[4F07] Hurricane Neddy

Hurricane Neddy                                         Written by Steve Young
                                                      Directed by Bob Anderson
Production code: 4F07                      Original Airdate in U.S.: 29-Dec-96
Capsule revision A,  4-Mar-97            Original Airdate in Canada: 28-Dec-96

"TV Guide" Synopsis {ol}

After a hurricane destroys the Flanders' house, the citizenry rebuilds it. But Ned publicly criticizes their workmanship, and the guilt from his outburst sends him to a mental hospital.

Title sequence

Couch :- The couch is missing, replaced by a Vend-A-Couch panel. Homer puts in a coin, then bangs the machine, only to get the couch dropped on him.

Did you notice...

... the Del Monte logo on the creamed eels? ... Grandpa claims he was born in the nursing home? ... Apu's moustache sticking straight up when they pass the "electric room?" ... in the asylum were Ms. Botzkowski, John Swartzwelder (no, not David Crosby) and Jay Sherman (from "The Critic")? ... one of the signs being held up at the end said "Free John Swartzwelder"? Dale G. Abersold: ... this was the first episode written by Steve Young? (not the quarterback, natch) Stephan Bonneville: ... only Lisa has a platform outside her window? ... Swartzwelder's and Ms. Botz's cell doors are open and unattended? ... Ned has a manger scene up despite the fact it is not Christmas? James R. Curry: ... Lisa actually needs to look up the signs of a Hurricane? ... Marge drives a car through the intense winds? ... the box of "X-MAS Lights" in the cellar? ... OFF have a couch in the cellar? ... in the house the townspeople build, the ground floor is considerably better built than the upstairs floor? Don Del Grande: ... in the "The Hurricane" takeoff of the opening, the left half of the word "Hurricane" appears first, just as the left half of "Simpsons" appears first in the opening (although that's because the right half is behind a cloud)? ... during the hurricane, the shutters on the front of the house don't move while the ones in back of the house do? ... Ned twitches his left eye twice - once after saying he's "fine" following the spanking, and again at the end of the episode? ... Maggie is gesturing how to turn the Rubik's Cube along with the others? ... the Leftorium is normally closed? (Maude says "we'll open up the Leftorium") ... Ned's house must have been the most poorly-made one in the neighborhood, since no other house in the vicinity appeared to be even scratched? ... Lisa's barometer was marked "18-29-30-31"? ... the pressure dropped to below 28.5" below the hurricane hit? ... apparently, Kwik-E-Mart was the only store open? ... in close-up, you can't read "Butthole" on Todd's shirt, but in the next scene, you can? ... Ned didn't have anything bad to say about Maggie? (If you don't count "your family's out of control" to Marge, that is) Jason Hancock: ... the can of wadded beef resembles a Campbell's Soup can? ... the prison warden (from 9F20) and Dean Peterson (from Springfield University, 1F02) are at the execution? ... the church's TV has bent rabbit ears? ... the "I Love Southpaws" and "Left-Handers Rule" posters at the Leftorium? ... the "Kiss Me, I'm Left Handed" T-shirts at the Leftorium? ... this is the first speaking role for Ned's mother? (His father spoke in 1F18.) Tony Hill: ... Apu's rooftop garden is gone? ... the Flanderses haven't rebuilt the bomb shelter? ... a spindle on the admissions desk? ... Ned wore glasses as a child? ... even Maggie wears a "Sane" sticker? Joe Klemm: ... the D'oh when the couch lands on Homer? ... Flanders' room in the mental hospital is 107? Haynes Lee: ... TV Guide says this episode is postponed from an earlier date? (which pretty much speaks for the entire eighth season!) ... Hutz is the first one in the Kwik-E-Mart? Ondre Lombard: ... Matt Groening leaves his name on this episode despite the appearance of Jay Sherman? ... Lisa has a meteorology station set up for no particular reason? [was I the only one to set up one as a kid too? --ed] ... OFF doesn't take Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II into the cellar with them? ... Ned puts on his glasses even though the right lens fell out? ... Ned swears twice in this episode? ... Homer doesn't bring his "Not Insane" certificate to the hospital? ... we finally hear the real closing song? Donald Martin: ... Ned Flanders' response to Homer asking him if he hated fluorescent lights seems overdubbed? [if so, anybody knows what the original line was? --ed] David Ney: ... OFF now have a cellar with an outside entrance? ... when Ned is dragged off, he screams, but does not kick? Nathan Patrin: ... one person steals a left-handed Statue of Liberty from the Leftorium? Benjamin J. Robinson: ... Ned's stream of "diddelys" right before he snaps includes the words "shoddily" and "hostility"? Jean-Philippe Savard: ... Calmwood Hospital doesn't bother to repair the fence Ned drove through? Liam J. Scanlan: ... this is the second hurricane that Springfieldians should know about? (It starts with a B) ... Ned's beatnik mother looks like Maude?

Voice credits {ol}

- Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Grampa, Krusty, Barney, patient) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Ralph, Rod, Todd) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Apu, Kirk, Convict, Wiggum, Lenny, Moe, Dr. Foster, Jay's Doctor) - Harry Shearer (Kent, National Guard, Ned, Rev. Lovejoy, Dr. Hibbert, Happiest Man in Springfield, Ned's Dad, Doctor) - Special Guest Voice - Jon Lovitz (Jay Sherman) - Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Hospital Receptionist) - Tress MacNeille (Mrs. Glick, Nurse) - Maggie Roswell (Maude, Mrs. Foster, Ned's Mom)

Movie (and other) references

+ "How and Why", series of science books {jh} - Lisa's "The How, Why, and Huh? Book of Weather" + Wizard of Oz, classic movie {hl} - Hurricane carrying away bowling alley similar to tornado carrying away Dorothy's house + Twister, 1996 blockbuster movie - Homer is pulled back in the cellar by his family + "The Butthole Surfers" - Todd wears a shirt of this band + The Bible / "God's Favorite", a play by Neil Simon {as} - Ned is a very religious man who lost his home and place of work and questions whether God is testing him. This mirrors Job and Joe Benjamin respectively. ~ Home Improvement, TV series {hl} - Buiding of a house, many goofs made "Alice in Wonderland", Disney's adaptation of this Lewis Carrol novel {jps} / "Willy Wanka and the Choclate Factory" {ac} - a tiny door leading to a room ~ The Dream Team {ljs} - patient drives other patients to the nuthouse. - same patient has an attitude proplem. - same patient has discipline problem - same patient has to rely on spouse to help him. + One Who Flew over the Cuckoos Nest {hl} - Nurse looks like Nurse Rachett ~ Return of the Pink Panther (or Pink Panther Strikes Back) {ddg} - someone with a straitjacket using his feet as hands + "Swanson's Hungry Man Dinners" - Swanson's Angry Man Dinners + "Dick Tracy", comic strip - Ned is pretending to be both Dick Tracy, and Pruneface "A Clockwork Orange", novel/movie by Stanley Lubrick {jk} - Flanders undergoes a experimental treatment plan that is better than it should have been "Silence of the Lambs", movie {dga} - a cannibalistic mental patient + "The Critic", TV cartoon - Jay "It stinks!" Sherman appears + Martin Lawrence's "You So Crazy" {np} - Homer drops this line to Ned at the end of the episode

Previous episode references

- "Silence of the Lambs" references {hl} - [7F24] Hannibal Lecter is at New Bedlam - [9F10] Burns is restrained like Hannibal Lecter at the trial - [2F04] Bart is restrained like Hannibal Lecter in church - [2F31] Hannibal Lecter auditions for Burns' movie - [4F08] The psychiatrist says that one of the mental patients is a cannibal - How to throw your name in the cartoons you write: {sf} - [8F17] SLH wanders through Swartzwelder County {jh} - [9F16] "How to Get Rich Writing Cartoons" by John Swartzwelder - [4F05] OFF goes to Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill - [4F07] Someone holds a "Free John Swartzwelder" sign - [MG20] Hidding in the basement as a way of avoiding disaster {ljs} - [SC11] Ned acts suspiciously weird {jh} - [7G01], [7F14] Miss Botzokowski, the Babysitter Bandit, appears {ol} - [7F08], [3F11] Homer's golf clubs {mb} - [7F23] Things are stolen from the Leftorium {dn} - [7F24] Homer is stamped "insane" at a mental institution - [7F24] The Flanderses suffer great misfortune - [8F04], [2F07], [3F17] Rubik's Cubes are referenced {jh} - [8F14] Everyone speaks loudly simultaneously at Marge, who responds with "One at a time!" {ol} - [8F14], [2F08] Marge (cf. Ned) has a nervous breakdown {ljs} - [8F16] Homer's poor building skills are demonstrated {ljs} - [8F16], [3F02], [4F01] A Flanders curses {mss} - [9F01] Krusty, Apu and other members of community save one's house {hl} - [9F04] "I'm with Stupid!" {ljs} - [9F18] People overcrowd the Kwik-E-Mart {ljs} - [9F22] OFF's opening theme is spoofed - [1F01] "filled with heady goodness" (cf "...and a cement mixer full of hope and some cement") {mb} - [1F05] Young Ned is shown {sf} - [1F07] Someone drives through a fence/gate {mss} - [1F09] Apu is on the roof of the Kwik-E-Mart with a shotgun - [1F14] Ned's boat (cf. house) is the only one destroyed among others {dn} - [1F15] A Twister nears Springfield {dn} - [1F18] Ned's beatnik parents are seen - [2F05] There is a "killer storm" bearing down on Springfield {sf} - [2F08] Marge developes psychological problems traceable to her father {np} - [2F11] A building on Flanders property winds up rubble - [2F11] Ned offers to protect OFF from an upcoming catastrophe {jh} - [2F31] Jay Sherman appears - [2F02], [3F01] Hall of Records is shown {sf} - [3F02] The ranting man may have been in the room between Ms. Botzkowski and Swartzwelder {ddg} - [3F09] A shirt is folded over, not revealing an entire word {dn} - [3F09] Ned confronts and gets mad at Homer in a similar fashion and voice tone as George Bush {ljs} - [3F19] Del Monte is referenced {jh} - [3F22] Someone other than Bart says "Don't Have a Cow, Man!" {ol} - [4F03] Marge is mistaken for cactus (cf. Lisa for pineapple) {mss}

Freeze frame fun

People seen inside the Kwik-E-Mart: {jh}

   Apu, Brandine, Chief Wiggum, Cletus, Comic Book Guy, Dr. Nick
   Riviera, Edna Krabappel, Frink, Helen Lovejoy, Jasper, Jimbo,
   Kearney, Kent Brockman, Kirk Van Houten, Krusty, Lenny, Lionel Hutz,
   Lisa, Luanne Van Houten, Marge, Maude Flanders, Mayor Quimby, Moe,
   Mrs. Glick, Ms. Hoover, Ralph Wiggum, Rev. Lovejoy, Sanjay, Seymour
   Skinner, Smithers, Snake, Troy McClure.

Church Sign: {bjr}

         First Church of

          GOD  WELCOMES
           HIS VICTIMS

People gathering outside Flanders' rebuilt house: {jh} {sb2}

   Abe, Agnes Skinner (*), Apu (hat, glasses, construction pants),
   Barney (brush -- with purple paint on it), Bart, Captain McAllister,
   Carl, Chalmers, Chief Wiggum (hat, screwdriver, tool belt), Julious
   (hat) and Sylvia (*) Hibbert, Eddie and Lou, Frink, Groundskeeper
   Willy, Hans Moleman (*), Happiest man in Springfield, Helen Lovejoy,
   Homer (hat, hammer, tool belt), Jasper, Kirk & Luanne Van Houten,
   Krusty (hat, tool belt), Lenny (*), Lisa, Marge, Mr. and Mrs. (*)
   Prince, Milhouse (*), Moe (hat, tool belt), Mrs. Glick, Mrs. Wiggum,
   Ms. Hoover, Otto, Patty and Selma, Ruth Powers, Seymour Skinner
   (pencil, hammer), Sideshow Mel.

      (*) Only seen after the house collapses

Mental Hospital Sign:

         C a l m w o o d  [in cursive]



          Sponsored By


           ANGRY MAN

People gathering outside the mental hospital: {jh}

   Kirk, Luanne, and Milhouse Van Houten; Jimbo; Otto; Hans Moleman; Ms.
   Hoover; Grampa; Richard; Apu; Maude, Rod, and Todd Flanders; Captain
   McAllister; Chief Wiggum; Ms. Hoover; Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie
   Simpson; Moe; Janey; Helen Lovejoy; Barney.

Signs when Flanders leaves Calmwood Hospital: {jb}

            Welcome     We [heart]     WELCOME    FLANDY
             Back        Flanders       BACK        is

         W E L C O M E   B A C K      WELCOME        John
                                       BACK      Swartzweld[er]

- Overseas Animation: Akom  {ddg}

Animation, continuity, and other goofs

+ Lisa has never had such a big window platform. {sb2} * An anemometer (wind gauge) against the side of a house is pretty much useless, since it can't measure winds coming from the "house side". {ddg} * Lisa's barometer is dropping far too fast to be working properly; had the pressure dropped one inch in a second, the winds should have been strong enough at that point to blow the entire town of Springfield through the air and drop it on Shelbyville. {ddg} + In 4F01, there was a window on the side of the house; it's not there now. {ddg} * Hurricanes don't suddenly spring up out of nowhere; there should have been plenty of warning that one was coming before Santa's Little Helper was blown away. {ddg} * Despite what Kent Brockman claims, half of all hurricanes are given men's names now. (There was a time that all hurricanes had women's names - the usual reason was "there's no such thing as a HIMicane".) {ddg} + Why is the Kwik-E-Mart Springfield's only source of emergency supplies? What about the MonstroMart? (or that store Marge goes to in the unabridged opening we never see anymore). {ol} + Brandine's hair is white in this episode; it's usually red. {jh} + Why would Homer decline Ned's invitation now? In the past, (especially 2F11) he jumped at the chance to take advantage of the Flanders' better facilities. {sb2} = The tape on Maggie's face disappears once Marge and Lisa arrive from the store. {jh} + Since when did OFF go into the cellar when Grampa visits? (cf. 3F06, others) {jh} + Why didn't OFF stay in their cellar when the comet was about to hit? {dn} * There's no way even a hurricane could tear the roof off of a concrete prison. {np} + The Olmec Head is in the basement, not the cellar. {ol} * The Rubik's Cube has two sides with white centers, which is impossible as each side's center must always be a different color from the other sides' centers. {ddg} = For that matter, the individual pieces change colors while Marge is turning them. {ddg} * Why would people choose to loot the Leftorium over other more practical stores? (What about the Monstro Mart?) {sb2} * Having lived in a church for three years, I can tell you that moonlight would not shine through stained glass. {sf} = Ned's torn up clothes are restored back to normal in the Flanderses next day spent at the rescue center. {ol} = Dr. Foster pulled the second straitjacket and the projector from thin air. {ol} + Flanders is referred to as "never being aggressive towards anyone in his life", but in 1F14, Ned dreams of killing people with a sniper's rifle. {np} + Homer did make Ned crack in [1F14] by whistling through his nose at church. {hl} + If Dr. Foster is correct about Ned's "Diddilies" as a means of suppressing rage, he must get angry at everything in life. For instance, in 3F22 "Summer of 4 ft. 2," Ned literally writes down "diddily" on a note taped onto the front door of the beach house. {ol} + Dr. Foster asks Ned if there's someone who makes him angry, which leads to Homer. Yet later, Ned denies deing angry towards anyone. * If Dr. Foster was asleep at night when he rushes in to treat Ned Flanders, why is the family awake at that time of night? {ol} = I hope Homer has his "Not Insane" certificate on him, because he loses his "SANE" badge. {bjr} + Ned's hating his parents is inconsistent with previous episodes, where he's afraid to unplug the phone because his mother might call, and has Grandma Flanders staying at his house. {sf} * Why does Ned need a ride in Marge's car when he has his own car? (It wasn't destroyed in the hurricane, otherwise, he couldn't have drove himself to the Mental Hospital) {ol}


Dale G. Abersold: A fun portrait of our favorite Christian optimist (with remarkable continuity). Unlike some episodes, the in-jokes were not obvious and tacked-on. The last act was a little slow, but overall, a worthy effort. (A-) Jared Betnar: I really enjoyed this episode. I found myself laughing out loud quite a few times. "Ralph the Pumpkin" was great, along with the comment Lisa makes that the Hall of Records "was mysteriously blown away", and just about anything with Flanders' rebuilt house was hilarious. And who wouldn't love "Evil Little Neddy"? And the writers even managed to fight in an interesting story that mostly revolved around a secondary character. But the ending was kind of disappointing, I felt like there should have been more. (B+) Stephane Bonneville: This episode was great! The hilarious return of Ned's beatnik parents and flashbacks of little Ned were what made this show great, but seeing the true idiocy of many of the Springfieldians also had me laughing through most of this episode. The only disappointment was the ending, which I felt fell a bit flat. (A) James R. Curry: Well, this season really is to date much better than last years. It was good to see Jay Sherman re-appear breifly, I miss "The Critic". Ned's background? Er, I'm not sure. He HAS expressed anger before, and he doesn't just break into diddily-doodily speak when he's upset. Oh well, the first half was great, and the second half was quite good. (B) Steve Frayne: This episode had a great setup in Ned losing everything, but had a complete and total plot shift after he enters the mental hospital. It's almost like they forgot that he lacked a house, and he had no business. I wish those original problems had been solved. Nevertheless, I'm betting the Flanders house is back in action next week. This wasn't a tremendously funny episode, but it had a few moments like "Hurricane Chow" and the "Load-bearing poster". Without a doubt, the best part was when Homer was able to cure Flander's psychological problem better than the professionals. First two acts were great, but including the last one it gets a C-. Don Del Grande: This one was a roller coaster: the hurricane (good), Ned's reaction (not so good), the new house and Ned's ranting (good), Ned and Homer in the asylum (not so good). Ned would probably say it was "fine" - after winking his left eye. (B) Jason Hancock: OK, this episode had its moments. But it had too many things that just didn't make sense to me, like the bowling alley ending up on top of a mountain and Ned being spanked for eight months straight. I can't say I hated this one, but I didn't think it was one of their best efforts either. (C) Tony Hill: It's a waste of time to make an episode centering on a minor character. This format necessitates too many Simpson-less scenes. Also, the Ned-talk resulting from therapy is inconsistent with "Lisa the Vegetarian" in which the clan talked like Ned. The slam at my alma mater didn't help. (C-) Joe Klemm: This is the best episode after two weeks of bombs. I loved the hurricane jokes. Ralph as a pumpkin is another great scene featuring him. Let the nuttiness continue. (A) Ondre Lombard: Overall, a mediocre installment that had a few exciting moments and good jokes. Ned's breakdown made for the only classic moment in this story, and act 3 pretty much slammed into a wall of mediocrity, saved only by Homer's "intercourse" line. Not too much of Our Favorite Family, but of what we saw, no one was grossly out of character (especially Marge and Lisa, who have been written really badly this year). (B-) David Ney: I really thought this was a good episdode. Again, not up to 4th, 5th, and 6th season standards, but that's what I've come to expect. For an 8th season episode, it was very good. I loved some of the gags, including the convict hitting th power lines, the flying bowling alley, and Ned's secret destructive side of his childhood. I was happy to see Ned's cool beatnick parents once again. (B+) Nathan Patrin: Oh man. I waited two weeks for this? The prospect of Ned Flanders going mental seemed way more laden with potential than what we wound up with. The freaked-out rebuilt Flanders house was pretty cool (toilet in the kitchen!), and the Jay Sherman cameo was startling enough to be amusing, but... man, did that ever feel hodgepodge. Ned Having a Major Crisis (see: When Flanders Failed) rarely winds up that humorous, which is why Hurricane Neddy... well, blew. (D+) Werner Peeters: Everything before and during the storm was hilarious (the crowd at the Kwik-E-Mart, Homer going out when their house is in the centre of the tornado, etc.) The joke about the re-built house lasted a bit too long, but when Flanders ended up in the mental hospital we've had about the best of the episode. The third act, Ned talking about his childhood, was so way-off that it kinda spoiled the storyline; the "mental jump" from the house wreckage to Ned's unhappy youth was too far-fetched. (C+) Benjamin Jay Robinson: A fine premise, but the execution is only two-thirds of the way there. In particular, the lack of change in Ned's demeanor at the show's end makes the third act seem emotionally flat. Also, the recent trend toward finding surprising things about the secondary characters is carried too far here. Good sequences in the third first two acts (like the house tour, and Ned's meltdown) raise this to the B- level. Andrius Schmid: Somewhat of a disappointment. On one hand, it was a without a doubt a Ned Flanders showcase, and therefore wonderful. However, I expected a God vs. Job parody and instead got an episode who's first half seemed to be an exaggerated lead-in for a few flash-back sequences. Except for a great ranting sequence by Ned, this episode was flat. (B-) Nelson Seggley: This episode was curiously unsatisfying. It had the sophistication and cross-references that I love, but there was hardly a thing I laughed at. Coming off three great episodes, I had hoped this would be funny AND intelligent. It was interesting to watch purely for character reasons. But so much dead laughing time was deplorable. Several obvious gags fell flat. I wish the writers had tried harder. (C) Vishal Sharma: In all honesty, I have to say this is the second great episode of Season 8, proving that the ol' Simpsons magic hasn't been lost. The hurricane bit was bizarre, and a bit offbeat, but Ned Flanders breaking down has been long over-due and this episode handled it exceptionally well. Overall, a nicely animated, extremely entertaining and quite touching Simpsons episode. One of the most memorable moments of this episode has to be the Jon Lovitz cameo in the mental hospital. That alone had me laughing all through the following night and day... (A) Marge Starbrod-Simpson: Not as good as last week's, but okay. The couch gag was funny, and there were plenty of good jokes. However, something was lacking in the storyline, and the ep went way too fast. Act III could've been better. (B-) Yours Truly: Some good lines here and there, but the episode was slowed down by Ned's "misery", to which we were supposed to feel sad, and his "behavior", which we were supposed to believe. Both fell flat to me. Of course, mangling his character like this didn't help. To me, it looked like an apology for all the stabs taken to religion. ("Look, it had nothing to do with Christianity all along!") All in all, a sour aftertaste. (C) AVERAGE GRADE: B- (2.66) NIELSEN RATING: 8.7 (ranked 18th out of 103) {ol}

Comments and other observations

When Hurricanes Attack

Benjamin Jay Robinson delivers some relevant observations on hurricanes:

   Nowadays, thanks to sophisticated tracking methods, hurricane- prone
   areas have at least one day's warning before a storm strike, and
   often closer to three.  These giant storms have been known to make
   last-minute shifts in direction, but the chances of getting caught
   unaware are very slim.

   Hurricanes are named in alphabetical order.  That is, "Amos" would
   occur before "Stella".  (By the way, they've been alternating boy and
   girl names since 1979 or so.)  A hurricane Barbara would most likely
   occur early in the season.  Ironically, the United States' real
   hurricane season ended about a month before this episode aired.

   The basement is not the best place to ride out a hurricane.  Most
   storm fatalities result from flooding, not high winds.  Hiding in the
   cellar, Our Favorite Family was actually in danger of drowning.
   Flanders, on the other hand, offers some good advice -- bring loose
   objects indoors, before the wind turns them into makeshift missiles.

   A small tornado picked up Homer.  This makes sense, actually, since
   hurricanes spawn tornadoes.  Flanders' localized damage looks like
   the result of a tornado hit.

   The "Where is Springfield" crowd might be interested to know that, in
   the United States, hurricanes are most likely to make landfall on the
   East Coast (especially between Florida and North Carolina). The Gulf
   Coast (Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida again) is
   also frequently hit.  Also, there is a Springfield, Florida.  It's in
   the panhandle, near Pensacola, and may be vulnerable to a hurricane
   passing through the Gulf of Mexico.

Aaron Varhola:  "Lisa" is in the name lineup for Atlantic hurricanes for
   1998. Lisa has not been used in the Atlantic; there was a weak
   tropical cyclone named Lisa this past fall that hit the Phillipines
   and China, I think.

Live forever... as a hurricane

Tom Restivo forwards us this Reuter article:

   MIAMI, May 26 (Reuter) - Exhausted forecasters at the National
   Hurricane Centre wondered whether they would use up their
   alphabetized list of storm names in 1995, as 19 tropical storms and
   hurricanes churned through the Caribbean Sea and Atlantic Ocean.

   If they had run out of the list of 21 names -- the letters Q, U, X, Y
   and Z are not used -- forecasters would have had to use for the first
   time a backup plan of naming storms for the letters of the Greek

   The season went further into the alphabet than any other, but it
   slowed down from its nonstop pace in July, August and September.
   Hurricane Tanya, which faded November 1 without making landfall,
   would be the last of the season, leaving the names Van and Wendy the
   only two unclaimed.

   This year, forecasters hope they will not run that far into this
   list: Arthur, Bertha, Cesar, Dolly, Edouard, Fran, Gustav, Hortense,
   Isidore, Josephine, Kyle, Lili, Marco, Nana, Omar, Paloma, Rene,
   Sally, Teddy, Vicky and Wilfred.

   Hurricanes in the West Indies have had informal names for several
   hundred years, as many of the worst were named after the saint's day
   on which the hurricane occurred. For example, Hurricane Santa Ana
   struck Puerto Rico with exceptional violence July 26, 1985.

   The United States adopted its first organised storm naming system in
   1950, for three years naming storms after the phonetic alphabet --
   Abel, Baker, Charlie, etc. In 1953, the U.S. Weather Service began
   using women's names for storms.

   Men's names were added to the list for the Atlantic, Caribbean and
   Gulf of Mexico for the first time in 1979. Forecasters try to use
   short, easily remembered names that reflect the culture of the places
   hurricanes affect.

   The U.S. National Weather Service's National Hurricane Centre assigns
   a name to a storm when sustained winds reach tropical storm strength
   of 39 mph (63 kph). The centre keeps six annual lists of names, used
   in turn, but retires the name of the biggest storms to minimise
   confusion later.

   For example, there will never be another Hurricane Andrew.

   Names for the lists are selected from library sources and agreed upon
   by nations involved during international meetings of the World
   Meteorological Organisation.

   The Atlantic Hurricane Season lasts from June 1 to Nov. 30.

Tom's addendum:

   Hurricanes for the Atlantic Basin are retired by the Region 4
   Hurricane Committe of WMO.

   Barbara would probably join Betsy (1965), Beulah (1967), and Bob
   (1991) in the "retired" name set. However, in the "Where is
   Springfield?" saga, Homer mentioned "back east", thus causing the
   focus of Springfield's location to be near the Pacific.

   Have they retired names for Pacific Hurricanes?

   -> More background info can be found at <http://www.megatropic.com>

Tacoma Narrows Bridge Collapse

James Fraleigh:  In the opening act, Homer is being blown around in his
   hammock in a manner very similar to the way the above bridge was
   twisting before its collpase. The bridge was a suspension-style span
   constructed across a river valley (in Washington State?) that
   featured powerful and frequent wind gusts. These were not taken fully
   into account by the engineers who designed the bridge, though. The
   winds apparently caused the bridge to vibrate and eventually twist
   along its long axis. The way Homer was going (head one way, feet the
   other) was how the ENTIRE bridge was warping. Eventually the bridge
   shredded itself and collapsed.

   [nicknamed "Galloping Gertie", this 2800-feet-long bridge was the
   longest and most expensive suspended bridge to ever collapse --ed]

The latest public show

Ondre Lombard:  When the convict is about to be executed during the
   thunderstorm, I noticed there were people witnessing the impending
   execution.  It reminded me of a show on Oprah that I never saw, but
   asked people if victims of crime would want to see the criminal be
   executed.  Call it far-fetched, but this seemed like a slight
   reference to this.

   [Actually, Phil Donahue once wanted to broadcast an execution. Of
   course, no judge would be as silly to grant him this right --ed]

Twist your head 180 degrees clockwise

Joe Klemm:  Rubik's Cube is a popular game in the 80's. The object was
   to make it so the cube will have six areas in which the nine cubes in
   each area is the same color. The fad spun off some other projects
   including a game in which you try to make a pattern a la Rubik's cube
   and a cartoon made by Ruby-Spears.

But it goes with my Marilyn Manson jacket!

Nathan Patrin:  The Butthole Surfers: Rod's second-hand shirt features
   the name of the most whacked-out rock group to ever come from Texas.
   Led by Gibby Haynes, the Butthole Surfers have been around more or
   less since 1982 or so and have been on Alternative Tentacles and SST
   records before being signed to the majors, having an album produced
   by Led Zeppelin's John Paul Jones entitled "Independent Worm Saloon"
   and having a huge college radio hit with the Beck-ish "Pepper" from
   their "Electric Larryland" album. They sound a lot like what would
   happen if Captain Beefheart and Jello Biafra started a bar band. Not
   exactly Flanders material...

Benjamin Jay Robinson:  Butthole Surfers were an alternative band back
   when "alternative" was another term for "unheard of".  As their name
   suggests, they're light years away from being a Flanders-friendly
   type of band.

That's diddily outrageous!

Some comments about Ned's "explained" behavior:

Sean Murdock:  To further complicate the problems created by "Hurricane
   Neddy", if you saw tonight's repeat ("Dead Putting Society"), you can
   see a Ned Flanders who is entirely capable of expressing not only
   anger ("You jackaninny!!") but other "lesser" emotions such as
   pettiness ("look, SIMP-son...") and competitiveness ("Mercy is for
   the weak, Todd!"). Although this isn't "typical Ned" behavior, it
   seems logical that even a good, normal, non-scientifically-
   programmed adult would react the way he did to Homer's goading. (If
   you want to really nitpick, this ep also shows Ned engaging in a
   bet -- this from a man who wouldn't buy insurance because he felt it
   was a form of gambling.) Now, however, we are asked to believe that
   Ned is merely a robitically "nice" person until he finally erupts --
   kinda shaves away some of the dimension of the character, doesn't it?
   I mean, it's like concentrating on nothing but Homer's stupidity, and
   discarding the minor fact that underneath it all, he loves his
   family. These characters are already two-dimensional; must they be
   made one-dimensional??

Benjamin J. Robinson:  Lately, there has been a controversial trend in
   focusing on secondary characters, and digging surprising skeletons
   out of their closets.  In the past, I have not had a problem with
   this, but after watching "Hurricane Neddy," I can understand the
   others' objections.  Ned Flanders isn't like Troy McClure or Kirk Van
   Houten, whom we previously knew little about.  He's popped up quite a
   bit in Homer's life, and it doesn't seem fair to so radically
   reinterpret his character.  I can accept Ned's repressing a store of
   anger, but to make him a walking time bomb is carrying things too

Ondre Lombard:  I am not all that pleased with these controversial
   trends of giving pasts to secondary characters.  Lately, this series
   is a lot less like The Simpsons and more like "The Simpsons help us
   learn something knew about a character you couldn't care less about."

   Throughout most of the season, all of this has merely resulted in
   either underuse of characters like Maggie and Bart, or poor
   characterization on characters like Marge and Lisa.  Marge for the
   most part has been nothing but a nag and Lisa seems to be like some
   type of boring nerd who is allergic to things we never saw her
   allergic to.  And all this just so we can deal with secondary
   characters.  IMO, I think the writers haven't a clue how to handle
   the main characters we care about so they've decided to write stories
   about the other characters who, even if they lapse out of character,
   we won't be flabbergasted by the outcome.

   I am scared to death that the 8th season will just turn into the
   "Lets Change Characters" year, because that's just the direction
   Hurricane Neddy sets the show in.  Next thing you know we'll see
   Comic Book Guy's past as a parttime Superhero busting Colombian drug

Those Immortal Threads

Where is Springfield?

Don Del Grande:  It's somewhere where a hurricane can hit, which pretty
   much rules out most of the western USA (except for the California
   coast from Los Angeles south).

Gregg Ulrich:  Having lived on both the East and West coast, I've never
   seen Mallowmars (my favourite cookie BTW) on the West coast.  I
   always get my Mom to send me some ;-).

Loose Ends

Cultural winds

Don Del Grande:  For people in Australia, a "hurricane" is what North
   Americans call a typhoon/tropical cyclone.  (For that matter,
   pressure of 29 inches is about 737 mm of mercury.)
      [or 98.2 kPa --ed]

Head over heels

Steve Frayne:  Lisa could have been killed by being picked up by the
   head.  [How long till someone sues the show for this? --ed]

No gambling and no debts make Ned a dull boy

Steve Frayne:  The Flanderses must own the home outright, because a
   mortgagee would require homowners' insurance.

Aloha Oe

Steve Frayne:  "Aloha Oe" is a traditional Hawaiian song.  It was
   supposedly written by Queen Liliokelani.


Don Del Grande:  Gene Krupa is probably best known as being the drummer
   in the Benny Goodman Quartet.  (Okay, who asked "Who's Benny

Quotes and Scene Summary {ol}

Homer's lazily taking a mid-afternoon nap in the hammock out on the lawn. In his sleep, Homer puckers in an attempt to catch his lips onto the straw inside his lemonade glass sitting on his chest. Winds begin to pick up. Conveniently, Lisa is reading a book about whether when she notices the strong winds outside her window. Outside Lisa's window is an anemometer, a barometer, a hygrometer and other assorted weather devices. Lisa looks at what they forecast. Lisa: Hmm. Pressure dropping, humidity rising over eighty percent, increasing wind? [consults "How, Why, and Huh? Book of Weather"] Here we are -- chapter two: "So Your Pressure Is Dropping." -- "Hurricane Neddy" Lisa gasps, learning that these are indications of a hurricane. She goes to warn Homer, who is being violently rocked in his hammock as the wind begins to increase. Homer: Oh Lisa! There's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield. Lisa: Yes, but the records only go back to 1978 when the Hall of Records was mysteriously blown away. -- "Hurricane Neddy" Santa's Little Helper struggles to move forward against the wind. What is it, boy? Fire? Earthquake? Hippies? -- Homer reveals mankind's greatest threats, The wind overpowers SLH and blows him backwards into the air. Homer finally realizes this is a hurricane, musing that "Somehow, the animals are always the first to know." The family watches news reports about the impending hurricane. Kent: ...and the weather service has warned us to brace ourselves for the onslaught of Hurricane Barbara. And if you think naming a destructive storm after a woman is sexist, you obviously have never seen the gals grabbing for items at a clearance sale. Marge: [growls] That's true... but he shouldn't say it. -- "Hurricane Neddy" Lisa suggests to pick up supplies. At the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu stands atop the store before the crowd of people. Apu: Stand behind the flaming garbage cans. We'll be letting you into the store, seventy people at a time. Kirk: Oh, let's just beat him up and take his stuff! Apu: No no no, do not listen to that man. Remain calm. You will all have a chance to be gouged. [the crowd murmurs in approval] -- Hurricanes make for excellent extortion opportunities, "Hurricane Neddy" Sanjay allows for dozens of panicked Springfieldians to enter the store. Within seconds, they begin clearing the shelves of products. Kearney looks around nervously while stealing an emergency supply of squishees. Unfortunately, the mob has left Marge and Lisa with few items left other than "Creamed Eels," "Corn Nog" and "Wadded Beef." Lisa: Mom, let's just grab what we can and get out of here! This storm is making people crazy. [two old hands feel around Lisa's spikey hair] Mrs. Glick: The last pineapple! And plenty ripe, too! [picks up Lisa and puts her in a cart] Lisa: But I'm not fruit! I'm a kid! Mrs. Glick: That's what the pumpkin said. Ralph: Hi, Lisa. We're going to be in a pie! -- The legend of Hansel and Gretel lives on, "Hurricane Neddy" Everyone from the Retirement Castle is being evacuated by the National Guard except stubborn Grampa. Evacuator: Sir, for your own safety, we do advise you to evacuate. Grampa: I ain't leaving! I was born in this nursing home, and I'll die in this nursing home. Evacuator: Is there any chance of you changing your mind? Grampa: Sure, let's go. -- "Hurricane Neddy" Back at the Simpsons', Bart is securing Maggie's pacifier in her mouth by wrapping her mouth up in black tape. Meanwhile, Homer is nailing the backdoor onto the wall outside when Ned, in a raincoat, spots him. Ned: Need some help there? You know, maybe you folks should come over and punker in our bunker. [Ned's house is covered with tints] Oh, it'll be fun! We're gonna go through our old cancelled checks and receipts and give ourselves an audit. Make sure we don't owe anything extra. -- Who needs the IRS when we have Ned Flanders?, "Hurricane Neddy" Homer: Oh, I'm sure I'd be a third wheel. Ned: Ho ho, no sir-ee, we'd be happy as heads to ha... Homer: [sternly] I would make it my business to be a third wheel. Ned: Okily dokily. Oooh, I better go take down the Manger scene. If baby Jesus got loose, it could really do some damage. -- Simple hazards for the Flanderses, "Hurricane Neddy" Marge and Lisa have arrived home from the Kwik-E-Mart with groceries. "Okay, it's the standard Grampa drill. Everybody into the cellar," decrees Homer. The family goes down the cellar. We see an opening which is similar to "The Simpsons," except "The Hurricane" is sung out, and those words appear on the screen with grey clouds behind it. The letters in the words "The Hurricane" are blown away by the wind. The wind blows away a car parked next to an abandoned building. At the state prison, a convict is about to die in the electric chair. Just as the Warden is about to flip the switch, the hurricane blows off the roof of the prison and the wind picks up the convict into the air. "So long, suckers!" he taunts. The people watching the execution let out a disappointed "Aww..." However, the convict's escape is brief -- as his back hits telephone poll wires, electrocuting him. The people cheer. The hurricane isn't doing much to the Simpsons' house but causing the window shutters to flap back and forth. Marge looks through the cellar window worriedly. Marge: Why don't we do something to take our minds off the storm? [looks through a box] Oooh, a Rubik's Cube! Let's all work it together. Lisa: Okay, start with diagonal colors. [Marge turns the cube] Homer: Use your main finger on the yellow side and your other finger on the orange side and turn it. Marge: My main finger? [the family begins to start all talking at the same time] Bart: [simultaneously] Orange to orange!... Lisa: [simultaneously] Now you have to turn it back, Mom... Homer: [simultaneously] You gotta start backwards! Bart: [simultaneously] Mom, Mom! Lisa: [simultaneously] No, not so fast! No, ignore the red! Bart: [simultaneously] No, no, no! Homer: [simultaneously] Alternate corners! Marge: One at a time! Bart: Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise! Marge: Now I remember why I put this down here in the first place! -- Hurricanes bring loving family togetherness, "Hurricane Neddy" The cellar light begins to fade on and off, as the electricity is affected by the hurricane. At the harmonica shop, the hurricane wind is causing all the harmonicas to play (harmoniously, at that). At the harpsicord shop, however, the hurricane succeeds only in making harpsicords shoot out the windows. The storm dies down, and Homer thinks it's okay to go out, but it might only the eye of the storm, warns Lisa. Homer goes out anyway, assured that the eerie calmness indicates that it's over. The Bowl-a-rama floats by in the air. Hmm. I don't remember a bowling alley being th... -- The unspoken warning of disasters, "Hurricane Neddy" Homer tries to dive back into the cellar, but a whirlpool of wind pulls Homer higher into the air. Lisa tries to pull him down but nearly drifts up with him. Bart and Marge try to get them back down again, forming a chain which wobbles to the whirlpool. They finally pull themselves free and fall back into the cellar. The whirlpool disappears, and the storm's power is rekindled. Marge goes to a box to pray. Marge: Dear God, this is Marge Simpson. If you stop this hurricane and save our family, we will be forever grateful -- and recommend you to all our friends! So, if you could find it in your infinite wisdom to... Lisa: Wait! Listen, everybody. [sunlight shines and birds chip] Lisa: The hurricane's over. Homer: He fell for it! Way to go, Marge! -- Don't think God didn't hear that, Homer, "Hurricane Neddy" The family gets out the cellar and see their house appear completely intact. "It just goes to show you that everything will work out if you have faith." remarks Marge. Ironically, things aren't so bright for Ned, who, donning torned clothes, walks atop the humungous pile of wood that once belonged to his now destroyed house. [End of Act One. Time: 5:51] Lisa and Marge visit Ned's destroyed home. Ned: Maude? Rod? Todd? Todd: [upside down; lying on the rubble] I'm right here, Daddy. Maude: Oh Neddy, it was terrifying. I thought I was headed for the eternal bliss of paradise. -- And this is a bad thing?, "Hurricane Neddy" Todd: Oh my gosh! Look at Rod! Rod: [stuck horizontally inside a tree] I have a headache. [Ned pulls him out] Ned: Well, sir, everyone's alive. Guess that's something to be thankful for. Homer: Now, that kind of attitude's not gonna get your house back. -- Yes, only wallowing in self-pity can attain that, "Hurricane Neddy" Marge: I'm sure your insurance will cover the house. Maude: Uh, well, no. Neddy doesn't believe in insurance. He considers it a form of gambling. Ned: You know it's kind of funny. The only thing that survived the storm were the family tombstones. [said tombstones are named Ned, Maude, Rod and Todd] They're all we have left. Homer: Welp, call us if you need anything! -- Like a house..., "Hurricane Neddy" The Flanderses are the only ones staying at the church's rescue center, where Rod and Todd sport their hand-out shirts. Todd: We got new clothes from the donation bin! [wearing a Butthole Surfers shirt] I'm a surfer! [Rod wears a t-shirt with "I'm With Stupid" on it and a pointed finger] Rod: Look, Daddy, Todd is stupid and I'm with him. [walks to Maude] And now Mommy's stupid! [chuckles] -- T-shirts help us play!, "Hurricane Neddy" Maude: Neddy, I know this has been a terrible day. But, by golly, first thing tomorrow morning, we're going to open up the Leftorium, and before you know it, we'll be back on our feet. Kent: [on TV] Down here at Springfield Mall, a storm-[?] crowd appeared to have turned its rage... on the Leftorium. Surprisingly, people are grabbing things with both hands, suggesting it's not just south-paws in this rampaging mob. [Ned sighs] Kent: [to looter] Try looking in the back. -- Kent Brockman's ever-so-important little tidbits, "Hurricane Neddy" Kent: Meantime, Springfield bowlers will be happy to hear that the Bowl-a-rama is back in business at its new location teetering over the Carter-Nixon tunnel. [a strike is bowled in the Bowl-a-Rama] -- At least Barney still has a job, "Hurricane Neddy" Ned goes to Rev. Lovejoy. Ned: Rev. Lovejoy, with all that's happened to us today, I kinda feel like Job. Lovejoy: Well, aren't you being a tad melodramatic, uh, Ned? Also, I believe Job was right-handed. Ned: But Reverend, I need to know, is God punishing me? Lovejoy: Shooh, short answer: "Yes" with an "If," long answer: "No" -- with a "But." Uh, if you need additional solace, by the way, I've got a copy of something or other by Art Linkletter in my office. -- Jesus' 13th disciple: Art Linkletter, "Hurricane Neddy" At night, everyone is asleep on the rescue center cots, except Ned, who gets out of bed and walks up to the podium in the church. He turns to the good book for advice, but only manages to cut himself on the edges. Why me, Lord? Where have I gone wrong? I've always been nice to people. I don't drink or dance or swear. I've even kept Kosher just to be on the safe side. I've done everything the bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. -- The sounds of Ned's shaken faith, "Hurricane Neddy" The next morning at the rescue center, Marge opens the door with news. Marge: Ned, Maude! You've got to go back to your house. Something incredible has happened. Ned: Oh what happened now? Did the rubble burn down? -- Pessimism becomes you, Ned, "Hurricane Neddy" Marge drives the family back to their neighborhood. Ned sees the entire town standing in front of Ned's re-erected house. Everybody cheers as the Flanderses get out of the car. Homer: [in hard-hat and toolbelt] Hope you like it, neighbor. We didn't have the best tools or all the know-how, but we did have a wheel-barrel full of love! Apu: And a cement-mixer full of hope and some cement. -- Yeah, that'd do it, "Hurricane Neddy" Ned: I don't know how I can possibly repay you! But if any of you ever need a favor, just look for the happiest man in Springfield! [pan over to a spunky man with a perpetual smile on his face in suspenders and a red bowtie] Guy: No no! Not me, friends. He's talking about himself. But thanks for looking! -- "Hurricane Neddy" Ned decides now to go into his house. He has a little trouble getting through the door but manages to get in. The crowd cheers. Homer takes Ned into his living room. Ned: [gets sweater caught in a nail] Ooh, looks like a loose nail. Homer: Yeah, one out of twenty five ain't bad! [hammers in a nail] -- "Hurricane Neddy" Homer shows Ned his kitchen, which is "just as you remember it" -- except for one tiny modification: a toilet next to the refrigerator. Ned: Was that, uh, was that toilet always next to the refrigerator? Wiggum: Uh, Ned, you ever try lugging a toilet up a flight of stairs? -- Toilets and Refrigerators, together at last, "Hurricane Neddy" Rod and Todd's room were designed by Bart and Lisa, replete with a carpet that doesn't completely cover the floor, a crack in a wall, a slanted door frame and a "Krusty the Clown" poster. Rod: [taking down poster] I don't like this clown! Bart: Ah, I wouldn't take it down if I were you. It's a load-bearing poster. [a crack ripples through the upper wall and up to the ceiling] -- "Hurricane Neddy" Homer, Apu and Ned walk alongside the uneven walls and five to six sided doorways. Static makes Ned's hair stand up and his moustache hair stick out. The static is coming from the room filled with electricity. Apu: This is the room with electricity. But it has too much electricity. So, I don't know, you might want to wear a hat. Ned: Uh-huh. [walks further down the hallway] Floor feels a little gritty here. Moe: Yeah we ran out of floorboards there, so we painted the dirt. Pretty clever! -- Fallback plans from the "Half-Assed Approach to House Erection," "Hurricane Neddy" The hallway starts to become extremely narrow and small. Ned: Oh, something is definitely wrong with this hallway. [opens a 4-inch-tall door] Barney: Come on in! It's your master bedroom! [Ned shuts the dollhouse-sized door] Ow! My nose! Ned: Well, I've seen about enough. -- "Hurricane Neddy" Outside, Homer concludes the tour: "So, Flanders, what do you think of the house that love built?" He pats the front door, which falls inside the house, causing the second story to cave in. Finally, the top story collapses, and the house is back to where it started from. "Aw shoot!" is his response, scratching his head to find out what went wrong. Ned walks away from the demolished "house" and begins to buff his glasses. The right lens falls out, and Ned lets out a groan and puts on his glasses. Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be nice, hostidididildilidilly ah HELL diddily ding dong crap! Can't you morons do anything RIGHT!? [shocked gasps] Marge: Ned! We meant well, and everyone here tried their best. Ned: Well my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge! Oh, your family's out of control, but we can't blame you, because you have gooooooooood intentions! Bart: Hey! Back off, man! Ned: Ooh okay, duuuuude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, maaaan! Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years: "Hey, Buddy, got a quarter?" [everyone gasps] Bart: I am shocked and appalled. Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything. Ned: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson! Springfield's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED! [Wiggum laughs] What do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law! The last case you got to the bottom of was a case of mallowmars!! Krusty: [writing it down] Mallowmars, oh that's going in the act! Ned: Oh, yeah. The clown, the only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh! [to Lenny] And as for you, I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk! Lenny: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on? Ned: [to Moe] You ugly, hate-filled man! Moe: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was the third thing you said? [everyone backs away as Ned marches after Homer lastly] Ned: Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met. Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy. -- "Hurricane Neddy" After concluding his nervous breakdown, Ned walks away in front of the shocked crowd, gets into his car and drives away. Once far enough from all this, he turns on the radio, calmly humming to Aloha Oe. Reaching his destination, he signals right, and drives through the gates of the Calmwood Mental Hospital. [End of Act Two. Time: 13:42] Ned: I just attacked all my friends and neighbors just for trying to help me. I'd like to commit myself. Nurse: Very well. Shall I show you to your room, or would you prefer to be dragged off kicking and screaming? Ned: Ooh, kicking and screaming, please. Nurse: As you wish. [two men in white grab hold of him and drag him away] Ned: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! -- "Hurricane Neddy" A nurse stops by a padded cell, and is shocked to see Ned's name on the door. She quickly makes a phone call. Dr. Foster: Yes, Dr. Foster here. ... Ned Flanders? You're sure? ... No, no, no, I'll come right over. And may God have mercy on us all. [hangs up] Darling, there's an emergency at the hospital, uh, where are my shoes? Mrs. Foster: [sleepily] I think they're in the den. Dr. Foster: The den? May God have mercy on us all. -- "Hurricane Neddy" Dr. Foster visits Ned in his room. Dr. Foster: Well, how are you feeling this evening? Ned: Uh, actually, I'm a little chilly. Can I have another strait jacket? -- "Hurricane Neddy" Ned recognizes Dr. Foster, who treated him thirty years ago. However, he does not remember the darkest moments of that era. Dr. Foster turns out the light and sets up a projector. The Juvenile Aggression Study (sponsored by Swanson's TV Dinners) depicts Ned as he really was: a mischeivous, destructive troublemaker who insults his fellow playmates in preschool and hassles them. Little Ned: [barging in] Whee! I'm Dick Tracy! [hitting the other kids] Bang! Take that Pruneface! Now I'm Pruneface, take that Dick Tracy! Now I'm Prune Tracy, take that Dick... Dr. Foster: Hey! Stop it at once! -- "Hurricane Neddy" Dr. Foster narrates how Ned's beatnik parents met with Dr. Foster about their son. At their meeting, Neddy was smashing up Foster's diplomas. Get down from that bookshelf, please. Most of those books haven't been discredited yet! -- Dr. Foster, "Hurricane Neddy" Dr. Foster: Would you please tell your son to stop? Ned's Dad: We can't do it, man! That's discipline! That's like tellin' Gene Krupa not to go [starts banging on the desk] "boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom boom bam ba ba ba ba, da boo boo tss!" -- "Hurricane Neddy" Ned's Dad: We don't believe in rules, like, we gave them up when we started livin' like freaky beatniks! Dr. Foster: You don't believe in rules, yet you want to control Ned's anger. Ned's Mom: Yeah. You gotta help us, Doc. We've tried nothin' and we're all out of ideas. -- Oh the pain and suffering from doing nothing, "Hurricane Neddy" Dr. Foster decided to put Ned on the "University of Minnesota Spankological Protocol", which is nothing less than straight spanking for eight months in line. As time passes, Dr. Foster's attire changes to suit the current occasion and season -- while still spanking Little Ned. He changes into: a sweater (reading while spanking) during the Autumn, a Santa Suit during the Winter, a sportsshirt and party hat for Ned's birthday (Little Ned opens a birthday present), a summer shirt and shorts during the Summer, and finally back into his coat. At the end, the treatment worked too well, making Ned unable to express anger by flooding it under waves of "nonsensical jabbering." Dr. Foster decides to delve into the heart of the problem, requiring someone who can upset Ned. Of course, Homer is called. Homer: Yello? ... Yes? ... Mental hospital? ... Well I don't know any Ned Flanders. Marge: The man who lived next door until his house blew down? Homer: Oh, him! -- How soon we forget, "Hurricane Neddy" The family, wearing "Sane" tags, visits Ned at the mental hospital. You folks are free to roam the grounds. Uh, just remember, one of our patients is a cannibal. Try to guess which one! I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. -- What do we win if we get eaten?, "Hurricane Neddy" The family tours the mental hospital, waking by cells of Lucille Botzcowski, a paranoiac patient, and a well-known face. Jay Sherman: [to Doctor] It stinks! It stinks! It stinks! Doctor: Yes, Mr. Sherman. Everything stinks. -- One too many Pauly Shore movies for one man to take, "Hurricane Neddy" Dr. Foster leaves Ned in a booth by himself, the other reserved for someone needed to be so irritating that Ned will not be able to repress his anger. Homer is obnoxiously blowing a bubble of bubble gum in Dr. Foster's face. "Homer, can you be that annoying?" The bubble explodes and gum is all over Foster's face, proving he can be. Dr. Foster, joined by another doctor, sit behind a two-way mirror, observing Homer's interaction with Ned. The sliding partition reveals Homer to Ned. Homer emotionlessly says what is written in his speech cards. Homer: Ned Flanders, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish to the eyes of others. Ned: Well howdy, Homer! [partition slides up] Ooh, thanks for dropping by! Foster: Hmm. He's not responding. [into microphone] Proceed to level 2 antagonism. [slides down partition] Homer: Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent. Ned: Oh, well, I'll just have to try harder. Heh heh. [partition slides up] Ooh! Thanks for dropping by! Foster: Ah, he's still repressing. [into microphone] Maximum hostility factor. [slide down partition] Homer: I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. Now that's psychiatry! Eh? Eh? -- Freud would be proud, "Hurricane Neddy" Ned thinks it's a joke, and Homer throws in the towel. Homer: [directly towards mirror] Aw that's it, you just can't insult this guy. You call him a moron and he just sits there, grinning moronly. Ned: [to mirror] Hi, neighbor! Homer: You know what your problem is, Flanders? You're afraid to be human. Ned: Ho ho, now why would I be afraid of that? Homer: Because humans are obnoxious, sometimes. Humans hate things. Ned: Well, maybe a few of them do... back East. Foster: I can't find what Homer's saying. Did you write that? Doctor: Um, did you like it? -- At least this is more effective, "Hurricane Neddy" Homer: Come on, Flanders, there's gotta be something you hate. What about mosquito bites? Ned: Mmm mmm! Sure are fun to scratch! Mmm! Satisfying! Homer: What about, uhhhhh, florescent lights? Ned: Oooh, they hum like angels! You're never lonely if you've got a florescent light! -- Oh, I give up, "Hurricane Neddy" Homer is about to give up, but Ned admits he doesn't like everything. Ned: I don't like the service at the post office. You know, it's all "rush rush! get'cha in, get'cha out!" Then they've got those machines in the lobby, they're even faster, no help there. You might even say, I hate the post office. That, and my parents. Lousy beatniks. [sudden breakthrough sound] Hey! That felt good. Foster: He just said he hates his parents! Do you know what that means? Doctor: Um, what do you think? Foster: It means he's cured. Doctor: That's what I said. -- The Nick Riviera method works again, "Hurricane Neddy" Ned's released from the hospital in front of a cheering crowd. Ned: Thanks, everyone! I'm all better now. No more storing up the anger till I explode. If any of you does something I don't like, yo-ou're gonna hear about it! [crowd cheers] Foster: Yes, that's very healthy, Ned. Ned: [omnious] And if you really tick me off, I'm gonna run you down with my car. [clapping dies down dramatically and everyone looks worried] Homer: Heh heh! Ned, you so craz-ay! [Ned winks] -- You're not just whistling Dixie, Homer, "Hurricane Neddy" [End of Act Three. Time: 21:27]


{ac} Adam Codega {as} Andrius Schmid {bjr} Benjamin J. Robinson {ddg} Don Del Grande {dga} Dale G. Abersold {dn} David Ney {jb} Jared Betnar {jh} Jason Hancock {jk} Joe Klemm {jps} Jean-Philippe Savard {hl} Haynes Lee {ljs} Liam J. Scanlan {mb} Michael Baer {mss} Marge Starbrod-Simpson {np} Nate Patrin {ol} Ondre Lombard {sb2} Stephan Bonneville {sf} Steve Frayne

Legal Mumbo Jumbo

This episode capsule is Copyright 1997 Frederic Briere. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material, episode summaries and cease and desist orders remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. The transcript itself is Copyright 1997 Ondre Lombard. Not responsible for stolen cars. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.