The Ned Flandiddly-anders File

Created by Jordan Eisenberg
Maintain-a-roonied by Wesley Mead

"I'm a big, four-eyed lame-o and I wear the same stupid sweater every day!"
-- "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily (3F01)"

Ned Flanders is the Simpsons' sometimes-sickeningly cheerful next-door nieghbor. His wife, Maude Flanders, and his two sons, Rod and Todd Flanders, are the perfect "Good Christian" family, but Ned is hated by Homer Simpson out of jealousy, and by Reverend Lovejoy, because of Ned's non-stop requests for guidance. He is known to distort every-day words by adding "diddily" to the end or middle of the word, and although his age was revealed in AABF06 to be 60, it is generally accepted that he's in his mid-30s or 40s. Ned made his first appearance in 7G08 and his voice is provided by Harry Shearer.

Episodes Based Around Ned
7F08Dead Putting Society
7F23When Flanders Failed
1F14Homer Loves Flanders
1F18Sweet Seymour Skinner's Badasssss Song
1F22Bart of Darkness
3F01Home Sweet Home-Diddly-Dum-Doodily
4F07Hurricane Neddy
4F18In Marge We Trust
5F07Realty Bites
AABF06Viva Ned Flanders
BABF01I Know What You Did-Iddily-Did!
BABF10Alone Again, Natura-Diddly
CABF15I'm Goin' To Praiseland

7F08Went to a fraternity
Has a sister in capitol city
8F18Went to an all-male school
9F08Had the elderly "Grandma Flanders" living in his house
9F13Graduated from Oral Roberts University {rs}
3F20Lived in Springfield for some 30-odd years
AABF0660 years old
AABF15Applied for Arizona State?

9F09Ziggy comics
Little baby ducks
"Sweatin' to the Oldies" Volumes I, II and IV
4F07Scratching mosquito bites
Listening to flourescent lights
5F14The smell of typewrite ink
AABF02"The Grateful Dead" (presumably)
AABF06Plain white bread with a glass of water on the side for dippin'
Troubled troubadour David Crosby
Bob Sagat

4F07The post office
His parents
AABF05"Othello" with Peter Marshall
AABF08Dune buggies

SC19Jebediah Springfield merchandise vendor
Working at the Leftorium
1F01Throws dinner parties
1F04Prince of Darkness
1F06Scoutmaster for the Junior Campers
1F07Answers calls for the "Marital Stress Hotline"
1F14Bible group
Does charity work on Wednesdays
Boating (boat also seen in 3F19)
1F18Principal of Springfield Elementary
2F03Unquestioned lord and master of the world
2F19Head of the PTA
3F01Runs a foster home
3F09Represents the Neighborhood Association
3F22Owns a beach house in Little Pwagmattasquarmesettport
3F10Bowls for the "Holy Rollers"
4F05Owns a season pass to the Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill
4F06Part of the Citizens' Committee on Moral Hygiene
5F11Runs Flancrest Enterprises
BABF01Goes on "midnight fog runs"

Ned's "Three Cs"(AABF06) Clean living, chewing thoroughly, and a daily dose of vitamin "church!"

A Look at Ned's Dark Side
7F08Involved in a petty gamble with Homer
7F13Yells at a swindling cable man
9F01Involved in a car chase with Homer
9F17Give the pagan Simpson family an April Fools joke
9F20Watched "Married With Children" once
Has a spyhole in the bathroom, ala "Psycho"
9F22Bart suspects Ned is out to get him
1F04He is, in fact, the devil
1F14Harbors anger towards Homer; dreams of killing him
1F22Possibly a murderer
2F03Rules the world, and drives its inhabitants to slavery
3F20Nearly kills himself with needless panic
4F07Explodes in front of his friends and neighbors
4F13Hires Lisa as his babysitter, despite her nasty resume
5F02Participates in a witch hunt
5F07Stealing from the Simpsons (even if it was his own barbeque grill!)
AABF02Hallucinates at the wheel
AABF06Doesn't trim his mustache
Tries sitting down backwards
Gets his first taste of bloodlust
Goes on an all-night bender
AABF11Grabs a chunk of Moe's hair
AABF15Shows signs of resentment for Homer making it into heaven
AABF20Won a new refrigerator, electric can-opener and milkshake machine because they were evidence in a murder trial
BABF01Becomes a killer Werewolf -- later succombs to the evil 'Beetleboots' craze
BABF03Crosses paths with a mad scientist in the couch gag
BABF05Joins a motorcycle gang called the "Hell's Satans"
BABF06Ned laughs along with the crowd when Bart says church can be fun!
BABF10Considers abandoning his faith after Maude's death
CABF15He becomes creepily obsessed with turning Rachel Jordan into Maude


Ned and Religion
7F08Quotes Mattew 19:19 ("love thy neighbor")
7F20Maude underlines passages in Ned's bible because she can't find hers
7F23Used to turn to the Good Book for help, until he sold it to Homer
8F16Punishes Todd with no bible stories
Todd used to watch "Davey and Goliath," but he thought the idea of a talking dog was blasphemous
8F23It's Tithe Day at the Flanders and they got themselves a transient (Herb)
9F01Flanders is a regular Charlie Church
9F08His kids play "Good Samaritan"
9F17The Flanders Flock give the Pagan Simpsons ram's blood for their godless ceremony
9F20Rod thinks Todd's speaking in tongues (cut in syndication)
9F21Sells bible trading cards at the Springfield Swap Meet
Amazed at an oil stain that looks like St. Barnabus
9F22Tells Bart to "say his prayers"
Shown reading a bible
1F06Uses names from the bible as his own "eeny-meeny-meiny-moe"
1F14Ned participated in a bible group Rod and Todd watch biblical stories enacted by sheep Quoth Todd: "Lies make Baby Jesus cry."
1F17Thinks Lisa's saxophone playing is Gabriel's trumpet (cut in syndication)
1F18Superintendant Chalmers calls him "God Boy"
2F12Carries a bible and an extra large piece of the true cross at all times
2F15"Zounds" is a renaissance English word short for "God's wounds"
2F31Makes a movie about baby Moses, and seeks God's help to save his son
3F01He won't judge Homer and Marge: says that's for a vengeful God to do
Plays "bible bombardment" with his family
3F10Ned's bowling team is called the 'Holy Rollers'
Ned uses God to cheat, and get even with Homer
3G03"They're not perfect, but the Lord says 'Love thy Neighbor.'"
4F05"Well, if God didn't make little green apples..."
4F06Hesitant about "Red-hots" because of the cartoon devil on the box
4F07Has a manger scene in his yard
Compares himself to Jobe
Obeys the bible to an extremely unhealthy degree
4F13His family is held hostage in the holy land
4F23Marge describes him as the "religious guy"
5F02'Nedwin' helps do the Lord's work by killing witches
Later, the family is dressed in shepards' costumes
5F05First one to recognize the bones as an angel
Purchases angel glow-sticks to get into heaven
5F07Elaborate Christmas celebrations
5F09Praying for Mr. Bunny
5F11Sells religious hook rugs over the internet
5F16Worried about playing sports on a Sunday
5F21In Homer's vision of the future, Ned is the pope
AABF06Ned says gambling is strictly forbidden in Deutoronomy 7
AABF12Gives Homer a good Christian buryial, but not so deep the Lord can't find him ... and judge him
AABF14Portrayed as God in Homer's dream
His family ascends into heaven during the rapture
AABF15Ned compares Homer's artistic venture to Noah's Ark
AABF18Regarding the newspaper's Opinions page, Ned doesn't need to be told what to think ... by anyone living.
AABF20His family donates to 6 different churches just to hedge their bets
Has a 'Jesus Fish' refrigerator magnet
AABF22Ned tells the kids to go get his 'exorcism tongs,' since Homer might have a demon
BABF05Hesitant to join the "Hell's Satans"
BABF04Maude mentions "Ben Hur" to him
BABF14Ned tries to explain to Homer that they both worship the same God
BABF17Ned cautions his boys when their sandcastle begins to look "a little Roman-esque"; Rod volunteers to punish himself
BABF22Ned hastily denies and destroys Homer's evidence that God does not exist
CABF02Ned doesn't believe in innoculations
CABF03He refuses to support the "black arts" such as magic, fortune-telling and Oriental cooking
CABF14He tells his son that Harry Potter and his friends went to hell for practicing witchcraft

Ned and Church
9F16He doesn't have to go, because it's Saturday
9F22His new finger razors make hedge-trimming as much fun as sitting through church.
1F06"This ain't one of your church picnic flare-gun firings, Flanders!"
5F16At the church picnic
AABF06Homer refers to him as Churchy LaFemme
Ned gets his daily dose of Vitamin Church
AABF08Worried that he's not in church on a Sunday
BABF10Almost misses church -- Parishioner of the Month
BABF22Ned endorses a cartoon because it was approved by a council of Presbylutheran ministers
Homer intercepts him and the boys on the way to church
CABF06Ned doesn't have air-bags because "the church opposes them for some reason."

Ned is also seen in church in 9F01, 9F21, 1F14, 2F04, 4F13, 5F23, AABF06 and AABF14.
Church scenes that do not feature Ned are in 7G07, 4F18, AABF03, BABF05 and BABF06.

Ned Praying
7F08That no one gets hurt
9F20"God bless you."
1F04"Dear Lord!"
1F07Rod prayed for giant shoes (cut in syndication)
1F14"...graced God's green Earth."
Before eating dinner
Ned prays for the strength to endure Homer's friendship
2F21"Oh, my Lord!"
3F04"Help me, Lord!"
4F18"...thank the Lord..."
5F07Gives the Simpsons part of his Christmas tree
5F09At Mr. Bunny's funeral
5F14"...God bless 'em."
AABF05Prays that the Springfield Dinner Theater's production of "Guys and Dolls" is better than "Othello" with Peter Marshall
AABF06"My God, Homer..."
Asks wheather or not gambling is a good idea
AABF14As the family ascends into heaven
AABF15"God ... bless 'im." (we're made to believe he's going to say "Goddamn it.")
BABF10He questions God's decision to take Maude in a prayer

Ned Being a Good Samaritan
7G09Congratulates Homer on his new RV
7F13Outraged at the prospect of illegally hooked up cable
7F23Validates parking tickets for free
8F02Wishes away the aliens that plague their planet
8F06Ned pays for his Kwik-E-Mart purchases even though Homer is asleep at the post
8F17Hypes recycling door-to-door
9F01Saves Homer from the fire
9F07Offers for Homer to plow his driveway a second time out of pity
9F09Donates a kidney and a lung at random
1F04Adopts the gremlin
2F19Suggests that Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner agree to disagree
2F21Accepts Marge's criticism of his Halloween decorations
2F22Lets the careless townspeople use his R.V.
3F01Running a foster home
3F06He and the neighbors console Marge over Homer's death
3F09Lets Homer take over his job hyping wares
3F10He's never been caught driving without pants
3F13Lends Homer his family heirlooms just so his job can be stolen (again)
3F18Gives Marge advice on getting gum out of hair
3F22Lends Homer his beach house
4F07Offers Homer a spot in the Flanders bunker during the hurricane
5F05Suggests placing the sacred angel bones back into the ground
5F06He feels guilty bringing Marge the realtor all the way out to town without buying a house
5F23Offers a beer to his guests (even though it's mostly head)
AABF10Waves Marge into his lane
AABF16Helps clean up the town
AABF17Plans to put his newly acquired money right into the ol' poor-box
AABF20Donates to 6 different churches
AABF22Volunteers at a childrens' fire-prevention play
BABF03Congratulates Apu on his eight little bundles of joy, repeatedly
BABF04Tries to help the leprous Bart and Homer; pays for their trip to Hawaii
CABF15Raises money for the orphanage
CABF16"Daddy says it's rude to call grown-ups by their first name."

Ned Being a Square
7F09Picketing against "Itchy & Scratchy": 'Save the Cartoon Animals'
7F11Doormat: 'Welcome to Flanders Country'
8F16Short-changes his customer, and spends the whole day tracking him down
8F18"Isn't that cute, and me without a camera!"
Unable to overpower Marge
9F02Delighted to win a shoe buffer
9F20Carries a name tag around to avoid confusion (particularly with 'Ed Flanders')
9F22Remarks "Now, isn't that nice?" when Sideshow Bob announces he won't kill him
1F06Lets Bart play with a rubber knife after he attains the rank of "pussywillow"
1F09Has a shroud of turin beach towels (it was stolen)
1F14Asks for the cash value of a prize set of football tickets to report on his income tax
Has a 230-channel satellite dish, with every channel locked out
Prays for "the middle men who jacked up the price"
Leaves a picnic early because his son has Zesty Italian in his eye
1F18Runs Springfield Elementary like a clubhouse
2F16Cheerfully comments on Homer's profanity
2F21Interprets "eat my shorts" as "eat my shirts"
3F01"Nachos, Flanders-style" is actually sliced cucumbers with cottage cheese
Lies to his kids, saying Scratchy's blood is just Raspberry Jam
The family likes to eat unflavored, nonfat ice milk
Sends his kids to bed when the sun is still out
4F07With nothing to do, the Flanders give themselves an audit
Ned considers insurance a form of gambling
He likes mosquito bites and flourescent lights
4F13Thinks dice are wicked
4F18Calls Reverend Lovejoy about various inane worries
Worried about teenagers slacking in front of his store
4F24Covers his kids' eyes as they try to read the "offensive baseball cap"
5F02Afraid to perform wanton acts of carnality with his wife
5F14Pays his taxes at 9:00 AM, January 1st
5F18Miniature golfing, his advice to his wife at the windmill obstacle is to "not hit the blades"
5F23Offers his guests Rice Krispy Squares
AABF06Almost gives Homer his power of attorney
AABF23He and Maude should have brought the camera to see Edward Christian; the edited movie ending makes him sick!
BABF01Wears Beetleboots
BABF05Afraid when his gang starts tossing pennies in the gutter
BABF04Skis in a mamimum-mobility, skin-tight thermal suit
BABF09Seen in the "Wuss Bets" line at the Springfield Downs
BABF10Visits an auto-racing strip to see the exciting safety gear: helmets, roll bars, caution flags, etc.
WIth Maude gone, he plays Scrabble against himself
CABF05About Jack's Puma Pride mural, Ned says "That's sugary even for my tastes!"
CABF16Ned confuses "Chris Rock in Concert" with a Christian Rock concert


Bonding With His Kids
7G08Christmas shopping with Rod
7F06Cries during Todd's violin solo
7F08Helps Todd with his science project; later, they play miniature golf
7F10Taking Todd in for a booster shot
7F23Informs Rod that he's 'head of the car'
8F07Considers when a boy should start dating
8F16Ned's concerned about his boys learning bad language
8F23Todd wants to annoint the sores on Herb's feet, but it's Maude's turn
9F08Welcoming Homer to the neighborhood
9F16The kids refuse to go to church becuase it's Saturday
1F05Ned speaks to his inner child
1F06Ned is scoutmaster for his kids' Junior Campers club
1F14The kids call Ned's friend 'Uncle Homer'
Ned takes the boys waterskiing
They aren't allowed to eat suger
Ned plays basketball with them
1F22Tells his kids they'll be with God soon enough...
2F11Asks Todd to shoot him if he goes crazy
2F22Tries to find Todd, who's lost in Shelbyville
3F01He used to let the kids watch "My Three Sons," but it got them all worked up before bedtime
3F02Ned takes Rod out to Uncle Moe's for his birthday, where Rod learns some bad language
3F04Attends a PTA meeting for his kids' school
3F09Tells his kids not to scare the president
3F20The kids cheer him on as he runs from the bear
3G02Todd casts the first stone at Homer
3F04According to Bart, Flanders got his kids torpedoes
4F06Permissively lets Todd buy a pack of red-hots
4F07Ned encourages his childrens' choice of shirts
4F09Concerned about his children's exposure to sex at school
4F13Won't let his kids use "wicked" dice; hires Lisa to babysit for them
4F24They view the Offensive Baseball Cap together
5F02Convinces the witches not to eat his kids
5F03He coaches them in Pee-wee football (later, Homer replaces Ned and cuts them both from the team)
5F09Ned yells at Todd to get off of diaper hill
Ned helps bury their pet, Mr. Bunny
5F10Rod and Todd consider getting Ned's help for the drunken clown in their yard
5F19They bury Ned in the sand
AABF06Rod has to call Dr. Stein
AABF12Going out for Rod's birthday; burying Homer makes it the best birthday ever
BABF04He excites them with news of Imagination Christmas
BABF17They build sandcastles on the beach
CABF03Bart entertains Ned and his kids at the Springfield Squidport
BABF22He watches "Gravey and Jobriath" with his kids at an animation festival
They head for church together
CABF10He takes them to Krusty's final taping
CABF14He reads Todd a slightly modified version of Harry Potter
CABF15The kids convince him to build Maude's amusement park

Kids Seen Alone
8F11Bart plays a prank on them
9F08Playing "Good Samaritan" with Bart
1F05Using Homer's trampoline
5F10Poking Krusty with a stick
AABF07"Why can't you be like we are?"
BABF05They watch Lisa being bathed in the yard
BABF10Bart cheers them up after their mother's death
BABF20Bart borrows Rod's pet woodpecker to feed it to the badger
CABF14Rod is playing with his train set when Homer steps on it, to protect his detached thumb
CABF16Homer babysits for them

Bonding With His Family
7F11Pulling taffee
1F14Eating dinner; later, going on a picnic with the Simpsons
2F31Filming a movie
3F01Drinking nonfat ice milk
Playing Bible Bombardment
3F07Family photos hanging at the Try-N-Save
3F19Spending the night in their boat; later, they camp out in the dingy
4F05Attending the Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill
5F05Wants his family to share a prayer with the blessed angel; later, buys four angel glow-sticks
5F07Celebrating Christmas
5F18Playing miniature golf
AABF05Attending "Guys and Dolls" at the Springfield Dinner Theater
AABF14The whole family ascends into heaven during the rapture
AABF20Planning a mega-savings vacation to Japan
BABF10They visit the auto-racing park for a day of fresh air, safety gear, and non-foot-long hot dogs

Bonding With His Wife
7F20Attending a marraige counseling retreat
9F13Serenading her on Valentine's Day
1F07Trying to get Homer's pants out of their tree
1F22Suspected of killing her
3F06Consoling Marge over Homer's alleged death
3F10Part of the Holy Rollers bowling team
4F01He fights with her over leaving the phone plugged in
4F04Playing Pictionary
5F02The witches might force the Flanders to perform wanton acts of carnality
5F11Homer: "Maude, eh?"
AABF06He reminds her of Silly Billy Ned Flanders
AABF11Ned considers writing a sonet for his wife
AABF15Ned and Maude look out on the canals of Springfield
AABF21They eat at The Frying Dutchman together; later, they walk down the street enourmously overweight
AABF23They attend Mel Gibson's new movie screening together
BABF04Ned is angry that Maude saw "Ben Hur" without him
BABF10They visit the auto-races together

R.I.P. Maude
BABF10Ned sorrows over her death
BABF16Homer's sex test opens Ned wounds
BABF17Homer gossips with God about Maude Flanders "playing the field" in heaven
CABF02Todd thinks he sees her in a hallucination (caused by a lack of innoculations)
CABF03Homer asks Ned to see "the lady of the house"
CABF15Ned builds an amusement park in her honor


Ned Vs. Reverend Lovejoy
7F08Ned calls the Reverend in the middle of the night
8F16Calls the Reverend, ruining his dessert
9F21Lovejoy sends Ned outside looking for an oil stain resembling St. Barnabus
1F08Ned asks the Reverend his opinion on legalized gambling
1F14Sermon entitled: "What Ned Did"
3F01Encourages Ned to find a new major religion
3F06Ned and the Reverend console Marge about Homer's alleged death
3F10They share a bowling team
3F18Lovejoy walks his dog on Ned's lawn
4F07The Reverend avoids Ned's questioning
4F23Skinner confuses the two
5F02"Nedwin" and the Reverend incinerate some witches
5F05Lovejoy shows no enthusiasm for Ned's suggestions
5F16"Oh, just play the damn game, Ned!"
5F23Ned gives Lovejoy his collar back
AABF14Encourages Lovejoy to turn off the church's fans

Ned Vs. Homer
7G08Ned outshines Homer's Christmas decorations
They run into each other at the Circus of Values
7G09Homer buys a new RV to try to outdo the Flanderseses
7F05Homer rejects Ned's goodbyes
7F08Basically the whole episode
7F11Promises to visit a Flanders barbeque when he plans do be dead
7F14Ned convinces Homer to buy a pair of Assassin sneakers
7F23Again, the whole episode
8F02Gives Ned an evil Monkey's Paw, which turns out to bring him good luck
8F16Homer curses in front of Ned's kids
9F01Homer tries to avoid Ned's singing
He blames Marge for always taking Ned's side
He contemplates what he would do if Ned were trapped in a fire
9F02Ned wins a shoe buffer instead of Homer
9F04Homer kills the Zombie Flanders
9F05Shooes ol' Slanty Neddy away
9F07Homer takes his money, but doesn't plow his driveway
9F08Homer implies to Ned that he isn't a friend
"Shut up, Flanders"
Ned returns Homer's second born
9F09"Shut up, Flanders."
9F16Homer doesn't love Ned Flanders, but he doesn't count
9F17The family, as pagans, burn the Flanders family at the steak
9F22Invites Ned into the kitchen with violent intentions
1F01Homer tells Flanders he smells like manure
1F03Homer calls Ned and hangs up
1F06Whole episode: again
1F07Ned offers to conference Homer with Marge on the marital distress hotline
1F09"Can't talk. Robbed. Go hell."
1F10Homer's learned "that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just with Flanders was dead."
1F14Can you say "the whole episode?"
1F22Insists that Ned is a murderer
2F12Homer almost gets Ned killed when shots are fired in their direction
2F21Plays with Ned's mind by wrapping police tape around his front yard
2F22Homer wrecks Ned's R.V.
3F01Homer thinks like Flanders in a less-than-flattering way; later, he yells "shut your ugly face!"
3F03Homer plans not to invite Ned to his barbeque out of spite
3F04Sends Lard Lad to smash open Ned's house
3F05Homer enjoys seeing Flanders coming home dishevelled from the rat race
Unhappily calls for Flanders' help
3F06Ned consoles Marge about Homer's death
3F07Sees Ned's as TIME magazine's "man of the century"; remarks that it must've been a pretty slow century
3F09Homer steals Ned's spotlight at the Evergreen Terrace Yard Sale
3F10Bowling against each other
Ned convinces God to zap Homer in the butt
3F13Homer steals Ned's job as Town Cryer
3F22Homer argues with Ned about lending the family his beach house
3F24Critiques Ned's supposed five-alarm chili
3G03Homer dumps his old couch in Ned's lawn; later, he sings "Shut up Flanders!"
3G04Homer promises Bart a weapon of unimaginable destruction after hearing that Ned got his kids torpedoes
4F01Homer's autodialer keeps him and his wife up; Homer yells at them later on
4F05Runs into Ned at the cider mill, to his own dismay
4F07Homer would make it his business to be a third wheel in the Flanders house
Homer doesn't remember Ned's name
Homer mocks Ned during their therapy session
4F12Ned tries to cheer him up by saying "that's the best episode of Impy & Jimpy I've ever seen."
4F13Avoids helping Ned's babysitting difficlties
4F16Lisa says that Homer and Marge went on a walk with the Flanderseses
5F01Ned rides by on his lawnmower as Homer is anxious to get his gun
5F02Homer accuses 'Goodie Flanders' of being a witch
5F03Homer heckles Coach Flanders at the Pee-Wee Football games
5F06Homer rejects Ned's goodbyes again
5F07Homer calls him Ed
5F09Homer dumps garbage on Ned's head
5F11Calls Ned a liar
5F16Homer plays capture the flag against Ned's team
5F19Homey Bear mauls Ranger Ned
Homer nearly drives over Ned at the beach
5F21Homer envisions Ned giving a eulogy at his funeral
AABF02Homer calls Ned a square
"I buried Flanders!"
AABF06Homer tries to finger Ned in church for lying about his age
The two squabble in Las Vegas
AABF08Homer blames Flanders when they're lost at the Super Bowl
AABF14Ned, as God, banishes Homer from the Garden of Eden
AABF14Ned's family ascends into heaven, while the Simpson clan is sent to hell
AABF15Homer throws his beer cans at Ned
Ned is baffled that Homer made it into heaven
AABF19Homer hangs up in the middle of a heartfelt moment
AABF21Homer repeatedly writes "Screw Flanders" in his restaurant reviews
BABF04Homer is disturbed by Ned's tight-fitting ski outfit {tb}
BABF05Drives his motorcycle through Ned's fence (Ned is later seen fixing it)
BABF10Homer tries his pathetic best to help Ned resuscitate from Maude's death
Homer has a giant rock with Ned's name on it
Homer spontaneously maces Ned through his kitchen window
BABF11The whole town thinks Homer is a real humanitarian, and Ned Flanders is green with envy
BABF14Homer gloats about his new Hawaiian idol to Ned
BABF16Homer forgets about Maude's death, and because of Ned's crying, rates him a "Frigid Freida" on a sex test
Ned mentions that Homer fell into Maude's grave at her funeral -- he responds "Oh, I saw a gopher. What a day!"
BABF17Homer gossips with God about Maude Flanders "playing the field" in heaven
BABF21Homer gloats to Flanders from heaven, because he got there first
CABF02Homer instructs his computer to kill Flanders
CABF03Homer and Bart try to swindle Ned
CABF06When Ned tells Homer he thinks they hit something with the car, Homer yells "I hope it's Flanders!"
CABF08Homer allegedly released a radioactive ape into Ned's house
CABF07Homer won't share his new tennis court with Ned
CABF14Homer barges into Ned's house chasing after his dog, and steps on Rod's train set
CABF15Ned's private life is repeatedly invaded by Homer
Homer hires a shredder to destroy Ned's Maude-memorabilia, and expects payment
CABF16Homer calls him "stupid Flanders"

Homer and Ned had been neighbors for eight years before Homer's first visit to the Flanders homestead. (7F08)

Homer "Borrowing" Things From Ned
7G09Homer gets his mail once in a while
Homer buys Ned's entire living room set and his glasses for $75
Homer buys Ned's bible for 7 cents
8F16Homer tells Ned he lost his camcorder
9F08TV tray
Ned's diploma from the Oral Roberts University
2F11Tries to take over his bomb shelter
2F22Hypes Flanders' R.V. as his own
3F18Ned goes to get his snow shovel back from Homer
3F19Grampa steals Ned's boat
3F22Ned's beach house
3F23TV tray, power-sander and upstairs bathtub mentioned
3G01The camcorder returns
Virtually all of Homer's camping equipment
Ned's weather vane
3G02Steals his air conditioner
4F06Homer has to be up at 6:00 AM to swipe Flanders' newspaper
5F07Ned steals back his own barbeque
5F11Homer gets more of Ned's mail
5F19The muffler from Ned's car
AABF07Homer eats the Flanders' garbage
AABF15Homer steals Ned's "Casa de Flanders" welcome mat along with everyone else's
AABF20While theiving Ned's house at night, Homer swipes a candelabra, decorative plate, mini-figurine, silverware, seminar tickets, a refrigerator magnet, and helps himself to a sandwich
Homer also horns in on Ned's mega-savings plane tickets
BABF06Homer picks all of Ned's flowers for his college float (and salts the earth so nothing will ever grow again)
BABF10Ned spots his sprinkler in Homer's yard
CABF06Homer ruins Ned's car and roof for a makeshift snowplow


Saying "Hello" the Ned Flanders Way
8F02"Hey, fellow slave."
8F07"Heh-hey-ho, Simpson."
8F18"Howdy-doo, neighbor."
9F08"Buenos dias, neighborinos."
9F17"Hi-ho, Pagans."
9F22"Heidily-hey!" (followed quickly by "toodily-doo")
1F04"Heidily-ho, Bart."
1F06"Howdily-hey, Camper Bart."
1F09"Heidily-ho, neighborinos."
"Welcome, neighbors."
1F11"Heidily-ho." (part of a montage of catchphrases)
1F14"Heidily-ho, neighbor."
"Heidily-ho, Stanster."
"Heydily-ho, window buddy."
1F18"Well, tippety-top of the A.M. to every-good-body here."
"Cockily-doodily-doo, good buddies."
2F03"Heidily-ho, slaverinos."
2F11"Howdily-doodily, neighbors."
2F12"Wat'cha diddily-doin,' neighbor?"
2F22"Well, a friendly Springfield "Hello" there, neighbors."
3F03"Heydily-ho, neighborino!" (said by the whole Flanders extended family)
3F18"Well, howdy, Reverend Lovejoy."
3F19"Howdily-doodily, stranger."
5F19"Hello there, Hodiddily-omey."
AABF06"Howdy, Homer."
AABF14"Hididdily-ho, paradise dwellers."
AABF17"Well, hi-diddily-[not heard]!"
BABF04"Hi-diddily-ho, schuss-in-boots."
BABF10"Hi-diddily-ho, pedal-to-the-metal-o-philes."
CABF16"He-hey, Homer."

Giving Confirmation the Ned Flanders Way
7G09"Yes, indeedily-doodily."
"Right as rain. Or, as we say around here, left as rain."
"Roger Dodger."
1F14"Sure diddily-do."
"That sounds super duper."
2F31"Okily-dokily." (said by God)
3F03"Okily-dokily." (also said by the whole Flanders extended family)
3F23"Okily-dokily." (encouraged by Homer)
AABF19"Yes, indeedy."
BABF10"Abso-not-ly, Hot-Roddy." (Close enough ... )
CABF07"Will do."

Speaking in "Pure Flanders"
7G09"Check out mah' new wheels!"
"She's a beut."
7F11"Nosiree, Bob."
"She's cryin' out to cook up some good eatin.'"
7F14"He's a wet ol' baby boy!"
7F23"You silly goose!"
"You are a picture and a half."
"Come on over and strap on the feed bag. We're going to fire up ol' Propane Elaine and put the heat to the meat! Nummy-nummy-num!" (Homer responds: "I'll be there! Notty-notty-not.")
"Fe-fi-fo-fum, I smell the potatoes au graten of Marge Simpson!"
"Fellows, I have a sinister motive for inviting you all to dinner, 'sinister' being latin for 'left-handed.'"
"Gosh-darn it."
"She's a beutane beut."
"Homer, affordable tract housing made us neighbors, but you made us friends."
8F16"Bone to pick" with Homer: "All of us pull a few `boners' now and then, go off `half-cocked', make `asses' of ourselves. I don't want to be `hard on' you ... give the sailor talk the old 'heave-ho'"
8F18"Hot diggity!"
"Let's not and say we did."
9F05"Thought I'd fire up the brier."
9F09"Well, if that don't put the 'dink' in 'coinkidink!'"
1F01"Thanks for the nose news, neighbor."
1F06"That's a 'Neddy No-No.'"
"Well, Homer, looks like we're boat-buddies, huh? Want me to zinc your sniffer?"
"Now I know why they call 'em rapids and not slow-pids, eh?"
"Whoa, Nellie!"
"Godspeed, little doodle."
1F07"That's a dilly of a pickle."
1F14"Golly, if that doesn't put the 'shaz' in 'shazaam!'"
"Well, get out the Crayolas and color me "Tickled Pink". Ooh, what's with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a flogging?"
"...give the new pool table a whirl."
1F18"I think I can put the 'pal' back in 'principal.'"
"I thought it might break the ice if we had a little Q & A!"
"I want to put the 'stew' back in 'students.'"
1F20"What's the brew-ha-ha-ha?"
1F22"What the gumdrops is going on?"
2F03Process called "Re-neducation"
2F18"We sure could use a pooch to guard the flock at the Flanderosa."
2F19"Ho, ho, this is a dilly of a pickle."
3F01"No siree-bob."
3F03Various square dancing instructions
"Congratulations, Homer. Your 'Q is a huge success. Hey, a toast to the host who can boast the most roast!"
3F04"Well, as the tree said to the lumberjack, I'm stumped."
3F13"I dub myself pickled tink!"
3F18"Works for me when I get bubbly-gum in the old push-broom."
3F22"I'm in a rhubarb of a pickle of a jam."
"It's a corker of a case."
"Hello, Mr. Brown Grown. What you got for me? (cut in syndication)
4F05"Well, if God didn't make little green apples..."
"Ho ho ho, suckin' down the cider, uh? ... Here's a little trick to help you remember. If it's clear and yella', you've got juice there, fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town. Now, there's two exceptions and it gets kinda tricky here ... can be yellow, if they're using late season apples. And, of course, in Canada, the whole thing's flip-flopped."
4F07"Hunker in our bunker"
"Happy as hens"
"Absitively notarino!"
4F13"I've got a fozzy of a bear of a problem."
4F18Says he's in "hot soup"
5F05" sounds you're strainin' to do some explainin.'"
"...this doomsday thing has me just a smidge tritterpated."
5F06"That's a dilly!"
5F23"...slim pickins'..."
AABF06"No, no and double no!"
"Gosh-darn it."
"This may sound just a teensy bit insane in the ol' membrane..."
"Oh my stars!"
"Watching you risk your life turned my beat box all the way up to ... rumba."
AABF08Not my cup of [tea]."
AABF12"Leapin' Lazarus!"
AABF14"I'd better skidaddle."
"One more weensy little thing..."
"What the dickens?"
"Doggone it, Eve, I think you better high-tail it outta this garden."
AABF15"What the flood?"
AABF21"Ooh, that looks scrum-diddily-doodily-duddily ... "
BABF01"Diddily" used on its own as an interjective, twice (once by Homer)
BABF04"Hi-diddily-ho, schuss-in-boots."
BABF10"I'm just a Q without a U."
CABF02"Catch you later, computator!"
CABF06"Better turn off that engine before those fumes put us in tombs."
CABF16Ned says he's "in a pickle"

Other Flander-isms
9F04"Halloweenies" "Scarediddily-dare"
9F07"Plow Kingily-ding"
1F06"You knowdilly-know it, Neddy." (said by Bart)
"Oh, we're done for. We're done for. We're done diddely done for. We're done diddely doodily, done diddely doodily, done diddely doodily, done diddely doodily -- [Homer slaps him]"
2F15"Zounds, I did thee mightily smitily!"
"Reverend...emergency! I -- it's the Simpson kids -- eedily -- I, uh, baptism -- oodily -- uh -- doodily doodily!"
3F22"Weldiddily-elcome" (yep, he actually wrote 'diddily')
3F24"What can I do-diddily-doodily-diddly-hobbily-hibbily-gobbily-gobbily-gobble-gabba-gabba-hey?"
"Son of a gundiddily-un"
"I just can't dang diddily do dang do damn diddily darn do it."
"Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be nice, hostidididildilidilly ah HELL diddily ding dong crap! Can't you morons do anything RIGHT!?"
"Pretty darn doodily-diddily...good"
"Well, I'll be darndiddily-arned."
4F12"Impy & Jimpy"
4F15"Guildiddily-ilty as chardiddily-arged"
5F06"Oh mydiddily-eye!"
"I've wasted my whole dang-diddily life."
"I okily-dokily-schmokily do!"
AABF09Diddily-ifference" (said with a different voice)
CABF14"Son of a diddly!"
"What the dilly-yo?!?"
CABF16He calls his kids "Rowdy Rod and Typhoon Todd"

In 3F13, Homer remarks to Flanders "you suckdiddily-uck!"

Ned's Book of Names
7F13Sneaky Pete
9F01Charlie Church
1F18God Boy
2F03Negative Nellie
3F01Gloomy Gus
Jeepers H. Crackers
5F09Fussy Freddy
5F32Daft Pansie
AABF06Churchy LaFemme
Steady Neddy
AABF08Panicky Pete
AABF14Bossy Betty

Names for his Mustache
8F16Soup Strainer
Cookie Duster

Ned's Barbeque Invitation The Flanders' are having a beef-a-thon.
Incredible Ned-ibles.
Maude-acious vittles.


Ned Flashbacks
SC22Apu supplied plenty of food when "the little Mrs. was expecting the stork"
8F23Participates in "Hands Across America"
9F20Has a 'run-in' with the law
9F21In church as the Be-Sharps sing
1F05Speaks to his inner child
1F08A three-headed Ned Flanders sits in the town hall as Marge protests the casino
1F18Spills ink on Papa Flanders' poems
4F07Has 'spanking therapy' as a child
4F18Pesters Reverend Lovejoy with endless phone calls

Ancient Ned
AABF06Ned's true age (60) is revealed
BABF08Stands up when Kent requests for everyone 60 or older
BABF10"Ned's 59th Birthday" tape casette

Ned Singing
7F23"Put on a Happy Face"
8F16"Bringing in the Sheeves" (kids only)
8F23"Onward, Christian Soldier"
9F01"The Flood Song" (does anyone know the actual title?)
9F08"We Welcome You to the Neighborhood"
"Joy, Joy, Joy"
9F13"Do You Think I'm Sexy?" (with reworked lyrics)
1F14"Bringing in the Sheeves" (whistled)
1F22"Mary Had a Little Lamb"
2F04Church hymn
2F11"Que Sera, Sera"
2F21"Bringing in the Sheeves"
3F01"We Got You, Babe" (with reworked lyrics)
"Amazing Grace"

Ned Doing Yard Work
Watering lawn
1F01Watering lawn
5F08In his yard (only his voice is heard)
BABF05Fixing the fence that Homer wrecked with his motorcycle (holds a hammer)
BABF10Trimming the hedges, then gardening
BABF14Trimming hedges again
CABF02Outside the Simpson kitchen as Homer sets up his new computer

Ned Fixing His Glasses
7F08As Homer mows his lawn
8F18Telling the tale of playing "Blanche" in high school
9F22Wearing his new finger razors
1F04Twice as the devil, before and after Homer signs his contract
1F09Declining the role of neighborhood watch leader
1F18In his new Principal's office
2F12As Homer puts speed holes in his car
2F19At the PTA meeting
2F21While Homer laughs at him (?)
3F05In Homer's dream sequence
4F07After his new house falls to the ground
4F13Talking to Homer
4F18Leaving Baboon County, USA
5F06Saying goodbye to Homer (twice)
5F14When he wakes up
5F21As the Pope, in Homer's dream
AABF06Waking up from his all-night bender
At the table near the waffle bar
AABF21Walking away from The Frech Confection
BABF05As the motorcycle gang argues over a club name
BABF06While discussing his recent gardening woes with Homer
BABF09Raking leaves
BABF16After crying over Maude's death
CABF15While asking Rachel Jordan out for coffee
CABF16While asking Homer to babysit the kids

Ned vs. Alcohol
7F08Has a beer tap in his basement (Beer tap also seen in 1F09, 1F14 and 5F23)
7F20Holds a P.H.D. in Mixology
8F08Seen in Moe's (also seen there in 1F14 and AABF11)
9F14At an AA meeting, where he tells the tale if his first and last blackberry schnapps
1F14'Evils of alcohol' rap
4F15He considers himself the 'Root Beer Baron'
AABF06Goes on a bender with Homer
BABF10Moe mentions Ned's insane fear of drinking
BABF04Keeps alcohol-free alcohol for his wounds

Ned's Geo Appears
7F23The family camps out in it
9F01Chasing Homer in it
1F04Before spotting a gremlin
1F14Driving to the Atoms game
Speeding away from Homer
3F01Driving Bart and Lisa to the Springfield River
3F20Ned drives it until he sees a bear
AABF06Drives it to a car wash; later he drives home from church in it
AABF10Driving home from the Springfield Elementary faculty talent show
BABF10Parking in his reserved spot outside church

The Leftorium Appears
7F23Ned first opens it
8F16Ned tells a story from work at dinner
4F07An angry mob unleashes its rage on it
4F18Jimbo, Dolph and Kerney slack outside it
AABF20Business has been going downhill ever since "Leftopolis" moved in next-door (not actually seen)

The Leftorium also appears in the background in 1F12, 2F11 and 5F10.
An Italian translation of this document can be found at


{rs} Rebecca Simcoe
{tb} Tim Blahout

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Last updiddily-dated on August 23, 2001 by Wesley Mead (