Simpsons Song Parodies
Written by Jordan Eisenberg
A collection of parodies, sung to the tune of various Simpsons musical numbers. (Most are referring to the newsgroup alt.tv.simpsons.)
Who Needs a Social Life?
Wheather mailing list or IRC or conference in realtime There's no forum I have seen in which I'd rather waste my time. When I first arrived, you were all such nerds But now I cherish ev-v v v v v v v v v v-ry word Solon's knack for sniffing glues Ondre's FAQ and harsh reviews MutantMan's misspelling goofs Satmar's constant mental coups One good fella' is Ben Collins Sorry "Moron"s reign has fallen Who needs a social life? Now, blink and look alive: It's time to rhyme with me. Jordan: Who needs a social life? Ben Robinson: That's not a crucial life Tom Rinschler: We bring the most to life Mcgbjk: Flames, trolls and posts are rife Satmar: The Ashkenazi jews are real . . . D'oh! Who needs a social life? Not . . . MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE . . . Who needs a social life? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE . . . Forget your social life. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE . . . Who needs a social life? Not me. [After reading what I just wrote] Who needs a social life? I dooooo . . .We Put the Imps in Simpsons
(Sung to the tune of "We Put the Spring in Springfield" from 4F06)
[First posted: September 29th, 1998]
You could shut down Foxworld and alt.flame to no big objection but the driving force of Usenet's alt.tv.simpsoooons!!!!!! We're the boss on your case The stopwatch of your race We put the 'imps' in 'Simpsons' We track goofs and freeze-frame them Review and explain them 'Cause we are the imps of Simpsons! Those pimple-faced adults and teens Hunching over at their screens Memorizing p-codes, and transcribing every scene! Satmar: But, Lisa's Marxist, facts abound! MutantMan: simpsons rules u jew look down We may be lame but, just as well, We post on-topic and can spell! -- The bettle-browed critiquers! The pebble in your sneakers! Yes, we put the 'imps' in 'Simpsons'! All: I remember my first posting of which I'd not go boasting . . . Dave Hall: I told them to go read the FAQ All: Now we're the ones who get to say that! Without it life would be a bore With Friday nights alone once more Without it we'd be lost forever: Last night's was the worst ep. ever!!! -- They post, they flame, they lurk They're geniuses at work So don't take the [rapid typing] . . . We won't take the [modem dial-up] . . . Yes, let's keep the [nasal snort] in Si-i-i-impso-o-o-ons . . . [quick shots of every a.t.s.er clicking his/her respective "send" button] Bum-buuuum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Nerds!
(Sung to the tune of "Kids!" from AABF07)
[First posted: June 5th, 1999]
[spoken] Matt Groening: I liked this season. I'm sorry you guys couldn't enjoy it, but I have faith in the current staff. Ian Maxtone-Graham: It's time to pull rank, you beetle-browed freaks! Fan: You can't stop us from speaking our minds. Fan: How can you have the nerve to speak like that? Look what you've done to my favorite show! Matt Selman: Nothing pleases you hard-core fans. Fan: You writers take us fans for mindless slugs! Dan Greaney: You fans treat us like five-year-olds who just wrote on the wall with crayons! Fans: Hacks!!! Writers: Nerds!!! Fans: Hacks!!! Writers: Nerds!!! Fans: Hacks!!! [singing begins] Mike Scully: Nerds, you speak your mind, now you mind our speech! David X. Cohen: Yeah! You only type 'cause your voices screech. Donick Cary: Nerds! Without your codes and freeze-frames, you'd be in the dark. John Swartzwelder: Shameful, shameless, whining, dateless wonders. But thanks for all the ratings. Ian Maxtone-Graham: Nerds! I write and write 'til my laptop splits. [holds up two halves of his laptop computer, which has been hacked in two] Jane C. O'Brien: You ... you rip it to shreds and spit on it. Voice Cast: Why can't you follow our lead? [ka-ching! They're all handed sackfulls of money] Sit back and don't complain. All: Nerds are making our lives insane! Ondre Lombard: Hacks! You're blind to how your performance stinks. Haynes Lee: You make Homer look like Professor Frink. Benjamin Robinson: You haven't got the faintest idea of how the show should work. Plots and humor, characters and subtlety. Jordan Eisenberg: Someone bring back Conan!!! Evil Homer: Hacks. If I had some poison, I'd ... Matt Groening: ... watch your mouth! Ken Keeler: It's been the same tired complaints for a decade now. Futurama staff: We've moved to Futurama. Give thanks for what you have. What's the deal with that ... alt.tv.simpsons: That's the problem with ... Simpsons staff: Give a break to us. Futurama staff: Shut up about that damn show ... All: ... this yeeeeeaaaar!!! [The End]The Syndicators Can
(Sung to the tune of "The Garbageman Can" from 5F09)
[First posted: July 10th, 1999]
Who can cut your jokes out? Hack them up like so Rearrange commercial breaks regardless of the flow The syndicators? Yes, the syndicators can The syndicators can, and they do before you ever see the first-run show Who replaces couch gags? Thrives on greedy tricks? Only repeat shows made after 1996? * The syndicators? Yes, the syndicators can The back-end daytime slots Are home to quite a lot Of time-compression and re-edits They split in half the ending credits And foreigners can just forget it! Who can? Who can? Who can? Who can? The syndicators can 'Cause the network says they can They'll treat your shows ... like ... craaap!!! [* An alternate to these lines: Who replaced this couch gag With one very old? Who can fade to black before the punchline has been told?]
Last updated on November 20, 1999 by Jordan Eisenberg (firstname.lastname@example.org)