[3F31] The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular

The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular                    Written by Penny Wise
                                                      Directed by Pound Foolish
Production code: 3F31                        Original airdate in N.A.: 3-Dec-95
                                                  Capsule revision D, 22-Feb-97

Title sequence

A drumroll sounds.

Announcer: Live, from the Springfield Civic Auditorium -- it's the
           Simpsons 138th episode spectacular!
            [trumpet fanfare as Troy McClure walks on]
     Troy: [walking on] Hello, I'm Troy McClure.  You may remember me
           from such Fox network specials as "Alien Nose Job" and "Five
           Fabulous Weeks of `The Chevy Chase Show'".
           Tonight we're here to honor America's favorite non-
           prehistoric cartoon family.  You'll see long lost footage,
           never-before-seen material from your favorite episodes, old
           favorites you can't see in syndication.
            [clips of MG07, 8F13, 2F20, and 9F03 run quickly]
           So join me, won't you, for the Simpsons 138th episode
-- Troy's introduction, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

Over the opening shot of Springfield, "23% New Footage" appears on the

Blackboard :- I will only do this once a year.
              I will only do this once a year/ at cutoff.

Lisa's Solo:- Heard, but not seen.  {rl}

Couch      :- [8F18] giant brown slug

           :- [9F02] running off the edge of the frame

           :- [9F10] everyone in Springfield runs in to watch TV

           :- [9F09] everyone very small

           :- [8F09] SLH growling on couch

           :- [1F02] Monty Python foot

           :- [2F31] Maggie largest, Homer smallest

           :- [2F09] Escher "Relativity"

           :- [2F06] running down perspective hallway

           :- [1F17] carpet is water

           :- [2F11] black and white/Michey Mouse

           :- [9F08] chorus line

[End of Credits.  Time: 2:17]

Did you notice...

Mark Richey:
    ... we learn how to say "Groening"?
    ... Smithers actually does look like a lemur in the WSMB outtake?
    ... there were no "syndication cut-outs" as promised?

Haynes Lee:
    ... Mr. Brooks looks like the tycoon from Monopoly?
    ... Mr. Simon looks like the eccentric Howard Hughes?
    ... the message in Homer's skull: "IOU one brain, signed, God"?

Benjamin Robinson:
    ... after showing the first short, Troy pauses a bit, as if taken
        aback by what he just saw?
    ... Satan's Formula 1 car was sponsored by Duff beer and Laramie
    ... Lionel Hutz's pizza is from "Jackie McLean Pizza & Jazz?"
    ... the dreaded robotic Richard Simmons is almost as fat as Homer?

Keith Palmer:
    ... the comics that Matt Groening was supposed to have worked on all
        have Bongo Comics seals?
    ... Santa's Little Helper holds the gun in his mouth to shoot Mr.
        Burns in one of the fake shootings?
    ... all of the fake shootings have the same background and animation
        of Burns?
    ... as one of the commercial breaks begins, Troy walks just off
        stage, seems to become depressed, and lights a cigarette?  (He
        likely didn't care for the episode.)

Dominik Halas:
    ... the living room has been moved?  (the arched doorway normally
        leads into the kitchen, not the hallway.)
    ... Groening is dressed just like Grampa?  (unlike Grampa, he wears
        an eyepatch and recognizes all 50 states)
    ... Brooks has two Emmies and an Oscar?
    ... the Life in Hell poster in Groening's office?

Don Del Grande:
    ... in the list of names, some appear more than once (like Vyolet
        Diaz and Marty Gross)?
    ... Apu fires more than one shot at Burns, so he couldn't have done
        it since only one shot was heard?
    ... whoever did do it used the same bullets as the gun found in
        Homer's car?
    ... "Good Night" has a FOX logo in the corner, but FOX had not
        started using it in 1987?

Ricardo Lafaurie:
    ... unlike the past two clip shows, this episode did not credit the
        collaborative efforts of the writers of the clips shown?
    ... Troy neglects to mention "Life in Hell" as one of Groening's
    ... Penny Wise is on the list of people who worked on the Simpsons?
    ... this episode confirms that Dr. Marvin Monroe is dead?
    ... this is the first episode to show episode titles (of other
        episodes, though)?
    ... Homer runs over Bart's bike?
    ... Apu carries an automatic weapon?
    ... apparently, Troy doesn't know that next season is the Simpsons'
    ... in the nudity scene from 2F07, Marge and Homer seem to have no

Voice credits

- Starring
    - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Krusty, James Bond)
    - Julie Kavner (Marge)
    - Nancy Cartwright (Bart)
    - Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
    - Hank Azaria (announcer, post office employee, Race Banyon, network
      man 2, Apu, Indian man in film)
    - Harry Shearer (Smithers, Burns, network man 1, Blofeld, Flanders)
- Special Guest Voice
    - Buzz Aldrin (himself)
    - Glenn Close (Mother Simpson)
    - Liz Georges (Maggie in MG01) [not credited - ed] {ddg}
    - Phil Hartman (Troy McClure, Lionel Hutz)
- Also Starring
    - Pamela Hayden (Lizzy Borden)
    - Tress MacNeille (Indian singing woman)

Movie (and other) references not already listed elsewhere

  + "Alien Autopsy"
    - "Alien Nose Job" refers to the actual alien special aired on Fox
  + "The Chevy Chase Show"
    - there never was a Fox special devoted to this show, that literally
      lasted five weeks
  + "Patton" {rl}
    - "Matt Groening's picture" is on a backdrop of the US flag, like
      the movie
  + "The Flintstones"
    - Troy refers to the Simpsons as "America's favorite non-prehistoric
      cartoon family"
  + Howard Hughes
    - Sam Simon looks just like him
  + Madonna's "Sex" book
    - Krusty's "Sex" book a clear parody
  + "Casino Royale" and other Bond movies
    - James Bond gambling looks similar (it was Chemin de Fer in the
      original film {ddg})
  + Domino's Pizza
    - "30 minutes or it's free" from Lionel Hutz (see below)
  + Richard Simmons
    - well, duh
  + "Terminator 2"
    - Richard Simmons robot's eye reforming very similar to T1000
  + the OJ Simpson trial
    - Troy's comment about the nuttiness of ignoring Simpson DNA
      evidence, just as was done in the trial

Previous episode references not already listed elsewhere

- [SC04] Has a comic named "It's In The Cards" (cf. Troy saying comedy
  was "in the cards") {jp}
- [9F03] "53% new footage" in I&S movie (cf. "23% new footage" in this
- [1F08] Howard Hughes is referenced {dh}
- [8F09], [9F15] "The Land of Chocolate" music plays {dh}
- [1F13] Homer refers to his trip to space in the clip from Mother
  Simpson {dh}
- [2F20] The evidence that Dr. Monroe is dead {ddg}
- [2F32] The death of Bleeding Gums Murphy {ddg}
- [2F33] Written by Penny Wise {rl}

Freeze frame fun

- Civic Center sign: {rl}
         SENIOR PROM
- Warning in the opening scene: {rl}
         NEW FOOTAGE
   Not a significant source of U.S. RDA
        original entertainment
- "Damnation" comic speech balloon: {rl}
   Depart from me,
      ye cursed!
- Stuff in Groening's office: {rl}
    - Life in Hell poster
    - Simpsons poster
    - gin
- The list of people involved with the Simpsons: {ddg}
    - Rows 74-97 are the same as rows 1-24 in each column
    - Row 33 Left says "Daviod S. Cohen" (instead of "David") and Row 35
      Center says "Louis Cohen" (instead of "Louise")
    - There are 182 unique names
    1 Younghee Higa            Josh Weinstein       Tim Heyen
    2 Jen Kamerman             Lance Thatcher       Neil Alsip
    3 Rick Roosevelt           Kristen Y. Howard    Jo Jo Stiger
    4 Ethan Spalding           Nia Andrews          Dan Helmut
    5 Allison Elliott          Ely Lester           Amy Kramer
    6 Dominique Braud-Stieger  Eric Stefani         Candace Kuwahara
    7 Josh Weinstein           Younghee Higa        Lucy Vollbrecht
    8 Mark McJimsey            Shigeko Doyle        Neil Alsip
    9 Ping Warner              Robert Ingram        Lance Thatcher
   10 Dan Faris                Antonia Coffman      Richard Sakai
   11 Don Gilbert              Arden Rynew          Tim Heyen
   12 Beth Traeger             Steve Mitchell       Michael Ludy
   13 Joe Johnson              J. Michael Mendel    Ethan Spalding
   14 Rick Roosevelt           Michelle Berman      Amy Klees-Rychlich
   15 Brad Greene              Lisa M. Raffonelli   John Berman
   16 Neil Goldman             Devin Paul           Belle Norman
   17 Nia Andrews              Janet Shirley        Patrick Buchanan
   18 John McGreal             Joe Boucher          Phil Hartman
   19 David Gilbert            India Andrews        Carlos Abdala
   20 Greg Daniels             Dan Helmut           Bill Breshears
   21 Vyolet Diaz              David Mendel         Colin A.B.V. Lewis
   22 Jen Kamerman             Mark Behn            Bill Oakley
   23 Joel Kuwahara            Christopher Scott    Seth Maury
   24 Don Johnson              Marty Gross          Jonathan Elliott
   25 Juel Bestrop             Elizabeth McJimsey   Colleen Murakami
   26 Jo Jo Stiger             Mike Whamond         Terry Greene
   27 Matt Groening            Dan Castellaneta     David Lipman
   28 Luis Escobar             Mike Marcantel       Becca Ramos
   29 Phyllis Craig            Cookie Tricarico     Kent Holaday
   30 Ken Tsumura              Kathy Duerr          Josh Rynew
   31 Velvet Pierson           Christine Bourgeois  Ricky Booker
   32 Rochelle Thatcher        Jacqueline Atkins    Everett A. Oliver
   33 Daviod S. Cohen          Jane Yamashita       George Meyer
   34 Jonathan Collier         Denise Sirkot        Brent Forrester
   35 Jennifer Crittenden      Louis Jaffe          Ken Keeler
   36 Richard Appel            Trish Helmut         Dan Greaney
   37 Harry Shearer            Bill Schultz         Yeardley Smith
   38 Bobby Mackston           Christine Griswold   Chris Ledesma
   39 Mike Scully              Adam Kuhlman         Bonita Pietila
   40 Travis Powers            Lance Wilder         Julie Kavner
   41 Kim Hayes                Karen Bauer          R. Russell Smith
   42 Pamela Hayden            Anne Luiting         Al Jean
   43 Annette Andersen         Martin Alvarez       Tress MacNeille
   44 Aileen Braun             Laurie Biernacki     Karen M. Boyle
   45 Elizabeth Jacobs         Ariel Lauritzen      Alf Clausen
   46 Sam Simon                Elizabeth Hernandez  Penny Wise
   47 Maria Kavanaugh          Kurtis Kunsak        Greg Orloff
   48 David Silverman          Steve Tompkins       Mike Reiss
   49 Brooke Kane              James L. Brooks      Felicia Nalivansky
   50 Michael Wolf             Ian Maxtone-Graham   Ellen Barnett
   51 Ralph A. Eusebio         Nancy Cartwright     David Mirkin
   52 Celia Kendrick           Hank Azaria          Alexander Duke
   53 Joe Wack                 Brad Bird            Sherry Falk
   54 Paul Fetler              Kristen Y. Howard    John Swartzwelder
   55 Danny Elfman             Dale Hendrickson     Sharon Ramsay
   56 Ronald Cox               Shaun Cashman        Sandra Contreras
   57 Bob Hile                 Syd Kato             Reid Kramer
   58 Larry Field              Robert Pennington    Heidi Johnson
   59 David Mathie             Matthew Kee          Adam Won
   60 Andrew Dolvin            Don Dixon            C.J. Dolvin
   61 Anatole Klebano          Avery Cobern         George Nicifords
   62 Rob Cohen                Tony Cappelli        Mike Bridge
   63 Jon Vitti                Paula Cox            Mike McCusker
   64 Peter Kwong              Ian Deitchman        Conan O'Brien
   65 Doris Grau               Carrie Pike          Bob Parks
   66 Colin A.B.V. Lewis       Ping Warner          Beth Traeger
   67 Robert Ingram            Steve Mitchell       Richard Sakai
   68 Amy Kramer               Dan Faris            John McGreal
   69 Devin Paul               Arden Rynew          Brad Greene
   70 Joe Johnson              Vyolet Diaz          Joe Boucher
   71 Shigeko Doyle            Amy Kramer           Brad Greene
   72 Janet Shirley            India Andrews        Seth Murray
   73 Christopher Scott        Marty Gross          Belle Norman
   74 Younghee Higa            Josh Weinstein       Tim Heyen
   75 Jen Kamerman             Lance Thatcher       Neil Alsip
   76 Rick Roosevelt           Kristen Y. Howard    Jo Jo Stiger
   77 Ethan Spalding           Nia Andrews          Dan Helmut
   78 Allison Elliott          Ely Lester           Amy Kramer
   79 Dominique Braud-Stieger  Eric Stefani         Candace Kuwahara
   80 Josh Weinstein           Younghee Higa        Lucy Vollbrecht
   81 Mark McJimsey            Shigeko Doyle        Neil Alsip
   82 Ping Warner              Robert Ingram        Lance Thatcher
   83 Dan Faris                Antonia Coffman      Richard Sakai
   84 Don Gilbert              Arden Rynew          Tim Heyen
   85 Beth Traeger             Steve Mitchell       Michael Ludy
   86 Joe Johnson              J. Michael Mendel    Ethan Spalding
   87 Rick Roosevelt           Michelle Berman      Amy Klees-Rychlich
   88 Brad Greene              Lisa M. Raffonelli   John Berman
   89 Neil Goldman             Devin Paul           Belle Norman
   90 Nia Andrews              Janet Shirley        Patrick Buchanan
   91 John McGreal             Joe Boucher          Phil Hartman
   92 David Gilbert            India Andrews        Carlos Abdala
   93 Greg Daniels             Dan Helmut           Bill Breshears
   94 Vyolet Diaz              David Mendel         Colin A.B.V. Lewis
   95 Jen Kamerman             Mark Behn            Bill Oakley
   96 Joel Kuwahara            Christopher Scott    Seth Maury
   97 Don Johnson              Marty Gross          Jonathan Elliott
- Names that appear more than once: {ddg}
   FOUR TIMES (12)       THREE TIMES (22)      TWICE (29) 
   Neil Alsip            India Andrews         Carlos Abdala
   Nia Andrews           Joe Boucher           Mark Behn
   Brad Greene           Vyolet Diaz           John Berman
   Dan Helmut            Shigeko Doyle         Michelle Berman
   Tim Heyen             Dan Faris             Dominique Braud-Stieger
   Younghee Higa         Marty Gross           Bill Breshears
   Jen Kamerman          Kristen Y. Howard     Patrick Buchanan
   Amy Kramer            Robert Ingram         Antonia Coffman
   Rick Roosevelt        Joe Johnson           Greg Daniels
   Ethan Spalding        Colin A.B.V. Lewis    Allison Elliott
   Lance Thatcher        John McGreal          Jonathan Elliott
   Josh Weinstein        Steve Mitchell        David Gilbert
                         Belle Norman          Don Gilbert
                         Devin Paul            Neil Goldman
                         Beth Traeger          Phil Hartman
                         Arden Rynew           Don Johnson
                         Richard Sakai         Amy Klees-Rychlich
                         Christopher Scott     Candace Kuwahara
                         Janet Shirley         Joel Kuwahara
                         Jo Jo Stiger          Ely Lester
                         Beth Traeger          Michael Ludy
                         Ping Warner           Seth Maury
                                               mARK mCjImsey
                                               David Mendel
                                               J. Michael Mendel
                                               Bill Oakley
                                               Lisa M. Raffonelli
                                               Eric Stefani
                                               Lucy Vollbrecht
- Pizza box: {rl}
     and Jazz

Animation, continuity, and other goofs

In the fake ending of WSMB II, Smithers is shown during the shooting
looking as he normally does.  But in the end of WSMB I and the beginning
of WSMB II, he is unshaven, missing his jacket, and his tie is undone.


Mark Richey: The best of the clip shows.  The outtakes were very funny.
    The "trivia" was a good send up of that sort, and the alternative
    solution to WSMB was pretty good.  However, when you come right down
    to it, it was still just a clip show.  C+

Dale Abersold: Hardly an episode at all...hardly even a clip show!  The
    clips were terrific, even though the Robotic Richard Simmons was not
    nearly as scary as I had thought it should be.  I also loved the
    O.J. reference about ignoring DNA evidence.  However, if I must give
    the episode a grade, it would be: Incomplete.

Haynes Lee: The producers have learned from last year that they cannot
    stitch together 20 minutes of old material with 5 minutes of new
    material.  The result is a summary episode that should have been
    done a long time ago.  Grade: A-.

Andrew Wagster: This wasn't a terrible episode [despite it being a clips
    episode, which I usually hate], due mainly to Troy McClure, who I
    like.  I got to see a few clips that I'd forgotten about [the
    Flintstones reference cracked me up in particular], so it wasn't a
    total waste.  Grade: B.

Benjamin Robinson: As the televised equivalent to a B-sides album, this
    episode makes a nice curio for the Simpsons fan.  Almost makes up
    for my not getting to see Mr. Silverman's presentation in San
    Francisco.  (B)

John Martin: Please.  Not another clip show!  This one was better than
    the others, in that the writers made it pretty obvious that they
    (and Troy McClure) hate doing this sort of thing.  The "Robotic
    Richards Simmons" clip is the ONLY thing that saves this from the
    garbage dump.  Overall, a D-.

Keith Palmer: I should admit that I don't hate clip shows just for being
    clip shows; I liked the first, but disliked the second.  However,
    this episode's stripped-down frame, blasts from the distant past,
    outtakes, and unique look at Matt Groening made it more original and
    entertaining than its predecessors.  Grade: B+/A-

Dominik Halas: Brilliant!  Much better than the first two clip shows
    because most of the clips they used _weren't_ ones we normally get
    to see.  If Bart's blackboard lines are any indication, they'll do
    another one next year, so producers, take note: _this_ clip show is
    the one to emulate.  Grade: A.

Don Del Grande: C-plus - This is my idea of a "clip show"; however,
    there just weren't enough of the "outtakes" to make it really
    worthwhile, although anyone who never saw the shorts from "The
    Tracey Ullman Show" might like it a little better.  On top of that,
    the promised "syndication outtakes" never appeared.

Scott Fujimoto: This time, the producers made it interesting by
    including stuff that people wouldn't know about unless they watched
    Tracy Ullman or went to one of David Silverman's talks.  Plus a lot
    of great (original) jokes.  I liked it, although they can't pull the
    same stunt again.  Grade: A.

Frederic Briere: If I had to keep only one episode, it would be this
    one.  Not that it was _that_ funny, but it truly kept the feeling of
    every season from the show: this is what the two first clip shows
    should've looked like.  For someone who will never get Comedy
    Central in his life, those Tracey Ullman Shorts were a slice of
    paradise.  (A)

Ricardo Lafaurie: I'm wary of clip shows, but this one was great because
    it had the proper setting (they didn't try to intermingle it with
    the show.)  Watching the Tracey Ullman shorts were good too.  And
    Richdale must have been nuts to let them cut out that robotic
    Richard Simmons!!!  B-.

Jose Lafaurie: Probably the only good clip show ever.  There was just
    one problem - did you notice the pacing was kind of slow.  And to
    top that off, they had to put the Tracey Ullman show, which were,
    like the NeXT computer, built to be slow.  And DYN how Troy spoke?
    There were gaps between every sentence, man.  (C+)

Adam Lipkin: Good lord, they didn't really look like that, did they?
    It's a much bgger change than I thought.  As a clip show it went
    pretty well, considering that most of the clips were never shown
    before.  Troy McClure takes a well-deserved starring role.  Grade:

Tony Hill: This was superb, as clip shows go.  It was well-paced,
    acerbic, and witty.  The only detraction was the uniting of truth
    with parody (Captain Wacky, Groening's past, etc.).  I give it an

Yours truly: Now that's how a clip show oughta be done.  A terrific
    self-satirizing send-up of the show, with many classic scenes in a
    row plus a rare glimpse at what gets cut...what more could one want?
    As a clip show, A+; as a regular episode, B+.

Comments and other observations

"Captain Wacky", a.k.a. Homer

Ricardo Lafaurie writes, "When Troy said this, it sort of made me think
    about the Tracy Ullman show.  Did you notice that Homer went
    nameless throughout the majority of the shows?  He was even credited
    as `Dad' or `Mr. Simpson.'  Some shorts give Homer's name.  Examples

    - "The Pagans"            (MG22)   by  Bart {ddg}
    - "The Aquarium"          (MG24)   by  Bart {ddg}
    - "Zoo Story"             (MG29)   by  Marge {ddg}
    - "Art Museum"            (MG29)   by  Marge
    - "Shut up Simpsons"      (MG30)   by  Grampa and Bart
    - "Home Hypnotism"        (MG32)   by  Marge and Bart {ddg}
    - "Punching Bag"          (MG33)   by  Marge and Bart
    - "Echo Canyon"           (MG36)   by  Bart
    - "The Bart Simpson Show" (MG38)   by  Lisa (!)
    - "Bathtime"              (MG44)   by  Bart
    - "Family Therapy"        (MG47)   by  Bart
    - "T.V. Simpsons"         (MG48)   by  Bart

    Incidentally, Marge was never named until the half-hour show."

The Indian movie

This was, apparently, a not-inaccurate portrayal of Indian movies.  The
    man who bursts through the window utters real Hindi curses.  Sarang
    Gupta explains, "According to my Mom, who speaks fluent Hindi (but
    didn't see the show, so I had to pronounce this out loud to her), it
    means `Dog!  (koothay) Mean person!  (kaminay, a swear word in Hindi
    with no real English translation) I am speaking [these insults] to
    those who are eavesdropping/listening to me.  (suun ka va jay)'
    Although it sounds awkward translated, my Mom tells me it's a viable
    insult in Hindi (plus I'm grounded for two weeks...)."

Jay Srinivasan further notes, "The `top 400 list' remark by Apu is a
    reference to the fact that India is the leading producer of movies.
    They have thousands, if not more, every year.  That's why they are
    so crappy.  My mom told me that many movies have weddings where it
    rains, and then there is dancing, not unlike Apu's movie."

Domino's Pizza

Their guarantee was delivery in under "30 minutes or your pizza is
    free."  Haynes Lee notes, "However, one of their drivers got into a
    really nasty accident and Domino's got sued big-time.  A really good
    legal reference."

Hardcore nudity from 2F07

Benjamin Robinson writes, "If you look carefully, you'll notice that
    another outtake slipped into the nudie montage at the end.  The
    scene where Bart interrupts Homer and Marge's is from `Grampa vs.
    Sexual Inadequacy (2F07),' right?  Wrong!  I checked my tape of the
    original airing, and -- yowsa!  -- we got to see a lot more of her
    this time.  In fact, the scene that did air looks comparatively
    crude, as if the censors balked at the last minute and ordered a re-
    do.  Well, I guess this makes up for dropping the `doggy leapfrog'
    scene from `Two Dozen & One Greyhounds (2F18).'"

Quotes and Scene Summary

Troy: "The Simpsons" began as the brainchild of cartoonist Matt
       [screen shows a bald man with an eyepatch saluting in front of a
      US flag and looking menacing]
      the already-famous creator of such comics as "Damnation", "Johnny
      Reb", and "True Murder Stories".  [screen shows each]
      In 1987, Groening teamed up with award-winning producers James L.
       [shot of 8F01-esque rich man surrounded by bags of money]
      and Sam Simon.
       [shot of Howard Hughes-esque naked man typing in bed]
      And what better place to premiere their creation than on "The
      Tracy Ullman Show", the nation's showcase for psychiatrist jokes
      and musical comedy numbers?  On April 19th, 1987, America first
      met "The Simpsons".
-- From humble beginnings, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

All 1:48 of MG01 ("Good Night") airs.  When the camera returns to Troy,
he has a look of disbelieving incredulity on his face.  He laughs
suddenly and observes, "They haven't changed a bit, have they?"

He continues, "As the weeks went on, so did the cartoons." 0:46 of MG16
("The Perfect Crime") airs, followed by 0:47 of MG13 ("Space Patrol").
Troy resumes, "As wacky as those kids were, they were no match for
`Captain Wacky', later renamed `Homer'." 0:24 of MG20 ("World War III")
airs, followed by 1:06 of MG44 ("Bathtime").

Troy: Maybe the drawings were a little crude, but all the characters
      were there: Itchy & Scratchy,
       [shot of Itchy showing Scratchy a female cat]
      Grampa Simpson,
       [shot of a very crude crayon drawing of Abe]
      and Krusty the Klown.
       [shot of another very crude drawing of Krusty]
      When we return, more classic moments, and, for the first time ever
      on TV, our private reel of "Simpsons" outtakes, including the
      alternate endings to "Who Shot Mr. Burns?"
       [the audience claps as Troy walks offstage]
       [once there, he sighs and lights a cigarette]
-- "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

Just before the commercial break, the announcer asks, "In the opening
credits, what does the cash register say when Maggie is scanned?"

[End of Act One.  Time: 8:33]

Announcer: In the opening credits, what does the cash register say when
           Maggie is scanned?
           The cash register says, "NRA4EVER", just one of the hundreds
           of radical right-wing messages inserted into every show by
           creator Matt Groening.
     Troy: Over the six years "The Simpsons" has been on the air, we've
           received dozens of letters from fans wanting to know more
           about the show.  Tonight, we'll answer some of your
           Professor Lawrence Pierce of the University of Chicago
           writes, "I think Homer gets stupider every year."  That's not
           a question, Professor, but we'll let the viewers judge for
-- No jury in the world would convict him, "The Simpsons 138th Episode

          [screen: "Second season"]
   Homer: [disguising his voice] Hello, my name is Mr. Burns.  I believe
          you have a letter for me.
Employee: OK, Mr. Burns.  Uh, what's your first name?
   Homer: [pause] I don't know.
-- 0:11 from 7F22 ("Blood Feud"): is Home getting stupider?, "The
    Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

       [screen: "Third season"]
Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that
       something you created is making so many people happy.
Homer: [sarcastic] Ooh, look at me!  I'm making people happy!  I'm the
       magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!
        [walks out, slams door]
        [sticks head back in] Oh, by the way: I was being sarcastic
       [slams door]
Marge: Well, _duh_.
-- 0:22 from 8F08 ("Flaming Moe's"): is Homer getting stupider?, "The
    Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

       [screen: "Fourth season"]
        [the theme from "The Flintstones" plays]
        [a man looks at his watch, and pulls a cord on a whistle]
Homer: Yabba dabba doo!
        [slides down pipe, crashes through window into car]
        [singing] Simpson, Homer Simpson,
       He's the greatest guy in history!
       From the town of Springfield,
       He's about to hit a chestnut tree.
       Aah!  [smash!]
-- 0:29 from 9F10 ("Marge vs. the Monorail"): is Homer getting
    stupider?, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

       [screen: "Fifth season"]
Homer: Hey, guys!  Look what I smuggled aboard!  [shows a bag of chips]
 Buzz: Homer, no!
        [he opens the bag; the chips fly everywhere]
 Race: They'll clog the instruments!
 Buzz: [shielding eyes] Careful!  They're ruffled!
Homer: I'll take care of this...
        [as the "Blue Danube" plays, Homer floats about, eating chips]
        [his head approaches the ant colony]
       Aah!  Ants!
Ant 1: Protect the queen!
Ant 2: Which one's the queen?
Ant 3: I'm the queen!
Ant 1: No you're not!
Homer: Nooo!  [his head smashed the colony, and the ants float free]
Ant 1: Freedom!  Horrible, horrible freedom!
-- 0:53 from 1F13 ("Deep Space Homer"): is Homer getting stupider?, "The
    Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

       [screen: "Sixth season"]
Homer: "No TV and No Beer Make Homer" something something.
Marge: [timid] "Go Crazy"?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!
        [makes lots of silly noises, then chases Marge]
-- 0:18 from 2F03 ("Treehouse of Horror V"): is Homer getting stupider?,
    "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

Troy: Dr. Linus Irving of the Sloan-Ketterling Memorial Institute
      writes, "How does Matt Groening find the time to write and draw an
      entire `Simpsons' episode every week?"  For the answer to this, we
      went straight to the source.
       [through a window, a shot of Matt at a desk]
Matt: [seeing the camera] Get out of my off --!
       [picks up a gun, shoots at the camera]
Troy: Of course, what Matt _meant_ to say, according to his attorneys,
      is that he couldn't possibly do it alone.  And he insisted that we
      make time to acknowledge the hard work of everyone who makes "The
      Simpsons" possible.
       [very quick shot of lots of names]
-- Hey, they took the time, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

    Troy: Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast writes, "What
          is the real deal with Mr. Burns' assistant Smithers?  You know
          what I'm talking about."  Ha ha ha, of course we do.
           [0:13 from 1F01 ("Rosebud")]
Smithers: The preparations for your birthday have begun.
   Burns: I won't get what I really want.
Smithers: No one does...
           [imagines Mr. Burns, naked, popping out of a cake singing,
          "Happy Birthday, Mr. Smithers]
           [0:14 from 8F17 ("Dog of Death")]
Smithers: People _like_ dogs, Mr. Burns.
   Burns: Nonsense!  Dogs are idiots.  Think about it, Smithers: if _I_
          came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and
          slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: [pause] If _you_ did it, Sir?
           [0:13 from 1F12 ("Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy")]
Smithers: Here, I'll print you out a copy.
    Lisa: Thanks!
           [Smithers turns on his computer; a bitmapped Mr. Burns
   Burns: [halting cadence] Hello, Smithers.  You're quite good at
          turning me on.
Smithers: Um...you probably should ignore that.
           [0:19 from 9F05 ("Marge Gets a Job")]
   Burns: [sighs] I dreamed about her again last night, Smithers.  You
          know that dream when you're in bed and they fly in through the
           [Smithers imagines Burns doing just that]
    Troy: [voiceover] As you can see, the real deal with Waylon Smithers
          is that he's Mr. Burns' assistant.  He's in his early 40s, is
          unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield.  Thanks for
          writing!  We'll be right back.
-- "Skirting" the issue, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

Just before the commercial break, the announcer asks, "Which popular
`Simpsons' characters have died in the past year?"

[End of Act Two.  Time: 13:22]

Announcer: Which popular "Simpsons" characters have died in the past
           year?  If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy and Dr. Marvin
           Monroe, you are wrong: they were never popular.
     Troy: Right about now, you're probably saying, "Troy, I've seen
           _every_ `Simpsons' episode.  You can't show me anything new."
            [menacing] Well, you got some attitude, Mister.
           Besides, you're wrong!  Because sometimes, episodes run long,
           and certain scenes never get aired.  So fire up your VCR,
           because here, for the first time ever, are the cut-out
-- "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

  Troy: [voiceover] When Krusty the clown got canceled, he tried
        everything to stay on the air.  Here's what you didn't see.
Krusty: Watch my show, I will send you this book featuring me in a
        variety of sexually explicit positions.
         [men drag him off] What?  Hey!  It's not really me: I used a
        stunt butt!
         [later, Krusty looks dejected as three men walk up]
 Man 1: Krusty, we're from the network.  Uh, we have some bad news: I'm
        afraid your show's been canceled.
Krusty: Oh, I thought this would happen.  I just hope you replace me
        with something as educational and uplifting as I tried to be.
 Man 2: Actually, it's a hemorrhoid infomercial starring Claude Akins.
Krusty: Can I play hemorrhoid sufferer number one?  Ooh!  Oh, that
        hurts!  Ow!  Oh, is there no relief?
 Man 1: I don't think so.  [they start to walk off]
Krusty: How about one of the "after" guys?  Aah.  Ohh, that's better.  I
        can ride a bike again!
 Man 1: Sorry.
-- Some new footage in 9F19 ("Krusty Gets Kancelled"), "The Simpsons
    138th Episode Spectacular"

   Troy: [voiceover] When Springfield legalized gambling, Homer became a
         blackjack dealer -- and comedy was in the cards.
Blofeld: 20.  Your move, Mr. Bond.
   Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer.  [Homer gives him a card]
         Joker!  You were supposed to take those out of the deck.
  Homer: Oh, sorry.  Here's another one.
   Bond: What's this card?  "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond.
          [Odd Job and Jaws grab Bond and drag him out]
   Bond: But...but it's Homer's fault!  I didn't lose.  I never lose!
         Well, at least tell me the details of your plot for world
Blofeld: Ho ho ho, I'm not going to fall for _that_ one again.
-- Some new footage in 1F08 ("$pringfield"), "The Simpsons 138th Episode

  Troy: [voiceover] Earlier this year, Homer's long-lost mother
        returned.  And so did a long-lost care package.
         [shot of Homer eating food from old care packages]
 Homer: Mmm.
Mother: Homer, please: you don't have to wolf down that 25- year-old
        candy just to make me happy.
 Homer: [pause] But it won't make you unhappy, right?  [bites]
        Hey!  Space food sticks!  Oh, I wish I had _these_ on my space
        adventure.  Did you know I was blasted into space two years ago,
Mother: Well, sure.  I read all about it.  It _was_ national news.
        [fearfully] Do you _still_ work for NASA?
 Homer: No, I work at the nuclear power plant.
Mother: Oh, Homer.
 Homer: Well, you'll be happy to know I don't work very hard.  [quietly]
        Actually, I'm bringing the plant down from the inside
         [taps nose secretively]
-- Some new footage in 3F06 ("Mother Simpson"), "The Simpsons 138th
    Episode Spectacular"

  Troy: [voiceover] When Homer sold his soul for a donut, he found Hell
        isn't all it's cracked up to be in these never-before broadcast
         [a demon selects Homer's head from several and grips it]
         [he rolls it down an alley as Homer's head screams]
         [it hits the spiked pins and breaks open, revealing a note:
        "IOU one brain, signed God"]
         [at home, Marge reads the phone book]
 Marge: Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers...oh!  Lionel Hutz.  "Cases won in 30
        minutes or your pizza's free."  Hmm.
  Bart: I'd sell my soul for a formula one racing car.
         [Satan Ned appears with a race car]
   Ned: Heh heh heh, that can be arranged.
  Bart: Changed my mind.  Sorry.
         [Ned vanishes] Cool!
 Marge: Bart!  Stop pestering Satan.
         [after the trial]
Lizzie: Your Honor, we find that Homer Simpson's soul is legally the
        property of Marge Simpson and not of the devil.
   Ned: [disappointed] Oh.
  Kids: Yay!
         [the legions of Hell disappear]
  Hutz: [walking around a corner] Well, I didn't win.  Here's your
 Marge: But we _did_ win!
  Hutz: That's OK: the box is empty.
-- Some new footage in 1F04 ("Treehouse of Horror IV"), "The Simpsons
    138th Episode Spectacular"

Troy has fallen asleep on the couch behind the film projector.  Someone
pokes him with a stick.  "If that's what they cut out, what they leave
in must be pure gold!" he says, awakening with a start.  "Let's watch
some more of those fabulous Simpsons outtakes."

 Troy: Apu living with the Simpsons?!  It happened.  And here's a scene
       you didn't see.
  Apu: I'm hoping you enjoy this movie.  It made every Indian critic's
       top 400 list.
Woman: [singing] Love love love love love!  I'm in love with lovely
        [an Indian man breaks through a window and curses in Hindi at
       three sitting men]
        [they all start dancing]
 Bart: This movie you rented sucks.
Homer: No it doesn't, it's funny!  Their clothes are different from my
       clothes.  [laughs] Look at what they're wearing!  [laughs more]
-- Some new footage in 1F10 ("Homer and Apu"), "The Simpsons 138th
    Episode Spectacular"

    Troy: [voiceover] A few years back, Bart was adopted by Mr. Burns.
          In this very special outtake, Homer attempts a reconciliation
          with his estranged son.  Watch.
   Homer: Bart, you're coming home.
    Bart: I want to stay here with Mr. Burns.
   Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
   Homer: Or what?  You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs
          with bees in their mouths, and when they bark, they shoot bees
          at you?  Well, go ahead.  Do your worst.
   Burns: "Do my worst", eh?  Smithers, release the robotic Richard
           [a door open and said robot walks out]
 Simmons: Come on, big boy!  Shake that butter off those buns.
           [a speaker pops out of its head and plays "Shake Your Booty"]
   Homer: Aah!  [runs away]
 Simmons: Come on, come on, girls!  Shake, shake, shake!
   Burns: Smithers, it's out of control.
Smithers: I'll take him out, Sir!
           [cocks shotgun, blasts it in the head]
           [the hole closes up a la T2 and the dancing resumes]
 Simmons: [slowing down] Shake, shake, shake!  Shake, shake, shake!
          Shake, shake, shake...
Smithers: His ass is going to blow!
           [they all run in the house]
           [the robot explodes, its head landing far away]
-- Some new footage from 1F16 ("Burns' Heir"), "The Simpsons 138th
    Episode Spectacular"

The camera returns to Troy.

Troy: This past summer, all of America was trying to solve the mystery
      of who shot Mr. Burns.  [pause] Then they found out it was the
       [long pause; coughs]
      To keep this bombshell secret, the producers animated several
      solutions that were never intended to air.
       [scene shows Barney, Tito Puente, Moe, Apu, and SLH each shooting
      Mr. Burns next to the Simpson car]
      And to keep the show's animators, editors, staff, and hangers-on
      from leaking the solution, two completely different endings were
      produced: one real, one phony.  Here's the ending you were never
      meant to see.
-- The rumors laid to rest, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

   Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers]
          Aah!  Aah!  Waylon Smithers!
Smithers: [pained] Noo!  Wait a minute: yes.
   Burns: With the sun blocker in place and the town aghast, I was on
          top of the world.  So I wanted to kick up my heels and indulge
          my sweet tooth.
           [walks toward parking lot]
          I feel like celebrating.  [sees Maggie] Oh, it's you.  What
          are you so happy about?
           [she smiles, holding up a lollipop]
           [gasps] I see.
           [voiceover] Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take
          candy from a baby.  But with him out of the picture, I was
          free to wallow in my own crapulence.  Or so I thought -- but
          at the last moment, Smithers, drunk as a lemur, lurched out of
          the darkness and fired.
Smithers: [remembering] That's right.  Right before I shot Jasper.  Hmm,
          I was busy that night.
   Burns: [voiceover] Stricken, I lurched forth in search of aid, but
          finding only slack-jawed gawkers, I gave up and collapsed on
          the sundial.
    Lisa: Then, with your last ounce of strength, you pointed to W and
          S: "Waylon Smithers".
   Marge: Well, I'm just relieved that Homer's safe and that you've
          recovered and that we can all get back to normal.
   Burns: Not exactly.  Smithers, for attempting to kill me, I'm giving
          you a 5% pay cut.
Smithers: [howling] Ohh.
    Troy: But of course, for that ending to work, you would have to
          ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence.  [laughs] And that would
          be downright nutty.
-- The alternate ending to 2F20 ("Who Shot Mr. Burns?  Part Two"), "The
    Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

The camera shows two photos of the Simpson family, one from an early
Tracy Ullman short, the other from a modern episode.

Troy: Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made
      humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts.
      Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time
      the show becomes unprofitable?
      I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you with what we all came here to
      see: hardcore nudity!
-- The credits roll, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"

[End of Act Three.  Time: 21:45]

Over the credits, "Shake Your Booty" plays, while we are treated to many
samples of nudity from the show, including: {ddg}

9F07 Barney's "diaper" comes off
1F22 Nelson removes Martin's swim trunks
1F01 Homer's impression of Mr. Burns
2F32 Bart as "Dr. Cheeks"
2F04 Willie's kilt is lifted
2F12 Homer's clown pants get caught in his mini-bicycle
2F13 "Don't tread on me"
2F06 Homer's robe lifted by the wind
9F08 baby Bart swings on a clothesline
7F18 Marge enters bathroom, sees nude Burns
2F07 Bart interrupts nude Homer/Marge
2F06 Homer getting out of the shower and seeing a helicopter
2F10 photo of Bart "riding" Snowball
9F04 naked Homer running from Krusty doll {cc}
1F18 Bart on the toilet
2F09 Homer dragging a stone chained to him {rl}
8F05 Rabbis in the sauna
9F13 Bart doing a Nixon impression
7G09 naked Homer in the forest
8F19 Homer throws his hat over the "camera" {rl}


   {cc}  Chris Courtois
   {ddg} Don Del Grande
   {dh}  Dominik Halas
   {rl}  Ricardo Lafaurie
   {kp}  Keith Palmer
   {jp}  John Plasket
This episode summary is Copyright 1997 by James A. Cherry.  Not to be
redistributed in a public forum without permission.  (The quotes
themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the
reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors.  I'm
just taking credit for the compilation.)