Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment

Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment                  Written by Steve Pepoon
                                                         Directed by Rich Moore

Title sequence

Blackboard :- `I will not make flatulent / noises in class'.
              `I will not make flatule' at cutoff.

Driveway   :- no oil on the driveway.
              Homer does not shake his fist at Bart.
              Homer says `D'oh!' when Lisa scoots past.

Couch:     :- The family does a little dance.

Didja notice ...

 ... Ned said, `D'oh!'? [Bryant S Liu (bliu@cbnewsf.att.com)]
     (Though it wasn't said in the same way.)
 ... the cable installer's pants were slung low, revealing his rear cleavage?
     (A sketch based on this phenomenon got SNL into trouble.  Ah, how
      times have changed.)
 ... we hear a snippet from `Davey and Goliath'?
 ... Bart's hair was combed down and Lisa was wearing an adorable Sunday hat?
 ... Marge was wearing lipstick in the car on the way home from church?
     (In some circles, wearing makeup to church is considered unethical.)
     [Dave Hall (dave@sys6626.bison.mb.ca)]
 ... Dr. Nick Riviera reappears?
 ... a shopping cart was rolling out of the supermarket parking lot?
 ... Maggie is tossing things into the shopping cart?  (And when Lisa
     yells, `Thou shalt not steal!', Maggie drops a glass jar?)
 ... when Homer hears about `The bout to knock the other guy out',
     he stands up in excitement, and Lisa (who had been seated on his knee)
     falls to the floor as a result?  (Poor Lisa.)
 ... while Homer is buying a Crate-O-Duff's at the Qwik-E-Mart, Jimbo
     is in the background shoplifting?  He was also shoplifting at the
 ... the signs in the store say `Eat more often' and `Buy and buy again'?
 ... Mr. Burns says, ``"Ah, Simpson, I was just in the neighborhood'' to
     Barney?  This is a new low in Burns' being unable to recognize his
     employees. [Mike Dolny (6500poln%ucsbuxa@hub.ucsb.edu)]
 ... many assorted TV voices were supplied by Phil Hartman?
 ... the fight announcer is the same one from the golf tournament? [Jym Dyer]
 ... when Homer panics and collects the things he `borrowed' from work,
     one of the things he hands to Bart is a computer?  (Looks like a
     monitor and keyboard.) {cjb}

Dave Hall's Maggie fall count:
    1.  When the family comes in with the groceries.
    2.  When walking towards the TV.
    3.  When Marge hands Lisa a glass of lemonade.
    4.  At the very end, when the family walks out onto the front yard to
        watch Homer cut the cable.  (It happens very fast and there's no
        sound effect.)

Movie (and other) references

    North by Northwest
       - Homer jumps in front of a truck to try to flag it down. {abw}
    Mike Tyson, Buster Douglas, Don King
        - Dreaderick Tatum (Mike Tyson) fights somebody (Buster Douglas)
          who dedicated the bout to his late mother.  Tatum's manager
          has a Don King hairdo.
  ~ Gandhi
       - Marge serves Lisa lemonade during her nonviolent protest. {jd}
         (Gandhi drinks only lemonade [lemon in water] during his fast.)

Cable TV

Notable things on cable:

- Cable shopping channel, selling `poopsie the clown'.

- `Lemondade?'  `Please.' from `Porch Pals'?  This is the cartoon that
   was created as a result of Marge's protest against cartoon violence
   in `Itchy and Scratchy and Marge'.  (The protest was in I&S&M, not
   the violence.)  Note also that the cartoon was cut for cable.

- `I used to be poor like you!' from Tommy Vu's real estate
   program-length advertisements. [Dale Gass]

- The stand-up comedian who sounded a lot like Jerry Seinfeld.
  [Ken Staggers]

What's the point?


I think the message that MG was trying to convey is that cable will show just
about ANYTHING. "Porch Pals" was rejected by dozens (maybe hundreds) of kids,
but cable shows it. I don't think I need to say much about Tommy Vu.

BTW I freeze-framed the Top Hat channel and what I saw behind Homer's leg
was something that looked vaguely like two roman columns with a red curtain
hanging between them. Not too exciting.

Homer's TV habits

amehrer@misvax.mis.arizona.edu (Annette):

Watch the plant next to the couch during that scene.   Marge had
brought the plant into the living room earlier in the show--it was just a
wee sprout.  During the scene in question, the plant grows and grows and
then wilts and dies.  This would indicate that the scene actually took
place over months, which is supported also by the deep imprint of Homer's
body on the couch when he (finally?) gets up.

The Boxing Match

rmm@hydra.ipac.caltech.edu (Mike Melnyk):

Clearly, the challenger, Dreaderick Tatum, is a caricature of Mike Tyson,

stx7226@uoft02.utoledo.edu (Janet Healey):

The other boxer (Watson) is obviously James "Buster" Douglas.  He is the boxer
who whoopped Tyson's butt and then dedicated the fight to his mother who had
died two weeks (or so) before the fight.

Other stuff

jimi@cbnewsm.att.com (james.d.wynn):

Was Barney driving a Miata to Homer's house to watch the fight?
The vehicle was blue but not the Miata mild dark blue...BUT  Barney's head
and the size of the interior were about the right ratio for it to be a Mazda.

staggers@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Ken Staggers):

I thought this episode REALLY stood out because of the ACTING!  Yes,
the acting..which translates into the director and the animators.  The fact
that Homer's head was bobbing up and down with an incredible sarcastic grin
made the line "Nothing a month...yeah, I think we can swing that" HYSTERICAL.

Also, when they were showing the program length commercial, the lady on
stage had great body movement..which made her line sound SO phony (which is
the way everyone on plc's sound)

[And the scene change when Lisa turns her head, and the background dissolves
 to the car on the way home. --rjc]

Did you notice Bart pushing his hair back up when he got back to the
couch to watch cable?

Chris Baird observes that, during the biblical flashback, if you
shaved off the beards and ignored the accents:

        the carver of graven images ==> Rev. Lovejoy (maybe)
        the adulterer               ==> Jacques

The Carver's nose is different, so maybe there is no connection there.

And when Bart is showing the X-rated channel to his friends, the American spy
from 'Crepes of Wrath' was sitting next to Wendell.

Freeze Frame Fun

David S. Berger (dsberger@pisces.rutgers.edu) carefully slo-mo'd the Simpsons
Shuffle, and here's what he reports:

Right after the Simpson's jumped on the couch the couch fell through the
floor!  This only lasted one cartoon frame (1/24 or 1/30 sec ?).  I watched
this scene one more time at normal speed, looking for evidence of the event,
but there was none.  there was absolutely no evidence that this event ever
took place.  To see this gag, you had to watch it with a VCR.

Dave Hall's astute eyes report...

In the opening scene, while Homer (the Thief) is talking to Azran (Carver of
Graven Images), a person behind Homer strikes another person down. (What
other sins were commited during this scene?)  [I saw a man struggling with
a woman. --rjc]

The cable guy leaves his(?) ladder behind in Flanders yard.

The Cable guy's truck plate number is 1NBNW.

Santa's Little Helper (SLH) `sort of' glares at the cable guy's rear-end.

The T.V. depicted on the pamphlet appears to be the same T.V. shown in the
opening credits. (Even the Channel nobs are in the same position.)

The ``Hear Me Roar: Network for Women'' host wears knee-high boots.

While the family is watching T.V., Maggie and Snowball (II) are sleeping
on SLH.

While Homer's alone watching T.V., SLH appears to have a rather long nose.

Homer's pajama buttons are on the wrong side. (Tell me if I'm wrong, but
shouldn't buttons be on the right side of shirts/pajamas?)  [Men's buttons
are on the right; women's on the left. Does this mean Homer is a
cross-dresser? --rjc]

When Homer gets ready for Church, he shoves the T.V. remote into the
couch, which appears later (when the family comes back) on the armrest.

In Sunday School, Milhouse appears to be the only kid not wearing socks.

The lady with the ``Madonna'' type hair-do just behind the cashier.

The ``Caution: Looking into laser...'' sign on the cash register. (I couldn't
read the rest.)

When Homer installed bars around the house, it appears that the Tree house
also has bars. (This is debatable.)

The "No Thieves" sign planted in the front yard.

In Homer's panic sequence, his prison number is 7734.
    [Daniel S. Lewart (d-lewart@uiuc.edu) brilliantly suggests that
     you punch `7734' into a calculator and turn it upside-down.]

Which is the 8th Commandment? and other religious questions

dattier@ddsw1.MCS.COM (David W. Tamkin):

The Douay Bible's numbering, followed by many Roman Catholics, skips
"Remember the Sabbath day" and divides "Thou shalt not covet" into two
parts to make ten again.  For Catholics who follow the Douay enumeration,
"Thou shalt not steal" is seventh.

For other Christians and for Jews, "Thou shalt not steal" is eighth.

Groening is of Dutch ancestry, so it's not surprising that he used the
Protestant numbering.

Here are the most commonly-encountered Judaic, Protestant and Catholic
numberings.  Note that the choice of words depends on what translation
you use.  (Exodus 20:1--17 and Deuteronomy 5:6--21)

Jud.  Prot. Cath.
====  ====  ====
 1     1     1   I am the Lord your God.
 2     "     "   Thou shalt have no other God before me.
 "     2     "   Thou shalt not make graven images.
 3     3     2   Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain.
 4     4     3   Remember to keep holy the Sabbath.
 5     5     4   Honor thy Father and thy Mother.
 6     6     5   Thou shalt not kill.
 7     7     6   Thou shalt not commit adultery.
 8     8     7   Thou shalt not steal.
 9     9     8   Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
10    10     9   Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
 "     "    10   Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.

rsteele@xn.ll.mit.edu (Rob Steele):

I can't tell whether MG intends Miss Sunday School Teacher to be a heretic
but, for the record, she is.  The orthodox answer to Martin's question about
how to avoid damnation is, roughly, believe the truth.  That is, no one can
possibly obey the ten commandments well enough to deserve heaven but "God so
loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in
him should not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

This is not a controversial doctrine in most churches.  It certainly would not
be in Springfield Vanilla Baptist or Punchclock Presbyterian.  It would not be
suprising though to find a well-intentioned but misguided sunday school
teacher who believed in "salvation by works," ie., that integrity or some
particular act or level of obedience are what God requires.

MG ridicules many cultural phenomena and is clearly doing so in the character
of the sunday school teacher.  But what phenomena precisely?  I think it's
just small-town, old-time, middle-American moral do-goodyness, an easy target.


    * [7[FG]10] The cable man is the same man who taunted Homer outside
      the Kwik-E-Mart.

Quotes and scene summary

 Mt. Sinai, 1220 B.C.  Homer the Thief, Azran (Carver of Graven Images),
 and Zoar the Adulterer chat among themselves, then Moses appears...
   The Lord has handed down to us ten commandments by which to live.
   I will now read them in no particular order.
   -- Moses, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 `Thou shalt not make any graven images.' `Thou shalt not commit adultery.'
 `Thou shalt not steal.'

 Springfield, The Present.  Homer sees Ned yelling.
   I should box your ears, you, you, you SNEAKY PETE!
   -- Flanders is upset at the cable TV hook-up man,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Homer learns the man offered to hook him up to free cable for only $50.
 Homer stops the truck and invites the man in.  When Homer questions the
 properness of his decision, the man gives him a pamphlet.
   So you've decided to steal cable.
   Myth: Cable piracy is wrong.
   Fact: Cable companies are big faceless corporations,
         which makes it okay.
   -- Homer reads the `So you've decided to steal cable' pamphlet,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Homer enjoys his new toy.
   It's funny 'cause it's true.
   -- Homer laughs at a stand-up routine,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Marge and the kids come home from grocery shopping.
   I have an announcement to make:  The Simpsons have cable!
   -- Homer's important announcement, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   Marge: Homer, we've talked about cable before.
          You really think we can afford it?
   Homer: Nothing a month?  Yeah, I think we can swing that.
   -- The Simpsons have cable!  ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 When Marge expresses her concern over the legality of stealing cable,
 Homer gives her the pamphlet.
   Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies.
   Fact: Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less
         and are repeated ad nauseum.
   Hmm I don't know.
   -- Marge reads the `So you've decided to steal cable' pamphlet,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   TV:    Hear Me Roar, the Network for Women.
          In the next half-hour, we'll show you how to cut your first-aid
          bill in half by making your own band-aids.
   Marge: Ooh, that's a good idea.
   TV:    Now before we begin, you need five yards of sterilized cotton...
   -- Something for everyone on cable, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 The family enjoy their new toy, though eventually Homer is the only one
 left watching.
   Homer: Ooh, pro wrestling from Mexico.
          You know, down there, it's a <real> sport. ...
   Bart:  Ooh, this is where Jaws eats the boat. ...
          Ooh, this is where Die Hard jumps through the window. ...
          Ho ho, this is where Wall Street gets arrested, ha ha. ...
   TV:    ``Mr Speaker, if I could call your attention to the
          retroactive subsidy appropriations override bill,
          I refer you to page four thousand five hundred and...''
   Homer: They must think people will watch anything...
   TV:    ``Live, from New Orleans, this is the World Series of cock-fighting!
          Oh, son-of-a-gun, we'll have big fun on the Bayou tonight.'' ...
          [time passes]
          ``We could get there quicker if I borrowed Dad's car.''
          ``I don't know, Davey...''
   -- Watching cable all night, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Marge reminds Homer to get ready for church.
   Rev. Lovejoy: Now, today's Christian doesn't think he needs God.  He thinks
          he's got it made.  He's got his hi-fi.  His boob tube.  And his
          instant pizza-pie.
   Homer: Ooh, pizza.  [licks his lips]
   -- Sunday sermon, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 At Sunday School...
   Miss Allbright:  Today's topic will be Hell.
   Kids:  Ooh.
   Bart:  All right. I sat through Mercy and I sat through Forgiveness.
          <Finally> we get to the good stuff.
   -- Sunday School, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   Miss Allbright: Hell is a terrible place.  Maggots are your sheet, worms
         your blanket, there's a lake of fire burning with sulfur.  You'll
         be tormented day and night for ever and ever.  As a matter of fact,
         if you actually saw hell, you'd be so frightened, you would die.
   Bart: [raises his hand] Oh, Miss Allbright.
   M.A.: Yes, Bart.
   Bart: Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like in a hot tub?
   M.A.: No.
   Bart: [raises his hand]
   M.A.: Yes, Bart.
   Bart: Are there pirates in hell?
   M.A.: Yes.  Thousands of them.
   Bart: [rubs hands] Hoo hoo, baby!
   -- Sunday School, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Miss Allbright goes on to say that to avoid eternal damnation, you must
 obey the Ten Commandments.  Lisa is particular frightened by number 8:
 `Thou shalt not steal.'  In the car on the ride home...
   Marge:  So, what did you children learn about today?
   Bart:   Hell.
   Homer:  Bart!
   Bart:   But that's what we learned about.
           I sure as HELL can't tell you we learned about HELL
           unless I say HELL, can't I?
   Homer:  Well, the lad has a point.
   Bart:   Hell, yes!
   Marge:  Bart!
   Bart:   [singing] Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, ...
   Marge:  Bart, you're no longer in Sunday School.  Don't swear.
   -- Coming home from church, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Upon returning home, the family settle down to watch more television,
 though Lisa isn't so sure it's right.
   Troy:  Hello, I'm Troy McClure.  You may remember me from such movies as
          `Cry, Yuma' and `Here Comes the Coast Guard'!  But today I'd like
          to tell you about a pleasant-tasting candy that actually cleans
          and straightens your teeth!
   Homer: Oh, goodie!  A program-length advertisement!
   Woman: [methodically] Wait a minute, Troy.  I'm a little confused.
          Did you say, cleans <and> straightens?
   Troy:  There's no confusion, Tina.  Just good science.  Ladies and
          gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.
   Nick:  Thank you, Troy.  Hi, everybody!
   Studio audience:  Hi, Dr. Nick Riviera!
   -- The `I Can't Believe They Invented It!' show,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Lisa sees the house dissolve and gasps as she sees the devil himself
 seated on the sofa with the rest of the family.
   Satan:  Come on, Lisa.  Watch a little cable with us.  Heh heh.
           It won't cost you a thing ... EXCEPT YOUR SOUL!
   Marge:  What's gotten into Lisa?
   Bart:   Beats the HELL out of me!
   Homer:  Bart!
   -- Lisa's conscience speaks, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 [End of Act One.  Time:  7:25]

 At the supermarket...
   Lisa:   Mom, what are you doing?
   Marge:  What, what do you mean?
   Lisa:   Don't you remember the eighth commandment?
   Marge:  Oh, of course.  It's thou shalt not um not covet, um,
           graven images, something about covet...
   -- Marge eats two grapes in the supermarket,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 As Lisa watches, Marge insists on paying for the two grapes at
 the register.  At home, Homer watches more television...
   If you didn't catch it in the theater, or rent it, or see it
   someplace else ... We've got it!  On the Blockbuster Channel!
   -- TV advertisement, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   Lisa:   Dad, why is the world such a cesspool of corruption?
   Homer:  [sotto voce] Oh, great...
           [speaking up] All right, what makes you say that?
   Lisa:   Well, in Sunday School, we learned that stealing is a sin.
   Homer:  Well, DUH.
   Lisa:   But everybody does it.
           I mean, we're stealing cable as we speak.
   Homer:  Oh.  Look at this way, when you had breakfast this morning,
           did you pay for it?
   Lisa:   No.
   Homer:  And did you pay for those clothes you're wearing?
   Lisa:   No, I didn't.
   Homer:  Well, run for the hills, Ma Barker!  Before I call the Feds!
   Lisa:   Dad, I think that's pretty spurious.
   Homer:  Well, thank you, honey.
   -- There, I've run rings around you logically,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 On the television, Homer sees an advertisement for `The Bout to Knock
 the Other Guy Out'.
   It's Watson-Tatum 2.  This time... it's for money!
   -- `The Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out',
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   How can one little insulated wire bring so much happiness!
   -- Homer on the wonders of cable TV, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 At work...
   Len:  Hey, big fight coming up.
   Karl: Yea, you wanna come over to my house and listen to round-by-round
         updates on the radio?
   Len:  Oh, yeah, okay.  Oh, and then after the fight, we can watch the
         still photos on the 11-o'clock news.
   Karl: Not too shabby!
   -- ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Homer invites his coworkers to see the fight.  Burns snoops in on the
 security cameras.
   Um, he's Homer Simpson, sir.  One of your drones in sector 7-G.
   -- Smithers to Mr. Burns, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Burns says he'd even go to an employee's house to watch the fight.
   Smithers:  Permission to speak frankly, sir?
   Burns:     Permission granted.
   Smithers:  Well, you are quite wealthy, ...
   Burns:     Thank you, Smithers.  Your candor is most refreshing.
   -- ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Smithers continues his sentence to ask why Burns doesn't just buy cable
 himself.  Burns says it's one of those occasions where he can relish
 `the sights, the sounds, and, ah yes, the smells of other men'.  Homer
 invites the gang at Moe's tavern to watch the fight.  He also invites Apu...
   I'll get my brother Sanjay to cover for me.  He deplores violence of all kinds.
   -- Apu excited about watching the upcoming fight,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 ... and Lisa goes to Rev. Lovejoy for advice.
   Lisa:  So even if a man takes bread to feed his starving family,
          that would be stealing?
   Rev.:  No.  Well, it is if he puts anything on it.  Jelly, for example.
   Lisa:  I see.
   -- A clarification from Reverend Lovejoy,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Rev. Lovejoy suggests that she set an example by refusing to watch the
 offending technology.  Meanwhile, Bart learns about the other channels
 available on cable...
   TV:    You're watching `Top Hat Entertainment'.  Adult programming
          all day, every day.  (Except in Florida and Utah.)
          Coming up next, `Stardust Mammaries'...
   Bart:  Aye, Carumba!
   Homer: Bart!
   Bart:  Dad!   [He didn't yell `Homer!']
   -- ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   Son, you shouldn't watch that other channel.  It's only for
   mommies and daddies who love each other very much.
   -- Homer catches Bart watching an adult cable channel,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Homer makes Bart promise never to watch that channel again.  Lisa comes home.
   Lisa:  Hi, Dad.
          I think stealing cable is wrong,
          so I am choosing not to watch it
          in the hopes that others will follow my example.
          That's the last you'll hear from me on the matter.
          Thank you for your time.
   Homer: Hey, Lisa... `Racing From Belmont'?  Horsies!
   Lisa:  Sorry, I'd rather go to heaven.
   -- Lisa takes the high ground, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 That evening in bed...
   There's something wrong with that kid.  She's so moral.
   Why can't she be more like ... well, not like Bart...
   -- Homer muses on Lisa's moral posturing,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Marge suggests that perhaps they should unhook the cable, but Homer
 refuses to part with it.  So Marge suggests they pay for it, and Homer
 explains, `Look, Marge, I can't afford it.  when I can afford to pay for
 it, I will, but I can't, so I'm not going to.'  (Ah, the song of a pirate.)
   The cable stays!  The foot has spoken!
   -- Homer puts his foot down, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 [End of Act Two.  Time: 13:36]

 The next day, the cable man comes into the living room as Homer flips
 through the channels...
   Homer: Hey, how'd you get in here?
   Man:   Oh, your door wasn't locked in any serious way.
   -- Homer finds a man in his living room,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 He offers to sell Homer a stolen car stereo, and Homer tosses him out.
 The man offers to see Flanders.  Homer says, ``He's not home.''  The
 man responds, ``Even better...''
   Marge, we can't be too careful.  There are thieves everywhere.
   And I'm not talking about the small forgiveable stuff.
   -- Homer installs bars on the windows,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Bart invites his schoolmates to watch cable...
   Bart:     Come one, come all!  Top Hat Theater is on the air!
             The most beautiful women in the world!
             Just fifty cents!
             I am your host, Bart Simpson!
             (Must be at least eight years old to enter.)
   TV:       And now, the `Top Hat' channel is honored to present...
             `Broadcast Nudes'.
   Gang:     Oooooohh...
   Milhouse: Gross!
   Martin:   Yet strangely compelling...
   -- ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Homer catches them.
   Man, I wish I was an adult so I could break the rules.
   -- Bart is caught watching a cable porn channel, [Burger King alert!]
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 That evening, people arrive to watch the fight.
   Here, I brought some imported generic beer.
   -- Barney brings a gift, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   Apu:   Oh, hello, Mrs. Homer.  I brought an assortment of jerkys.
   Homer: Oh, did you swipe those from work?
   Apu:   Certainly not.  What has been implied here?
   -- Apu arrives to watch the fight on Homer's stolen cable TV,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 The TV pre-fight hype replays an incident from earlier in the day.
 Lisa quietly announces...
   I just want to call attention to the fact that I'm not watching
   this fight as my form of nonviolent protest.
   -- Lisa refuses to watch stolen cable,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 When Moe arrives, Homer frantically hides the mugs he swiped from
 Moe's Tavern...
   Hey, go protest outside, will ya?  Now!
   -- Homer yells at Lisa who simply stares at him,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 ... before opening the door.  Moe's gift is a mug from the tavern.
 Homer then sees Burns and Smithers coming up the walk.
   Homer: Quick, Bart!  Hide the stuff I borrowed from work!
   Bart:  Borrowed?
   Homer: All, right, that stuff I stole from work.
   -- Panicking when Mr. Burns arrives, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   Will you quit staring at me like that!?
   -- Homer to Lisa who is staring innocently at Homer from outside,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Burns arrives and gives Homer `some munchies', a tiny bag of Cheetos.
 Burns' appearance scares some of Homer's guests.  The next visitors are
 the two cops.
   Cop:   Word on the street is that you have an illegal cable hookup.
   Homer: No!  No, I... It wasn't me.  It was my wife.  My wife's idea.
          Yeah, yeah, ...
   -- ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 ... but they just want to watch the fight, too.  Outside, Marge brings
 Lisa some lemonade and moral support.
   When you love somebody, you have to have faith that in the end,
   they will do the right thing.
   -- Marge to Lisa, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 The pre-fight hype profiles Dreaderick Tatum...
   Announcer: The challenger learned how to fight in the notorious province[?]
              of Capital City, and honed his skills while serving time for
              aggravated assault and manslaughter in Springfield Prison.
   Barney:    Awright!  A local boy!
   Tatum:     For five years, I was incarcerated, away from my family, and
              the mothers [sic] of my children...
   -- Watching the pre-fight hype, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Hearing the list of charges against Tatum gives Homer the willies, and
 he envisions himself in jail, isolated from his family.  (He calls,
 ``Marge!  Lisa!  Maggie!''  Bart is conspicuously missing.)  As the
 fight begins, he drags Bart outside.
   I hate to interrupt your judging me, but I wanted you to know that
   I've made a couple of really important decisions.
   Number 1: I'm cutting the cable as soon as the fight's over, and
   Number 2: I'm not very fond of any of you.
   -- Homer, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
   Lisa:  Dad, we may have saved your soul.
   Announcer: [from the TV inside] Tatum is reeling from the champ's
              exquisite hailing...
   Homer: Yeah, at the worst possible time!
   -- Cutting the cable hook-up, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Tatum wins the fight by knockout, and the guests file out.
   Apu:   What a donnybrook, eh, Mr. Burns?
   Burns: Oh, hogwash!  Why, I once watched Gentleman Jim Corbett
          fight an Eskimo fellow bare-knuckled for a hundred and thirteen
          rounds!  Back then, of course, if the fight lasted less than
          fifty rounds, we demanded our nickel back!
   -- After watching the big fight, ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Later that evening, Homer takes the cable clippers and prepares to
 climb the utility pole.
   Dad, I beg you to reconsider.
   Tractor pulls.  Atlanta Braves baseball.  Joe Franklin!
   -- Bart begs Homer not to cut the cable hook-up,
      ``Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment''
 Homer reaches the top, and cuts a wire.  Half the lights in Springfield
 go out.  He cuts another wire, and the other half of the lights go out.
 ``Third time's a charm.''  Snip.  Cut to static.

 [End of Act Two.  Time: 20:16]
   Episode summaries Copyright 1991 by Raymond Chen.  Not to be redistributed
   in a public forum without permission.  (The quotes themselves, of course,
   remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain
   the property of the original authors.  I'm just taking credit for the

HTML conversion by
Howard Jones(ha.jones@ic.ac.uk) on Sat 10 Sept 1994