[4F02] Treehouse of Horror VII

Treehouse of Horror VII                     Written by Ken Keeler, Dan Greaney
                                                            and David S. Cohen
                                                  Directed by Mike B. Anderson
Production code: 4F02                      Original airdate in U.S.: 27-Oct-96
Capsule revision C, 14-Jun-97            Original Airdate in Canada: 26-Oct-96

"TV Guide" Synopsis {ljs}

Three segments comprise "Treehouse of Horror VII," the annual Hallowe'en installment of the series, including aliens who invade the bodies of President Clinton and Presidential candidate Bob Dole; Bart and Lisa discover Bart's evil twin in the attic.

Title sequence

Opening :- It's Halloween night, and Homer proceeds to light a jack-o'-lantern. The pumpkin ignites instantly, and the fire spreads to Homer's hand, then to his entire body. He runs back and forth, screaming, as "The Simpsons Halloween Special VII" appears on-screen. Couch :- The Grim Reaper is sitting on the couch. Maggie, Lisa, Bart, Marge and Homer try to reach the couch, but drop dead in front of it, falling one on another. The Grim Reaper puts up his feet on the pile of bodies and sighs contentedly. [It seems we can bid farewell to the tombstones... --ed]

Did you notice...

... all the stuff in the attic? [see FFF] ... the tiny eggheads resemble Prof. Frink, and Benjamin, Doug, and Gary from 1F02? ... the alien grappling hook used to hoist Homer is the same as those found in the game costing $.50 in which you attempt to retrieve cheap carny prizes? ... Lisa is the only person in the auditorium who does not cheer the candidates? ... the alien's air masks immediately pop out and cover their heads after their disguises are removed? Dale G. Abersold: ... this is the first major role for Kang and Kodos since the "Monkey's Paw" segment of ToH II? ... David S. Cohen has written the final segment of the Halloween episodes for three consecutive years? Steven Boswell: ... Hugo is considerably stronger than Bart despite the fact he has been living in the attic his whole life? ... the ships that are attacking Bart can travel in one ear and out the other without damaging his brain? ... Homer actually volunteers to be probed? Frederic Briere: ... the picture of a Lincoln-like man in the hallway? ... Maggie gasping for air, turning around when Homer and Marge come home, and pointing to the attic just like Bart and Lisa? ... the claw marks on the front door when Hugo escapes? ... Dr. Hibbert's number begins with 3312? ... in the flashback, Bart and Hugo seem to be linked by a slim piece of skin, without any bone or organ in common (despite the x-rays)? ... Marge doesn't provide Hugo with decent clothes before dinner? ... Lisa's statue is wearing her nightgown? ... the tooth at the end of the tub's scepters? ... Bart distinguishes the smell of rum? (Do they serve that kind of liquor in Legitimate Businessmen Clubs?) ... people turn around and stare when Kang/Kodos are walking down the streets, hand in hand? ... Homer is stalking Kang and Kodos? ... in their last speech, Kodos applauds Kang, but Kang does not return the favor? ... Homer speaks about America's beloved candidates? Don Del Grande: ... Lisa calls Snowball II "she"? ... Snowball II wears four booties and a baby bonnet (which are blue, despite being a "she")? ... Homer's attic door has a cord with a ball at the end of it, just like the Flanders have (in 1F22)? ... while Lisa can reach the Flanders attic cord by herself, she needs Bart and Maggie's help here? ... Maggie isn't scared by Hugo? (This isn't new; she wasn't scared by the giant ants in 1F13) ... the characters in the flashback look as if they were lifted out of 8F10? ... for someone who's been in an attic for ten years eating buckets of fish heads, Hugo certainly knows how to handle a plate and a glass (when he first meets Bart)? ... Lisa's missing tooth is in the same spot as Hugo's? ... in the time it took Lisa to eat a pancake, the tub people went from Stone Age to Renaissance? (How fast do these people have children, anyway?) ... when Lisa lands in the tub, there's a trumpet fanfare? (Wouldn't a Lisa-based planet have saxophone fanfares instead?) ... the tub people's God has "only" 8 fingers and 8 toes? (In the "real" world, God is shown with 10 fingers and 10 toes) ... when Lisa asks for shoes, someone suggests socks as well, although Lisa normally only wears socks with formal outfits? ... the aliens use a grappling device to lift humans into their ship instead of the beams they used in 7F04? ... the new flag has Kang holding a skull? ... when Homer says "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos", Kodos whips him? Jason Hancock: ... Bart has a Space Mutants doll on his dresser during both "The Thing and I" and "The Genesis Tub?" ... Bart's room is cleaner in the second act than in the first act? ... the throne Lisa sits on is shaped like a tooth? ... Sherri and Terri have an ant farm for their science fair project? ... Ralph's project isn't thrown away? ... Kodos accents the second syllable of "Clinton?" ... the presidential debate has a $5.00 admission fee? Ryan Johnson: ... Bart uses Maggie to hold the flashlight when he is searching for his evil (good) twin? ... when bart smashes the city he chips the tooth? ... the mini armada flies through one of Bart's ears and right out the other? Pamela S. Klemm: ... Bart holds Maggie like a lantern in the attic? ... Homer planned to watch hockey the night Hugo got loose? ... everyone but Homer is eating breakfast in their pajamas? ... the lasers in Bart's eyes when the ship attack inside his head? Haynes Lee: ... little people look like Smurfs(tm) under microscope? ... Maggie's dress is white in Part II? ... Clinton's and Dole's nether regions are briefly visible but the animators did not draw in the naughty bits? ... Marge hates "Slick Willy" Clinton? ... the giant ray gun looks like Mr. Burns slanted drilling rig? Ricardo Lafaurie: ... Lisa sleeps with the cat? David Ney: ... Hugo is taller than Bart? ... the Itchy doll on Lisa's bookshelf? ... the box factory behind Bob Dole? ... Bob Dole holding his pencil while he is abducted? Damian Penny: ... Martin could come up with nothing better than a milk-carton ukelele? ... Martin's Hawaiian grass-skirt outfit? ... there's a black man in the Republican National Committee? (Now THAT's surreal humor!) ... the Democratic National Committee guy looks like George Stephanopolous? ... Clinton sleeps in until noon? Ana Robles: ... although all he's ever had to eat is fisheads, Hugo is taller and somewhat more fit than Bart? ... after punching Hugo, Hibbert looks at his watch, as if to check for time of death? [I believe he was taking his pulse --ed] ... miniature Frink has square glasses? ... Skinner considers a milk carton ukelele impressive? ... the camara doesn't hold of Kang and Kodos for the full time that they laugh? Benjamin Jay Robinson: ... Richard Sakai is listed as Richard "In the midst of retiring" Sakai? [Both he and with David Silverman are retiring from "The Simpsons" this season.] ... even in freedom, fish heads are Hugo's snack of choice? ... Bart proves himself to be a nerd, since he must conduct electricity to zap Lisa? ... Bill Clinton doesn't sleep with Hillary? Liam J. Scanlan: ... there is no tombstones in the opening? ... the Grim Reaper in the couch gag got a "Starring" credit? ... Dr. Hibbert resorts to violence? ... Dr. Hibbert stays for dinner? ... Lisa loves waffles? ... the SNPP cooling towers behind the fishing lake? ... Kang played Dole and Kodos played Clinton? ... Bart is considered "evil" twice this episode? Rick Senger: ... Homer carries a golf iron to the attic with him? ... Homer apparently follows hockey (tells Bart to tape game)? ... Dr. Hibbert appears in the Simpsons' home out of nowhere without warning TWICE and no one seems to care? ... Dr. Hibbert has a paper cutter in his examining room? ... Lisa's tooth comes from her upper left quadrant (probably an incisor based on location, though it looks like a molar)? ... Lisa's tooth is wider than her finger? ... Bill Clinton apparently doesn't sleep in the same bed with Hillary? ... The Clinton/Dole debate has a $5.00 entry fee? ... Marge cheers for Clinton's nonsensical "twirling" speech? ... Homer is familiar with the navigational controls of Kodos' spaceship? ... Bob Dole coins the term "corn chute" as a synonym for butthole? ... KANG wins the election, meaning that the country actually elected Bob Dole president, not Clinton? Robert Vasquez: ... Kodos shudders as Homer bares his hairy yellow butt?

Voice credits

- Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Hugo) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) [Credited as "The Reaper"] - Hank Azaria (Frink, Bill Watson, "Why do bad things happen to good people?", "She'll want socks, too.", "I believe I'll vote for a 3rd party candidate.") - Harry Shearer (Hibbert, tiny man, "Why am I so fat?", Skinner, Kang, Kodos, Bob Dole, Kent Brockman, Announcer for Dole) - Special Guest Voice - Phil Hartman (Bill Clinton) [I admit, I guessed many one-liners; I'll have to train my ear to identufy those --ed]

Movie (and other) references

+ "Day of the Locust" {jh} - "Day of the Cohen" in the opening credits + "The King and I", musical by Rogers & Hammerstein. - "The Thing and I" + "Fish Heads", song by Barnes & Barnes - Homer humming this song "Chinatown" {dga} - "Do you know what happens to nosey detectives/kids?" "The Exorcist" {jm} - strange sounds come from the attic (which also has a pulldown stepladder) + "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", classic novel by Victor Hugo - Hugo's name - Hugo is similar to Quasimodo - a difformed creature living recluse in an attic Pap Smear {bjr} - Dr. Hibbert's "soul smear" might be related to this test for cervical cancer "Basket Case" {dp} - siamese twin wants to be re-connected to the other "Frankenstein", classic horror tale by Mary Shelley - creating life out of discarded body parts (ie pigeon-rat) + "SimCity 2000", computer games {dga} - That's what Lisa's city looks like + "Battleground", short story by Stephen King {av} - someone is attacked by tiny spaceships / army men who seek revenge - note that the next story in the book ("Trucks") was made into the movie "Maximum Overdrive", co-starring Yeardley Smith + "Star Wars" {dp} - spaceships attacking Bart similar to attack on the Death Star "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" {hl} - Miniature alien race retaliate by sending miniature space fleet to earth (Bart) + "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" {bjr} - The man who asked, "Why do bad things happen to good people," must have read this book + "Citizen Kane", classic film by Orson Welles - "Citizen Kang" spoofs the title of this classic movie ~ "Saturday Night Live" - Phil Hartman doing Clinton + "Independance Day (ID4)" - shadow of Bart's head moving over the crowd {dp} - alien ship over the White House, firing a laser beam / grappling hook directly through the middle - "Inauguration Day" on-screen + "2001: A Space Odyssey" - The corpses of the real Dole and Clinton drift into space like the body of Frank Poole. + "Earth vs. the Flying Saucers", 50's movie by Ray Harryhausen - flying saucer crashing into the Capitol dome + "V" Television Series {rs} - unmasking the alien leader(s) "Scooby-Doo" - Ripping off the masks of the villains + "Bad to the Bone" song by George Thorogood {jh} - "Brad to the Bone Bird" in the closing credits

Previous episode references

- "Citizen Kane" References {dga} - [7F01] "Is your boss governor? / Not yet son, not yet." - [9F05] The "There is a Man" musical number - [1F01] Basically the entire episode ("Rosebud") - [2F02] Sideshow Bob's campaign for mayor - Clinton and Perot references {eh} - [9F13] Bill Clinton is in the audience of Krusty's 29th Anniversary Show. - [1F11] Bart's autobiography is "mostly about Ross Perot". - [1F15] Bill plays the saxophone with the The Little White Girls Blues Quartet. - [1F21] To Burns: "I'm happy you finally found love." - [1F21] Homer reads a Ross Perot pamphlet. - [SC#24] The presidential candidates visit Springfield {dn} - Bongo Comics' "Treehouse of Horror #1" - "Little Shop of Homers" Lisa Simpson, as part of a science fair project, creates life. - [MG13] Vases in which the kids were thought to be hiding {mk} - [7G04] Bart: "My finger slipped!" {av} - [7G06], [2F32] Bart has a scar/stiches - [7G08] Marge twiddles the phone cord {av} - [7F04] Homer is abducted by Kang and Kodos {hl} - [7F06] Bart: "You can't watch me/them every minute." {th} - [7F07] OFF has a vent system - [7F11] A Simpson eats large quantaties of raw fish {ljs} - [7F11], [7F20] Homer goes fishing {ljs} - [7F12], [8F10] Hibbert is seen with an afro {jh} - [7F14] Marge knows Hibbert's phone number - [8F02] Kang and Kodos take over the earth {jh} - [8F02] Kang's sceptre {av} - [8F02] Radio Shack is mentioned {jh} - [8F04], [1F02] Homer randomly presses buttons at console {hl} - [8F05] Boring old religious questions - [8F10] Bart is delivered by Dr. Hibbert {hl} - [8F11] Homer: "Don't make me come down there!" - [8F15] Homer doesn't know how many kids he has; Marge sets him right {av} - [8F22] Martin's lute (cf. carton ukulele) - [9F01] OFF has a waffle iron (Perhaps it was since Homer's "Moon Waffle" that "the iron's been in the shop forever"?) {ak} - [9F10] Hibbert separates siamese twins {dga} - [9F14] Bart wins a science fair over Lisa {hl} - [1F01] Humans are pictured as slaves - [1F02] Benjamin, Doug, and Gary (the college nerds) {dn} - [1F07] Hugo looks just as goofy as Bart did w/ the hair salve on {ljs} - [1F09] OFF has a portable TV - [1F11] The box factory {dn} - [1F13] Homer: "Crash the space shuttle into the White House" {dn} - [1F13] Homer flies in outer space {jh} - [1F19] Dr. Hibbert's investigation into evil (cf. the evil gene) {dga} - [1F21] Ross Perot is mentionned - [1F22] Lisa trying to open an attic trap {ddg} - [2F02] A political debate is held in Springfield {jh} - [2F03] A Simpson is shrinked/enlarged - [2F03] Homer's hand in the jack-o'-lantern is similar to his hand being stuck in the toaster - [2F05] OFF is still a hockey family. - "Take the hockey game!" {ak} - [2F17] Bart is tied up in a similar way - [3F01] One of Lisa's baby teeth falls out {dga} - [3F04] Kang and Kodos are newlyweds (cf. now brother and sister) {ak} - [3F06] Homer removes bushes to reveal Walt Whitman's grave (cf. the flying saucer) {jh} - [3F08] Alien probes are mentionned - [3F13] New words are invented: "De-bigulator" (cf. "embiggen") {ks}

Freeze frame fun

The opening credits {ddg}

[commas indicate names that were on separate lines, except as noted]

    - Created by RAT GROENING

    - Co-Executive Producer GEORGE "EXIT WOUND" MEYER
    - Co-Executive Producer MIKE SCARY
    - Co-Executive Producer STEVE PUMPKIN
    - Supervising Producer LOU "BOO" COLLIER
    - Supervising Producer THE ABOMINABLE DR. KEELER
    - Producer DAY OF THE COHEN
    - Producer WRETCHED APPEL
    - Consulting Producer IAN TOMBSTONE-GRAHAM
    - Consulting Producer DECADENT DAVID MIRKIN
    - Co-Producer COLIN D.O.A. LEWIS
    - Produced by J. MONSTROSITY MENDEL
    - Produced by DIABLO SILVERMAN
    - Written by The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And
    - Directed by MUTANT MIKE B. ANDERSON

Things in the attic: {jr}

    - Ping-pong table
    - Fishing hat
    - Dress manequin
    - Skis and skiing poles
    - Box of bottles
    - Ringo Starr painting
    - Treasure chest
    - Plastic (water? bleach?) bottle
    - Mary Worth telephone
    - Bart's electric guitar
    - Golf clubs
    - A stack of blue/green dog dishes
    - Box labeled "Be Sharps"
    - SpineMelter 2000
    - Boxes of Lisa Lionheart
    - Box of Homer's autobiography
    - "I Didn't Do It" T-Shirt
    - Lamp
    - Empty Frame
    - Barrel
    - Bicycle
    - And lots and lots of boxes, orned with dust and spider webs

Homer's autobiography:

      I HARDLY
             [pic of Homer]

Lisa's carton:

     [tooth]                   o
               WILL  COLA       \o
     [small]    DISSOLVE        o-o
     [print]    A TOOTH?      o-o  o  [that's a molecule drawing...]
     [diagram]                   \o

Close-up of Lisa's small print

   [let me know if you can do better]

         WILL SEER TO
      ???   TOOTH  IN

Bart's carton

       BY            [handwritten, with obviously no care at all]

Exhibits at science fair

    - Bart: Lisa's tub universe
    - Janey: ???
    - Ralph: ???
    - Martin: Milk carton ukulele
    - Wendell: Some sort of molecule model
    - Milhouse: Volcano
    - Sherri & Terri: Ant farm

Notables in crowd at debate {jh}

    - Third row from top:  Lenny, Apu
    - Fourth row:  Moe, Carl, Bart, Lisa, Marge (holding Maggie)
    - Sixth row:  Mr. and Mrs. Van Houten
                     [the next person looks like Akira from 7F23]

The closing credits: {ddg}

    - Executive Producers: THE LATE BILL OAKLEY &
                           THE ESTATE OF JOSH WEINSTEIN
    - Executive Producers: JAMES HELL BROOKS; MUD GROENING;
                           SAM "SAYONARA" SIMON
    - Starring ATENALLETSAC NAD (Say Three Times)
               GHOULIE KAVNER
               NANCY HEART-FRIGHT
               THE REAPER
               HANK AAAAAAHH!-ZARIA
           and HARRY SHEARER
    - Special Guest Voice PHIL "BRAIN-ON-A-STICK" HARTMAN
    - Animation Executive Producer PHIENDISH PHIL ROMAN
    - Animation Producers BILL "DON'T SAY BOO" SCHULTZ;
                          MISCHIEVOIS MICHAEL WOLF
    - Executive Consultant BRAD TO THE BONE BIRD
    - Executive Story Editor DONICK SCARY
                    RON "THE ONE-HEADED MAN" HAGUE
    - Associate Producer ALISON CHAINS ELIOT
      * Music Decomposed by SHEER TERROR CLAUSEN
    - Casting by BONE-EATER PIETILA
    - Animation Production Manger for Gracie Films KRAZY-MAN KUWAHARA
    - Post Production Coordinators DOMI "BLACKULA" BRAUD; THING WARNER
    - Dialogue Sound Editors BOBBY "THE SCARY MOOK" MACKSTON;
                             TERRIBLE TERRY GREENE; NORMAN "BATES"
      * Music Masher LOBOTOMIZED LEDESMA
    - Re-Recording Mixer RUSTY "BLADE" SMITH; BORIS ORLOFF
    - Creative Consultant MAD GROENING
    - Executive Creative Consultant JAMES HELL BROOKS

Animation, continuity, and other goofs

[Remember that in Halloween 'sodes, continuity is more or less irrelevant. In that aspect, I didn't include reported inconsistencies between "Citizen Kang" and "Hungry Are the Damned". --ed] c The closed-captions have Homer saying "D'oh!" and screaming in the couch scene, but nothing is heard. {jh} "The Thing and I" * Hugo couldn't have gotten into the air vents if he was chained up in the attic. {sb} + There was never an air vent in the kitchen or in Bart's room. {sb} + Wouldn't Bart and Lisa have noticed the strange noises coming out of the attic a long time ago? {mar} + OFF's attic had stairs leading to it in 7F18; now, there's a pull-down ladder. {rl} = Pictures and a table that were in the hall in the first scene are gone when the kids go into the attic. {mar} + Homer must have had those attic windows put in for dramatic effect, because the house sure didn't have them before {bjr} * Dr. Hibbert arrives in the pouring rain bearing no raincoat nor umbrella, yet he is dry as a bone. {rs} + The birth of Bart, besides the obvious Siamese twin flaw, has another continuity error: Homer was there in 8F10. {rl} * Hugo shouldn't have teeth right when he's born. {sb} + Wouldn't Bart have noticed his hideous scar at some point in his life? {mar} * Bart closes an wide open window, yet it's pouring outside. c Captioning quotes: "I went mad after they cut us apart". * A pigeon couldn't buoy a rat. {th} * How did Dr. Hibbert get in if Bart locked all the doors and windows? {jh} = Bart loses his big hideous scar when Marge unties him. {bjr} + Lisa has turkey on her plate. {mar} c Before everyone laughs at Hugo eating his napkin, captioning indicates someone is gasping. * The vents from the attic extend into rooms on both the first and second floor. {th} "The Genesis Tub" = Lisa loses what appears to be an incisor or canine tooth, but the tooth in the tub is a molar. {av} = Lisa's missing tooth grows back the next day. {ddg} = The "giant" spaceship manages to shrink quite a lot when it enters Bart's room and when it lands back in the tub. {ddg} * The tub city's population seems much too large for it's size. {sb} * For the tub's inhabitants to learn English, Lisa should have spoken every word they know. For the vocabulary they seem to possess, they must have listened to her for a *very* long time. * There is no apparent damage to the tub world when Skinner removes the lid. Knowing how much few care Bart must have taken when transporting the tub from Lisa's room to the school (riding Otto's bus in-between), this wouldn't fit in any Richter scale they might have... = When Lisa is shrunk, she has her slippers on her feet. At the end, when she asks for shoes, the slippers have disappeared. {ak} "Citizen Kang" * Kang & Kodos don't know squat about Dole and Clinton, yet they can locate them in a second. * The aliens travel some distance to pick up Dole and Clinton, yet their ship is right over the lake again when they throw Homer off. {ljs} = Clinton's audience on TV has miniature flags, which are frozen in thin air. {dk} * Wouldn't most people at a Dole rally cheer when he says "No abortions for anyone?" {mar} = Clinton and Dole kept shifting position while in suspended animation. {mar} = There are two metal clasps on the tubes Clinton and Dole are in, but when Homer is driving the ship, we only see one clasp from the back. {dk} * The aliens "bio-dupliacte," yet Homer simply rips of their masks to reveal them. {ak}


[Due to the divergence of opinion on the subject, and because this was the first episode in several months, I included many reviews, and allowed them to be much longer than usual. --ed] Dale G. Abersold: The Simpsons return from their excessively long summer hiatus...to a triumph! This is easily the best Halloween episode since the fourth one. The Thing and I: sick and twisted. I loved it! A-. The Genesis Tub: Too bad Lisa Goddess isn't omnipotent. A. Citizen Kang: Whaddya bet the writers are all voting for Nader? A. (A) Jennifer M. Blaske: I think the first section was the best - I particularly liked the references to the paper cutter, etc, which really did throw me for a loop. The second segment, about Lisa, was cute ("I've created Lutherans!") but I think I would've liked it more if the ending had been more resolved. I liked how the third segment was so topical, but found myself bored halfway into. It could be, though, that after two hours of the Simpsons I was just starting to zone out. (B) Stephan Bonneville: "The Thing and I" was just average, with the only funny moment being the "pigeonrat" scene. "The Genesis Tub" was one of the worst and most forgettable Treehouse of Horror sketches in quite a while, while "Citizen Kang" was just boring. (C-) Jesse Burgheimer: Overall, this episode was a big disappointment, being the anticipated Season Premiere, the anticipated Halloween episode, and the fact that we had to wait until the last week of October to see a new "Simpsons" episode. It made me want to VOMIT in TERROR! (D) Chris Courtois: The Thing and I: Essentially a shaggy-dog story with a predictable punchline (don't worry, Bart. I wasn't surprised) livened up with a few good gags (the routine soul smear, Marge's bottle-feeding comment, Lisa's Radio Shack crack). Hearing Homer singing Barnes&Barnes' "Fishheads" was amusing enough to push this up to a B-. The Genesis Tub: Good premise, but it didn't make much of an impression. Not bad, but not great either. B. Citizen Kang: Some good satirical jabs at campaigning, although Season 2's "Two Cars In Every Garage; Three Eyes On Every Fish" remains the series' best attack on the American political system. The two-party system jab was on-target. One problem this segment has is that it was *too* topical, and will be dated when it reruns next year, and probably won't make sense to people who see it in syndication 10 years from now. B+ Overall: Overall not as inspired as previous outings, but still entertaining. (B) Don Del Grande: The first story took too long setting up the premise to actually go anywhere with Hugo, but the other two stories were closer to what is to be expected from Halloween episodes - and both had decent surprise endings (Lisa is stuck in her own world; one of the aliens ends up President) (A-) Jason Hancock: The season premiere gave us a mixed bag of Halloween material. "The Thing and I" was rather dull and had a forced ending. (C+) The Professor Frink clone stole the show in "The Genesis Tub." (B) And "Citizen Kang" was hilarious, but the nude Clinton and Dole bit was overdone somewhat. (A-) Overall, this definitely wasn't the best of the Halloween specials, but it was still decent enough. (B) Patrick Hayden: Well, the new season has arrived, and I'm beginning to wish there was a game seven after all. THOH VII was pretty awful, at least as far as I'm concerned. It ceratinly was nowhere near the quality of VI, which aired right before, and I believe it was the worst Halloween Special in Simpson's History. Nothing stands out as laugh out loud humor. In "The Thing and I", the pace seemed off. It's hard to describe, but it felt wrong somehow. The only thing I laughed at was the paper cutter bit. Otherwise, it blew. "The Genesis Tub" was a better idea, but the total execution came off as unfunny and dull. The ending was sudden and relatively pointless. As was the ending on the first segment. "Citizen Kang" was better, with some real laugh lines like the whole LaRouche was right about the nude conspiracy thing. Still, there was ample ability to lampoon both Clinton and Dole, but we only got Marge's dull "Slick Willie" line. And again, the ending was sudden and pointless. It had me yearning for the sharp wit of Jennifer Crittenden(sarcasam). (D) Tony Hill: This is the least compelling of the Hallowe'en specials so far. There were some classic moments, such as the urn gag, and Hibbert's knock on political correctness and the one on Radio Shack. But it wasn't up to the magic of past THOH episodes. And the sendoff of Clinton and Dole was much too mild. (C+) Ryan Johnson: I thought this was a horrible special. Every single episode had no, or a very sketchy, bad ending, unlike nearly all of the previous specials. I was very dissapointed with this episode, and if it is an indicator of what's ahead, look out. (C-) Andrew Krupowicz: This episode got better with every part. Overall it's better than last year's Tree House of Horror. The people's questions for their god (Lisa) and "Bob Dole's" tackling of the abortion issue were hilarious. This episode looks like a sign of good episodes to come. (A) Matthew Kurth: Three really great ideas which either never went anywhere, or were set up well before realizing they were out of time. Absolutely no pacing and no discipline in the writing to the time limits involved. The first specials dealt with stories that could be dealt with in a ~7 minute time span rather than overachieving and winding up with a final product that falls way short of expectations. Perhaps THOH8 should have only 2 shorts instead of 3, or perhaps the writers should pick something they don't have to push so hard to finish (or not finish) in such a short amount of time. I really loved where "The Thing and I" and "The Genesis Tub" were going, kudos must go to whoever came up with the ideas. But what we got were only glimpses of the potential whole, the squandered potential of not only pushing of the envelope, but seeing it through with the careful construction and consideration that went into the series before the Great Exodus in Season Four. Smoke, but no fire, and alas, that seems to be the trademark of the current production staff. (C+) Haynes Lee: A passable THOH but has no linking material and abrupt endings. A little too much of OFF and no memorable lines from the too few secondary characters. (B-) Ricardo Lafaurie: Better than last year's. I even liked "The Thing and I", after I thought I'd never like Ken Keeler. "Genesis Tub" was a blast. "Citizen Kang" gave me a bad feeling: too much political stuff. I agree with the guy who said "Abortions for all" was tastless. And I'm not buying that Kang and Kodos are brother and... SISTER. (B-) Ondre Lombard: As all THoHs go, this was probably the worst. Instead of creating a horror story, this episode succeeded in just putting the family in unbelieveable fantasy and philosophical situations because they can do it without worrying about breaking continuity laws (since its Treehouse of Horror). All the shorts lacked terror and completeness. Almost all of them had abrupt endings to them. As Mr. Kurth said, the first season's THoH didn't leave a sour taste in your mouth because all three shorts delt with situations that weren't so complicated, that didn't ahve so many levels to them than 7 minutes couldn't sustain them all. These shorts deserved to have more to them than 7 minutes (Except Citizen Kang, which I could've totally done without). (C-) David Ney: Although it may not have been the greatest Halloween special of all time, it was still pretty good. The Dr. Hibbert / Knife gags were great, and so was the pigeon rat. I also loved the political commentary. (B+) Damian Penny: "The Thing and I" - Bart finding his evil twin in the attic seems ripe with comic possibilities, but this segment was just not that funny, mainly because it wasn't quite as absurd as most of the other Halloween sketches. Grade: C "The Genesis Tub" - This one, with Lisa accidently creating her own universe in a science project, was better, largely thanks to the presence of a Frink lookalike in Lisa's kingdom. Problem was a surprising lack of movie references and parodies - there were a few, but there were plenty of opportunities for more. Grade: B "Citizen Kang" - Now, THIS is more like it! [...] This one - especially "Dole"'s speeches - provided some of the biggest laughs this show has given me in a long time, and proves that our favorite show still has what it takes. Grade: A OVERALL - not bad, but probably the worst of all the Haloween specials. (B) Mark Aaron Richey: A moderately amusing outing this time around. None of the three stories were out and out duds, but both "The Thing and I" and "The Genesis Tub" had abrupt, unsatisfying conclusions. Only "Citizen Kang" was able to sustain itself to the end. However, all three were, for the most part, well written. Hopefully, this is a good indication of the season to come. "Thing" and "Genesis" each rate a B. "Kang" rates an A-. (B+) Ana Robles: Not the best Tree House of Horror. 'The Thing and I' wasn't bad (the vase joke cracked me up), I liked Genesis Tub, although except for Frink, I didn't find it anything outstandingly funny in it. I was rather disapointed with 'Citizen Krang' because I was expecting some political humor, of which there was almost none. I was suprised that Krang and Kodos we're that funny this time. (C+) Matt Rose: I liked the plot ideas very much, but there wasn't much to laugh at. Dr, Hibbert's quip about the "Hillbillies prefer to be called 'sons of the soil'" and Lisa's "I've created Lutherans" were the only real memorable lines. Still, not a bad episode. Maybe if last year's special hadn't aired before it I would have though more highly of it. (B-) Liam J. Scanlan: A good solid episode. The best of the Treehouse of Horrors. "The Thing and I" wasn't that good at all. A couple of good laughs. I give it a 6/10. Both "The Genesis Tub" and "Citizen Kang" made me ROTFLMAO a hundred times. I give both a perfect ten! (A-) Rick Senger: After more than four months, it was unlikely the show could meet expectations, but I wasn't particularly impressed. Halloween 'sodes have always been classic, but while this one was funny, it was the second worst of the seven (the first being the worst). The Kodos/Kang bit had some excellent political satire and was generally strong. The Genesis Tub was only okay, despite the thought provoking religious angle and weird premise. Bart's conjoined twin just didn't do it for me. Too predictable and almost no real gags, funny or otherwise. The Thing And I: C The Genesis Tub: B Citizen Kang: A (B) Aaron Varhola: Not up to most of the previous THOH episodes; more of an emphasis on storytelling, with fewer references, but all three shorts had problems leading up to an ending. The Thing and I: Interesting premise, with a few gags, but never seemed to go anywhere. C. The Genesis Tub: Good, but disappointing. A lot of deep theological questions posed about the relation of a people to their God, but a rushed ending hurt this one. B+. Citizen Kang: Vicious political satire, and Kang's speech "twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom" is an instant .sig line quote. David S. Cohen's political satire is effective, but the ending is a bit too abrupt. (A-) Yours Truly: A somewhat enjoyable episode, but I expected way more out of a Treehouse of Horror. "The Thing and I" was too cliche and predictable, "The Genesis Tub" was rather nice but not great, and "Citizen Kang" aimed at a much lower level than I thought The Simpsons capable of. Combined with abrupt endings and out of character scenes, this clearly rates in my book as the worst Treehouse of Horror in many years. (C+) AVERAGE GRADE: B- (2.75) NIELSEN RATING: 10.5 (ranked 31st out of 110) {ol}

Comments and other observations

Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Roly-Poly Fish Heads...

Pamela S. Klemm:  "Fish Heads" is a novelty song by Barnes & Barnes,
   which is an alias name for "Lost in Space" star Bill Mumy and a
   friend of his. Anyway, the song is funny and has been on everyone of
   Dr. Demento's Top 25 song of the year countdown.

Mike Clawson provides us with the lyrics of that song, which he
   attributes to the album "Woobaha" (1980, Rhino Records):

      Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Roly Poly Fish Heads
      Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Eat them up, Yum
      In the morning, laughing, happy fish heads
      In the evening, floating in the soup
      Ask a fish head anything you want to
      They won't answer, they can't talk
      I took a fish head out to see a movie
      Didn't have to pay to get it in
      They can't play baseball, they don't wear sweaters
      They're not good dancers, they don't play drums
      roly poly fish heads
      are never seen drinking cappucino
      in Italian restaurants with Oriental women

Rick Diamant: Mostly famous for playing Will Robinson on Lost in Space,
   Bill Mumy also played the little boy in the episode `It's a Good
   Life' on the original Twilight Zone, which was spoofed on the middle
   episode of Treehouse of Horror II.  What a coincidence!

Today's viewers will recognize him as Lennier on Babylon 5. Funny
   enough, Lennier is a Minbari, which race can be easily spotted by the
   big bone they have on the head. This has often lead Humans to call
   them "boneheads" -- coincidence?  

I think I'll bottle-feed that one

Benjamin Jay Robinson:  Actually, I thing Marge ended up bottle-feeding
   all of her children. An experiment conducted by pediatricians
   discovered that babies use one sucking technique for bottles and
   pacifiers, and a different one for breast-feeding.  Mothers who
   breast-feed should not use pacifiers, the doctors warned, because
   this could lead to -- I am not making this up - - a condition called
   "nipple confusion."

   Okay, it was only tangentially related to the story, but how often do
   you get to say "nipple confusion" in polite conversation?

Attack of the Kung Pao Chicken

Benjamin Jay Robinson: The health risks of alcohol and tobacco are well
   known to anyone not in the employ of the beer and cigarette
   industries.  The hazards of Chinese food are a little more obscure.
   Monosodium glutamate (MSG) used to be a frequent ingredient in
   take-out Chinese cookery (and popular in snack foods such as Doritos,
   as well).  Unfortunately, some people have a bad allergic reaction to
   MSG, and people on low-sodium diets should also avoid it.  Chinese
   restaurants now offer low-MSG dishes so often that the phrase, "No
   MSG," has virtually become a cliche slogan.

   The story does not end there, however.  A recent study indicts some
   popular dishes as being high in fat.  The nutritionists publishing
   the study listed Kung Pao chicken as the worst offender.  The Chinese
   food lobby contested this, saying that in people in China ate dishes
   like Kung Pao chicken only occasionally, while staple foods, like
   rice, were actually quite healthy.  I suppose next they'll find
   something in the soy sauce....

Didn't I see you before, little guys?

Ah, how many references were given to The Genesis Tub...

Harv Laser:  Genesis Tub was a parody of of an old Zone (whose title I
   forget) in which two astronauts land on a seemingly barren asteroid
   to do ship repairs. [...] While working on their rocket, the other
   spaceman wanders off and discovers a microscopic civilization near a
   tiny rivulet of water. He starts to lord it over them, literally,
   and they worship him as a god as the tiny people in Lisa's tub
   worshipped her, even building a huge statue of him as the tub people
   did for Lisa. However he is "evil" (like Bart) and not benevolent
   and caring (like Lisa). To prove his god-hood to the tiny people he
   stomps his boots on parts of their city, like Bart's "Uh oh, my
   finger slipped!"

Alan Hamilton:  Actually, I think it's a reference to Theodore
   Sturgeon's "Microcosmic God".  This is a short story published in
   1941 about a man who creates miniture life that evolves quickly into
   an advanced civilization (the Neoterics) who think of him as a god. 
   His financer turns against him, and trys to destroy him and the
   Neoterics. In the story, the Neoterics create an impeneratable
   shield to protect themselves.

Daniel L. Dreibelbis:  To me, it's also reminiscient of an episode of
   the original OUTER LIMITS called "Wolf 359", in which a biological
   culture made from a meteorite from that area of space becomes a
   civilization and also advances rapidly to a nuclear age.  (the name
   of the episode was the inspiration years later for the area of space
   where the Federation battle the Borg and get their butts kicked on

Rick Senger: Lisa's creation of a new microscopic life form in a small
   dish reminds one of Wesley Crusher's creation of Nanites, a new
   microscopic life form, in a third season episode of ST:TNG.

   Lisa's miniaturization and integration with the futuristic city she
   created is mighty similar to a famous Superman comic book from the
   late 50's in which Superman gets shrunk down to size to communicate/
   help a futuristic/highly evolved city of Kryptonians called Kandor.

Aaron Varhola:  I'd have to say that the city itself was inspired by
   SimCity 2000, especially Bart's interference with it. Who else among
   us has saved their city, then watched the fun as they unleash
   disaster after disaster on their poor little city? :)
      [I know I did -- ed]

Funny, I thought that some German guy created Lutherans

Benjamin Jay Robinson:  Once upon a time, all of Western Christendom
   was united under the Roman Catholic Church and the Pope.  The
   members of the clergy were only human, however, and fell victim to
   the usual array of human vices.  The Church sometimes appeared more
   interested in other people's purses than their souls.  (Among other
   things, it was even possible to by pardons from sins by donating
   money to the Church.) Some clergymen looked around them and thought
   the Church could do better, from a spiritual standpoint.  One such
   reformer, Martin Luther, even went so far as to write up his
   reformations and nail them to the church door of the administrative
   church in his area.  It might have ended there, except a local
   printer (movable type was a recent invention, and printing was as
   "hot" then as multimedia is today) printed up and distributed
   Luther's reformist ideas.  The notions spread like wildfire through
   the countryside.  The Lutherans -- and the Protestant movement in
   general -- were born.

   [Benjamin later added that Luther is said to have nailed his theses
   on October 31st]

The Hazards of Topical Humor

Benjamin Jay Robinson:  Throughout "Citizen Kang," Bob Dole is referred
   to as, "Senator Dole." Oops -- Dole quit the Senate several months
   back to work on his campaign full time.  (Fat lot of good it did,
   too.) Evidently, it was too late for the producers to change the
   show to reflect this development.

   [There has been quite a discussion on a.t.s. regarding whether or not
   senators should still be called by this title after they quit. -- ed]

Politician Figures

Lyndon LaRouche

Mark Aaron Richey:  A Democrat, he runs as an Independent every four
   years after he fails to get his party's nomination.  I don't know
   much about him, other than he usually buys a half-hour of network
   time every so often (which usually ends up as the lowest-rated show
   of the week), and he's conducted his last couple of campaigns from

Ross Perot

Mark Aaron Richey:  Another perpetual third party canadate.  A rich
   Texas billionaire, he actually made a serious run for the office
   four years ago.  This year, he's pretty much seen as a joke, even
   though he does have about 7% in the latest polls, and he is from the
   greatest city in the world.  He was also generous enough to buy my
   Eagle Scout badge (as well as every other Eagle Scout's in Dallas).

"Excuse me, little boy, but that's the press secretary's seat."
"I =am= the press secretary, you idiot!"

Benjamin Jay Robinson:  The Democratic National Committee advisor who
   warns `Clinton' about holding hands with `Dole' bears a striking
   resemblance to George Stephanopolous [sic?], Clinton's first press
   secretary.  (After a couple of years on the job, he stepped down.)
   Mr. Stephanopolous was noted for both his youth (he was in his
   twenties or early thirties when he took the job) and for his handsome
   looks.  The latter item supposedly earned him a cult following among
   the young female Washington Watchers.

Don't forget your stinking flag

Tom Restivo:  June 1976(5?), during the era of the Boston Busing Crisis,
   there was a demonstration turned violent on City Hall Plaza. One of the
   white participants saw a black man dressed in a suit and used the staff
   of a flag pole (with flag attached) to spear and beat him. The picture
   was taken by Stanley Forman of the Boston Herald American (now the Boston

   The photo won the 1976 Pulitzer Prize for Spot News Photography for
   Mr Forman.

   BTW, the view of Homer with the staff is 'reverse angle'; the picture
   had the polethruster on the left (underhand jab, flag behind) and the
   black professional sprawling but standing on the right of the photo.

Loose Ends

Haynes Lee:  Homer running around on fire in the beginning refers to
   when Richard Pryor caught on fire while free-basing cocaine in the

Haynes Lee:  There was a pair of siamese good/evil siamese twins who was
   never separated. One was drunk and slept around alot to the the
   disgust of the other.

Jason Hancock:  Boys Town is a community for underprivileged young boys
   located near Omaha, Nebraska.  It was founded by Father Edward
   Flanagan in 1917 and was made famous in a 1938 movie starring Mickey
   Rooney and Spencer Tracy.

Mark Aaron Richey:  Radio Shack is a chain of electronic shops.  They
   contain all sorts of electronics from remote control cars to
   [It's also known as a great place for geeks and nerds to hang out,
   like I used to do years ago... -- ed]

Mark Aaron Richey:  The time in Europe in the sixteenth and seventeenth
   centuries when the Dark Ages ended and great advancments in science
   and the arts were made.

Of course Saturn has rings, but so do Jupiter, Neptune and Uranus. Given
   the references to rectal probing, the latter is clearly Kang and
   Kodos' home planet...

Haynes Lee:  Giant ray gun looks like the super gun Saddam Hussein tried
   to build.

Dale G. Abersold:  Based on this episode and "Much Apu About
   Nothing" [3F20], it seems that David S. Cohen has found his niche on
   the writing staff, writing political satire.

Quotes and Scene Summary

First segment title: "The Thing and I" The night has fallen upon Springfield, and everything is quiet. However, Bart and Lisa are awakened by strange moaning and rattling sounds. Lisa: Did you hear that, Bart? Bart: Maybe it was just the cat. Lisa: No, she's sleeping with me. [Snowball II shows up, wearing a baby bonnet and booties] -- Like child like cat, "Treehouse of Horror VII" It appears the sounds originate from the attic. The next morning, during breakfast, Bart asks Homer about it. Bart: Did you guys hear something moving around in the attic last night? Homer: Attic? Oh, that's silly. [laughs] Seriously though, don't ever go up there. -- What a frank attitude, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Marge: Homer, isn't it about time for the... you know? Homer: Yeah, yeah, I'll go feed it. [goes to the fridge, where he picks up a bucket of fish heads] [singing] Fish heads, fish heads, doo doo doo doo doo... -- Nothing suspicious there, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer whistles all the way to the attic, followed by Bart and Lisa. They can't see what's going on in there, but the sound of animal munching they hear is nothing to reassure them. The following night, Bart not only hears, but also sees something crawling in the air ducts. Come morning, the kids ask to be told the truth. Lisa: What's up there? Bart: Is it a monster? Lisa: We have to know. Bart: Tell us what's the secret. Homer: No more questions. I work my butt off to feed you four kids and all you do is... [Marge is staring at him] What? Marge: Three. We have three kids, Homer. Homer: Yeah, three nosy kids. And you know what happens to nosy kids who ask too many questions? Kids: [quickly] No, what? Does something happen? Does something happen to nosy kids who ask questions? What happens? -- Never mind, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Since they cannot get any explanation from their parents, Bart and Lisa decide to investigate the matter. After Homer and Marge go out for a moment, they form a human ladder with Maggie, who opens the attic's door. Slowly and carefully, they step into the attic, where dozens of useless items are stacked up, collecting dust. Among them, Bart discovers the unsold copies of Homer's autobiography, "Homer, I Hardly Knew Me". Lisa quickly directs his attention to a pair of restricting chains, from which something has just escaped. The creature emerges in the shadows and jumps right before the kids, causing them to run in fear. [view of 3 vases, matching the kids' height] Lisa: [muffled] Bart, do you think it's safe? Bart: [muffled] I don't care -- I can't breathe in here! [the kids rush out of a nearby closet, gasping for air] -- They still remember Tracey Ullman, "Treehouse of Horror VII" At that moment, Homer and Marge come back into the house. See, Marge, who needs a car-wash when you can just drive around in the rain? -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Bart+Lisa: [quickly] Mom! Dad! We saw something in the attic! We saw something in the attic! Marge: You went into the attic? [gasps] I'm very disappointed and terrified. -- Thanks for calming my fears, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Armed with an iron club, Homer pokes his head into the attic, and witnesses that "it" has escaped, leaving behind his chains and a dish full of bones. The whole family gasps in horror when they hear rapid footsteps and see the front door wide open. Marge doesn't waste any time and picks up the phone. Marge: Yes, doctor. It's what we've always feared: it's loose. Hugo is loose. See you soon! -- Casual phonecalls, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Of course, Bart and Lisa overheard. Bart: Who or what is Hugo? Marge: Hmm. I'm afraid we haven't been entirely honest with you, Bart. You see... you have a brother. Lisa: So I have two brothers? Homer: Lisa, please. [pushes her aside] -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer explains that Bart has in fact a twin brother: "When you were born, there was an irregularity." "A monstrous irregularity" adds Dr. Hibbert, coming out of nowhere, much to Marge stupor. Hibbert: Yes, I remember Bart's birth well. You don't forget a thing like... [dramatic] Siamese twins! Lisa: I believe they prefer to be called "conjoined twins". Hibbert: And Hillbillies prefer to be called "sons of the soil". But it ain't gonna happen. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" Dr. Hibbert narrates the birth of Bart and Hugo. It seems that one of them was pure evil. [Hibbert shows Bart-Hugo to Marge] [one of them starts gnawing the other ferociously] Marge: I think I'll bottle-feed that one. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" Hibbert: The routine soul smear confirmed the presence of pure evil. It was then I knew the only option was to separate you two immediately. [chops a paper cutter] [hands forms to Marge and Homer] You'll both need to sign these. [chuckles] -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" Hibbert: But what to do with poor Hugo? Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town. The child was an outcast. So, we did the only humane thing. Homer: We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week. Marge: It's saved our marriage. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" But Bart remains sceptic: "You expect me to believe all this? If any of it was true, wouldn't I have a big hideous scar right --". Indeed, the scar is there. The family starts looking for Hugo. Homer: We'll search out every place a sick twisted solitary misfit might run to. Lisa: I'll start with Radio Shack. -- Hey, I used to hang out there!, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Bart, you stay home and tape the hockey game. -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Bart locks every door and window, until he hears rustling from inside the house. "You're here, aren't you?" he realizes. His twin brother comes out of the shadows, holding a glass and a plate of fish heads: "Yes, Bart, I never left you." Bart inquires about what Hugo might want from him. "You'll see, Hugo replies, after the surgery." So here is Bart, tied up in the attic. Hugo: I went mad after they tore us apart, but I'll be sane... once I sew us back together. Bart: But you'll kill both of us. Hugo: No, it's easy. Look, I've been practicing: I made a pigeon-rat. [said pigeon-rat flies into a wall, falls back, and tries to enter a mouse hole] -- Natural evolution, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Well, let's get started: you want to be on the right or the left? -- Hugo, about to sew himself to Bart, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Fortunately for Bart, Dr. Hibbert shows up right on time. Hibbert: There, there, Hugo. I understand. All those years caged up in here, why, you've probably never ever seen your own face in the mirror, have you? Here. [Hibbert hands up a frame between him and Hugo] Hugo: Mmm? [stares into the frame, which reveals Hibbert's face] [Hibbert punches him through the (empty) frame] -- No need for violence, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer and Marge step in. We think we saw Hugo at the airport; he was boarding a plane to Switzerland and... [sees Hugo] Oh. -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Marge unties Bart while Hibbert and Homer take care of Hugo. Hibbert: You know, isn't it interesting how the left -- or sinister -- twin is invariably the evil one. I had this theory that... Wait a minute. Hugo's scar is on the wrong side. He couldn't have been the evil left twin. That means the evil twin is, and always has been... Bart! Bart: Oh, don't look so shocked. Hibbert: Well, chalk this one up to carelessness on my part. -- Pobody's Nerfect, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Nevertheless, Hibbert thinks "there's a way to set everything right". Later that day, everybody -- with Hugo in lieu of Bart -- is gathered around the table for a nice family dinner. Hibbert: Care for a drumstick, Hugo? [Hugo noisily eats his drumstick in 3 seconds, wipes his mouth, then starts eating the napkin] Lisa: Mom, Hugo's eating his napkin. [laughter] Bart: [from the air ducts] Hey, can I have some turkey? Marge: No, you finish your fish heads. Then we'll talk. [closes the vent] -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" [End of Act One. Time: 7:00] Segment two title: "The Genesis Tub" In front of her mirror, Lisa looks at the newest gap in her dentition. Lisa: This tooth will be perfect for my science project. [sets up her exhibit: "Will cola dissolve a tooth?"] Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol and chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone! -- A lifetime mission, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Bart: Hey, Lis. Check out my science project. [rubs a balloon over his head, then touches Lisa with a spark of static electricity] Lisa: Ow! What's that's supposed to prove? Bart: That nerds conduct electricity. [touches her again] Lisa: Ow! -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" Bart runs away laughing, and Lisa gets back to her exhibit. When she touches her tooth, now soaking in cola, she gets a shock again. "Stupid Bart" she grumbles, not making much a case of it. Throughout the night, Lisa sleeps deeply, while the tooth and the cola seem to undergo some sort of strange electrical reaction. Come morning, Lisa wakes up and looks at her experiment. Oh boy, mold! That's science fair pay dirt. -- I can't hold my excitement, "Treehouse of Horror VII" She brings the tub under her microscope for further analysis. "Looks about the same" she complains, until she notices the microscope is set for 1x magnification. She brings it to 10x, then 100x, to find something shocking: miniature prehistoric human lifeform. Lisa: [gasps] Tiny little people! My God! I've created life! Marge: Lisa! Breakfast! We're having waffles! Lisa: Ooh! Waffles! [runs down] -- The meal of choice of Darwin, "Treehouse of Horror VII" She gets disappointed once she reaches her seat, as the promised waffles are "just square pancakes", the waffle iron being in the shop. "The waffle iron's been in the shop forever" she grumbles back to her room. Taking another look at her microscope, she is stunned to observe that her "little stone age tub dwellers" have already evolved into the Renaissance. Wait, one of them is nailing something to the door of the cathedral. [gasps] I've created Lutherans! -- Lisa, "Treehouse of Horror VII" During the night, light emerges from the tub, lighting up the whole room. The following day, the tub has already evolved well beyond our own world. Lisa marvels to this sight of our own possible future. Bart steps in and inquires about her project; when he sees what seems like a model city, he squashes some bits of it ("Oops, my finger slipped"), and runs away laughing. Looking back at her microscope, Lisa witnesses the damage he's caused. The following night, a squadron of spaceships launch from the tub and proceed to attack Bart for a short time before they come back to their base. Bearing many bumps on the face, the boy bursts into Lisa's room, ready to strike back. Lisa stops him in time. Bart: Your micro-jerks attacked me! Lisa: Well, you practically destroyed their whole world. Bart: You can't protect them every second. Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down, and then flush: it's toilet time for Tinytown. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" Bart leaves, and Lisa sits next to the tub, expressing a long sigh. Her attention is suddenly caught by a whirring sound from the tub, followed by some sort of energy which surrounds her, shrinking her and bringing her into the tub. She is dropped on a tooth-shaped seat, in front of an audience which seems to comprise every man and woman in this world. A Frink-like man rejoices. It worked! The de-bigulator world! -- Tiny Frink, "Treehouse of Horror VII" The audience hails her, and what seems to be a spiritual leader greets her. Leader: Welcome to our world, most gracious Lisa. Lisa: Your world is incredible. And you speak English. Leader: We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator. And we have learned to imatoot you exarktly. -- Close enough, "Treehouse of Horror VII" The audience bows, revealing a statue of Lisa. She then realizes that she is granted the status of godhood, as she is the one who created this world. In that aspect, those people are counting on her to save them from the devil, ie. Bart. When she announces that the devil is her brother, murmurs emerge from the audience. Gradually, people come forward with the usual boring theological questions (why does a good god allow bad things). Lisa: Listen, I can take care of everything. All you have to do is unshrink me. Frink: Unshrink you? Well, that would require some sort of a re-bigulator, which is a concept so ridiculous is makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle, and... [Lisa looks at him] uh... but not at you, O holiest of gods, with the wrathfulness and the vengeance and the blood rain and the hey-hey-hey-it-hurts-me... -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" His words are quickly covered by screams from the audience, as the grinning face of Bart appears in the sky. He closes the tub, which is later opened by... Principal Skinner. First-rate work, Bart. This universe you've created is even more impressive than Martin's milk-carton ukulele. -- Principal Skinner, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Skinner nominates Bart as winner, and instructs Willy to throw out the other projects. Children moan. Principal Skinner, wait! I created the universe! Give me the gift certificate! -- Lisa, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Lisa: Oh, great. I'm stuck in this lousy tub for the rest of my life. [people stare at her] Shouldn't you people be grovelling? [they do] And bring me some shoes. Nice ones. Man: She'll want socks, too. I'll get socks. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" [End of Act Two. Time: 12:52] Third segment title: "Citizen Kang" Late at night, Homer is relaxing on a boat. Homer: Ah... The old fishin' hole. So peaceful and relaxing, doesn't even matter if I catch a single fish. [yawns] [pauses, then abruptly springs forward] Come on, you stupid fish! Take the bait! Don't make me come down there! -- The pleasures of fishing, "Treehouse of Horror VII" His attention is quickly grabbed by nothing else than a flying saucer over him. The saucer drops a crane and brings him on board -- after dropping him in the lake once. His abductors are none else than... Kang and Kodos! Oh, my God. Space aliens. Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them! -- Homer faces alien abduction, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Kang: Silence! We are travellers from a certain nearby ringed planet whose name we'd prefer not to mention. My name is Kang, and this is my sister Kodos. Kodos: [masculine voice] Hello. -- Charmed, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer: [gulps] I suppose you want to probe me. Well, might as well get it over with. [unzips his pants] Kang: [disgusted] Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us. -- And what a passionating subject, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Kodos explains that they're on a mission of conquest, and need to locate Earth's leader. Homer: I guess you mean President Clinton. He usually hangs around Washington, D.C. Kang: President Clin-Ton? Excellent. Homer: Except, um... there's this election next week, so after that, it might not be him anymore. It might be what's-his-name, uh... Mumbly Joe, uh... I saw him on TV the other... uh... Bob Dole! -- The well-informed American voter, "Treehouse of Horror VII" This election complicates matters a bit, so Kang and Kodos decide to abduct both candidates. Their first target is Bob Dole, who's walking out of the Republican National Committee. Ugh, Bob Dole doesn't need this. -- Bob Dole being abducted by aliens, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Next is Bill Clinton, who they pull through the roof of the White House, still in bed. Wha-wha-wha what's happening? Is it noon already? -- Bill Clinton being abducted by aliens, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Dole and Clinton are stripped bare naked (urgh!) and pushed into some kind of tube. What the hell is this, some kind of tube? -- Bob Dole, in some kind of tube, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Dole's tube quickly fills up with some sort of fluid which stops his movements, yet keeps him alive. Clinton thanks Kang and Kodos for taking care of Dole for him, but he soon goes through the same process. The aliens link themselves to the tubes, and initiate a bio-duplication. In other words, Kang and Kodos take the shape of Dole and Clinton, respectively. Oh, no! Aliens, bio-duplication, nude conspiracies... Oh my God! Lyndon LaRouche was right! -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Kodos: What? Are you still here? I'm afraid we'll have to dispose of you... [pushes a button] [out of somewhere comes a cannon, which reveals a smaller cannon, which reveals an even smaller one, from which emerges a tube, spraying Homer] Homer: What are you spraying me with? Kang: Rum. So no one will believe your story. [Kodos kicks Homer off the saucer] Kodos: And don't come back. -- That should take care of him, "Treehouse of Horror VII" The next morning, Marge and the kids watch a portable TV in the kitchen. Kent: Kent Brockman here, with Campaign '96: America Flips A Coin. At an appearance this morning, Bill Clinton made some rather cryptic remarks, which aides attributed to an overly tight necktie. Kodos: I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. [crosses arms] End communication. Marge: Hmm, that's Slick Willie for you, always with the smooth talk. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer runs in. Marge! Marge! There I was, I had just caught the largest fish you'd ever seen, when I was abducted by a flying saucer! -- Homer, catching up the fisherman profile, "Treehouse of Horror VII" "Sure you were, rummy" replies Bart. Homer gasps when he sees Dole on the screen. Kent: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton? Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED! Kent: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" These candidates make me wanna vomit in terror! -- Homer speaks out loud what we think, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Bob Dole gives an electoral speech: Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, 73-year-old candidate, Bob Dole. Kang: Abortions for all. [crowd boos] Very well, no abortions for anyone. [crowd boos] Hmm... Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. [crowd cheers and waves miniature flags] -- American politics in its simplicity, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Later, Kang and Kodos are walking down the streets, holding hands. Kang: Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected. Kodos: Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" A Democratic National Committee van pulls up, and George Stephanopoulos pokes his head out. George: Uh, Mr. President, Sir. People are becoming a bit... confused by the way your and your opponent are, well, constantly holding hands. Kang: We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" One night, Springfield holds a Dole-Clinton debate. Clinton is giving the opening speech: My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom. -- Kodos gives a speech, "Treehouse of Horror VII" The crowd is cheering heartily, and Dole is about to take the stand, when Homer comes bursting in. Homer: Stop! Those candidates are phonies! [crowd murmurs] You heard me! They're alien replicons from beyond the moon! [crowd laughs at him] -- You just said the "A" word, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer tries to prevent secret agents from throwing him out by using a flag as defence, but to no avail. "Don't forget your stinking flag" says one, before throwing it at him. Dejected, Homer takes a walk by the shore of a lake. Why won't anyone believe my crazy story? -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror VII" In frustration, he kicks a bush, only to hit metal. Removing the bush, he discovers the aliens' spaceship -- clearly visible anyway. Inside, he removes the liquid from the tubes, re-animating the real candidates. Clinton: Oh, no, am I still here? I don't wanna serve out my term naked in a tube... Dole: I am so mad at the Secret Service right now. -- Clinton and Dole wake up, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Homer takes the ship in space, flying towards Washington. Clinton: You know, Senator, being in suspended animation gave me time to think. Partisan politics are tearing our country apart. Dole: You got a point there, Bill. If you and I are gonna whup these one-eyed space fellas, we're gonna have to set aside our differences. Clinton: Together, we can lead America into a new Golden Age. Dole: Friend, you got a deal. -- But enough with the fairy tales, "Treehouse of Horror VII" Dole asks Homer to get them out of those tubes, but Homer somehow manages to press the wrong button, and sends them both flying into space. Oh, no. What have I done? What am I doing? What will I do? -- That is the question, "Treehouse of Horror VII" In panic, Homer smashes the control panel, and sends the saucer crashing towards Washington. Meanwhile, outside the Capitol, the candidates are giving their last electoral speach. Kang: The politics of failure have failed. We need to make them work again. Tomorrow, when you are sealed in the voting cubicle, vote for me, Senator Ka... Bob Dole. [applause] Kodos: I am looking forward to an orderly election tomorrow, which will eliminate the need for a violent blood bath. [applause] -- Pre-electoral speeches, "Treehouse of Horror VII" From the sky comes a scream, as Homer is crashing right into the Capitol. A few footsteps later, he comes running down the stairs. Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They're nothing but hideous space reptiles. [unmasks them] [audience gasps in terror] Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us. [murmurs] Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system. Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate. Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away. [Kang and Kodos laugh out loud] [Ross Perot smashes his "Perot 96" hat] -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" The next day, Kodos announces the result: "All hail, President Kang." The field in front of the Capitol has now become a working ground where humans are whipped by aliens and used to carry materials. The Simpsons family is working too, with Homer and the kids carrying wood, and Marge pushing a wheelbarrow of cinderblocks -- with Maggie on top. Marge: I don't understand why we have to build a ray gun to aim at a planet I never even heard of. Homer: Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. -- "Treehouse of Horror VII" [End of Act Three. Time: 21:28]


{ak} Andrew Krupowicz {av} Aaron Varhola {bjr} Benjamin Jay Robinson {ddg} Don Del Grande {dga} Dale G. Abersold {dk} Diego Kontarovsky {dn} David Ney {dp} Damian Penny {hl} Haynes Lee {jh} Jason Hancock {jm} Jon May {jr} Joe Reeves {ks} Ken Simons {ljs} Liam J. Scanlan {mar} Mark Aaron Richey {mk} Matthew Kurth {rl} Ricardo Lafaurie {rs} Rick Senger {sb} Stephan Bonneville {th} Tony Hill

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This episode capsule is Copyright 1996 Frederic Briere. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). Any quoted material, episode summaries and lack of episodes this summer remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. If swallowed, see a doctor. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.