[2F32] 'Round Springfield


'Round Springfield                          Written by Joshua Sternin & Jeffrey
                                          Ventimilia (teleplay) and Al Jean &  
                                                           Mike Reiss (story)  
                                                  Directed by Steven Dean Moore
===============================================================================
Production code: 2F32                       Original airdate in N.A.: 30-Apr-95
                                                  Capsule revision G, 22-Feb-97

Title sequence

Blackboard :- Nerve gas is not a toy.
              Nerve gas is not/ at cutoff.

Lisa's Solo:- The Simpsons' theme, like in seasons two and three.

Couch      :- The family run in, except their sizes are reversed, Maggie
              being the largest and Homer the smallest.  Recycled from
              2F31.

Did you notice...

    ... the attorneys drive away in a white pickup truck?

Dave Hall:
    ... Maggie is using her pacifier to eat her mush?
    ... the wind on Krusty's face when the whistle is blown?
    ... Mrs. Krabappel carries the school charter around with her?
    ... Mrs. Krabappel appears to know the first six pages of the
        charter?
    ... behind their desks the students feet don't touch the floor?
    ... there are twenty students in Bart's classroom?
    ... Lunch Lady Doris' cigarette doesn't appear to be lit?
    ... Lisa kisses Bart on the cheek?
    ... BG Murphy wears sandals?
    ... Lisa wears her hair bow on the left side of her head?
    ... Barney is sober?
    ... BG Murphy has two IV bags in one scene?
    ... Lisa changes her clothes before returning to the hospital?
    ... BG Murphy's photo on Lisa's night table?
    ... how contented Homer looks sucking on the pacifier?
    ... Burns' limo doesn't have a license plate?
    ... Bart cashes his 500 dollar check?
    ... the SNPP cooling towers when Lisa looks over Springfield?
    ... Lisa's tears?
    ... the heavy use of shadowing in this episode?

Matthew Kurth:
    ... Lisa leaves BG's album at the radio station?

Tony Hill:
    ... Krabappel whistles the trio section of "Stars and Stripes
        Forever" while she delays Bart?
    ... Springfield General allows groups of children to visit?
    ... Ralph wears a real tie?
    ... Maggie has another pacifier after she gives Lisa one?
    ... BG Murphy is buried in a new section of the cemetery?
    ... the clouds rolling by as Lisa makes her resolution?

Don Del Grande:
    ... this is the second episode with separate story and teleplay
        credits (the first being 8F20)?
    ... in the story credit, Mike Reiss's name comes before Al Jean's,
        instead of the (usual) other way around?
    ... at the funeral, Marge isn't wearing black, and Lisa's dress is
        pink, although she has a black coat and shoes?
    ... the "20th Television" logo has been changed again?

Jose Lafaurie:
    ... during Lisa's solo in the recital, Martin tries to add something
        by hitting his triangle?
    ... how different Barney looks when he's sober?
    ... the cloud Bleeding Gums has a red tongue, and when he returns he
        has a gray tongue?

Voice credits

- Starring
    - Dan Castellaneta (Krusty, Mel, Homer, Willy, Bill Cosby, Barney,
      Abe, Hans Moleman)
    - Julie Kavner (Marge)
    - Nancy Cartwright (Bart)
    - Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
    - Hank Azaria (Chalmers, hot dog vender, Dr. Nick, Blind Willie,
      Moe, Wiggum, roulette man, comic book dealer)
    - Harry Shearer (Skinner, Hibbert, Fabrege egg man, Kent Brockman,
      Lovejoy, KJAZZ DJ, Burns, Mufasa, Darth Vader, James Earl Jones)
- Special Guest Voice
    - Ron Taylor (BG Murphy)
    - Steve Allen (himself)
    - Phil Hartman (Lionel Hutz)
    - Marcia Wallace (Mrs. Krabappel)
- Also Starring
    - Doris Grau (Lunch Lady Doris)
    - Pamela Hayden (Milhouse, Cosby's daughter, reporter, nurse at
      hospital, dispatcher)

Movie (and other) references

  + Thelonius Monk's "'Round Midnight"
    - episode title
  + "E.R."  {tk}
    - music during first shot of Springfield hospital sounds similar to
      music from E.R.
  + "Madeline" {ddg}
    - after Madeline shows the other girls her appendix scar, they want
      theirs removed as well
  + "The Cosby Show"
    - parodied
    "EEK! the Cat"/"The Terrible Thunderlizards" {rl}
    - Lisa says "How come it won't stop hurting?" similar to how Bill
      says "When does the hurting stop?"
  + the OJ Simpson trial {mk}
    - attorneys Robert Shaporo and Albert Dershman are parodies of
      Robert Shapiro and Alan Dershowitz
  + Disney's "The Lion King" {mk}
    - the suddenly-appearing storm clouds
    - the somber mood music
    - the cloud-shaped face of BG, like Mufasa
    - the appearance of Mufasa himself in the clouds
  + Tezuka's "The Jungle Emperor" {mk}
    - see comments section

Previous episode references

- [7G06] Lisa meets BG Murphy
- [7F01] Maggie eating with her pacifier {mk}
- [8F15] Steve Allen appears {av}
- [8F23] New Coke is slammed
- [9F01] Wiggum: "That's nice chopping" cf. "That's nice fluting" {jl}
- [9F07] Krusty's Percodan addiction {av}
- [9F08] Krusty is unable to eat his own merchandised food products {av}
- [9F09] Nick Riviera's operating theater {mk}
- [9F18] Lunch Lady Doris is the school nurse {ddg}
- [9F21] recycled footage of Abe listening to radio {ljs}
- [MG05], [7G09], [9F18], [1F01] Maggie shares her pacifier {mk}
- [1F06] Dr. Hibbert does an appendectomy {av}
- [1F08] a character holds billiard balls in his mouth {jl}
- [2F03] the poisonous gas cloud {mk}
- [2F06] Prozac reappears {av}
- [2F06] the OJ Simpson trial is referenced {av}
- [2F14] a lot of money is bet on red at roulette {th}

Freeze frame fun

- Cereal box: {mk}
     KRUSTY O's
          "Free
          Inside!
             One
          Jagged
           Metal
        Krusty-O!"
 
- Inside the snake: {mk}
    - Milhouse
    - Ralph
    - Lewis
    - a rabbit
- Album: {mk}
    - "Sax on the Beach" by Bleeding Gums Murphy (Hi-Fi)
    - shows woman in bikini playing a sax
    - the sax has sunglasses on
    - BG Murphy stands in the background
- Sign: {mk}
     S P R I N G F I E L D
        C E M E T A R Y
     Come For The Funerals
       Stay For The Pie
 
- Sign: {mk}
        K   J   A   Z   Z
   152 Americans Can't Be Wrong
 
- Cereal box: {mk}
     KRUSTY O's
          "Flesh-
           Eating
          Bacteria
          In Every
            Box!"
 

Animation, continuity, and other goofs

Since when is Krusty on at breakfast time?  {th}

What's the TV doing in the kitchen?  {dh}

Brockman says, "This just in," of the Krusty conference -- yet Brockman
himself appears at the conference.  {js2}

Krusty _has_ talked to Sideshow Mel outside the show, in 9F19 for
example.

The bear only appears when Homer lifts his arm.  {dh}

One scene shows the students doing the test even before Mrs. Krabappel
has finished handing them out.  {dh}

Superintendent Chalmers acts surprised at Lunch Lady Doris being the
nurse, but she treated him in 9F18.  {js}

Bart holds the wrong side of his belly in some scenes.  {dh}

Bart's appendectomy scar is in the wrong place.  {mk}

Milhouse already got his appendix out.  (See episode 8F04.)  {dh}

How does a "jagged metal Krusty-O" induce appendicitis?  {ddg}

There are several frames missing between when Dr. Hibbert checks BG's
pulse and when he turns to laugh.  {mk}

Hibbert met his long-lost brother in 7F16; he has another one now?  BG
Murphy and he look nothing alike.

Lisa sees BG Murphy in previous episode since 7G06, like 7F03.  {dh}

"The Tonight Show" wasn't called that until Hugh Downs took over from
Jack Parr, who took over from Steve Allen.  {ddg}

Bleeding Gums had a job after 1986 -- he was a regular at the Jazz Hole
club in 7G06.  {ddg}

Pardon me for being picky, but who provided the percussion in the
hospital duet?  {ddg}

BG Murphy and Lisa's rubbing towels disappear after they use them.  {dh}

BG Murphy's IV bag disappears in some scenes.  {dh}

Lisa's sax vanishes after she puts it down.  {dh}

When Lisa leaves the hospital for the recital, she leaves her own
saxophone behind -- and she and Bleeding Gums normally play different
types of saxophone.  {ddg}

Martin normally plays the lute (like in 8F22, 1F17), not the triangle.
{dh}

You can't play a flute by blowing in one end, whether it's with your
mouth or your nose.  (Is the mouthpiece end of a flute even open?)
{ddg}

How did Bleeding Gums Murphy die?  He never even said what he was doing
in the hospital!  {ddg}

Homer and Marge have no protection at the cemetery, yet they weren't
wet.  {th}

Who paid for the funeral and the coffin?  {ddg}

Every other source indicates that BG produced more than one album.  {mk}

Lisa would almost surely have a copy of BG's album.  {mk}

Sloppy animation on Burns' limo -- Burns appears in one window, but the
next window doesn't show his body.  {dh}

Lisa isn't dumb enough to fall for Burns' gag.  {th}

Same scenes of Lisa passing the comic store were used when Bart was
making his purchase.  (i.e.  It looks as if Bart was watching the same
view of Lisa over and over again.)  {dh}

Bart pulls a Krusty O's box out of thin air.  {dh}

There was no credit given to any saxophone player; for that matter,
there was no "Assistant to Mr. Groening" credit, although MG did receive
his own credits.  {ddg}

Reviews

Matthew Kurth: An episode that had everything going for it to make it
    the most deeply moving episode of the series that completely pissed
    it away for a handful of weak gags.  Average just isn't good enough
    for this one, it should have been better.  Rest In Peace, Bleeding
    Gums. 7/10

Tony Hill: This was an episode with a message, but unfortunately, it had
    to wade through some pretty stupid gags (bear, snake, umbrella, Moe)
    before it could make its point.  The Allen and Cosby parodies
    provided some redeeming value.  Lisa's stellar performance is enough
    to bring it up to B level.

Don Del Grande: A-minus -- although if I didn't like Lisa (or jazz), it
    would probably be a C-plus at best.  I'm glad to see that the
    writers managed to tie the subplot into the story in some way other
    than "do the subplot first, then have the main plot as a result of
    the subplot".

John J. Wood: Grade: B. There were enough touching moments that hold to
    repeated viewings.  At times, there was too much focus on humor and
    not enough on the story, but this episode, IMHO, could have been
    much improved had we actually seen Bleeding Gums pass on.

Christine Tiplady: Alas, it wasn't funny.  There was little drama.  And
    the touchingness was of the forced variety [death, Bart giving Lisa
    a $500 gift totally out of the blue].

Joe Baylot: I thought that tonight's episode was another good episode (I
    can't believe it, two in a row).  It had some funny moments, it had
    some touching moments that made me tear up.  Poor Lisa.  She gets to
    see Bleeding Gums after so many years and he is about to die.

Alan Freed: I thought the show was pretty decent (It's not even midnight
    and I've already watched it 3 times).  The last few new shows seemed
    a little haphazardly thrown together.  IMHO this episode displayed a
    little better continuity without so many sight gags that tend to
    distract from the main storyline.

Aaron Varhola: A schizophrenic episode.  Moments of true brilliance and
    emotion, such as the "Jazzman" song and Yeardley's wringing every
    ounce of emotion out of Lisa, tainted by misfiring and insensitive
    gags (the hot dog vendor at the graveyard and stupid Homer
    reappearing at Lisa's bedside).  Grade: B.

John Heppen: I liked this episode, it wasn't ha-ha funny, but it was
    good story.  I thought that this episode gave some real good
    character development for Lisa.  It has been a while since we last
    saw Lisa's smart and sensitive side and Bart's for that matter also.

Dairenn Lombard: I loved this episode, mainly because it had BANG-UP
    jokes!  But it lacked substance and some of the Bart/Lisa scenes
    were out of character.  Also, Marge was underused.  FOUR stars!

Alanna Caffrey: I thought this episode was just plain awful, the only
    really funny part being the end cloud scene with James Earl Jones
    voiceovers.  I was offended by the sappiness; I like cutting
    satirical humor.  That's why I watch The Simpsons and why I don't
    watch dumb sappy sitcoms.

Andrew Mutchler: I think the Bleeding Gums Murphy story in this episode
    would probably have benefited from not being shoehorned together
    with another story (esp. one of such a widely different tone), and
    being given more time to develop more fully.

Scott Fujimoto: Well, I didn't hate this episode, but IMHO, it could
    have been a lot better...like an A+.  If they ever wanted to re-do
    an episode, this would be the one to do.  Grade: C.

Ricardo Lafaurie: I am tired of people bagging on The Simpsons.  I, for
    one, thought all episodes were great for a laugh, and this one was
    funny.  Maybe I have a high sense of humor (or low, per se) and
    though this wasn't the best, it wasn't bad either.  Grade: B.

Yours truly: Poignant at times, could have been really good, but the
    jokes tended to wreck it for the most part.  Sure, they were funny
    (Steve Allen, Cosby, butterfly, "Death!"), but I don't know why they
    couldn't make the episode more serious as a whole.  Grade: C.

Comments and other observations

Billie Holiday

Tony Hill gives her dates as 1915-1959 (when she died of a drug
    overdose) and says she "is acknowledged as one of the greatest jazz
    singers of all time."

Springfield General Hospital

Tony Hill opines that the hospital "looks similar to the hospital used
    in the establishing shots of `General Hospital,' which off-screen is
    known as Los Angeles County/USC Medical Center.  For the How-big-is-
    Springfield crowd: The hospital looks like the right size for a city
    of about 50,000; or perhaps a smaller city with a large tributary
    area."

Steve Allen

Tony Hill states that Steve Allen was the original host of the "Tonight"
    show from 1954-1957.

The Starland Vocal Band

Tony Hill explains, "Starland Vocal Band, also known as Bill & Taffy
    Danoff, amused the world with its one and only hit, `Afternoon
    Delight' in the summer of 1976.  Some stations pulled the song after
    they realized what the song was about."  John Vamossy adds, "Not
    only that, SVB managed to get a prime-time network variety show out
    of that one hit's popularity!  (It was short-lived, thankfully.)
    Ah! the '70's!"

"Avenge my death, Kimba -- I mean, Simba"

Matthew Kurth writes, "This is a deliberate reference to claims that
    Disney ripped off the basis for `The Lion King' from a 1950s comic
    book called `The Jungle Emperor' produced in Japan in the 1950s by
    Osamu Tezuka which was animated and shown in America in 1966 as
    `Kimba, the White Lion'.
    
    There are several striking similarities and co-incidences between
    the films, the most interesting of which is, surprise, the use of
    clouds to have their dead fathers `come back to life' to communicate
    with their sons, named Kimba in `The Jungle Emperor' and Simba in
    `The Lion King'.  And while borrowing from other films is not
    uncommon, this debate is particularly heated because Disney
    maintains that `The Lion King' is an original film when there is
    substantial evidence to the contrary."

Ron Taylor

Jose Lafaurie says his first appearance was in "Trading Places" as the
    big black guy who says, "You was in the can last night, braggin' on
    yer limosine!"  His other acting jobs include:

    - Who's That Girl (a dock worker)
    - Relentless (Captain Blakely)
    - Heart Condition (Bubba)
    - Downtown
    - Collision Course (Auto worker)
    - Rover Dangerfield
    - A Rage in Harlem (Hank)
    - There Goes the Neighborhood (Bubble Man)
    - TV show "Vinnie & Bobby"
    - Amos & Andrew (Sherman)
    - In the Line of Duty: The Prince of Vengeance

"Jazzman"

Dave Kathman writes, "This song was written and performed by Carole King
    (with Tom Scott on sax) on her 1974 album `Wrap Around Joy'.  The
    song hit #2 on the Billboard chart, and I still hear it occasionally
    on the radio."

Dave Hall transcribes the lyrics as follows:
    
    Lift me won't you lift me
    above the old routine
    
    Make it nice
    play it clean
    Jazzman!
    
    When the Jazzman's testifyin'
    a faithless man believes
    
    He can sing you into paradise
    or bring you to your knees
    
    Jazzman!
    Oh, Jazzman!

Quotes and Scene Summary

(There are no syndication cuts in this episode, according to Frederic
Briere.)

It's the Krusty show.

Krusty: Hey, kids!  It's story time.  [laughs] I'm going to tell you the
        story of Krusty's expensive new suit: his sexual harassment
        suit.  [laughs painfully] Boy.
        Anyway, as part of Krusty's plea bargain, he has a new court-
        ordered sidekick, Ms.  No-Means-No.
         [to her] Whoa!  You're hot.  Let's get some dinner after the
        show.
         [she blows a whistle and holds up a stop sign with "NO" on it]
        I have dinner with all my employees, right, Sideshow Mel?
   Mel: We've never spoken outside of work.
Krusty: [laughs, then sighs] Oh...
  Bart: [watching] I'm surprised he doesn't try to blame his problems on
        his Percodan addiction.
Krusty: It wasn't my fault, it was the Percodan.  If you ask me, that
        stuff rots your brain.  And now a word from our new sponsor...
        Percodan?!  Aw, crap!
-- Negative endorsements, "'Round Springfield"

Marge disapproves of Bart watching TV at breakfast.

Marge: Bart, are you ready for your history test?
 Bart: Oh, you bet, Mom!  Ask me anything.
Marge: OK.  Who was George Washington Carver?
 Bart: Um...the guy who chopped up George Washington?
Homer: Really?  Wow.
-- A learning experience for everyone, "'Round Springfield"

Bart takes a spoonful of Krusty O's -- unfortunately, the one that
contains the free jagged metal Krusty O -- and eats it.  After
swallowing, he grimaces.

Marge: Bart, you said you were going to study.
 Bart: [clearly in pain] Oh!  My stomach.
Marge: Mmm, you just don't want to take that test.
 Bart: No, I mean it: it really hurts.
 Lisa: Mom, I think he's serious.
Homer: Kids are so naive.  Lisa, when you get to be our age, you'll
       learn a few things, like when a sign says "Do not feed the
       bears," man, you better not feed the bears.  Now get to school,
       boy.
        [Bart walks off groaning with Lisa]
-- Sign, sign, everywhere a sign, "'Round Springfield"

At school, Bart's condition is no better.

    Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, I can't take the test.  I have a stomach ache.
    Edna: Well, that's a lame excuse for an excuse.  Hah!
    Bart: Look, if you ignore me and I die, you'll get in a _lot_ of
          trouble.
    Edna: Read page six of the school charter.  [hands him one]
    Bart: "No teacher shall be held accountable if Bart Simpson dies."
    Edna: We're also absolved if Milhouse gets eaten by the school
          snake.
Milhouse: [inside the snake] Hey, cool!  There's a rabbit in here.
-- Mmm, absolution, "'Round Springfield"

A little later, Bart puts his hand up.

 Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, I'm done failing the test.  Can I _please_ go to
       the nurse?
 Edna: Gosh, Bart, maybe you really are in pain.  Well...it would be
       cruel not to let you go.
        [files her nails, hums the national anthem]
        [hums part of "Stars and Stripes Forever"]
       Heh heh heh, _now_ you may go.
 Bart: [walking into nurse's room] Lunch Lady Doris?  Why are you here?
Doris: Budget cuts.  They've even got Groundskeeper Willy teaching
       French.
Willy: "Bonjourrr", you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!
-- The finer points of language, "'Round Springfield"

    Bart: Look, my stomach really hurts.
   Doris: All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids.  Your
          choice: Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Bluebird of
          Unhappiness.
    Bart: [groaning] Oh...[collapses]
 Skinner: Superintendent Chalmers, I'd like you to meet our new school
          nurse, Lunch Lady Doris.
Chalmers: Yeah, nice to see you.  Seymour, why is that student lying
          unconscious on the floor?
 Skinner: Well in many cases, the floor is the best -- ahem.  Oh, look,
          here comes Lumpy, the school snake!
           [Milhouse, Ralph, and Lewis cry for help from inside it]
          Oh, Lord...
-- No promotions today, "'Round Springfield"

Bart gets taken to the Springfield General Hospital.  In an operating
theater, Dr. Hibbert reassures him.

Hibbert: Don't worry, son: you'll be fine.  This boy's appendix is
         inflamed and about to burst, which _will_ make it easier to
         find once I get in there.  [chuckles]
  Homer: [watching from above] Man, these are primo seats.  I could
         _really_ go for a hot dog.
  Marge: Homer!  This is an operation.
    Man: Hot dogs, get your hot dogs here!
  Homer: Woo hoo!
   Nick: OK, Bart, I will count to three, and you will be sound asleep.
         One, two, three...out like a light!
Hibbert: Scalpel...?
   Bart: [screaming] Aah!
   Nick: Whoopsie, heh.  Maybe if I fiddle with these knobs.  [sniffs]
         Hey, I smell gas...pleasant gas.  [sighs] Night-night gas...
         [collapses]
-- He forgot to say "Hi, everybody!", "'Round Springfield"

Bart awakens woozily, his vision blurred.

  Marge: How's my special little guy?
   Lisa: How're you feeling, big brother?
          [Maggie sucks on her pacifier]
  Homer: Aw, this is wonderful: you're alive!
   Bart: [resentful] No thanks to _you_, Homer.
  Homer: Why you little...!
          [strangles Bart for a while]
Hibbert: Now Homer, please, the boy's just had a very serious operation.
  Homer: [sullen] All right.
-- Dr. Hibbert, voice of authority, "'Round Springfield"

Bart's class comes in to visit him.

 Hibbert: Bart, I found the culprit: a jagged metal cereal O.
    Bart: Wicked!  [pulls up his gown] I got this cool scar, _and_ I get
          to miss a week of school!
           [his assembled classmates ooh and aah]
Milhouse: Dr. Hibbert, can I have _my_ appendix out?
           [the other children clamor in agreement]
 Hibbert: [chuckles] Why not?  Follow me, kids!  Nurse, prep these
          children!
           [the children follow, chattering eagerly]
-- Hippocrates, schmippocrates, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa says "I'm glad you're OK, Bart," kisses him on the cheek, and walks
out down the hall.  She hears a saxophone playing and stops.  Eventually
she spies the cause.

Lisa: Bleeding Gums Murphy!
  BG: Little Lisa.  It's good to see you again.
Lisa: It's been a long time...
       [flashback to 7G06, BG playing on the bridge]
  BG: My friends call me "Bleeding Gums".
Lisa: Ew.  How did you get a name like that?
  BG: Well, let me put it this way: you ever been to the dentist?
Lisa: Yep.
  BG: Not me.  I suppose I should go to one, but I got enough pain in my
      life as it is.
       [back to the present]
  BG: What are _you_ here for?
Lisa: My brother just had his appendix out.
  BG: Is he going to be OK?
Bart: [mooning them] Hello, I'm Dr. Cheeks.  I'm doing my rounds, and,
      uh, I'm a little behind.
Lisa: [monotone] He'll be fine...
-- Bart bounces backside -- er, back, "'Round Springfield"

[End of Act One.  Time: 5:36]

     BG: Lisa, I sure am glad you dropped by.  You're the first visitor
         I've had.
   Lisa: What about your family?
     BG: I don't really have a family.  All I had was a little brother
         who grew up to become a doctor.  He used to laugh at the most
         inappropriate times.
Hibbert: [chuckling] Hey, I've got an older brother that I'll never see.
         He's a jazz musician or some such.  Oh well, bye bye.  [walks
         out]
   Lisa: It must be awful to be all alone in the world.
     BG: Well, I always had my music.  I learned at the feet of Blind
         Willie Witherspoon.
          [flash to younger BG in a bar]
 Willie: I've been playing jazz for thirty years and I just can't make a
         go of it.  I want you to have my saxophone.
     BG: This isn't a saxophone, it's an umbrella!
 Willie: So I've been playing a umbrella for thirty years?  Why didn't
         anybody tell me?
     BG: Heh, we all thought it was funny.  [chuckles]
 Willie: That's not funny.
-- Differing senses of humor, "'Round Springfield"

The scene returns to the present.

   BG: Then I got my big break: I was on Steve Allen's "Tonight Show".
        [flash to Steve Allen on stage and audience clapping]
Allen: Heh heh heh.  Now, a brilliant jazz musician who's inspired me to
       do some improv poetry.  [chuckles]
       Twinkle, twinkle, groovy cat, [BG starts playing]
       How I wonder where you at.
       I really love the way you cook,
       Just like me when I wrote this book.
        [holds it up] "How to Make Love to Steve Allen", from the author
       of "Happiness Is a Naked Steve Allen", "Journey to the Center of
       Steve Allen", and "The Joy of Cooking Steve Allen".
-- Jack Paar ain't got nothing on him, "'Round Springfield"

   BG: I cut my first and only album, "Sax on the Beach", but then I
       spent all my money on my $1,500 a day habit.
        [flashback]
       I'd like another Fabrege egg, please?
  Man: Sir, don't you think you've had enough?
   BG: I'll tell you when I've had enough!
        [back to the present]
 Lisa: When was the last time you worked?
   BG: In '86 when I did I guest shot on the Cosby Show.
        [flashback]
Cosby: Hey, kids!  Meet Grampa Murphy.
Child: We have three grampas already!
Cosby: This one's a great jazz musician.
Child: Oh, they _all_ are.
Cosby: Oh, oh: you see, the kids, they listen to the rap music which
       gives them the brain damage.  With their hippin', and the
       hoppin', and the bippin', and the boppin', so they don't know
       what the jazz...is all about!  You see, jazz is like the Jello
       Pudding Pop -- no, actually, it's more like Kodak film -- no,
       actually, jazz is like the New Coke: it'll be around forever, heh
       heh heh.
-- New commercial lows, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa is impressed.

Lisa: Wow, you've had some career, although the moral seems to be that a
      lifetime of jazz leaves you sad and lonely.
  BG: Well, before you came to visit, I would have agreed with you.
-- Aw, "'Round Springfield"

Kent Brockman delivers the news.

  Kent: This just in: Krusty the Klown staged a press conference today
        to defend himself against charges that his products are unsafe,
        his theme park is a death trap, and that he's marketing videos
        of Tanya Harding's wedding night.
Krusty: And I contend that those tourists were decapitated _before_ they
        entered the KrustyLand House of Knives[tm].  Next question?
 Woman: What about that little boy who got appendicitis from eating your
        cereal?
         [shot of Bart with Lionel Hutz]
Krusty: To prove that this metal O is harmless, I will personally eat
        one.  [takes a mouthful]
        See?  There's nothing -- [starts screaming and writhing] Oh,
        boy!  This thing is shredding my insides.
   Mel: Er, Krusty, that wasn't the metal one, that was a regular Krusty
        O.
Krusty: It's poison!
-- Not much of a vote of confidence, "'Round Springfield"

Back at the hospital...

    BG: So, you all set for your recital?
  Lisa: I sure am!  Look: [shows her gums] I stopped brushing my teeth
        so I can play just like you.
    BG: Aw.  Lisa, honey, music comes from what's in your heart, not
        what's on your teeth.  Come on, let's jam.
         [he starts to play; Lisa sings]
  Lisa: Lift me, won't you lift me above the old routine?
        Make it nice, play it clean, Jazzman!
         [she plays with him]
         [people in the hospital hear and start to dance]
        When the Jazzman's testifyin', a faithless man believes.
         [a man's heart monitor displays musical notes]
        He can sing you into paradise, or bring you to your knees.
         [people dance and snap their fingers]
         [Hibbert stitches "I (heart) JAZZ" onto a patient's stomach]
        Jazzman, oh, Jazzman!
         [they jam some more]
         [Barney walks out of the Detox center into the Retox center]
Barney: Hey Moe, what'll you give me for an A. A. Chip?
   Moe: Uh, Barney, this is a five minute chip.  Ehh, it's worth a
        Pabst.  [draws him one]
-- Moe, just making his living, "'Round Springfield"

The song ends and BG hugs Lisa.  "Baby, you are going to knock 'em
dead," he says, then coughs.  "Here," he says, holding out his
saxophone, "take this for luck."  Lisa gasps, "Your sax!  Thank you so
much."  He waves to her as she walks out.

At the sold out school recital, Principal Skinner introduces the
orchestra.

 Skinner: Now I have learned that most of the orchestra is having their
          appendixes removed, so without further ado, I give you the
          remnants of the Springfield Elementary School Orchestra: on
          saxophone, Lisa Simpson, on triangle, Martin Prince, and with
          a flute up his nose, Ralph Wiggum.
           [Ralph blows a couple of notes]
  Wiggum: That's some nice flutin', boy.
 Skinner: They will be playing "Stars and Stripes Forever", hopefully
          not forever.
           [they start playing]
Audience: Boo!
     Abe: It sucks!
           [Lisa jazzes it up a bit; everyone applauds]
           [back at the hospital]
    Lisa: Hey, Bleeding Gums!  I was great, and I owe it all to --
           [a nurse fixes his bed]
           [gasp] What happened to Mr. Murphy?
   Nurse: I'm sorry.  He passed away.
-- Like sands through an hourglass, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa goes to the bridge to cry.  At home, she weeps into her pillow when
Homer walks in.

Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be OK?
 Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.
Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's
       happy.
 Lisa: But he was the only person that had the same love for music that
       I do.
        [Maggie gives Lisa a pacifier]
       Thank you.  Oh, Dad, why did he have to die?
Homer: Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over.
 Lisa: Uh huh.
Homer: Remember, honey?
 Lisa: Yeah.
Homer: What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and
       get a new jazzman.
 Lisa: [wailing] Oh, Dad!  [weeps]
Homer: Oh, I blew it again.
        [Maggie gives him a pacifier]
       What?  [sucks on it] Mmm...
-- Homer, competent parent, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa goes to the treehouse to be alone.  Bart joins her.

   Bart: Hey, Lis, you still upset about that jazz guy?
   Lisa: [noticing Bart] Oh.
   Bart: If it helps, I believe that after you die, you come back as
         whatever you want.  I'll be a butterfly.
   Lisa: How come?
   Bart: Because, nobody _ever_ suspects the butterfly.  [laughs]
          [flash to a smouldering school]
Skinner: [being restrained] I didn't burn down the school.  It was the
         butterfly, I tell you, the butterfly!
 Wiggum: He's crazy, boys.  Get the taser.
          [a small Bart butterfly holds a gas can and laughs]
-- The ultimate reincarnation fantasy, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa: Uh, maybe I need to talk to somebody with a little more age and
      wisdom.
 Abe: Death stalks you at every turn!
Lisa: Grampa!
 Abe: Well, it does -- aah!  Death!  There it is.  Death!
Lisa: It's only Maggie.
 Abe: [laughs sheepishly] Oh, yeah.  You know, at my age, the mind
      starts playing tricks.  So -- aah!  Death!
Lisa: That's only the cat.
 Abe: Oh.  Aah!  Death!
Lisa: That's Maggie again, Grampa.
 Abe: Oh.  Where were we?  Death!
-- Tricks indeed, "'Round Springfield"

At a meal, everyone but Lisa eats.

 Lisa: How come it won't stop hurting?
Marge: Oh, Lisa, it's normal to be sad when a friend dies, and Bleeding
       Gums was a good friend to you.  But nobody is really gone as long
       as we remember them.
Homer: Lisa, honey, if you really want to preserve his memory, I
       recommend getting a tattoo.  It preserves the things you love.
        [pulls up his sleeve]
       "Starland Vocal Band"?!  They suck!
  Abe: [pointing to the birdbath] Death!
-- Here, there, and everywhere, "'Round Springfield"

It's raining the day of BG's burial.  Lisa and Rev. Lovejoy are the only
two at the funeral.

   Lisa: Isn't anybody going to show up?
Lovejoy: Well, Lisa, we've waited an hour.  [clears his throat, reads]
         Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to
         Blood and Guts Murphy.
   Lisa: No!  It was Bleeding Gums Murphy.
Lovejoy: Yecch!  Anyway, Bloody Gums Murphy was quite the sousaphone
         player --
   Lisa: Saxophone!  He was a jazz musician.  You didn't know him --
         nobody knew him, but he was a great man, and I won't rest until
         all of Springfield knows the name Bleeding Gums Murphy!
  Homer: And I won't rest until I've gotten a hot dog.
  Marge: Homer, this is a cemetery.
    Man: Hot dogs!  Get your hot dogs here.
  Homer: Woo hoo!  [buys one]
  Marge: What do you do, follow my husband around?
    Man: Lady, he's putting my kids through college.
-- "'Round Springfield"

[End of Act Two.  Time: 14:51]

The doorbell rings and Bart answers it.

[End of Act Three.  Time: 20:08]

Hutz: Good news, Bart: the Krusty O Cereal Corp. has settled your case
      for $100,000, less, of course, my legal fees.
Bart: [suspicious] What kind of legal fees?
Hutz: [looking nervous] Well, for a case this complex, I had to assmeble
      a crack team of lawyers: Ronald Shaporo, trial attorney, Albert
      Dershman, who can hold three billiard balls in his mouth.
Bart: How much of the hundred thou do I get?
       [Hutz hands him a check]
      $500?!
Hutz: Yes, well, er --
Bart: Cool!
Hutz: Let's roll.
       [they speed off in a white pickup truck]
-- With license plate "NOT OJ", "'Round Springfield"

Bart: I can't believe it: five hundred bucks!  Oh, just think what I can
      do with that money.
       [flash to a casino, with women all around]
      $500 on red.
       [the man spins the roulette wheel]
 Man: The winner is black.  [takes all the chips]
       [back to the present]
Bart: Cool!
-- He could buy five Radioactive Man #1s, "'Round Springfield"

 Lisa: Mom, I want to honor Bleeding Gums' memory but I don't know where
       to start.
Marge: Maybe you could get the local jazz station to do a tribute to
       him, huh?
Homer: Jazz, pfft.  They just make it up as they go along.  I could do
       that: dee dee-dee dee dee dee dee, dee dee dee --
Marge: That's "Mary Had a Little Lamb".
Homer: OK, then, this: doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo --
Marge: That's the same thing; you just replaced "dee"s with "doo"s.
Homer: D'oh!
-- So much for his B Sharps talent, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa approaches the DJ at KJAZZ ("152 Americans Can't Be Wrong").

Lisa: Hi, I have a request.  I would like you to do a tribute to
      Bleeding Gums Murphy, please.
  DJ: Aw, I'd love to, little sister, but we don't have his album.
Lisa: What if I could find it?
  DJ: Well, I'd spin it for you, but you know, ain't no one going to
      hear it.  Our broadcast range is only 23 feet which makes us the
      most powerful jazz station in the entire US of A.
Lisa: Gee, your station has a lot of problems.
  DJ: Tell me about it: just look at our morning guy.
Hans: Hello.  This is Moleman in the morning.  Good Moleman to you.
      Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I
      live every day...
-- He's only 31, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa heads to the comic book store.

 Lisa: $250?  But I need that album to honor the memory of Bleeding Gums
       Murphy.
Owner: He's dead?  Well why didn't you say so?
        [changes price to $500]
 Lisa: [groaning] Ohh...
-- Market value, "'Round Springfield"

"But where am I going to get $500?"  Lisa wonders.  She gasps as she
sees a bundle of money in the gutter.  She chases it, but it gets pulled
along on a string...by Burns, who hops in a car driven by Smithers and
speeds off just as Lisa gets close.

Bart walks into the comic store.

 Bart: Excuse me, my good man, I have $500 to blow.  What have you got?
Owner: Behold, the ultimate pog!
        [motions to Steve Allen album]
 Bart: I'll take it!
-- Steve Allen memorabilia, "'Round Springfield"

Bart sees Lisa walking downcast past the window of the store.  He wavers
between the Steve Allen album and the BG Murphy album.

Later, as Lisa sits on her bed, Bart walks in.

Bart: Lisa...look what I've got.  Ta da!  [shows BG album]
Lisa: [gasps] Bart, I can't believe it!  But why?
Bart: When I said my stomach hurt, you were the only one who believed
      me.
Lisa: Oh, thank you.  But $500?  You'll never see that much money again.
Bart: Oh yeah?  Take a look at this.
       [holds up "Krusty O's: Flesh-eating Bacteria in Every Box!"]
-- Lucien Bouchard's downfall, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa returns to KJAZZ with the album, and the DJ puts it on a turntable
and hands her a radio.  "Here, you can listen to it on this," he says,
but as she walks away from the station, all she picks up is static.  She
sighs heavily, "I did the best I could, Bleeding Gums."  Just then, a
large cloud appears over the radio tower and lightning strikes it.
Suddenly, the signal comes in clearly -- for Lisa, Homer at home, Abe at
the Castle, and Wiggum in his patrol car.  "Attention all units,
attention all units, poison gas cloud heading for --" announces the
dispatcher, but her voice is cut off by the jazz transmission.  Wiggum
approves until he passes out from a cloud of poison gas.

            Lisa: That was for you, Bleeding Gums.
              BG: [appearing in the cloud] You've made an old jazzman
                  happy, Lisa.
          Mufasa: [appearing in the cloud] You must avenge my death,
                  Kimba -- I mean, Simba.
     Darth Vader: [appearing in the cloud] Luke, I am your father.
James Earl Jones: [appearing in the cloud] This is CNN.
              BG: Will you guys pipe down?  I'm saying goodbye to Lisa!
             All: We're sorry.  [they vanish]
-- A last request, "'Round Springfield"

Lisa: I don't want you to go.
  BG: Sorry, but I have to.  Goodbye.
Lisa: [sobbing] Goodbye...
       [BG disappears, then reappears]
  BG: Oh, what the heck: once more from the top.
Lisa: Yay!
       ["Jazzman" starts again; Lisa sings]
      When the Jazzman's testifyin', a faithless man believes.
      He can sing you into paradise, or bring you to your knees.
-- The credits roll, "'Round Springfield"

[End of Act Three.  Time: 20:08]

Lisa keeps singing over the credits:

"Jazzman, take my blues away,
Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play.
Jazzman, oh, Jazzman."

She cries, "Once more time!" at the end, but BG protests, "Oh, come on,
Lisa: I got a date with Billie Holiday."  The Gracie Films music is
played on saxophone and piano instead.

Contributors

   {ddg} Don Del Grande
   {dh}  Dave Hall (special thanks to Dave for all the articles he saved
         for me while I was away)
   {th}  Tony Hill
   {tk}  Torsten Kracke
   {mk}  Matthew Kurth
   {jl}  Jose Lafaurie
   {rl}  Ricardo Lafaurie
   {js2} Jameson Simmons
   {js}  Jim Stoicheff
   {av}  Aaron Varhola
===============================================================================
This episode summary is Copyright 1997 by James A. Cherry.  Not to be
redistributed in a public forum without permission.  (The quotes
themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the
reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors.  I'm
just taking credit for the compilation.)

This capsule was funded by a generous grant from Cylinder Monkeys Unlimited,
and by viewers like you.