There's No Disgrace Like Home

There's No Disgrace Like Home                 Written by Al Jean and Mike Reiss
                                   Directed by Gregg Vanzo and Kent Butterworth

TV Guide synopsis

Familial bliss is the order of the day at Homer's company picnic, where
seeing families actually being nice to each other inspires Homer to
order the Simpsons to a family therapist, as advertised on TV.

Title sequence


    {I will not burp in class.}
    {I will not burp} at cutoff.


    Marge shoves Homer onto the floor.

Quotes and scene summary


 Bart and Lisa are in the dining room fighting, shoving each other in the
   Bart:   Yeah?|     |Oh yeah?|     |Yeah?|     |Oh <yeah>?|
   Lisa:        |Yeah!|        |Yeah!|     |Yeah!|          |Yeah!
   Homer:  [runs into the room, picks both kids up by the collar]
           Hey!  What's the problem here?
   Lisa:   We were fighting over which one of us loves you more.
   Homer:  [touched]  You were?  [sniff]  Aww... Well, go ahead.
           [releases the kids]
   Bart:   You love him more.|      |No I don't!|             |<No I don't!>
   Lisa:                  |No, <you> do!|       |Yes you <do>!|
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer threatens the kids to get it out of their system.  ``I don't want
 you embarrassing me at my boss's picnic.''  Homer enters the kitchen and
 inspects a hugenormous mixture of green jelly and marshmallows.
   Mmmmm.... marshmallows...
   -- Homer admires Marge's gelatinous dessert, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 After helping himself (and belching), he earns a scolding from Marge.
   Homer:  Are you sure that's enough?
           You know how the boss loves your delicious gelatin desserts!
   Marge:  Oh Homer, Mr. Burns just said he liked it... [indicates with her
           finger]  Once.
   Homer:  Marge, that's the only time he's ever spoke to me without using the
           word...  [dejectedly]  Bonehead.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Everyone is in the car with a plate of delicious gelatin dessert on their

 On arrival, the family (save Marge) carry the plates above their heads.
 Homer sets some ground rules with the kids.
   Homer:  Okay, now look.  My boss is going to be at this picnic, so I want
           you to show your father some love and/or respect.
   Lisa:   Tough choice.
   Bart:   I'm picking respect.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Mr. Burns welcomes the Gammel family.  When Gammel Jr.\ complains about
 missing little league, the father kindly tells his son to be quiet.
   Burns:    Oh please please, don't fight.  Just go out back and have a good
             time.  [to Smithers]  Fire that man Smithers, I don't want him, or
             his unpleasant family to ruin my picnic.
   Smithers: He'll be gone by the tug-of-war sir.
   Burns:    Excellent.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 The Simpsons arrive.
   Homer:    Ah, afternoon Mr. Burns!
   Burns:    Hello there... uh... uh...
   Homer:    [whispers to Smithers]  Simpson, Homer.
   Smithers: [hands an index card to Burns]  Here you go, sir.
   Burns:    Ah!  Oh yes... [reads the card]  Oh, and this must be your lovely
             wife... Marge.
   Marge:    [smiles]
   Burns:    Ho ho, look at little... uh... [consults the card]  Lisa!  Why,
             she's growing like a weed.
             And this must be... uh, Brat!
   Brat:     [unimpressed]  Bart.
   Homer:    Don't correct the man, Brat!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer presents their delicious gelatin dessert.
   Oh, for the love of Peter!
   -- Monty Burns utters a frustrated expletive, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 It seems that ``some damned fool went around telling everyone that I loved
 that slimy goop!''  He instructs them to ``toss it on the pile over there,''
 indicating several rooms already filled with gelatinous dessert.
   Burns:  Make yourselves at home.
   Bart:   Hear that Dad?  You can lie around in your underwear and scratch
   Homer:  [angrily, he goes to strangle Bart]  Now you listen to me!
   Burns:  Trouble, Simpson?
   Homer:  [one hand around Bart's neck]  No, heh heh heh.  Just congratulating
           the son on a fine joke about his old man.  [nervously pats Bart's
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Out the back of the estate, Homer stresses the importance of proper conduct
 with Bart and Lisa.
   Homer:  Now, remember!  As far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family.
   Lisa:   Hey Bart!  Last one in the fountain's a rotten egg!
   Homer:  D'oh!  [chasing after the two]  Be normal!  Be normal!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 One of the other mothers recommends that they dump their adorable girls in
 the nursery and get a glass of punch, but Marge admits to not being much of
 drinker.  ``Is that your boy there torturing a swan?''  Marge suggests
 a glass of punch.  Homer is still chasing after Bart and Lisa (who
 is hiding in the fountain).  The two mothers enter a room where a group of
 small children are playing.
   Marge:   Do you think we should leave the kids unsupervised?
   Mother:  You're right.  [turns on the TV]
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Outside, Homer continues his search for Bart and Lisa.  Lisa has disguised
 herself as a fountain cherub.
   Homer:  Bart!  Lisa!  [swans stampede Homer]  Willya... D'oh...  Where are are
           you kids!  [Bart beans Homer with a rock]  Ow!
   Bart:   Oops.  [Homer grabs Bart]  Whoa, careful Dad.  Blow a gasket, and
           you lose you job.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   -- Picnic announcement, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   Homer:  You remember the rules from last year?
   Bart:   Yeah, shut my mouth and let your boss win.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer drags Bart along to the event.  One of the swans has its revenge on
 Bart's behind.  The employees' wives are gathered around a bowl of punch.
   Mother:  I don't know who to love more...  My son Joshua who's
            captain of the football team, or my daughter Amber who got the lead
            in the school play.  Usually, I use their grades as a tie-breaker,
            but they both got straight A's this term, so what's a mother to do?
   Marge:   [helping herself to ample amounts of the punch]  Umm-hmm.  Well I
            sense greatness in my family.
   Mother:  <Your> family?
   Marge:   Well, it's a greatness that others can't see... but it's there, and
            if it's not <true> greatness we have, we're at <least> average.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   I don't want to alarm anyone, [woozily]  but I think there's a
   little al-key-hol in this punch.  [scoops another cupful]
   -- Marge enjoys some liquid refreshment at the company picnic,
      ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 The Father-Son sack race is ready to be run.
   Smithers: Mr. Burns, are you ready?
   Burns:    Yes.
   Smithers: Are you set?
   Burns:    Yes.
   Smithers: [whispers]  Go, Mr. Burns!
   Burns:    [feebly hops away]
   Smithers: [after Burns gets a healthy lead, fires the starter's pistol]
   -- The Father-Son sack race at the company picnic,
      ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Everyone cautiously stays a few leaps behind the man who can fire them.
 Bart grouses, ``Man, this is pathetic!  I'm going for it!''  Bart takes
 the lead, and Homer does a flying tackle to stop Bart just short of
 the finishing line.  Burns feebly hops to victory.  ``Close one this year.''

 Marge is at this point completely sloshed and leads the other mothers
 in a song.
   Marge:  Here we sit, enjoying the shade.
   Wives:  Hey, Marge, and pour the wine!
   Marge:  Drink the drink that I have made.
   Wives:  Hey, Marge, and pour the wine!
   Marge:  He's here with me, my one and only.
   Homer:  [runs past chasing the kids, sees Marge]  Huh?
   Marge:  Drink, my friends and don't be lonely.
   Homer:  [slaps his forehead] Oh!
   Wives:  Hey Marge, and pour the wine!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer goes to retrieve his wife.
   Homer:  Snap out of it Marge!  You've gotta come with me, the boss is going
           to make a toast.
   Marge:  Whoa, oh, I'm not much of a drinker.  [collapses]
   Homer:  You picked a perfect time to start, you... [Marge gazes at him]
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Late afternoon, and everyone is gathered around the rotunda.  A marching band
 plays ``For He's a Jolly Good Fellow''.
   Burns:    Musicians, cease that infernal tootling! [they do]
   Smithers: [hands Burns a card]
   Burns:    Thank you all.
   Smithers: [hands another card]
   Burns:    Ah... For coming.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 The crowd applauds.  Marge keeps clapping, then apologizes to everyone
   Now it's time to say goodbye.
   Please get off my property until next year.
   I suggest you don't dawdle, the hounds will be released in ten minutes.
   -- Burns closes the company picnic, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 As the families leave, a son thanks his father for the good time he's had.
 Mr. Burns likes to see this kind of family unity and promotes the father.
   Homer:  Quick Bart, give me a kiss.
   Bart:   Kiss you?  But Dad, I'm your kid!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer pays Bart five dollars.  Bart takes the money and uncomfortably
 kisses his father.
   Burns:    Ugh, I've never seen such an obvious attempt to curry my favor.
   Smithers: Fabulous observation sir, just fabulous.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Everyone walks back to their cars (except for Marge, who is flying Cloud-9)
 Homer congratulates the other father for his success with ``that corn-ball
 routine.''  Homer watches the other man's son politely opens the door for
 his sister, while Bart and Lisa fight to be the first in the car.
 As the `good' wife offers to drive her tired husband home, Marge thinks
 she's going to be sick.

 The other family (complete with halos and angelic wings) drive off,
 singing, ``There was a farmer who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-o...''
 He looks back at the demons that possess his family, with their sharp teeth
 and nails, elfin ears and fiery hair.  The surrounding country-side takes on
 a hellish glow.
   Marge:  Homey!  Get in the car!
   Lisa:   This is where you belong!
   Bart:   Yeah Homer, room for one more!
   Marge+Lisa+Bart: [chanting]  One of us!  One of us!  One of us!  One of us!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 They cackle sinisterly as Homer steps into the car and drives off into a
 landscape covered in lava and burning sulphur.  The blessed family ride home
 on their ``Roadway to Heaven''.  Homer sighs as the camera pulls back to
 show the interior of the car (everyone is back to normal), with Marge looking
 very sour.

 [End of Act One.  Time: 7:06]

 Dinnertime at the Simpsons.  Marge and the kids shovel food into their
 mouths while staring at the TV.  ``Unable to fend for themselves, the baby
 bald eaglets are dependent on their mother regurgitating the food.''
 This doesn't affect Bart and Lisa's appetites at all.  Homer enters,
 turns off the TV set, and insists, ``We're not going to shovel food into
 our mouths while we stare at the TV.  We're going to eat at the dining
 room table like a normal family.''

 The family are seated in the dining room.  Lisa asks, ``Happy, Dad?''
 Homer answers, ``Yes.''  Lisa concludes, ``Good, commence shoveling.''

 Homer stops everyone in mid-shovel and insists they say Grace.
   Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.
   -- Bart says Grace, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer stops him. ``Ignore the boy, Lord.''
   Homer:  Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we
           don't deserve it.  I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions!
           Pardon my French... but they act like savages! [kids bewildered]
           Did You see them at the picnic?  Oh, of course You did... You're
           everywhere, You're omnivorous.
           Oh Lord!  Why did You spite me with this family?
   Marge and the kids:  Amen!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 With a shout of ``Let's eat!'' Bart and the family recommence shoveling.
   Homer:  Sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
   Marge:  Maybe we should move to a larger community.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   -- Homer, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   Don't have a cow, Dad.
   -- Bart, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   The sad truth is, all families are like us.
   -- Lisa, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer begs to differ.  ``Well there's only one way to find out.''  He
 takes the family on a little excursion.

 The family crawl up to a neighbor's window and inside see a standard
 1950's television family having a banquet.
   Homer:  Look at that, kids!  No fighting, no yelling.
   Bart:   No belching.
   Lisa:   Their dad has a shirt on!
   Marge:  Look!  Napkins!
   Bart:   These people are obviously freaks.
   -- Homer takes the family to see what `normal' families are like,
      ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer takes them to ``see what's behind door number two.''  The family
 see a family having a conversation.  ``They actually enjoy talking to
 each other,'' observes Marge.  The conversation?  The child says,
 ``I believe I heard some rustling in the bushes.''  The father answers,
 ``I did too.  Better get the gun.''  The father appears at the front
 door with a shotgun.

 The Simpsons make their escape, then approach another window.
   Bart:   Whoa!  Look at this place, what a dump!
   Homer:  It's worst than you think, heh heh heh.  I just trampled this poor
           sap's flower bed.
   Marge:  Ho-mer, this is <our> house.
   -- Homer takes the family to see what `normal' families are like,
      ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer lingers outside.
   I want to be alone with my thought.
   -- Homer, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 At Moe's tavern, Homer has no interest in the boxing match.
 The two cops walk in.
   Moe:    Eddie!  Would you like some pretzels?
   Eddie:  No thanks, we're on duty.  A couple of beers would be nice though.
   -- The two cops pay a visit to Moe's Tavern, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 They're investigating a family of peeping toms who have been terrorizing
 the neighborhood.  The police dog finds Homer and goes nuts, and the cops
 must remove the dog forcibly from the premises.
   You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me.
   She said, ``Homer, you're a big disappointment'', and God bless her
   soul, she was really onto something.
   -- Homer, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   Barney: Don't blame yourself Homer.  You've got yourself a bad hand.  You've
           got crummy little kids that nobody can control.
   Homer:  You can't talk way about my kids!  Or at least two of them.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Barney asks, ``You got two that I haven't met?''\ and earns a fistful
 from Homer.  As the boxing match continues, Homer and Barney struggle
 on their own.  Barney floors Homer.  A commercial comes on, and Homer
 watches from floor-level.
   TV:      All-star Boxing was brought to you by ``Doctor Marvin Monroe's
            Family Therapy Center''.  [Dr. Marvin Monroe waves.]
   Wife:    Honey, aren't you going to work today?
   Husband: No-o-o... I don't think so.
   Wife:    Honey, you have a problem, and it won't get better until you admit it.
   Husband: I admit this...  You better shut your big yap!
   Wife:    Oh you shut up.
   Husband: No, you shut up!
   Wife:    No <you> shut up!
   Husband: Oh shut up!
   Wife:    Shut up!
   Husband: Shut up!  [little kid enters the bedroom]
   Kid:     Why don't you <both shut up!>
   Dr. Monroe: Hi, friends, I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe.  Does this scene look familiar?
            If so, I can help.  No gimmicks, no pills, no fad diets.  Just
            family bliss, or double your money back!  So call today!
            [dial 1-800-555-HUGS]
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   When will I learn?  The answer to life's problems aren't at the
   bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
   -- Homer, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 [End of Act 2.  Time: 11:45]

 Marge is with the kids watching an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon.  Homer enters.
   Homer:  All right, time for a family meeting.  [shuts off the TV]
   Lisa:   Why can't we have a meeting when <you're> watching TV?
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   Homer:  Now look... You know and I know this family needs help, professional
           help.  So I've made us an appointment with Dr. Marvin Monroe.
   Bart:   The fat guy on TV?
   Lisa:   You're sending us to a doctor who advertises on pro-wrestling?
   Homer:  Boxing, Lisa, boxing.  There's a world of difference.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Marge is worried if this is this the right thing to do.
   Honey, I've given this matter a lot of study, and of all the commercials
   I saw, his was the best.
   -- Homer suggests the family see Dr. Marvin Monroe,
      ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 And it costs only $250.  Marge tells him they don't have that kind of money.
 Homer commands her to bring out the kids' college fund.
   Oh come on Marge... Why skimp now on the off-chance that they'll
   actually get in someplace.
   -- Homer asks Marge to fetch the children's college fund,
      ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Marge counts the contents of a smashed piggy-bank on the kitchen table.
 Eighty-eight dollars and fifty cents.  Homer's not licked yet.
   Homer:  To save this family we're gonna have to make the <supreme> sacrifice.
   Lisa:   No Dad!  Please don't pawn the TV!
   Bart:   Aw come on, Dad, anything but that!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   Marge:  Homer, couldn't we pawn my engagement ring instead?
   Homer:  I appreciate that, honey,
           but we need one hundred an fifty dollars here!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 They enter the pawn shop.  The clerk welcomes the family (by name).
   Homer:  [presenting TV]  Would you pay $150 for this <lovely> Motorola?
   Clerk:  Is it cable-ready?
   Homer:  As ready as she'll ever be.
   -- Pawn shop, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 They have a deal.  At Dr. Monroe's Family Therapy Center, the family signs
 for their appointment with the receptionist.  ``My Love Is Blue'' plays in
 the background.
   Marge:  [despairingly] Homer, you raided the college fund, the TV... Homer,
           you're driving a stake through the hearts of those who love you.
   Homer:  Hey!  No pain, no gain!
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
   Receptionist:  Will you be paying by cash or check?
   Homer:  Cash of course!  I've got two hundred and fifty dollars right here
           with me.  I'm holding it right now.  Here it is, look... check it
           out.  [Homer realizes he could be making a big mistake.]  Two hundred
           and fifty big ones.
   Bart:   You really want to impress her, show her the big empty space where
           our TV used to be.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 A family who resemble the Simpsons have concluded their therapy session, and
 go to express their new found ability to express love for each other with a
 round of frosty chocolate milkshakes.  Homer makes his decision, and hands
 the money over to the receptionist.  ``There go my young girl dreams of
 Vassar,'' muses Lisa.

 Dr. Marvin Monroe welcomes the Simpsons into his office.
   Monroe: Hello, I'm Doctor Marvin Monroe, no doubt you recognize me from TV.
   Lisa:   We would if we had one.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer shouts at Lisa, but Marvin Monroe tells Homer he mustn't stifle the
 youngster, that his family must be free to express itself.  Dr. Monroe
 hands them pads and jumbo markers to draw their fears, their anxieties,
 the roots of their unhappiness.  They take a deep cleansing breath, and

 Bart shows a drawing of Homer.  Lisa, the same.  Marge likewise.  [Monroe:
 ``No surprises there.'']  Homer continues drawing, not paying attention to
 Dr. Monroe.  He draws a plane dropping a load of bombs.  Doctor Marvin
 Monroe concludes that the family views Homer as ``an ogre, if you will.''
 Bart's chimes his agreement, and Homer reaches for a lamp.  Doctor
 Monroe quickly takes possession of the lamp.
   Whoa!  Okay, so you want to kill each other.  That's good, that's
   healthy.  There's nothing necessarily wrong with hostile conflict.
   -- Doctor Marvin Monroe's Family Therapy, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 He asks merely that they use his patented aggression therapy mallets,
 unlocking them from a gun-rack.  Said mallets consists of a steel rod
 padded with foam rubber.  After another deep cleansing breath, the
 Simpsons take it out on each other.
   Homer:  Wait a minute, these mallet things are padded with foam rubber.
           What's the point?
   Bart:   They work much better without the padding, Doc.
   -- At Doctor Marvin Monroe's Family Therapy, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Over Marvin Monroe's protestations, Bart demonstrates his point by
 thwacking the doctor's shin.  Dr. Monroe angrily takes the steel rod
 from Bart and concludes that portion of the treatment.  Asks Marge,
 ``Are we cured yet?''  Monroe answers, ``No!  Don't be ridiculous.''
 He requires somewhat more unorthodox methods.  ``I'll have plenty of
 time to explain while I warm up the...  Electric generator.''

 In another room, the family sit with metal straps attached to their head and
 arms, and a console with four button in front of each of them.
   Monroe: Everyone comfy?  Hmmph, good.  Now don't touch any of those buttons
           in front of you for a very important reason.  I.e., You are wired in
           to the rest of your family.  You have the ability to shock them, and
           they have the ability to shock---(*buzzzzzz*)
   Homer:  Waaaaaaugh!
   Bart:   Just testing.
   -- At Doctor Marvin Monroe's Family Therapy, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Homer is about to press a button, but Monroe holds his arm back.
   Monroe: This is what's known as aversion therapy.  When someone hurts you
           emotionally, you will hurt them physically, and gradually you will
           learn not to hurt each other at all!  And won't that be wonderful
   Homer:  Oh yes, doctor!  [zaps Bart]
   Bart:   Oh!  [presses button]
   Lisa:   Owwww!
   Marge:  [scornfully]  Bart!  How could you shock you little sister?
   Bart:   My finger slipped.  [zapped]  Whaaaaagh!
   Lisa:   So did mine!  [zapped by Bart]  Aigh!  [she retaliates]
   Bart:   Arggh!  [zaps Lisa again]
   Marge:  Bart!  Lisa!  Stop that!  [zaps both]
   -- At Doctor Marvin Monroe's Family Therapy, ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Bart zaps Homer.  Homer zaps Bart.  Someone zaps Marge.  Lisa zaps Homer and
 Bart.  Bart zaps back.  Maggie meanwhile is happily pressing buttons at
 random (Marge, Homer, Lisa), until someone zaps her.  Everyone zaps everyone
 else.  The situation is clearly out of control.  Marge zaps Homer.  Lisa is
 zapped.  Maggie zaps Marge.  Homer zaps Bart twice.  Maggie zaps Marge.
 Marge zaps Maggie and Lisa.

 The receptionist and the other families waiting in the foyer notice the drain
 to the electrical power in the building.  The other families flee.  All the
 lights across Springfield flicker...
   Smithers: Boy, someone's really gobbling up the juice, sir.
   Burns:    Excellent!  Excellent!  [walking over to a power meter]  Perhaps
             this energy conservation fad is as dead as the dodo.
   -- ``There's No Disgrace Like Home''
 Monroe is still trying to get the Simpsons to stop.  Homer receives a massive
 jolt.  Bart goes to shock Lisa, but is beaten to the draw.  Lisa is zapped,
 and zaps Marge in return.  Marge zaps Homer and Bart zaps Lisa at the same
 time.  Maggie keeps pressing away at the buttons.

 The receptionist runs in to the laboratory.  ``Doctor Monroe!  Your other
 patients have fled the building!''  Over near-continuous buzzing, Dr. Monroe
 pleads, Stop!  Your damaging the equipment!''  In desperation, he pulls
 the power cord.

 The electrical generator winds down.  Smoke wafts from the family's heads.
 ``Hey, nice hair Mom,'' says Bart.  ``Gee, I thought we were making real
 progress,'' notes Marge.  Homer reminds the doctor that his commercial
 promised, ``Family bliss, or double our money back.''  ``But that was
 just a...  All right.''  He reluctantly tells the receptionist to get the

 Outside, Monroe counts $500 into Homer's hand, and angrily tells them to
 leave and not tell anyone that they were there.

 The family are astounded at their first pleasant surprise.  ``It's not the
 money, as much as the feeling that we earned it,'' observes Lisa.
 Marge suggests they repurchase their pawned television set, but Homer
 has bigger plans.  ``We're gonna get a new TV.  Twenty-one inch screen,
 realistic flesh tones, and a little cart so we can wheel it into the
 dining room on holidays.''  The kids cheer.  Marge kisses him.

 The Simpsons walk up the street together as a family.

 ``Bingo'' plays over the executive producer credits.

 [End of Act Three.]

Didja notice...

    ... the mouse hole in the dining room?
    ... the cakes (and a gelatin dessert) shaped as cooling towers at the
    ... when Maggie peeks out from behind the gelatinous dessert,
        it looks like she's been devoured by a pink blob!
    ... as Homer turns off the TV for the `family meeting', Scratchy swings a
        meat-cleaver above his head?  (But we don't actually see Itchy get
    ... the 'ideal' family at the therapy center?
    ... Maggie smiling behind her pacifier while she's happily pressing all the
    ... Maggie's ears wiggling when Homer announces buying the new TV?
    ... Homer hums the "Air Force Song" as he draws the picture of the
        airplane? {Rick Gray}
    ... although Bart chooses ``respect,'' he later kisses Homer?


Chris Baird {cjb}:  The funniest idea of <all> time has got to be Marge
blasted at the company picnic.  One of the episodes I would recommend if
you were trying to convince people who may have been turned away from the
show by all the crappy merchandising.

Yours Truly {rjc}:  I haven't seen this episode in years, but I <still>
laugh just reading Chris's summary.

Movie (and other) References

    + Freaks
        - ``One of us!  One of us!''
        - ``These people are obviously freaks.''
    + Picnic Grace (My grandmother's minister reportedly used it once)
        - It usually goes: ``Rub a dub dub, God bless this grub, Yea Jesus.''
      Dead of Night {Kevin Deininger}
      The Twilight Zone, ``Tower of Terrors'' {je}
        - ``Room for one more''

Freeze-Frame Fun

Outside Stately Burns Manor


S H  O T

(there's another sign, but only the last letter of each line is
visible: T, G,E)

In Moe's

Duff ad

        R    F
      E    U
    V    N      [Duff logo]
  E    E

Outside the bar


Pawn Shop

Shop next door


On window (from outside)

   A  W
P        N
S        P
   H  O

On Window (from inside)

(rather boring, eh?  It's also this way on a billboard above the store)

On door


On Shelves (Left to Right)

Top Shelf: filmstrip projector, vase, waffle iron, tea kettle, toaster,
blender, pot, two pitchers (it continues on the far wall with cameras)
Bottom Shelf: two saxophones (one has a mean warp), tambourine, flugelhorn,
bongos.  Behind this shelf is a sign:


On Table: stereo, two stereos(?), hourglass, two clocks
Below Table: TV, two lanterns, various records (one says ``BMF'').  A sign is
also there:

5       r
    o   00
f     $1--

Behind Homer (from cashier's POV)

On near wall: painting (looks like an amoeba)
To Homer's right:
Top shelf: something, clock, gas can
Middle shelf: bongos, salt and pepper shakers, soprano sax
Bottom Shelf: stack of dishes, wrenches (possibly other tools, too)
Lying around: armor, umbrellas, vase, drum set, harp, bow and arrows, dart
board (w/darts), bike, oxygen tanks, telescope

At Dr. Monroe's Family Therapy Center

Sign outside

F A  M I  L Y
C E  N T  E R

On Wall

(the brackets are my guess at what wasn't shown)

[large question mark]
  [ ]1

People in the waiting room

Random family
A family wearing ``I'm with stupid T-shirts'' (even the kid)
Ideal family from the picnic (looking pretty angry)

In Monroe's office

Two diplomas (we can tell that they're diplomas because the only legible word
on them is ``Diploma''--in big, red, olde english letters)

Animation Goofs

= At the picnic, some people change colors while clapping.
* When Homer threatens Barney, he says, ``Here's *five* you haven't met,'' yet
  he has only four fingers.
= The logo in the window doesn't look the same from the outside and inside
= Marge counts the money in the college fund by increments of one, yet the
  three coins that she counts are silver.

Comments and other observations

References to previous episodes

    [mg47] A deep cleansing breath during a visit to a family therapist.


This is the only episode where the family actually comes out in
front financially at the end of the show.

Boring distribution restrictions

Well, I guess you're looking for some kind of distribution notice down here.
I <still> haven't thought of one yet, but as long as you only make `fair use'
of this I really don't mind you redistributing this to other Simpson
fanatics.  Ciao, Chris J Baird, Esq.  Updated 1999 Andrew A. Gill.
Unattributed discrepancies between this and the previous revisions are mine.
Warning: submitting notes without first reading the capsule may annoy the
capsule compiler to his/her very core and make him/her want to go on a
kill-crazy rampage. If ingested, do not induce vomiting.

HTML conversion by
Howard Jones( on Sat 10 Sept 1994