[2F03] Treehouse of Horror V

Treehouse of Horror V                          Written by Count Greg Danula and
                                           Dearly Departed Dan McGrath, David  
                                           Cohen's Severed Hand, Blob Kushell  
                                              Directed by Jaundiced Jim Reardon
Production code: 2F03                       Original airdate in N.A.: 30-Oct-94
                                                  Capsule revision H, 22-Feb-97

Title sequence

Title      :- The Simpsons Hallowe'en Special V

Gravestones:- Amusing Tombstones

           :- R.I.P.

Events     :- Moe's body, in a noose, falls from a tree and opens its

           :- Lovejoy burns Patty and Selma witches at the stake; they
              use the flames to light cigarettes

           :- Skinner, in a guillotine, gives Bart the thumbs up as Bart
              jumps on the heads of Mrs. Krabappel, Willy, and Chief
              Wiggum; Bart then chops Skinner's head off

Couch      :- The undead Simpson family enter through the floor with
              mismatched body parts which they remedy somewhat once

Did you notice...

    ... when Homer is watching TV, Maggie spells "Redrum" with her

Matthew Kurth:
    ... _Congress_ ruled the episode as too scary?  (as opposed to
        Broadcast Standards & Practices or the FCC)
    ... Homer is wearing a sweater in the car?
    ... OFF is wearing heavy coats, yet Bart is wearing shorts and Lisa
        is wearing her usual dress?
    ... Willy says "Why you little..."?
    ... Homer's "right tool" is a rock?
    ... the Olmec head in the basement?
    ... all the other men are wearing Ned-esque outfits, but Moe is in
        his bartender's garb?
    ... the curtains in the "rich" OFF house are blue prints of the same
        old corn pattern?
    ... "rich" Maggie's pacifier has a diamond on the handle?
    ... Ralph stays in the classroom when the others made a break for

Brendan Dunn:
    ... the police station has "Wanted" posters of Fat Tony, Snake,
        Sideshow Bob?

Don Del Grande:
    ... Smithers wears his power plant ID badge?
    ... Marge makes a pun about "Scotchgarding" the rug (Willy being
        Scottish and all)?
    ... when Homer is traveling back in time, the clocks in the scene
        are all going backwards?
    ... the "Oktoberfest" sign has umlauts (..) over the K, second O,
        both Es, and the last T?
    ... Principal Skinner's bib has the yellow "SCHOOL" sign symbol?
    ... inside-Out Marge is wearing her shoes, and her hair fits inside
        her hat?

Dave Hall:
    ... Moe doesn't have his rubbing towel in the introduction?
    ... the family aren't wearing seat belts?
    ... Maggie is sleeping during the trip?
    ... Bart jumps on top of the car?
    ... Bart disappears while Burns shows the family around the lodge?
    ... Bart plays with chainsaws?
    ... the mouse hole in the family suite?
    ... Homer can use a typewriter?
    ... Homer's hair strands are unfurled when he's insane?
    ... Homer lands on his head on his first tumble down the stairs?
    ... Marge can lift ~260 pounds of dead weight?
    ... Homer's tongue dangles out of his mouth when he's unconscious?
    ... Willy's bagpipes?
    ... the family has empty glasses at breakfast?
    ... when the house is shaking, Maggie actually stays in her
        highchair without falling?
    ... Maggie has large teeth?
    ... the drool down Marge's mouth?
    ... giant Lisa wants to kill?
    ... we actually see Maggie eat?
    ... Lunch Lady Doris wears lipstick on the job?
    ... Sherri or Terri is missing her twin?

Doug Yovanovich:
    ... Wendell running with his hand over his mouth when Bart announces
        the backwards-desks prank?

Ricardo Lafaurie:
    ... the "Created" and "Developed" credits "grow" towards you?
    ... the picture of the Scottish woman above Willy?
    ... the "Re-Neducation" music is the same as the "Technical
        Difficulties" song of 9F04 and 1F04?
    ... Homer keeps weiners in his pocket?
    ... the skin falling off as the family turns inside-out?
    ... SLH is not inside out?

Liam J. Scanlan:
    ... this is the only hallowe'en episode production code that doesn't
        end in 2 or 4?

Voice credits

- Starring
    - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Willy, Abe, Mr. Peabody, Kang)
    - Julie Kavner (Marge)
    - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, kid starved for oxygen)
    - Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
    - Hank Azaria (Moe, Wiggum)
    - Harry Shearer (Burns, Smithers, Kent Brockman, man introducing
      Tony Awards, Skinner)
- Special Guest Voice
    - James Earl Jones (Maggie)
    - Marcia Wallace (Mrs. Krabappel)
- Also Starring
    - Doris Grau (Lunch Lady Doris)
    - Pamela Hayden (Sherman, Jimbo, Milhouse)
    - Russi Taylor (Uter)

Movie (and other) references

  + "The Outer Limits" {ddg}
    - voiceover before title sequence
  + Kubrick's movie adaptation of Steven King's "The Shining" (see
    - one of the closing credits {rl}
  + "Nightmare on Elm Street" movies
    - Freddy Krueger appears in Moe's band of ghouls
  + "Hellraiser" movies
    - Pinhead appears in Moe's band of ghouls
  + "Friday the 13th" movies
    - Jason appears in Moe's band of ghouls
  + "Late Show with David Letterman"
    - Homer announces himself like the announcer announces Dave on show
  + "60 Minutes"
    - Homer pretends to be all of Mike Wallace, Morley Safer, and Ed
      Bradley, complete with ticking watch
  + "Crime and Punishment"
    - second segment title
  + Ray Bradbury's "A Sound of Thunder"
    - plot of second segment: time travel to dinosaur age, "Butterfly
  + "Evil Dead 2" {mz}
    - Homer tries to get toaster off hand just like Ash tries to get his
      girlfriend's decapitated head off his hand
  + "The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show"/"Peabody's Improbably History"
    - Peabody and Sherman appear
  + "Jurassic Park"
    - mixing of dinosaurs from different eras {pl}
    - scenery quite similar
    - Homer talks about dinosaurs "being confined to zoos"
  + "Terminator 2"
    - TV screen morphs from tiled floor (same floor as in mental
    - noise while morphing takes place is the same
  + "Back to the Future II" {dgp}
    - Homer goes back to find Ned rules the world (like McFly goes back
      to find Biff rules the world)
    Orwell's "1984"
    - people who dissent are "reeducated"
  + Dr. Seuss stories
    - Homer's line, "I wish, I wish I did not kill that fish"
  + "Sweeney Todd" [_not_ "Soylent Green" - ed]
    - people are made into food
  + Pink Floyd's "The Wall" {dd}
    - teachers putting kids in a giant blender similar to "The Wall",
      with teachers putting kids in a giant mincer
    "Total Recall" {av}
    - scene where Bart, Lisa, and Milhouse are backed up against the
      food processor looks like the scene with the fan
  + "A Chorus Line"
    - song at the end of the episode (different lyrics and music)
  + "Casper the Friendly Ghost" {rl}
    - one of the closing credits

"Shining" references

Similarities between "The Shinning" and "The Shining"

    - title of first segment
    - plot: Homer (Jack Torrance), winter caretaker at lonely lodge,
      goes insane
    - blood pouring out of elevator
    - hedge maze (topiary of hedge animals in book)
    - Bart (Danny) can read people's thoughts
    - Willy (Halloran), the benevolent gardener (cook), identifies
      Bart's (Danny's) gift
    - Willy (Halloran) calls it "the shin" ("the shine")
    - Willy (Halloran) tells him to call if he needs Willy
    - Maggie spells "Redrum" with her blocks (Danny keeps hearing the
      word "Redrum" -- "murder" backwards -- and not getting it)
    - a ghost in the bar offers Homer (Jack) a drink
    - Marge (Wendy) reads typewritten stuff by Homer (Jack)
    - "No TV and no beer maker Homer go crazy ("All work and no play
      make Jack a dull boy")
    - Marge (Wendy) leaves Homer (Jack) in walk-in cooler
    - Homer (Jack) is released by ghostly bartender
    - Homer (Jack) chops his way into rooms with an axe
    - "Heeeere's Johnny!"  (famous Jack Nicholson line in movie)
    - radio for help fails
    - police station with Wiggum identical to Forestry Service station
    - Bart (Danny) uses Shin (shine) to call Willy (Halloran)
    - Willy (Halloran) has a picture of a Scottish (black) woman above
      his bed
    - Willy (Halloran) tries to save the day (Halloran doesn't die in
      the book, does die in the movie)
    - Jack freezes in the snow (in the movie)

Previous episode references

- [7F22] The Olmec head {mk}
- [8F09] German music when Germans are welcomed to the power plant is
  used in the Oktoberfest cafeteria scene
- [9F04] Burns bets Smithers a Coke {mk}
- [9F04], [1F04] "The Late Bill Oakley & The Estate of Josh Weinstein"

Freeze frame fun

- Opening credits: {ddg}
              SAM "SAYONARA" SIMON
Co-Executive Producer  GEORGE MEYER'S BRAIN
- Moe's band of ghouls: {mk}
    - Moe
    - mummy
    - werewolf
    - vampire
    - Freddy Krueger
    - Pinhead
    - Jason
- Things used to fix toaster: {mk}
    - distributor cap (for a 4 cylinder car), ignition coil, and spark
      plug wire
    - vacuum tubes (8 of them)
    - Christmas tree lights
    - fluorescent desk lamp
    - printed circuit boards (4 of them)
    - rabbit-ear TV antenna
    - other miscellaneous bits
- Sign: {mk}
     Re-Neducation  Center
     "Where The Elite Meet
     To Have Their Spirits
- Other OFF houses: {mk}
    - mansion
    - igloo
    - Flintstone house
    - early McDonalds
    - underwater
    - giant shoe
    - Sphinx (complete with Bart head with broken nose)
- "GRADE F MEAT - Ingredients: Mostly circus animals, some filler" {dh}
- The remaining students: {mk}
    - Bart
    - Lisa
    - Milhouse
    - Wendell
    - Ralph
- Settings on the "Hamilton Beech Student Chopper": {mk}
    - Off
    - Chop
    - Pulverize
    - Puree
    - Gooify
- The closing credits: {ddg}
Executive Producer  DAMNED DAVID MIRKIN
                     SAM "SAYONARA" SIMON
(credits switch to the "standard" font at this point)
          and HARRY (O.J.) SHEARER
               RANCID RUSSI TAYLOR
Executive Consultant  BADDAXE BRADLEY BIRD
Animation Executive Producer  PHANTOM PHIL ROMAN
Executive Story Editor  BRENTRAILS FORRESTER
Executive Story Editor  ROBERT GORY KUSHELL
Executive Story Consultant  DEARLY DEPARTED DAN McGRATH
Animation Co-Producer for Gracie Films  FRANKEN TSUMARA-STEIN
Post Production Supervisor  ALLISON CHAINS ELLIOTT
                        TERRY GRIM REAPER GREENE
                     GREG "BORIS" ORLOFF
(a number of "regular" credits appear here)
Executive Vice President for Gracie Films  DENISE "666" SIRKOT
Executive Creative Consultant  JAMES HELL BROOKS

Animation, continuity, and other goofs

Homer's car antenna disappears.  {dh}

The spare tire on the inside of the trunk lid of Burns' limo isn't there
until just before he closes the lid.  {ddg}

Smithers' ID badge disappears in some scenes.  {dh}

Bart's chainsaw vanishes.  {dh}

Willy's body disappears after Homer axes him.  {dh}

When Homer first runs out of the house after the rest of the family, he
is running much faster than they are, and should have caught up with
them in seconds.  {mk}

Homer's axe disappears.  {dh}

The Tony Awards are in June, not in winter; also, the song being sung is
the one sung at the end.  {ddg}

Mr. Burns appears slightly off-model throughout "The Shinning".  {mk}

The toaster continues to spark after the plug has been pulled.  {crc}

From the angle Homer throws the toaster, he shouldn't be able to stick
his hand right back in it.  {mk}

The toaster only has two heating elements, both in the middle.  This
would make toast *very* slowly, and would only toast one side of each
slice of bread!  {mk}

When Homer finishes fixing the toaster, it has no cord or plug.  {ddg}

The toaster handle is sometimes up when it should be down.

Dinosaurs from different periods appear.  (see below) {pl}

Just stepping on the grass - just occupying space, for that matter -
should have an effect on the future.  (Just as Homer's giving the
dinosaurs a cold affected the future.)  {ddg}

When Maggie is forced to smile in Neducation, her pacifier disappears.

The basement door shouldn't adjoin the kitchen.  (See other episodes.)

As the house is getting ready to be taken away, the House design & yard
layout is incorrect.  {dh}

Homer's Neddy clothing changes back to his normal clothing.  {dh}

Other than OFF's house, none of the other neighborhood houses are
affected.  {ddg}

Kodos and Kang are slightly off-model.  {mk}

Bart's desk moves from the back to the middle of the classroom.  {dh}

The door to Bart's classroom should open outwards.  (See other
episodes.)  {dh}

Wendell is in the classroom, detention room _and_ in the cafeteria.

Lunch Lady Doris's cigarette vanishes in some scenes.  {dh}

It is very unlikely that Bart would actually be one of the remaining
five students.  {dh}

The first shot of Skinner has him with apron strings around his back,
but next shot shows him tie on the apron.

Bart is wearing his normal orange shirt in bed.  {mk}

No matter how Bart had been sleeping, there is no way he could be
sitting up in that slouched position with the covers laying the way that
they are.  Furthermore, Bart doesn't act all that scared.  {mk}


Joe Bedzek: Personally, I wasn't overly impressed.  I agree that "Time
    and Punishment" was really funny, and the other two had their
    moments.  My concern was mainly with the more gory nature of the
    show.  [...] It just seemed like there was a different tone to the
    special this year.

Carl Mueller It didn't disturb me, at least not in the way that it
    perhaps disturbed you.  What disturbed me is how the Simpson's
    writers can keep putting out crap like this.  When a show makes last
    year's Hallowe'en episode look GOOD, you've got something truly
    awful on your hands.

Matthew Kurth: "The Shinning" did not stand up on its own; "Time and
    Punishment" was mediocre; "Nightmare Cafeteria" was an undeveloped
    fit of pure tastelessness.  More sick than scary.  Easily the worst
    of the five. 6/10

Keith Hudson: I thought it was fantastic.  I laughed so hard when Homer
    got his hand stuck in the toaster TWICE!  And then when he was
    beating the crap out of everything back in time (i.e. stepping on
    the little lizard, punching the flying one.)...Great episode.

Don Del Grande: Grade: A - it competes with #2 for the best Halloween
    special; of course, one of the things that makes Halloween Specials
    so good is the fact that "the rules don't apply".

Tiare Williams: I'm sorry, but that Halloween V was like old times
    again.  I was ROTFL last night, and I haven't in a long time.  The
    inside-out thing was kinda gruesome, but I loved the rest!!

Sean Curran: IMHO the Simpsons Hallowe'en Episodes are by far the best
    and most original scripts and shows that the creators have ever come
    up with.  I love the parodies and I think that the openings of the
    Hallowe'en specials are the funniest that the show is able to come
    up with.

Joe Clark: I have to say this weekend's Hallowe'en show was not funny
    but disturbing.  Creepy, even.  I suppose that's the point, since
    it's a Hallowe'en show and all, but the Sloppy Jimbo et al. scenes
    were all too realistic, if that can be said about a cartoon.

Marc Singer: Halloween specials III and especially II were fantastic.  I
    and IV had their moments.  This one, with the exception of one
    sketch and one brief opening segment, wasn't all that great.  Since
    I'm a Shining fan, I'll give it a charitable .500, but the Simpsons
    should be better than half-funny.

Tony Hill: This year's Hallowe'en Special was a scream!  The self-parody
    was right on the money!  I thought "Time and Punishment" was
    uproariously funny, which is surprising given the fact that it
    didn't have much plot material.  James Earl Jones's cameo should
    have us wondering who will do Maggie's voice next.  I give it an A.

Yours truly: Another fine Hallowe'en showing.  I prefer it when they can
    ditch continuity and just write madly.  "Time and Punishment" is a
    classic, I think -- up there with the all-time greats.  "Shinning"
    weird but OK, "Nightmare Cafeteria" gruesome...overall, I give it

Comments and other observations

John Denver

Tony Hill writes that John Denver "was a singer/songwriter popular in
    the early seventies.  He became an obscurity in record time.  If he
    really did have five Christmas specials, it would be that much more

Homer's comment about "non-Brazilian" time travelers

Mark Johnson's best guess is that Homer was referring to Carlos
    Castaneda, "a Brazilian who wrote about his chemical-induced
    `adventures' about twenty years ago.  A rather trendy (for the
    college crowd) set of books from the late-60's, early 70's."

Dinosaur errors

Pat Len notes that Jurassic dinosaurs (Apatosaurids, Stegosaurids) are
    mixed in with Cretaceous dinosaurs (Tyrannosaurid, Triceratosaurids,
    Hadrosaurids).  Also, the flora seems to be both Triassic and
    Cretaceous without the coniferous Jurassic stuff around for the
    Apatosaurs to eat.  This is just like the movie "Jurassic Park"
    where similar mixing occurs.

The fish Homer squishes

Michael Zey says, "As anybody who's ever taken science in college know,
    that critter that Homer stepped on was a Choanata.  Choanata were
    the first creatures to venture from water to land.  For Homer to
    kill it, it means that he would have wiped out the future of all
    land dwelling creatures...or maybe not."

The original McDonald's

While the house was changing rapidly, it became a McDonald's restaurant.
    Tony Hill explains, "The oldest surviving McDonald's, until
    recently, was in Downey, California, a suburb of Los Angeles.
    (Downey is also the home of the space shuttle and Karen and Richard
    Carpenter.)  The building was well-captured for OFF.  The building
    had an arch at either end, which when viewed from the side at a
    proper angle formed the familiar golden arches.  The place also had
    a complex neon sign.  McDonald's Corp. closed the store a year or so
    ago, citing unprofitability."

Quotes and Scene Summary

Marge walks from behind a red curtain onto center stage into a

Marge: Hello once again.  As usual, I must warn you all that this year's
       Hallowe'en show is very, very scary, and those of you with young
       children may want to send them off for bed --
        [someone hands her a paper; she reads it]
       Oh, my!  It seems the show is _so_ scary that Congress won't even
       let us show it.  Instead they've suggested the 1947 Glenn Ford
       classic movie, "200 Miles to Oregon".
        [a clip from the movie shows]
-- Introductions, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The picture shuts off like a television being unplugged.  The little
white dot remaining at the center expands into a green line which
becomes modulated with Bart's voice like an oscilloscope trace.

       [picture shows a green line]
 Bart: There's nothing wrong with your television set.  Do not attempt
       to adjust your picture.  _We_ are controlling the transmission.
Homer: What's that, boy?  We're in control?  Hey, look!  I can see my
       voice!  [laughs] Brrr...hee!  Heeee!
        [changing pitches] Blub blub blub blub blub!  Thiiis...iiis my
       vooice...on teeeveeeee --
 Bart: Dad!  You're ruining the mood.
Homer: Sorry.
 Bart: For the next half-hour, _we_ will control what you see and hear.
       You are about to experience the terror and foul horror of...The
       Simpsons Hallowe'en Special.
        [green line turns into outline of five family members]
-- Bart opens the show, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Lightning strikes as the show title appears and the camera swoops
towards the Springfield cemetery.  A tombstone reads, "Amusing
tombstones", another reads "RIP".  Moe's body falls from a tree in a
noose -- and suddenly opens its eyes.  Rev. Lovejoy burns Patty and
Selma, dressed as witches, at the stake; they use the flames growing
around them to light some cigarettes.  Principal Skinner's head is in a
guillotine, above the decapitated heads of Mrs. Krabappel, groundskeeper
Willy, and Chief Wiggum.  Bart appears and jumps on the basket
containing the heads, stuffing them further in.  Skinner gives the
thumbs-up, only to have his own head chopped off.  The couch scene
features zombie Simpsons with mismatched body parts which they half-
remedy once seated.

[End of Opening Credits.  Time: 1:45]

First segment title: "The Shinning"

The word "Monday" appears on the screen, followed by a vertical shot of
the Simpson car traveling along a twisty mountain road.

       [screen shows "Tuesday"]
Homer: Well, it was a long trip, but we're almost there.
Marge: Homer, did you remember to lock the front door of the house?
Homer: D'oh!
        [screen shows "Wednesday"]
Homer: Well, it's been two long trips, but we're finally almost there
Marge: When you locked the front door, did you remember to lock the back
Homer: D'oh!  D'oh!
        [screen shows "Thursday"]
        [family drives along in sullen silence]
 Lisa: [gasps] Oh no!  We left Grampa back at the gas station.
       What about Grampa?
-- What _about_ him?, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The family continues their drive towards a large mansion in the

          [the Simpsons pull up, hop out of the car, and wave]
   Burns: Oh, goody: the Sea Monkeys I ordered have arrived.  Heh heh
          heh, look at them cavort and caper.
Smithers: Sir, they're the new winter caretakers for the lodge.
   Burns: Yes...they work hard and they play hard.
-- And use Right Guard, probably, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Burns takes the family on a tour of the lodge, down a hall with axes
mounted all along the wall.

Burns: This house has quite a long and colorful history.  It was build
       on an ancient Indian burial ground and was the setting of satanic
       rituals, witch-burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials.
Homer: [revolted] Ohh, John Denver.
        [they stop in front of the elevator, which opens and disgorges a
       river of blood]
Burns: Hmm, that's odd.  Usually the blood gets off at the second floor.
-- The five warning signs of a bad lodge, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Outside, the camera stars high above a hedge maze and zooms down to
Willy watering one part of it.

       [a chainsaw noise is heard]
 Bart: Hey!  I found a shortcut through your hedge maze.
Willy: Why you little --
        [thinking] No, no, go easy on the wee one.  His father's going
       to go crazy and chop 'em all into haggis!
 Bart: What's haggis?
Willy: [gasps] Boy...you read my thoughts!  You've got the Shinning.
 Bart: You mean "Shining".
Willy: [sotto voce] Shh!  You want to get sued?
       Now look, boy: if your Dad goes gaga, you just use that...Shin of
       yours to call me and I'll come a running.  But don't be reading
       my mind between four and five.  That's Willy's time!
-- For thinking about haggis, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Smithers stoops with scissors to cut a wire and picks up two crates of

   Burns: Yes, by cutting off cable TV and the beer supply, I can ensure
          an honest winter's work out of those low-lives.
Smithers: Sir, did you ever stop to think that [closes car trunk] maybe
          it was doing _this_ that caused the previous caretakers to go
          insane and murder their families?
   Burns: Hmm...perhaps.  Tell you what: we come back and everyone's
          slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
-- The utmost respect for life, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The two drive off for the winter.

Inside, Homer sits on the couch, munching greasy heavily-salted snacks.
He grabs the remote control and turns on the TV.

Homer: [changing channels, seeing snow] Hmm.  Cable's out.
        [switch scene to kitchen]
       Think I'll have a beer.  [opens fridge] Hmm.  Not a drop in the
       house.  What do you know.
Marge: Homer, I'm impressed!  You're taking this quite well.
Homer: [crazy] I'll kill you...I'll kill all of you!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Sorry, sorry.  Don't worry...there's plenty I can do to keep
       myself occupied.  Maybe I'll check out that axe collection.
        [walks out, shuts door, then pops head back in]
        [evil] See you later...
 Lisa: Mom, is Dad going to kill us?
Marge: We're just going to have to wait and see.
-- Cavalier about death, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer sits in the deserted lodge bar.

       [a ghostly Moe materializes behind the bar]
  Moe: So, what'll it be, Homer?
Homer: Moe...gimme a beer!
  Moe: No.  Not unless you kill your family.
Homer: Why should I kill my family?
  Moe: Uh...they'd be much happier as ghosts.
Homer: You don't look so happy.
  Moe: [angry] Oh, I'm happy.  I'm very happy -- la la la, la la la la.
       See?  [grabs Homer] Now waste your family, and I'll give you a
-- Not a compelling argument, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Marge walks into a darkened room calling for her husband.

Marge: Homer?  Homey?  Hmm...[notices typewriter] What he's typed will
       be a window into his madness.
        [reads it] "Feelin' fine".  Woah!  That's a relief.
        [lightning strikes, revealing "No TV and no beer make Homer go
       crazy" scribbled all over the walls]
       Mmm...this is less encouraging --
Homer: [bursting in] Hello!
Marge: Aah!
Homer: So what do you think, Marge?  All I need is a title.  I was
       thinking along the lines of "No TV and No Beer Make Homer"
       something something.
Marge: [timid] "Go Crazy"?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!
-- That wasn't an offer, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer makes crazy noises and faces, then charges Marge.  She runs over
to a glass case enclosing a baseball bat, breaks the glass, and grabs
it, threatening Homer.  "Give me the bat, Marge," he warns, backing her
slowly up some stairs.  She swings it at him as he continues to ask her
for it.  Eventually he laughs and calls her a scaredy-cat, making a
hideous face.  Catching sight of his own hideous face in a mirror causes
him to faint with fright and fall down the stairs, unconscious.

Marge hauls his body into a cold storage room, leaving him there with
"You stay here until you're no longer insane."  Noticing some cans, she
comments, "Hmm...chili would be good tonight."  She walks out, closing
the door behind her.

Homer wakes up and is in heaven, stuffing his face with food.

       [Homer stuffs his face]
  Moe: [through door] Homer?  It's Moe.  Uh, look: some of the ghouls
       and I are a little concerned the project isn't moving forward.
Homer: Can't murder now: eating.
  Moe: Oh, for crying out loud...
-- Homer's one-track mind, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Moe and some other ghouls come in and drag Homer out against his will.

The rest of the family sit around peacefully eating dinner.  Outside the
door, Homer chops his way in with an axe.

        [Homer chops through door]
 Homer: Heeeere's Johnny!
         [camera pulls back to reveal empty room]
         [Homer chops through another door]
 Homer: Daaaaavid Letterman!
   Abe: Hi David, I'm Grampa.
 Homer: D'oh!
         [Homer chops through another door]
 Homer: [holding a ticking stopwatch] I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley
        Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley.  All this and Andy Rooney tonight on
        "60 Minutes"!
Family: Aah!
-- The Simpsons learn the meaning of "fear", "Treehouse of Horror V"

They run into a room with a radio.  Marge calls out for help.

 Marge: [into microphone] Hello, police?  This is Marge Simpson.  My
        husband is on a murderous rampage.  Over.
         [shot of Chief Wiggum listening]
Wiggum: [sighs] Well thank God that's over.  I was worried there for a
        second.  [turns off radio]
-- Unfamiliar with radio protocol, "Treehouse of Horror V"

"No answer," frets Marge.

 Bart: Don't worry, Mom.  I can use my...[looks confused] "Shinning"...
       to call Willy.  [concentrates]
        [Willy watches TV in a little house]
 Kent: And that was the first time she'd ever flown a plane.
Willy: Uh oh.  The little fat boy and his family are in trouble.
        [runs outside, throws TV in the snow] I'm coming to rescue the
       lot of you!
        [opens door to lodge] All right, loony: show me what you got.
        [Homer drives an axe into his back]
       Aw, is that the best you can do?  [collapses]
Marge: Oh, my.  I hope that rug was Scotchgarded.
-- Marge, ever practical, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer drones "Must kill family" and walks towards them menacingly with
the axe.  They run outside into the snow, but Homer gains on them.  As
he raises the axe high above his head to chop, Lisa notices the TV Willy
had thrown in the snow.

 Lisa: Dad, look!  [holds TV up]
Homer: Television!  Teacher, mother, [lusty] secret lover.
       Urge to kill...fading...fading...fading -- rising!  Fading...
        [family sighs]
       Come, family.  Sit in the snow with Daddy and let us all bask in
       television's warm glowing warming glow.
        [hours later, everyone is frozen]
  Man: [on TV] Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your
       hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden!
 Bart: [with difficulty] Homer...change channel!
Homer: Can't!  Frozen!
        [music on TV: "One chorus line of people..."]
       Urge to kill...rising...
-- Enough to make _anyone_ kill, "Treehouse of Horror V"

[End of Act One.  Time: 8:54]

Second segment title: "Time and Punishment"

It's another beautiful Springfield morning.  Homer waxes philosophical
around the breakfast table.

Homer: You know, Marge, I've had my share of troubles, but sitting here
       now with you and the kids in our cozy home in this beautiful free
       country...it just makes me feel that I'm really a lucky guy.
 Lisa: Dad!  Your hand is jammed in the toaster!
        [everyone screams; Homer runs around]
Homer: Aah!  Get it off!  Get it off!  [slams it into things] Get it off
       of me!
        [throws it off, sighs, slumps down to floor]
 Bart: Dad!  It's in there again!
-- Three times lucky, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer takes the battered toaster down to the basement.

Homer: This shouldn't be too hard to fix...with the right tools.
        [breaks it open with a rock]
-- Homer repairs the family toaster, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The sun rises the next day as Homer makes final repairs.

      Homer: There...better than new!
              [puts final panel on toaster; inside lights blink]
             Now to take her for a test toast.
              [pops bread in; toaster flashes]
             What the --
              [he grabs it; they both disappear]
              [they fly down a swirly vortex with clocks around them]
             Look at that!  I'm the first non-Brazilian person to travel
             backwards through time.
Mr. Peabody: Correction, Homer: you're the second.
    Sherman: That's right, Mr. Peabody!
Mr. Peabody: Quiet, you.
-- Brazilian?  Huh?, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer arrives in the dinosaur age.

Homer: I've gone back to the time when dinosaurs weren't just confined
       to zoos!
-- "Treehouse of Horror V"

A pterodactyl flies overhead, and Homer begins to panic.

Homer: Aah!  OK, don't panic -- remember the advice your father gave you
       on your wedding day.
        [remembers Abe with hair and a tuxedo]
  Abe: If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything because
       even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't
Homer: Fine.  As long as I stand perfectly still and don't touch
       anything, I won't destroy the future.
        [a mosquito flies in]
       Stupid bug!  You go squish now!  [swats it]
-- Touching and swatting are different, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer realizes what he's done.  "But that was just one little
insignificant mosquito.  That can't change the future, right?  Right?"
he asks a passing bearlike creature, who shrugs and grunts "I dunno."
The toast pops and Homer finds himself back in his basement.

 Homer: Phew!  I'm back.  [walks up stairs to kitchen where family eats
        Aw, my loving family!  Nothing's changed.
         [a buzzer goes off; a TV screen morphs from the floor]
   Ned: [on TV] Heidely-ho, slaverinos!
Family: Okily dokily.
 Homer: Hey, what the hell is that geek Flanders doing on TV?
         [a siren goes off]
   Ned: Oh!  I see by the Big Board we got a Negative Nellie in Sector
        Two.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask the whole family to
        kind of freeze and prepare for Re-Neducation.
  Bart: Don't you remember, Dad?  Flanders is the unquestioned lord and
        master of the world.
 Homer: D'oh!
-- Apparently, Homer forgot, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The house rumbles as a giant flying truck loads it onto itself, secures
it, and flies off into the "Re-Neducation Center".

  Ned: [on a TV] OK, everybody, let's see some biiig smiles!
        [hooks descend on audience, forcing their cheeks apart]
       Just relax and let the hooks do their work.
Homer: [to man next to him] What the hell are you smiling at?
-- Same thing as you, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Afterwards, Homer massages his cheeks as he stands in a room with many
other men clad in green and pink.

      Ned: [on a TV] Now, in case all that smiling didn't cheer you up,
           there's one thing that never fails: a nice glass of warm
           milk, a little nap -- and a total frontal lobotomy.
      Moe: [slowly] It's not so bad, Homer.  They...go in through your
           nose and...they let you keep the piece of brain they cut out.
            [holds up a jar with a piece of brain in it]
           Ooh!  Hello!  Hello there!  Who's that big man there?  Who's
Bart+Lisa: [droning] Join us, father.
    Marge: [droning] It's bliiiissss...
    Homer: Nooo!
-- How to raise Homer's IQ, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer runs off in a panic as another siren goes off.  Some ferocious
attack dogs are released; they chase him voraciously.

       [Homer gets chased by dogs]
Homer: Oh no, they're gaining on me.  Wait!  I have an idea!
        [reaches into shirt, pulls out wieners]
       These wieners will give me the quick energy I need to escape.
        [eats them, pours on speed]
-- Homer revolts against Re-Neducation, "Treehouse of Horror V"

"I gotta go back...fix future!" he cries, finding the toaster again and
pushing the handle down.

       [Homer arrives in the past]
Homer: This time I'm not going to touch a thing.
        [a tyrannosaurus rex attacks him]
       Aah!  [hopping away] Mustn't crush...mustn't kill...made it!
        [sits on a fish that walks out of the water]
       Ohh, I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish.
-- Homer "Theodore" Simpson, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The toaster pops and Homer is transported back to the present.

Homer: [walking into empty kitchen] Hey, where is everybody?
        [giant Lisa peeps through window, rips roof off house]
 Bart: Hey...there's a bug that looks like Dad.  Let's kill it!
 Lisa: [gruff] OK.
-- Ask a question..., "Treehouse of Horror V"

The giant children's fists pound the floor as Homer runs off and
transports back in time again.  He arrives panting, only to have the
tyrannosaur threaten him again -- but this time he sneezes.  The
dinosaur sniffles, then sneezes and collapses.  All the dinosaurs do the
same, dropping dead in a long line.  "This is gonna cost me," Homer

Arriving back in the present, he notices the layout of the house has
changed for the richer.

Homer: D'oh!  I mean...hey.
 Bart: Good morning, Father dear.  [hands him comics] Hope you're well.
 Lisa: Are we taking the new Lexus to Aunt Patty and Selma's funeral
Homer: Hmm, fabulous house, well-behaved kids, sisters-in-law dead,
       luxury sedan...woo hoo!  I hit the jackpot.  [sits down] Marge,
       dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?
Marge: Donut?  What's a donut?
Homer: Aah!  Aah!  [pushes toaster handle, disappears]
        [donuts start to fall from the sky]
Marge: Hmm.  It's raining again.
-- Donuts keep falling on my head, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer arrives home again and opens the door to be greeted by Willy.

 Willy: You're still not in your own world, Homer!  I can get you home,
        but you have to do exactly as I -- argh!
         [Maggie axes him]
Maggie: [James Earl Jones voice] This is indeed a disturbing universe.
-- And how, "Treehouse of Horror V"

In the past, Homer yells angrily, "Don't touch anything?  I'll touch
whatever I feel like!", smashing plants and squishing creatures left and
right.  In the present, his house changes rapidly among an igloo, a
stone house, the original McDonald's, an underwater house, a boot, and a
Bart Sphinx.  The two green aliens watch from their spaceship.

 Kang: Foolish earthling...totally unprepared for the effects of time
        [aliens laugh, then change into Sherman and Mr. Peabody]
 Kang: [in Sherman's voice] What happened to us, Kodos?
Kodos: [in Mr. Peabody's voice] Quiet, you.
-- Homer's not the only unprepared one, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Homer finally arrives back panting and walks slowly up the basement

Marge: Good morning, dear.
Homer: What's my name?  What color is the sky?  What of donuts?  What?!
       For the love of God, tell me!
Marge: Homer, the sky is blue, donuts are plentiful, Friday is T.G.I.F.
       night on ABC.  What's gotten into you?
Homer: Nothing...nothing at all.  Let's just eat.
        [everyone but Homer eats with long forked tongues]
Homer: Ehh, close enough.
-- A world without cutlery, "Treehouse of Horror V"

[End of Act Two.  Time: 15:55]

Third segment title: "Nightmare Cafeteria"

The scene opens on Bart's classroom, running amok as usual.  Bart
whistles to get his classmates' attention.

Bart: Hey everybody!  Let's all turn our desks backwards before Mrs.
      Krabappel comes in!
       [everyone agrees vociferously]
Bart: [laughs, looks around] Huh?
       [he's the only one facing backwards]
Edna: All right, backwards boy, back your butt down to detention.
-- Alone in crime, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Bart walks off sullenly.  He arrives to see the detention room stuffed

Skinner: Over here, Simpson.  The detention room is dangerously
         overcrowded so you'll be serving your time in the cafeteria.
    Kid: [pressed against glass] Oxygen running out --
Skinner: Yes, you should have thought of that _before_ you made that
         paper airplane!
-- No child abuse laws, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Bart takes his seat next to Jimbo in the crowded cafeteria.

Skinner: This overcrowding in detention is becoming critical.  It's a
         powderkeg waiting to go off in an explosion of unacceptable
  Doris: Don't bitch to me, boss man.  Thanks to the latest budget cuts
         I'm down to using Grade F meat!
Skinner: Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was some sort of common
         solution to both our problems?
  Doris: That would be great.
  Jimbo: Hey Bart, watch this.  [trips Doris]
          [stew splashes] Oh, no!  My favorite outfit.
Skinner: [threatening] Jimbo, this is by far the worst --
          [licks finger, says "Mmm", tries some more]
         -- er, Jimbo, why don't you..._assist_ lunch lady Doris in the
  Jimbo: Bite me, Skinner.
Skinner: Well might we.
-- Jimbo's meat is higher than grade F?, "Treehouse of Horror V"

         [behind the closed kitchen door]
  Jimbo: It's hard for me to clean this giant pot when you keep spilling
         meat tenderizer all over me.  [click] Oh, great, now I gotta
         work in the dark.
          [at lunch, Mr. Largo, Miss Hoover, and Mrs. Krabappel eat
   Edna: Mmm, mmm, mmm.  This sandwich tastes so young and impudent, heh
         heh.  Seymour, what's with the good grub?
Skinner: Mmm, well perhaps I ought to let you folks in on a secret!  Do
         you remember me telling Jimbo Jones that I would "make
         something of him" one day?
   Edna: [gasps] Are you saying you killed Jimbo, processed his carcass,
         and served him for lunch?
          [Skinner taps his nose]
          [everyone chows down with renewed vigor]
-- Make something of him...literally!, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Bart gets served a ladleful of some meat dish.

   Bart: Hmm, I wonder where Jimbo is today?  He should have beaten us
         up for our lunch money an hour ago.
   Uter: [cutting in line] Oh, lunch lady?  Please to have another
         sloppy Jimbo?  [to Bart] Das ist gut, nein?  [chomps]
Skinner: Now that's your third helping, young man, making you fat and
         soft...[licks lips] and tender.  Er, you just cut in line,
         didn't you?  Report to detention, Uter.
   Uter: For how long?
Skinner: [quietly] Oh, about seven minutes a pound should do it.
-- That'll take over 700 minutes, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The next day's lunch is a special Oktoberfest celebration.  Lunch lady
Doris is dressed for the occasion with buns in her hair.

  Doris: OK, I got your German grub right here.
          [serves Bart, who eats, and walks away]
   Lisa: Bart, does it strike you as odd that Uter disappeared and
         suddenly they're serving us this mysterious food called
Skinner: [walking up in leiderhosen] Oh, relax, kids, I've got a _gut_
         feeling Uter is around here somewhere.  [chuckles] After all,
         isn't there a little _Uter_ in all of us?  [chuckles] In fact,
         you might even say we just _ate_ Uter and he's in our
         _stomachs_ right now!  [laughs] Wait...scratch that one.
-- A little too literal, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Lisa and Bart run down stairs that evening in a panic.

     Lisa: Mom!  Mom!  You've gotta help: they're cooking kids in the
           school cafeteria!
    Marge: Listen, kids: you're eight and ten years old now.  I can't be
           fighting all your battles for you.
     Bart: But Mom --
    Marge: No buts!  You march right back to that school, look them
           straight in the eye, and say "Don't eat me"!
Bart+Lisa: [disappointed] OK.
-- A new twist on an old saying, "Treehouse of Horror V"

A much-fatter Mrs. Krabappel writes "Homework: eat a stick of butter" on
the blackboard.  "Since so many students have been put on permanent
detention," she begins, then burps, "we've merged everyone into a single
class.  I trust there are no objections?"  Bart, Lisa, Milhouse,
Wendell, and Ralph say nothing.  Wendell shivers in fright and his
pencil falls to the floor.  Mrs. Krabappel looks up, points to the hall,
and says, "Detention".  Wendell looks appealingly at Milhouse and Ralph
who look away, and he leaves the class.

Milhouse gasps as he notices Mrs. K reading "The Joy of Cooking
Milhouse".  "Hey, you guys, I was just thinking that any one of us could
be next.  So what do you say we make a break for it?"  The two Simpson
children nod, and the three crawl out of the room.

As they tiptoe down the hall, Bart can't resist looking into the
detention room.  It's now set up with small cages in which children are
given some sort of IV.  Martin looks haggard in his cage and he shakes
convulsively, bringing an admonishment from Skinner: "Easy there, young
man, you'll only make yourself tired and stringy.  Now, to check on the
free-range children," he continues, looking out the window at a pasture
of children running around.

Lunch lady Doris catches the children escaping and she walk towards them
slowly with an eggbeater.

Willy: Hold on, kids!  I'm coming to rescue the lot of you!
        [Skinner appears and axes him]
       Argh!  Oh, I'm bad at this.
-- Groundskeeper Willy, zero for three, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The children are backed down the hall towards the auditorium.

Skinner: I'm going to enjoy devouring you, Bart Simpson.  Yes...I
         believe I'll start, as you've so often suggested, by eating
         your shorts.
          [Skinner turns a food processor on to "gooify" and backs the
         children towards it]
   Bart: Don't worry, guys.  Something _always_ comes along to save us.
          [Milhouse falls off the edge into the blender]
         Uh, nevertheless I remain confident that something will come
         along and save the two Simpson children...
-- They're needed for continuity, "Treehouse of Horror V"

Bart wakes up screaming.

Marge: Relax, honey, you were just having a crazy nightmare.  You're
       back with your family now where there's nothing to be afraid
       of...except that fog that turns people out.
 Bart: Huh?
Homer: Uh oh, it's seeping in.  Stupid cheap weatherstripping!
-- The half-assed guide to weatherstripping, "Treehouse of Horror V"

The family are indeed turned inside out.  The music for "One" begins.

[End of Act Three.  Time: 21:35]

Over the credits, the family sings:

One!  -- chorus line of people, dancing till they make us stop
Too!  -- many dancing people, covered with blood, gore, and glop.
Just one sniff of that fog and you're inside out:
It's worse than that flesh-eating virus you're read about!
Vital organs, they are what we're dressed in,
The family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine.
Happy Hallowe'en!

SLH drags Bart off, devouring him.


   {ddg} Don Del Grande (very special thanks for typing in all the names
         in the credits!)
   {bd}  Brendan Dunn
   {dd}  Dion Detterer
   {dh}  Dave Hall
   {mk}  Matthew Kurth
   {pl}  Pat Len
   {rl}  Ricardo Lafarie
   {dgp} David G. Platt
   {crc} Clark Curtis Roger
   {av}  Aaron Varhola
   {mz}  Michael Zey
This episode summary is Copyright 1997 by James A. Cherry.  Not to be
redistributed in a public forum without permission.  (The quotes
themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the
reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors.  I'm
just taking credit for the compilation.)