Like Father, Like Clown

Like Father, Like Clown             Written by Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky
                                       Directed by Jeffrey Lynch with Brad Bird

TV Guide synopsis

Bart and Lisa try to reunite Krusty the Clown and his estranged rabbi father
(Jackie Mason), who disowned Krusty when he turned from rabbi to clown.
Voices: Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, Yeardley Smith.

Title sequence

First airing:  Cut from clouds directly to driveway.
Second airing: Cut from band practice to driveway.
Canada:        Full intro both times.

Blackboard :- ``I will finish what I sta

              Is that a picture of Einstein on the wall?

Lisa's solo:- transcription by Alan J. Rosenthal {ajr}
              amended by Raymond Chen.
              very quickly
                       .  .  ..
                          #  N- -   b    N
               8___/// 5__4_8438754/321213568868___

Driveway   :- Homer says `D'oh' when Lisa scoots past.
              Homer says `Waugh!' when the car closes in on him.

Couch:     :- Bart leaps into everyone's lap.

Didja notice...

        Also Starring
            Doris Grau (the waitress)
	    Pamela Hayden (Milhouse)
            Tress MacNeille (Woman 1?)
        Special Guest Voice
            Jackie Mason (Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky)
        Special Technical Consultants
            Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis
            Rabbi Lavi Meier, Ph.D.

        Note the Jackie Mason reference in the deli menu.
        And of course, Jackie Mason is a prominent Jewish
        comedian, who has often been criticized as being ``too Jewish''.
        Indeed, Mason is himself a former rabbi! {jdb}

    ... Bart now has a phone in his room?
    ... Krusty arrived at 6:10, and got off his unicycle at 6:15?
    ... Marge served microwave mashed potatoes for dinner?
    ... Krusty dabs his eyes with a trick handkerchief?
    ... the title panel for ``Field of Screams'' shows Scratchy chasing
        Itchy with a baseball bat?  Itchy wears a baseball glove.
    ... the TV ad for Barney's Bowl-a-Rama when Krusty cuts to a commercial?
    ... how the music repeated itself when Rabbi Krustofsky slammed the door
        each time?
    ... they were watching Krusty at Moe's Tavern?
    ... Maggie fell but once?  (When Marge answers the phone.)

Did anybody see an `A-113' in the episode?  Brad Bird likes to hide that
number in things he directs.

Dave Hall {dh}:

    ... the ``Applause'' sign in the studio?
    ... at the dinner table...
        ... they'd already started dinner before saying Grace.
        ... Homer was scooping mash-potatoes onto his plate, but stopped once
            to take something out!
        ... After Krusty's story, the candles had burnt down.
    ... the `Concert for Bangladesh' tape sounded more like a record?
    ... Lisa's dresser has a little heart placed at the top of the mirror,
        and she has a phone in her bedroom?  (They used the phone to
        invite Rabbi Krustofsky and Krusty to Izzy's Deli.)
    ... the sink in Moe's Tavern appears to be over-flowing?
    ... the front door's peek-hole appears to be almost eye-level to Bart?
        [I bet Bart never uses it, though. --rjc]

Movie (and other) References

  + The Jazz Singer
        - the basic plot of the movie:  rabbi disowns his son, who chooses
          to become an entertainer rather than follow in his father's
          footsteps. {eaw}
        - Rabbi Krustofsky announces, ``I have no son!'' {df}
        - ``If you were a musician or a jazz singer, this I could forgive.''
    The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson
        - ``I hold in my hand the final axe.''  cf. envelope, during
          Johnny's Karnak sketch. {sa}
        - the famous incident when Ed Ames was a guest.  He was throwing axes
          at a plywood board with an outline of a man on it.  When he threw
          the very last axe, it landed right on the crotch of the outline.
          Johnny almost died laughing.  He shows this all the time on his
          anniversary specials.  You'll notice that Krusty's last axe hit
          just below Mel's crotch as well. {kg}
  + The Carol Burnett Show
        - Krusty tugs his ear at the end of the show at the start of the
          episode. {jk}
        - Carol tugged her ear as a signal to her mother.
    James Bond movies
        - Miss Pennycandy (Miss Moneypenny).  Beautiful, but
          alays holding out futilely for Krusty (Bond). {mr}
    Brighton Beach Memoirs
        - Young Krusty caught with the seltzer bottle.  Cf. when Eugene gets
          caught by his sister doing something to make hair grow on his palms.
          The timing of the seltzer spray was *so* good. {kdj}
    Annie Hall (not a reference, but could've been)
        - At Izzy's Diner, they had a chance to spoof Diane Keaton's deli
          order of pastrami on white with mayo.  (cf. the Krusty sandwich)

Freeze Frame Fun

Krusty Kologne label, courtesy of Dan Maloney {dm}

    Krusty (non-toxic) Kologne
    The smell of the big top

    Warning: use in a well-ventilated area.  May stain furniture.  Prolonged
    use may cause chemical burns.

Bart's desk

    Radioactive Man (Men) comic.  ``My Enemy, Myself''.
        Picture of two Radiactive Men squaring off.
    Krusty top
    Krusty button
    Krusty pen
    keys (?)
    nuclear cooling tower coffee mug filled with Krusty pens and pencils
    half a Krusty eraser
    Krusty snow-dome (Krusty on a unicycle)
    ball and marbles
    stationery:  `From the brain of Bart'

Krusty's dressing room, observed by Dave Hall {dh}

        Krusty with the Beatles.  One of the Beatles looked deathly pale.
        Krusty and Hitchcock, sitting in each other's chairs.

    Poster for the show.  ``Weekdays at 4:00.''
        Note that this contradicts [7[FG]23], in which Bart watches the <end>
        of an I&S cartoon at 4pm.

    Although there are several colorful ties hanging in his dressing room,
    he only wears the same blue bow-tie.

The Springfield Lower East Side

    Tannen's Fatty Meats
    Kosher Meats & Produce.  Fresh Daily.

    Yiddle's Jokes:  Practical jokes, magic tricks and medical supplies
        Observe the rabbit in the top-hat in the store. {dh}

    A man in the crowd had a unusual placed patch on his
    pants. (Think about it.) {dh}

The picture album

    ``Bart's first haircut''
    The barber waits impatiently as Homer tries to hold Bart in the chair.
    Taped beside the picture is a triangle---a piece of Bart's hair. {dh}

    ``Bart learns to swim''
    Bart is in mid-flight after being thrown into the pool by Homer.

    ``Duff Garden's'' [sic]  Cf. Busch Gardens (of Anheuser Busch Breweries).
    Homer riding on a rollercoaster, holding Bart up in the air.

    ``4th of July''
    Homer drinks a can of beer, holding a lit match in his left hand.
    Bart lights a huge firecracker with the match.
    Marge watches in the distance.
    (So who took the picture?)

    Note that in these pictures, Homer has already lost his hair. {dh}

Springfield-X porno movie marquee

    Now Playing
    For Your Thighs Only
    Crocodile Done Me
    Doctor Strangepants

The magazine rack

    Ballooning Monthly
        Customized Balloon Ideas!
    Cooking with Coconut Magazine
        Recipes for the Holidays
        10 Easy Tips for Growing Your Own Tree
    Faberge Egg Owner
        [obscured] World's [obscured] 10 [obscured] Electins
        [obscured] Stocks
    Ballpoint Pen Digest
        History of the Ballpoint Pen
        Free Pen Offer
        Evaluating Inks
    Modern Jewish Father
        Win a Trip to Israel
        Paying for [illegible]

The bus depot


    Audrey Rosen {ar} notes that there was a guy passed out on the
    waiting room seats.

The Temple, courtesy of Dan Maloney {dm}

    Temple Beth Springfield.
    Rabbi Hyman Krustofski
    This Saturday: Coping with Christmas

    Ethan Miller {elm} notes that the nameplate on the rabbi's door
    spelled his last name with a `y'.

The KBBL studio

    A framed record of The Larry David Experience
    An autographed Bleeding Gums Murphy poster

    KBBL is pronounced K-babble [7G01] because it's a talk radio station.
    K-Babel is appropriate for this episode, but not for the station
    because they air Gabbin' About God only to keep the FCC from yanking
    their licence.

    The announcer is wearing a FOGHAT T-shirt.

Old Springfield Library

Note the `El Barto' graffito on the steps of Old Springfield Library. {dh}

Books Lisa consults, courtesy of Dan Maloney {dm}

    The Big Book of Chosen People
    Views on Jews
    Jewishness Revisited

Bart plays with a Biblical pop-up book.

        - the Garden of Eden
        - the Great Flood

Animation goofs

At the Catskills, the tables change from small round ones to long rectangular

The contents of Rev. Lovejoy's desk changes as the camera angle changes.
So does the time on the reverend's wall clock.

Lawrence Alan Schwimmer {las} notes that at the end of the show, when they
all said goodbye to their audience, Krusty did not show traces of the pie
on his face.  [Maybe he wears teflon make-up?  --rjc]

Mario Dorion (mario@theglove.Canada.Sun.Com) points out that when Bart and
the Rabbi played chess, the board was not in a correct position, the
corners on the right side of each player was black instead of white.

Dave Hall {dh} reports:

Miss Pennycandy had barged in on Krusty's `Sex Chat'.  She also left the
door open, but during whole scene it's shown to be closed.

The monkey had no tail.

The large green chair (that Lisa fell asleep on) sometimes vanishes.

Throughout the whole dinner scene, glasses seem to move about, or switch
from either containing liquid to being empty, to disappearing and
reappearing.  (Even the bottle of wine seems to get magically, and
conveniently placed next to Krusty too.)

I couldn't see Lisa's legs under the table.

Krusty doesn't have a shirt pocket until he needs one to pull his
trick handkerchief out of.  Magic!

Did Chryslers have power steering and dynaflow suspension 40 years ago?
(Krusty says, ``We haven't seen each other in 25 years!'')

[David Moery {dm2} replies:  Chrysler introduced power steering on its
1951 model year cars.  Dynaflow refers to Buick's automatic transmissions
of the same era, and does not refer to suspension.]

Krusty came in a car, yet when he left there was no car seen around the
Simpson house, nor did Krusty take his coat and bag with him.  Next scene
shows him wearing a raincoat.  (Or did the monkey drive Krusty's car home?)

It's really pouring cats and dogs, yet the sky depicts cumulus clouds,
something you usually don't see in downpours.

Before Krusty's story, Krusty worn a blue bow-tie, but after the story (for
a brief moment), it turned green (as well as his hair).

Handy reference guide to the episode

Profuse thanks to Andrew Tannenbaum {trb} for the following information.
In this section, `I' refers to Mr. Tannenbaum.

The blessing

The Hebrew blessing before the meal went as follows:

Baruch atah adonai,             Blessed are you Lord,
eloheinu, melech ha'olam,       our God, king of the universe,
hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz     who brings forth bread from the earth.

(The `ch' sound is in `loch ness' not as in `watch.')

This is the standard blessing before a full meal, which in Judaism,
is one that includes bread.  There are other blessings for particular
types of food, but if you eat bread at the meal, this blessing covers
all the food at the meal.  There is a much longer blessing after the
meal, which wasn't shown.

Krusty goes on to talk about the `bracha', meaning the blessing.

A lexicon

nosh.  [Yiddish, rhymes with wash]  snack.

zetz.  [Yiddish]  smack, like when a parent disciplines a child.

yeshiva.  [Hebrew]  Jewish parochial school.
                           _                        _
talmud.  [Hebrew, from talmudh `instruction', from lamadh `to learn']
         the most important Jewish commentary on the bible.
         The Babylonian Talmud was mentioned; the Jerusalem
         Talmud also exists.

talmudic.  pertaining to the talmud, or to biblical study.

Oy gevald!  [Yiddish]  for heaven's sake!
        (literally, ``gevald'' means ``violence'' in Yiddish)

Oy vei is mir.  [Yiddish]  Oh, woe is me.

pisher.  [Yiddish?]  derogatory or belittling term, literally,
         pisser (one who urinates).

mishegoyim.  [Yiddish?]  crazy people [More literally, crazy Gentiles. --rjc]

boychik.  [Russian/Yiddish]  diminutive form of English boy


 bris.  Ritual circumcision ceremony.]

Other observations

They went to a talmudic conference in the Catskills (that is a resort
north of New York City, which frequented by Jews in those days).  [Theron
Stanford {tws} adds that many Jewish entertainers got their start
performing in the Catskills.]

When the Rabbi first picks up the phone, there are 5 Hebrew letters on the
wall behind him, but I didn't recognize the word.  [Audrey Rosen {ar}
thinks it might have been `Shalom'.]

When Bart went into the Rabbi's study the first time, I think the Hebrew
letters were largely random, but the Rabbi read it, saying, ``mumble
mumble, rebonno shel olom, yes, yes'' - which means ``mumble mumble,
master of the universe, yes, yes.''  ``Rebonno shel olom'' is a fairly
common form of address when Rabbis talk about God.

In the library, when Lisa and Bart are researching, there is a Hebrew book
lying on its side.  It says ``talmud'' on the spine, which is fine except
that books of the talmud rarely say that on the spine.  The talmud is made
up of many books, and the spine usually has the title of the volume.

Some of the names at the end by the chess table:

    Rabbi Hillel
    Judah the Pious
    The Dead Sea Scrolls

Jewish entertainers

   Yes, Shatner <is> Jewish.  So is Nimoy, but that's not the point.
   Shatner is reported to have turned down a guest spot.

Comments and other observations


Previous episodes

    [7[FG]13] Nuclear cooling tower mugs ``borrowed'' from work

Krusty's dressing room door

Bill Baker {wab} reports:  ``Superimposed on the standard star on the
dressing room door is a likeness of Krusty.  The combination forms a
six-pointed Star of David.  Man, but do the animators cram this stuff in.''

Krusty's illiteracy

Krusty is known to have been illiterate in [7G12], and in [7F09] he held
Marge's angry letter upside-down.  In this episode, he appears to be
struggling to read Bart's letter, which shows that at least he's trying to
learn to read.  He didn't seem to have much difficulty reading `Sex Chat'.

On the other hand...

    - Krusty was first in his yeshiva class.  (Possibly exaggerated.)
    - Presumably, he passed his bar mitzvah which entails reading
      from the Torah.
    - He jotted down something when Bart called him about Izzy's Deli.

Ethan Miller {elm} suggests that perhaps Krusty can read Hebrew but not
English.  Andrew Tannenbaum {trb} agrees that this is a definite
possibility, especially since he grew up in a chassidic community.

Izzy's Diner

Not only does the Krusty the Klown sandwich consist entirely of pork
products, it is served with mayo on white bread.  Ethan Miller {elm}
points out that traditional Jewish deli fare is on rye with mustard
(corned beef, roast beef, pastrami, etc.).

There is some disagreement as to what was written on the menu.

Andrew Tannenbaum {trb} reads the Hebrew on the menu covers as ``XXX shel
eed, i.e., Jewish XXX, probably Jewish food or something like that.''

Ethan Miller {elm} reads it as ``XXX shel eer, which would mean
`<something> of the city'.  I can't really make out the first Hebrew word.
It looks like `hamazon', which means `food'.''

In private communication, Mr. Tannenbaum explained that the letters `d'
and `l' in Hebrew look very similar.

Stewart M. Clamen {smc} thought it read ``XXX shel eezee, that is,
XXX of Izzy, probably some word for deli.''

Robert Braham@{rmb} reads ``HMZN'' as ``ha-Maison''--a pompous
multilingual way of saying ``Izzy's Restaurant''.

From: (Robert Braham)

Fifty million Frenchmen can't be wrong notes that the sentence has been used to explain
Jerry Lewis' demigod status in France.  (The phrase began elsewhere, but
this is certainly the reference that was intended.)  Lawrence Alan
Schwimmer {las} points out that Jerry Lewis has indeed received the Legion
of Honor.

O Mein Papa

Audrey Rosen {ar} identifies the concluding song as ``Oh Mein Papa'', made
famous in the '50s by Eddie Fisher.  She also wonders what ever happened
to Krusty's ``Yiddishe Mama''?  There was a photo of Rabbi K. and his wife
on the Rabbi's desk, but no mention of the spouse...  [Maybe Joan Rivers
wasn't available? --rjc]


Kudos to the director for how Lisa said, ``Oh yeah!  It's all the kids
talk about on Monday at school.''  The combination of her facial expression
and hand gestures was hilarious.

Krusty thanks ``Miss Donna Mills (oh, she was a sport).''  This suggests
that Krusty abused her in some way or other (pie in the face?  seltzer
squirt?) but she took it with a smile.

Count the `Brighton Beach Memoirs' clip as yet another masturbation reference.

Quotes and scene summary

 On the set of the Krusty the Klown Show, Krusty concludes his axe-throwing
 act (with a hapless Sideshow Mel as the axe-ee).  He then thanks Mel,
 Corporal Punishment, Gina Ballerina, and (from Knots Landing) Miss Donna
 Mills.  He concludes with a song, and the second the cameras are off, he
 becomes depressed.  He cancels all his appointments, including his thank-you
 dinner with Bart for saving him from a robbery conviction.

 At home, Maggie sees SLH slurping water out of his water dish and decides
 to join him.  (Miss) Lois Pennycandy calls to inform Marge that Krusty has
 cancelled, for the fifth time.  ``Something really important came up at
 the last minute.''  (We see Krusty scrubbing mildew from his shower.)

 In Bart's room...
   Bart:     Okay, Milhouse, how many Krusty autographs should I put you
             down for?
   Milhouse: A hundred!
   Bart:     Consider it done.
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Singing ``This Could Be the Start of Something Big'', Bart applies generous
 amounts of Krusty Kologne and comes downstairs dressed sharp, to learn that
 Krusty isn't coming.  He returns to his room and writes an angry letter.
   Dear Krusty:  This is Bart Simpson, Krusty Buddy #16302, respectfully
   returning his badge.  I always suspected that nothing in life mattered.
   Now I know for sure.  Get bent!  -- Bart Simpson
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
   Krusty: [dials 1-900-SEX-CHAT]
   Voice:  You've reached the Party Line!  In a moment, you'll be connected to
           a hot party, with some of the world's most beautiful women!  Now,
           let's join the party!
           [five-way split screen, showing five men]
   Krusty: Hello?
   Man 1:  Hello?
   Man 2:  Hello?
   Apu:    Are there any women here?
   Krusty: Hello!?
   Apu:    Are you a beautiful woman?
   Krusty: [angrily] Do I sound like a beautiful woman?
   Apu:    This is not as hot a party as I anticipated.
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Lois comes in and shows Krusty the letter Bart sent.  (He has trouble
 reading it, of course.)  She threatens that if he doesn't go to the dinner,
 she'll quit.  Krusty gives in.  (``But I sure hate missing Schnapps Night
 at the Friar's Club.'')
   Marge: [gently reminding] Bart, wipe your feet.
   Bart:  Why bother?  They'll just get dirty again.
   -- A different point of view, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Marge tells Bart that Krusty is coming to dinner, this time for real.
   [a rap at the door in the `Shave and a Haircut' rhythm, with horn honks
    and Krusty's laugh in place of `Two Bits'.]
   Homer: You think it's him?
   -- Waiting for Krusty, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Krusty's loud entrance scares Maggie.  The doorbell rings again.  It's
 a neatly dressed Milhouse.  (``I was just in the neighborhood...'')
   Krusty: [entertaining the family by riding a unicycle while balancing
            a plant on his nose]
   Bart:   Krusty, you don't have to be `on' tonight.
   Homer:  What are you talking about!  Of course he does!
   Lisa:   No Dad, Krusty is our guest.  Your pratfalls and Punchinello
           antics aren't necessary here.
   Krusty: Really?
   Bart:   Yeah, just relax and be yourself.
   Krusty: Oh, that's a relief.  [gets down from unicycle, removes plant from
           nose (revealing that it was attached via suction cup), and releasing a
           chimp on roller skates]  Go wait in the car.  [the chimp skates away]
   Homer:  Aw, we could have seen the monkey!
   -- To complement the baboon, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 At the dinner table...
   Marge:    Who wants to say Grace?
   Lisa:     Why don't we let our guest do it?
   Milhouse: Bless us O Lord...
   Bart:     [whaps Milhouse]
   Milhouse: Hey!  [rubs his ample nose]
   -- My Dinner with Krusty, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Bart invites Krusty to do so...
   Krusty: [saying a pre-meal blessing]
           Baruch atah adonai,
           eloheinu, melech ha'olam,
           hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz.
   Homer:  Hee hee hee hee hee!  He's talking funny-talk!
   Lisa:   No Dad, that's Hebrew!  Krusty must be Jewish.
   Homer:  A Jewish entertainer?  Get out of here!
   Lisa:   Dad, there are many prominent Jewish entertainers, including
           Lauren Bacall, Dinah Shore, William Shatner, and Mel Brooks.
   Homer:  Mel Brooks is Jewish!?!
   -- Who would've known?  ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Krusty collapses in tears.
   Bart:   Krusty, are you all right?
   Krusty: Yes, it's just that saying the bracha brings back a lot of
           painful memories, the old days, my... my father... [bawls]
   Homer:  Hey, Krusty, you going to finish that meatloaf or what?
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 [End of Act One:  6:03]
   Poor Krusty.  He's like a black velvet painting come to life.
   -- Lisa, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 The family invite Krusty to tell his story.
   My name isn't Krusty the Klown.  It's Herschel Krustofsky.  My father was
   a rabbi.  <His> father was a rabbi.  His father's fath---  Well, you get
   the idea.
   -- Big shoes to fill with small feet (like all good-hearted people),
      ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Krusty flashes back to his youth.
   Man 1:   Should I finish college?
   Rabbi K: Yes.  No one is poor except he who lacks knowledge.
   Woman:   [babe in arms]  Rabbi, should I have another child?
   Rabbi K: Yes.  Another child would be a blessing on your house.
   Man 2:   Rabbi, should I buy a Chrysler?
   Rabbi K: Eh, couldn't you rephrase that as a, as an ethical question?
   Man 2:   Um...  Is it right to buy a Chrysler?
   Rabbi K: Oh, yes!  [chuckles]  For great is the car with power steering
            and dynaflow suspension!
   -- It is written... ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 But Hyman Krustofsky forbids his son to be a clown.  The urge was too
 great, and Herschel got his first big laughs at yeshiva, impersonating
 his father.  His father was not pleased.
   Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
   Bart:  Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
   Homer: Why you little! [strangles Bart]
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Lisa invites Krusty to continue.  ``My father tried to extinguish the
 comedy bug, but it was no use.''  The elder Krustofsky catches the younger
 with a seltzer bottle.  (``Oy gevald!'')  Then Krusty got his big chance,
 entertaining the Rabbis at a Talmudic conference in the Catskills.  His
 balloon sculptures of a Star of David and a Menorah are met with applause.
   Rabbi K: You know that my son Herschel was first in his yeshiva class?
            As a matter of fact, he was voted `The most likely to hear God'.
   Rabbi 2: Oh, go on, Hyman, you're exaggerating again, you're so proud of
            your son.
   Rabbi K: A rabbi would never exaggerate!  A rabbi composes.  He creates
            thoughts.  He tells stories that may never have happened.
            But he does not exaggerate!
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 But when a ``rowdy rabbi'' sprays Krusty with seltzer, his clown make-up
 runs and he is exposed for who he really is.
   Oy vey's mir!  You have brought shame on our family!
   Oh, if you were a musician or a jazz singer, this I could forgive.
   -- Rabbi Krustofsky to his son the clown, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 And he hasn't seen his father since.
   Bart:   Krusty, do you think about your father a lot?
   Krusty: All the time.  Except when I'm at the track.  Then it's all business.
   -- Keeping those emotions in check, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 It's almost midnight, Lisa has fallen asleep in an armchair, and Marge
 sleepily turns off the lights, as Homer, Bart, and Milhouse drowsily
 watch Krusty leaf excitedly through a family photo album.
   Krusty:   So, uh, Milhouse, know any knock-knock jokes?
   Milhouse: [crying] I want to go home!
   -- The clown who came to dinner, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Homer take Milhouse home, as Krusty excitedly discovers, ``Wow!  The
 concert for Bangladesh!'' and pops in the videotape.  Krusty finally
 bids the family good-bye, then asks, ``Hey, did I leave my keys inside?''
 Lisa and Bart immediately yell, ``No!!''  As Krusty walks away, it starts
 to rain.  He passes a porno movie house and watches a coin-op television
 at the bus depot.
   Announcer:  Academy Award Playhouse now returns you to...
               Hercules vs. the Martians!
   Martian:    Welcome to our spaceship, mighty Hercules.  Hahahaha.
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Krusty then decides to call his father.
   Rabbi K: [answering the phone]  Hello.  Hello?  Anybody there?
       What's this, I hear the phone ring, and suddenly there's nothing.
       I'm listening and there's no talking.  Hello, mister, who are you?
       Why would they call if they don't want to talk to you? [hangs up]
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 After an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon with a father-and-son theme...
   Didn't Itchy Junior look happy playing with his father?  And didn't Scratchy
   Junior look happy playing with his dad until they got run over by a thresher?
   -- Krusty asks the kids, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Krusty breaks down on camera.
   A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.
   -- Lisa Simpson on Krusty the Klown, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Bart and Lisa pay a visit to Reverend Lovejoy...
   Bart:  Reverend Lovejoy, we need you to help us find a rabbi.
   Rev.L: [flustered] Well, um, before you make any rash decisions, let me
          just remind you that the church is changing to meet the needs
          of today's young Christians!
   -- Church Chat, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
   Lisa:  We just want to find a Rabbi Krustofsky.
   Rev.L: Rabbi Krustofsky?  Well, I do a radio call-in show with him every
          Sunday night!
   Bart:  Really?
   Lisa:  I didn't know that.
   Rev.L: Gee, uh, I mention it in my sermon every week.
   Bart:  [false realization]  Oh, oh, <that> radio show!
   Lisa:  [playing along]  Oh yeah!  It's all the kids talk about on Monday at
   -- Church Chat, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Rev. Lovejoy gives the kids a `Gabbing about God' T-shirt.
   Bart:  Can you give us the rabbi's address?
   Rev.L: Oh, sure thing.  Let me just check my non-Christian rolodex...
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 The kids pay him a visit.
   Lisa:    Excuse us, Rabbi Krustofsky?
   Rabbi K: Oh, what can I do for you, my young friend?
   Bart:    We came to talk to you about your son.
   Rabbi K: I have no son!  [slams the door]
   Bart:    Oh great, we came all this way and it's the wrong guy.
   Rabbi K: [opens the door]  I didn't mean that literally!  [slams the door]
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 [End of Act Two.  Time:  13:09]

 At KBBL studios...
   And, in order to keep our broadcasting licence, we devote Sunday night
   dead time to public service shows of limited appeal.
   -- It's funny 'cause it's true, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
   Gabbin' about God, sponsored by Ace Religious Supply, where they say,
   ``If we don't got it, it ain't holy.''
   -- Or kosher, as appropriate, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 The announcer introduces Rev. Lovejoy, Msgr. Kenneth Daly, and Rabbi
   Announcer: And our first caller is from Shelbyville Heights.
   Caller:    Yes, hi.  With all the suffering and injustice in the world,
              do you ever wonder if God really exists?
   Rev. L:    No.
   Msgr. D:   [Irish accent] Not for a second.
   Rabbi K:   Not at all.
   Announcer: Great, good conversation there.  Our next call...
   -- Gabbing about God, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 The next call is for Rabbi Krustofsky.
   Rabbi K: Hello?  Anybody there?  I hear breathing but I don't hear talking.
            What's going on here?  Hello, mister?  Hello, hello?
   Krusty:  [sighs, hangs up]
   Rabbi K: Some people got nothing to do but call people and hang up.
            There's all kinds of mishegoyim in the world.
   -- Gabbing about God, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 The next caller is Bart.
   Bart:      Hello, my name's Dmitri.  I'm a first-time caller, long-time
              listener.  My question is, if a son defies his father and chooses
              a career that makes millions of children happy, shouldn't the
              father forgive the son?
   Rev. L:    I think so.
   Msgr. D:   Yes, of course.
   Rabbi K:   No way!  Absolutely not!  Never, never!  Who screens these calls?
              Who's in charge here?  There's nobody in charge?  They leave
              a building without people watching it, and anybody who wants can...
   -- Gabbing about God, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Bart puts into action ``a plan that can't fail''.  He goes to Yiddle's
 and gets a fake beard, moustache, and eyebrows.  In the park, Rabbi
 Krustofsky is engaged in a discussion, and Bart pokes his head in,
 suggesting he forgive his son.  Rabbi Krustofsky tells him, ``Get out of
 here, you little pisher.''  At home...
   Bart: Oy!  This guy's tough.
   Lisa: Bart, we're going to have to outsmart him.
   Bart: I dunno, he's pretty sharp.  He saw right through this disguise.
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
   Rabbi K: [answers phone]  What?  Saul Bellow?  The Nobel-prize-winning
            Jewish novelist?  He wants to have lunch with me?
            Ha ha!  It's a date!  Izzy's Deli, one o'clock, I'll be there!
   Krusty:  [on the phone]  The French government wants to give <me>
            the Legion of Honor?  Where do I receive this prestigious
            award?  [writes]  Izzy's Deli.  One o'clock.  [puts pencil
            down]  Thank you, Monsieur President!
   Bart:    [holding his nose]  Au revoir!
   -- Heeding the call, or, Many are called... ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Bart and Lisa observe from a nearby booth.
   Waitress: And for you, sir?
   Rabbi K:  Ah, let's see.  I want a nice sandwich.  But the Joey Bishop,
             eh, too fatty.  the Jackie Mason?  I dunno, sauerkraut makes me
             gas.  Bruce Willis?  I don't even like his work!  What is this?
             Krusty the Klown?
   Waitress: That's ham, sausage, and bacon, with a smidge of mayo.
   Rabbi K:  What!?
   Waitress: On white bread.
   -- Izzy's Deli, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Rabbi Krustofsky storms off in disgust before Krusty arrives.
   Krusty:   [humming the Marseillaise]  Um, could you direct me to
             President Francois Mitterand's table?
   Waitress: You think you're funny?
   Krusty:   Fifty million Frenchmen can't be wrong!
   -- You wanna bet?  ``Like Father, Like Clown''
   Lisa: Bart, we've been going about this all wrong.  What's the one thing
         rabbis prize above everything else?
   Bart: Those stupid hats?
   -- ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 But Lisa meant Knowledge.
   We're going to hit him where it hurts.  Right in the Judaica.
   -- Lisa Simpson on Rabbi Krustofsky, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 They pay a visit to the Old Springfield Library...
   Agugugug.  Glug glug glug.  `Oh, Noah, Noah!  Save us!  Save us!'  `No!'
   -- Bart plays with a biblical pop-up book, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Lisa hands Bart a slip of paper, and
 Bart quotes the Babylonian Talmud, but the rabbi counters with the
 fifth commandment.  Back at the library, Lisa has come up with
 ``some dynamite stuff from Rabbi Simon ben Eliezer.''  She and Bart
 exchange high-fives.  Bart visits Rabbi Krustofsky in the sauna...
   Bart:    At all times, let a man be supple as a reed and not rigid
            as a cedar.
   Others:  Ah, mm.  [general murmers of appreciation]
   Rabbi K: But, my short learned friend, the book of Joshua says, ``You
            shall medidate on the torah all day and all night.''
   Others:  Ah, mm.  [general murmers of appreciation]
   Man:     All night?
   -- Dueling scriptures, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 Lisa has fallen asleep at the library, and Bart finds a slip of
 paper tucked under her arm.  He visits the rabbi once again, this
 time, while he's performing a bris.  One last visit to the library...
   Lisa: [tired]  Here you go, Bart.  It's a longshot, but that's all
         I can do without learning ancient Hebrew.
   Bart: [stares at her]
   Lisa: Bart!  I am <not> going to learn ancient Hebrew!!
   -- But you already know pig Latin, how much different can it be?
      ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 In the park, as Bart and Rabbi Krustofsky play chess, Bart plays
 his final card, and the rabbi is impressed.  The quote is by
 Sammy Davis, Jr., an entertainer.  (``The Candy Man?'')  The rabbi
 is won over.

 Krusty does his show without enthusiasm.  While an I&S cartoon runs,
 Krusty relaxes with a cigarette, and his father comes in.  The two
 are reunited, and Krusty makes the tender announcement on his show,
 and he and his father sing a song together.
   Moe:    [moved to tears]  I got something in my eye...
   Barney: Here, take my hankie.
   Moe:    [sees Barney's filthy handkerchief]  Agh!
   -- It's the thought that counts, ``Like Father, Like Clown''
 At the conclusion of the song, Bart hands Rabbi Krustofsky a cream pie,
 and he throws it in Krusty's face.  (No longer just for noshing.)
 They embrace, and there are laughs all around.

 [End of Act Three.  Time:  20:37]
   Episode summaries Copyright 1991 by Raymond Chen.  Not to be redistributed
   in a public forum without permission.  (The quotes themselves, of course,
   remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain
   the property of the original authors.  I'm just taking credit for the

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