Lisa's Pony

Lisa's Pony                                   Written by Al Jean and Mike Reiss
                                                       Directed by Carlos Baeza

TV Guide synopsis

After disappointing Lisa (again), Homer buys her a pony, creating a stableful
of problems requiring a second job---the graveyard shift at Apu's Kwik-E-Mart.
Voices: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Yeardley Smith.

Title sequence

Cut from clouds directly to driveway.

Driveway   :- Homer says `D'oh' when Lisa scoots past.

Couch      :- Homer gets there first and lies down.
              The rest of the family arrive and sit on him.
              Homer flails his arms.

In Canada (thanks to Alan J. Rosenthal {ajr})

Blackboard :- "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
              "Bart Bucks" are not le            at cutoff.

Lisa's solo:- Basically the second season solo, but re-recorded.

Couch      :- Same as the US version.

Didja notice...

    ... Doris Grau provided the voice of Lunch Lady Doris?
        Frank Welker is known for doing animal noises, so he
        most likely did the horse noises and perhaps also the
        ape noises in the 2001 spoof.
    ... the date on the calendar is 7 November, the date of the episode's
        first airing?
    ... Homer was wearing sneakers at work?
    ... Homer's VCR is a Beta!
    ... the adorable pictures of the kids over Homer and Marge's bed?
    ... the Nuclear cooling tower book-ends (seen when Homer asked for a loan)?
    ... the drawing of Bart magnet'ed to the fridge?  Bart's right eye
        is missing, and his mouth is zippered shut.  Brendan Kehoe {bpk}
        challenges us to identify what famous artist this is mimicking.
    ... Apu's girlfriend is Princess Cashmere!
    ... the angels in Homer's slumber were little Homers?

Dave Hall {dh}:
    ... as Homer wrote the reed reminder on his left shoe, there is a `Fix
        this' message over a hole that's probably caused by something
        radioactive?  (Later, Homer reads this reminder from his right shoe.)
    ... Milhouse wasn't wearing a shirt under his one-button jacket?
        (In general, Milhouse also doesn't wear socks.)
    ... when Homer pleads with Jerry, Homer is wearing his watch upside down?
    ... Jimbo, Kerny, and Dolph were sitting in the back row when
        Homer came in to the talent show?
    ... when the camera was panning left to show Homer watching TV, a cat
        can be clearly seen?  Was this Snowball I?
    ... some of the animals were facing towards the back of their cages?
    ... when Homer smashed the car into the support beam, the airbag didn't
        go off?  (Prior to that, he also hit the mailbox and letters
        fell out.)
    ... the circular saw fell on Homer's head blade first!  Homer also left
        the keys in the car.
    ... when Homer and Lisa walk into the sunrise, Lisa seems to be walking
        bow-legged?  (I wonder why?)

Mixed reviews

Stephen C. Miller {scm}:  A really mediocre episode, especially coming on
the tail of last week's primo episode [8[FG]02].  I feel like there is the
Simpsons I know and love, and then there is its evil twin.  The Simpsons I
know and love is really cynical and political and nihilist and so forth.
The evil twin thinks ponies are cute.

Shawn Harrington {sh}:  I completely agree.  What <is> it with this
season's shows, anyway?  Nearly every other one has been loaded with
``sweetness 'n' light''.  Yeesh!  Enough is enough.

Mike Lee {ml2}:  Here I was relieved that the Simpsons have returned to
classic form:  unpredictable scenes, flamboyant humor (Apu in bed), and
bathroom jokes.

David Hyatt {dh2}:  An average episode, i.e., terrific.

Andrew Tannenbaum {trb}:  I found it to be fairly surreal:  Homer heading
toward heaven (in pale blue), Lisa waking up with a pony's head in her bed
(apparently), Lisa blowing her sax solo most heinously (it wasn't her
fault) during the talent show from hell, Lisa mimicking Katherine Hepburn
while riding a pony.  None of this was standard Simpson's fare.

Steve Portigal {sp}:  A great episode, definitely.

Ron Carter {rc}:  I liked the episode (granted, not as good as the 'ween
episode) 'cause it shows you -can- be fuzzy -and- cynical as all get out...
[I believe Ron Carter meant `funny', not `fuzzy'.  But maybe he <did>
mean `fuzzy'... --rjc]

Yours Truly {rjc}:  Another classic not-happy-ending story.  Lisa gets the
one thing she wants most in the whole world, and has to give it up for the
good of her family.  I laughed so hard after the Godfather reference, I
didn't recover until nearly two scenes later.

Movie (and other) References

  + 2001: A Space Odyssey
        - the opening scene
        - it was even letterboxed {dk}
        - music from the movie
            - Atmospheres by Ligeti (the choral stuff)
            - Also Sprach Zarathustra by Strauss (the fanfare)
            - The Blue Danube by another Strauss (when the scene switches
              to SNPP)
  ~ Gallagher (stand-up comic)'s act
        - You <will> get wet. {rc2}  [I think Gallagher stole it from
          SeaWorld's Shamu show. --rjc]
  + Fantasy Island
        - Homer is watching it when Lisa takes her first steps.
  + The Godfather
        - Lisa screams in terror when she finds a horse in her bed.
        - In the movie, when the owner of an expensive horse refuses
          to pay protection money, he finds the head of his dead horse
          in his bed.
  + The Magnificent Seven
        - The music when Lisa rides the pony into the bedroom.
  + Katharine Hepburn (but why?)
        - Fahther, you've made me the happiest gahl who ever lived!
  ? National Velvet
        - Lisa's elocution. {rc}
  ? High Chaparral
        - Lisa's riding instructor (and the music) {rc}
  + Little Nemo in Slumberland
        - Homer's dream {rlc}
        - Originally LN appeared as a comic in newspapers in the early years
          of this century. The scruffy-looking Man in the Moon had Windsor
          McCay's style perfecto, and the Homer Asleep at the Wheel sequence
          captured the essence of LN wonderfully. {abw}
        - Man in the Moon was in the style of Little Nemo, but Homer Asleep
          at the Wheel was much closer to Windsor McCay's ``Dreams of the
          Rarebit Fiend'' series. {ts}
  + You Can Take This Job and Shove It (a song and a movie)
        - You can take this job and restaff it!  {dk}
    I Just Called To Say I Love You (pop song)
        - Lisa does exactly that

Freeze Frame Fun

Lisa's outfit

    A white dress, a double necklace, and a flower in her hair.
    During her performance, her necklace changed color (i.e. blue). {dh}

Stores in Springfield

King Toot's Music Store (hours: 10--7)
    A picture of an Egyptian blowing a horn.  (A pun on `King Tut'.) {dh}

Phineas Q. Butterfat
    5600 flavors

    The Mount Bellyache (delivered on a wheelbarrow) is a four-foot-tall
    monstrosity consisting of a chocolate fudge base, topped with lots
    of bananas and whipped cream.  It costs $88.

All Creatures Great and Cheap

    You pet it, you bought it.
    Rubber bones, 99 cents.

The Grateful Geldings

Fiesta Terrace for Single Living

SNPP Employee Credit Union

    Ask about our paycheck docking plan {ajr}

The Kwik-E-Mart

    * Checks
    * Credit Cards
    * Food Stamps

Animation and continuity goofs

In the videotape of baby Lisa, Homer has a reasonably full head of hair.

But in [8[FG]05], Homer had lost his hair when the photos were taken, which
would be when Bart was about 3 years old (and Lisa about 1 year old).

Moreover, we know [7[FG]11] that Homer doesn't own a camcorder, so how did
they tape Lisa's first steps and her first words?  Dave Hall {dh} points
out that there was no VCR under the TV set, so presumably they borrowed
the camcorder.

In the intro, the store to the right of Moe's is an electronics store,

not a music store.

There have been three fillies to win the Kentucky Derby. The first was

in the 1900's, dead long before Seattle Slew came around.  The second was
Genuine Risk in the 1980.  She <could> have been bred to Seattle Slew, but
she never gave birth to a live foal.  The third, Winning Colors, has had one
child, a filly by Mr. Prospector.  Of course, if there <were> such an animal,
$500,000 sounds like a real bargain! {swm}

Andy Peed {abp} points out that ``that stunning creature over there''

could not have been a pony.  A pony is a maximum of 14.5 hands (4 feet, 10
inches) at the withers.  Anything taller is a horse.

Note, however, that the horse trainer never called it a pony.


Dave Hall {dh}:

Homer's calendar depicts the year is either being 1987, or 1992 (or
other?). (There is no such thing is Sunday, Nov. 21st for these years.)

For one scene, Moe didn't have the towel in the glass, only his hand.

In Marge's mind's-eye, the car seems to be jacked-up at the back.  The
back is raised more than the front where the flat is.  [Maybe Homer was so
stupid, he jacked up the wrong end? --rjc]

Although you hear the audience clapping, you don't actually see them
clapping. (Note the man in the audience seems to have half his head

Homer's shirt pocket exists only for the purpose of putting the
postdated check in it.  It doesn't exist before or afterwards.

While in bed, Princess didn't have on her reins, yet, when Lisa was riding
her, she did have it on.

Homer's right thumb seems to be attached to his left hand when he was
holding up the ticket to Apu. (See for yourself!)

Homer's coin seems to have disappeared after he used it to scratch the

An FF on Homer stealing the beef jerky doesn't actually show Homer's hand
in the glass jar.

Intro shot of Homer sleeping at the plant depicts him to be wearing shoes
rather then the sneakers that are seen later on.  (You can see the heels.)

Johnny Carson's pants seem to blend in with the floor.

Although the TV room and what Bart said, it suppose to be late, yet if you
look out the bay window, you still see light (daylight scene).

When Homer left for his 8 hour walk, he left out the back door, yet, next
scene show him in the car... which is in the garage?

The window glass at the Kwik-E-Mart didn't show Homer and Lisa's reflection.

Homer's hat was pink only during Bart's order.

Lisa's reed crisis

Marc Colten {mc} suggests that Lisa could've gotten a replacement reed
from Bleedin' Gums Murphy, who was one of the judges.  Moreover, since
she saw Homer in the audience, she could've asked for a second chance
after replacing her reed.

Brian D. Moore {bdm} and I {rjc} responded...

(1) Bleedin' Gums Murphy plays a tenor sax, whereas Lisa plays a bari.
(2) He probably doesn't carry spare reeds around with him.
(3) Being a much more experienced sax player than Lisa, Murphy probably
    uses reeds much harder than Lisa's 4 1/2.  [Brent M. Lofgren {bml}
    notes, though, that 4 1/2 reeds are pretty darn hard.  Beginners
    use a 1 1/2 (quite soft), working up to a 2 or 3 at the college level.]
(4) Asking Murphy for a reed might be construed as fraternizing with the

Though I agree with Marc Colten that it would have been completely in
character for Homer to run down the aisle toward the stage yelling,
``I ... HAVE ... THE ... REED!''  (Indeed, I was expecting him to do
that, possibly stumbling over people's feet on the way.)

David Hyatt {dh2} recalls that at his elementary school, the band
instructor always had an ample supply of extra reeds, bows, strings,
mouthpieces, etc.  [Indeed, I recall that at my grammar school, you
actually bought your reeds FROM the band instructor!  And everybody knows
you always carry spare reeds in your instrument case, just in case.  --rjc]

Comments and other observations

The music

Ron Carter {rc} noted that the music during the ``What man can tame her?''

exchange sounds like `It's a Small World'.  But it's actually an augmentation
of the music that plays when Homer pays his first visit to the horse farm.

Scott Amspoker {sa} identifies the guitar music during Homer's nighttime

nap/drive as ``Golden Slumbers'' from the Beatles' ``Abby Road'' album.

At the beginning of the 2001 spoof, before the apes are shown, the clouds

   in the sky are spelling out a word.  Loosely, but definitely they are
   spelling out `SMILE'.  Joe Kincaid {jk} can't figure out why.

The talent show

Lisa was calling from a pay phone backstage, even though she isn't tall
enough to reach the phone to dial or to put money in. {dh}

Was baby Lisa the cutest thing or what?

   Dave Hall {dh} points out that, even when a baby, Lisa had her necklace.

   Brendan Kehoe {bpk} was rather taken with the salt lick scene.

The animation

Robert Steven Glickstein ( asks:

Did anyone get the impression that the animation was a little bit shoddy?
Leaning towards the Saturday-morning-cartoon look?  There's nothing I can
put my finger on about how the show looked, but it just didn't look the
same.  It affected the way I viewed the characters; they didn't seem like
their normal selves to me.  Something was just ever-so-slightly askew.

Brian Howard {bh} replies:

My wife said the same thing, that everything seemed a bit `off model.'  My
eye isn't so finely tuned as hers, but there were definite problems with
the shape of Homer's head, with Apu's lips (in one scene they get huge as
he's talking, then shrink again), and with lots of characters' eyes.  It's
probably because she quit Klasky-Csupo to marry me just as they started
work on this show, and without her as production coordinator the quality
has gone down the drain. ...  Actually, it might have to do with the fact
that this was the first show directed by Carlos Baeza.

Quotes and scene summary

 The Dawn of Man:  ``2001:  A Space Odyssey'', Simpsons style.  A group of
 ape-men (one of which looks just like Homer) sit around a watering hole.
 All but Homer-ape discover the monolith and proceed to discover tools.
 Homer-ape reclines against the monolith and snoozes.

 Homer is awaken from his slumber at the power plant by a phone call from
 Lisa.  She's calling from the school talent contest...
   Lisa:  [on the phone]
          Dad, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.
   Homer: Uh, isn't this the kind of thing your mother's better at?
   Lisa:  I called her; she's not home.  I also tried Mr. Flanders, Aunt Patty,
          Aunt Selma, Dr. Hibbert, Reverend Lovejoy, and that nice man who caught
          the snake in our basement.
   Homer: Wow, and after them, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.
   -- My one and only, ``Lisa's Pony''
 At the talent show...
   Well, you're in for a whale of a show tonight.  Uh, I'd like to point out
   that the doors are now locked, so you parents can't sneak out of the show
   after your own child as performed.  Oh, and let me caution the people in
   the first five rows:  You <will> get wet.
   -- Principal Skinner opens the school talent contest, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer arrives at the music store,
   Homer: [sees sign:  Open 10 - 7, checks his watch.  It's 6:55]
          Whew!  Just in the nick of
          [spots Moe's Tavern next door]
          Mmmmmm.  Beeeeer.
   -- Your attention, please, ``Lisa's Pony''
 He heads into Moe's.
   Homer: Hurry, Moe, hurry, I've only got five minutes 'til the music store
   Moe:   Well, why don't you go there first?
   Homer: Hey!  Do I tell you how to do <your> job?
   Moe:   Sorry, Homer. [draws a mug of beer]
   Homer: You know, if you tip the glass, there won't be so much foam on top.
   Moe:   Sorry, Homer.
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 To the music of Katchaturian's Sabre Dance, Kim does a daring balancing act
 atop a dozen chairs precariously stacked atop one another.  The judges are
 Groundskeeper ``Bagh!  I thought I would be watching the boilers!'' Willy,
 Lunch Lady Doris, and Bleedin' Gums Murphy.

 Homer polishes off his mug of beer with fifteen seconds to spare, but finds
 the music store already closed.  Homer bangs his head on the table.
   Jerry: What's the matter, buddy?
   Homer: The moron next door closed early!
   Jerry: I happen to be that moron.
   Homer: Oh... Me and my trenchant mouth!
   -- For whom the bold tells, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Milhouse plays the spoons on his face.
   Pr. Skinner: [watchs Milhouse's pathetic act]
                Oh terrible, just terrible.  You know, they seem to get worse
                every year.  [comes out on stage]
                Wonderful!  You know, I think this is the best pageant we've
                ever had.  I really do!
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 Next is Bart Simpson, ``The boy with a thousand voices''.  Bart does
 unflattering impressions of Principal Skinner and Lunch Lady Doris.
 The impersonatees are not amused, but the kids (and Murphy) love it.
 Homer pleads with the man to open the store, but he refuses.
   Homer: Okay, okay, but I want you to see a picture of the little girl
          you're disappointing.  [looks through his wallet]
          Well, I don't have one.
   -- Use your imagination, ``Lisa's Pony''
   Moe:   Come on, Jer, open up, be a pal.  Remember when I pulled you and your
          wife out of that burning car?
   Jerry: Well, okay, okay.  But now we're even.
   -- Begging Jerry to open his music shop, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer eventually figures out what he's supposed to pick up.
   Jerry: What instrument does she play?
   Homer: ... [whining] I don't know...
   -- Buying a replacement reed for Lisa, ``Lisa's Pony''
 To the strains of Offenbach's Can-Can, Sherri throws knives blindfolded at
 Terri, who is spinning on a wooden disc.  (Or is it Terri and Sherri?)
   Lisa:  Mom, where is he?  If I don't get that reed, I'll sound terrible!
   Marge: Don't worry, honey, I'm sure your father is...
          [imagines Homer fixing a flat tire]         Maybe.
          [imagines Homer chased up a tree by a bear] No.
          [imagines Homer abducted by aliens]         That's a long shot.
          [imagines Homer at Moe's Tavern]            Bingo.
   -- Whatever remains, however improbable... ``Lisa's Pony''
 At the music store...
   Jerry: Clarinet?
   Homer: No.
   Jerry: Oboe?
   Homer: No.
   Jerry: Saxophone?
   Homer: No.  Wait a minute, what was that last one again?
   Jerry: Saxophone!
   Homer: [recalls]  Lisa, stop playing that stupid... saxophone!  Yes, that's it!
   Jerry: Alto or tenor?
   Homer: D'oh!
   -- Buying a replacement reed for Lisa, ``Lisa's Pony''
 The talent show continues...
   [singing]  My ding-a-ling.  My ding-a-ling.
   I want you to play with my ding-a-ling...
   -- Student's entry in the school talent contest, ``Lisa's Pony''
 He's quickly yanked off the stage.  Next up is Lisa...
   Let's all enjoy Lisa Simpson's rendition of Stormy Leather, uh, Weather.
   -- Principal Skinner's reduction, er, introduction, ``Lisa's Pony''
 With a bum reed, Lisa's playing is hardly acceptable.  (``Sounds like that
 gopher I caught in me lawn mower,'' complains Groundskeeper Willy.)  Homer
 hears Lisa's playing and notes, ``I'd hate to be that kid's father.''  Then
 he sees who the kid in question is.  Principal Skinner cuts Lisa's
 performance short, and only Homer applauds.  Lisa cries.

 [End of Act One.  Time:  5:28]

 At the ice cream shop, Homer buys Lisa a HUMONGOUS sundae, but Lisa hardly
 touches it.
   Homer: Look, I let you down, and I apologize.  I know that doesn't make it
          right, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
   Lisa:  [not convincingly]  I forgive you.
   Homer: D'oh!  You didn't mean that!
   Lisa:  No, I didn't.
   -- Some things are not lost on Homer, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer watches a videotape labelled `BABY LISA'.
   Lisa:  [as a baby, taking her first steps]
   Marge: [o.s.]  Look, Homer!  Lisa's taking her first steps!
   Homer: [engrossed in watching TV]  You taping it?
   Marge: Yes.
   Homer: I'll watch it later.
   -- Let's go to the videotape, ``Lisa's Pony''
   Tattoo: De plane!  De plane!
   Mr. R:  No, my freakish little friend.  That's a seagull.
   -- Watching TV, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Baby Lisa teeters in front of the TV set, where Homer picks her up
 and moves her out of the way.
   Lisa:  [as a baby, in her high chair]  Dada?  Dada?
   Marge: [o.s.]  Did you hear that, Homer?
          [pan over to Homer strangling Bart]
   Homer: Marge, please, I'm busy!
   -- Lisa's first words, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer realizes that Lisa hates her because he never paid attention to her.
 Marge suggests he just spend some time with her.  Homer plays tea with
 Lisa, as Bart and Milhouse mock them from the next room.  Homer leaps
 from his chair (overturning Lisa's little tea table in the process) to
 go after Bart.  Homer tries to blow-dry Lisa's hair.  Homer pushes Lisa
 on a swing, but pushes too hard, and she goes flying off.
   Maybe I should just cut my losses, give up on Lisa, and make a fresh start
   with Maggie.
   -- Homer, ``Lisa's Pony''
   Marge: Homey, you've got to stop looking for the quick fix.  If you keep
          spending time with Lisa, she'll forgive you.
   Homer: Marge, if I spend any more time doing these girl things, I'm going to,
          you know, go fruity.  No, you were right the first time with that
          quick fix idea.
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
   Homer: I'll buy her that pony she's always bugging me for.
   Marge: We can't afford to buy a pony.
   Homer: Marge, with today's gasoline prices, we can't afford <not>
          to buy a pony.
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 Marge tries to be realistic; a pony is very expensive.
   Marge: You sound like you're going to buy a pony.  Promise me you won't.
   Homer: Mm.
   Marge: What was that?  Was that a yes or a no?
   Homer: Buh!
   Marge: Those aren't even words!
   Homer: Snuh!
   Marge: Mmmmm. [turns off the light]
   Homer: [huge grin]
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer pays a visit to the pet shop.
   Oh my!  What is that smell! [sees Homer]  Oh, it's you.
   -- Pet shop owner, ``Lisa's Pony''
   Homer: Excuse me, do you sell ponies?
   Owner: Uh, sure, pal.  Right here.  [points at a cage]
   Homer: [reads the sign]  Scottish deer hound.  [$259]  Hey!  This is a dog!
   Owner: Oh, my friend, you're smarter than I gave you credit for!
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 He directs Homer at the pony farm on route 401.  (Merely take a left at
 the rendering plant.)  At the farm...
   Homer: Now lady, I'm buying a pony for my little girl, and I don't care what
          it costs.
   Lady:  Very good.  That stunning creature over there is half
          a million dollars.
   Homer: Half a million dollars!?
   Lady:  He was sired by Seattle Slew, and his mother won the Kentucky Derby.
   Homer: Wow.
   Lady:  His likeness graces a stamp in Tanzania.
   -- Shopping around for ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer pays for it with a check, postdated to 1 January 2054.  The lady
 refuses to take it.  Their cheapest pony is $5000.
   Isn't there a pound where you can pick up cheap ponies that ran away from
   -- Homer shops for ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer goes to the Employee Credit Union.  For a loan of $5000, the teller
 defers to...
   Burns:  [appears behind the employee credit union desk] Hello.
   Homer:  Ack!
   Burns:  [reads the loan application] Simpson, eh?
   -- Paying for ``Lisa's Pony''
   Burns: Are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws?
   Homer: [slowly]  Usury?
   Burns: Oh, silly me!  I must've just made up a word that doesn't exist.
   -- Approving Homer's loan to pay for ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer explains he needs to buy a pony.
   Smithers: You have any collateral?
   Burns:    Oh, Smithers, let's not be so cold.  His spirit is my collateral.
   -- Approving Homer's loan to pay for ``Lisa's Pony''
   Burns:    Just sign this form, and the money will be yours.  Muhahahahaha...
             Ahem.  Sorry, I was just um, eh, um, thinking of something funny
             Smithers did today.
   Smithers: I didn't do anything funny today.
   Burns:    [hand over mouth]  Shut! up!
   -- Approving Homer's loan to pay for ``Lisa's Pony''
 At the pony farm...
   Lady:  Mr. Simpson, are you quite sure you know how to take care of a pony?
   Homer: [shoving the pony into the back seat]  Of course!
   -- Buying ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer drives the pony home (which helps itself to the car upholstry).

 Lisa wakes up and screams in terror when she finds a pony in her bed.
 Then she realizes that it's a gift.  Marge is very upset.
   Marge: Mmm...  I am <very> upset with you.
   Homer: Sounds like someone's angling for a pony of her own!
   -- Homer just purchased ``Lisa's Pony''
   Bart:  Hey, how come Lisa gets a pony?
   Homer: Because she stopped loving me.
   Bart:  I don't love you either, so give me a moped.
   Homer: Well, I know you love me, so you don't get squat.  Hee hee hee.
   -- The squeaky wheel gets the squat, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Lisa introduces Princess to SLH and Snowball 2.  (``Please don't exclude
 her because she's different.'')  Maggie feeds the pony with her pacifier.
   Marge: Homer, just where were you planning to keep this horse?
   Homer: I got it all figured out.  By day, it'll roam free around the
          neighborhood, and at night, it'll nestle snugly between the cars
          in our garage.
   Lisa:  Dad, no!
   Marge: That's illegal!
   Homer: That's for the courts to decide!
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer reluctantly puts the horse in a stable.
   This is what love costs a month?
   -- Homer sees the $530/month bill for stable fees to house ``Lisa's Pony''
   Lady: I'm teaching your daughter riding, grooming, and at no extra charge,
   Lisa: [atop Princess, in riding gear]
         Fahther, you've made me the happiest gahl who ever lived!
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 [End of Act Two.  Time:  12:12]

 Bart tries to help Grampa play a video game, but it proves too confusing
 for him.
   Grampa: [fumbling with the joystick] What do I do?
   Bart:   Grampa, do you want to go to the right?
   Grampa: Yes?
   Bart:   Move the joystick to the left.
   Grampa: Yes, move the... What's a joystick!  You didn't tell me...
   Bart:                                        Ooh, ahh, ooh, ooh, here comes a
           Xylon Cruiser!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!
   Grampa:                 A Xylon Cruiser!?
   Bart:                                       Go into hyperspace!  Ready? Hit it!
   Bart:   Grampa, you're the spaceship, not the...
   Grampa:                               I'm the what!?  I thought I was <this>
           guy.  [the ship explodes]  Ohhhhh!
   Bart:   Game's over, Grampa.
   Grampa: I got down on the floor for this!?
   -- Playing video games, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Lisa catches Homer.
   Lisa:  Wait Dad, I've got something for you.  [kisses him]
   Homer: Oh, I was hoping it'd be money.
   -- How to pay for ``Lisa's Pony''
 Marge spends time with the adding machine and comes to a grim conclusion.
   Marge: We're just going to have to cut down on luxuries.
   Homer: Well, you know, we're always buying Maggie vaccinations for diseases
          she doesn't even have!
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 Since Homer won't cut down on that wonderful Duff,
 Marge says that they have no choice to give up the pony.
   First you didn't want me to get the pony.  Now you want me to take it back!
   Make up your mind!
   -- Homer argues with Marge over ``Lisa's Pony''
 Marge leaves him to deal with the problem.
   Homer: There's plenty of money out there for a guy who's willing to work
          for it!  Do you have any jewelry you don't need any more?
   Marge: Mmmmmmm...
   -- Paying for ``Lisa's Pony''
 At the stable, Lisa introduces Princess to the salt lick.  (``Num num!'')

 Homer goes into the Kwik-E-Mart muttering, ``Need money.''  He buys a
 ``Scratch-for-Cash'' ticket and scratches off one liberty bell, two
 liberty bells, and pretends to have gotten a third and claims his $10,000
 prize.  ``Please to be removing your thumb,'' asks Apu, and he wrests the
 ticket out of Homer's hands.  The third square was a cherry.
   Homer: Oh, I need money.
   Apu:   Well, if you need money, you should have at least jammed a gun in my
          ribs, or better yet, you could inquire about my help-wanted sign.
   Homer: You're looking for help?
   Apu:   Yes, we need someone for the demanding yet high-profile midnight to
          8am shift.
   Homer: I'm your man!
   Apu:   You're hired.  Oh, how I dreamed the day would come when one of <you>
          would be working for <me>.
   -- Must've been the jam, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Lisa practices show-jumping.
   Chuck:     She certainly tamed that horse.
   Student 2: Yes, but what man can tame her?
   -- Watching Lisa and ``Lisa's Pony''
 At the Kwik-E-Mart, Homer is in a trainee's uniform.
   Apu:   I won't lie to you.  On this job, you <will> be shot at.
          [reveals his chest]  Each of these bullet wounds is a badge of honor.
   Homer: [taking notes]  Badge of honor.
   Apu:   Here's a pointer.  Try to take it in the shoulder.
   -- Working at the Kwik-E-Mart, ``Lisa's Pony''
   Apu:   Now, these hot dogs have been here for three years.  They are
          strictly ornamental.  There is only one bozo who comes in and
          buys them.
   Homer: But I eat... Oh.
   -- Working at the Kwik-E-Mart, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer arrives home at breakfast-time.  (``The perfect crime.'')
   Homer: Marge, could we go in the other room?
          I did something last night I'm not proud of, and I don't want
          the kids to hear it.
   Bart:  Busted!
   Homer: [in the other room, explaining]  I'll work from midnight to eight,
          come home, sleep for five minutes, eat breakfast, sleep six more
          minutes, shower, then I have ten minutes to bask in Lisa's love,
          then I'm off to the power plant, fresh as a daisy.
   Bart:  [at the breakfast table, hears a thud]  Oh my God, she killed him!
          [rushes into the living room; Homer has passed out, asleep]
   -- Death of a Kwik-E-Mart Salesman, ``Lisa's Pony''
 At work, Homer swipes a beef jerky.  (``Mmm. Salty.'')  Then he sticks
 his mouth under a soda dispenser, but Apu catches him.

 Lisa plays the sax for Princess.  (``This next song is also about a girl
 and her pony.  It's called `Wildfire'.'')

 At the Fiesta Terrace, Apu is in bed with his girlfriend, who tells
 him to loosen up, but he can't, too worried about his store.
 Homer has dozed off at the counter, and Ned quietly leaves money
 for his purchase on the counter.
   Homer, you are asleep at your post!  Now go change the expiration dates
   on the dairy products!
   -- Apu, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer falls asleep in the doorway, the automatic doors opening and closing
 on his head.  He drives home and nods off at the wheel.  When we return
 to reality, we see that the car has driven through a fence, and it
 careens into the Simpsons garage (taking out the mailbox and the storage
 shelf in the garage).  A falling circular saw clonks Homer on the head,
 though it doesn't seem to rouse him from his slumber.  Homer sleepwalks
 into bed, where the alarm goes off nary a second later.
   Marge: Homer, how long do you plan to do this?
   Homer: I don't know.  How long do horses live?
   Marge: Thirty years.
   Homer: D'oh!
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
 At work, Homer mutters, ``Mustn't sleep... Must monitor core.''  But he
 falls asleep anyway, his sneakers covering the monitors.  He is woken
 up by a phone call from Lisa.  ``I just called to say I love you, Dad.''
 Grumbles Homer, ``Ugh, when is she going to <stop> loving me?''  He goes
 back to sleep.
   Johnny Carson:  I just heard Milli Vanilli was arrested for impersonating
                   a McNugget.
   Ed McMahon:     Ho ho ho ho!
   Bart:           Well, it's still fun to be up late.
   -- Watching TV, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer leaves for an ``eight hour walk''.  He falls asleep on the car horn.
 Marge tries to wake him.  (``Homer sleep now.'')  The air bag inflates,
 becoming a pillow.  Marge explains that Homer had to take a second job,
 at the Kwik-E-Mart.  (Bart gets a kick out of this.)  Marge tells Lisa
 that she has to make the decision herself to give up the pony.
   All the years I've lobbied to be treated like an adult have blown up in
   my face.
   -- Lisa has to decide the fate of ``Lisa's Pony''
 At the Kwik-E-Mart, Bart orders Homer around, while Lisa watches through
 the glass window and sadly comes to her decision.  She tells the stable
 owner to take care of Princess for her and bids the pony an emotional
 farewell.  Meanwhile, Homer's quality of work has dropped yet again.
   Oh, the young man you replaced is rolling over in his grave.
   -- Apu, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Lisa tells Homer he doesn't have to work nights any more.
   Lisa:  I gave up the pony.
   Homer: You did?
   Lisa:  Mm hm.  There's a big, dumb animal I love even more than that horse.
   Homer: Oh no!  What is it, a hippopotamus?
   -- ``Lisa's Pony''
   Apu, you can take this job and restaff it!
   -- Homer quits his job at the Kwik-E-Mart, ``Lisa's Pony''
 Homer carries Lisa out on his shoulders.  (``Giddyap, Dad!'')
   He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers.  Still, there goes the
   best damned employee a convenience store ever had.
   -- Apu on Homer, ``Lisa's Pony''
 [End of Act Three.  Time:  20:30]
   Episode summaries Copyright 1991-1992 by Raymond Chen.  Not to be redistributed
   in a public forum without permission.  (The quotes themselves, of course,
   remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain
   the property of the original authors.  I'm just taking credit for the

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