Treehouse of Horror X                                Written by Donick Spooky,
                                                          Terrifying Tim Long,
                                                              and Uh, An Ogre?
                                          Directed by Pete Scary Spice Michels
==============================================================================
Production code: BABF01                   Original Airdate on FOX: 31-Oct-1999
Capsule revision B (30-Oct-2000)
==============================================================================
> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
   None submitted.

   [If you use these summaries to determine if you found the right capsule,
   here's a TV Guide-like synopsis:  This year's Halloween special presents
   the traditional trio of fantastic stories.  First, the Simpsons
   accidentally kill Flanders and must cover up the death -- until he returns
   from the grave.  Next, Bart and Lisa are superheroes who must save "Xena"
   actress Lucy Lawless.  Finally, a Y2K bug in Homer's computer throws the
   world into chaos.  -- Ed.]

==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Blackboard:     None; special opening.

Couch:          [Discussed within the "Quote and Scene Summary" section]

==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
   ... for the couch scene, the most of family members appear as characters
       from previous Halloween specials?  Homer is the Jack-in-the-box from
       "ToH II," Marge the witch from "ToH VIII," Bart has the fly head from
       the same episode, and Maggie is the alien baby from "ToH IX."  Ax-
       victim Lisa is new, though.
   ... the writers' credit now appears at the start of each segment?
   ... "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening was among those in the Collector's
       lair?
   ... Grampa dozes off at the start of the New Year?

Don Del Grande:
   ... while the title credit read "The Simpsons Halloween Special X", the
       voiceover said "The Simpsons 10th Halloween Special"?
   ... both Kang and Kodos were wearing black tie, despite one of them being a
       female?
   ... Martin had a reasonably "normal" costume (pirate) rather than something
       like his muse costume in THOH3?
   ... there were no parents at the candy inspection?  (What kids do this sort
       of thing voluntarily?)
   ... the force of the stands falling on Lisa was (somehow) strong enough to
       knock her boots off?
   ... The Collector used the term "Doctor Who" to refer to the main character
       from that show, when he should have been smart enough to know his name
       is just "The Doctor"?
   ... for that matter, the Doctor he had was Tom Baker?
   ... all of the people The Collector had were in costume, except Matt
       Groening?

Daniel L. Dreibelbis:
   ... one of the "desirables" waiting in line to get on the rocket was none
       other than Frank Grimes?  [Does that guy bounce back from adversity or
       what? -- Ed.]

Anonymous Fan:
   ... Smithers was at the Xena convention?

Rebecca Gedalius:
   ... Bart's legs make the rope that is used to hold them over the Lucite?

Curtis Gibby:
   ... the jack-o-lantern's eyes (which were really Kang's and Kodos')
       blinked?
   ... the last shot of the first segment and the first shot of the second
       segment were the same (a full moon with clouds)?
   ... the symbol representing the artist formerly known as Yeardley Smith
       looks kinda like a stick figure upside down?

Joe Green:
   ... Saddam Hussein appears in the "Stretch Boy and Clobber Girl" opening
       sequence?
   ... CBG's car resembles a Mitsubishi Colt?

Richard Green:
   ... one of the aliens in the audience in the beginning looked just like
       Abe?
   ... that guy from Futurama [Kif Kroker -- Ed.] can be seen in the upper
       right corner of the audience screen?
   ... MOE made a crank call!?
   ... the wolf looks like the Alaskan Timberwolf from "Marge Gets a Job?"
   ... the writing all over OFF's living room strongly resembles the writing
       from the study in 2F03?
   ... [the Collector's prizes] were all being held in giant version of slips
       used to preserve comic books?
   ... Bart & Lisa continue to wear the same costumes from the beginning of
       the 2nd act all throughout it?
   ... some of the plastic slips can be seen being held up with giant black
       paper clips?
   ... Kirk was flirting with Ruth Powers?  (What a great couple they'd make
       ... who knows what awaits ...!)
   ... uh oh ... looks like the Where Is Springfield debate is FINALLY over?
       According to the map in act 3, SNPP is in OREGON ...  or possibly
       Missouri (except for Abe's remark about it before)!
   ... Executive Producer (!) George Meyer didn't have a nickname?

R. David Hatten:
   ... Luke Perry is on board the ship of the doomed, sitting right in front
       of Al Sharpton?

Tony Hill:
   ... Kang and Kodos appear without their bubbles?
   ... Lovejoy thinks Homer is Ned's best friend?
   ... most of the audience for Lucy Lawless wears glasses?

Darrel Jones:
   ... this is the first time a werewolf appears on a Halloween special?
   ... CBG actually rates something "Best Ever"?
   ... the Simpsons' waffle iron is back from the shop?  (See 4F02)

Joe Klemm:
   ... Bumblebee Guy was at McDonald's when Springfield blacks-out?
   ... Prof. Frink was important to the new life on Mars?

Rebecca Lamey:
   ... the spaceships and Stephen Hawking's wheelchair are still working
       during the Y2K disaster?

Ondre Lombard:
   ... Homer is eating a cereal that doesn't seem to exist anymore? (Along
       with singing it's equally antiquated cartoon ad jingle.)
   ... the family is huddled together on the couch in the living room in the
       dark at some ungodly hour for no apparent reason?
   ... there are not more female fans at the convention since Xena's core fan
       base is women (and lesbians)?  [This is debatable, I think -- Ed.]
   ... both "Futurama" and "The Simpsons" have now spoofed the Dick Clark New
       Years Rockin' Eve special?
   ... the waffle iron looks just as bad as it did when Homer made his "Space
       Age Out of This World Moon Waffle" in 9F01?
   ... Marge is not offended by that overly practical and insensitive present?
   ... our "best and brightest" are a bunch of entertainers (and scummy
       businessmen) rather than the thousands of scientists, chemists, et al.
       from around the world?
   ... all these entertainers are living in Springfield?

Adam Long:
   ... Sherri and Terri are swinging a rope but nobody's jumping it?
   ... Moe mistook Homer for Maude even after he said "Hello?"
   ... SNPP in the background of the lake?
   ... SES has been toilet papered?
   ... Lisa literally "kicks ass" when the music implies?
   ... now every main Simpson (except Maggie) has met President Clinton?
   ... Bart can punch through the wall even without super strength?
   ... Grampa is asleep during the New Year's countdown?
   ... the eerie rendition of "Auld Lang Syne"?
   ... Springfield finally has a McDonald's?  (assuming they were all
       Springfield shots)
   ... an "El Bart" (not Barto) in the background when the razor attacks
       Marge?
   ... Otto looting the parking meter?
   ... Jimbo and Kearney stealing golf supplies?
   ... Cletus throws a rock at the Golf Shop window?
   ... the mailboxes running amok?
   ... all 3 of this season's previous episodes were referenced?

Patrick McGovern:
   ... only Tom Arnold is an actual guest voice on the doomed rocket?

Evan Ross:
   ... werewolf Flanders still has his mustache?
   ... Chief Wiggum is the one that starts the looting?

Mike Smith:
   ... the alien audience's reaction was dubbed out-of-sync?
   ... it's the first time the writer credits appeared in each of the three
       stories?
   ... it's the second straight year that the middle story has Bart & Lisa
       getting irradiated?
   ... Milhouse is dressed as Radioactive Man, rather than Fallout Boy?
   ... the Fox logo doesn't appear anywhere in the final story (No wonder --
       they not Y2K-hooked)?

Alexander Sargent Woods:
   ... Skinner wasn't shocked by Lisa's strength, but rather her calling him,
       "poindexter"?
   ... the phaser has a firing pin?
   ... Harry Shearer's character "Derek Smalls" is the bass player for
       Whitesnake/Quiet Riot/RATT?  [Could we call this band "Quiet White
       Rat"? -- Ed.]
   ... Springfield is definitely not on a coast and has a river next to it?

==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
   - Dan Casketaneta (Kodos, Homer, Abe, Krusty)
   - Julie Kadavner (Marge)
   - Nympho Nance Cartwright (Bart, Nelson)
   - The Artist F. K. A. Yeardley (Lisa)
   - Scary Connelly (Moe, Wiggum, Lou, Frink, Collector, Carl)
   - Harry "Dead Till 2005" Shearer (Announcer, Kang, Maggie, Lovejoy, Flanders,
        Skinner, Bassist/Derek Smalls, Lenny, Guard, Pauly Shore)

- Special Guest Voice
   - Tom Arnold (Himself)
   - Dick Clark (Himself)
   - Lucy Lawless (Xena, er, herself)
   - Frank Welker (Were-Flanders)

- Also Starring
   - Pamela Heebie-Jeebies Hayden (Milhouse)
   - Tress MacNihilist (Rosie O'Donnel)
   - Mummy Mitzman-Gaven (Maude Flanders)
   - Karloff Bleed-Her-Gut (Lead Guitarist?, Drummer, Rick James?)

==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
   + "Family Guy" (TV series)  {dj}
      - Maggie shooting Lisa similar to Stewie

   + "Death Takes a Holiday" (movie)  {bjr}
      - Ron Hauge becomes Death Takes A Hauge Day

   + "Frankenstein" (movie)  {bjr}
      - Frank Mula becomes Frank-enstein Drac-Mula

   + "Dracula" (movie)  {bjr}
      - the other half of the Frank Mula two-fer

   + "Ishtar" (movie)  {al}
      - Jim "Ishtar" Reardon recalls this flop 1987 movie with Warren Beatty
        and Dustin Hoffman

   - the Spice Girls (musical group, sort of)  {bjr}
      - Pete Scary Spice Michels pokes fun at one of the Girls

   - "Psycho" (movie)  {bjr}
      - Norman "Bates" MacLeod takes advantage of the similarity between his
        name and the name of this movie's lead character

   + "I Know What You Did Last Summer" (movie)

   + "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" (another movie)  {dld}
      - title and plot based on movie is about teens who accidentally kill a
        man, and then cover it up; he takes revenge from the dead
      - the raincoat and hook are from this movie  {er}

   + Super Sugar Crisp (cereal)  {tr}
      - Homer eats the cereal and sings part of the commercial jingle.

   - "South Park" (TV cartoon)  {tr}
      - "Oh my God, we've killed Ned Flanders!" reminiscent of "Oh my God,
        they've killed Kenny!"  (It would have been a better pun to have Maude
        say "Oh my God, they've killed Neddy!")
      - Alien "probes."  {ol}

   + "Weekend at Bernie's (movie)"
      - attempting to make a corpse appear alive

   + O.J. Simpson murder case
      - Homer says he's "Still looking for the real killers"

   + "Nightmare on Elm Street" (movie)
      - Sherri and Terri eerily jumping rope similar  {al}
      - Matt Selman transformed to Nightmare on Selman Street  {bjr}

   + "Scream" (movie)  {jk}
      - Moe's phone call

   - "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret" (book)  {bjr}
      - Homer's prayer similar to book title

   + "The Fugitive" (TV series)  {th}
      - the abandoned amusement park might be a ref to the climactic final
        episode

   + "Pet Semetary" (novel)
      - Homer tells Lisa to hide in the pet cemetery

   + "Friday the 13th" (movie)  {tr}
      - Skinny-dipping in stream where teenagers had been killed

   + "An American Werewolf in London" (movie)
      - Being attacked by a werewolf on a foggy road

   + "Desperately Seeking Susan" (movie)
      - title parodies Madonna/Rosanna Arquette film

   + Amelia Earhart (pilot)  {er}
      - Lisa is dressed like her

   + "Archie" (comic book series)  {bjr}
      - Nelson is wearing a Jughead hat  (Jughead, a lanky hamburger lover, is
        one of the goofy "comic relief" characters)

   + "Duck and Cover" (1950s educational strip)  {ol}
      - Skinner advises "duck and cover" just like the cartoon turtle does in
        this nuclear war educational strip.

   + "The Wizard of Oz" (movie)  {dp}
      - Lisa's feet stick out from beneath the bookshelves which is
        reminiscent of the scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy's house
        falls on the Wicked Witch

   + "The Fantastic Four" (comic book heroes)  {jk}
      - Bart and Lisa's powers similar to Reed Richards and the Thing's powers
      - Lisa's "Clobber Girl" references the Thing's "It's clobberin' time!"
        {tr}

   + Plastic Man (comic book hero)
      - Bart's super stretch power reminds me of this old cartoon show [See
        "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]  {dj} - his uniform is similar,
        too  {bjr}

   ~ Clabber Girl (baking powder)  {jg2}
      - Clobber Girl name similar

   + "The Flintstones" (TV series)  {bjr}
      - "Clobber Girl" body-slams someone while shaking his hand, like Bamm-
        Bamm often did

   ~ "Powerpuff Girls" (TV series)  {bjr}
      - premise of this short similar to PPG episode "Collect Her:" crazed
        comic book enthusiast kidnaps hero for his collection
      - villain distraught over opening of "collector item's" original
        packaging
      - [{bjr} goes on to say, "This is most likely a coincidence, since
        "Collect Her" aired just a few months before this episode, but it does
        show how great minds think alike" -- Ed.]

   + "Xena, Warrior Princess" (TV series)  {tr}
      - Lucy Lawless is dressed as her famous TV character
      - [Also, people keep mistaking her for the character -- Ed.]

   - "Get a Life, People!" ("Saturday Night Live" sketch)  {dld}
      - a famous Saturday Night Live sketch in which William Shatner
        confronted a bunch of Trekkers who asked the same sort of dumb
        questions Lucy Lawless was fielding from Professor Frink

   ~ "Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down" (movie)  {hl}
      - obsessed fan kidnaps actress

   + "Star Trek"  (series of TV series)  {hl}
      - 7 of 9 from Voyager and Spock in Collectors' lair.
      - William Shatner did sing a hammy album with a memorable rendition of
        "Lucy ... in the Sky ... With Diamonds"  [See "Comments" section for
        more -- Ed.]
      - "Best Death Ever" statement is up to par with Kirk's Death in
        Generations

   + "Batman" (TV series)  {hl}
      - similar music, plot
      - the Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl scene shift card similar  {jk}

   - "Superfriends" (TV series)  {jg2}
      - scene shift card similar to this, too

   + Superman (comic book hero)
      - vulnerable to kryptonite, as Superman is
      - also the source of Mr. Mxyzptlk  {dj}
      - desperate villains would throw their gun at Superman after all their
        bullets bounced off him  {dh}

   + "Star Trek" (TV series)  {tr}
      - Spock is among the collector's victims.

   + "Gilligan's Island" (TV series)  {tr}
      - Gilligan is also in the collection.

   + "Lost in Space" (TV series)  {jg2}
      - CBG has the Robot in his collection

   + "Doctor Who" (TV series)  {tr}
      - The Fourth Doctor from this series is in this collection (And gets to
        be next to Lucy Lawless for eternity, lucky Time Lord)

   + "Star Wars" (Movie series)
      - The Collector wants Lucy Lawless to call him Obi-Wan  {tr}
      - CBG using Darth Maul's lightsaber  {jk}

   + "Iron Man" (comic book hero)  {tr}
      - The Collector also wants Lucy Lawless to call him this

   + "The Smurfs" (TV series)  {tr}
      - The Collector wants Ms. Lawless to call him "Papa Smurf" as well
        (shudder)

   + "Battlestar Galactica" (TV movies)
      - The Collector mentions the movies and actor Lorne Green  {tr}
      - a Cylon (the robotic enemy from "Battlestar Galactica") [is] in the
        audience for Kang and Kodos' opener  {gc}

   + "Life's a bitch, and then you die" (popular saying)  {jc}
      - "Life's A Glitch, And Then You Die" spoofs this

   + "Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve" (TV specials)  {tr}
      - Annual New Year's Eve countdown show, hosted by Dick Clark

   + "The Terminator"  {dld}
      - Dick Clark's metal skeleton similar to the Terminator's

   + "Maximum Overdrive" (movie)  {jk}
      - machines run amok and try to kill humans
      - [Coincidentally, Yeardley Smith appeared in this film -- Ed.]
      - [And I'm sure she's just delighted that people keep mentioning it --
        Ed.]

   - "Le Voyage Dans La Lune (From The Earth To The Moon)" (movie)  {hl}
      - similar 45 degree launching pad seen in 1902 film

   + "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" (book series)  {hl}
      - useless people tricked into evacuating in another spaceship
      - [{er} says the specific book is, "The Restaurant at the End of the
        Universe" -- Ed.]

   + "Deep Impact" (movie)  {jc}
      - restricting the people being saved from extinction to the best and the
        brightest

   + "When Worlds Collide" (movie)  {jk}
      - rocket ship for those leaving Earth to start a new civilization on
        Mars

   - "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?" by Philip K. Dick (book) (a.k.a.
      "Blade Runner")  {jc}
      - evacuating humanity from Earth to Mars in the wake of nuclear
        holocaust

==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- Kang & Kodos  {gg}
   - [7F04] K&K's first appearance
   - [8F02] K&K enslave the earth after it declares world peace
   - [9F04] K&K watch as Springfield is overrun with zombies
   - [1F04] K&K watch as the gremlin wrecks the bus
   - [2F03] K&K watch as Homer tries to get back to his normal time
   - [3F04] "Remember the story: we're newlyweds on our way to Earth Capital."
   - [4F02] K&K disguise themselves as Dole and Clinton
   - [5F02] K&K contact their parents when they are hit by the French missile
   - [AABF01] Kang is revealed as Maggie's father

- [7G12] Krusty's pacemaker  {ms}
- [7F13] Bart wants to look at pornography  {ol}
- [7F15], [AABF21] Revolving restaurant  {al2}
- [8F02] Homer as jack-in-the-box
- [8F07] Homer refers to Milhouse as a wiener  {rg}
- [9F04] One of the Simpson parents kills Ned Flanders  {gg}
- [9F05] Bart attacked by Alaska timberwolf  {hl}
- [9F11] Comic Book guy puckers up like Hans Moleman  {hl}
- [9F20] God punishes Ned for doing something "sinful"  {ol}
- [9F20] Jimmy Carter appears, albeit in statue form  {bjr}
- [1F11] Spike Lee appears  {jg2}
- [1F13] Someone's head blows up in outer space  {dj}
- [1F14], [AABF06] Homer is Ned's best friend  {dj}
- [1F16] "Zing!  Went the Strings of My Heart" is sung  {dj}
- [2F03] Scary message written repeatedly on the walls
- [2F08], [AABF05] Lost in Space Robot referenced  {ah}
- [2F16], [2F20] A Simpson nearly kills someone  {rg}
- [2F17] X-rays give someone superpowers  {jg2}
- [2F17] Milhouse in Radioactive Man movie  {ms}
- [3F01] "Diddily" appears in the title  {gg}
- [3F02] "Dear God, It's Me Margaret" referenced  {bjr}
- [3F03] "Lisa the Vegetarian" - Paul McCartney appears  {al2}
- [3F04] Sinister messages written on the wall  {jg2}
- [3F08] Dr. Who appears  {bjr}
- [3F12] reference to Krusty's pacemaker  {rg}
- [3F12] Krusty is believed to be dead  {jg2}
- [3G04] Bob Denver appears  {bjr}
- [4F05] Homer refers to Milhouse as a wiener  {th}
- [4F12] A comic book signing takes place  {hl}
- [4F12] Convention of nerds pepper celebrity with questions about asinine
         continuity errors
- [4F20] Mid-show theme songs  {rg}
- [5F02] Bart as half-fly
- [5F02] Marge in her witch's garb
- [5F05] The scientist from this episode appears  {al2}
- [5F11] Bill Gates appears  {al2}
- [5F15] Bart and Lisa have a TV show  {rg}
- [5F19] Ron Howard appears  {al2}
- [AABF01] Maggie as half-alien  {bjr}
- [AABF01] Bart & Lisa get [zapped with] radiation  {ms}
- [AABF06] "I Know What You Did Last Summer" is referenced  {hl}
- [AABF06] Homer and Ned on OFF's roof  {jg2}
- [AABF06] Vultures attack Homer and Ned  {hl}
- [AABF09] "... And that's the end of that chapter."  {gg}
- [AABF18] Stephen Hawking appears  {al2}
- [AABF22] Mark McGwire appears
- [AABF23] Mel Gibson appears  {al2}

==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Special Halloween credits  {ddg}

    (Note ^3 refers to a 3 as an exponent/superscript, and something
     that looked like Prince's "symbol" appeared above "(The Artist
     F.K.A. Yeardley)" - by the way, F.K.A. means "formerly known as")

    [Opening Credits]

    Created by GRAT MOANING
    Developed by MAIMS HELL BROOKS
                  BAT GROANING
                  SAM "SAYONARA" SIMON
    Co-Executive Producers IAN MAXGROAN-DAMNED
                            DEATH TAKES A HAGUE DAY
    Co-Executive Producers DANIEL "DAN" GREANEY
                            DONICK CRAZY
                            FRANK-ENSTEIN DRAC-MULA
    Supervising Producers GHOULIE HACKER
                           LARINA + DEAD = ADAMSON
    Producers LARRY DOYLE!!!
               TOMB MARTIN
               CAROLYN OMEN
    Producers JOHN FRINK^3
               DON "EXCRUCIATING" PAYNE
    Co-Producers NIGHTMARE ON SELMAN STREET
                  TIM I-SCARE-YOU-LONG-TIME
    Consulting Producers TOM G-G-G-GAMMILL
                          AXE PROSS
                          DAVE "MONSTER HIT" MIRKIN
    Consultant TRIPLE ADMIRAL JOHN SWARTZWELDER
    Supervising Director JIM ISHTAR REARDON
    Produced by RICHARD "ALLEN" RAYNIS
                 BONDAGE PIETILA
    Produced by DSIRKOT@THEGHOULARDILOUNGE.COM
                 RICHARD NONCONFORMING SAKAI
    Directed by PETE SCARY SPICE MICHELS
    Written by DONICK SPOOKY (I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did)
                TERRIFYING TIM LONG (Desperately Xeeking Xena)
                UH, AN OGRE? (Life's a Glitch, Then You Die)

    [Closing credits]

    Executive Producers MIKE "INSERT SCARY NAME" SCULLY
                         GEORGE MEYER
                         AL "I STILL MURDERED MIKE REISS" JEAN
    Executive Producers MAIMS HELL BROOKS
                         MATT GRUESOME
                         SAM "SAYONARA" SIMON
    Starring DAN CASKETANETA
              JULIE KADAVENER
              "NYMPHO-NANCE" CARTWRIGHT
              (THE ARTIST F.K.A. YEARDLEY)
              SCARY CONNELLY
          and HARRY "DEAD TIL 2005" SHEARER
    Special Guest Voice TOM ARNOLD
                         DICK CLARK
                         LUCY LAWLESS
                         FRANK WELKER
    Also Starring MUMMY MITZMAN GAVEN
                   PAMELA "HEEBIE-JEEBIES" HAYDEN
                   TRESS MACNIHILIST
                   KARLOFF BLEED-HER-CUT
    Animation Producer MORBID MIKE
    Line Producer THE REMAINS OF LAURIE BIERNACKI
    Animation Executive Producers LOLEE "LUGOSI" ARIES
                                  HALOED GREAT PUMPKIN DAVID PRITCHARD
    Associate Producer DOMI "BACKIN' THAT THANG UP" BRAUD
    Theme by THE BLOODY ELF
    Music Decomposed by SHEER TERROR CLAWS-SON
    Casting by BLOODBATH & BEYOND
    Editors SHELDON MICHAEL BRIDGE
             DEADLY DON BARROZO
             LYCANTHROPIC LEE HARTING
    Animation Production Manager for Gracie Films WRETCHED K. CHUNG
    Post Production Supervisor HEMORRHAGE BOY
    Post Production Coordinator Y2KAUFMAN
    Dialogue Sound Editors BOBBY "THE SCARY MOOK" MACKSTON
                            TELEMUNDO GREENE
                            NORMAN "BATES" MACLEOD
    Music Mercenaries LUDI-CHRIS
                       BOB "THE CREATURE" BEECHER
    Sound Effects Editor SIVART F. SREWOP
    Re-Recording Mixers RUSSELL "THE MUSCLE" SMITH
                         BILL FRANKENFREESH
    Creative Consultant BRAT GROENING
    Executive Creative Consultant MAIMS HELL BROOKS

- Church sign  {bjr}

     First Church
    of Springfield

     NED FLANDERS
    HUSBAND, FATHER
    WACKY NEIGHBOR

- Kids waiting to get their candy X-rayed

    Name (if known)/Costume

    Unknown / Witch
    Unknown / Ghost
    Lewis / Convict
    Unknown / Superman
    Unknown / Doctor
    Unknown / Star Trek Crewmember
    Unknown / Masked Superhero
    Unknown / Doctor
    Lisa / Amelia Earhart
    Unknown / Native American
    Bart / Superhero
    Sherri & Terri / Ballerinas
    Martin / Pirate
    Nelson / Jughead
    Ralph / Cop

- The people CBG collected  {jc}

    -- Yasmine Bleeth (as Caroline Holden)
    -- Lucy Lawless (as Xena)
    -- Dr. Who ({tdm} says it's Tom Baker's version)
    -- Matt Groening
    -- Jeri Ryan (as Seven of Nine)
    -- "Lost In Space" robot
    -- Bob Denver (as Gilligan)
    -- Leonard Nimoy (as Spock)

- Sign on rocket ship  {bjr}

    OPERATION EXODUS
    NONSTOP TO MARS

- People in line for the Exodus rocket (Starting at the front)  {gg}

    -- Nurse
    -- Bill Gates
    -- Ron Howard
    -- Jimmy Carter
    -- Stephen Hawking
    -- Mel Gibson
    -- Paul McCartney
    -- Unknown (some nerd with glasses)
    -- Michael Jordan
    -- The scientist from "Lisa the Skeptic"
    -- Michelle Kwan
    -- Mark McGwire
    -- Prof. Frink
    -- OFF

==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
*  Kang calls it the 10th anniversary show, but it's really the 9th
   anniversary of the first THOH.  {th}

+  When Kodos said Kang had to borrow a human brain, he sounded like Homer.
   {th}

*  Homer had a box of Super Sugar Crisp, but the word "Sugar" was replaced
   with "Honey" years ago.  {ddg}

*  After Ned announced that he was undead, his glasses should have broke when
   Homer poked him in the eye.  {ds}

*  Why would poking a stick at an eyeball make a squishing noise?  {ol}

-  The writing disappears from the door when Homer points.  {al2}

-  The boat painting in the couch scene was different -- it had more clouds
   than normal?  {cg}

=  Homer's seat belt disappears.  {al2}

*  Ned was bitten by a regular wolf, not a werewolf.  {al2}

+  When Marge hit Flanders, he was wearing glasses.  But when they replay it
   from Flanders' point of view, he wasn't wearing glasses.  {jc}

=  In the first act, the left side of the house had no windows, and in the 2nd
   act there was a window in the living room on that wall.  Both of these are
   incorrectly drawn.  {rg}

+  Why was Skinner at the funeral if he claimed in AABF06 that he didn't know
   who Flanders was?  {rg}

=  Ralph's apple should have gone through the x-ray machine first, but the
   Chief checks out two other treats before he finds the razor blade in the
   apple.  (One of them looks like a candy bar.)  {cg}

*  Lucy Lawless doesn't speak with her New Zealand accent.  {jc}

+  Didn't, in AABF06, the Comic Book Guy have a green Gremlin?  {er}

=  In the establishing shot of the Collector's dungeon, there wasn't a bag to
   the left of Lucy Lawless, just stairs, but later Yasmine Bleeth shows up
   there.  {cg}

=  The tape on Lucy Lawless' comic protector disappeared when it showed her
   from the back.  {ds}

*  Why couldn't Stretch Dude just stretch out his leg and grab something to
   pull them so they wouldn't drop into the Lucite?  {cg}

*  Just because one major computer isn't Y2K compliant doesn't mean that all
   computers will stop working.  [Tell that to the Y2K doomsday people -- Ed.]

*  Airlines are being careful not to have planes in the air to prevent then
   from not working due to Y2K.  [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]

+  Ruth appeared in the crowd outside Town Hall, even though we just saw her
   at the Simpson's party.  {rg}

*  Robert Urich was in 14 TV shows, not 11.  [Actually, more than that.  See
   "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]  {jc}

+  I don't remember an ice machine on OFF's refrigerator.  {er}

+  Frank Grimes appears in line ... isn't he dead?  {rg}

*  Why didn't Homer pass himself off as Krusty the Klown?  He had the
   invitations with him.  {bjr}

*  Lisa is expected on the rocket ship, but she didn't receive a letter.
   {al2}

*  What good was going to Mars?  There's no way anyone travelling there could
   survive.  At least Earth still had air and water -- for the moment, anyway.
   {ddg}

*  I don't think heads explode in space.  I think they would just suffocate.
   [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]  {dt}

==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Nate Birch:  [...]  The first story "I know what you diddily-iddly-did" was
   certainly the best, as it was one of the first serious attempts at horror
   movie parody a Halloween episode has taken on in a while, plus unlike most
   recent Halloween stories, it was actually more of a horror story than
   sci-fi.  "Desperately seeking Xena" was okay, it started off slow, but as
   soon as the comic book guy appeared it got a lot better, Lucy Lawless'
   guest performance was pretty good too.  I can see why no writer actually
   attached their name to the third, as it was just a bunch of semi-funny
   sight gags with a stupid predictable ending.  On the plus side this episode
   featured surprisingly good animation, that felt and looked genuinely
   spooky.  (B+)

Don Del Grande:  Much as I hate to say it, "worst Simpsons Halloween Special
   ever"; okay, the jokes were there, but none of the endings were anything to
   speak of (and in the case of the first story, the "sudden" ending stopped
   the story cold).  While they were at it, the superpowers story could have
   been better than a "Batman" clone.  (B+)

Nicolas Di Candia:  "I Know What You Diddily-Did": it would probably be better
   to me if I had seen "I Know What You Did Last Summer".  I, however, liked
   it, despite it being a little too fast moving.  "Desperately Xeeking Xena":
   the best segment this year.  Many good superhero references, plus a decent
   premise.  "Life's a Glitch, Then You Die": a good premise that was bad
   executed.  Good Y2K references, but I didn't buy the whole "leave earth"
   thing.  (B)

Joe Green:  "I Know What You Diddily-Did": This was mostly pretty weak, and
   the goofball plot twist didn't help.  "Desperately Xeeking Xena": I had
   trouble seeing how this constituted a horror story ... but ironically
   enough, it was the best segment.  The digs at CBG's fanboydom were sharper
   than usual.  "Life's a Glitch and Then You Die": Like the first part, this
   one had a weird out-of-left-field plot twist, but at least this time it was
   funny.  I liked the celebrity jokes, like Dick Clark turning out to be a
   robot and the whole Tom Arnold bit.  (B-)

Tony Hill:  I don't think this is one of the five best THOH episodes, but it
   had its moments.  It was interesting how many refs to past THOH eps there
   were in that one first shot of the family on the couch.  Working Xena in
   seemed to be a stretch, but I'll give it a  (B)

Dan Hogg:  Well, another Halloween episode come and gone.  First segment "I
   Know What You Diddily-Did": Kinda weak.  The refs to 'I Know What You Did
   ...' weren't that great.  Ned's corpse scene was funny, other good jokes
   here and there, but still weak.  The ending was pretty disgusting, though;
   "Desperately Xeeking Xena" was a bit better, because it was different.
   Nice comic book jokes.  "Life's A Glitch, Then You Die" has some funny Y2K
   jokes, and I liked the ship Homer and Bart were on.  The ending was also
   disgusting, though.  So, my overall grade for this is  (B-)

Darrel Jones:  A nice Halloween special, though not as good as last year's.
   The opening segment was okay.  The bit about Ned Flanders was just stupid.
   The part with Bart and Lisa as superheroes was an excellent Batman parody
   (or just superheroes in general), and I liked the evil Collector.  The Y2K
   part was absolutely freakin' hilarious, until the Simpson family got to the
   launch site.  Then, it was mission aborted.  A mixed bag.  I give it a 8/10
   (an extra point cuz it's Halloween).  (A-)

Perry Justus:  I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did: Lame.  Homer's
   characterization was absolutely abysmal, and Flanders's unnecessary
   "diddily's" were tiresome.  I can't think of anything positive about this
   one.  Desperately Xeeking Xena: The worst of the three Halloween
   installments. Absolutely ridiculous storyline, and despite that it's
   supposed to be a parody of "superhero" cartoons, it completely falls flat.
   Life's a Glitch, Then You Die: Probably the best of the three, but that's
   really not saying much.  The celebrity cameos were embarrassing, and
   Homer's stupidity has reached a new low.  The ending felt rushed, as well.
   Overall, absolutely pointless.  One of the worst, if not the worst, THoHs
   in recent years.  (D-)

Ondre Lombard:  The Treehouse of Horror premise -- like The Simpsons in
   general -- is getting old.  Though, this wasn't an especially bad episode.
   In fact, I think "I Know What You Did-Diddily-Id" was screaming to be a lot
   better than it actually was.  The way I'd sum it up is, there was one very
   good skit sandwiched between two very underachieving ones.  "Desperately
   Xeeking Xena" was great; well-timed, nicely put together, and hilarious.
   The last one had some good moments, but a lot of it was dumb and unnatural.
   When the THOH series turns into just an excuse to do absurdly unfeasible
   things rather than an actual horror installment, you know it's time to
   throw in the towel.  (B)

Patrick McGovern:  Overall, while I wasn't too hot on the last part, this was
   a stellar THoH offering (On par with last year's masterpiece).  Why can't
   they write this good all year?  (A)

Nicolas Orechwa:  This year's installment of the Halloween special was
   marginally better than last year's.  The best segment was the last one
   which I thought was a pretty good satire of the Y2K paranoia gripping the
   world at the moment.  The middle episode had its moments, but overall was
   unmemorable.  The first episode was not funny to begin with and then ended
   abruptly.  (C+)

Abhi Rey:  I found it hard to review this night's treehouse of horror.  The
   writing was very good, capturing the spooky tone of all the great Halloween
   specials.  The stories were surprisingly involving and colorful.  This
   episode did a much better job in maintaining the horror/sci-fi themes
   expected in a Halloween episode than last year's episode.  The problem:
   this episode's sense of humor struggled. There were some hilarious moments,
   like the theme song of "Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl", the Y2K-related
   disasters, Homer imitating Flanders, Homer blaming Marge of murder, Xena
   deciding not to free herself ...  There were also some cringing gags, such
   as the terribly-done celebrity-bashing, some of the Collector's scenes, and
   the comic-book satire wasn't nearly as great as it could have been.
   Overall, a good effort, but somewhat unsatisfying.  (B-)

Tom Rinschler:  OF the three parts, the second definitely stands out from the
   other two.  The first and third, while at times quite funny, seemed to lack
   direction, with plots that started in one place and ended in another.
   These two rate only slightly above average, based on humor alone.
   "Desperately Xeeking Xena", on the other hand, ranks among the best of the
   "THOH" shorts ever.  This section completely satirizes every comic book
   cliche, and, although I didn't think it was possible, makes the
   CBG/Collector even more of an overly-obsessive sci-fi/comic book fan than
   he is in the regular series.  Lucy Lawless shines in a section that had me
   ROFL from beginning to end.  (A-)

Evan Ross:  Eh, I don't know.  Last year's THoH was the best for a while, and
   this one was kind of disappointing.  "I Know What You Diddily-Did" was
   hyped up so much, I expected something really funny.  Instead, we got a
   pretty stupid ending with none of the horror at all.  I would have loved to
   have seen Ned hunt down the Simpsons.  "Desperately Xeeking Xena" was too
   much of an action short, and those don't really fit well with OFF's
   universe.  The Halloween part was little to none.  "Life's A Glitch ..."
   wasn't all that great either. It was just a rehash of "The Homega Man",
   except Bart was in it as well.  I hope this isn't the last THoH.  (C+)

Eric Sansoni:  The slickest and most enjoyable Halloween Special in 4 years.
   "Diddily-Did" was the spookiest, with mostly clever gags, but the plot
   needed more wrap-up.  Segment The Second was more of a Spin-off Showcase
   than a Treehouse of Horror, but no matter.  The parody of kiddie superhero
   shows, mixed with the most extended satire on "comic-book-guy" values to
   date, made this one of the wittiest shorts ever.  Even Xena's guest shot
   sparkled with invention.  The all-around great animation shined most in the
   visually complex Y2K short, but the Y2K stuff was more interesting than the
   funny, but more routine celebrity bashing detour at the end.  New(?) co-
   exec. producers Meyer & Jean may be pulling the show from its slump.  (A-)

Mike Smith:  Every year, a THOH is one of the highlights of the season.  A lot
   of fun from start to finish.  This year is no exception.  The couch gag is
   a classic! Act 1 is as what opening stories of previous THOHs have-a weak
   ending.  Act 2 is okay, but, the appearance of Lucy Lawless is great to
   watch again.  Act 3 give me the scare, I can't describe it.  Not the best
   THOH (Not as much as last year's), but, well worth watching a couple more
   times (As is THOH VI).  (A-)

Yours Truly:  The "Treehouse of Horror" is a reliable bright spot for the
   season, and the tradition continues this year.  "I Know What you
   Diddily-Iddly-Did" is this year's lone "horror" story; it starts great and
   has a good surprise ending, but still feels inconclusive.  The ending for
   "Life's a Glitch, Then You Die" does have closure but is faintly
   depressing.  (And the story will seem dated now that Y2K passed quietly.)
   "Desperately Xeeking Xena" is easily the best segment, thanks to bravura
   performances by Comic Book Guy and guest Lucy Lawless.  A little off last
   year's pace, but it's better than getting your yard T.P.'d.  (B+)

AVERAGE GRADE:  B (2.93)   Std Dev.: 0.9008   (26 reviews computed)

==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
>> Staff Notes

Capel Cleggs provides some behind-the-scenes information:  Since tonight's
   episode was, among other things, the first look we get at the new staff
   credits for season 11, I thought I'd point out a few things

   THE SIMPSONS now has six executive producers; this is probably a record for
   the show.  They also have the rather incredible total of five co-executive
   producers: Maxtone-Graham, Hauge, Cary, Greaney, and Frank Mula.

   George Meyer, after ten years on the show, is *finally* an executive
   producer.  About time too.  And Al Jean is an executive producer too, which
   means that he has executive-produced the show at *four* different times:
   the fourth season, the "extra" episodes in the sixth season, the "extra"
   episodes in the eighth season, and now season 11.

   Among those gone: David Stern (whoa, *that* was a short comeback), Jace
   Richdale (co-executive producer for two years and a consulting producer
   from seasons seven through ten), and Brian Scully.

   Julie Thacker, Mike Scully's wife, is still with the show, however.

   Mike Scully is still an executive producer, and the "show runner," which
   means that he's in charge of ... running the show.  Meyer and Jean are also
   executive producers, which I think basically means that a) They have a lot
   of authority on what goes in the finished product, and b) They get paid
   more.  :)


>> "He's dead, Jim"

Homer's method of testing Flanders' health is actually well-established,
   according to Tony Hill:  The eye poke test is what cops use to see if a
   person is alive.  Other than that, no one besides a coroner is allowed to
   touch a body, not even to check for identification.


>> "I must use this power only to annoy!"

Daniel L. Dreibelbis:  Having Bart do a Plastic Man character was a stroke of
   genius: PM originally started life as a petty gangster, Eel O'Brien, who
   gained his powers as a result of a combination of a gunshot wound and
   chemicals from a vat he fell into when he was shot.  Even though he vowed
   to use his new powers for good, he basically always acted like a wise-ass,
   even playing some practical jokes on crooks, in his greatest adventures.


>> Lucy Lawless, Warrior Actress

Tom Rinschler:  "Xena, Warrior Princess" is a syndicated series, retelling the
   adventures of an Amazon princess in the time of the Greek myths.  It is a
   spin-off of an earlier series "Hercules, the Legendary Journeys", and the
   two crossover frequently.  While they periodically manage to keep the Greek
   mythological setting intact, more often than not, they bring in people that
   are somewhat, or totally completely, anachronistic (Xena with Cleopatra and
   Caesar?  Xena would have lived 1200 years before them!).  History and Greek
   Mythology being two favorite subjects of mine, I only watch "Xena" (and
   "Hercules" for that matter) to catch the more boneheaded mistakes and laugh
   at them (or cringe, depending on how awful the mistake was).  And well ...
   er ... for the skimpy outfits too (embarrassed grin).

   The show has a wide cult following, and star Lucy Lawless, like many actors
   in cult shows and movies (many of whom were also seen in the Collector's
   hideout), has had problems with overly-obsessive fans, who can't seem to
   tell the actor from the character.


Bill McNeal:  You really felt the need to explain that in a newsgroup full of
   fanboys?


>> A wizard must have done it

Tony Hill:  The horse problem Frink brought up is a continuity error. It's
   easy to see how such an error could happen in an animated show, but less
   likely for something like that to happen in a live-action show like "Xena."


>> And you wonder why actors are leery of Internet fans

Haynes Lee:  The breastplate gag is similar to what happened in real life to
   Lucy Lawless at a ball game.  When she raised her arm one of her breasts
   popped out and pictures of this were posted to the internet within hours.


Richard Kim:  Actually, it was a hockey game, a playoff game between the
   Detroit Red Wings and the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, I think.  This happened
   when she was singing the national anthem.


>> The Collector's Stable

Jeff Cross contributes:  A brief look at the people the Collector has bagged
   (literally)

   Yasmine Bleeth, actress: been in the business since a Johnson's Baby
   Shampoo ad at the age of six months. Has been on "Ryan's Hope," but was
   really put on the map by "Baywatch" as lifeguard Caroline Holden.  Is
   currently on "Nash Bridges" as Inspector Caitlin Cross.

   Lucy Lawless, actress: stayed under the radar until appearing on "Hercules:
   The Legendary Journeys" as Xena, which was later spun off into its own
   show.

   Doctor Who: British sci-fi character who has been played by no less than
   eight actors: William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker,
   Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, and Paul McGann.

   Matt Groening, cartoonist: creator of the shows "The Simpsons" and
   "Futurama," and the comic strip "Life in Hell."

   Jeri Ryan, actress: former Miss Illinois.  Has appeared on "Melrose Place"
   and "Dark Skies." Currently on "Star Trek: Voyager" as ex-Borg/ship's sex
   object Annika "Seven of Nine" Hansen.

   "Lost in Space" Robot: played by Bob May and voiced by Dick Tufeld.  Most
   famous for flailing around and shouting "Danger Will Robinson!"

   Bob Denver, actor: played Gilligan from "Gilligan's Island"

   Leonard Nimoy, actor/director: made famous for his role of Spock on "Star
   Trek."  Has also been on "Mission: Impossible," replacing Martin Landau;
   ironically, Landau was originally considered for Spock.


>> At least she's in near mint condition

Bill McNeal softly grumbles:  The problem that I find is that the storyboard
   artists didn't do their job- the Seven of Nine we see is wearing her
   original silver catsuit, which was used for an episode or two and all of
   the promotional shots seen on obscure T-shirts, etc.  She hasn't worn that
   silver get-up since..


Mark S.:  I think that's why they had her in the silver get-up ... the
   original attire is usually worth a LOT more to collectors ...


Eric Sansoni:  Most of us only know her from all those posters and things, so
   I'd say the artists did their job perfectly.  I wouldn't have recognized
   her or got the reference if she had been in some other outfit.


>> Xena probably won't be calling the Collector this

Joe Klemm:  Mr. Mxyzptlk is a character in the Superman comics.  Pronounced
   "Mix-yes-spit-lick", Mr. Mxyzptlk is a being from the Fifth Dimension.
   Using his powers, he occasionally warps to Earth in order to make
   Superman's life a headache.  However, he is forced to return to the Fifth
   Dimension if he says his name backwards.


>> He's a captain, but can he transform himself into a singer?

Yeah, William "Capt. Kirk" Shatner did record an album once.  Daniel L.
   Dreibelbis remembers:  William Shatner's infamous 1968 album he made in
   which he made his "singing" debut: you could clear a room or kill
   cockroaches with that record, which featured, err, unique takes on "Mr.
   Tambourine Man" and "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds".  The CBSG should have
   used that phaser himself on Shatner, who this year made a comeback song
   with Ben Folds.


>> It's the soundest investment since Beanie Babies

Joe Klemm:  The Collector's comment about his lightsaber losing value due to
   the fact that he opened the package it was in reference to how people are
   now saving unopened "Star Wars: Episode One" action figures due to the fact
   that their price will rise in the future.  This thing is due to how the old
   Kenner Star Wars figures are now worth a lot of money, with the prices
   being higher if they are unopened instead of being loose (opened and used).


Ben Varkentine notes:  Of course, what no one is telling these brain dead
   "collectors" (Most especially not George "Greed can be a powerful ally"
   Lucas) is that since *lots* of people are buying the SWE1 merchandise and
   hoarding it, there's going to be no (repeat no) demand for it in the
   future.  That's how it works.  The reason SW material from the first film
   is worth money is because no one knew what it was then ...


>> Best Death Ever

Tony Hill muses:  It's odd that The Collector wanted to honor "Battlestar
   Galactica."  That short-lived series was blasted by many purists as a rip-
   off of "Star Wars," and I think the producers of the movie even brought a
   lawsuit against the creators of the TV series.  Lorne Greene's tombstone
   refers to him as the "world's greatest father," perhaps a reference to
   "Bonanza," and also calls him "the great voice of Canada."  "Battlestar
   Galactica" isn't mentioned.


Gareth Cuillin answers:  It's one of the cultiest of cult TV shows and hence
   is exactly the sort of thing that CBG would be into big-style.


>> January 3, 2000: GET BACK TO WORK!

Jeff Cross:  The Millennium Glitch, annoyingly referred to as Y2K (for Year
   2000), revolves around the date code in computers.  With the year set only
   to two digits to save space, people are afraid that when January 1, 2000
   rolls around, the computers will translate it to January 1, 1900 and start
   crashing.  The anticipated effects range from short blackouts to
   spontaneous nuclear weapon detonations and the end of civilization.  I
   nearly got a job fixing it, and the solution is so horrifically simple that
   you'd wish civilization would crumble to cover your shame of not figuring
   it out earlier: an if-then-else statement that adds 1900 or 2000 to the
   year.


Benjamin Robinson:  Since just about everything from airplanes to your
   coffeemaker contains an embedded computer, the theory that they might
   simultaneously fail has provided a lot of grist for doomsayers. Prevalent
   among their fears are:  Ruined financial records, failed transportation
   infrastructure (planes have onboard maintenance and navigation computers
   that are time-dependent, and railroads have computerized switching
   equipment), and national power outages.  In reality, the New Year won't be
   quite so dramatic.  Most embedded chips, like the one in your microwave,
   don't really care what year it is.  In other cases, the hype has prodded
   the people in charge to check their systems for Y2K compliance and fix or
   work around any errors they find.


Joe Klemm adds:  A worldwide crisis just like the one in the episode is
   impossible since, if it does happen, it will only affect the area where the
   computer is located at.


Brian Sco refutes this:  As a software engineer specializing in network
   protocols I can tell you that if one computer sends invalid date data to
   another computer across the world that second computer will be affected if
   it did not know how to handle the bad data.

   [It's true that solving the problem isn't technically difficult.  Instead,
   the trick is in locating all the programs using date-sensitive code.  At
   large institutions, it's not all that unusual for programs written in the
   70s -- or even earlier -- to be running today.  This code often isn't well
   documented, making the search harder and errors easier to make.  Bringing
   data into compliance can also be a chore.  If you have 10 million database
   records using two-digit dates, casually adding another two digits is no
   small task.  -- Ed.]


[A commonly-repeated refrain in the months leading up to 2000 was that the
   rollover would make it hazardous to fly, either because FAA computers would
   fail, or the computers aboard the planes themselves would fail.  Most
   American carriers arranged their schedules so no jetliners would be in the
   air at midnight.  To allay fears, the FAA chief vowed to be flying at that
   time, just to show that everything was safe.  The nation of China went even
   further.  They *ordered* their airlines to remain flying at the time, just
   to demonstrate the soundness of their computers.

   The critical hour for the FAA actually came at 7:00 p.m. Eastern time,
   since their computers run on Greenwich time.  Sure enough, the FAA
   computers processed the rollover correctly.  (Incidentally, ABC showed a
   screen at FAA headquarters indicating a horde of planes flying at that
   time.)  This was one of my first indications that the world was not going
   to hell in a handbasket that night.

   Besides, who wants to be stuck on a plane on New Year's Eve?  -- Ed.]


Benjamin Robinson:  In a sense, the doom hype has forestalled the actual doom
   - - a self-denying prophecy.  While there will probably be minor glitches,
   such as the wrong date appearing on computerized reports, we'll hopefully
   avoid the worst of the chaos.

   [P. S., if you're reading this now, chances are whatever the Y2K mavens did
   worked -- Ed.]


Benjamin Robinson, again:  Incidentally, one fellow remarked, "Only computer
   scientists would call this problem the 'Y2K' bug.  That kind of shortcut-
   taking is what caused the problem in the first place."


>> Battle of the bands

Daniel L. Dreibelbis presents your New Year's Eve lineup:  RATT - southern
   California-based heavy metal band circa 1984, had big hits with single
   "Round and Round" and album OUT OF THE CELLAR.  Recently had a surprise hit
   with their new comeback album on Sony this year!

   WHITESNAKE - band led by ex-Deep Purple vocalist David Coverdale, they hit
   pay dirt with their slick pop metal 1980s records SLIDE IT IN and
   WHITESNAKE.  The joke here is that Whitesnake were never the same band from
   album to album in the 1980s, with band members leaving as a result of Mr.
   Coverdale's egomania.

   RICK JAMES: big late seventies/early eighties funk artist who ran afoul of
   the law several times in the last few years; his big hit was "Super Freak".


Benjamin Robinson adds:  Something of a real-life Superfreak himself, James
   was accused of kidnapping a young woman and keeping her as a sex slave, or
   something equally bizarre.


>> Attack of the hair bands!

Benjamin Robinson:  In the beginning, there was heavy metal.  It took itself
   seriously, and its fans claimed that under the crunching guitars and
   driving drumbeats there lurked thought-provoking lyrics.  Then metal seemed
   to lighten up.  (Light metal, anyone?)  Van Halen (the David Lee Roth
   incarnation) married the musical style to a party-boy image to create a
   band that was loud, brash, and fun to listen to.  They've aged relatively
   gracefully, but other bands that followed in their wake didn't fare as
   well.  Many of them seemed to focus as much on hair and costuming as they
   did on music, earning them the derisive label "hair bands."  To their
   critics, many of them had a sameness that made one hard to distinguish from
   another.  Whitesnake, Poison, Quiet Riot, Ratt all enjoyed a moment in the
   musical sun, but are considered passé by most people today.


Ondre Lombard:  Shortly after the 90s began, it began to fade away into
   memory, replaced by grunge, alternative and other watered down forms of
   rock with less hairspray.  The joke in the Dick Clark Rockin' Eve special
   is that since so many of them (arguably) "sounded the same", they don't
   even know who they are anymore.  For two records: Whitesnake's lead singer
   didn't play an instrument and he had blonde hair.  Ratt's lead singer
   didn't play an instrument either and he had dark hair.  In fact, I don't
   think anyone in that band was any of the bands they thought they might've
   been (not even Quiet Riot).  For another record, I love 80s "hair" heavy
   metal a lot more than I do 90s rock.


>> So *that's* how he does it!

Tom Rinschler:  It's something of a running joke that Dick Clark, who has been
   hosting TV shows for several decades, never seems to get any older.
   Obviously the staff of "The Simpsons" theorizes that he is really a robot
   in disguise.  I guess we should all tune in on New Year's Eve this year and
   see if the Y2K bug gets him.


>> The Many Shows Of Robert Urich

Jeff Cross:  Robert Urich, while being a good actor, just hasn't had too much
   luck with TV shows, listed as follows.

   -- "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice" (1973)
   -- "S.W.A.T." (1975)
   -- "Tabitha" (1977)
   -- "Soap" (1977)
   -- "Vega$" (1978)
   -- "Gavilan" (1982)
   -- "Spenser: For Hire" (1985) (his best, in my opinion)
   -- "American Dreamer" (1990)
   -- "Crossroads" (1992)
   -- "It Had to be You" (1993)  {al}
   -- "The Lazarus Man" (1996) [{ol} notes it ended on account of his cancer
   treatment -- Ed.]
   -- "Boatworks" (1997)
   -- "Vital Signs" (1997)
   -- "Invasion America" (1998)
   -- "The Love Boat: The Next Wave" (1998)
   -- National Geographic Explorer, (1991-94)  {th}


>> When Celebrities Go Bad

Benjamin Robinson:  Hmmm.  I wonder why we waited until planet-wide apocalypse
   to think of this idea -- send society's most annoying people on a one way
   trip to Old Sol.  On tonight's flight were

   Ross Perot:  Founded the Reform Party and ran for President on with a
   plain-talking, if simplistic, campaign.  Toward the end, though, he wigged
   out and accused Bush of planning to disrupt his daughter's wedding, quit
   the race, only to try to rejoin it later.  Now considered a marginal player
   even in his own party.

   Dr. Laura Schlessenger:  Talk show host who hands out blunt life advice to
   callers.  Probably the only moralist to have nude photos of herself posted
   to the internet (by her ex-husband).

   Spike Lee:  Outspoken movie director.  A New York Knicks fan, he sits on
   the sidelines and heckles the opposing team.  At least one of the Knicks'
   opponents credits Lee with inspiring them to rally to victory.  With fans
   like that ...

   Dan Quayle:  George Bush's vice-president.  Considered an intellectual
   lightweight, he was often the fodder du jour for comedians and humor
   columnists.  (Dave Barry likened his intelligence to that of plankton.)  In
   real life he isn't that dumb, but does suffer from foot-in-mouth disease an
   awful lot.

   Courtney Love:  Loose-cannon singer for Hole.  You can read a little more
   about her in the capsule for "Screaming Yellow Honkers (AABF10)."

   Tonya Harding:  Olympic skater implicated in a plot to club her rival Nancy
   Kerrigan (who was no prize-winning personality herself) on the knee, giving
   Harding a sure slot on the 1996 Olympic team.  Messy lawsuits followed,
   with the upshot being that Harding was allowed to compete along with
   Kerrigan.  The soap opera dominated coverage (in the United States, at
   least) of the games that year.  On the other hand, I notice that
   considerably more media attention is paid to figure skating now than in the
   pre-Harding era.  There is no such thing as bad publicity.

   Al Sharpton:  Activist and trouble-maker, defending the black community
   from racism wherever it exists -- and wherever it doesn't.

   Rosie O'Donnell:  Talk show host.  Her show broke with the Oprah/Jerry
   Springer mold for daytime talk shows, instead harking back to the days of
   Dinah Shore.  Although popular, her relentless sunny, perky nature can be
   grating in the long run.


Biographies of the two remaining people we send hurtling into the sun,
   courtesy Daniel L. Dreibelbis:  TOM ARNOLD: comedian who is probably best
   known as the former husband of comedian Roseanne Barr/Arnold/whatever the
   hell she's calling herself this week.  After what many considered a
   brilliant breakthrough part in Ah-Nohld's TRUE LIES, Mr. Arnold disgraced
   himself with a number of bombs including "McHale's Navy" and "The Stupids".
   At least Tom, who voiced himself in this episode, is man enough to laugh at
   the treatment the writers gave him!  [{bjr} notes he's appeared on
   commercials for WebTV.]

   PAULY SHORE: ex MTV veejay who parlayed his fame into a number of brainless
   excruciating "comedies" like BIO-DOME, JURY DUTY, SON-IN-LAW and IN THE
   ARMY NOW, as well as a failed FOX sitcom.  Hopefully Mr. Shore will keep
   his promise that he will not make another film ever again, or we WILL fire
   him from a cannon into the sun!  [{bjr} says Shore "will probably become
   the most-despised person in America once Saddam Hussein kicks the bucket."]


Benjamin Robinson:  This sounds like it would make a great party game.  Just
   ask your guests, "What celebrity would you like to send hurtling into the
   sun?"


>> Folklore Alert

This is not a drill!  This is a Haynes Lee folklore alert:  "Children use x-
   ray machine to check their candy for pins, needles, and razor blades."
   True.  Pins, needles, and razor blades have been found in trick-or-
   treaters' loot.  See
   <http://snopes.simplenet.com/horrors/mayhem/needles.htm>.


Richard Green:  The school was scanning the candy for malicious objects.  They
   found razors and syringes.  With Halloween every year, comes fear from
   parents, schools, and bag makers that everyone is out to kill kids by
   putting razors into the candy.  However, they tend to let on that this
   happens MUCH more than it actually does.  The last time it's even been
   REPORTED that a sharp object was found in a wrapper in 1991, and since then
   it's only happened 3 times this century, so there really isn't that much to
   worry about.


Haynes Lee:  Homer's and Bart's heads explode in the vacuum of space.  "People
   explode/boil/something in the vacuum of space."  False.  See
   <http://www.urbanlegends.com/death/bodies_explode_in_space.html>


Chris Carollo elaborates:  A vacuum is only 1 atmosphere different from what
   we're normally experiencing, which is not enough force to explode a human.
   You obviously wouldn't be able to breathe, you'd blow a lot of capillaries,
   causing minor bleeding such as a nosebleed, and your ears would be more
   than a little uncomfortable, but you could survive until you suffocated.


Javier Sassi adds:  In the event never before witnessed of a human suddenly
   being thrown into the void of space, it will not cause the head or any part
   of the body to "explode" (read explode as the event of an object being
   turned into smaller fragments traveling in a straight line away from each
   other)

   The human body is dense and filled with fluids which of course would try to
   "exit" the body but they are not contained in a air tight container.

   So the most likely scenario of a human body being thrown out into the void
   of outer space would be some fluids and soft matter escaping for all
   orifices of the body (eyes, ears mouth etc) But the body would remain
   together.  Including the head.

   Think of the head not as a balloon.  Think of it as an orange or a
   grapefruit filled with holes.

   As a tidbit of interest in this subject, our ear drums work as pressure
   valves of our heads.  So among the things you would feel before dying when
   you are thrown out into space, for a split second maybe, you would feel
   pain in your ears.


>> Cutting out the Middleman

Ted J. Mills:  One bit in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" was a doomed
   planet being evacuated in three arks: The A ark had the leaders and
   scientists and so on, the C ark had the people who do the actual work, and
   the B ark had everyone else, all the middlemen types.  And only the B ark
   was sent off, since the planet wasn't really doomed, it was just an excuse
   to get rid of the useless third of their population.


Jordan Eisenberg:  It's worth noting that this spaceship full of "B" citizens
   eventually crash-lands on an obscure, undeveloped, t-shirt-producing planet
   known as Earth, and they become the descendents of the human race.
   [Actually, they'd be the ancestors, as Curtis Gibby notes -- Ed.]


>> Miscellaneous, Etc.

The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this show is:  THOHX


Mike Erickson:  I believe this is the first time we've actually seen an
   immediate member(s) of OFF die (Homer and Bart's heads exploding) ... even
   in a THOH episode.


Tony Hill:  Century City is a ritzy Los Angeles real estate development
   adjacent to Beverly Hills which 20th Century Fox made out of its backlot.
   Ironically, ABC had its TV studios there for many years.


Joe Klemm:  Stan Lee (Marvel Comics head)


Seth Miller:  This is the first time I have ever seen a villain run out of
   ammo and then throw the gun at the hero ... and have it WORK.


Benjamin Robinson:  Car Watch:  Comic Book Guy's car appears to be a Geo/Chevy
   (GM's dropping the Geo nameplate) Metro.  It's a newer model than Ned's
   Metro.


==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary  {bjr}
==============================================================================
% This year's special begins with spotlights playing off a set of 
% stage curtains.

Announcer:	Live from fabulous Centauri City, it's "The Simpsons 
		Tenth Halloween Special!"  [curtains part to reveal 
		a pumpkin-shaped spaceship]  Now, please welcome 
		your hosts -- if you haven't been probed by these 
		two, you haven't been probed -- Kang and Kodos!
		[as the audience cheers, the aliens emerge from the 
		spaceship]
Kang:		Thank you, thank you.
Kodos:		Yes, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.  Welcome to 
		our tenth anniversary show.  Oh, we've got a great 
		g-- [notices Kang lighting an acetylene torch] Kang, 
		what are you doing?
Kang:		You said we were going to warm up the audience.
		[cut to a shot of said audience, which is made up 
		entirely of alien creatures.  We hear laughter, even 
		though the audience members are sitting perfectly 
		still]
Kodos:		[shudders]  Ladies and gentleman, I have to 
		apologize for my partner.  He had to borrow a 
		*human* brain.
		[more laughter]
		[cut to the Simpsons' living room.  They're on the 
		couch, but it's obvious they're not their usual 
		selves.  Homer's a jack-in-the-box, Marge is a 
		witch, Lisa is an ax-attack victim, Bart is a half-
		fly mutant, and Maggie is a half-alien, half-human 
		baby]
Lisa:		What do aliens have to do with Halloween?
Maggie:		Silence!  [produces a ray gun, and disintegrates 
		Lisa]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% [End of intro.  Time:  1:03]
%
% And now that the audience at home is warmed up, let's present our 
% first tale of the supernatural, which is:
%
%		I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did
%
% Thick fog shrouds a lonely road through the countryside.  The 
% Simpsons' station wagon is the only car on the road.  Inside the 
% car, Marge is at the wheel.

Lisa:	I still can't believe we escaped from those horrible 
	vampires.
Homer:	But it was worth it to get back our Super Sugar Crisp 
	cereal.  [holds up box]
	[sings to "Sugar Crisp" tune] Can't get enough of that 
	Sugar Crisp ...
Marge:	I'm having a hard time seeing.  Homer, did you remember to 
	put the fog lights in?
Homer:	[still singing] Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in.
Marge:	I'd better pull over and play it safe.  [pulls over, but 
	there's a horrible thump.  She stops the car, opens the 
	door, and discovers that she has run over something]
	[gasps] Please be a dog...
-- Safety first, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The family runs up to body, and discovers that it's a man.  Homer 
% rolls him over to see that he is none other than Ned Flanders.

Homer:	[pokes him in the eye with a stick] He's dead!  [pokes 
	twice more] He's definitely dead.  [pokes a few more 
	times]
Marge:	Oh, my God!  We killed Ned Flanders.
Bart:	You mean *you* killed Ned Flanders.
Marge:	Oh, it was an accident -- an accident!
Lisa:	We've got to go to the police.
Bart:	They'll never believe a Simpson killed a Flanders by 
	accident.  Even I have my doubts.
Homer:	[holding Ned up] Don't worry, I've got a plan.  Okay, Ned.  
	The first thing we gotta do [begins whispering] is make 
	sure no one knows that you're dead.  If anyone asks, you 
	just say that you're not dead.  [nods Flanders' head up 
	and down]
-- A simple plan, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The next morning, Homer has taken Ned's body up to the roof of the 
% Simpsons' house.  Next door, Maude tends the Flanders' yard.

Homer:	Hey, Maude!  Look who's helping me clean the chimney!
	[a vulture flies down and begins picking at Ned's arm.  
	Homer shoos it away]
Maude:	Neddy?  Where have you been?
Homer:	[doing bad Ned impersonation, and waving Ned's arm] Hi 
	Maude-diddily.  I've been having fun with my pal Homer.  
	[pause]  Diddily.
Maude:	Oh, I'm so relieved.  Whenever you go on one of your late-
	night fog walks I get so worried.
Homer:	[as Ned] Relax, I'm fine.  But when I do die, I don't want 
	any autopsies.
Maude:	Well, come on down, you goofy roofie.
Homer:	[as Ned] Wow, it sure is slippery up here.
	[goes to toss Ned off the roof]
	[bell dings inside Flanders house]
Maude:	My pies are done.  [goes inside]
	[Flanders lands on the doghouse]
Homer:	Oh, she missed it!
-- It'll be on the next "Faces of Death" video, though, "Treehouse of
   Horror X"

% Take II.  Homer, carrying Ned, kicks open the Flanders' door.

Homer:	[as Ned] Hey Maude, I'm home.  Uh, oh, I think I'm having 
	a heart attack.
	[tosses the body to the floor, closes the door]
Maude:	[screams from inside the house]
Homer:	And that's the end of that chapter.
-- All's well that ends well, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The whole town, it seems, turns out for the late Ned Flanders' 
% funeral.  Even the Simpsons are there.  Homer counsels everyone not 
% to look too sad, or else they might draw suspicion.  Everyone smiles 
% brightly, and takes their place among the congregation.
%
% Reverend Lovejoy introduces Ned's best friend -- Homer Simpson -- 
% who will say a few words in eulogy.

Homer:	When I think about Ned, I can't help but remember the look 
	on his face when Marge drove over --
Marge:	[sotto voce] Homer, shut up, shut up, shut up!
Homer:	Oh, wait.  What I'd like to say is, we're still looking 
	for the real killers.  Anyway in conclusion, a man cannot 
	be forced to testify against his wife.  [winks 
	conspicuously]
Marge:	[offscreen, sotto voce] Stop winking!
Homer:	We'll miss you, buddy.  [playfully punches Ned's shoulder]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Relieved that no one suspects they had a hand in Flanders' death, 
% the Simpsons drive home.

Homer:	Hey, we just got away with murder.  And it was so easy!  
	[sees Milhouse crossing the street]  You know, I never 
	liked that little wiener Milhouse.  [steers toward him]
Marge:	[grabs the wheel and steers the car back]
	No more murders!
	[Homer pulls up in his driveway, and the family gets out 
	of the car]
Homer:	But you got to kill --
Marge:	No!
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Perhaps the Simpsons didn't get away with murder, after all.  
% Scrawled on their front door are the ominous words, "I know what you 
% did."  Someone obviously witnessed the accident, but who?  Everyone 
% on Evergreen Terrace that day -- Chief Wiggum, Krusty, Moe, Sherri 
% and Terri -- stares at them accusingly.  Even Homer points a finger 
% at Marge, until she tells him to quit.
%
% Huddled in their darkened living room, the Simpsons are startled by 
% a phone call.

Marge:		Who could be calling at this hour?
Homer:		[nervously answers the phone]  Hello?
Menacing Voice:	[on phone] I know you're alone.
Homer:		Who is this?
Menacing Voice:	Is this Maude Flanders?
Homer:		No, it's Homer
Moe:		Oh, hey Homer, it's Moe.  I must have dialed 
		the wrong number.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% A flash of lightning (and a 360-degree spin from the camera) reveal 
% that the phrase "I know what you did" has been painted on just about 
% every surface of the living room.  What's worse, a dark figure in 
% rain gear stands in one corner, brandishing a big hook.  The family 
% runs out of the house, and piles into the car, only to see that the 
% car has been decorated with the same phrase.  Homer starts the car 
% and the family flees from the house.
%
% Homer prays for divine intervention.  "Dear God, it's Homer.  If you 
% really love me, you'll save my life now," he says.  The car runs out 
% of gas.
%
% With the mystery man closing in, Homer hatches a desperate plan to 
% save his family.

Homer:		Okay, Marge, you hide in the abandoned amusement 
		park; Lisa, the pet cemetery; Bart, spooky roller 
		disco; And I'll go skinny-dipping in that lake where 
		the sexy teens were killed a hundred years ago 
		tonight.
		[turns to Flanders, who is the one wearing the rain 
		gear]
		Now, Flanders, I want you to --
OFF:		[screams]
Marge:		It's impossible.  I killed you.
Flanders:	You can't kill the undead, silly.
Homer:		[pokes Flanders in the eye with a stick]  He's 
		undead, all right.
Bart:		Are you a zombie?
Flanders:	Oh, I wish!  You see, that night, when you hit me 
		with your car ...
		[flashes back to that night.  Flanders walks alone 
		in the fog, along the side of the road]
		I'm making record time on this fog walk.  [a wolf 
		howls in the distance]  Better pick up the pace.
		[a wolf jumps out of the bushes, and shoves Flanders 
		off the road.  There's a struggle, and Flanders 
		emerges as a werewolf]
Homer:		[from a distance, singing] Guess I forgot to put the 
		fog lights in.
		[Flanders prepares to pounce on the unsuspecting 
		vehicle]
Marge:		I'd better pull over and play it safe.
		[runs over Flanders, who transforms back into a man]
		[back to the present]
Lisa:		So you were going to kill us.
Flanders:	[chuckles] Yeah.
		[everyone enjoys a hearty laugh]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The clouds part, to reveal the moon.  Flanders immediately 
% transforms into were-Flanders and growls at Homer.  "I want the 
% news, not the weather," Homer says, and turns to Marge to brag about 
% his zing.  She isn't there.  Marge and the kids are running away, 
% several hundred yards down the road.
%
% As the camera focuses on the moon, Flanders attacks Homer.  There's 
% a pause in the carnage.  "Eyes bigger than your stomach, eh, 
% wolfie?"  He speaks too soon, as Flanders resumes eating Homer.
%
% [End of Act One.  Time:  7:06]
%
% The night's second tale is entitled:
%
% 			Desperately Xeeking Xena
%
% After making their trick-or-treat rounds, the children of 
% Springfield report to Springfield Elementary School, where the 
% police are X-raying the candy for nasty surprises.
%
% Chief Wiggum is in charge of the portable X-ray machine, which looks 
% like the kind you might find at an airport.  It is set up in the 
% gym.  Ralph is at the head of the line, dressed in police costume 
% and holding a bag of candy.

Wiggum:	Well, well, well.  If it isn't the cutest police officer 
	in Springfield.
Lou:	Hey, you know, we got feelings, too, Chief.
Wiggum:	Just dump your candy on the X-ray belt, Ralphie.  [he does 
	so] There's a good boy.
	[looks at the X-ray monitor as the candy rolls along the 
	belt]
	Safe ... safe ... razor blade ... syringe ... ooh, white 
	chocolate.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Further back in line, Milhouse shows off his Radioactive Man 
% costume.

Milhouse:	Check it out Lisa, I'm Radioactive Man.
Lisa:		I don't think the real Radioactive Man wears a 
		plastic smock with a picture of himself on it.
Milhouse:	He would on Halloween.
-- Nah, that's more of a Batman thing, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% It's Nelson's turn.  His overstuffed pillowcase jams the machine, 
% just as Chief Wiggum warns.  It rocks back and forth, as if it is 
% about to explode.  Skinner tells everyone to duck and cover.  
% Everyone does, except Bart.  A green beam of radiation shoots out of 
% the machine towards the boy.  Lisa tries to push him out of the way, 
% but the beam catches them both, sending Lisa flying into one of the 
% gym's grandstands.  It topples onto her, leaving only her feet 
% sticking out of the bottom.

Skinner:	She's been crushed!  And so have the hopes of our 
		mathletics team.
Lisa:		[single-handedly lifts the grandstand above her head, and 
		stands up]
		Hold the funeral, poindexter!
Skinner:	[gasps] Poindexter?!
		[Lisa tosses the grandstand through the ceiling]
Bart:		Whoa, Lis, those X-rays must've given you super strength!  
		I wonder if I got any powers.
		[Bart's eyes stretch right out of his head.  He 
		nonchalantly inspects himself from all angles]
		Nope, looks normal.  [retracts his eyes]  Wait a minute 
		... I can stretch!
		[stretches his neck up toward the ceiling]
		Look at me!  [bumps his head into a light fixture, which 
		breaks]
		Ow!  Hot, hot, hot.  [un-stretches his neck]
		I must only use this power to annoy!
-- And thus, a superhero is born, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% As good as his word, Bart stretches his left hand out the gym 
% window.  There's a knock at the gym door, and Skinner answers it.  
% Bart's hand is on the other side.  It gestures side to side, and up 
% and down, then slaps Skinner.

Lisa:	Bart, with these powers, we can become superheroes.
Wiggum:	[being spun by Lisa] Okay, so do it already.
-- Isn't this how the Fantastic Four got started?  "Treehouse of 
   Horror X"

% Bart and Lisa become Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl, respectively.  
% Like all superheroes worth their salt, they have a theme song.  
% [Transcribed here courtesy of Gerry Garrelts.]

Singers:	Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl!
		He's a human rubber band
		And she's the Hulk in pearls!
		[a would be bank-robber is foiled when he runs into 
		Bart, who has stretched himself like a net across 
		the sidewalk.  The robber bounces towards Lisa, who 
		clobbers him]
		He's a limber lad
		She's a powerful lass
		[Bart retrieves Homer's watch from the toilet pipe]
		He'll wring your neck
		And she'll kick your ass!
		[Bart ties up Saddam Hussein.  Lisa kicks his ass]
		They're Stretch Dude
		And Clobber Girl!
		[Lisa uses the Statue of Liberty to poke a hole in 
		an attacking Nazi zeppelin]
		Stretch Dude, Clobber Girl!
		Stretch Dude, Clobber Girl!...
		[Bart and Lisa shake hands with President Clinton.  
		Lisa does this so vigorously that the President is 
		repeatedly slammed into the floor and desk]
Announcer:	Tonight's episode:  Enter the Collector.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Lucy Lawless, TV's Xena on "Xena:  Warrior Princess" addresses a 
% group of her fans.

Lawless:	... but I'm sure that once girls get to know the 
		real you, you'll get plenty of dates.  Next 
		question.
		[hands go up.  She picks Frink]
Frink:		Yes, over here, n'hey, n'hey.  In episode BF12, you 
		were battling barbarians while riding a winged 
		Appaloosa, yet in the very next scene, my dear, 
		you're clearly atop a winged Arabian.  Please do 
		explain it.
Lawless:	Ah, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like 
		that, a wizard did it.
Frink:		I see, all right, yes, but in episode AG4 --
Lawless:	Wizard.
Frink:		[under breath] Aw, for glaven out loud.
-- And thus, an a.t.s. cliché is born, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Suddenly, the Comic Book Guy crashes through the skylight on the 
% type of electromagnet you might see suspended from a crane.  He is 
% dressed as ... the Collector.

Collector:	Behold, I am the Collector, and I have come to add 
		you to my collection.
		[turns on a magnet, which attracts Lucy's 
		breastplate.  She sails up to the magnet, where she 
		is trapped]
Lawless:	Must ... remove ... my ... breastplate!
		[unties the straps holding it on.  Below, everyone 
		in the audience produces a camera]
		Maybe later.  [reties straps]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The Collector's magnet crane is mounted on the back of his Chevrolet 
% (formerly Geo) Metro.  He takes Lucy, still stuck to the magnet, 
% through the streets of Springfield.

Collector:	[leaning out the window] Care for a Rollo, sweet 
		Xena?
Lawless:	All right Collector, stick this in your tweezers -- 
		I'm not Xena!  I'm an actress, you lunatic!
Collector:	Oh, please, I'm not insane.  I simply wish to take 
		you back to my lair to be my bride.
Lawless:	Oh, dear God!
-- Well, at least he isn't insane, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Meanwhile, Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl fight the battle against 
% yard trash.  Bart rakes the leaves, using the hand he has 
% conveniently transformed into a rake.  Lisa lifts the house up, and 
% Bart sweeps the leaves under the house.
%
% At that moment, the Collector and Lucy drive past.  Lucy yells for 
% help.  They quickly realize that she has been kidnapped.  Bart 
% changes into a pogo stick, and he and Lisa hop off after them.

Marge:	Remember, you're vulnerable to kryptonite.
Homer:	Jeez, Marge, tell the neighborhood.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% At his lair, the Collector finishes sealing Lawless in a big plastic 
% bag.  A catwalk rings the perimeter of the room, allowing the 
% Collector access to the rest of his collected celebrities.

Collector:	Fear not, my syndicated sweetie.  You'll be 
		preserved forever in this Mylar pouch, forever 
		remaining in ... near mint condition, between Dr. 
		Who and of course Yasmine Bleeth.
Lisa:		I don't think so.  [she and Bart smash through the 
		wall]
Bart:		I don't think so, either.
		[stretches his butt up to the Collector's platform, 
		and waves it in his face]
Lisa:		Your collecting days are over, Collector.
Collector:	[pulls out a phaser] Stop right there.  I have here 
		the only working phaser ever built.  It was fired 
		only once, to keep William Shatner from making 
		another album.
Lisa:		Stretch Dude, help!
Bart:		Just a sec.
		[we see that he has stretched over to look at the 
		Collector's "adults only" collection]
-- Priorities, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The Collector fires his phaser, hitting Lisa and knocking her out.  
% He turns his attention to Bart, but each time he fires, Bart 
% stretches out of the way.  Finally, the phaser runs out of energy.  
% The Collector throws the weapon at the boy.  It hits Bart on the 
% head, knocking him unconscious.
%
% The Collector ties Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl to a hook, using 
% Stretch Dude's own body as a substitute rope.  They are suspended 
% over a tank of bubbling Lucite.

Collector:	Good night, Retch Dude and Slobber Girl.  Sweet 
		screams!
		[begins to lower them into the Lucite tank]
		[turning to Lawless]  Ha, ha, ha!  I am unbelievably 
		amused.  Soon those bratty buttinskis will be 
		encased in Lucite for all eternity.  While we're 
		waiting, here are some names you may call me on our 
		wedding night:  [clears throat] Obi Wan, Iron Man, 
		Mr. Mxyzptlk, and of course, Big Papa Smurf.
Lawless:	What do you need me for?  You could have your choice 
		of any of the women in these bags.
Collector:	You would think so, but no.
Lawless:	Really?  Well, I mean, maybe we are meant for each 
		other.  Growing up, I was tall for my age and all 
		the other kids made fun of me, I ... I always hoped 
		for another misunderstood soul to share my pain and, 
		you could be that soul, Collector.
Collector:	Oh ...
Lawless:	Come here, you.  Xena needs Xex.  [puckers up]
Collector:	[puckers up]
Lawless:	[grabs Collector's lips]
		Got your lips!
		[punches Collector several times, and kicks him off 
		the catwalk]
Collector:	You tricked me!  With a ruse so hackneyed, it would 
		make Stan Lee blush!
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Lawless jumps down from the catwalk.  Still in her Mylar pouch, she 
% and the Collector fight.  Lawless lands a series of vicious kicks 
% and head blows.
% 
% Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa are still being slowly lowered toward the 
% Lucite.

Lisa:	Bart, just let me drop and save yourself!
Bart:	What do you think I've been trying to do?
-- No honor among superheroes, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Lawless corners the Collector.  He picks up one of his collectibles.

Collector:	Ah ha!  Not even Xena is a match for the double-
		edged lightsaber from "Star Wars Episode 1:  The 
		Phantom Menace!"
		[takes it out of the package and activates it]
Lawless:	[gasps] You removed it from its original packaging!
Collector:	No!  It's no longer a collectible!
		[staggers backward until he crashes through a 
		railing and plunges into the Lucite tank]
Lawless:	[walks up to the railing and frees herself from the 
		pouch]  What a nerd.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The Collector climbs out of the tank, covered in Lucite.  He knows 
% the end is near, and strikes a dramatic pose.

Lucite hardening ... must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose from 
"Battlestar Galactica."  Best ... death ... ever!
-- The Comic Book Guy, er, The Collector, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% With evil thwarted for another day, Bart, Lisa, and Lawless gather 
% in front of the comic shop.

Bart:		Wow!  Thanks for saving us.
Lawless:	No problem.  Now let's get you kids home.
		[picks the two up, and begins to fly back home]
Lawless:	Wait a minute -- Xena can't fly.
Lawless:	I told you, I'm not Xena.  I'm Lucy Lawless.
Lisa:		Oh.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% With a brief reprise of the theme ("Stretch Dude and Clobber 
% Girl!"), the trio flies home.  The world is safe again.  But, for 
% how long?
%
% [End of Act Two.  Time:  14:12]
%
% The final tale for tonight is a timely one.  We call it:
%
% 			Life's a Glitch, Then You Die
%
% It isn't New Year's Eve without Dick Clark, and tonight he forgoes 
% Times Square to host the festivities in Springfield.  As usual, 
% there's an all-start lineup that includes Whitesnake.  Or maybe 
% Quiet Riot.  Or is that Ratt?
%
% Back at home, the Simpsons and their guests sum up the previous
% millenium.

Abe:	Man alive, what a stink-o thousand years!  Blimp wrecks, 
	teenagers ... then again, we had two TV shows with Andy 
	Griffith.
Marge:	And eleven with Robert Urich.
-- Putting it in perspective, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Rick James performs at Springfield Town Square ...

James:	[singing] Superfreak, superfreak!
	I'm superfreakin', yow!
	[two policemen come up, handcuff James, and lead him away]
	Aw, man, what'd I do now?
Clark:	Wonderful; now that's dedicated to all you supergeeks who 
	rocked around the clock to exterminate America's Y2K bugs.  
	Slammin'!
	[scene shifts to the Simpson house]
Lenny:	Hey Homer, weren't you the plant's Y2K compliance officer?
Homer:	Absolutely.
Carl:	Must've been hard, debugging all those computers, eh, 
	Homer?
Homer:	Doing what, now?
Lisa:	You did fix them, didn't you Dad?  Because even a single 
	faulty unit can corrupt every other computer in the world.
Homer:	That can't be true, honey.  If it were, I'd be terrified.
-- Now *I'm* terrified, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The big moment arrives, as the crowd counts down the ball drop.  
% (Dick Clark takes a moment to thank Dixie Brand Mayonnaise.)  
% Meanwhile, technicians in a Y2K monitoring center grow alarmed.  It 
% seems that one errant computer -- Homer's -- is causing a cascading 
% series of failures, just as Lisa had foreseen.
%
% Oblivious, the crowd continues to count down.  Their blissful 
% ignorance does not last long.  When the ball touches the town hall's 
% roof, the New Year is declared as ... 1900.  Right on cue, every 
% computer in Springfield goes haywire, and pandemonium ensues.  Dick 
% Clark's skin melts, and we see that he is in reality a robot.  
% Street and traffic lights go on the blink.  The "99 billion served" 
% sign at a restaurant rolls over to "zero served."  The revolving 
% restaurant spins out of control, pinning diners against the glass 
% from centripetal force before launching itself into the sky.  
% Nelson, busy copying his butt, is swallowed up by the copy machine.
%
% At home, Marge is helpless to do anything as planes fall from the 
% sky and land in the back yard.

Well, those ivory-tower eggheads have screwed us again.
-- Homer Simpson, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Homer goes to have a pre-bed glass of milk, but the carton squirts 
% him.  It seems it has a computer chip in it.  So do various 
% household appliances, which go to attack the family.  The 
% refrigerator pelts Homer with ice cubes.  The waffle iron snaps at 
% them like an angry terrier.
%
% At a church service, Reverend Lovejoy delivers a suitably 
% Apocalyptic sermon.

Lovejoy:	Judgement Day is upon us.  I warned you the Lord wouldn't 
		stand for your minidresses and Beatle boots.
Flanders:	[trying to remove a pair of said boots]  I've resisted 
		these for thirty-five years.  Why did I wear them today?
Lovejoy:	But it's not too late to repent your sins and be embraced 
		by the Almighty --
Wiggum:		[runs into the church]  Hey, everybody!  They're looting 
		the mall, hurry!  I've got nine shoe buffers!  [holds one 
		up]
		[the parishioners run out the door]
Homer:		[trying to run, but failing]  I'm caught on something!
		[the camera pans to reveal that Marge is tugging on his 
		jacket]
Marge:		I don't want you looting.
Homer:		But I was going to loot you a present.
Marge:		[touched] Oh, all right.
Homer:		[giggles and runs off]
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Homer winds up looting a Lady Remington shaver for his wife.  It 
% goes bonkers and tries for Marge's jugular.  She wrests it off her 
% neck, and tosses it onto the grass.  It cuts an irregular path as it 
% goes on a rampage through town.
%
% The family walks through town, past malfunctioning devices of all 
% kinds.

Lisa:	[sarcastic] Well, look at the wonders of the computer age 
	now.
Homer:	Wonders, Lisa, or blunders?
Lisa:	I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer:	Implied, Lisa, or implode?
Lisa:	Mom, make him stop.
-- Stop, Lisa, or stoop?  "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The Simpsons happen upon Krusty, who is having a Y2K crisis of his 
% own.  His pacemaker is stuck in the "hummingbird" mode.  Krusty 
% lifts himself in the air briefly by flapping his arms, before 
% collapsing on the ground.

Bart:	[tearfully] Krusty!  [perks up] Hey, a note.
	[removes it from Krusty's shirt pocket and reads it]
	You have been selected for "Operation Exodus."
Lisa:	They're evacuating the Earth!  We're saved!
Homer:	Thank you, sweet clown.  In death you saved us all.
	[they walk away]
Krusty:	[offscreen] I'm not dead.
Homer:	I can still hear his voice on the wind.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Bart is the first to see the Exodus rocket.  A lone sentry stands 
% guard at the bottom of the gantry; his job is to make sure only the 
% invited people get on board.  A long line forms in front of the 
% guard post, and most of the people are A-list celebrities and 
% businessmen:  Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, Michele Kwan, and more.  
% Lisa quickly figures out the plan:  Start a new civilization, seeded 
% with today's "best and brightest" people.  Homer figures that 
% includes the Simpsons.
%
% The move to the head of the line.

Guard:	Name, please.
Homer:	Certainly.  I am ... the, uh, piano genius from the movie, 
	"Shine."
Guard:	Uh-huh.  And your name is?
Homer:	Uh ... Shiney McShine?
Lisa:	Actually, he's Homer Simpson.  That's Bart, I'm Lisa.
Guard:	Lisa Simpson?  Ah, you're the ship's proofreader; welcome 
	aboard.  Now, before you enter, you're going to have to 
	make a very difficult choice.  You're only allowed to take 
	one parent with you--
Lisa:	Mom.
	[Marge (carrying Maggie) and Lisa get in the gantry's 
	elevator]
Marge:	Love you lots.
Homer:	Goodbye, Lisa.  Remember me as I am -- filled with 
	murderous rage.
-- "Treehouse of Horror X"

% The rocket lifts off, and heads to Mars.  Homer and Bart are 
% resigned to their fates.  At least they had "long, full lives."  
% Well, at least Homer did.
%
% Their spirits lift when they see another spaceship, with nobody 
% guarding it.  They quickly run aboard.  Both rockets streak away 
% from the Earth.  Homer looks through a porthole, still unable to 
% believe all the trouble he caused.  Bart advises him to let the past 
% go.

Homer:	All that counts is that we're alive and rubbing elbows 
	with the greats.  [gasps] Ooh, there's Ross Perot, Dr. 
	Laura, Spike Lee.
Bart:	Wait a minute, they're not so great.
Homer:	Okay but there's Dan Quayle, Courtney Love, [increasing 
	panic], Tonya Harding, Al Sharpton, Ah!  Tom Arnold!  What 
	the hell's going on?
Bart:	[looking out porthole] Wait!  Only that ship's going to 
	Mars.  Ours is headed for the sun.
Arnold:	Yeah, ain't that a kick in the teeth?  I mean, my shows 
	weren't great but I never tied people up and forced them 
	to watch.  And I could've, because I'm a big guy and I'm 
	good with knots.
Homer:	So we're all going to die?
Arnold:	'Fraid so, but, hey, the grub's pretty good, huh?  
	[chuckles, and then pours a can of peaches in his mouth]
Homer:	The sun?  That's the hottest place on Earth.
Shore:	Gonna work on my tannage, buddy.
Arnold:	Pauly Shore?  Wow!  Hey, we should do a show together, 
	man.  That's a sure cure for the blues!
-- The cure's worse than the disease, "Treehouse of Horror X"

% Rosie O'Donnell appears, and implores the ship's passengers to sing 
% along to "Clang, Clang, Clang."  Everyone breaks into song, and Bart 
% reassures his Dad that they'll be dead in five minutes.  "Not fast 
% enough," says Homer, and pushes the seat's eject button.  As he and 
% Bart float through the vacuum of space, their heads inflate like 
% balloons.  Offscreen, they pop.  But at least the don't have to hang 
% out with Pauly Shore.
%
% The Halloween credits roll.  Instead of the normal Gracie shush, we 
% hear a scream.
%
% [End of Act Three.  Time:  21:34]

==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{ah}  Alan Hamilton
{al}  Andrew Levine
{al2} Adam Long
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{cg}  Curtis Gibby
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dh}  Dean Humphries
{dj}  Darrel Jones
{dld} Daniel L. Dreibelbis
{dp}  Debra Padula
{ds}  David Sibley
{dt}  Dan Tropea
{er}  Evan Ross
{gc}  Gareth Cuillin
{gg}  Gerry Garrelts
{hl}  Haynes Lee
{jc}  Jeff Cross
{jg2} Joe Green
{jk}  Joe Klemm
{ms}  Mike Smith
{ol}  Ondre Lombard
{rg}  Rebecca Gedalius
{th}  Tony Hill
{tr}  Tom Rinschler

==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
This episode capsule is Copyright 2000 Benjamin Robinson.  It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (capsules@snpp.com).  All quoted material and episode summaries
remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox.  All
other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors.  The
transcript itself is Copyright 2000 Benjamin Robinson.  This capsule has been
brought to you by Gary North's Y2K Consulting and Small Motor Repair Agency.

This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie,
Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are
today.