Welcome to The Simpsons Archive's episode guide. Episodes are grouped by season and sorted in broadcast order. While premier broadcast dates are given as a reference, you must refer to the air dates chart for information on all successive Fox network broadcast dates.

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Simpson Family
Season Fourteen (2002-2003) ·  22 Episodes

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Treehouse of Horror XIII (#DABF19 / SI-1319) 3 Nov 2002
Maggie Roswell returns as the ghost of Maude Flanders, plus:
  • "Send in the Clones" - in a takeoff on the movie Multiplicity, Homer's hammock starts making clones of of which kills Flanders.
  • "The Fright to Creep and Scare Harms" - ten years after "Dial Z for Zombies", the zombies rise again, this time armed cowboy zombies ready to take over an unarmed Springfield (thanks to Lisa's cash-for-guns program).
  • "The Island of Dr. Hibbert" - any similarities to The Island of Dr. Moreau, where humans (like, say, the Simpsons) are crossed with animals, are coincidental - yeah, that's it, coincidental.
    Note: This episode aired before the "official" Season 14 premiere; as a result, it is not "officially" considered to be part of any season, but a "special"
  • How I Spent My Strummer Vacation (#DABF22 / SI-1322) 10 Nov 2002
    Homer is secretly videotaped complaining about his family while in cab (a la Taxi Cab Confessions). In an effort to help him regroup, Marge, Bart, Lisa and little Maggie send him to Mick Jagger's (playing himself) Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy camp. Once there, Homer lives the life of a rock star, taught to him by the likes of Sir Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Lenny Kravitz, Elvis Costello, Tom Petty and Brian Setzer, all of whom guest star as themselves.

    Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Grade (#DABF20 / SI-1320) 17 Nov 2002
    After taking an aptitude test, Bart is held back a grade, and Lisa is skipped ahead, landing them both in third grade at the same time, and in the same class. Tension develops between them, but they are forced to work together when they become lost on a school field trip.

    Large Marge (#DABF18 / SI-1318) 24 Nov 2002
    Marge mistakenly thinks Homer is eyeing other women. In an effort to uplift her appeal, she decides to get plastic surgery to look younger. But the surgery goes awry when Marge receives breast implants that were meant for a younger patient. Meanwhile, Bart and Milhouse catch an episode of Batman where Batman and Robin battle Clown Man - who happens to look a lot like Krusty. Guest stars Adam West, Burt Ward, Susan Yezzi, Jan Hooks, and the Baha Men.

    Helter Shelter (#DABF21 / SI-1321) 1 Dec 2002
    While the Simpson house is being fumigated after a Russian termite infestation, the family moves into a house that's part of a reality show where they have to live in 1895. When the ratings for the show begin to fail, the producers bring in Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley. Guest stars Larry Holmes and David Lander.

    The Great Louse Detective (#EABF01 / SI-1401) 15 Dec 2002
    Somebody from Homer's past tries to murder him, and it's up to Sideshow Bob to help Homer find out who that person is. Kelsey Grammer returns as Sideshow Bob.

    Special Edna (#EABF02 / SI-1402) 5 Jan 2003
    After cancelling an apple picking trip due to "mother issues", Principal Skinner upsets Ms. Krabappel. When Bart discovers this, he gets Edna nominated for Teacher of the Year and everyone travels to Orlando, Florida for the ceremony. Skinner decides to tag along, and musters up the courage to propose to Edna. Little Richard guest stars as himself.

    The Dad Who Knew Too Little (#EABF03 / SI-1403) 12 Jan 2003
    After Homer gets Lisa an inappropriate birthday present, he worries that he is losing touch with his daughter, so he hires a private investigator to follow her around. Guest stars Elliot Gould.

    The Strong Arms of the Ma (#EABF04 / SI-1404) 300th Episode 2 Feb 2003
    Marge is mugged at the Kwik-E-Mart and has a severe anxiety attack, which makes her completely unable to leave the house. In order to pass the time, Marge begins lifting weights, which make her stronger and ultimately allows her to overcome her fear. Marge's newfound physique motivates her to take up body building, and she wins 2nd prize in a contest. But when she begins taking steroids on the advice of Ruth Powers, she becomes aggressive and in a fit of rage destroys Moe's, which prompts Marge to rethink her new lifestyle.

    Pray Anything (#EABF06 / SI-1406) 9 Feb 2003
    When Flanders wins a half-time money shot during a WNBA game, Homer decides his neighbor's secret to success is praying. Homer starts praying to get his way with everything...and it works. He even prays himself into an injury lawsuit against the Church and is awarded with the deed to the property. Homer promptly moves the family in, while Helen and the Reverend have been relocated to the Flanders and reduced to preaching at the Bowl-A-Rama. It can only take a miracle to make Homer see the error of his ways. Guest stars Lisa Leslie (WNBA player) as herself.

    Barting Over (#EABF05 / SI-1405) 16 Feb 2003
    Bart learns that he had acted in commercials as a baby, as Baby Stinkbreath (for a baby mouthwash) and that Homer has squandered all his money on buying back incriminating photos of Homer dropping Bart from a balcony. Bart becomes so angry, he sues to become an emancipated minor. Frustrated, Bart leaves home and lands in a loft, where guest stars Tony Hawk and Blink 182 are also living. Somehow the whole troupe winds up at the Skewed Tour, a parody of the rock & roll/extreme sports festival the Warped Tour. Also guest stars Jane Kaczmarek as Judge Harm.
    Note: Fox advertised this episode as the 300th episode, which first aired two weeks earlier, but they wanted to air it on the same day it aired the 2003 Daytona 500 automobile race. Because of this, Fox did some "creative accounting" and explained that this episode is "the 300th produced since the show started as a series, not counting the Christmas Special" (never mind that it counted in determining the 100th, 168th, and 200th episodes). This discrepancy is referenced in the episode, when Marge comments that it is the 300th time something has happened and Lisa thinks it is the 302nd.

    I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can (#EABF07 / SI-1407) 16 Feb 2003
    While Homer falls in love with the new limited-time Krusty Ribwich, Lisa enjoys the sudden popularity of being a spelling champ -- and soon becomes the state rep for the Spell-lympics. When the Ribwich is discontinued locally, Homer joins up with the Ribheads and follows the mystery meat sandwich tour around the country. At the finals, George Plimpton tells Lisa to take a dive (and get a free college scholarship) so that a cuter kid will win and ensure the future of competitive spelling. Guest stars George Plimpton.
    Note: The show's opening credits say that this is the 301st episode, even though it isn't, either by counting where it is in the airing order (303rd) or using the method to declare "Barting Over" the 300th (making this one the 302nd, after "Pray Anything").

    A Star is Born-Again (#EABF08 / SI-1408) 2 Mar 2003
    In a send-up of "Notting Hill", Ned Flanders begins dating a forgotten starlet. Guest stars Marisa Tomei, Helen Fielding, and James L. Brooks.

    Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington (#EABF09 / SI-1409) 9 Mar 2003
    Krusty gets elected to Congress in part to help get the flight path for Springfield Airport diverted from directly over Homer's house, but he falls in line with the conservatives once he's there.

    C. E. D'oh (#EABF10 / SI-1410) 16 Mar 2003
    After being rejected by a sleepy Marge on Valentine's Night, Homer enrolls in Stark Richdale's extension class Successmanship 101, which gives him the "Megatronics" tools needed to take over the SNPP - by replacing the plant's true owner, a canary, with himself, and firing Mr. Burns.

    'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky (#EABF11 / SI-1411) 30 Mar 2003
    Snobby English documentary filmmaker Declan Desmond convinces Lisa she must choose a career path immediately, prompting her entry into astronomy. But when her successful petition to reduce outdoor light pollution gives criminals increased cover of darkness, an angered citizenry sees to it that Springfield's outdoor lighting becomes brighter than ever, leading to perpetual daylight. Meanwhile, after being humiliated at the hands of Nelson and company, Bart tries to salvage his cool by stealing the golden hood ornament from Fat Tony's '30s Stutz Bearcat-style gangster car. Guest stars Eric Idle as Desmond and Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony.

    Three Gays of the Condo (#EABF12 / SI-1412) 13 Apr 2003
    While looking for a missing puzzle piece, Homer stumbles upon an angry note Marge wrote on the back of a placemat one night when he suffered alcohol poisoning. Homer wonders why Marge every stayed with him and decided he wasn't good enough for her. So Homer moves out and settles on a condo, which he shares with two homosexuals. Guest stars Weird Al Yankovic as himself, Scott Thompson as Grady, Terry W. Greene as Julio, and Ben Schatz (of Kinsey Sicks) as himself.

    Dude, Where's My Ranch? (#EABF13 / SI-1413) 27 Apr 2003

    While out Christmas caroling, the family finds out from a lawyer that the carol they are singing is copyrighted, leading Homer to write his own carol. But when Ned tries to help, Homer turns it into an anti-Flanders song. A passing David Byrne just happens to hear Homer play his song at Moe's, and he turns it into a hit record. When stardom becomes too much, the family spends a week at a dude ranch. Lisa initially objects, until she meets a young junior wrangler named Luke Stetson. Guest stars Jonathan Taylor Thomas , Andy Serkis, and David Byrne.

    Old Yeller-Belly (#EABF14 / SI-1414) 4 May 2003
    Santa's Little Helper is shunned as a coward after opting to devour a roast turkey rather than pull Homer from a fire. Getting his nose stuck in a can of Duff Beer afterward, however, proves to be somewhat of a spirit-booster when it propels him to the status of Spuds McDuff: the Duff Brewery's new mascot. But matters worsen when the the dog's new-found fame (and net worth) cause his original race track owner to come forth and reclaim his "property" -- leaving it up to the Simpsons to get their dog back by proving Santa's Little Helper is a coward unfit to hawk Duff beer. Guest stars Stacy Keach as Howard K. Duff VII.

    Brake My Wife, Please (#EABF15 / SI-1415) 11 May 2003
    Judge Harm revokes Homer's license, and he discovers the healthy joys of walking, while Marge becomes stressed by the added running around to the point where she accidentally runs him over. Now Marge has to nurse him on top of everything else and they realize they need to visit a marriage counsellor. Homer realizes he must do unselfish deeds for his wife to save their marriage. Guest stars Steve Buscemi and Jackson Browne as themselves, and Jane Kaczmarek as Judge Harm.

    The Bart of War (#EABF16 / SI-1416) 18 May 2003
    After his latest bout of mischief results in another encounter with the Springfield police department (as the result of watching a South Park episode), Marge and Homer elect to place Bart into a program of supervised afternoon activities - in the form of a quasi-Native American tribe dubbed "The Pre-Teen Braves." But tribal war ensues when his clan is forced into a game of community service one-upsmanship with an opposing group of do-gooders, "The Cavalry Kids.".

    Moe Baby Blues (#EABF17 / SI-1417) 18 May 2003
    When the entire town shows up at the Springfield Botanical Gardens to watch the once-in-a-lifetime blooming of the Sumatran Century Flower, there is room for everyone but Moe. The event causes a panic and during the ensuing traffic jam Maggie is thrown from the Simpsons' car into the arms of a suicidal Moe - who is dubbed a hero by the city. Maggie accepts him unconditionally as her new babysitter and surrogate father, much to Homer's dismay and rage, while Moe's new reason to live starts to turn into an obsession that proves useful when Maggie gets in the middle of a mafia gang war between Fat Tony and "Don" Castellaneta. Guest stars Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony.

    NOTE: All titles and synopses for episodes in development are subject to later modification.

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    Originally by Mark Holtz and Dave Hall. Contributions from Brian Petersen and Matt Rose.