[4F01] Lisa's Date With Density

Lisa's Date With Density                                Written by Mike Scully
                                                     Directed by Susie Dietter
Production code: 4F01                      Original Airdate in U.S.: 15-Dec-96
Capsule revision B,  6-Jul-97            Original Airdate in Canada: 14-Dec-96

"TV Guide" Synopsis {jmb}

Strangely, Lisa develops a crush on bad boy Nelson Muntz, and then she tries to change him. Meanwhile, Homer uses an automatic telephone dialer to solicit money over the phone.

Title sequence

Couch :- The room is upside-down. OFF run in on the ceiling and sit down on the couch, until they fall to the "real" ground.

Did you notice...

... one of the items Nelson has stolen is a lobster trap? ... when Homer finds the dialer, the number on it is changing from 553-4891 to 553-4892? ... Mr. Burns' phone number is 555-0001, Prof. Frink's lab 555-5782, and the Flanders 555-8904? ... Mr. Burns' feet don't touch the floor when he's in his chair? ... Burns has a skull in his book collection? ... Nelson has a phone in his room? Dale G. Abersold: ... this episode had Mr. Largo's first major role since "Who Shot Mr. Burns - Part One" [2F16]? ... nobody except Lisa appears to hear Milhouse in the cafeteria, despite the fact that he seems to be yelling? ... the regular closing theme music returns for the first time since [3F20] (even though we still didn't hear the whole thing)? Matthew Anscher: ... Bart has nothing in his locker? Benjamin Ball: ... the dressed up Nelson looks like Bill Gates? ... the "Happy Dude" envelope has no zip code? Stephan Bonneville: ... Nelson has a different and clearer voice when he's talking to Lisa in the detention room? ... the lockers Willie is prying open don't appear to be locked? ... Mr. Burns is not in his usual office? ... Nelson didn't get in trouble for pummelling Milhouse? Joshua Fruhlinger: ... with his new geeky clothes and hairstyle, Nelson looked suspiciously like the Bob's Big Boy mascot? ... Grandpa apparently doesn't recognize his own son's voice or address? Don Del Grande: ... Maggie does not appear in this episode (except in the opening)? ... Mr. Largo has his job back (after losing it in 2F16)? ... Dolph's locker has textbooks, Kearny's a rocket of some sort, and Jimbo's a mace and chain as well as another of his hats? ... a box just like the one Grampa Simpson kept his gun in is in Nelson's locker? ... when Lisa writes her blackboard punishment, she ends each sentence with a period? ... Burns is a phone cord twiddler? ... Mrs. Skinner's scream sounds like Nelson's laugh? Dave Hall: ... Skinner has a lunch box? ... Lou has Popeye arms? ... Chief Wiggum wears his badge on the correct side of his chest? ... telemarking scams can get you 20 years in the slammer? ... Skinner can tell at a glance how many eggs are thrown at him? ... Dolph actually has school books in his locker? ... Jimbo's other knit cap is green? ... Skinner even has Lisa's locker busted open? ... Ralph is sitting with a girl at the school cafeteria? ... Lisa is right-handed? ... the one eye dot on Milhouse's glasses even though he's "unconscious" when the paramedics wheel him away? ... Bart wanted toe-nail clippers? ... Nelson is beginning to look a lot like Barney? ... Springfield is situated in a valley? ... Ned's mother is still alive? ... Skinner's folded U.S. flag on his bedroom dresser? ... Skinner's neatly placed slippers at the foot of his bed? ... Skinner sleeps in a single bed? ... Jimbo, Kearney, Dolph and Nelson are all right-handed? ... Skinner and Lisa both called the bullies "Crumb Bums"? ... Chief Wiggum pumped three bullets into the autodialer? ... Skinner still wears his pyjamas when he cleans the coleslaw off his house? ... Nelson and Lisa each were looking through a telescope eye piece at once? ... the heavy use of name calling and expletives in this episode? Jason Hancock: ... the poster for the November 16th fall concert? ... Nelson doesn't hear Milhouse yelling about him? ... the bent dumbbells and open pizza box on Nelson's floor? Eric Hartman: ... the bullies get their pants up-and-down very quick? ... Lisa's Locker is surronded by 4th Graders? Tony Hill: ... Homer wears glasses when he goes into "business mode"? ... Nelson and Lisa kissing with their eyes open? Andrew Krupowicz: ... Ned's mom no longer lives in the house (cf. 9F08)? Ondre Lombard: ... this is the only episode in which the family's voice is heard in a couch scene? ... Chalmers doesn't mind that Skinner wants to get a new "H" from a Hyundai instead of a Honda? ... Apu now has a charity box? ... Nelson stole Lisa's microscope? (Why he'd want it is beyond me) ... Marge's dress is a little high-cut? (You can see the start of her calves in the car scene) ... Nelson's hair grows back as soon as he turns back to his friends? David Ney: ... Jimbo calls Nelson "ass butt"? ... Milhouse's dog has a bow in its hair? Damian Penny: ... Chalmers' 1979 Honda Accord really does look like a 1979 Honda Accord? ... Homer actually did bring the auto-dialer into court as evidence against him? Dallas Pesola: ... the number on the AT-5000 when it is seen in the dumpster is 553-4891-2? (the last digit is between 1 and 2 on the tumbler) ... the '553' prefix is not the norm of '555' for TV/movies? (makes you wonder who got a call from a Simpson fanatic last night) Mark Aaron Richey: ... Homer rubs his head after falling in the couch gag? ... the top left screw of the Honda decal is sticking out? ... Skinner drops the screwdriver after Kearney spots him by his car? ... Apu was serving Ned while Homer was "embellishing" the doughnut (and failed to tell him to have a good day)? ... Jimmy the Scumbag's eyes widen when Wiggum mentions the regular ass whompings in prison? ... Jimbo is looking in his locker when Skinner is about to investigate Nelson's? ... Nelson is looking at a teddy bear while Bart trys to talk Lisa out of liking him? ... the shopping cart in Nelson's front yard? ... Skinner has Stars & Stripes slippers? Ana Robles: ... Millhouse has a Yorkshire terrier? Liam J. Scanlan: ... Nelson must live alone, because last week his mother went crazy and this week his father went crazy? ... this is the first time the white font has been used over normal credits? (It still wouldn't matter if they used the yellow font) Cynthia Slaughter: ... the same background keeps repeating when Marge is driving Lisa home? Marge Starbrod-Simpson: ... even the "good" kids laughed at the thought of Chalmers crying like a girl? ... act 1 and act 2 started with the same exterior shot of SES? Douglas Winslow: ... the mousehole in the couch gag is on the "real" ground? ... the flag on the Simpsons' mailbox is down though they have mail?

Voice credits {dga}

- Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Willie, Abe) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Kearney, Nelson) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Chalmers, Apu, Wiggum, Paramedic, Frink, Lou) - Harry Shearer (Skinner, Burns, Largo, Jasper, Flanders, Eddie) Jasper, Ned, Eddie) - Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Jimbo, Milhouse, Janey) - Tress MacNeille (Dolph, Agnes) - Maggie Roswell (Maude) - Russi Taylor (Sherri or Terri, Uter)

Movie (and other) references

+ "Back to the Future" {dga} - mixing up "Density" and "Destiny," as in the title + M*A*S*H - Colonel Potter said "balderdash" alot like Superintendent Chalmers {hl} + The old-as-the-Net "Make Money Fast!" scam - although pyramidal schemes existed eons ago, this scheme was probably the inspiration for Homer's "Happy Dude" scam + Winston Churchill's radio address, on October 1st, 1939 - Churchill referred to Russia as "a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma", just like Lisa described Nelson {ddg} "Thunderball", James Bond movie {xn} - raising his eyebrow, saying "Oh, REALLY?" "She Don't Use Jelly", song by Flaming Lips {ns} - "She'll make you toast, but she don't use butter, [...] she uses vaseline" "Waterworld" - a "Nuke the Whales" bumper sticker shown, like Nelson's poster {dp} + The Catcher in the Rye, book from J.D. Salinger {tma} - someone is called a "crumb-bum" + Psycho - the interior of Skinner's house {dh} + "Rebel Without a Cause" - Nelson's "tool" outfit - the cops chasing Nelson, who Lisa thought was just "misunderstood" - the observatory in the background - the picnic - Lisa's red windbreaker {wj}

Previous episode references

- Lisa's tumultuous sentimental life: - [7G05] Shares a first kiss (with the Sailor kid) - [9F06] Sighs over Jimbo being a rebel - [9F13] Goes out with Ralph - [2F04] Hopes to change "that boy who works in the library" - [2F15] Is Milhouse's one true love, whom she will reject - [2F15] Might marry Hugh Parkfield - [3F17] Has a secret crush on Langdon Alger {jw} - [4F01] Has a crush on Nelson - [7G05], [9F19], [1F11] Nelson is in the Simpsons' house {ol} - [7F06] Todd Flanders plays the violin {ddg} - [7F11] "It was like that when I got here." {th} - [7F15] Janitorial work is used as punishment {ljs} - [8F02] A house is pelted with eggs (c.f. coleslaw) {mss} - [8F10] Homer is associated with money-making schemes {dn} - [8F12] The "Wee Monsieur" clothing store is shown - [8F15] Skinner does a locker search - [8F24] Dolph and Kearney have a somewhat major role {mss} - [1F02] Homer (cf. Milhouse) jumps into the air right before the credits {dn} - [1F08] Lisa is sensitive about the size of her rear end {bjr} - [1F08] Milhouse tries (and fails) to put Snowball II into a box (cf. Lisa with the baby carriage) {ol} - [1F09] A Frink invention walks away {dn} - [1F16] Milhouse resorts to his mom's compliments to make himself look better (My mom says I'm cool) {dn} - [1F17] Milhouse's glasses break {dn} - [1F18] Someone moons Skinner {ljs} - [2F04] A Simpson kid dumps someone else because of dishonesty {ljs} - [2F16] The "Two Star Cigars/Habana" box {ddg} - [2F19] "Pop Goes the Weasel" in band class {ddg} - [2F19] Lisa sits with a fourth grader at lunch {ljs} - [2F22], [3F17] Nelson hangs around with a brainiac {ljs} - [3F01] Nelson is dressed like a nerd (and doesn't like it) - [3F13], [4F04] Kearney's old age is pointed out - [3F14], [4F05] Burns answers "Ahoy hoy" on phone {ljs} - [3F17] Nelson's house is shown - [3F17] Twizzlers and Jolly Ranchers are mentioned {dn} - [3F18] Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers display sitcom-like tension (Principal Weatherbee, anyone?) {ns} - [4F02] Lisa treats the cat like a baby {dn}

Freeze frame fun

Homer's doughnut: {jh}

   - 13 M&M's (5 brown, 4 light orange, and 4 yellow), 3 Jolly Ranchers,
     a Twizzler, and a Mounds bar on it

People behind Skinner as Nelson's locker is raided: {jh}

   - Richard, Lewis, Wendell, Lisa, Milhouse, Janey, Ralph

Items found in Nelson's locker: {ol}

   - ball  (crystal ball?)
   - box of "Two Star Cigars"
   - blue shoe  (adult size)
   - Earth globe
   - basketball
   - baseball mitten
   - baseball bat
   - shoebox  [doesn't look like anything I can identify]
   - football
   - green, brown and blue books
   - model airplane
   - baseball
   - Honda "H"

Some stolen items in the gym class: {ol}

   - caged lobster
   - two portable radios
   - unicycle
   - bottle
   - basketball
   - light blue travel bag
   - two pink lunchbags
   - Earth globe
   - little blue ball
   - boomerang
   - hockey stick
   - yellow toy car
   - skateboard
   - baseball
   - Janey's lunch
   - Ralph's green book (?)
   - Krabappel's cigarettes
   - Lisa's microscope
   - frying pan (?)  [might be a radio too]
   - pair of black boots (?)
   - lots of quarters

People Nelson stole from: {dh}

   - kid with glasses
   - Ralph
   - Janey
   - Mrs. Krabappel
   - Lisa
   - Richard
   - Wendell
   - Ms. Hoover
   - Martin
   - Captain McAllister
   - Lewis
   - Milhouse
   - his former crony

AT-5000 layout:

    |                                |         .-------.          |
    |                                |        /---------\         |
    |     (old '50s tape here)       |       |-----------|        |
    |                                |       |-----------|        |
    | -------------------------------|       |-----------|        |
    |        ***       ***         | |        \---------/         |
    |       *****     *****        - |         `-------'          |
    |        ***       ***         | |                            |
    | -------------------------------|                            |
    |                                |      o [ ]Play             |
    | [    ]Send   Normal --I-- Auto |      o [ ]Record  Power[ ] |
    |   .------------------------.         o         [1][2][3]    |
    |   | 5  5  5  -  0  0  0  1 |        DIAL       [4][5][6]    |
    |   `------------------------'         o         [7][8][9]    |
    |         A T - 5 0 0 0              REDIAL      [*][0][#]    |

Music class chalkboard: {jh}

	Concert Program
    "Mary Had a Little Lamb"
    "Pop Goes the Weasel"
    "Jimmy Crack Corn"

Springfield Elementary music band: {ddg}

   - Lisa  (saxophone)
   - Sherri or Terri  (violin)
   - Janey  (clarinet)
   - Wanda  (triangle)
   - Uter  (accordion)
   - Milhouse  (trumpet or cornet)
   - Data  (clarinet)
   - girl  (percussion instrument, perhaps xylophone?)
   - Todd Flanders  (violin)
   - Wendell  (clarinet)
   - red-haired guy  ()
   - blue-haired girl in Bart's class  (violin or viola)
   - Lewis  (bassoon?)

Symbols above the chalkboard: {jh}

   - Pause, turn, mordent, sharp, natural

Happy Dude's mail: {dh}

   742 Evergreen Terrace
   Springfield, USA

Stuff in Nelson's room:

   - guitar
   - bent dumbbells
   - unfinished pizza in its box
   - speaker
   - TV antenna
   - comic book
   - red cap
   - lamp without shade
   - blue phone
   - lots of clothes on the ground

Posters in Nelson's room: {hl}

   - Nuke The Whales (old '80s answer to Greenpeace's "Save the Whales")
   - Bomb the Arabs and take their oil
   - Bomb the Indians and take their casinos

The rancid coleslaw box: {ol}

   K R U S T Y   B U R G E R
        C O L E S L A W

    144 Individual Servings
     Best Before Feb. 1994

- Overseas Animation: Akom  {ddg}

Animation, continuity, and other goofs

+ Skinner does have a car. He is seen in one in 1F07 and his mother took his keys from him in 1F04. = The mark left behind by the stolen "H" isn't there when Skinner looks at the end of the car. It miraculously appears when Chalmers talks about "Superintendant Money" {ol} + If Kearney has a car, how come he is always riding the school bus? {ol} = Homer leaves the Kwik-E-Mart empty handed, yet the shot of him going to his car shows him holding something. = A coat hook appears in Nelson's locker after the first shot. {jw2} = The hole in Nelson's locker is much bigger when we first see it. {dp2} - The caged lobster Nelson stole was red, which could only happen after it were boiled. {gg} = Lisa's microscope disappears after she shows it to Nelson. {dh} c The first call from the AT-5000 is dubbed "Greetings, friend", whereas it says "friends" afterwards. = On one shot of the music band, Ralph is taking Wanda's place at triangle. + "Pop Goes the Weasel" was the "forbidden music", as far as Mr. Largo was concerned, in "The PTA Disbands" [2F19]. {dga} * Both Janey and Uter joined in the "_____ loves _____" chants they immediately denied. {mar} * How does Lisa write so far up on the chalkboard? {ddg} * Each board has "I WILL NOT BE A SNICKERPUSS." written 14 times; if Lisa's using something that writes five lines at a time, there should be a multiple of five lines on each board. [Maybe she took off a piece of chalk to wirte the last four lines. -- {ljs}] * When Lisa is looking at Nelson, the last board only has 12 lines, and one is shorter than the others. {ddg} + Lisa says that Nelson is her first crush but in 3F17 she admits to Homer that she has a crush on Langdon Alger. {jw} = While Milhouse is sitting down in the cafeteria, Sherri and Terri can be seen at a table at the back of the room. When he starts to walk off, one of the twins has moved next to Ralph. {mar} = When Lisa tells Milhouse he's "like a big sister", many kids change position for that shot only. {dh} - Nothing seems to be written on Lisa's note before she folds it. {ol} = Lisa's note was not written on line paper. But it becomes line paper when the note is passed. {ol} = The carriage disappears when Bart enters Lisa's room. Then it ends up on the side of the bed even though no one seemed to have moved it. {ol} + Bart is semi-friends with Nelson, so shouldn't be too shocked to find him in the house. {mar} = The carriage disappears when Bart enters Lisa's room. Then it ends up on the side of the bed even though no one seemed to have moved it. {ol} * How does Frink know that auto-dialer was his? {ol} * When Professor Frink got the autodialer to "escape", the only cord connected to it was the power cord; if there was no phone cord, how was it connected to the phone line? {ddg} * The autodialer is able to run after the plug was pulled out. {hl} * It appears throughout his entire performance that Nelson's guitar has a capo on the fourth or fifth fret, yet when he tunes the guitar, he plays the frets above the capo, while plucking the strings down at the base of the guitar. It sounds as if he's actually playing the notes, while in reality this is impossible because any notes above the capo are muted completly. {ph} - When Nelson plays the guitar on his shelf, his right foot goes through the lamp's base. = When Marge picks Lisa up at Nelson's she's driving with her left foot on the accelerator, but she switches to the right in the last cut. {rg} + Lisa said to Bart that you can't change a person [2F04], yet now, she unsuccessfully tries to prove herself wrong. {ak} * Exactly how late was Lisa out with Nelson? Before she got home, both her parents and the Flanders had gone to bed (or tried to, at least). Wouldn't Marge have stayed up to wait for her eight-year-old daughter? {mar} - When Lisa talks to Nelson about "green hills", the hills are purple. {bb} * When Nelson kisses Lisa, she's thinking it's her first kiss, but she was kissed by a boy before, in "Bart the General" [No doubt Lisa means the first kiss that she willingly gives to another boy. -- {dga}] * When Nelson kisses Lisa, the close-up and the long shot have the Moon's crescent facing different directions, whereas a line connecting the "points" of the crescent should go through the center of the moon's visible circle. (Maybe it was a full moon and Burns decided to test out his latest moon-blocking disk, only to realize it was a little small?) {ddg} * When Nelson kisses Lisa, the moon's crescent is lit on the left side, but this means that it's just before sunrise, not just after sunset. {ddg} * The moon's crescent gets smaller in the last scene of Lisa's kiss. {ddg} + Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney have all proven to be interested in girls. Remember [8F24] "Kamp Krusty", when they head across the lake to "meet some tail"? Or [9F06] "New Kid on the Block", with Jimbo's "romance" of Laura Powers? + Jimbo's real name was Corky in 3F12. = Kearney didn't have the Krusty coleslaw until he shows it to Nelson, for which it disappears afterwards. {dh} * How come Ned and Maude don't deal out their scamming with Homer? (His voice is on the phone and he gives his address, which is next door.) {ljs} + Wasn't Skinner's house a bungalow in previous episodes? {dh} = Nelson's sweater vanishes after he takes it off. {dh} * How did the cops know Nelson was hiding at the Simpsons'? {ol} * Do Lou, Eddie or Wiggum ever sleep? They are on patrol in the middle of the night. {ol} * The chief smashed the autodialer thingy up pretty well, yet Homer got it to work for his "sorry dude" thingy at the end.


Dale G. Abersold: The first truly great episode of the season. Mike Scully takes an unpromising premise (Nelson and Lisa?) and turns it into a humorous look at preteen love. Although the subplot of Homer's autodialer was fairly useless, it was funny and didn't detract from anything. To this entire episode I must say, "it's funny, 'cause it's true." (A+) Greg Bigoni: When I first heard the premise of "Lisa's Date With Density," I figured it would be another ep where she would be wildly out of character in order to make a plotline "work." It's been done before... she was self-righteous and angry in "Lisa the Vegetarian," hyperactive and compulsive in "The PTA Disbands," and so on... but this time, it all worked. Lisa didn't compromise her own personality or values in order to go out with Nelson, and she remained intelligent, even realistic, throughout the full duration of the show. The Homer subplot was great, too, and there wasn't any doubt that this was something Homer would do (unlike most Homer stories from this season). Skinner, Wiggum, and Flanders were all hilarious, and I especially liked Milhouse this time. Aside from a few continuity screw-ups (Jimbo "Dr. Tongue" Jones and the recently-divorced Kearney berating Nelson for kissing a girl) it was the best ep they've had this season, finally restoring my hope for it. (A) Jennifer M. Blaske: I imagine a lot of people didn't like this episode, but I enjoyed it quite a bit, mostly because it was about Lisa and a return to a "normal plot." Some may say that her crush on Nelson made no sense, but I think I actually was Lisa twenty years ago, and it made perfect sense to me. (Although I do admit it would have made more sense if she were about 13.) The scene in the band room was particularly poignant and funny. And kudos to Lisa for learning at age eight what most grown women still haven't figured out! (A-) Stephan Bonneville: Although this episode was not great nor was it very memorable, it had it's moments. The best part of it was the watering scene with Nelson and Willie, but the gag with Milhouse and the "guess who likes you?" note also deserved an honourable mention. Despite this, writing an entire show about Nelson just seemed to make it too juvenile. "The Lisa likes Milhouse!" joke(?) had an all too irritating element to it, and Nelson's "Joy to the World" was stupid and obviously unoriginal. The writers can do better then that. (B-) Steve Frayne: One of the best Lisa-based episodes ever, but more time should've been spent on the subplot (Homer's telemarketing scam). I was glad to see that Nelson never actually showed any sign of changing his character, as the kiss was without sincerity. I own a Honda, so I particularly liked the beginning, but a Lisa episode is still a Lisa episode, and the best of those still only gets a C-. Joshua Fruhlinger: Not as awful as some of the other posters have claimed. It seemed to lack a certain punch, but the whole thing was generally watchable and had some funny moments. I liked the fact that they made Nelson somewhat human but left is character more or less intact. The auto-dialer plot was very funny, and led to a great Frink moment. Best line: "You're kissing a girl? That's so gay!" Followed closely by "Nuke the Indians and take their casinos." (B-) Jason Hancock: This was a mixed bag, to say the least. Although the main plot with Lisa and Nelson was something I could relate to, it did drag on at times. On the other hand, the subplot was hilarious and proves that a good subplot can save an otherwise weak episode. My favorite part would have to be Ned's battle with the phone. (B) Andrew Krupowicz: For some reason I found the plot, Lisa+Nelson, sick. Some parts were great, including the auto-dialer subplot, and the resolution to it, and the whole scene in music class. The latter part started to sag a little, pulling down a great opening, but the Milhouse, and prof. Frink gags were great! (B) Ondre Lombard: This episode was jam-packed with hilarious gags and funny jokes that flowed well together, but the brilliant subplot with Homer's telemarketing scam should've been saved for another episode to make more room for development on this story. Lisa's way of changing Nelson might've come out better if per say she got him to open up about his miserable family life. The kiss, like most of everything about this plot, was animated with no feel or emotion at all. Lisa and Nelson's lips met and they just froze there. Bart at least could've been concerned with what Lisa was getting into, but he was barely in the picture. The breakup was too sudden and unrealistic, as if nothing was there in the first place. All and all, it had potential to be a great story, but it was ruined, partially due to time eaten up by the brilliant, but cluttering subplot of Homer's scheme. (C+) Blaine Moller: All in all a very good episode. A lot of great gags, skinner paying his mom for the food he ate as a child, hoping to be a car owner someday etc... I never would have thought an episode about Lisa and Nelson would be that good, what a surprise. Would have liked to have seen a bit more of Homer but none the less a Great episode! (B+) David Ney: A good episode. The subplot about Homer and his telemarketing scam was a great idea! It really seemed like something Homer was bound to do sometime. I thought that Lisa being attracted to Nelson under any circumstances was a little far fetched, but hey, after 160 episodes I can see how the writers could resort to a strange love connection. Nelson harassing Willie had me ROTFL, and the whole thing about Homer's auto dialer constantly calling Ned was also cool. (B+) Werner Peeters: Nice storyline, Nelson is the true star of this episode ("Joy to the world, the teacher's dead!"), and finally we had another story with a brilliant subplot (Homer the spammer!) Great situation humour (the reaction of Bart when Nelson appears in his house), although sometimes the pace of the episode slows down too much, otherwise this would have been an A. (B+) Damian Penny: This confirms that the show is bouncing back after a mediocre season 7, because this one took the most unlikely of plots (Lisa gets a crush on Nelson!) and makes it very funny. Nelson rocking out on the guitar had me laughing for a LONG time, and I also loved the jabs at Honda owners, Milhouse's crush on Lisa, the "Milhouse loves Lisa...Janie loves Milhouse" scene, and Willy trying to train Nelson in using the 'hooze'. I didn't think they could pull it off, but they did. (A-) Mark Aaron Richey: For some reason, I simply couldn't get into this one. The major reason is that I never bought the idea that Lisa and Nelson could fall in "like" with each other...until the very end (more on that in a second). Even if Lisa liked Nelson, I can't figure out why in the world Nelson would like Lisa, or even want to hang out with her (after all, she is two years (at least) younger than he is, which is a huge age gap in elementary school). At the end, however, Lisa and Nelson's break-up still saddened me, if for no other reason than the looks on their faces (though I found the dialouge to be somewhat sappy). The telemarketing subplot had tons of potential, but I don't think the writers were able to captilaze on it. Only two scenes in the subplot lived completely up to expectations-the Mr. Burns scene and the scene where Homer drives his car onto the front yard in a hurry to get the mail. Every other scene failed to work the way it should have, espically the Ned & Maude scene, which went on for far too long. Sad to say, a great disappointment. (C-) Matt Rose: Cute. I have a feeling I'm alone on this but I really enjoyed this episode. When I first heard about the plot idea I couldn't believe my ears and I was among the doubters that such a thing could happen but as it turned out it worked for me. My only complaint is that perhaps the ending was a bit rushed. That aside, I found myself laughing hard frequently (FRINK!) and of course it being about Lisa makes it that much better. Best one this year, so far. (A) Nelson Seggley: I thought this episode was hilarious. It brought a character to the forefront that has always amused me- Nelson Muntz. There were less laffs-a-minute, but more sustaining incidents of hilarity. The incident with Homerchasing Frink's auto-dial machine was a classic. Other good gags included Nelson's song (the lyrics are old; the punk rave-up new.), the whole music class scene (Lisa, does the word tromboner amuse you?), the look on Milhouse's face when Nelson looks back at him after reading the note, the Flanders' problems with the teledialer, and the whole "Happy-dude" thing. (A-) Aaron Varhola: A frustrating episode. We get to see more of Nelson and what may have turned him into a bully, more of Milhouse and foreshadowing of what may happen several years down the road, but the episode stopped short; maybe a minute more emphasis on three scenes: the Lisa meeting Milhouse scene, the scene with Lisa and Marge talking in the car, and Nelson explaining that his father went crazy, would have made the episode a top-notch one. Most parents wouldn't let their 8-year-old daughter date, as well, but that's beside the point here. (B+) Matthew Williams: My GOD, that was funny. I really liked the Nelson gags, such as Milhouse's severe beating, and Willie's "huse" gags. But the highlight of the show was the pretty dang funny Homer Telemarketing scam. The Flanders' repeated telephone calls had me rolling on the floor. Also, the ending was hilarious. (A+) Yours Truly: Yes, I was very apprehensive towards this episode, even to wonder if I should even watch it. But I did, and it brought me that kind of feeling I once got from 2F15 and 3F22. After reflexion, I found out that the silliness of the starting idea had been restrained to the last 20 seconds of acts I and II, thus clearing out the way for a wonderful episode. It's not everyday that you get a nice and somewhat touching Lisa plot, along with a hilarious subplot. All in all, definitely grade-A material, only brought down by sparks of mischaracterization and that dreadful kiss. (A-) AVERAGE GRADE: B+ (3.3) NIELSEN RATING: 7.4 (ranked 63rd out of 119) {ol}

Comments and other observations

Writer Watch

Dale G. Abersold:  Mike Scully has had a somewhat checkered history with
   the series.  Only his first effort, "Lisa's Rival" [1F17] has been
   generally liked by the a.t.s populace.  His other efforts include
   "Lisa on Ice" [2F05], "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds" [2F18], "Marge
   Be Not Proud" [3F07], and "Team Homer" [3F10].  This episode sure
   improves his stock in my book, though.

Why so many voice actors take the bus

Matt Rose:  This is a weird, somewhat far-fetched reference that some
   may find hard to swallow but I thought I'd pass it along. Chalmers
   buys a car (a Honda Accord) and brags about making "superintendant
   money" which enables him to buy a car. I read somewhere that Yeardley
   Smith has owned one car in her life (an Accord); I wonder if this is
   a stab at how much money the voice actors on the show make, i.e.,
   "real" actors all make millions and drive fancy cars, while they
   (voice actors) are stuck with Hondas. Perhaps I've been reading too
   much about their personal lives. 

Blood on the blackboard: The Bart Simpson story

Ondre Lombard:  As most can tell, Lisa's question "How does Bart do this
   every week?" is a clear slice of meta-humor on the opening theme.
   Ironically, Lisa is made to write on various blackboards, compared to
   the one blackboard in his class he writes on every week.  This joke
   might've been funnier had their been a blackboard scene this episode.
   But yet again we're disappointed with nothing more than a couch
   scene.  Wonder how long those will last.

It seems like I've been wearing this same red dress forever

Michael Baer:  I think the episode underscored the fact that the
   Simpsons characters are truly two-dimensional (figuratively as well
   as literally).  They can never be pegged down to a catch-phrase (as
   in "Bart Gets Famous"), and are thus interesting.  On the other hand,
   they are developed as true humans (which is best saved for drama, not
   comedy/satire) and never change (thus ensuring ad infinitum

   However, this continuity is changing with time, or so it seems.
   Milhouse's long-standing crush (a la "Lisa's Wedding") is beginning,
   and Lisa does seem awfully young for a first kiss.  Now the only
   major character they haven't put through the motions romantically (I
   didn't count "Lisa's Substitute" or "Lisa's Wedding") has been
   Maggie, and it kind of makes me wonder when they'll break down and do

Edward W. Clayton:  Is it just me, or was it really out of character for
   Lisa to not blow up at Nelson for beating up Milhouse? I mean, I'm
   sort of surprised that the writers would use a scene of a bully
   beating up someone he thinks is gay as laugh material in the first
   place, but isn't Lisa far too liberal to put up with that -- even if
   she does have a crush on Nelson?

And a howdily-diddely to you

Dave Hall's simple list of "expletives" used in this episode:

     "Holy jumping Censor's Catfish!"
     "Damn! Dang! Darn!"
     "Great barrier reef!"

What's that song again?

Dale G. Abersold:  Before this episode, none of the previous eight
   used the normal Simpsons closing theme music, last heard in "Much Apu
   About Nothing" [3F20].  While only an excerpt of the music was played
   (since most of the time was devoted to Homer's hilarious telephone
   apology), it was still nice to hear it again.  Anyway, the substitute
   music has been...

    [3F21] The Simpsons theme as interpreted by Sonic Youth
    [3F22] "All Summer Long" by the Beach Boys
    [4F02] The Simpsons theme, Hallowe'en style
    [3F23] The "Scorpio" song
    [4F03] "People" sung by a Barbra Streisand sound-alike
    [4F05] "Any Way You Want It" by Journey
    [4F06] "We Put the Spring in Springfield" reprise
    [4F04] The Simpsons theme, done as a mellow 70's love ballad

Loose Ends

Benjamin Jay Robinson:  The promo showed Lisa riding on the back of
   Nelson's bike, a scene which wasn't used in the episode.

Mark Aaron Richey:  A few years back, there was a trend going around
   where people would yank the decal off of a high-priced car.  As I
   recall, Mercades were hit the hardest, though other upscale brands
   were at risk too (I recall my uncle's BMW emblem being stolen off his

James R. Curry reports no cuts on SKY. (Good!)

Quotes and Scene Summary {ol}

At Springfield Elementry, Skinner prepares to have his lunch when Chalmers barges into the lunchroom. Chalmers: Skinner!! Skinner: [gasps] Uh, Superintendant Chalmers! [nervously pants] What's wrong? Chalmers: [calmly] Nothing, I just bought myself a car. Skinner: Oh. Oh good. This'll sound crazy, but at first I, I thought I'd enraged you again. Chalmers: SKINNER!! Skinner: What? What!? Chalmers: Ah, you're getting paranoid. -- Just keeping you on your toes, "Lisa's Date With Density" Chalmers takes Skinner out to the parking lot to show his new set of wheels. You know, I used to think a car was just a way of getting from point A to point B -- and on weekends, point C. But that was the old me. That man died the moment I laid eyes on a 1979 Honda Accord. -- Chalmers, practical and emotional, "Lisa's Date With Density" Skinner admires Chalmers' old, tannish brown pride. I've always admired car owners and I hope to be one myself as soon as I finish paying off mother. She insists I pay her retroactively for the food I ate as a child. -- Skinner's growing relationship, "Lisa's Date With Density" Chalmers start bragging about his car and his "superintendant money" again, when he notices with horror that his "H" emblem has been stolen. What's the point in having a Honda if you can't show it off? -- Perhaps it's best for everybody this way, "Lisa's Date With Density" Skinner calms him down and says he could find a replacement. Moments later, he finds a blue Hyundai and tries to swipe the "H" from it using a screwdriver. Kearney catches him outside a window in the school, and yells at him to get away from his car. Skinner drops the screwdriver and he and Chalmers flee. Meanwhile, at the Kwik-E-Mart, Ned is buying groceries from Apu. Making sure he's not observed, Homer gets a doughnut from the "Self-Serve" doughnut cabinet and fiddles with it, chuckling. He nonchalantly goes to check out, but Apu soon realizes that there's something wrong. It seems that Homer tried to sneak various other candies on top this doughnut to pass them off as sprinkles. A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle. A twizzler is not a sprinkle. A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir. Perhaps in Shangri-La they are, but not in here. -- Worldwide Kwik-E-Mart regulations, "Lisa's Date With Density" Foiled, Homer leaves. "Thank you, come again!" bellows Apu from inside the store. Heading for his car, Homer finds police arresting Jimmy "the scumbag" for using an auto-dialer for a telemarketing scam. He's gonna rot in the slammer for the next twenty years. Bread and water, icy showers, guards whomping your ass round the clock, and the only way out is suicide. -- Chief Wiggum, "Lisa's Date with Density" Despite this warning, Homer has gotten an idea. The children of Springfield Elementary have become suspects in the theft of Chalmers' "H". The four bad boy kids find the whole thing funny. Skinner: I'll tell you something that's not so funny. Right now, Superintendant Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl. [everybody laugh] [chuckles] I guess it is a little funny. -- "Lisa's Date With Density" Bart's locker is the first locker to be checked. Bart warns Skinner against looking inside. Skinner soon finds out that there are a half a dozen eggs inside, all of which hit him in the face. The last six smack him also. Everyone's lockers are checked, leaving only Nelson, "the bottom of the barrel." Groundskeeper Willy pulls open Nelson's last. "Ha-ha!" exclaims Nelson after nothing is found in the locker. Skinner is shocked. Damn! Dang! Darn! -- Skinner, "Lisa's Date With Density" Skinner's beating manages to make the inner wall of the locker fall down, revealing a wall with a hole in it big enough to carry numerous items not belonging to Nelson, one of which, especially, is the "H". Skinner: [gasps] A principal's ransom in stolen goods! Well, sir, who's "Ha-ha"-ing now? Nelson: I dunno. But he's got lethal tuna breath. Kids: Oooooooh! Lisa: Who does Nelson think he's impressing, anyway, acting so coool all the time? Milhouse: [trying to look impressive] Not me! -- As cool as a cooler, "Lisa's Date With Density" Skinner: All right, Mr. Smartenheimer, that does it. First, you're going to give back everything you've stolen. Then, I'm sentencing you to one week of the lowest, most degrading work known to man -- janitorial work. Willy: Ah, geez. I'm standing right here, sir. Skinner: Ah, yes. Uh... Take a good look at him, Nelson, 'cause that's where you're headed. -- "Lisa's Date With Density" In the gym class, kids are gathered to retrieve their stolen items, then ask Nelson for an apology. However, Nelson's not much in the mood for excuses. Nelson: [to a kid] Bite me. [to Janey] Cram it. [to Ralph] You're dead. [to Mrs. Krabappel] Get bent, Ma'am. -- Ensuring good grades, "Lisa's Date With Density" Lisa is next. Lisa: Why do you have to be such a pain all the time? Don't you realize you're getting a bad reputation? Nelson: Don't you realize your butt sticks out? -- "Lisa's Date With Density" To prove his point, Nelson kicks Lisa's butt when she looks behind herself. Follows the traditional "ha-ha", not to Lisa's amusement. At home, Marge sees Homer put the auto-dialer next to the telephone. Marge: An automatic dialer? Is that legal? I don't want you getting arrested, Homer. Homer: I won't. Marge: Or swindling our neighbors. Homer: [pause] -- Can I choose?, "Lisa's Date With Density" Homer proceeds to show Marge how this works. He presses the "Dial" button, and the machine dials 555-0001. The first victim is Mr. Burns. Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away. -- Homer's take at telemarketing scam, "Lisa's Date With Density" One dollar for eternal happiness. Mmmm... I'd be happier with the dollar. -- Burns as we know him, "Lisa's Date With Density" Homer: Now we just sit by the mailbox and watch the money roll in. Marge: But you're going to annoy thousands of people just to make a few measly dollars. It's nothing but panhandling. Homer: Tele-panhandling. -- So that makes you tele-annoying, "Lisa's Date With Density" Back at Springfield Elementary, Mr. Largo is preparing the students for a recital. ...and should there be requests for an encore, we will reprise "Pop Goes the Weasel." Otherwise, we will file out quietly. -- Mr. Largo sums up the concert, "Lisa's Date With Density" Lisa's lets out a slight sigh of boredom when she hears a hose go off outside. She looks outside the window to see Nelson helping Willy in the schoolyard. Willy: And that's how Willy waters. Now, you take the hoose. Nelson: The moose? Willy: The HOOSE! The HOOSE! [Willy gives the hose to Nelson] Nelson: Is this right? [sprays him] Willy: Aaugh! Turn off the noozle! Nelson: The noodles? What noodles? Willy: The noozle at the end of the hoose! -- "Lisa's Date With Density" Lisa giggles, only to be caught by Mr. Largo. Miss Simpson? Do you find something funny about the word tromboner? -- Mr. Largo, losing our PG rating, "Lisa's Date With Density" Sherri: She was looking at Nelson! Kids: [taunting] Lisa likes Nelson! Milhouse: She does not! Kids: [taunting] Milhouse likes Lisa! Janey: He does not! Kids: [taunting] Janey likes Milhouse! Uter: She does not! Kids: [taunting] Uter likes Milhouse! Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse! -- Well put, "Lisa's Date With Density" Mr. Largo calls for detention. Later that day, Lisa writes "I will not be a snickerpuss." on the blackboard. There are four more blackboards left. By the second one, Lisa's hand has already become tired. Oooh. How does Bart do this every week? -- Lisa writing on the blackboard, "Lisa's Date With Density" Nelson passes by, taunting the "brainiac" about her detention, and advises her to use "that deal with the five chalks" to go faster. Lisa says she'll comply to the honest way instead, but it's not long before she decides to use it anyway to complete her writings. Once finished, she ponders how a good idea could ever come from Nelson. Looking out the window, she sees him beating a hive surrounded by bees with a rake. Lisa begins to think to herself. He's not like anybody I've ever met. He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest. He sure is ugly, though. -- Lisa thinks about Nelson, "Lisa's Date With Density" "So why can't I stop staring at him?", she wonders. The answer worries her: "Oh no! I think I'm getting a crush on Nelson Muntz!" Nelson holds the hive in the hive and calls out to Willy. "Hey, Willy! Catch the football!" Nelson flings the bee hive at Willy. "All right, I... Aaaaaaaaaaaah!! Aaaaah aaaaah!!" Lisa sighs dreamily. [End of Act One. Time: 8:08] The next day, at lunchtime, Nelson's goofing off with Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney. At a table not too far away, Lisa talks to Milhouse. Lisa: Milhouse, I've never told anyone this kind of thing before, but I've never felt this way before. I think I have a crush... Milhouse: [gasps] Oh! Oh, really? [suavely drinks from his milk carton] Lisa: ... on Nelson Muntz. [Milhouse gags, then spits his milk back into the straw, causing the carton to expolde and spill milk all over him] Nelson: Way to drink, poindexter! -- "Lisa's Date With Density" Milhouse: You like Nelson?! But he's a creep and he chipped one of my permanent teeth! Lisa: But I bet underneath he's a sweet, sensitive person... like you. [Milhouse makes an unflattered glare] Lisa: I guess you could say I'm wanna bring out the Milhouse in Nelson. Milhouse: But I'm all Milhouse! Plus, my mom says I'm the handsomest guy in school. -- Ahem, "Lisa's Date With Density" Lisa: I like you too, Milhouse, but not in that way. You're like a big sister. Milhouse: No, I'm not! Why does everybody keep saying that? Lisa: Would you do me a favor? When you get back to class, just give him this note. Milhouse: [groans] Lisa: [insistent] Please? Milhouse: [thinking] When she sees you'll do anything she says, she's bound to respect you. [aloud] Sure! What's a big sister for? [walks off] [to himself] Oh... I shouldn't have said that. -- "Lisa's Date With Density" Back in class, the note is passed to Nelson. Nelson: [reading] "Guess who likes you." [turns around] [Milhouse wiggles his fingers at him] -- That won't help, "Lisa's Date With Density" Next thing he knows, Milhouse is rushed out the school on a gurney, his glasses wrecked and his nose leaking a stream of blood. Lisa: Milhouse, I'm so sorry! Paramedic: He can't hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze. -- "Lisa's Date With Density" Milhouse is packed into an ambulance that speeds away. Lisa catches Nelson before he goes back to class. Lisa: Nelson! Um... that note Milhouse gave you? It wasn't from him. It was from... me. Nelson: You?! Why would you like me? No girls like me. [pause] Are you wearing a wire? Lisa: I don't know why I like you, I just do. So... what do you think? Nelson: It's okay... I guess. Do I have to do anything? Lisa: Well, would you like to come over to my house after school? Nelson: Okay. But if anybody sees us, I'm just there to steal your bike. -- Nelson's views on dating, "Lisa's Date With Density" Homer maniacally drives home, anxiously running for the mailbox, wherein lies a donation to Homer's "Happy Dude" sham. He gets two dollars. Homer: Woo-hoo! Two dollars! It's working! [at the Springfield Retirement Castle] Grampa: I don't feel any happier. How about you? Jasper: Mmm... A little. -- If you ever want to spell "pathetic", "Lisa's Date With Density" Nelson's in Lisa's room, on Lisa's bed. Lisa rolls in a baby carriage with Snowball II on her shoulder, and tries to show him how it can "be the baby". But after a lot of work and insistence, the cat just won't give in and runs away. Lisa affirms that she loves to climb in the carriage. "I believe you! I don't care!" is Nelson's response. Bart walks in. Bart: Hey, Lis, Mom said you had the toenail clippers and... Woah! Lisa, look out! Nelson's in our house! Lisa: It's okay. I invited him over. Nelson's my new... friend. Bart: Are you nuts? I'll probably never say this to you again, but... you can do better! Lisa: Please don't ruin this for me, Bart. I think he's starting to like me. Bart: Milhouse likes you. Lisa: Oh please! Milhouse like Vaseline on toast! Bart: Hmm. -- Culinary curiosities, "Lisa's Date With Density" Homer's auto-dialer victimizer has hailed its own inventor, Prof. Frink, who is having a chess game with an electronic hand. No, pawns can't move that way, you stupid arm. -- Frink plays chess agains his robotic arm, "Lisa's Date With Density" Frink answer the phone and recognizes the machine as his very first patent. Disappointed in how his machine is being used, he controls it to extend its legs and wheel away back to him. "Oh, no, you don't!" claims Homer, chasing it down. He removes the legs and brings it back inside. Nelson takes Lisa to his abode. You're the first person I've had over to the house since my Dad went nuts. -- Nelson brings Lisa over, "Lisa's Date With Density" Underneath the welcome mat (stolen from Kwik-E-Mart, no less) are cockroaches. On top Nelson's key to the house are more bugs Nelson has to blow off. Nelson invites Lisa inside and into his unkept bedroom. Lisa discovers a poster on his wall of two whales being blown up. Lisa: [reading] "Nuke the whales?" You don't really believe that, do you? Nelson: I dunno. Gotta nuke something. Lisa: Touche. -- Tough argumentation, "Lisa's Date With Density" Finding a guitar, Lisa asks Nelson (who claims to be a superstar) to play a song for her. Nelson tunes it up a bit, then starts wildly strumming a song. Joy to the world the teacher's dead! They barbecued her head! What happened to her body? We flushed it down the potty And 'round and 'round it goes And 'round and 'round it... goes... -- Nelson's guitar talent, "Lisa's Date With Density" Nelson's ode is interrupted by Lisa's annoyed look, who doesn't laugh at the idea of a teacher being decapitated. Nelson decides to take a nap, leaving it to her to find a way to get home. In the family car, Lisa confides to her mother who picked her up, admitting she's a fool to believe she could ever change Nelson. But Marge has some different advice. Marge: When I first met your father, he was loud, crude and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now, he's a whole new person. Lisa: Mom...? Marge: He's a whole new person, Lisa. Lisa: Oh, I know. -- You noticed?, "Lisa's Date With Density" She then wonders if the same miracle could be performed on Nelson. Lisa's taken Nelson to "Wee Monsieur," where he sports a blue sweater, a suit shirt, some slacks and a haircut. He doesn't like it, but Lisa thinks it highlights his sweet, sensitive side. Nelson now knows what he's gotten into. Near the observatory, Lisa has a picnic with Nelson on a hill overseeing the city at night. Lisa: Isn't it nice up here? What are you thinking, Nelson? Nelson: Am I thinking about what? Lisa: About anything. Nelson: Nothin'. Lisa: [growls] How do you feel? What's inside you right now? Nelson: Guts... and black stuff... and about fifty Slim Jims. Lisa: Come on, Nelson! You must think and feel things. I mean, look at where we are: a rolling, green hillside, the stars coming out like God is lighting a million tiny candles, the moon looking down on us as if to say... [Lisa turns to Nelson, who suddenly kisses her] Lisa: [thinking] My first kiss! I always wondered what it would be like! Nelson: This oughtta shut her up. -- By any means necessary, "Lisa's Date With Density" But Nelson realizes "this isn't so bad", and they both close their eyes and enjoy the moment. [End of Act Two. Time: 14:53] Lisa and Nelson part lips. She tells him that he does indeed have a tender side, and only needed someone to bring it out. Nelson looks warmly at Lisa, and takes her hand. Their romantic evening is spoiled by Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney. Dolph: Oh, man! You kissed a girl! Jimbo: That is so gay! Lisa: Listen, you thugs. Stop making fun of him or you'll be sorry. All three: [sarcastically] Woaaah!! Lisa: You'll be so sorry when you realize how you've hurt the feelings of a sweet young man. -- That'll show them, "Lisa's Date With Density" Nelson puts his hand on his forehead and shakes his head. Meanwhile, Lisa goes on, calling them "crumb-bums", which Jimbo doesn't take well. Fortunately, Nelson intervenes, telling Lisa to go have a fig bar while he handles this. She goes to the bench and eats. Back to the crumb-bums, Nelson argues that he's still "wicked bad", which Jimbo asks him to prove. Jimbo: Come raid Skinner's house with us. Kearney: We found a bunch of rancid coleslaw in the dumpster behind Krusty Burger. Dolph: Yeah, and we're gonna go heave it at his house! -- Elementary school pranks, "Lisa's Date With Density" Nelson is on the verge to give in, but then sees Lisa and decides to stay. He goes back to her, taunted by the bullies, who then walk off. Lisa congratulates him for not using violence, and makes a touched smile. It's night, and everyone's asleep. The auto-dialer, now set on "redial", calls the Flanders. Ned: [sleepy] Howdily-diddely. Phone: Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look... Ned: [hangs up] Oh, it's that darn recording again. Maude: Of course it was. It's been calling all night. Just unplug the phone. [Ned turns out the light -- the phone rings again] Ned: Howdily-di... Phone: Greetings, friends... [Ned hangs up] Ned: Dang! Maude: I told you to unplug the phone. Ned: But it could be my mother! [the phone rings] Howdy... Phone: Greetings, friends... Ned: [hangs up] Shoot! Maude: That is it, Ned! If you don't unplug that phone right now, you're sleeping on the lawn. Homer: [outside his window] Will you two shut up?! People are trying to sleep! -- "Lisa's Date With Density" In the middle of the night, Skinner is awakened by a loud thumping. Great barrier reef! We're under attack! -- Skinner, "Lisa's Date With Density" It's the infernal trio, pelting slaw all over his house. Jimbo wonders why Nelson is wasting his time with Lisa instead. "'Cause your mom had a three-month waiting list." answers the concerned, back in business. Skinner: Who's out there? Give me your names so I can tell the police. Agnes: [from upstairs] Seymour, what's going on? What's that odor? Skinner: Go back to bed, mother. I've got it under control. Listen, you crumb bums, if you think I'm impressed, I am not. [they fan their bare behinds in front of his window] Skinner: Ohm brandishing your buttocks is only making me angrier! Agnes: I wanna see what's going on! Skinner: No, mother! Don't look out the window! Agnes: [screams] -- Never saw a bare butt before, "Lisa's Date With Density" Hearing police sirens, the four of them split up and run. The cops arrive and the gang split up and run off. Nelson chose Lisa's house as to hide. He throws a shoe at a window. Nelson: Lisa, cops are chasing me! I need a place to hide! [Homer opens his window] Homer: Lisa's window is the next one. -- Caring as always, "Lisa's Date With Density" Nelson walks off. Meanwhile, a phone can be heard. Ned: Howd... Phone: Greetings, friends... Maude: Ned, did you plug that phone back in? Homer: Shut up! -- When you shut up first,"Lisa's Date With Density" Nelson deceives Lisa and claims he wasn't at Skinner's house and he is just out to get him. Lisa meets him at the back door, while Wiggum, Lou and Eddie burst open the front door. Wiggum: A-ha! I had a feeling we'd find you here! [shoots] Lou: Chief, no! Eddie: What'd you do that for? Wiggum: Well, that thing's been driving the whole town nuts. Got me out of the bath seven times. Seven! Homer: [running down stairs] Hey, who shot the auto-dialer? [sees police] ... Marge's auto-dialer. Wiggum: See you in court, Simpson. Oh, and uh, bring that evidence with you. Otherwise, I got no case, and you go scot-free, you know. -- "Lisa's Date With Density" Lou: Uh, Chief, what about those coleslaw punks? Wiggum: Well, I... I can't be everywhere at once, Lou, now can I? You know, in most cities, the Chief of Police doesn't even go out on calls like these. Eddie: Yeah, yeah, we know, Chief. Lou: We appreciate it, Chief. Eddie: Count our blessings everyday. Lou: Yeah we're very appreciative. -- Did they teach guilt trips at the academy too?, "Lisa's Date With Density" Morning rises and Lisa looks at her house through one of those paying telescopes at the observatory. Police cars are scattering up. Lisa: I think they're giving up. Nelson: Thanks for helping me out. You're a stand-up babe. -- This means good, right?, "Lisa's Date With Density" Nelson points the scope in another direction and watches Skinner clean up his house. He shares one eye of the scope with Lisa. Nelson: Check it out. Skinner's mopping the goo off his house! Wait till he finds what I left in his birdbath. Skinner: Nooooooooooooooooo! -- Even worse than all you suffered in 'Nam?, "Lisa's Date With Density" The quarter is up, and Lisa reminds him he said he wasn't there. He tries to backpedal, but finally admits he lied, and then asks for another kiss. Lisa realizes she was a fool to think she changed him, and waves him a goodbye, or "smell you later". On her walk home, she passes in front of Milhouse's home, who's outside with his dog. Milhouse: Hi, Lisa. Could I talk to you, or would that just make Nelson whale on me again? Lisa: Don't worry. Nelson and I don't like each other anymore. Milhouse: [gasps] Really? You got anybody in mind for your next crush? Lisa: Well, I'm really not thinking about that now. [walking away] I suppose it could be almost anybody. Milhouse: [jumps into the air] YES! -- Way to go, you're on the maybe list, "Lisa's Date With Density" [End of Act Three. Time: 21:22] Over the first portion of the end credits is the auto-dialer, playing a new tape of Homer's voice. Hello, this is Homer Simpson, a.k.a. Happy Dude. The court has ordered me to call every person in town to apologize for my telemarketing scam. I'm sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, send one dollar to Sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. You have the power. -- Anti-scamming the Homer way, "Lisa's Date With Density"


{ak} Andrew Krupowicz {bb} Benjamin Ball {bjr} Benjamin Jay Robinson {ddg} Don Del Grande {dga} Dale G. Abersold {dh} Dave Hall {dn} David Ney {dp} Damian Penny {dp2} Dallas Pesola {gg} Greg Galon {hl} Haynes Lee {jh} Jason Hancock {jmb} Jennifer M. Blaske {jw} Jon Warkentin {jw2} James Wooten {ljs} Liam J. Scanlam {mar} Mark Aaron Richey {mss} Marge Starbrod-Simpson {ns} Nelson Seggley {ol} Ondre Lombard {ph} Patrick Hayden {rg} Rick Gray {th} Tony Hill {tma} Todd M. Aglialoro {wj} William Jones {xn} Xan Nowakowski

Legal Mumbo Jumbo

This episode capsule is Copyright 1997 Frederic Briere. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material, episode summaries and annoying Home Improvement previews remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. The transcript itself is Copyright 1997 Ondre Lombard. Do not puncture, mutilate, or throw into fire. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.