Lost Simpsons Episode

Fanscript

[3f32] Kent Brockman vs Laramie Cigarattes

Review by Haynes Lee, lee@adan.kingston.net {hl}

Last year there was an unlisted Simpsons episode that went through full production which had a very strong anti-tobacco company theme. Because of pressure from an unidentified tobacco company, Fox television pulled the episode. But a recent admission of liability by another tobacco company seems to have pulled out all the stops. It was shown on a Kingston Global affiliate (unannounced as usual) 10:30pm Saturday night. It might be shown on Fox next week.

A Simpsons short called "Nazis On Tap" was spiked during production. It was originally planned to air at the end of "Bart the Daredevil" [7F06]. It was however listed in some TV guides to appear March 21st, 1991.

For more info see <http://www.simpsonsarchive.com/other/nazis_on_tap.html>

"The Lost Show" was slated in the third season. The producers could not come to an agreement with the network censors, and the episode has never aired in the U.S. or Canada. It has aired in Europe.

For more info see: <http://world.std.com/~tob/mwc.htm>

In November, 1995 CBS pulled a 60 Minutes story because of pressure from a tobacco company. Mike Wallace was livid.

The Simpsons vs. Smoking list <http://www.simpsonsarchive.com/guides/smoking.simpsons.html>

 WRITTEN BY: Penny Wise
DIRECTED BY: Pound Foolish

BLACKBAORD SCENE: I will not troll the internet.

COUCH SCENE: Whole family is smoking. It then
starts raining extinguishing the cigarettes.

REVIEW: Finally an episode showing Brockman at
his best. Patty and Selma were also extra gruesome.

GRADE: A++
------------------------------------------------
SYNOPSIS:

Patty and Selma take a tour of the plant where
Laramie cigarettes are manufactured. After the
tour they go through a wrong door into a
laboratory where they see extra ingredients added
to the cigarettes (pencil shavings, turpentine,
radioactive waste, etc.)

In shock, they decide to quit smoking and go
into nicotine withdrawal fits. They take their
story to the press. Laramie cigarettes then
goes into damage control and hires Dr. Nick
Riviera who goes on tv and says smoking
cigarettes is safe as drinking water out of
the SNPP cooling pond. Whereas he takes a sip
and starts to glow.

Kent Brockman picks up on the story and sneaks
a hidden surveillance hat-camera into the plant where
he gets some incriminating footage. However
Laramie Cigarettes held a secret board meeting
and decided to put pressure on Channel 6 to pull
the show. At the very end this episode the
segment is pulled at the last minute leaving a
flustered Brockman berating Channel 6 and
Laramie cigarettes. The screen then goes blank
with the message saying
"Please Stand By: Technical Difficulties".
---------------------------------------------

DID YOU NOTICE?
   - Krusty has a cigarette in his ear?
   - SNPP smokestacks look like giant cigarette butts?
   - skunk in board meeting has a clothespin on its nose?

FREEZE FRAME FUN:
 ------------------------------------------
|                                          |
|                                          |
|                                          |
|              [menthol moose]             |
|                                          |
|                                          |
|                                          |
| WARNING: EXCESSIVE CIGARETTE SMOKING     |
|          LEADS TO LEPROSY AND CANCER     |
|          OF THE SCROTUM.                 |
 -------------------------------------------

Tobacco Board Meeting:
   Larry Larson
   Monty Burns
   Birch Barlowe (smoking cigar)
   Rainier Wolfecastle (smoking cigar)
   Krusty  (smoking cigarette)
   Mr. Teeny (smoking cigarette)
   Burns lawyer (smoking pipe)
   Mr. Black [8F24] (smoking cigarette)
   Dr. Huxtable??!!

Photograph on dartboard in boardroom:
   Dr. C. Everett Koop who was Ronald Reagan's
   Surgeon General and the most committed
   anti-smoking activist to ever hold the job.

URBAN LEGEND ALERT:
When Marge covered Lisa's and Bart's eyes in front
of the Menthol Moose poster. This is a reference to the
UL that Joe Camel's (mascot for Camel cigarettes)
nose resembles male genitalia.

MOVIE REFERENCES:
"Cold Turkey": movie about a town trying to quit smoking
               to win contest. Patty and Selma fighting
               over last cigarette similar to one scene.

MUSICAL REFERENCES: "Smoking in the Boys Room"
                    "Ain't got no cigarettes"

60 MINUTES REFERENCE: Kent Brockman chastising Channel 6
at the end is similar to Mike Wallace chastising CBS
about pulling the cigarette segment.

LARRY LARSON APPEARANCES:
[8F03] assures everyone during cigarette shortage that another
       shipment is coming in.
[9F02] hosted Little Miss Springfield pageant

LARAMIE CIGARETTES APPEARANCES:
[7F05] Laramie ad on billboard.
[7F15] P&S buy Laramie Hi-Tars
[7F21] sponsored Radioactive Man tv show during the 1950s.
[8F03] shipment of Laramie cigarettes stolen by mob.
[8F07] Laramie TAR cigarette machine in the McBain movie
[8F15] bad girls smoking Laramie Jr. cigarettes
[8F21] sponsored Spinal Tapp
[9F02] sponsored Little Miss Springfield beauty pageant
[9F07] Menthol Moose appears
[9F11] Selma buys pack of Laramie 100s
[9F22] Laramie ad at stadium
[1F17] ad for Laramie Jr. cigarettes on the back cover of
       "Bad Boy's Life"
[2F01] presents Itchy's Mine Field
[2F05] sign at rink "Menthol Moose smokes Laramies"
[2F12] Krusty smokes Laramie cigarettes
[2F20] Chief Wiggum bribes DNA Expert with carton of Laramies
[3F04] Laramie sign in septic agency
[3F08] Homer gets Marge Laramie brand cigarettes
[3F21] Laramie ad for 100s on back of magazine cover
[3F31] sponsored Satan's Formula 1 car
[3F32] Well, d'uh!

TOURS:
[8F03] Springfield Elementary tours chocolate factory.
[9F14] Homer tours Duff beer plant.
[1F11] Bart tours box factory.
[1F12] Lisa tours Malibu Stacy plant.

OTHER MARKETING CONSPIRACIES:
[2F09] egg council
[3F03] meat council

60 MINUTES:
[9F03] Homer threatens to send Grampa to crooked old folks
       home seen on 60 Minutes.
[1F07] SNPP booth boasts "As seen on 60 Minutes"
[2F03] Homer pretends to be all of Mike Wallace, Morley Safer,
       and Ed Bradley, complete with ticking watch.

60 Minutes is shown just before The Simpsons in the North America
in the Eastern time zone. In Ontario, Canada, both shows are on
Global.

PREVIOUS SHOW REFERENCES:
[7F13] screen goes blank at end.
[9F02] Menthol Moose first appears.
[9F14] CNN reported that Duff beer contaminated with strychnine.
       Foreign objects seen in beer bottles.
[9F17] "The following is a public service announcement:
        Excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver damage
        and cancer of the rectum."
[9F17] pagan holiday mentioned.
[1F02] "They'll never let us show that again,
        not in a million years!"
[1F10] surveillance hat-camera seen.
[1F11] Brockman chastises Channel 6 because of no danish.
[1F13] Channel 6 pulls plug on Brockman for "hail ants" remarks.
[2F02] ultra conservative board meeting.
[3F14] Burns lying to congress: A couple of years ago around
       a dozen tobacco representatives told Congress bear-faced
       that they do not believe that smoking causes cancer.
[3F31] Penny Wise's and Pound Foolish's only other episode.