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A blue line is used to provide the episode where the blackboard quote was first used. A red line is used to indicate a blackboard quote was never used. A green line is used for blackboard quotes geared to a particular usage that would not be used in an episode. I will not waste chalk Bart Simpson T-shirt. (1990) Packaging for Bart Simpson (shaped) chalk. (1990) December section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) Back cover of The Simpsons Back to School Homework Organizer (1995) (Australia) Converse Simpsons sneaker line (Jun 2013) This, the first blackboard quote, appeared in 7G02 in January 1990. Biting is unsanitary and rude. Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #1. (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not belch the national anthem. Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #2. (1990) October section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) This first appeared in 7F15 in February 1991. I will not encourage others to fly Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #3. (1990) June section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) This first appeared in 7F03 in October 1990. Giving people wedgies is not clever Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #4. (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not do anything bad ever again Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #5. (1990) August section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) This first appeared in 7F20 in May 1991. I will not drive the principal's car Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #6. (1990) This first appeared in 7F06 in December 1990. I will spend my time productively Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #7. (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. Tar is not a plaything Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #8. (1990) This first appeared in 7F02 in October 1990. I will not lie, cheat, or spit Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #9 (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #10. (1990) This first appeared in 7G01 in May 1990. I will not add to the nation's problems Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #11. (1990) September section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. Krusty the Clown is not God Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #12 (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not trade pants with others Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #13 (1990) This first appeared in 7F05 in November 1990. Hamsters do not eat onion rings Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #14 (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not do that thing with my tongue Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #15 (1990) July section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) This first appeared in 7F07 in November 1990. I will not undermine traditional American values Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #16 (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. Cursing is a crutch Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #17 (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I am not a 32 year old woman Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #18 (1990) This first appeared in 7F08 in November 1990. I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #19 (1990) This first appeared in 7F18 in April 1991. I will not sell school property Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #20 (1990) This first appeared in 7F10 in January 1991. I will not get very far with this attitude. Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #21 (1990) February section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) This first appeared in 7F12 in January 1991. I will not overestimate my own popularity. Topps 1990 Trading Cards sticker #22 (1990) March section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not sneak on the lot without a pass Billboard sign outside of Fox Studios (1990) (A photo appeared in the Oct 1990 issue of Movieline magazine) Would not be appropriate for a blackboard quote. I will not claim reporters are coming to see us Interview of Bart Simpson in the June 28 1990 issue of Rolling Stone magazine (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not juggle food in the cafeteria Thermos brand child's thermos (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not throw paper airplanes in class School pencil case (1990) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not read this magazine in class Simpsons Illustrated #1, Cover (1991) UK Simpsons Comics #1, Cover (Mar 1997) (UK) Would not be appropriate for a blackboard quote. I will not Xerox my butt. January section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) This first appeared in 7F01 in November 1990. This punishment is not boring and pointless April section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) This subsequently appeared in 8F24 in September 1992. I will not "just say no" to homework May section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not say "man" so much, man November section in The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (1991) (UK) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. Principal Skinner wears a toupee The Simpsons Student Diary 1992 (back cover) (1991) (UK) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not get anywhere by drawing crude cartoons Simpsons Illustrated #6, Within comic "Dial 'M' for Moe" (1992) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. The armpit is not a musical instrument Simpsons Illustrated #8, Within comic "Return to Slander" (1993) This came out two years prior to the appearance in 3F01 in October 1995 I will not talk back to my superiors Simpsons Comics #4, It's In The Cards, p18 (Lisa) (May 1994) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not manipulate the trading card market Simpsons Comics #4, It's In The Cards, p21 (May 1994) Used within comic story, would not be appropriate for a blackboard quote. I will not hang doughnuts on my person Tempo Australian card set, cards 82-90 (zombie puzzle formed from card set) (1996) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not attempt to boost my grade by causing civil unrest Simpsons Comics #19, Don't Cry For Me, Jebediah!, p19 (Apr 1996) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not taunt other students with my knowledge of the Monroe Doctrine. Simpsons Comics #20, The Artist Formerly Known As Bart, p21 (May 1996) Used within comic story, would not be appropriate for a blackboard quote. I will not gossip about inter-faculty relationships Simpsons Comics #23, Bart De Triomphe, p2 (Aug 1996) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will not deface National monuments (Written on Hero of Grenada Memorial Wall) Simpsons Comics #23, Citizen Shame!, p3 (Aug 1996) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. School glue does not belong in the microwave 1997 childrens Valentine's card (1997) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. TV Guide is Not the Great Canadian Novel Cover of TV Guide (Canada), Mar 29 1997 (1997) Would not be appropriate for a blackboard quote. Beans are neither fruit nor musical Bart Simpson T-shirt (1998) This first appeared in 1F22 in September 1994. All blackboard quotes from the first 200 episodes I will not stop at 200 episodes Cover of Hollywood Reporter, Apr 24-26 1998 (1998) The cover featured all blackboard quotes from the first 200 episodes followed by a new quote. I will finish what I start Bart Simpson lunchbox (1999??) (See additional entires below!) This first appeared in 8F05 in October 1991. I will finish what I start (last line on sticker 62 truncated) Panini Sticker Collection I, stickers 61 & 62 (1999) First released in UK for The Simpsons: The Springfield Sticker Collection Sticker albums subsequently re-released and released in many, many countries across many years This first appeared in 8F05 in October 1991. I will finish what I start (last line on sticker truncated) Panini Sticker Collection II, lenticular sticker 16 (2000) This is a lenticular version of sticker 61 from Panini Sticker Collection I First released in UK for The Simpsons: The Springfield Collection II Sticker albums subsequently re-released and released in many, many countries across many years This first appeared in 8F05 in October 1991. I will not eat things for money Cover of The Simpsons Diary and Address Book (2000) This first appeared in 9F10 in January 1993. I will not barf unless I'm sick. Topps 2002 Trading Cards card #8. (2002) This first appeared in 8F15 in February 1992. Funny noises are not funny. Topps 2002 Trading Cards card #16. (2002) This first appeared in 8F20 in April 1992. I will not encourage others to fly. Topps 2002 Trading Cards card #24. (2002) This first appeared in 7F03 in October 1990. Organ transplants are best left to the professionals. Topps 2002 Trading Cards card #32. (2002) This first appeared in 1F15 in March 1994. This punishment is not boring and pointless. Topps 2002 Trading Cards card #40. (2002) This first appeared in 8F24 in September 1992. I will be a better principal and son March page from The Simpsons Fun Calendar 2004 (2003) Would not be appropriate for a blackboard quote. Ich will ein besserer rektor und sohnsein Märs [March] page from The Simpsons Spass Kalendar 2004 (2003) Image above stolen for use on an Illegal Congo Postage Stamp (2004) Would not be appropriate for a blackboard quote. I am not too big for Kindergarten Bart Simpson #38, Principal Simpson, p7 (Principal Skinner) (Oct 2007) Not used in any episode opening. Yet. I will finish what I start Child's belt pack, seen for sale in France (2010) This first appeared in 8F05 in October 1991. I will not forget your birthday, miss your bar mitzvah, lose your phone number, be late for practice or fail to turn in my book report on time ever again. The Simpsons 2012 Daily Planner (back cover) (2011) Would not be appropriate for a blackboard quote. Unofficial References I will not claim reporters are coming to see us Rolling Stone, Jun 28 1990, quote within article (1990) I will not read "The Face" in class The Face, Mar 1991, p64 (1991) I will not read Cracked in class I will not get caught reading Cracked in class Cracked TV Collector's Edition #89, Jan 1992, cover (1992) I will not waste chalk People Weekly, Mar 7 - 14 1994, p84 (1994) This was a screenshot taken from 7G02 in January 1990. I will not draw Obama the way I drew Bush "School for politically correct cartoonists" and drawing of Bush as a monkey in the background Political cartoon by By Christo Komarnitski, Bulgaria, Feb 25, 2009 (2009) I will not check all the facts before I post online misleading video clips taken totally out of context Conservative Blogger Andrew Breitbart Simpson Political cartoon by By RJ Matson, The New York Observer, Jul 21, 2010 (2010) Education is [Inserted: ...going to be a priority sometime in...] the future Bart is labelled "State Budgets" Political cartoon by By RJ Matson, The St. Louis Post Dispatch, Mar 11, 2011 (2011) I must not copy what I see on the Simpsons Banksy street art (and subsequent prints) New Orleans, LA (March 2011)
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Last updated on October 13, 2013 by Bruce Gomes (bruce@simpsonsarchive.com) 
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