The Lunchlady Doris File

"There's very little meat in these gym mats!"
-- "The PTA Disbands"

Who Is Lunchlady Doris?
Lunchlady Doris (voiced by the late Doris Grau) is Springfield Elementary School lunchlady. She is a lousy, passive smoker. She is not a very enthusiastic towards her job. She is the school nurse, in a few episodes ("I get two pay-checks this way"). She is now a silent background character, so don't expect her to say anything. Tress MacNeille is now starting to sound a lot like Doris; eg: as the MAD Magazine secretary in [4F22]

Who was Doris Grau, and how'd she die?
Doris Grau passed away on 12/30/95 due to a respiratory failure. [3F10] "In Loving Memory of Doris Grau". She died at the age of 71. Doris had a pretty good career, she voiced a few character (along with Lunchlady Doris) on The Simpsons. And she was also the voice of Doris the Hairdresser, on "The Critic". Along with voicing a few characters, acting in shows/films she also was a Script Supervisor on many shows, for example: "The Tracey Ullman Show". She was also the Script Supervisor on the pilot episode of the ever-so popular TV show "Seinfeld". Since the passing character Lunchlady Doris has been moved to a silent background character

Doris Grau's Creepy Halloween Names
[2F03] Demonic Doris Grau

Why Doris has speaking role's in Season 9's "Lisa's Sax"?
Yes, you read it right, "Speaking Role" Lunchlady Doris did actually have a speaking role in episode [3G02] "Lisa's Sax".
The reason of this is that, this episode was produced in the '3G' line of production, and the 4 episodes aired in Season 8 & 9.
Those 4 episodes were produced separately by Al Jean & Mike Reiss in their years of production (When they were in charge).

Doris working as a nurse
Lunchlady Doris has works as a nurse once in a while. Originally she was definitely not intended to be nurse. Like in [7F03]
"Bart Gets an F" she is not seen, another nurse is seen.

[9F18] Tends to Chalmers' wounds, after the tractor incident.
[2F32] Attempts to help Bart; she is working there due to budget cuts.
[3F04] Wheels (dead) Martin out of the room and into the kindergarten.
[5F15] Puts Willie in to a back of an ambulance.
[AABF07] Works at a baseball game, testing urine samples of players.

Characters that are voiced by Doris Grau
[----] Lunchlady Doris ["Whatever"]
[7F10] Della ["They need your help on some freedom thing"] {mjp}
[8F05] Waitress ["You think you're funny?"] {mjp}
[8F10] Chapel clerk ["The tenth wedding is on the house"]
[9F02] Ice Cream Lady ["I misjudged you"]
[9F10] Lurleen Lumpkin ["I spent last night in a ditch!"] {mjp}
[9F11] Complaint Woman ["Get Bent!"]
[9F16] Roxie ["Sir, a Lisa & Bart Simpson sent you a script"] {mjp}

Lunchlady Doris's Appearances

Season 3
[8F06] Is shocked when Bart does his impression of her
[8F06] Is a judge at the school talent show. {mjp}

Season 4
[9F13] Tells the heart boy to do his job. {mjp}
[9F18] Poses at the school nurse, says she gets two pay-checks this way.

Season 5
[1F18] Covers Willie with grease, so he can go in the vent.
[1F18] Cooks assorted horse parts, in a big pot.

Season 6
[2F03] Cooks the kids of Springfield Elementary in "Nightmare Cafeteria".
[2F15] Roasts a pig at the festival.
[2F15] Serves cake at the wedding. {mjp}
[2F19] Attempts to get meat out of a gym mat.
[2F32] Working as the nurse, due to budget cuts.
[2F16] Requests new kitchen staff.
[2F16] Seen in Skinner's office, after they find out that Burns stole their oil.
[2F16] Seen at the town meeting.
[2F16] She comments on eternal darkness. {mjp}

Season 7
[2F20] She's one of the crowd chasing after Homer. {mjp}
[2F20] She is seen in the crowd when Mr. Burns is being taken to hospital.
[2F17] Helping out with the auditions for the Radioactive Man Movie. {mjp}
[3F02] She is one of the members of the congregation singing to "In The Garden Of Eden". {mjp}
[3F03] Claims that the meatloaf at the cafeteria does not actually contain meat.
[3F04] After Martin dies; she wheels him out of the room, and into the kindergarten. {mjp}
[3F10] Claims she has no son, while at the bowling alley.
[3F10] Present the uniforms to the children at Springfield Elementary.
[3F10] This episode "Team Homer" is dedicated to her in loving memory.
[3F13] She is one of the people watching the bicentennial parade. {mjp}
[3F18] She is seen laughing at Nelson at the end. {mjp}

Season 8
[4F06] There's a picture of Doris at Maison Derriere.
[4F06] Seen at the town meeting.
[3F24] She is in the crowd at the chilli cook-off. {mjp}
[3G01] She is seen on the last Friday night, before the crowd bursts into song. {mjp}
[3G03] She is seen at Church. {mjp}
[4F13] Seen at church.
[4F13] Is one of the many people laughing at Homer being soaked by the water fountain. {mjp}
[4F09] Seen standing outside the school during the hold-up.

Season 9
[3G02] Skinner introduces Doris to the new students.
[5F14] Doris is one of the people celebrating the new year. {mjp}
[5F15] Is seen inspecting the creamed corn truck with Groundskeeper Willie. {mjp}
[5F15] After Willie's shed explodes, she and another nurse put him on a stretcher, and into an ambulance.

Season 10
[AABF07] Two baseballers hand urine samples to Lunchlady Doris and she dips litmus paper in them. {mjp}
[AABF07] She is seen among the other angry adults at the billboard. {mjp}
[AABF10] She is one of the school staff performing in That's Edu-Tainment, and is in the pyramid. {mjp}

Season 11
[BABF07] Doris is one of the people outside the school when Skinner announces its closing. {mjp}
[BABF19] She is one of the many people in the huge cast picture of The Simpsons. {mjp}

Season 12
[CABF05] When Skinner is planning to rearrange the lunch timetables, she opens her mouth to speak, but is interrupted by Milhouse. {mjp}

Season 13
[CABF19] Doris is one of the faces in the wailing wall. {mjp}
[DABF03] She is one of the people in the crowd when Springfield is announced as America's Fattest City. {mjp}

Season 14
[DABF19] She is among the gun-weilding crowd. {sb}
[EABF14] Seen at the opening of the treehouse. {sb}
[EABF17] Seen in the crowd at the garden, when Wiggum is looking for somebody to kick out. {mjp}

Season 15
[EABF20] Seen in the school cafeteria. {pb}
[EABF20] Is cleaning up at the casino. {sb}
[EABF20] She was in the teachers chorus. {sb}
[FABF09] Seen in the cafeteria as Lisa tries out her new personas. {sb}
[FABF12] She is seen in the cafeteria serving shrimp tails after the ceremony. {st}

Season 16
[FABF20] Seen just before Sideshow Mel comments on Marge's cooking.
[GABF04] Seen at wedding. {lje}

Lunchlady Doris's Quotes

Season 3
[8F06] Lisa's Pony: {mjp}
Doris: Well this is a whole lot of nothing!

Season 4
[9F13] I Love Lisa:
Heart Boy: Where do you want these beef hearts?
Doris: On the floor.
Heart Boy: It doesn't look very clean.
Doris: Just do your job, heart boy.

[9F18] Whacking Day:
Chalmers: Ow. Ow. Ow. Seymour, I was thinking of promoting you to assistant superintendent but, instead, that plum goes to Holloway.
Skinner: Oh, but sir, he's a drunk.
Chalmers: And a pill-popper.
Skinner: If I could just...
Chalmers: Silence! And why is the cafeteria worker posing as a nurse?
Doris: I get two pay-checks this way.
Chalmers: [blandly] D'oh.

Season 5
[1F18] Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadassss Song: {mjp}
Doris: More testicles mean more iron!

[1F18] Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadassss Song:
Doris: Lunchlady Doris. Have you got any grease?
Doris: Yes, yes we do.
Doris: [rips of his shirt, revealing his chest] Then grease me up women!
Doris: Okey-Dokey.

Season 6
[2F03] Treehouse of Horror V: {mjp}
Skinner: This overcrowding in detention is becoming critical. It's a powder keg waiting to go off in an explosion of unacceptable behaviour.
Doris: Don't bitch to me, boss man. Thanks to the latest budget cuts I'm down to using Grade F meat!
Skinner: Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was some sort of common solution to both our problems?
Doris: That would be great.

[2F03] Treehouse of Horror V:
Doris: OK, I got your German grub right here.

[2F15] Lisa's Wedding: {mjp}
Doris: Yon meat, 'tis sweet as summer's wafting breeze.
Homer: Can I have some?
Doris: Mine ears are only open to the pleas of those who speak ye olde English.
Homer: Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now my boon, that I might sup on suckling pig this noon.
Doris: Whatever.

[2F15] Lisa's Wedding:
Rev. Lovejoy: Uh, this is very sad news, and it never would have happened if the wedding had been inside the church with God instead of out here in the cheap showiness of nature.
Doris: Who wants cake?

[2F19] The PTA Disbands: {mjp}
Doris: There's very little meat in these gym mats!

[2F32] 'Round Springfield:
Bart: Lunchlady Doris? Why are you here?
Doris: Budget cuts. They've even got Groundskeeper Willy teaching French.

[2F32] 'Round Springfield:
Bart: Look, my stomach really hurts.
Doris: All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids. Your choice: Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Bluebird of Unhappiness.

[2F16] Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One):
Doris: The cafeteria staff is complaining about the mice in the kitchen. I want to hire a new staff.

[2F16] Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One): {mjp}
Doris: Eternal darkness? Well, that's just great(!)

Season 7
[2F17] Radioactive Man:
Doris: At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy?
Nelson: [badly] Watch Out!
Director: Next!
Nelson: Ha Ha! Hey, that hurts. No wonder no one came to my birthday party.
Doris: At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy?
Ralph: What's for lunch tomorrow?
Director: Next!
Ralph: Chicken Necks?

[2F17] Radioactive Man:
Doris: At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy?
Bart: Watch out, Radioactive Man!

[3F03] Lisa the Vegetarian: {mjp}
Lisa: Uhh, excuse me? Isn't there anything here that doesn't have meat in it?
Doris: Possibly the meat loaf.
Lisa: Well, I believe you're required to provide a vegetarian alternative.
Doris: [Picks up a hot dog in a bun and places it on Lisa's food tray] Yum. It's rich in bunly goodness.
Lisa: Do you remember when you lost your passion for this work?

[3F03] Team Homer:
Squeaky Voiced Teen: Sorry, it's league night. I couldn't give a lane to my own mother.
Doris: [appears on screen] I have no son! [walks away]

[3F03] Team Homer:
Doris: [commentating the new uniforms to the school] Say hello to our little genius, Martin, who looks even smarter in this vest and short-pant combination from Mr. Boy of Main Street. Or, how about little Lisa Simpson? She'll have no reason to play the blues in this snappy ensemble topped of with a saucy French beret that seems to scream, silence!

[3F03] Team Homer:
Skinner: Ah, these uniforms are godsend. Horseplay is down 40%, youthful exuberance has been cut in half, high spirits are at an all-time low.
Doris: They've even begun blinking in unison.
Skinner: [hears the students blinking] I love that sound!

Season 9
[3G02] Lisa's Sax: {mjp}
Skinner: Now I'd like to introduce you to Lunchlady Doris, who'll serve you healthy, nutritious meals.
Doris: Yeah, right(!)

{mjp} Martin J Pampel
{sb}  Steve Brown
{lje} Liam J. Elcoat
{st}  Scott T.
{pb}  Paul Bradford

"This file is dedicated to the late Doris Grau."

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Last updated on August 28, 2005 by