>> Chinese Fire Drill

Andrew Gill: According to my parents, this is a term for a crazy college
   activity. It entails stopping at a red light, getting out of your vehicle
   and getting back in.

John C. Hallyburton Jr.: The key point missing here is that everybody gets
   out of the car and runs (once) around it, then gets back in the same seats.


>> No Parking at Any Time, Part I

Benjamin Robinson: New York City's East River is notorious as the dumping
   "ground" for people rubbed out by the Mob.  It's also the destination for
   other, less clandestine junk and waste.  So, the Parking Authority (or
   Parking Czar, or whoever enforces the parking laws in the Big Apple)
   made a good choice when they threatened to dump Homer's car there.
  

>> No Parking at Any Time, Part II 

Benjamin Robinson: Bad as things looked, Homer got off lightly when he
   tried to drive away with the boot.  One police department, when they got
   the device, made a film demonstrating what would happen to any member of
   the motoring public foolish enough to drive away with it still attached.
   The police clamped the boot on some old junker, and towed the car.
   The whole front end wasn't just damaged:  it disintegrated in a
   spectacular display of flying metal.
  

>> Car Watch Extravaganza

Benjamin Robinson: As anyone who has tried to park there knows, New York
   is an extremely car-intensive city.  I was hoping for a lot of
   recognizable cars, and I wasn't disappointed.  Here's what I was able to
   identify:
   - during Homer's flashback we see a number of 70's vintage iron,
     starting with the Checker Cab -- THE automotive symbol of New York
   - orange Chevy Nova with white top, made between 1968 and 1972
   - dark green Cadillac convertible, circa 1968
   - large GM station wagon, from 1973 to 1976.  The taillights suggest    
     it's a Pontiac Bonneville
   - most of the cabs and police cars in modern-day Manhattan are
     Chevrolet Caprices, just like in real life.  The cab Homer gets in
     looks like a Caprice from the back, but a Ford Crown Victoria from
     the front. 
   - as Homer rides to the World Trade Center, one of the cars in
     traffic appears to be a late-model Cadillac sedan, in burnt sienna.
     (At least, the roofline looks like a late-model Caddy)
   - that looks like a Mack truck behind Homer when he stops to
     jackhammer the boot off his car.  (Don't confuse this with the truck
     following him as he drives with the boot; that's a generic
     Powell-motors sort of truck)


>> Pfff... Maps

Don Del Grande: Technically, Marge was right when she said "Only in New
   York" is "Little Italy" near "Chinatown"; for those of you who said "San
   Francisco", trust the son of two San Francisco-born and raised
   Italians that you NEVER call North Beach "Little Italy".


>> Mmmm... flight controls...

Don Del Grande: Homer's radio can probably pick up aircraft radio traffic,
   since the FM band on his radio goes up to 109 (FM stops at 108, or at least
   it used to).


>> Stupid Eyes

Don Del Grande: When the family is leaving, the cables on the bridge make
   it look like the car is going backwards.

Christopher Hoppe: (in response to the above comment) I'm not sure, I'll have
   to watch the tape again, but it looked like they're crossing the wrong
   river.  If the camera is panning in the direction of the Simpson's car and
   they're crossing the Hudson then you should see the Twin Towers or at least
   some water between Jersey and Manhatten.  I don't see why they would want
   to go to Long Island.  Jeez, I don't even want to go home to Long Island
   for Thanksgiving.


>> How did Homer get the keys to his car?

Diego Kontarovsky: Now, the door seemed to be unlocked, and Homer got it
   started pretty quickly, implying that the keys were already in the
   ignition.  But we all know that a car can't be left alone for 2 seconds
   without it being stolen [5 seconds if you haven't left the keys in it],
   so are we to believe that Barney gave Homer the keys before he set off
   for New York? I doubt it; Barney probably has to hotwire his OWN car
   every morning.


>> Villanova vs a street corner

Mike Quinn: Villanova University is a private, Catholic college located
   about 15 miles west of Philadelphia, PA (the greatest city in America)
   that offers degree programs in engineering, nursing and business. Some
   famous graduates include singer/songwriter Jim Croce and ex-Oakland
   Raider Howie Long.  Villanova, itself, is probably best known 
   outside of the Philadelphia area for its Division 1 NCAA Basketball
   team, which won the national championship in 1985.  In the 
   Philadelphia area, Villanova is known for its high academic 
   standards and for students that drink and party a lot (some of them
   end up on street corners after parties).  Recently, the university
   administrators were in the national spotlight when they banned Cliffs
   Notes from school bookstore because they encourage cheating. It doesn't
   really matter because there is a commercial bookstore up the road
   that does in fact sell Cliffs Notes, so any student that wants them 
   can still get them.  Also, I've heard rumors that Matt Groening 
   attended Villanova at some point in the past (I don't know if it's 
   true but that's what I heard).
   The theory here on campus is that while
   4F22 was being written, Villanova was in the news about the whole ban
   of Cliffs Notes in the bookstore on campus (also there were about a
   week's worth of jokes about it on the Tonight Show).  The administrators
   felt that these so-called summaries encourage cheating and they are right.
   However, there is a commercial bookstore half a mile up the street that
   sells Cliffs Notes, so anyone who wants them can still get them (I'm an
   engineering major, so none of this really affects me).  Villanova was in
   the news so the writers used it.  Barney would probably be a better
   lecturer than some of the ones we have and some of the classes that I've
   taken are almost like standing on a street corner.


>> The CHUDS

Martin Fisher: In Homer's recollection of his first trip to New York City,
   he falls into the sewers and says how the "Chuds got to him."  Marge
   then says how you, "can't judge New York on it's Pimps and Chuds."
   Chuds stand for Canibalistic Huminoid Underground Dwellers, a B-Movie
   from the 1980's.  It was horrible and mostly seen on Cinemax and other
   channels of the same quality.


>> Mad for it

Joe Klemm: In the latest issue of Mad Magazine (326), in the border of
   comical scenes is a scene where Bart is outside of the Mad office and
   the Mad Magazine bird. It is in between the scene of a U.S. plane
   crashing into the plane in the film Con Air and a scene where the Grim
   Reaper holds the Nike logo. I wonder if Mad knew about that scene since
   many of their characters appeared in it.


>> Eastern Food! Get your eastern food!

Shahram: Obviously they were trying to get some kinda middle-eastern gag
   out of the "Khal-Khalash" bit.    But AFAIK, Khal-Khalash is not any
   kind of middle eastern food. It appears to be a kabob on a stick [which
   are quite good!]- it would simply be a piece of marinated beef tenderloin
   that gets grilled over charcoal.  As for the crab juice - Thats definitely
   fiction.
   Incidentally, this would mark the second inroad into gags involving middle 
   eastern foods.  The first was the fleet-a-pita where I believe they had 
   some kind of falafel sandwich gag going [BTW, falafels are also very tasty].


>> The Globetrotters

Mark Richey: In the couch gag, OFF comes out like the Globetrotters, a
   legendary basketball team that is as concerned with making the audience
   laugh as it is winning (it usually does both).


>> New York, New York

Mark Richey: Homer's first trip to New York-happened around 1975 or so.
   The porno movie titles were takeoffs on real movies from about that time,
   NYC did have a huge crime problem, pimps in blaxpoitation films dressed
   like that, and Woody Allen [the guy dumping the garbage] lived there, 
   pre-Mia.  Plus, the music was from "The Sting".


>> The rappin' rabbis!

Mark Richey: Hasidic Jews-ultra-Orthodox Jews, mostly living in New York
   City, who follow every letter of Jewish law laid down by Moses and God.
   Many of them work with jewelry [hence the Diamond Exchange building in the 
   background].  For a good book about them, read "My Name in Asher Lev".
   For a bad movie about them, rent "A Stranger Among Us".


>> Mountain Dew

Mark Richey: A disgusting [IMHO] citrus drink loaded with lots and lots of
   caffeine.


>> Crab juice -- truth or fiction?

Doc Quack: Oh, it exists all right! I can tell that you've never gone
   crabbing!   You tie a piece of meat to a net type basket, drop it in the
   water, wait a short time, then pull it up and dump the crab in a holding
   tank.  Like lobster, you never cook and eat a dead crab.
   Every so often, you'll run into a feisty crab that is more than willing to
   fight to stay alive, and will go into attack mode, standing on tip-toes,
   claws open and stretched out...  You can threaten them and they'll spit
   juice at you. It doesn't have a very nice smell, and I cannot imagine
   anyone drinking it. Luckily, boiling a crab removes the juice, and they
   are quite tasty.


>> Everything is Beautiful

Tony Hill: "Everything Is Beautiful" was a number one hit in 1970 for
   satirist [as opposed to parodist] Ray Stevens, who was mentioned in "Two
   Dozen and One Greyhounds."


>> Where is Springfield?

Tony Hill: If Homer had to bus to NYC to catch a train to Harrisburg, Pa.,
   that would suggest that Springfield is in New York or New England.  OFF
   exited Manhattan via one of the bridges to Long Island, and that could
   only mean that Springfield is there, unless Homer planned to cross two
   extra toll bridges to get out of NYC.  The transferring twice in Atlanta
   was a stupid gag.


>> Narcotic References Explained

Gabbo [gabbofan@geocities.com]: Tonight's episode had an inordinant amount
   of narcotic references. First of all, in the Betty Ford Clinic musical,
   Demoral addiction was talked about.  Demoral is the brand name for
   Meperidine, a semi-synthetic narcotic similar in strength to hydrocodone
   or oxycodone.  Next, when Bart got off the elevator to on the MAD magazine
   floor, the entire elevator went to the only other place on that floor
   for Methadone treatment.  No doubt this was to make fun of the drug
   dependancy of all of New York, especially since most of the citizens
   looked to be well dressed business men.  Methadone is used as a
   treatment to addiction to several narcotic drugs.  Itself, a synthetic
   narcotic, it was originally used as a substitute for morphine (a natural
   narcotic) in addicts many years ago. Today it is primarily used as a
   substitute for heroin (a semi-synthetic narcotic).


>> Famous Rays Pizza

Eric Stein: The pizza shop that Homer was trying to reach for was called
   "Famous Ray's Pizza." There is (or was) actually a pizza restaurant in
   NYC named this, which was in the news a few years back for being tied
   to organized crime. As a matter of fact, there's also a Ray's Pizza
   (from New York) in the Phoenix area, but I don't know if they are
   affiliated with each other.

Charles Don Hall: The joke here is that there are a lot of pizza joints
   in New York that are named "Original Famous Ray's" or some variation
   thereof. They're not affiliated at all. It's just sort of a tradition;
   apparently no one knows how it got started or who "Ray" was.


>> New York Jests... er, Jets

Benjamin Robinson: In "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson (4F22),"
   there is a sign on the subway that reads, "Can you throw a football?
   Call the New York Jets today!" (Alas, the sign is partially obscured by
   Marge's hair, so you have to do some extrapolation to figure out what
   it's saying.) At the time "City of New York" was written, the Jest, er
   Jets were a national joke.  Today, they not only have a winning record,
   but they've won the division title.
   The conclusion is self-evident.  If you want your football team to do
   well, hope that they become the butt of a joke on "The Simpsons."


>> The Verri... Verriz... Verronz... bah...

Gdeag97@aol.com: Marge, Bart and Lisa were riding the A train, and at the
   end of the episode the crossed a bride that was most likely the
   Verrizono.


>> Ratings, Ratings!

Ondre Lombard: The Simpsons was up +23% in the ratings in the Adults Aged
   18-49 demographic in comparison to the 96-97 season.  The premiere of
   "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson" was up +2% in rating (10.7) and
   +16% in shares (17.44) in comparison to last season's premiere (in terms
   of the Adults 18-49 age demographic).  This year: 8.6/22.  Last year:
   8.4/19.  The Simpsons delivered its highest share in the A18-49
   demographic since September 17th, 1995, and its highest A18-49 rating
   since January 12th, 1997.

   A brief little note from myself: I suspect this is because most of the
   networks were rerunning while Fox and CBS were the only two networks airing
   premieres.  Last season, The Simpsons had returned so late that everything
   else was new and the competition was stiffer.

   King of the Hill's second season premiere outdid its entire 96-97
   season average.  +8% in rating and +11% in share among Adults 18-49 (8.4/10
   vs. 7.8/18) and +14% in general Households.  (10.5/16 vs. 9.2/14).  If this
   keeps up (and it possibly will, if ABC and CBS don't stiffen the
   competition--NBC has already given Sunday night to every network besides the
   WB), it looks like it will be a good year for KotH and The Simpsons.  The
   Simpsons seems to be on a serious rebound from the slip it suffered ever
   since the fifth season.


- Translation of the signs in China Town (in order of appearance) {vc}
   - Buddha
   - Prosperity comes to your house
   - China Town, Restaurant
   - Palm Reading
   - Herbal Store
   - Wing Hing's Grocery Store
   - Vegetable Store
   - Meat Store
   - Fireworks
   - Firework Street

- Musical references  {ol}
   - Harlem Globetrotters "Sweet Georgia Brown" theme
   - "Oh Yeah" by Mello Yello as Duffman arrives {bjr}
   - the drunks try to sing "Macarena" by Los Del Rio {hw}
   - "Everything is Beautiful" by Ray Stevens as Homer drives through
     Manhattan
   - the piano theme from the movie The Sting
   - New Kids on The Block (see MAD)
   - ZZ Top
   - that Tony Bennett New York song.
   - The "New York, New York" track was sung by studio singer Michael Dees.

==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary  {hw}, {nh}, {bjr}
==============================================================================
[syndication marks are noted in {curly brackets} -- as observed by {hl}]

% Moe Szyslak, bartender of Moe's Bar, checks his watch. It's just about time
% for the evening rush. He grabs a broomstick and thuds the floor, to get rid
% of the rats that infest his cabinets and floor. Just after the rats clear
% off, Homer and his associates - Lenny, Carl, two barflies - enter.

 Homer: Evening, Moe.
Barney: [walks out the men's room wearing a bathrobe and brushing his teeth]
        Morning Moe.
-- Ah, I just don't know anymore, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

Yeah, all right. Listen up, guys. The Springfield Police have told me that
ninety one percent of all traffic accidents are causes by you six guys.
-- Moe, talking to his barflies, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% The barflies celebrate, but the celebration is cut off soon enough. "Yeah,
% I know, I know.  The bad news is we're gonna have to start having designated
% drivers," concludes Moe. The barflies moan.

We'll choose the same way they pick the pope. [Moe reaches under the table for
a large jar of pickled eggs] Everyone reach in a draw a pickled egg. Whoever
gets the black egg stays sober tonight.
-- Moe choosing a designated driver, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Each barfly draws a pickled egg. Last is Barney, who slowly unwraps his
% fingers revealing the black egg. He screams at the top of his lungs, and in
% rage, crushes the egg in his hand.

You got the black one.
-- Homer Simpson stating the obvious, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Later into the night, the denizens of the bar are drunk out of their minds.
% Homer is being carried around in his underwear. Everyone is having a great
% time - except Barney, who is sitting the remainder of the night alone.

Look at me! I'm Peter Pantsless!
-- Homer Simpson, being carried around in his underwear at Moe's, "The City
Of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Barney sits on his own, munching on peanuts, shaking all the way. In the
% distance, party music can be heard. It gets louder. Barney seems to know
% what it is, praying to God - not tonight. The Duff Partymobile parks
% outside Moe's, and two cheerleaders clear the entrance for Duffman.

Hey look, it's Duffman; the guy in a costume that creates awareness of Duff!
-- Lenny, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

Duffman wants to party down with the man that sent 10,000 Duff labels for me
to be here tonight.
-- Duffman, on Barney Gumble, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Duffman has a large mug of Duff in store for Barney. It is presented. The
% small crowd in Moe's begin chanting "Chug! Chug!", but Barney reminds them
% he's the designated driver.
% Later that evening, Barney is driving Homer, Lenny and Carl back to their
% homes. The three drunks give their best shot at singing "Macarena".

Barney: Please, I'm trying to drive!
 Lenny: Hey, let's go to the girls college!
  Carl: No! Playboy Mansion, Playboy Mansion!
 Homer: It's my car, and I say we're going to the Lost City of Gold!
Barney: [angry] Oh, that's just drunk talk!  [dreamy] Sweet, beautiful drunk
        talk...
-- "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Barney drops off Homer at his house. Homer warns him to bring the car back
% tomorrow [just slip it under the door]. Barney agrees [with a plan up his
% sleeve, as we can here in his voice], and drives away, as Homer stumbles to
% his front door, opens it, and slumps to the ground.

% Two months later, Homer is stood outside Moe's [with Moe], pinning up posters
% declaring his car missing.

   Moe: Face it Homer, the car is gone. Barney ain't never coming back.
        [a limo pulls up]
Driver: Here we are, Mr. Gumble.
-- Uh... I meant Barney Rubble, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Homer immediately confronts Barney about his car, as the limo drives away.

All I can remember about the last two months is giving a guest lecture at
Villanova. Or maybe that was a street corner...
-- Barney, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% With no knowledge of his vehicle's whereabouts, Homer scolds Barney. "I
% ought to punch you in the nose!  But I have to pick my kids up at school"
% he says, as he sets off -- on a scooter.

% Later on, Homer is constructing a replacement for his previous car. It's
% basically a car, only it consists of torches, a mattress, and various other
% oddities. Homer rolls on a fourth tyre.

Marge: Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself.
Homer: Marge, you can stand there finding faults or you can knit me some
       seatbelts.
Marge: Sorry, sorry. [Marge starts work on some seatbelts, cheerfully]
-- That's my girl, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

 Lisa: Dad, you got a letter from the city of New York!
Homer: Pfft. Throw it away. Nothing good has ever came out of New York City.
-- "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Ignoring Homer's not-wanting-the-letter, Lisa reads it for him. The opening
% line mentions Homer's vehicle, sparking an interest after all.

 Lisa: Dear motorist, your vehicle is illegally parked in the burrow of
       Manhattan.
Homer: My vehicle!
 Lisa: If you do not remedy this malparkage within 72 hours, your car
       will be thrown into the East River at your expense.
-- A fair punishment, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Homer pleads he doesn't want to go.

New York is a hellhole. And you know how I feel about hellholes!
-- Homer, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

Lisa: Dad, you can't judge a place you've never been to.
Bart: Yeah, that's what people do in Russia.
-- Let's not forget Czechoslovakia, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

[sigh] It's about time I told you about a chapter of my life that I had hoped
would be closed forever. I was on my way to the Harrisburg coat outlet to buy
an irregular coat. [grimly] But it required a stop over in New York City.
-- Homer Simpson, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Begin flashback...
% Young Homer is in New York City. Trusting a stranger with his camera, Homer
% has his photo taken. The guy takes the photograph -- and the camera. Homer
% explains to a police officer what happened. The police officer looks
% reassuringly concerned, but grabs Homer's suitcase and runs away with it.
% Homer notices an electronic marquee announcing "Crime is up 8,000,000
% percent" [that WOULD explain a lot]. Someone nabs his wallet, and a bird
% swoops down only to take Homer's hotdog. A man, from his window, empties
% a bag of garbage out of his window; no prizes for guessing who it lands on.
% Homer takes a banana peel from his face, and tosses it behind him. It hits
% a Huggy-Bear type pimp, who chases Homer, who finally finds a ladder --
% that goes down a manhole.
% ... end flashback.

% The Simpsons - minus Homer - would love to go to NYC. Upon learning the
% trip would cost only nine dollars, Bart offers to pay.

Marge: Great! We're all going to New York!
Homer: Lousy Bart with his money. All right New York! I'm coming back! But
       you're not getting this! [Homer grabs his wallet and tosses it into
       the fireplace]
 Lisa: Dad, our baby pictures were in there.
Homer: Don't you start!
-- "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

[End of Act One.  Time: 6:38]

% OFF are in the coach on the way to NYC. They awaken from their naps.

Bart: That took too long! How come we had to transfer in Atlanta twice?
Lisa: I say we should have paid the extra $1.50 and gotten a bus with
      restrooms.
-- Hmmm. I'd rather have the $1.50, "The City of New York Vs. Homer
Simpson"

% Homer wakes up, and puts his hands on his legs, but can't seem to feel
% them. They're the legs of Wadlow, the very tall man behind Homer who
% stands up, bends over and glares at Homer, angrily.  New York, here we
% are!

[excited] Wow, I feel like such a nobody!
-- Marge, entering New York City, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

It's wall-to-wall landmarks! The Williamsburg bridge! 4th Avenue!
Governor's island!
-- Marge, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Bart, however, spots two rabbi's walking a long. He assumes it's the
% Eighties group ZZ Top.

 Bart: Look. It's ZZ Top! You guys rock!
Rabbi: Eh, maybe a little.
-- "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% OFF arrive at the station, and get out the bus.

Homer: Now remember, criminals prey on small town folk like us. So if
       anybody asks, we're sophisticated millionaires from the Ozarks.
Marge: Homer, you're scaring the children.
-- Halloween special early this season? "The City of New York Vs. Homer
Simpson"

Homer: Good! I don't want to spend one extra second in this urban death
       maze. You stay here at the bus station while a pick up the car.
Marge: The bus station is just ONE of the sites we came to see. We'll meet
       you at central park at five o'clock.
Homer: Oh, all right. But not a minute later cause when the sun goes down
       all the weirdos turn crazy.
-- "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Homer gets into a cab, and wastes no time.

I'm onto you!
-- Homer spots an average Joe in the street, "The City of New York Vs.
Homer Simpson"

% Homer arrives at the World Trade Plaza. He spots his car, the windshield
% buried beneath dozens of parking tickets.

Aaaaaagh! [notices a sign -- `No Screaming. $50 Fine'] [quietly] Aaagh!
-- Homer, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"
 
% Meanwhile, the rest of the family are in the Statue of Liberty, looking
% down at a great view. An immigrants boat sails on the waters, approaching
% the big apple.

Wow, Governor's Island looks so insignificant from up here...
-- Marge looking down from the Statue of Liberty, "The City of New York Vs.
Homer Simpson"

  Bart: Hey, immigrants! Beat it! Country's full!
Sailor: OK people, you heard the lady. Back into the hold. We'll try Canada.
        [the immigrants moan]
-- "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Back to Homer. Homer is waiting by his car, impatiently. {He notices the
% clamp on his wheel. He attempts to take it off by hand, and then by
% teeth when he has no success.}

  Guy in Tower: {Hey when you're done with that, I've got something up here
                you can bite off!}
Guy in Tower 2: {Hey why don't you be polite you stinking puss bag?!  [to
                Homer] Pal, you gotta call the number on the boot.  Sorry
                about that guy. They stick all the jerks in Tower one.}
  Man in Tower: {That's it! I'm coming over there.}
                {[they yell at each other until a third guy - in a higher
                floor in tower 1 - has a voice which is louder than both]}
     Other Guy: {SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YA'S!!!}
-- Life in New York, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Homer phones the number on the boot at a nearby phone booth. He gets
% an automatic-answer.

           Voice: Thank you for calling the parking violations bureau. To
                  plea `not guilty,' press `one' now.
                  [Homer dials `one']
                  Thank you. Your plea has been...
Male rough voice: [the man's voice is gruff] Rejected.
Convenient voice: You will be assessed the full fine plus a small...
Male rough voice: Large lateness fee.
           Voice: Please wait by your vehicle between 9 AM and 5 PM for
                  parking officer Steve...
Male rough voice: Grabowski.
-- And don't you forget it, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

They expect me to sit here from nine to five? That's how many hours? [Homer
checks his wrist watch] ten, eleven, denominator, er... Where's Lisa when you
need her?!
-- Homer the genius, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Except Homer, the Simpsons are travelling via the subway. Lisa is talking
% to a bum.

Lisa: Here's a better idea. You give me your address and I'll write to you.
 Bum: OK.  Send it to Jesus, uh, care of the Pentagon.
-- Which `the Pentagon' are we talking about here? "The City of New York Vs.
Homer Simpson"

% Marge marvels at advertisements in the subway car, as Bart [in a different
% part of the car] tries to win money via sympathy by demonstrating his lack
% of taste buds by licking a pole.

% Meanwhile, Homer is sat on the ground by his car, impatiently awaiting the
% arrival of Steve Grabowski, the parking officer.

Homer: {Aww, c'mon, pick up the pace!}
       {[a man drops some spare change for Homer]}
       {Hey, I'm not a bum!}
       {[another man walks by and drops Homer some spare change]}
       {Thanks, but I don't need--}
       {[yet another man gives Homer some change]}
       {OK, if you insist...}
       {[another man drops Homer some change. Homer does not thank him, in}
       {delight of what's going on. A woman walks by.]}
       {Spare change, lady?}
       {[the woman walks past Homer, ignoring him.]}
       {Lousy cheapskate.}
-- Times have changed, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% {Homer adds up his change and discovers he has enough to buy a pizza from
% across the road.} He's hungry, but can't leave the car, so he puts his
% foot on the bumper, and stretches as far as he can go, but it is, of
% course, still completely out of reach. He grabs a twig from the ground,
% but is still pretty much the same distance away.  A foreign man, pushing
% a trolley of what sounds like a foreign food, pulls up. The man is
% selling a food called `Klauh Kalesh'. Homer asks the vendor if he could
% go across the road and buy him a slice of pizza, but the vendor
% refuses - he only sells Klauh Kalesh. Homer orders a bowl [a stick, as
% he is corrected], and wolves it down.

 Homer: [licks Klauh Kalesh] That's just awful.
        [soon, Homer has finished the `awful' snack, and is licking the
        stick to get every last morsel.]
-- Absolutely disgusting, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

 Homer: Now what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?
Vendor: Mountain Dew or crab juice.
 Homer: Blecch!  Ew!  Sheesh!  I'll take a crab juice...
-- Good choice, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Homer drinks a can of crab juice. And another. And another. Needing to
% urinate, Homer tries to drain the lizard into a mailbox, but is stopped
% by the mailwoman. The only alternative is the observation deck in the
% tower.

% OFF, minus Homer, are walking through Chinatown, surrounded by China
% reminiscent stores.

Marge: Are we still in Little Italy?
 Lisa: Actually, I think we're in Chinatown now.
Marge: Only in New York!
-- "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Lisa spots some rabbits in a butcher shop's window.

 Lisa: [gasps] Mom, are those rabbits dead?
Marge: No, no, Lisa they're just sleeping, upside down... and inside out...
-- Looking into the butcher window, "The City of New York Vs. Homer
Simpson"

% Marge spots Bart looking closely at the fireworks store across the road.
% Under Marge's order, he puts down a lit firework which starts a chain
% reaction resulting in the bulk of the store's fireworks setting off.

Oh no! Chinese fire drill! Serious this time!
-- the fireworks store owner, when Bart creates a firework chain reaction,
"The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Meanwhile, Homer is waiting by his car, desperate to go to the bathroom.
% He speaks to nobody, and sees a sign on a bus that reads "Flushing
% Meadows," which leads him into a fantasy where he dances through a
% meadow with flushing toilets scattered all over the place.
% Back in reality, Homer can't take the pressure any more. He runs into
% tower one and gets into an elevator, pushing a lady out the way.

How frightfully rude! I do hope someone stabs him in the eye.
-- A New York citizen, upon coming into contact with Homer, "The City of
New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Homer pays the admission, and rushes through to the men's room. But to
% his terror, it is OUT OF ORDER. He gets back in the elevator, goes down
% and runs out tower one and into tower two. He uses the lift to reach
% the bathroom, and finally can urinate in peace. From outside, Homer's
% extremely loud, relieved moans can be heard. He glances from the window
% beside him and sees the parking officer writing another ticket. Nothing
% but bad luck today. Cue the annoyed grunt, which can be heard from all
% around the near distance.

[End of Act Two.  Time: 14:44]

% Homer returns to his car and reads the latest ticket, for $250. The sun
% begins to set.

Oh no... it's getting dark.  That's it! I'm getting out of this town
alive if it kills me!
-- Homer on New York, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"

% Homer gets into the car and accelerates like crazy, until the boot
% scrapes the steel around the wheel off. Homer drives onto the road
% slowly [the boot causes the car to bump up and down, Homer knocking
% his head on the ceiling each time].

% Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa are gazing dreamily into a window filled with
% glamorous shoes.

Lisa:  Look at all those beautiful shoes!  I know they're made from animals
       but WOW!
Marge: Mmmm, If only I didn't already have a pair of shoes.
Bart:  Speaking of shoes, I don't care about shoes.  I'll meet you ladies
       back here in half an hour.
       [the three girls are still looking at the shoes]
Lisa:  OK dad.
Marge: Stay where I can see you honey.
-- "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

% Bart finds the Mad Magazine office, and rushes inside, where there is a
% lone secretary.

Bart:      Excuse me, is this MAD magazine?
Secretary: No, it's Mademoiselle.  We're buying our sign on the
           installment plan.
Bart:      [laughs] Seriously though, my name is Bart Simpson.  My father
           has a subscription.  I'd like the grand tour please.
Secretary: Listen kid, you probably think lots of crazy stuff goes on in
           there, but this is just a place of business.
Bart:      Oh, OK.
           [just as Bart is about to leave, Alfred E. Newman comes out]
Alfred:    Get me Kaputnik and Fonebone.  I want to see their drawings for
           "New Kids on the Blecch!"
           [Bart's jaw drops]
Alfred:    And where's my fershluggen pastrami sandwiches?  [closes door]
Bart:      Wow!  I'll never wash these eyes again!
-- "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

% Back to Homer who is still driving his car with the boot on it.  The boot
% is flinging rocks at a truck which moves in to the other lane.  Because of
% the lack of speed caused by the boot, there is quite a bit of traffic
% behind Homer.  He turns on his radio.  "Everything is Beautiful" is
% playing which annoys Homer further, so he kicks his radio in.

% Meanwhile, Marge and the children are looking at a sign for a Broadway
% musical

Lisa:  Kicking' it: A musical journey through the Betty Ford center.
Marge: You know, when I was a little girl I always dreamed of being in a
       Broadway audience.
-- "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

% So, they go inside, where they are treated to a Broadway musical number.

% On the stage, we see a courtroom set.  All onstage dialog from this point
% is sung.

 Judge:   How do you find the defendant? 
 Juryman: He's guilty of mayhem, exposure indecent.
 Man:     Freaked out behavior both chronic and recent.
 Jury:    Drinking and driving, narcotics possession. 
 Foreman: And that's just page one of his ten page confession!
 Judge:   I should put you away where you can't kill or maim us, but this is
          LA, and you're rich and famous!
          [the stage backdrop swings around to reveal the Betty Ford Center]
Criminal: I'm checking in.
All:      He's checking in.
Criminal: I'm checking in,
All:      Checking, checking In,
Criminal: No more pills or alcohol,
          No more pot or Demerol,
          No more stinking fun at all,
          I'm checking in.
All:      He's checking in, He's checking in.
Doctor:   No more looking pale and thin,
          No more bugs beneath you're skin.
          [interns take his belt and medicine]
Criminal: Hey, that's just my aspirin.
          [more interns put a hospital robe on the criminal]
All:      Chuck it out, you're checking in.
          [Criminal is checked in]
-- He's checkin' in!  "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

% End of song.  Bart and Lisa & Marge are watching.

Bart:  When I grow up, I want to be in the Betty Ford Center.
Marge: You better start saving now.  It's very expensive.
Lisa:  [shushes Marge] They're strapping down Liza Minelli.
-- "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson]

% Homer is still driving his car down the road.  Checking his progress, he
% figures that he'll never meet his deadline unless he gets rid of the
% parking boot.  He sees some construction workers are working on the road,
% and stops his car.

Homer: Ah ha!  I've got it!  Brain, how can I ever thank you?
Brain: Just don't bump me on your way out of the car.
       [Homer gets out of his car, bumping his head on the way out]
Homer: Sorry.
-- "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

% He goes up to a construction worker.  He needs a clever way to get the
% worker away from his post.

Homer:  Hey!  Hey!  HEY!
Worker: What?
Homer:  The boss says you're fired.
Worker: I'll get him!
-- "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

% While the worker is gone, Homer takes his jackhammer and uses it to try
% to pry the boot off his car.  He breaks his windshield, pokes holes in
% the hood and blows up airbag not to mention the radiator starts shooting
% steam and the rear bumper falls off.  He does get the boot off, though.
% He then destroys the boot some more by grinding it with the jackhammer.

Homer one, New York nothing.
-- Homer, "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

% Then Homer steps on the boot causing it to snap on his foot.  He smashes
% it against he front of his car to get it off.  When he does, he closes
% the hood of his car and thanks the other drivers for their patience.  A
% bullet hits a sign above Homer's head, suggesting that the drivers'
% patience might be running a little thin. Back into the car he goes.

% In Central Park, Marge and the children are in a horse drawn carriage.
% Homer is honking his horn, driving through Central Park running over
% picnics and a basketball game.  He catches up to the carriage.

Driver: My God!  That maniac is heading right for us. [to horse] Go
        Secretariat, go!
        [he whips the horse and Homer tries to catch up with it.  He bumps
        his wheel against the carriage so the driver whips him in the eye.
        Bart looks over]
Bart:   Hey, it's dad.  Right on time.
Homer:  We're getting out of here, now! Jump in Marge! Trust me. Throw the
        kids.  No time for the baby.
-- Spur of the moment decisions, "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

% Marge refuses to jump.  Homer swerves in front of the carriage and cuts it
% off forcing it to stop.  He motions everyone to get in.  They all run in to
% the back seat then Homer drives off.  Suddenly, the car returns, and stops.
% A car door opens and Homer kicks out the carriage driver.

% They are driving down the bridge just as the sun sets.  The people in the
% back admire the view.

Lisa:  What a magical city.  Can we come back next year, dad?
       [Homer is hit with garbage that sails through the broken windshield]
Homer: We'll see, honey.  [more garbage] We'll see.
-- And know you know who won the battle of ... "The City of New York
   vs. Homer Simpson"

% [End Of Act Three.  Time:  21:27]
%
% Credits roll over the song, "New York, New York" with the family driving
% home in the car.

==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{af}  Andrew Field
{ag}  Andrew Gill
{bc}  Ben Collins
{br}  Benjamin Robinson
{bs}  Bob Stone
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dk}  Diego Kontarovsky
{dsb} Donnie-Saphire Bernstein
{dtd} Daniel Timothy Dey
{dv}  David Vance
{hl}  Haynes Lee
{jc}  Jeff Cross
{jch} John C. Hallyburton Jr.
{jj}  Jacko Jackoson
{jr}  James (jamesrr@geocities.com)
{jv2} Javier Vera
{jv}  Johnny Veitch
{kh}  Katrina Harris
{mr}  Mark Richey
{mr2} Matt Rose
{os}  Oscark
{ol}  Ondre Lombard
{pjr} Phil J. Reed
{tg}  Tim Gueguen
{th}  Tony Hill
{vc}  Vince Chan

==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
[4F22] capsule copyright 1999, Hari Michael Wierny, and The Simpsons Archive.
(The quotes remain the property of Fox, and the reproduced articles remain the
property of their respective authors. I'm just taking credit for the
compilation.) Not to be redistributed in public forum without the permission
of the author. The Quotes and Scene Summary itself copyright Nicolas Hartley,
Benjamin Robinson, and Hari Michael Wierny.

Sincere thanks go to Benjamin Robinson, who helped me make this capsule the
best it could be, and Frederic Briere, without whom's valuable help, this
capsule would have never been as complete.

Authors note: The Quotes and Scene Summary was a nightmare to put together!
Originally, I wrote a transcript for this episode in 1997, but had to piece
the thing together with parts from Nicolas Hartley and Benjamin Robinson's
versions, too. Today's product is mostly edited and rewritten.