If you want your own copy of the Java applet (and source) to create your own version of this "blackboard applet" (and you can use your own quotes), Click Here
Episodes are listed in broadcast sequence
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7G08
None - Christmas Special
7G02
I will not waste chalk
7G03
I will not skateboard in the halls
7G04
I will not burp in class
7G06
I will not instigate revolution
7G09
I will not draw naked ladies in class
7G07
I did not see Elvis
7G10
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
7G13
Garlic gum is not funny
7G12
They are laughing at me, not with me
7G01
I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded
classroom
7F03
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
7F02
Tar is not a plaything
7F04
None - Halloween Special
7F01
I will not Xerox my butt
7F01
It's potato, not potatoe
This was used for the third airing of 7F01
(a reference to Dan Quayle's gaffe while visiting a school)
7F05
I will not trade pants with others
7F08
I am not a 32 year old woman
To put it another way, Nancy Cartwright is not
a 10-year-old boy
7F07
I will not do that thing with my
tongue
7F06
I will not drive the principal's car
7F09
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
7F10
I will not sell school property
7F11
I will not cut corners
It actually looks like this:
I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS
" " " " " "
" " " " " "
7F12
I will not get very far with this attitude
7F13
I will not make flatuent noises in class
7F15
I will not belch the National Anthem
7F16
I will not sell land in Florida
7F14
Repeat of 7F10
7F17
I will not grease the monkey bars
7F18
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
7F20
I will not do anything bad ever again
7F21
I will not show off
This was written in an "Olde English"-style font
7F22
I will not sleep through my education
7F24
I am not a dentist
8F01
Spitwads are not free speech
7F23
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
8F03
High explosives and school don't mix
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
8F04
I will not squeak chalk
Bart squeaks the chalk while writing this
8F05
I will finish what I sta
This appears on one line; the rest is blank
8F02
None - Halloween Special
8F06
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
8F07
I will not fake rabies
This never appeared in original airings in the USA, but did in Canada
8F08
Underwear should be worn on the inside
8F09
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
8F10
I will not torment the emotionally
frail
8F11
I will not carve gods
8F14
I will not spank others
8F13
I will not aim for the head
8F15
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
Lisa has a blackboard punishment of sorts during the episode; she has to clap erasers
8F17
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
8F19
I will not conduct my own fire drills
8F20
Funny noises are not funny
8F21
I will not spin the turtle
8F22
I will not snap bras
8F23
I will not fake seizures
8F24
This punishment is not boring and pointless
8F18
My name is not Dr. Death
9F01
I will not defame New Orleans
New Orleans complained about the opening song in "Oh, Streetcar!"
9F02
I will not prescribe medication
Originally, the FOX showings had no chalkboard for 9F01 and the New Orleans one for 9F02, while
Canadian showings had them as listed
9F04
None - Halloween Special
9F03
I will not bury the new kid
I will try to raise a better child
Written by Marge
9F05
I will not teach others to fly
9F06
I will not bring sheep to class
9F07
A burp is not an answer
9F08
Teacher is not a leper
9F09
Coffee is not for kids
Each line becomes less and less legible; the last line is a scrawl
9F10
I will not eat things for money
9F11
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
9F12
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
9F13
I will not call the principal "spud head"
9F14
Goldfish don't bounce
9F15
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
9F17
No one is interested in my underpants
9F16
I will not sell miracle cures
9F18
I will return the seeing-eye dog
9F20
I do not have diplomatic immunity
9F19
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
9F21
I will never win an Emmy
This was the first episode after 1992-93 Emmy nominations were announced, the first time the show was
eligible for "Best Comedy Series", but it wasn't nominated (the show had won "Best Animated Show" Emmys in the past)
9F22
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
1F07
All work and no play makes Bart a dull
boy
This is probably a reference to The
Shining, especially as this quote was not written "line
by line" like the others
1F08
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
1F09
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
1F11
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
A reference to "The Fugitive"
1F10
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
1F14
I am not delightfully saucy
1F15
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
1F16
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
1F18
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
This was first used for the 100th new episode
1F19
There are plenty of businesses like show business
1F21
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
1F20
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
1F22
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
1F17
Repeat of 9F17
2F33
I will not use abbrev.
2F01
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy
Davis Jr.
2F04
I will not send lard through the mail
2F05
I will not dissect things unless
instructed
2F06
I will not whittle hall passes out of
soap
2F07
Repeat of 1F11
2F08
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him
hard enough
2F09
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it
okay to insult the Principal
2F10
"Bagman" is not a legitimate career
choice
2F11
Cursive writing does not mean what I
think it does
2F12
Next time it could be me on the
scaffolding
2F13
I will not hang donuts on my person
2F14
I will remember to take my medication
2F15
I will not strut around like I own the
place
2F18
The Good Humor man can only be pushed
so far
2F19
I do not have power of attorney over
first graders
2F32
Nerve gas is not a toy
2F21
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
2F22
The First Amendment does not cover
burping
2F16
This is not a clue...or is it?
In this episode, there are clues that are
supposed to reveal who shoots Mr. Burns
2F20
I will not complain about the solution
when I hear it
In this episode, the shooter (see 2F16)
is revealed
2F17
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
3F01
No one wants to hear from my armpits
3F02
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
3F03
The boys room is not a water park
3F04
None - Halloween Special
3F05
Indian burns are not our cultural
heritage
3F08
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and
other living things
3F31
I will only do this once a year
...which is once a year too many for clip
shows
3F07
I will stop talking about the twelve
inch pianist
3F10
I am not certified to remove asbestos
3F23
I did not learn everything I need to
know in kindergarten
4F03
I am not my long-lost twin
4F01
I will not be a snickerpuss.
Written by Lisa, complete with period at the end
This also appeared in a flashback scene in OABF02
3G01
The truth is not out there
A reference to "The X-Files"
4F08
I am not licensed to do anything
3G03
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
4F13
I will not lie in front of the school bus with ketchup on my face
Actually, this episode had no blackboard opening;
Jason Fox drew this in the comic strip "FoxTrot" on the day this episode premiered - I just want to see
who is "borrowing" my lists while removing things like the notes (and my name)
(Earlier editions of this list say that the strip appeared when 4F11 premiered; however, it actually appeared March 2, 1997, when 4F13 first aired)
4F16
A fire drill does not demand a fire
3G02
I no longer want my MTV
5F01
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
5F03
I did not invent Irish dancing
5F05
I will not tease Fatty
5F06
There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"
5F07
Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related
5F23
Shooting paintballs is not an art form
5F10
Pain is not the cleanser
5F12
Silly String is not a nasal spray
5F13
I was not told to do this
3G04
My butt does not deserve a website
5F14
I will not demand what I'm worth
A reference to the holdout of the cast for more money
5F09
I will not mess with the opening credits
This appeared in place of the couch opening; the rest of the family runs into the classroom
5F17
I am not the new Dalai Lama
5F18
I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"
This was first shown three days after the last episode of "Seinfeld"
5F21
I will not file frivolous lawsuits
AABF01
The Simpsons Halloween Special IX
This was painted on the board in blood with a large brush
5F19
"butt.butt" is not my E-mail address
Originally, "butt.com" appeared in place of "butt.butt", but it was changed as butt.com is an actual web
site address; however, "butt.com" still appeared in Canada
AABF02
No one cares what my definition of "is" is
Which is not quite true in President Clinton's case
AABF03
I will not scream for ice cream
AABF04
I am not a licensed hairstylist
AABF05
"The President did it" is not an excuse
This was first shown the day after President Clinton became the first elected President to be impeached
(Andrew Johnson, the only other President to be impeached, became President because he was Vice-President when Lincoln was killed)
AABF06
My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld
AABF07
Sherri does not "got back"
AABF08
I will not do the Dirty Bird
The "dirty bird" is the "celebration dance" of the Atlanta Falcons, one of the teams in the 1999 Super Bowl
AABF09
No one wants to hear about my sciatica
AABF11
Hillbillies are people too
AABF10
Grammar is not a time of waste
AABF12
Repeat of 9F20
AABF13
It does not suck to be you
AABF14
I cannot absolve sins
I Will Not Deface
In the Moses story, Bart carves this (actually, "Eye Well Knot D-Face") in hieroglyphics
AABF15
A trained ape could not teach gym
AABF16
Loose teeth don't need my help
AABF17
I have neither been there nor done that
AABF18
Repeat of 3F01
AABF20
I'm so very tired
AABF23
Fridays are not "pants optional"
AABF22
Pork is not a verb
AABF21
I am not the last Don
BABF01
None - Halloween Special
AABF19
I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize
BABF02
I won't not use no double negatives
BABF03
Repeat of 3F05
BABF05
I can't see dead people
A reference to the movie "The Sixth Sense"
(coincidentally, Haley Joel Osment, who played the boy in the
movie who could see dead people, was at one time the voice of
Curly on "Hey Arnold!", which was created by Matt Groening's
brother-in-law)
BABF07
I will not sell my kidney on eBay
Unlike most, if not all, of Bart's other
blackboard quotes, this one was not all caps (the "e" in
"eBay" was small);
also, Lisa writes "I will not do math in class" during the
show
BABF04
I will not create art from dung
A reference to an art exhibit in New York
City that included a portrait of the Virgin Mary splattered
with dung
BABF06
I will stop phoning it in
BABF08
Class clown is not a paid position
BABF09
Substitute teachers are not scabs
BABF10
My suspension was not "mutual"
BABF11
A belch is not an oral report
BABF12
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
BABF13
"Non-Flammable" is not a challenge
BABF14
I was not touched "there" by an angel
BABF16
I am not here on a fartball
scholarship
BABF15
I will not dance on anyone's grave
BABF18
I cannot hire a substitute student
BABF19
I will not obey the voices in my head
BABF21
None - Halloween Special
BABF20
I will not plant subliminal
messagores
The parts in green
appeared in green on the show
A reference to the "subliminal message" claim during the 2000
USA Presidential Election campaign; during a Republican
commercial, the word "RAT" appeared briefly while Democrats
were being mentioned
BABF17
I will not surprise the incontinent
When Fox aired the episode, every other line left out
the first R in "surprise"; this has been corrected
CABF01
I am not the acting President
A reference to the 2000 USA Presidential
election, whose winner had still not been determined when this
episode first aired
CABF04
I was not the sixth Beatle
CABF02
I will only provide a urine sample
when asked
CABF03
The nurse is not dealing
CABF06
Science class should not end in
tragedy
During the episode, Principal Skinner writes
"I ain't not a dorkus"
BABF22
Network TV is not dead
CABF05
I will not "let the dogs out"
CABF08
I will not hide the teacher's
medication
CABF07
I will not publish the Principal's
credit report
CABF10
The hamster did not have "a full life"
CABF12
I will not buy a Presidential pardon
A reference to ex-President Clinton granting
Presidential pardons to people who made donations/payments,
which might be "a conflict of interest"
CABF09
"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy
piece of crap
A reference to a Fox television series where
couples were sent to an island filled with singles to test
their commitment
CABF11
I will not scare the Vice President
A reference to USA Vice-President Dick Cheney
being in the hospital with a heart condition
CABF13
I will not flush evidence
CABF14
Fire is not the cleanser
CABF15
Genetics is not an excuse
CABF16
Today is not Mothra's day
Originally aired on Mother's Day (May 13),
2001
CABF17
I should not be twenty-one by now
He would be 21 in the 12th season if he was
10 in the first season, which ended in 1990, and he aged
normally
CABF19
None - Halloween Special
CABF22
Nobody reads these anymore
CABF20
A burp in a jar is not a science
project
CABF18
Fun does not have a size
CABF21
I am not Charlie Brown on acid
DABF02
I do not have a cereal named after me
When this episode first aired, he did -
Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch (along with
Homer's Cinnamon Donut Cereal)
DABF04
I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers
Probably a response to a gag in DABF03 when Butterfingers (which featured commercials with the Simpsons in
them at one time) were thrown into a fire but wouldn't burn, and the response was "Even the fire doesn't want them"
DABF06
The giving tree is not a chump
DABF07
Making Milhouse cry is not a science
project
DABF08
Vampire is not a career choice
DABF14
I will never lie about being cancelled again
A reference to Matt Groening commenting in an interview that the show was "closer to winding it up" (and then claiming he was "misquoted and misunderstood")
DABF20
Fish do not like coffee
DABF21
Milhouse did not test cootie positive
EABF04
This school does not need a "regime change"
EABF06
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
EABF05
I will not
Bart then chops up the blackboard with an axe
EABF14
My pen is not a booger launcher
EABF16
Sandwiches should not contain sand
FABF01
Over forty & single is not funny
FABF08
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
FABF22
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
GABF05
Beer in a milk carton is not milk
GABF15
A booger is not a bookmark
GABF18
Does any kid still do this anymore?
HABF03
I am not smarter than the President
HABF04
Teacher was not dumped -- it was
mutual
HABF08
I will not laminate dog doo
The live-action opening used the first time this episode aired in the USA repeated the 9F10 opening
HABF09
I will not flip the classroom upside down
The classroom was flipped upside-down (well, rotated 180 degrees) while he was writing this
HABF13
I will not leak the plot of the movie
HABF14
Je ne parle pas Français
HABF16
Have a great summer, everyone
HABF20
A Baby Beat Me Up
Written by Principal Skinner
HABF21
We are not all naked under our clothes
JABF01
Frankincense is not a monster
JABF07
So Long Suckers
JABF06
Global warming did not eat my homework
JABF13
I will not look up what teacher makes
JABF12
Pearls are not oyster barf
Movie
I will not illegally download this movie
JABF20
I will not wait 20 years to make another movie
JABF18
The Wall Street Journal is better than ever
...now that Rupert Murdoch owns it
JABF19
I am not an FDIC-insured bank
JABF22
There is no such thing as an iPoddy
JABF17
The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens
KABF02
The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"
KABF03
Teacher did not pay too much for her condo
KABF06
The art teacher is fat, not pregnant
KABF10
A person's a person no matter how Ralph
A reference to "A person's a person, no matter how small" from Horton Hears a Who!
KABF12
This punishment is not medieval.
The lines are written in a medieval style, complete with large first letter - and there is a period at the end of each line
KABF15
Teacher's diet is working
KABF14
There's no such month as "Rocktober"
KABF18
I did not see teacher siphoning gas
KABF20
Prosperity is just around the corner
I will not bring the chalkboard home
Written on a chalkboard in front of the couch, during the couch gag
KABF21
Jesus is not mad his birthday is on Christmas
KABF22
I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard
LABF01
HDTV is worth every cent
This is the first episode produced in high definition
LABF02
"March Madness" is not an excuse for missing school
LABF03
I will not have fun with educational toys
LABF11
Four-leaf clovers are not mutant freaks
LABF05
My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds
The second time this episode aired, on 6/28/09, the opening was replaced with an airing of the "Do
the Bart, Man" video in tribute to Michael Jackson, who died three days earlier
LABF07
I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone
LABF08
I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy
LABF12
It's "Facebook," not "Assbook"
LABF13
The class hamster isn't just sleeping
LABF15
Chalkboarding is not torture
LABF16
I am not allergic to long division
LABF17
I do not have the hots for my mom
LABF18
Halloween does not kick Thanksgiving's ass
LABF19
Teachers' unions are not ruining the country
LABF20
The world may end in 2012 but this show won't
A reference to the fact that the Mayan calendar stops at some point in 2012
MABF07
World War II could not beat up World War I
MABF08
Hot dogs are not bookmarks
MABF09
This counts as gym and art class
MABF14
South Park - we'd stand beside you if we weren't so scared
This appeared four days after Comedy Central censored an episode of South Park for even mentioning Muhammad, presumably after threats were made
Also, when the episode first aired, some stations aired "Je ne suis pas Français" (a slight variation on the HABF14 quote) instead of the South Park quote
MABF13
Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present
MABF11
Batman is not "nothing without his utility belt"
MABF15
End of "Lost": It was all the dog's dream. Watch us.
This first appeared on the same night as the last episode of Lost
MABF21
When I slept in class, it was not to help Leo DiCaprio
MABF17
I did not see teacher applying for welfare
MABF18
I must not write all over the walls
It was written over all of the classroom's walls
NABF02
"A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" is as good as "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
MABF19
Candy canes are not elf bones
NABF03
January is not Bart History Month
NABF05
Prince is not the son of Martin Luther King
NABF06
I will not make fun of Cupid's dink
NABF08
I'm not here on a spitball scholarship
NABF09
"Daylight Savings" is not a failed bank
NABF10
I will not ridicule teacher's Final Four bracket
I'm a grown man who's scared of his own son
Written by Homer
NABF13
I do not deserve a Mother's Day gift for being "one badass mother"
NABF14
It's Kristen Schaal, not Kristen Schall
It was spelled "Kristen Schall" in NABF13's closing credits
Guinea pigs should not be used as "guinea pigs"
May have been used in some broadcasts in place of the Kristen Schaal quote
NABF17
It's not too early to speculate about the 2016 election
NABF21
It's November 6 -- how come we're not airing a Halloween show?
In the USA, Halloween specials aired in November from 2000 through 2010 (except in 2008) because of
baseball World Series coverage (in fact, the term "Halloween Special" stopped being used because of this)
PABF02
"Caucus" is not a dirty word
NABF18
Cafeteria trays are not toboggans
PABF03
Tintin did not sucksuck
PABF04
We do need no education
PABF05
There's no proven link between raisins and boogers
PABF06
I will not replace a candy heart with a frog's heart
PABF07
Bart's earned a day off
Written by Milhouse, with Bart looking on
I {heart} the breakdown of society
Bart spraypaints this on an interior wall of an abandoned building
PABF11
The true location of Springfield is in any state but yours
PABF15
Call your mother during the commercials
PABF21
I will not wear white after Labor Day
Bart is wearing a white suit when he writes this
PABF18
Mousetraps are not slippers
Bart mentions writing this
A gentleman doesn't ask, and a lady doesn't tell
Lisa suggests this to Bart
PABF16
I will not concede the election till Karl Rove gives me permission
PABF19
I want to secede but don't know which state I'm in
PABF22
20 more shoplifting days till Christmas
RABF02
Teacher did not get fat over the holidays
RABF03
I will obey Oscar® campaign rules from now on
A reference to Maggie Simpson in: The Longest Daycare being nominated for the Oscar for Animated Short Film
...and yes, the ® is part of the quote
RABF07
I was not nominated for "Best Spoken Swear Word"
Originally aired on the night of the 2013 Grammy Awards
RABF05
I will not tweet as the principal's toilet
RABF09
I'm sorry I broke the blackboard
This is written on a whiteboard
I will make your life a living hell
Written by someone, but we don't see who
RABF10
Jesus's last words were not "TGIF"
This was meant to be an Easter episode, even though it aired two weeks earlier
RABF12
This School Is Not Falling Apart
The blackboard falls apart as Bart leaves
RABF20
25 years and they can't come up with a new punishment
RABF16
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
RABF18
We'll really miss you Mrs. K.
A reference to Marcia Wallace's death on 10/25/2013
This appeared on just one line (the rest of the blackboard was blank), and is the only time a blackboard quote refers to Mrs. Krabappel by name rather than "Teacher"
(probably because she goes by different names in other countries)
RABF22
My school schedule does not include a bye week
RABF19
Rocktober is not followed by Blowvember
SABF04
I will stop asking when Santa goes to the bathroom
SABF01
I will not call my teacher "Prancer" and "Vixen"
SABF03
(first airing) Judas Priest is not "Death Metal"
...which is what they were called in SABF05
(subsequent airings) If you haven't broken your Christmas presents yet, you're not trying
SABF08
Instead of quotes, there is a single-elimination (knockout) style bracket of characters, with Homer and Jasper in the final
SABF09
My dad's already drunk for St. Patrick's
SABF14
April showers do not bring Matt Lauers
You can't play April Fool's jokes on April 27th
Used for the online and streaming versions of this episode, as well as some broadcast stations in the USA;
presumably written for other countries, where they don't know who Matt Lauer is
Note that the "th" is in lowercase letters
SABF20
Spoiler Alert: unfortunately, my dad doesn't die
When this episode first aired, commercials noted that a character would die
The Family Guy Simpsons crossover episode "The Simpsons Guy" first aired on the same night as SABF20,
and at the end, Stewie wrote on a blackboard in his room:
I will not think about Bart anymore
SABF21
Eternal damnation is the only just punishment for the unbaptized
Carved by a student with his finger
TABF03
Reindeer meat does not taste like chicken
TABF05
Snowmen don't have carrot penises
TABF07
Pixel art is not real art
This was in "8-bit" format, along with the rest of the opening
TABF12
I will not pay my sister to do my punishment
Written by Lisa, with Bart watching
TABF16
I will not fight the future
Appears on an electronic screen
VABF07
Hershey kisses do not drop from Cupid's butt
VABF10
If Villanova doesn't win we lose everything
A reference to the 2016 NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Championship Game, which took place the night after this episode first aired (by the way, Villanova won on a 3-point shot at the buzzer)
VABF11
Never lose a bet to Bart Simpson
Written by Principal Skinner, with Bart watching
VABF12
Dad swears he'll get his taxes in soon
VABF14
Dirty clothes are not a Mother's Day gift
VABF15
Milhouse does not live below the puberty line
VABF20
This arm needs Tommy John surgery
VABF18
I will stop losing 50% of my NFL lead-in
VABF21
The first episode of the second 600
VABF19
Being right sucks
A reference to the Season 11 episode "Bart to the Future," which "predicts" that Donald Trump would be President of the USA someday
WABF01
I will watch all 600 episodes without sleeping
A reference to FXX airing the first 600 episodes back-to-back starting four days after the episode first aired
WABF07
If we're so good at predicting how come my dad bet on Atlanta
Note there was no punctuation in the quote
WABF09
We're the only house where the Christmas tree is still up
WABF11
Studying is not "appropriating nerd culture"
I Did Nothing Wrong This Week
Everybody's a Winner
Written by Lisa
WABF13
I just wrote one and I'm already tired
Written by Grampa, and he stops after one line
WABF15
Thank you for 28 great years...Taylor Swift
He was a little early; she turned 28 in December, 2017
WABF16
It's unfair to judge a President on his first 300 days
WABF19
Hooligan is not a profession
I Will Not
Bart writes this five times simultaneously
WABF20
I will not ask my guidance counselor why he couldn't get a better job
WABF21
We do lot live in our own pee
Bart is a fish
XABF02
Snow angels are not frozen hobos
XABF04
Strangling is not an effective parenting tool
Homer writes it, as Bart watches
XABF08
This is the last episode
Bart flips the blackboard over; the quote becomes, "April Fool"
XABF07
April Showers did not date the President
A reference to Stormy Daniels, who claimed at the time that she had an affair with President Trump
XABF11
I will not bet with Bart on the Final Four
Homer writes it, as Bart watches
I will not order pregnant rats
Bart writes this on the driveway; when the rain washes it away, Marge makes him do it again
YABF01
My pre-Christmas behavior really helps the coal industry
YABF02
The fat man who works one night a year is my dad
YABF03
My New Year's resolution was to quit school
YABF07
Chili fries do not go in like a lamb and out like a lion
YABF08
Like SABF08, but this time Krusty beats Apu in the "final"
YABF11
I am not a grandmother
Unlike, perhaps, Nancy Cartwright?
YABF12
I will not write "Audit Please" on Homer's tax return
YABF14
Haw Haw!
Bart flips the chalkboard over to reveal Nelson taped to it
YABF16
None, but during the episode, Bart writes "I will not shirk my responsibilities," only for Marge to take over for him
ZABF02
Daylight Savings isn't something I can spend
ZABF04
Idle hands are the devil's tool
Written by Todd Flanders...with both hands at once
ZABF05
Teacher spent New Year's Eve at home by choice
ZABF11
Bart is at a doctor's appointment
Written by Lisa
YABF13
School online
This appears on one line, and Bart is not present; it is a reference to most schools being closed because of the COVID-19 pandemic
I must not write on mountain
Bart carves this onto the side of a mountain during the couch gag
ZABF12
How did the boy get me to do this?
Homer writes it, with Bart watching
ZABF13
I will stop reminding the principal I have a later bedtime than he does
QABF01
I will not put laxatives in Santa's cookies
QABF05
I will never be a teacher's pet
This is in a photo; there is also an image of "We'll really miss you, Mrs. K" from RABF18
QABF13
I will not take advantage of Milhouse
This is in a photo, and being written by Milhouse
QABF16
I hate rhyming couplets
Written by Bart in "The Telltale Bart"
UABF11
I will not express my feelings through chaos
Written near the end of the episode
UABF15
I will not violate the law of entropy
This takes place at the end of the episode, where a show opening is running backwards
OABF06
I will not attempt the salvation of a bureaucrat
Written by Ned
OABF13
I will not try to cram 750 characters into the opening credits
A considerable number of characters appear throughout the opening, which is for the 750th episode
35ABF17
I will not get detention just to practice cursive
Lisa writes this, in cursive (and with her right hand)
Last updated on November 10, 2024 by Don Del Grande (ddelgran@simpsonsarchive.com) |