Viva Ned Flanders Written by David M. Stern Directed by Neil Afflek ============================================================================== Production code: AABF06 Original Airdate on FOX: 10-Jan-1999 Capsule revision B (9-May-1999) ============================================================================== > "TV Guide" Synopsis ============================================================================== (United States) Chastised for living so little for a man his age, Flanders asks for fun lessons from Homer, who obliges with a trip to Las Vegas and Ned's first hangover. The Moody Blues have a cameo. {bjr} (Canada) Goodie-two-shoes Ned begins to second-guess his straight and narrow path in life, prompting the Simpsons' neighborino to take a trip to Las Vegas and look to Homer for some not-so-helpful advice. The Moody Blues guest-voice. {hl} ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Blackboard: MY MOTHER IS NOT DATING JERRY SEINFELD {hl} Couch: Live-action hand spins a picture of the Simpsons, causing the ink to splatter. [Recycled from 5F06] {ddg} ============================================================================== > Did You Notice... ============================================================================== ... Flanders' doctor is Dr. Stein, rather than Dr. Hibbert or Dr. Nick? [{nd} says he might have been their chiropractor -- Ed.] Ellen Cohen: ... when Ned walked past the water glass in his house, his reflection looked like that of an old man? ... the way Homer's top head hairs were sticking up and curly after they were roasted? ... the Moody Blues not only knew Homer and Ned's names, but knew Ned was "ancient"? ... when the two waitresses cuddled up to Gunter and Ernst saying they knew how to treat women, the white tiger rolled its eyes! Ben Collins: ... how Burns' attitude towards nursing homes has changed? (he hated Springfield Retirement Castle; now he owns a chain of similar homes) ... the Simpsons sit in the front row at church, with the Flanders' behind them? ... Milhouse is sitting only with his mother at church? ... the ever-practical Ned Flanders still has his Geo (from 9F01)? ... Lisa is still as strongly against gambling as she was at the end of 8F13? (notice her "power of attorney" protest) ... Lance Murdock seems to have recovered from cirrhosis of the liver, liver, liver? ... Homer puts doughnuts on his "wife's" omelet? S. Everett Davies: ... Sideshow Mel goes to church without a shirt on? Don Del Grande: ... Ned was 50 when Todd was born? ... one of the signs in Vegas says "Loosest Craps In Town"? (Don't go to the buffet at that casino! Of course, this refers to "loosest slots in town", which refers to the setting of slot machines so they pay back a larger percentage of what they take in, based on probability.) ... all of the slot machines are left-handed? Yuri Dieujuste: ... CBG's license plates are NCC-1701? ... Grandpa or Jasper own a convertible? [{ddg} suggest that someone at the Retirement Castle may have just loaned them one.] ... Homer did not take an Interstate Highway to Las Vegas? ... OFF's car is still in town when Ned and Homer are kicked out of town? Jordan Eisenberg: ... Carl's voice sounded waaay off? ... when Homer yells "Don't spill my beer," Flanders does indeed spill his beer? ... Ned has a VISA card in his wallet? (Does he consider credit cards a form of gambling?) Alex Foley: ... This is the first episode David M. Stern has written in nearly 6 years? ... Lucius Sweet in the mob that throws out Homer & Ned? Jeremy Gallen: ... the Holy Water burns Moe's face, so obviously he's a Satanist? ... Homer barbecues meat from the top of his roof? ... both "s's" of "Las Vegas" are spelled with dollar signs? ... we never get to see how Marge and the kids are doing while Ned and Homer are in Las Vegas? Andrew Gill: ... Bart reads a misplaced Radioactive Man at the car wash? ... the decimals on the car wash register don't move? Joe Green: ... the wall sustains more damage than Lance Murdock's head? Tony Hill: ... 16 children and a dog in Cletus's truck? ... Homer and Ned in a heart-shaped tub? ... the electronic menu is headed "MENV"? ... the waitrons Homer and Ned "marry" are the same ones who serve them? Darrel Jones: ... this is the first [non-Halloween] episode not to use Groening font during the closing credits? Joe Klemm: ... the Kang bumper sticker on CBG's car? ... the slave girls' menus are push-button activated? Haynes Lee: ... the vultures look similar to the one at the tribunal in "Bart The Mother"? ... Homer's "wife" was the one who smoked? Ondre Lombard: ... a couch scene twice used last year is used again this season? ... Marge speaks of the birthday cake as if she did it? (A surprising character flaw in Marge, more fitting for Homer.) ... this is the first time we've seen Captain Lance Murdock since "Selma's Choice?" ... Ned orders the most commonly ordered drink among women? Nate Patrin: ... the "Mr. Burns' Casino" sign- or at least the Burns-as-Mermaid part- was still almost completely intact in the rubble as Homer and Ned drive through it? ... the "minister" at the chapel looks like (and, for all I know, might be) the guy that wound up marrying Homer to Marge? Tom Rinschler: ... the drawstring on Homer's shorts while on the roof remain white while the area around it is soot covered? ... Homer and Ned's booth at the casino restaurant is shaped like a chariot? ... The I (heart) L V hat on the golf cart in the trashed hotel room? Benjamin Robinson: ... Bart was sleeping in church when Homer made his announcement? ... the motor noises on Ned's Geo are higher-pitched (compared to previous shows), as you might expect from a Geo? Matt Rose: ... the comic store guy drives a Gremlin? Mike Smith: ... it's the first time an Elvis recording is heard on a Simpsons episode? ============================================================================== > Voice Credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Sideshow Mel, Abe Simpson, Lance Murdock) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Cletus, Comic book Guy, Spanish Car Wash Attendant, Car Wash Cashier, Carl, Moe, Dreaderick Tatum) - Harry Shearer (Kent Brockman, Waylon Smithers, Mr. Burns, Demolition man #1, Demolition man #2, Lenny, Ned Flanders, Rev. Lovejoy, Dr. Gonzo [?], Hunter Thompson [?], Suicycle announcer, Croupier, Security Man, Chapel Reverend [?], Gil [?]) - Special Guest Voice - The Moody Blues (Individually listed below) - Graeme Edge (himself) - Justin Hayward (himself) - John Lodge (himself) - Ray Thomas (himself) - Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel) - Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Ginger, Joan Rivers [?]) - Tress MacNeille (Amber, Carjacker) - Maggie Roswell (Maude Flanders) - Karl Weidergott (Don Rickles) ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== + "Viva Las Vegas" - title an obvious spoof - song itself used in end credits + Jerry Sienfeld's affair {jk} - the blackboard gag refers to this [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] ~ "The Late Show 5th Anniversary" {af2} - David Letterman had an on-going joke that his mom was, in fact, in love with Seinfeld + the recent implosion of landmark Vegas hotels {hl} - demolition of old Burns' casino reminiscent - "Dante's Peak" {mn} - smoke pouring over the town from the 'implosion' of the old casino is very similar to scenes from the movie "Dante's Peak" with the townspeople running from the volcanic ash - the Mt. St. Helens eruption {hl} - the Simpsons escape the implosion by racing away from the dust cloud. After the eruption, someone in real life actually escaped by driving the car just ahead of the explosion + "Star Trek" - Comic Book Guy's license plate is "NCC 1701", which is the registration number of the Star Ship Enterprise - bumper sticker: I brake for tribbles {hl} - bumper sticker: Kang is my co-pilot {hl} + "Star Wars" - CBG's car sports a "My other car is the Millenium Falcon" bumper sticker - in overhead shot of casino floor, carpet pattern resembles symbol of galactic empire + "X Files" {ddg} - one of CBG's bumper stickers reads, "The Truth is in Here" + Loggins & Messina and Hall & Oates {jr2} - sort of a bastardized combination of "Loggins and Messina" and "Hall and Oates" (Still, better than Messina and Oates.) + "I Know What You Did Last Summer" - Rev. Lovejoy spoofs this movie title in his sermon + "Pogo" {dga} - Churchy LaFemme is the name of a character in this comic strip [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] - the boy in the bubble {ag} - Lenny mentions him + "Insane in the Membrane" {ec} - probably without realizing it, Ned parodies the title of the song by former "Simpsons" guest Cypress Hill - "Rockford Files" {hl} - Rocky always stated his fee was $200 plus expenses. + "The Game" - Homer's borrows the basic plot of the movie - also, he refers to himself as "Homer Simpson, Inc." -- a la the film's "Recreational Services Inc." (or whatever the hell that company was called) {np} + "Highway Star" by Deep Purple {np} - Homer sings a bastardized version of it, replacing the word "car" with "Ned" + "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" - two hallucinatory guys that drive by in the Cadillac reference the movie (and probably the book, as well) - Homer was Ned's lawyer, as one guy was the other's lawyer in the book {jm} - [Thor Cromer says the two figures in the Caddy are based on illustrations for the book -- Ed.] - "Vega$" {jg} - the "s" of "Vegas" spelled with the dollar sign + "Stalag 17" {ad} - Otto Preminger utters "escape is impossible" as an SS commandant to a group of American POWs, muck like Homer says to Flanders + the Dunes casino {tld} - Dupes casino a spoof + the "Stardust" casino {dc} - Golddigger's casino sign looks similar + Cirque du Soleil {bjr} - name of Montreal circus troupe inspired "Cirque du Buffet" + New York, New York {th} - not the city, but the hotel-casino complex is parodied in "Newark, Newark" + the Riviera casino {th} - Rivera's spoofs this casino + "Oklahoma" {th} - Rivera's Okla-Homo was a slam on Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein's musical comedy + Binion's Horseshoe casino {th} - Snowshoe parodies this casino name + Dunes casino {th} - another casino name spoof, this time of Dunes (imploded 1994) + the Sands casino {th} - another famous Las Vegas hotel, spoofed in "Quicksands" + "Nights in White Satin" {bjr} - this Moody Blues song may have inspired their tribute band, The Satin Knights - the Sahara casino {tld} - Safari casino a possible spoof + Caesar's Palace casino - Nero's Palace casino - Closing credits done on Caesar's Palace marquee {ah} - Evel Kneivel's Fountain Jump {tld} - Lance Murdock's jump and wipeout at Nero's Palace [{jk} mentions son Robbie Kneivel also attempted this jump, successfully -- Ed.] ~ Nero's actual palace {ag} - the wild bacchanalians (the room after Ned & Homer wake up) + "Romeo and Juliet" {tr} - one of the cocktail waitresses calls Homer "Homeo" - "Laugh-In" {jk} - Homer says, "Sock it to me" - "Casino" {np} - one of the waitresses is named "Ginger", like Ace Rothstein's hooker wife + Alka-Seltzer ad campaign {jk} - the cadence of Homer's imagined "chop, chop, dig, dig" similar to "plop, plop, fizz, fizz" from this series of commercials ~ "Animal House" {jr} - Homer at the Breakfast Bar + "Maude" - again probably without realizing it, Ned parodies "And Then There's Maude" theme song - [{th} adds that it "was written by Marilyn and Alan Bergman and Dave Grusin" -- Ed.] + "Logan's Run" {hl} - the notice over the intercom about "runners" + "Nights In White Satin" (1967 Moody Blues hit) {ms} - poem at the end of the song is recited before the attack - "South Park" {ol} - similarities between Ned being "gang probed" and episode "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe," where Cartman gets an anal probe by aliens ~ "Mars Attacks" {ec} - Homer talks about blowing up the heads of aliens and saving America, which is how the movie ended ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - Flanders Episodes {hl} - [7F23] Opens the Leftorium - [1F14] Homer becomes his buddy - [2F19] Principal of Springfield Elementary - [4F07] Goes nuts after home wrecked by hurricane - Las Vegas references {je} - [8F10] Homer and Marge get married in Vegas - [9F05] Smithers meets up with Tom Jones in Vegas, attempting to bribe him - [1F08] Mr. Burns builds a Vegas-like casino; Vegas-style music is played over the credits - [1F14] The First Church of Springfield has the "loosest bingo cards in town" - [2F14] Homer calls Vegas to make a bet - [2F21] Moe pretends to mistake OFF's house for Las Vegas - [2F31] A writer for Mr. Burns' movie: Richard X. Vegas - [3F04] The Duff cowboy is similar to the Las Vegas cowboy in the Miller Genuine Draft ads., which comes to life and goes off with a cowgirl sign - [3F07] A videogame at the Try-N-Save, "Canasta Master," is a parody of the movie "Vegas Kid" - [3F12] Krusty used to fly to Vegas with Dean Martin in his I'm-on-a- rolla-Gay plane - [3F17] Homer thinks Branson, Missouri is like Vegas -- if it were run by Ned Flanders - [4F03] Odds are being given in Vegas on Homer's fight against Drederick Tatum - [4F10] Homer thinks Mr. Burns is trying to hypnotize him, but not in the good Las Vegas way - [AABF06] Homer and Ned paint the town red in Vegas - Homer's drunk talk {je} - [7F20] At the dinner party - [8F16] Love letter to Marge - [9F06] Comparing women to beer - [3G01] Being interviewed by the FBI - [5F07] At Moe's - [AABF06] Getting married - Previous Gil appearances {je} - [5F06] Works in Marge's realtor office - [5F10] *Might* have been the shoe salesman (I'm still not sure!) - [5F14] In line after Homer for an IRS Audit - [5F18] Tries to sell a car to a naked Homer and Marge; they steal his balloon - [AABF03] Sells Springfield Elementary their first computer - [AABF05] In the bodyguard training class - [AABF06] Loses his company payroll in a Vegas roulette game - [7G10] The generic "car fulla' babes" passes by {je} - [7G11] Homer forgets Marge's birthday {je} - [7F06] Lance Murdock seen {th} - [7F20], [8F21], [9F02] Homer seemingly hinting towards something sexual, but in actuality means something entirely different - [8F10] Homer and Marge have quickie wedding in Vegas chapel {hl} - [8F12] Someone incorrectly cites the bible on the subject of gambling {je} - [8F14] Homer: "I can change!" {ol} - [8F15] The dog gets blamed for eating "people food" {je} - [8F16] Bees stinging Homer while he's lying on a hammock {ol} - [8F17] More birthdays forgotten {je} - [8F24] Homer talks about comb-overs {je} - [9F05], [1F08], [5F04] Gunter & Ernst {th} {je} - [9F11] Last appearance of Lance Murdock {dj} - [9F14] Last episode David M. Stern wrote back in February of 1993 {af} - [1F04] Someone owns a Gremlin {mr} - [1F04] Eating whole cakes by oneself {ol} - [1F08] Someone mistakes the tiger for another animal {je} - [1F08] Burns' casino seen - [1F14] Someone thinks an inanimate object is God {je} - [1F14] The Flanders' Geo makes an appearance {mr} - [1F15] Homer "I'll think you'll find escape quite impossible" was said by Marge {af} - [1F17] Oates (of Loggins and Oates "fame") mentioned {th} - [2F14] Homer tries to bet on roulette {th} - [2F31] "Seinfeld" reference {ms} - [3F08] Alien shown with probe {ah} - [3F14] Lance Murdock mentioned {nd} - [3F17] Bart describes Branson, Missouri as a Flandersized Vegas {hl} - [3F21] "Insane in the Membrane" mentioned/played {ol} - [3F21] Homer assists a circus stunt {th} - [3F21] Homer is fond of suspenders {je} - [3F31] Burns' Casino outtake from [1F08] {ms} - [4F03] Dreaderick Tatum {th} - [4F05] Journey's "Anyway You Want It" is played {ms} - [4F06] "Anyway You Want It" is played {dj} - [4F08] Cletus' many children appear {af} - [5F05] Bart's crowbars {je} - [5F08] Showing animal feces on Simpsons {ol} - [5F09] Springfield is moved, lock, stock and barrel - [5F15] Dog doo on a stick {je} - [5F18] Blackboard Gag reference to "Seinfeld" {ms} - [AABF01] "I Know What You Did Last Summer" referenced {je} ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - The bumper stickers on CBG's car {bjr} My Other Car Is A Millenium Falcon THE TRUTH +--------+ I BRAKE IS IN HERE |NCC 1701| FOR TRIBBLES +--------+ My Child Is An KANG IS MY KEEP HONKING Honor Student At CO-PILOT I'M CHARGING Starfleet Academy MY PHASER [Note that the "NCC 1701" is actually CBG's vanity plate] - The church sign {bjr} TODAY'S TOPIC: HE KNOWS WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER - The bright lights of Las Vegas, Part I {ag} D U P E S [long neck] N u d e s on B r e a k L U C K Y BINGO Lucky Casino - The bright lights of Las Vegas, Part II {bjr} Nero's Golddigger's Palace CASINO ------------ Lucky Cirque Casino du Buffet ------------ LOOSEST CRAPS IN TOWN NEWARK NEWARK ------- RIVERA'S Presents -------- Legends PRESENTS of Clevage O K L A - ------- H O M O ! TURNPIKE LOUNGE RIP TAYLOR NEGRON S GAMBLING Quicksands N ------------- O THE W SATIN KNIGHTS S ARCTIC CIRCLE SHOWROOM SING H PRESENTS THE MOODY O K L O N - BLUES E D Y K E S ! ------------- OPENING ACT THE MOODY BLUES - The Bright Lights of Vegas, Part III {je} Specifically, signs reflected in Homer's car window SLOTS / KENO - 27 / SLOTS KENO - CARDS - SLOTS - KENO - Daredevil exhibition {bjr} LANCE MURDOCK'S SuiCycle - In Homer and Ned's room {ag} - various places: White robe (on a stool), box of half-eaten pizza, box of Chinese (or a square pizza), sunglasses, two sets of golf clubs, trophy, cigarettes, chips, alcohol, and cards. - on stairs: card pillow, Weber grill, sundial, green-glowing TV, 3 watermelons, pants. - on throw-rug: trophy, oil drum, package(?), bowling ball. - on bed: black-blue-black shield, Stanley Cup, pink sign ("Flaming..."), bed vibrator(or was that the TV?), heart-shaped pillows. - on Rolls-Royce: flag, I [heart] LV 20-gallon hat, serving dish (on the roof). - pictures of the Acropolis and the Pantheon (N.B. I think that the Pantheon is actually larger than what is seen there, which is more like the size of the Jefferson monument), and a building that I can't identify (perhaps the Forum). - Label on the wedding videotape {bjr} SIMPSON -- FLANDERS IMPULSE WEDDING ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity, and other goofs ============================================================================== + Lisa says she never heard of Loggins & Oates, but in her fantasy in "Lisa's Rival," she was on stage with John Oates (and Loggins' erstwhile partner, Jim Messina). {th} + Moe goes to the same church OFF does (as well as almost everybody else in Springfield), even though he once stated, "I was born a snake handler, and I'll die a snake handler!" {tpe} * Presuming that the Quimbys are Catholic (their inspiration the Kennedys are known for their devout Catholicism), what is Freddy Quimby doing in a non- Catholic church? {bc} + Ned has consumed alcohol before- he was actually in an AA meeting during "Duffless", recalling the time he was so wasted he called Ann Landers a "boring old biddy." {np} + Ned's parents are beatniks (see "Hurricane Neddy (4F07)"). The beat movement started in the Fifties, so that would put Ned in his late forties or early fifties today. = When Ned walked behind a glass of water, the image of him through the glass should have crossed in the other direction. {ddg} = Homer was originally standing right up against the chimney, but when he and Ned stepped away from it, there was a big pile of bloody meat there. Was he straddling it or what? {ec} + Ned seems to act as though he's never really hung out with Homer before- but "Homer Loves Flanders" pretty much proves otherwise. {np} = When Ned meets Joan Rivers, the buildings across the street change. {je} + Lance Murdock's voice sounds different than it did in "Bart the Daredevil". {ss} * The number 14 on a roulette wheel is red. There was no green visible on either the table or board here (I was looking to see if it was a North American double-zero wheel or a European single-zero). {th} * The croupier would never slide the winning bet across the table; it would be left on the winning number (and usually bet again on the next spin). {th} * Deuteronomy 7 makes no reference to gambling. {jc} + Doesn't Ned have a Ph.D. in mixology? Then shouldn't he know what most drinks taste like? {ag} - I don't think there's a hotel window in Vegas where one can get such good views of both the Stratosphere Tower and the Luxor. {th} - The "Flamingo" sign behind Homer and Ned in the hotel room disappears between shots. {bc} = Ned's sweater didn't appear wet after he got out of the hot tub. {pt} + Homer has never worn suspenders before, but he has worn a belt (for example, on [7F18] and [2F31]). {dj} + If Homer lost all of Ned's money at the craps table, how did "the new Mrs. Flanders" get a ring? {ddg} * It was a funny joke that the slots players were oblivious to the disruption taking place above them, but real slots would "tilt" if they were disturbed to that degree (which I doubt would even be possible). {th} + Ned and Homer are forced to walk home- but what happened to Homer's car? (Maybe he'll get a letter from the Vegas DMV a few months later...) {np} c When Ned says, "the letter X," the captioning reads "finger foods." {ag} ============================================================================== > Reviews ============================================================================== Dale G. Abersold: Blah blah funny second and third acts blah blah why so Homercentric? blah blah yet another zany premise blah blah stupid previous episode references blah blah whatever happened to Bart and Lisa blah blah I need a drink and a shower blah blah (C) Rich Bunnell: The episodes are getting wackier and wackier, but that honestly doesn't bother me as much as it seems to get up the butts of several a.t.s. denizens. The only problem I had with this episode was the fact that Ned was revealed to be 60 -- what was with that? This "destroy a character for the purpose of one episode" crud (you know what episode I'm referring to) is -really- getting annoying. However, the jokes were pretty well done (the "God" speaker in the casino in particular), and the Moody Blues cameo at the end, while "tacked-on" (I don't really care anyway) was pretty darn funny. (B) Ben Collins: I know this is ANOTHER episode involving a mid-life crisis (thank God it's not Homer's this time), but this time they do it right. Although I'm bothered a little by some of Homer's overboard antics and the serious liberties with reality and common sense, that doesn't distract from the righteous hilarity throughout the episode. Many ROFL moments (the casino explosion, Homer's "two wives" fantasy, the numerous jabs at the institution of gambling), and the Moody Blues' appearance kept me thoroughly enjoying myself tonight. They need to spend the rest of the season digs up old writers. (B+) Nathan DeHoff: This one contained a lot of laughs. True, many of them were closer to typical cartoon goofiness than brilliant social satire, but they were still amusing. Homer and Ned were both in good form. Some of the best bits were Ned's conversation with "God," Homer revealing that the waffle bar was closed, and the excuse fabricated by Homer at the end of the episode. The previous episode references sometimes seemed gratuitous, but it was nice to see Lance Murdock again, and to discover the fate of Mr. Burns' Casino. The plot probably could have used a stronger resolution, though. Overall, I thought it was a pretty good episode. (B) Jeff Dean: Did I say I liked it when the Simpsons did outrageous stories? I take it back. While "Viva Ned Flanders" was occasionally funny, it was also mindblowingly stupid, particularly in the entire third act. The first scene, with some nice self-refs, really stood out, but the rest of the episode just didn't do much for me at all. I remember when episodes had a certain something that made worth watching again and again... it was called a plot. (C) Don Del Grande: The episode had a few surprises (I thought for sure that the weddings would turn out to be fake), but it didn't really go anywhere, especially at the end (B) Yuri Dieujuste: This episode was pretty decent. I expected the episode to the toward the mediocre range. Good writing, good jokes made this episode good. I also like the fact that they remembered Burns' casino and the fact that the town had moved. But this episode has made think about the animation. The character's faces have moved from a glossy yellow (in Season 6 - 7) to a dark yellow. But then I felt that the casino was well drawn. (A) Jordan Eisenberg: What is it about the even-numbered episodes this season? First off, Homer was the only Simpson to be shown throughout the second and third acts (barring a quick dream sequence). Second, I only laughed out loud twice: at the conversation about Burns' casino, then when Homer and Ned failed to injure the utility workers. Third, IMO, the animation looked like a slightly more polished and complex version of South Park. It really seems like Film Roman is animating in its sleep. OTOH, I thought the chase scene at the end was entertaining. Hopefully, next week we'll get the first episode that DOESN'T involve Homer in some way. As for Matt Groening, I don't know how to explain his pride in this one. It just wasn't very good. (D+) Alex Fandonwittsy: If any of you have common wit, you'd know how terrible this was. Homer was as obnoxious and cruel as ever. Another lame ending to a very lame ep. And, guess what? Those who doubted that they couldn't ruin Ned's character anymore more were VERY wrong. I am stunned that some people are actually giving this an A+ !!! I give it the complete opposite, and here it is, a failing grade [almost -- Ed.] to the worst episode of the season: (D-) Alex Foley: Funniest episode of the year (Okay, the year's only 11 days old...)! Homer and Ned were in rare form, lending itself to many great moments (Ned's talk to "God", Homer's fantasy about having 2 wives, Homer & Ned Vs. the Janitors...). My only complaint would be the lack of the rest of OFF, who each only had a few token lines. Oh yes, welcome back David M. Stern. (A) Jeremy Gallen: This was an excellent episode. Ned trying to act like Homer had me ROTFLMAO. It was also funny when Homer and Ned wound up married to the cocktail waitresses. IMHO, this episode deserves my highest rating, an (A+) Andrew Gill: OK. I'll let the cat out of the bag. I was hoping that it would be a scam. But although it wasn't, I still thought that Matt Groening was right when he said, "It'll rock your world." (Oh, wait...) Aside from the half-decent last act, I felt that this was a very good episode. Homer's a loveable idiot, and Ned's a goody-man who has genuine emotions. It still had a few problems with plot (or rather, ending) and zaniness (like the slot-machine race), but it was a good enough episode to make me say: (A-) Joe Green: The revelation about Ned's age was a bit farfetched, but this was still one of the better Season 10 efforts. Highlights included Ned freaking out at being "overstimulated" and Homer and Ned being hunted down for ditching their "wives". (B+) Tony Hill: This was a simply outrageous episode! It was reminiscent of the fabulously hilarious episodes of classic Simpsons. Some of the best material came from the signs and ancillary gags. I know I haven't given OFF extremely good grades this season, but this one is totally deserving of a an A+! (A) Darrel Jones: Another great Season Ten ep! I especially loved Act Three's wackiness (the utility closet fight, Homer's determination to stay married to his cocktail waitress wife, many Vegas spoofs). The only problem was a slapdash ending that didn't make much sense. Still, great episode. (A) Joe Klemm: To start off the New Year, the show kicks off with another one of Homer's silly adventures. The writers did a clever job with the jokes. However, I don't think Ned is even a senior citizen. (B+) Haynes Lee: At least this episode didn't ruin Flanders. The old age discontinuity did not help thing very much. The Moody Blues guest appearance was even more tacked on then U2's. (B) Tom Rinschler: After an outrageously funny and self-referencing first act, the story slowed somewhat when Homer and Ned left for Las Vegas. I was ROFL several times during the first act, and loved how they wrapped up the old storyline of Burns' casino (and how many among you said that the moving of the town would never be referred to again?). The parts in Las Vegas, however, while often humorous, did not keep up the same pace as the earlier section. It was good to see some non-hostile interaction between Homer and Ned too. (B+) Jason Rosenbaum: After some of the most forgettable crap in the history of the Simpsons, Viva Ned Flanders comes along. Lots of great gags (Nero's Palace, The Fear And Loathing gag, Flanders being 60) and lots of great earlier episode references. The ending was pretty damn weird, it could have been better. This is what Season 10 will be remembered for. (A) Yours Truly: Another in a series of episodes that take age-old sitcom plots, and put a uniquely "Simpsons" spin on them. This episode does a good job of it, too, despite hewing closely to the traditional "bad trip to Vegas" plot. Ned makes an interesting run at breaking out of a rut, and Homer gets to expand on his life philosophy. Some of the supporting characterization is a little flat, and the family by necessity gets the short shrift. I can overlook that, though, and pronounce that 1999 is off to a good start in the "Simpsons" universe. (B+) AVERAGE GRADE: B (3.10) Std Dev.: 0.9659 (34 reviews computed) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> Writer Watch Dale Ab, er, I mean Jordan Eisenberg writes: David M. Stern is one of the veteran writers for the series, having written such classics as "Bart Gets an "F" (7F03)," "Principal Charming (7F15)," "Homer Alone (8F14)," "Kamp Krusty (8F24)," "Selma's Choice (9F11)" and "Duffless (9F14)." If you're one of those who notices the differences between these episodes and last night's, your guess is as good as mine. >> It's the affair about nothing Benjamin Robinson: Jerry Seinfeld, as if I needed to point it out to you, is a noted comedian with a checkered dating history. His first paramour (that the press cared about) was Soshona Kohler, who was in high school when they first met. Seinfeld and Kohler eventually drifted apart, and then he was romantically linked to -- what was her name? Ah, who cares? It definitely wasn't Bart's mom, though. What I can say is that she is a married society woman, which has set tongues a-wagging. >> Meta-Reference corner Benjamin Robinson: Lisa notes that Burns' casino caught the town's fancy for a week, and then "everyone just forgot about it." This is funny when you remember that most sitcoms only remember back for about a week. >> It's a boom town -- literally! Tourism in Vegas has been growing by leaps and bounds recently, thanks to marketing efforts to position the city as a destination for families, instead of just adults looking to try their gambling luck. To accommodate all the new businesses, many old hotels have been demolished to make room for -- new, bigger hotels. (At least one of the new super-hotels is seen: The Luxor, which is the pyramid-shaped building with the powerful searchlight at the top.) In the quest for space, developers have even dynamited casinos on the Strip, like the Dunes, which have "defined" the city for years. >> Not dealing with a full deck Tony Hill explains some of the finer points of Vegas gambling: A device known as the shoe was introduced in blackjack in the middle of this century to prevent bottom-dealing, which Burns alleged was happening at his casino, as well as second-card dealing, which was much more common. (But perhaps such regulations were never implemented in the state that Springfield is in.) The scatological joke "loosest craps in town" is a play on the phrase "loosest slots," which means the machines are set to pay a high percentage. It wouldn't really apply to Craps since the rules are much the same all over and don't make much difference in the payout anyway. >> That'll teach 'em to turn us down Benjamin Robinson relates: Don Rickles is an insult comic who regularly travels the casino circuit. More interestingly, he is one of the few people to turn the producers of "The Simpsons" down when they approached him about a guest role. Perhaps the producers were finally getting revenge when they had Rickles blown up and run over in tonight's show. >> Ancient Ned The big issue in the discussions for this episode was Ned's claim that he was 60 years old. The church had a hard time believing this, and so did the audience. Matt Rose sums up the problem: I have a *big* problem with Ned's age being 60. It's just not possible....if his parents are beatniks, that would pretty much make Ned a pre-adolescent in the late 50's. If he was 60 now, it would have made him 18 in 1957. I assume Ned to be about 11 or 12 in that scene from another episode when he spills ink all over his Dad's poems. (Oh man! You're sending us back to squaresville, man! A real flat tire! A cube man!) [Ondre Lombard pegs his age as between 6 and 8 in the flashbacks -- Ed.] Okay, now that we have a figure for Ned's age, is there any way to explain it? (Other than, "Someone goofed," which isn't any fun.) Several theories were proposed, starting with Tom Rinschler) Tom Rinschler: If Ned is now 60, he was born in 1938 or 1939. We see a you (around 10 years old) Ned in "Hurricane Neddy". There his parents were portrayed as beatniks. As this group is identified with the 1950s, Ned's parents were probably ahead of the curve, becoming beatniks at the start of the trend, around 1949-50 or so. Todd Emerson: The flashbacks in "Hurricane Neddy" were supposed to have happened only 30 years (or so) previously, which would in fact make his parent's far BEHIND the times. Which would explain how they would eventually end up raising such a square as Ned. Andrew Gill: He provided no proof [of his age]. I'll just assume that he was younger, and lying to cover. Ellen Cohen embellishes Mr. Gill's theory: maybe Ned lied about his age to the community to get out of trouble for stealing Grandma Flanders' senior discount card! Where IS Grandma Flanders anyway? Don't you wonder about that? Maybe Ned figured the only way to protect his saintly reputation was to tell a little white lie. It doesn't hurt anyone to know his real age...at least not in Springfield. No one seemed to be adversely affected by it, except the people of a.t.s. And considering he's exactly the same person...why not let it drop like the Armin Tamzarian business? Someone known only as "Ghoull": Ned's parents may not have told him his real age. They were, after all, clove-smoking, freaky beatniks, who, in their mad opposition to civilization and decency, may not have believed in the numerical system that we know and love. Ned, as a kid, asks his parents how old he is, and they, in a fit of hemp-induced madness reply, "Uh, 15? 16? Mona, help me out here." "Groovy, hep cat." Lee Johnson: I felt as though they were deliberately tweaking the noses of us "magic xylophone" fans on the internet in advance as they knew the upcoming revelation about Ned would disturb those who care about character continuity. Harry Markins: Ned, whose memory appears to be screwed up, was mis- remembering his childhood. That's as good as anything else; in fiction (which this is), you can make up anything to explain "continuity gaps." But, as I say, this is purely, totally, utterly trivial. Ted J. Mill: Flanders is such a straight-arrow that he skipped being a teenager and early-20's, all that puberty and rebellion and uncertainty and so on. Being born in 1950, but jumping directly from 13 to 25, makes him 60 today (and he has a senior citizen ID from Harvard Medical School, explaining all this in really tiny print). Andrew Chang: Perhaps Homer isn't the only non-Brazilian to use a time machine? Jordan Eisenberg reprinted this article which ran in the January 12 "Star- Ledger": A Jan. 12 All TV item about last week's "The Simpsons" asked how Ned Flanders could be 60 years old when a previous episode established that he was raised by beatniks, presumably in the late '50s or early '60s. Continuity error, right? Maybe not, writes Steve Hirsch of Basking Ridge. "Of course Ned is 60 and he was born in the '50s. You see, the Simpsons have eight fingers, so they use base 8, instead of base 10. Sixty in base eight is equal to 48 base 10. So much for continuity problems!" Mr. Eisenberg adds: Good thinking, but if their universe really was rooted in base 8, there would only be 8 years in a decade, and 48 years before 1999 would be 1939 (never mind the fact that neither year would actually exist!). It's still the most creative solution I've heard. And finally, Jeff Dean leaves us with this thought: But look at it this way: he's still younger than any of the Rolling Stones by far! ;-) >> The truth about beatniks and hippies While debating Ned's age, people at times called his parents beatniks and hippies. This in turn led to another debate over the differences between the two groups. John Daniel wrote this detailed field guide to spotting Beats. Beatniks in a way laid the groundwork for the hippies. The beatniks were a subculture that grew out of the societal strictures of the Eisenhower era. This subculture manifested itself first in literature, with a group of writers known as the Beat Generation. Key figures of the Beat Generation, or "Beats", were novelist Jack Kerouac, poet Allen Ginsburg, writer/junkie William S. Burroughs, poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti, [and] poet Gary Snyder. Works by any of these writers during the period 1950-60 should give you a good impression of what that era was about. I particularly recommend Kerouac's "The Subterraneans" and Ferlinghetti's "A Coney Island of the Mind." Of course, like many artistic/creative movements, innovation eventually turns to imitation as the movement becomes mainstream, eventually turning into self-parody. This is where the stereotypical beatnik, with his bongos and beret and black clothes, comes in. See Maynard G. Krebs from the old TV show "Dobie Gillis". Lisa Simpson's poem (the one she writes after Bart tosses her "Women in American History" table centerpiece into the fireplace) is a direct parody of Ginsberg's "Howl", which became the centerpiece of an obscenity trial and landmark First-Amendment case, and perhaps the single most recognizable work of the Beats "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness; starving, hysterical, naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn, looking for an angry fix" (That's from memory, no flames please) A few differences between hippies and beatniks: Where the hippies made mind expansion through drug use a centerpiece of their mantra (tune in, turn on, drop out), the beatniks were more about dropping out than turning on (though they were no strangers to drug use). Themes of constant travel, freedom, wandering are important in the beatnik ideology: see John Clellan Holmes' "Go", Kerouac's "On the Road", and Ginsberg's "The Blue Automobile". Both hippies and beatniks were very into music; for the hippies it was psychedelic rock, for the beatniks it was jazz (Charlie Parker, early Miles Davis) and spoken-word poetry. Where the hippies' principal enemy was the war (as well as The Man), the beatniks were in rebellion against "square" society and the homogenization of American culture. This is where Ned Flanders comes in. This is not to say that there were not many strong links between the two subcultures, and that one developed from the other. For example, Neal Cassady (a.k.a. Dean Moriarty), the hero of On The Road, cropped up in the late '60's as one of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters, and driver of the Further bus. Allen Ginsberg got spiritual, and got naked at numerous be- in's. A large number of the later beats simply traded their black turtlenecks for tie-dyes and kept on truckin'. Jack Kerouac, unable to cope with his sudden leader-of-a-movement demigod status (Kurt Cobain is an imprecise but still useful analogue) drank himself to death in the late 60's. I'm sure this is much more information than you wanted. Sorry for rambling. But at least now you can sleep through the first 3 weeks of Postwar American Literature. [Disclaimer: The Simpsons Archive does not recommend that you sleep through the first 3 weeks of Postwar American Literature -- Ed.] Mylene Smith provides a quick-reference chart to keep you from confusing the two cultures: Beatniks Clothing -- Black, turtlenecks, jackets, berets, sunglasses (indoors or outdoors). Approval -- snapped their fingers instead of clapping. Speech -- Cool Daddy-Oh Hair -- Short and neat for men and maybe a goatee. Long and straight for women, maybe with it combed in front of their face. Music -- Jazz Hippies Clothes -- Colorful, bell bottoms, granny skirts, peasant blouses, tube tops, T-shirts. Approval -- clapped if they weren't passed out or so stoned out of their gourd they had no idea what was going on. Speech -- Groovy man. Far out. Hair -- Long for both sexes. Music -- Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Black Sabbath, Uriah Heep, Cream, etc. >> We have met the enemy, and he is Ned Joe Slater: I thought it was a great reference in "Viva Ned Flanders" when Homer called Ned "Churchy LaFemme." Not to date myself or sound too much like the Comic Store Guy, but Churchy LaFemme was the name of a turtle character who was a mainstay in the old "Pogo" comic strip by Walt Kelly. [The strip was resurrected during the Nineties, but was retired again -- Ed.] The character was neither religious nor particularly effeminate (as cartoon turtles go). But these connotations work perfectly for Flanders. A very cool little bit in an OK episode, showing what the "Simpsons" can still do that no other show does. Tony Hill explores the origin of the name: "Cherchez la femme," which literally means "where is the woman," is a polite euphemism for a skirt- chaser. Homer's pun of Ned is several levels above Homer's usual mentality. Lee Johnson adds: Ironically, something Ned is about to become in this episode [is a skirt-chaser or womanizer]. >> Ned Frivolous Todd Emerson: Ned claims to have never partook of anything frivolous? Then what was up with that rec room in his basement, with the fully loaded bar? And the time he wanted to bartend at one of Marge & Homer's parties? And let's not forget his quitting the pharmaceutical biz to open his own store. Sounds like ol' Neddie can get pretty frivolous to me! Bad writers! No soup for you! >> The bland gourmet Dale G. Abersold: When I heard Ned mention that he likes plain white bread "with a glass of water on the side for dippin'," I was struck with the thought I had heard something like that before...but where? Not until today at work did it strike me. Ezra Taft Benson! Who is Ezra Taft Benson, you ask? Well, he was Secretary of Agriculture during all eight years of the Eisenhower presidency, but he is probably better known as the leader of the Mormon Church from 1985 to 1994 (when he died). [Coincidentally, he was a second cousin of mine. Also, he attended Utah State University, which is mine and [fellow a.t.s.'er] Solon Boomer- Jenks' alma mater.] Anyway, the reason I bring him up is, whenever he was asked what his favorite food or indulgence was, he responded "a bowl of bread and milk." What most of us would dismiss as the blandest of meals, he regarded as ambrosia. Weird. Like Ned Flanders, Ezra's resisting of all the major urges didn't hurt him in the aging department: he lived 95 years. Yes, I know this post was pointless. Mea culpa. [Oh, I don't know. It did get you in the episode capsule -- Ed.] >> Open the Bubble doors, HAL... Andrew Gill: Bubble children, as they are (euphemistically/discriminatingly) called, are children who have various immune deficiencies, which prohibit them from coming in contact with any pathogens. The most famous bubble boy way David (I think that was his name), who also had a little excursion suit. >> Night of a quarter-dozen stars Benjamin Robinson: In addition to [Don Rickles], we saw references to Joan Rivers: Former stand-up comic and talk show host who approaches Ned and Homer in the car. Her allegedly untalented daughter is Melissa Rivers. [See next item for more -- Ed.] Rip Taylor: Actor, I think, who has a long-running act on the Vegas scene. Taylor Negron: Actor and stand-up comic, although I saw his act on TV and can't imagine why. >> The Talentless Miss Rivers Jeff Cross: Joan Rivers' daughter Melissa is basically little more than a Hollywood poseur leeching off the fame of her mother; Joan herself hasn't had any real work since her talk show was canned. Both women have found work, however, on the cable channel E! doing "fashion review shows": this is where they sit around for an hour with assorted "fashion experts" like Leon Hall and comment on which celebrities they felt dressed well or badly, all the while making it sound like a person's self-worth is in the size of their personal wardrobe budget. >> Well, he was _A_ Caesar... Tom Rinschler gives us the life and times of Rome's very own Nero: Nero's Palace is of course modeled after the famous Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. Instead of bearing the name of the Julius Caesar, the famous Roman general and dictator (NOT emperor), it instead is named after his great-great- great-great grandnephew and distant successor Nero, the fifth Emperor of Rome. Unlike his illustrious predecessor, Nero was much less admirable (hence the humor in the switching of names). Due to the scheming of his mother, he came to the throne as a teenager, unlearned in statecraft, although he considered himself quite the artist. As a result, he grew into a tyrannical and debauched ruler, although the empire did well when he still listened to his advisors (such as the philosopher Seneca). Unfortunately, his paranoia led him to execute anyone who gained any influence over him, including his mother and Seneca. One of his few shining moments was after the great fire of Rome in AD 64, when he coordinated the relief efforts for the thousands of refugees; but then he soiled his reputation again by dispelling rumors that he had started it (a rumor which is easily proved false, as he was miles away at the time) by blaming it on the nascent Christians and other groups and having them brutally executed. Finally, in the end, in AD 69, the people of the Empire had enough and rose up in rebellion against their Emperor. Several armies marched on Rome and Nero committed suicide (botching it badly, BTW). Not enough? Andrew Gill has more: Nero was an interesting kid. He became emperor at an extremely young age and his mother, who wanted to rule all of Rome herself, used the opportunity to rule vicariously through him. She repressed his son, and refused him to practice the arts and theatre (his true love). So, Nero began to find other outlets for his energy (like wild, crapulent parties). It has been said that he lusted for his mother, but he also tried to kill her (multiple times, but she would somehow survive in a very Clouseau-esque manner). Nero was in constant fear of death (and for good reason: everyone close to him was trying to kill him). Nero's palace was unfinished by the time of his death, but it would have been the most extravagant palace in human history. The parties there were (as I said) very crapulent. Expensive wine was served, even though it had gone vinegary, elegant puddings, silver toothpicks, the whole nine yards. There's a line in the Satyricon about a boar being cut open, and live birds flying out. That's the sort of stuff that was going on. Not to mention the debauchery. No, Nero wasn't gay. He just made love with men when no women were available. (I'm serious. Nero was hereosexual.) For more info, consult your local library, or try Trimalchio's Dinner Party. It's the only part of the Satyricon that has been translated (IIRC). The rest is too sick. >> The Satin Knights, er, I mean, The Moody Blues The Moody Blues as an opening act? "Hardly," says Mike Smith: The Moody Blues are currently comprised of Justin Hayward, John Lodge, Ray Thomas & Graeme Edge. The group was formed in May, 1964, with Edge, Thomas, Michael Pinder (Who stayed with the group until 1978, after their first string of hits [Which flourished from 1968 through the Mid-1970's] have ended), Denny Laine (Who later join Paul McCartney's group, Wings) and Clint Warwick, which was the lineup that recorded their first American hit, the modestly successful "Go Now", in 1965. Laine & Warwick left the group the following year, replaced by Hayward & Lodge. It was the lineup that earned them as one of the most successful groups of the late 1960's and 1970's, starting with the album, "Days Of Future Passed", and the single from it, "Nights In White Satin", in early 1968. After Pinder left in 1978, Patrick Moraz (Who was the original keyboardist for the early 1970's-early 1980's group, Yes, before they became popular) replaced him, and stayed until 1989, where the current lineup have stayed ever since. Their most recent best seller is their 1992 "Live At Red Rock" album. Their popularity have not been faded in recent years, thanks to AOR and Classic Rock stations. Benjamin Robinson adds: Another Moody Blues trademark is the lush orchestral backgrounds many of their songs have. During their reunion tour, they even managed to recruit a symphony orchestra to go on tour with them. Jeremy Reaban adds: [The Moody Blues'] lines parody of the last two lines of the ending poem of Nights in White Satin. "Cold Hearted orb that rules the night, removes the colors from our sight, red is grey, and yellow white, but we decide which is right, and which is an illusion???" [Mr. Reaban also identifies Edge as the group's drummer, Hayward as the singer/guitarist, Lodge as the bassist, and Thomas as the flutist. Lodge and Thomas also do some of the singing -- Ed.] >> Full Faith and Flanders Andrew Gill explains why Homer and Ned aren't bigamists: At least in the real world, Ned and Homer shouldn't be married to anyone else but Maude and Marge, respectively. This is due to a little clause in the Constitution called "Full Faith and Credit." It states that any contract made in any state is valid in all 50 states (I'm not sure about places like Midway or Puerto Rico). This clause was created for cases like moving your wagon across state lines, or keeping your wife while you go to purchase fireworks. It recently received a lot of attention, due to Hawaii (I think) allowing same-sex marriages. If this were allowed in Hawaii, nothing short of a constitutional amendment could allow other states to refuse to recognize the unions. (I, on the other hand, believe that marriage should simply be a conferring of rights that anyone could receive, and that the whole concept of marriage should be eliminated from the public scene.) >> How to tell those waitresses apart For anyone who has trouble confusing the two waitresses, Jordan Eisenberg provides a handy field guide to discerning them from one another: Homer's wife Ned's wife === === Name: Amber Name: Ginger Maggie Roswell's voice Tress MacNeille's voice [*] Thinner Lighter, longer hair Darker, shorter hair Purple dress Red dress Gold, ring-shaped Red, triangle-shaped earrings earrings Thin necklace with Thick necklace with a a heart-shaped stone triangle-shaped stone Bracelet on her left Ankle bracelets arm White shoes Red shoes Red eyeshadow Blue eyeshadow Smokes Files her nails [* But see Cast section for a different take on this -- Ed.] >> Car Watch Jackpot Benjamin Robinson observes: This episode either holds the title for most Real Cars in one show, or is a strong contender for it. Here's what I saw. Comic Book Guy drives an AMC Gremlin. [Credit goes to Matt Rose for noticing this first -- Ed.] This one has the large taillights, so I suspect it's one of the later models. The posters at the car wash waiting area showed Porsche 911s, which I think is required by law in North America. Ned, of course, still has his Geo (now Chevy) Metro. Note that the motor sounds more like an authentic Geo motor than it did previously. Grampa is carjacked while driving an early-Nineties Ford Mustang GT convertible. While Homer and Ned drive to Las Vegas, they pass a 1969 Cadillac convertible going the other way. The guys try to make their escape in a 1956 (or maybe '57) Chevrolet Corvette. >> Where is Springfield Gary Wilson: It seems Springfield is *very* near Las Vegas. Granted, it's near everything, but it seems a bit of a clue...I mean, at the end, it seems as though they are going to walk home, and they did drive in one day. But, I realize it means nothing. Tony Hill elaborates: It appeared that Homer and Ned approached Vegas from the Southeast, perhaps after driving across Hoover Dam, which would suggest that Springfield is in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, or one of the states of the Deep South. It appears, however, that the mob ditched them at the California state line (there was no water) and the two kept walking farther into California. Nathan DeHoff has an interesting observation: Isn't it odd how, no matter how far from Springfield the Simpsons travel, they almost always run into someone else from the town? Okay, so there were no other Springfieldianites in Australia or outer space, but there were some at Itchy and Scratchy Land (Cletus, Frink, and Roger Meyers), the Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill (the Flanders family), and the Ogdenville Outlet Mall (Cletus and Brandine). >> Viva Elvis! Mike Smith: "Viva Las Vegas" (Made in 1964) is, in fact, what critics is calling the best of the Formula Elvis movies that rotted between 1960 (After he discharged from the Army) and 1968 (When he made his Comeback Special). The plot is pure crap for an Elvis movie, but, when Ann-Margaret is the co-star and performed together, it's GREAT!!! it's better shown in it's widescreen format! Although not credited in the movie (as does most of his movies), the title song is written by Mort Shulin & the late Doc Pomus, who wrote many of Elvis' classic songs. Although it's now called one of Elvis' greatest recordings ever, it was not a major hit when it was first released as a single (Since that song is ended up as a B-Side). >> Miscellaneous, Etc. The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this show is: Flanders Does Vegas Dale G. Abersold: I thought I'd make like Haynes Lee and come up with my own alterna-title: "Fear and Loathing of Ned Flanders" Jeremy Gallen: By the way, did anybody know that "Viva Las Vegas" is Spanish for "Live the Fertile Valleys?" Tony Hill: Since Homer frequently forgets the name (and existence) of his youngest child, how does he remember (correctly) that Hitler's birthday is April 20? Joe Klemm: If a person has a bad immunity system, then they usually end up living in plastic bubbles that protect them from germs. A good example of this is John Travolta in the 1970's made-for-TV movie. Tom Rinschler: "Any Way You Want It" is heard when Grandpa and Jasper are carjacked ============================================================================== > Quotes and Scene Summary {jo} ============================================================================== % A crowd has gathered on the street in front of the Monty Burns % casino; the local news is doing a report at the scene. Brockman: This is Kent Brockman, live at the Monty Burns casino. Moments from now, the house that Social Security checks built will be demolished to make way for a casino-themed family hotel! Burns: [watching from behind a police line, wipes away a tear] Smithers: This must be heartbreaking for you, sir. Burns: I'm just thinking of my employees. Oh, the card sharks, bottom dealers, and shills. Where will they go? Smithers: They're managing your chain of nursing homes, sir. Burns: Excellent. -- He supports career retraining, "Viva Ned Flanders" % Kent continues his report; we get a better look at the boarded up, % broken down casino. Brockman: Gone are such headliners as "Little Timmy and the Shabangs", "The Shabangs", and "The New Shabangs, Featuring Big Timmy". -- Good to see Timmy's still getting work, "Viva Ned Flanders" % The Simpsons, among the members of the crowd, have front-row spots % next to the demolition crew. Marge: Remember how excited we were when this place opened? Then a week later we just forgot about it. Lisa: I'm surprised they bothered to move it when they moved the town. Homer: Oh, I can explain that. You see ... -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Homer's explanation, however, is interrupted by the countdown. Demolitioner #1: Five, four, three, two ... Bart: All right! Here comes the implosion! Demolitioner #2: =Im=plosion? But I thought you said ... -- Close enough, "Viva Ned Flanders" % The worker presses down the detonator, resulting in an immense cloud % of dust that spreads out into the crowd. Don Rickles, apparently % having been still in the building, flies through the air, yelling % "Hockey Puck!". Homer chuckles and says, "Don Rickles zinged you, % Marge!" % % The Simpsons, part of the rapidly fleeing audience, run from the dust % cloud and jump into the car. Homer starts it and backs up blindly, % colliding with something. Lisa: Dad, we hit Don Rickles! Don: I'm okay. But the Puerto Rican guy's trying to steal your hubcaps. Ha, ha, just kidding. [singing] I'm a nice guy ... -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Driving home with a generous coat of dust on the car, Homer runs the % windshield wipers to try to brush it off, though it just comes right % back on with every re-wipe. Marge: We'd better stop and get the car washed. Homer: Eh, what's the rush. It might rain next week. Lenny: [driving alongside Homer's car] Hey, Homer. Car's kinda dirty. Homer: Really? Think I should get it washed? Lenny: Yeah, maybe. [he pulls away, and Homer pulls into a car wash] Marge: You listen to your friends, but you never listen to me. Homer: [not listening] Hey, that's great. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Homer gets out and walks into the car wash. Ahead of him in line, % Cletus talks to the children and the dog in the bed of his pickup % truck. All right, young'uns, bath time. Cover up your eyes and drop your britches. Who wants wax? -- Cletus, "Viva Ned Flanders" % The kids cheer. Elsewhere, the Comic Book Guy explains to a car wash % employee the sentimental value of his bumper decorations. Comic Book Guy: I insist you take special care with my collection of valuable and humorous bumper stickers, particularly this one, which was given to me by a Harrison Ford lookalike. Car Wash Employee:No habla Ingles, seņor. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % The CBG walks off, and the employee uses a vacuum tube to suck them % off the car. Inside the car wash, Marge looks through a bin of % cassettes. Marge: Wow, you can't find this stuff anywhere. Seals and Crofts, Pablo Cruise, Air Supply, oh, Loggins and Oates ... and it's free! Lisa: I've never heard of these bands, Mom, what kind of music do they play? Bart: Crap rock? Marge: [thinking] No ... Homer: Wuss rock? Marge: That's it! -- They're the monsters of wuss rock, "Viva Ned Flanders" % The teenager at the register rings Homer up for his wash: ten bucks. Homer: Ten dollars? What is this, a car wash for millionaires? Bart: Throw hot wax on him, Dad. Ned: [walks up] Howdy, Homer. [shows the teenager an ID card] Clerk: Five dollars, please. Homer: Hey! How did Churchy La Femme get half price? Clerk: Senior citizens' discount. Homer: Pfft. Senior citizen? Flanders? Well, we'll see about that. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % At church the next Sunday, Reverend Lovejoy preaches what he knows % best. Lovejoy: And, once again, tithing is ten percent off the top. That's gross income, not net, please people, don't force us to audit. [congregation grumbles] Now we're going to pass this around a second time. Brother Ned, you'll do the honors. Homer: I wouldn't do that, Reverend. You see, "Saint Flanders" is as crooked as you or me! [the church-goers murmur to each other] That's right. It's my sad duty to rat out this man for defrauding a car wash. How you ask? With a phony senior discount card! [the people gasp and whisper] Ned: That's not quite true. Homer: Did you, or did you not use a senior citizens' discount card at said car wash? Ned: Well, I did, but ... Homer: Now I'm not a fancy big city lawyer, [congregation gasps] but it seems to me that a senior citizen has to be over fifty- five. Isn't that so? Ned: Well, yes ... Homer: And you are how old? Ned: [sighs] I suppose if you must know, I'm ... well, I ... I'm sixty. -- What, in human years? "Viva Ned Flanders" % The congregation smiles and talk amongst themselves. Lenny: What's your secret, Flanders? Goat placenta? Monkey sweat? Carl: Some kind of an electric hat? Moe: Holy water? It's holy water, right? [he splashes some on his face] Aaah! It burns! Ned: Listen folks, there's no magic formula. I just follow the three "c"s: clean living, chewing thoroughly, and a daily dose of vitamin "church!" -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % The congregation sighs loudly in disappointment. Ned: And of course, I resist all the major urges. Mel: All of them? Marge: You mean you've never splurged and say, eaten an entire birthday cake and blamed it on the dog? Edna: You've never licked maple syrup off your lover's stomach? [Agnes glares at Skinner] Bart: [halfway out the window] You've never snuck out of church to break into cars? Ned: No, no, and double no! I haven't done any of those things, folks. You name it, I haven't done it! Homer: Geez, Flanders, you're sixty years old and you haven't lived a day in your life! Carl: Yeah, even the boy in the bubble had a deck of cards. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Again, the churchpeople talk with each other, smiling. % % After the service, the Flanders drive home together. Ned: Can you believe it? It almost seems like those folks were ... were making fun of ol' steady Neddy! Maude: Well, you may be a bit cautious. What's wrong with that? Some people like chunky peanut butter, some like smooth! Ned: Mmm-hmm, and some people just steer clear of that whole hornet's nest! I'll stick with just plain white bread, thank you very much, maybe with a ... All but Flanders: "... glass of water on the side for dippin'!" Ned: [slams on the breaks, stopping the car in the middle of the road] Gosh darn it! Am I that pre-diddly- ictable? [sighs] I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life! -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % A car filled with three attractive women, as well as Abe and Jasper, % pull up alongside them. Grandpa, driving, shouts "Hey there!" "Look % at that," Ned laments, "Everyone's living it up except Ned." % % The convertible pulls away, and Abe, out of Ned's earshot, yells, % "We're being car-jacked!" One of the women cocks a gun, and points it % at Abe, and demands they be taken to Dress Barn. % % [End of Act One. Time: 5:37] % % At the home of the Flanders, Ned walks into his kitchen with a few % extra ruffles in his ol' pushbroom. He eyes some bread and water % that's been placed on the table for him. Maude: Where have you been, Neddy? Ned: In the bathroom ... not trimming my moustache! What do you think? Do I remind you of troubled troubadour David Crosby? Maude: No. You remind me of silly-billy Ned Flanders! [Maude and the kids laugh] Ned: Would a "silly-billy" sit like this? [pulls up a chair and sits in it backward, causing his back to emit a cracking noise] Maude: Rod, call Dr. Stein. -- Ned's teenage years, sixty-seven too late, "Viva Ned Flanders" % On the rooftop of his house, Homer has a pile of meat stacked up % beside the chimney. Ned spots him from the window. Peering down the % chimney, Homer yells, "All right, Bart, fire in the hole!" A blast of % fire shoots out the chimney, cooking the meat Homer has on a spit. % "Okay, no more gasoline," Homer yells. Ned observes this with % curiosity and joins Homer on the Simpson roof. Homer: Full power! [flames pour out the chimney] Ned: Never a dull moment, huh, Homer? Homer: You got that right. Throw on the mesquite, Bart! Bart: [from living room] Mesquite it is! [Bart tosses a tire into the fireplace, sending clouds of black smoke up the chimney, enveloping the meat] Ned: This may sound just a teensy bit insane in the ol' membrane, Homer, but I was wondering if you could show me how to have some fun. Homer: Well, well, well, so flawless Flanders needs help from stinky- pants Simpson. Ned: Heh, heh, yeah, I guess I do. Homer: Welly, welly, welly. Mister Clean wants to hang with dirty Dingus McGee. Ned: How 'bout it, Homer, will you teach me the secret of your intoxicating lust for life? Homer: Wellisy, wellisy, wellisy ... Ned: Stop that! Will you help me or not? Homer: [swigs, then tosses his empty off the side] Let's do it. [Homer sits down and slides of the roof. Ned calls down to him] Ned: So what about all this meat? Homer: Ah, the missus will clean that up. Marge: [appearing on the rooftop with cleaning supplies] Now it's Marge's time to shine! -- Shine on, you crazy diamond, "Viva Ned Flanders" % In the kitchen, Homer wears his reading glasses and talks business % with his neighbor. Homer: First of all, I get five dollars a day, plus expenses. Ned: Seems fair. Homer: And I'll need your signature here, here, and ... initial here. Lisa: [walking in] Hah, you're not really giving my father power of attorney, are you? Ned: Of course I'm ... [gasps] oh, my stars, I can't do that! Homer: Well, that's unfortunate, it really is. Ned: [sighs] All right. [signs document] Homer: Congratulations. Welcome to the Homer Simpson Program. Ned: So, what happens next? Homer: One day soon, I will come for you. And then the game will begin. Could be in the middle of the night ... could be when you least expect it. Or, whatever's good for you, I don't care. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Driving in Homer's car together, Ned has a pen and notepad for note- % taking ready. Ned: Okay, Homer, I'm ready to learn! What's the first lesson? Give me the topic sentence. Homer: Mmm ... give me that! [grabs the pad and throws it out the window] That's your problem! You're living up here! [points to his head] You gotta live down here! [points to a spot a little lower on his head] In the impulse zone! If you wanna be like me, you gotta make snap decisions, like this! [Homer spins the car out, ending up facing the other direction] Homer: We're going to break the bank at the Monty Burns Casino! Ned: Homer, they blew that up yesterday. Homer: Oh, yeah, right. Then we're going to Las Vegas! Which is actually back in that direction. [Homer spins the car out again and drives off] -- Mister spontaneity, "Viva Ned Flanders" % Driving down the highway, Homer sings, to the tune of "Highway Star," % the saga of how he will teach Ned to have fun. They pass Raoul Duke % and Dr. Gonzo, driving the other way, obviously tripping. Gonzo's % head looks sort of like a giant onion from which bubbles fly. Dr. Gonzo: That sure was a fun trip to Las Vegas. Raoul Duke: Ah, too many kids. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % In Homer's car, as it begins to get dark, Ned checks his watch and % decides it's time to call his wife. Homer assures him (falsely, as it % turns out) that he called from the gas station. % % Homer and Ned drive among the lights and signs of Sin City. Ned: Gee, Homer, it all looks so garish. Oh, the lights, the noise, the letter 'X'! It's, it's all designed to enflame the senses. I'm overstimulated, I gotta get out of this town! Homer: I don't think so. [power locks the doors] I think you'll find escape is quite impossible. Ned: [flips up the door lock] No, I got it. [jumping out of the car, he runs into Joan Rivers] Rivers: Oh, oh! Would you like to be in the audience for my infomercial? Ned: Aaahh! [jumps back into the car] Rivers: [running alongside car] Help me! My daughter's not talented! -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Pulling into "Nero's Palace", Homer and Ned notice a man on a % motorcycle high above them. Homer: Hey! Lance Murdock! Ned: If he's not careful, his scooter could roll right down that ramp. Homer: He's a daredevil, Ned! He laughs at death. Ned: Huh, when I wanna laugh, I'll take Bob Saget, thank you very much! -- He hasn't seen "Half Baked" I'll bet, "Viva Ned Flanders" % Lance gets ready to defy death. Announcer: And now, the indestructible Lance Murdock will jump his "suicycle" over an audience member. And he'll do it while attempting to open a locked safe on his head! Any volunteers? Homer: [pointing out Flanders] Pick him! Pick him! Ned: No, Homer, no! I want do something exciting, but I can't just go from zero to thirty like that! I could be killed! Homer: Fine, I'll do it. [to Murdock] Where do you want me? Murdock: On the 'X'! [Homer looks to a nearby ramp with a skull and crossbones 'X' on it. Red colored splatters decorate the incline] Homer: You mean the one with the red paint? Murdock: Uh, yeah, paint. Now, it's of critical importance that you don't ... Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll figure it out. This isn't rocket science. Murdock: Well actually, there are several rockets mounted to the ... Homer: Boring! -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Homer lies down and the drumroll begins. With a safe on his head, % Lance takes off down the ramp and into the air. Announcer: He's cleared the ring of fire ... and the ring of ice ... over the dog doo stick ... he's cracked the safe ... Homer: [sitting up] Hey, Flanders, don't spill my beer! Murdock: Oh, God, lay down! Lay down! [attempting to miss Homer, crashes and rolls into a nearby concrete wall. Medics pounce on him with an electric heart- starter] Announcer: He's all right, folks! -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % The crowd cheers while Homer walks away with Ned. Homer: Okey-dokey. Let's hit the tables. Ned: Huh! My God, Homer, watching you risk your life turned my beat box all the way up to ... rumba! Well yeah, I was praying you'd be safe, but to, to, to be honest part of me wanted to see you get splattered! Homer: Ooh, I think someone just had his first taste of bloodlust! -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % At the roulette wheel, Homer tries to figure out on which number to % bet. Homer: Let's see, what's Marge's birthday? Barney is April twentieth, same as Hitler's, so Marge must be fifty ... oh, forget it. Flanders, what's your birthday? Ned: Aw, leave me out of this, Homer. Games of chance are strictly forbidden by Deuteronomy 7. Homer: Seven, eh? [Homer places his chips on seven; the ball lands in the seven slot] Homer: Way to go, Flanders! The Bible's finally pulling its weight. Got any more holy numbers? Ned: Oh, I got a bunch, Homer, but I just don't feel right. Oh, Lord, what should I do? [Ned looks up at the ceiling, staring at a black bubble camera which quietly says "Keep gaming"] Ned: What? Security Man: [speaking through bubble] It means gambling. Keep gambling. Ned: Oh! Righty-O! -- A sign from above, "Viva Ned Flanders" % Flanders consents, asking for "one betting disk." This is far too % timid for Homer, and he empties the contents of Ned's wallet onto the % table. The number loses, and the dealer pulls the stack away. Homer % nonchalantly accepts the loss and goes for a drink. % % At a table, Homer sits drinking, next to Ned. Ned: How do you do it, Homer? How do you silence that little voice that says, 'think'? Homer: You mean Lisa? Ned: Oh, no, I mean common sense. Homer: Oh, that. That can be treated with our good friend alcohol! You might want to write that down. Where the hell's your notebook? Ned: You threw it out the ... Homer: Never mind, just pay attention. Slave girl! Oh, slave girl! Amber: More libations, my imperial conqueror? Homer: Huh? Ginger: [annoyed] More booze! Homer: Oh, yeah. Two more of these, please. And for you, Ned? Ned: I'll have a Shirley ... no, a Virgin ... no! Make it a children's ... Oh, what the heck, you only live once. Give me a white wine spritzer! -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % The word "spritzer" echoes in Ned's brain; moments later, in our time % at least, the two sit in a hot tub in the middle of a completely % trashed hotel room. Ned wakes up. Ned: Oh my goodness, Homer, wake up! [shakes Homer] Homer: Meh ... up? Ned: Look at this place. We must have really painted the town last night. I have a pounding headache, my mouth tastes like vomit, and I don't remember a thing! Homer: Welcome to my world. Ned: Oh, I did it! I conquered my fears, and I made up for a lot of lost living! And I owe it all to the Homer Simpson program! Ginger: Well, it's about time you two woke up. Homer: Well of course it ... aah! Who are you? Ginger: Who am I? I'm Mrs. Ned Flanders! Ned: Gaahh! Homer: [laughing] Hey, smooth move, Flanders! Amber: And I'm Mrs. Homer Simpson. Homer: Aaah! Ned: Here comes that vomit again. Homer: Bleeah! -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % [End of Act Two. Time: 14:30] % % Homer and Ned are still a bit shaken up by the news; Homer tries to % determine the situation for himself. Homer: Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, you're saying that Ned and me married you two. Amber: Oh yeah, we're hitched all right. "'Til death do us part." Ned: [trying to hang himself with a belt] I'm working on that. Homer: Ned, no! Think of your wives! -- Won't somebody =please= think of the wives? "Viva Ned Flanders" % Homer is suspicious of this new situation. Homer: Wait a minute. This could be some kind of scam. Or possibly scamola! We would remember if we got married. Amber: Boy, you did have a lot to drink last night, Homeo! Ginger: Take a look at this. [she hands Homer a video] Homer: Aw, precious memories. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Sticking the tape in the video player, Homer sees both himself and % Ned at a wedding boutique with the two cocktail waitresses. Ned wears % a 70's-style suit with gold chains, and Homer a hat and tie. Ned: I okily ... dokily ... schmokily do! Minister: And do you, Homer, take this cocktail waitress you just met to be your lawfully wedded wife? Homer: What did you call me? Minister: [sighs] Do you want to get married? Married! Homer: Sure! Sock it to me, baby. Minister: By the power vested in me by the Chicago Outfit, I now pronounce you husbands and wives. [Homer and Ned's new wives kiss them to electronic wedding music. Back in the hotel room, Homer comes to a horrifying realization] Homer: We are so dead. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Later, at the hotel restaurant, Homer and Ned sit at a table opposite % their new wives. Homer: Ladies, we wanna do the honorable thing, so breakfast is on us. With full waffle bar privileges. But first, I'm afraid we have some bad news. [sighs] The waffle bar is closed. I'm sorry, I'm so very ... Ned: Homer! The bad news, ladies, is we already have wives. Amber: Well you can't be very happy with them if you married us. Ginger: You two fellas are the nicest husbands we've ever had. And we're not giving you up without a fight. Homer: But Ginger, honey, I am not the catch I appear to be. Ned: Ginger's my wife! Homer: Are you sure? Oh, rats. No offense, sweetie. Ned: Homer, why don't we go make the girls some custom omelets? Homer: Geez, I've never seen anyone so whipped so fast. [makes whip sound] -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % At the breakfast counter, Ned is has a panic attack while Homer % gathers some food items onto a tray. Ned: What are we gonna do, Homer? My kids are gonna be traumatized! And then there's Maude! And then there's Maude!! Homer: I don't know, Flanders, having two wives could have its advantages. [Homer's imagination conjures up himself lying in a hammock while Marge and the cocktail waitress chop wood and dig a hole, respectively] Homer: Chop, chop, dig, dig, chop, chop, dig, dig, chop, chop, dig, dig ... Marge: You know, Homey, there's so much more two wives could do for you ... Homer: I hear digging, but I don't hear chopping! -- Um, yeah ... they could bring you a beer and a lemonade, "Viva Ned Flanders" % Just then, in his dream, a bee flies by. "Ooh! A friendly bee!" he % says, until it sits on his nose and stings him, making him scream. % Back at the casino, Homer holds his nose. Homer: Ow! That sting hurts so much! We gotta get out of this, Ned. Ned: Well do something. This is all your fault. You and your stupid program! Homer: Blame me if you must, but don't ever speak ill of the Program! The Program is rock solid! The Program is sound! Ginger: Yoo hoo! Homer: Oh, those awful women want their omelets. Ned: Oh, how are we gonna get out of this mess in an honorable and decent ... [sees Homer running off] Oh ... nuts! [runs after him] -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Back at the table, Ginger is reluctant to eat the fattening omelet. % Amber advises her to relax, since she's already landed a husband. Her % serenity disappears when she notices the guys making a break for it. % % To the tune of "Viva Las Vegas", Homer and Ned run from the % waitresses into the casino and knock over a bunch of slot machines, % whose engrossed users simply tilt their heads to keep playing. % Pulling two janitors into a utility room, they attempt to beat them % up, but things unfortunately end up the other way around. Crawling % away in pain, they encounter their wives once more and run back into % the casino, where Gil tries his luck at craps. Gil: Come on, baby, show Gil a four! [rolls dice -- snake eyes] Dealer: Craps! Gil: Oh, no, why did I bet the company payroll? Oh, Gil's in a lot of trouble. -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Homer and Ned, hiding behind Gil's table, are spotted by both their % wives and the Security Cameraman. Amber: Somebody help! Our husbands are trying to ditch us! Security Man: Someone dishonoring their marriage vows? Not in Las Vegas. Attention all employees! We've got two runaways. Stop them! -- They take marriage seriously in Vegas, "Viva Ned Flanders" % The two are surrounded by men in black suits, Gunter and Ernst with a % white tiger, Drederick Tatum, and the Moody Blues, who improvise a % poem. Graeme Edge: Cold-hearted Homer ditching his wife, While ancient Ned runs for his life. Justin Hayward: Chips of red, and blue, and white, But we decide, we ... John Lodge: Can the poems, it's arse-whipping time. Ray Thomas: [pulling out a knife] I want fatty. -- That wasn't in the liner notes, "Viva Ned Flanders" % Homer yells; our two heroes soon find themselves cornered. Homer % suggests switching wives. "For the last time," says Flanders with % some exasperation, "no!" Eyeing a car on display in the casino, Homer % figures he and Ned can use it to escape. He jumps in the convertible % and yells "So long, suckers." His pause, however, gives the casino % employees time to jump on top of the car and pummel the two. Later, % Tatum tosses the two past a sign that reads "State Line", into the % desert next to the highway. Security Man: Get out and stay out. Las Vegas don't care for out-of- towners. Take your money and go someplace else. Amber: And don't you ever try to marry us again. Ginger: We found some guys that know how to treat a woman. [indicate Gunter and Ernst] [Gunter and Ernst glance at each other, while their white tiger looks about uneasily] -- You sure can pick 'em, "Viva Ned Flanders" % They walk off; Homer gets down on his knees. Homer: But Amber, I can change! Ned: Will you shut up?! Homer: All right, let's get our stories straight for Marge and Maude. [the two begin walking down the highway] We were out buying them fabulous gifts ... Ned: What's the occasion? Homer: Because we love them, jackass! Anyhoo, we came out of Wal- Mart when suddenly, one hundred spaceships ... Ned: Homer! Homer: You're right, you're right, fifty spaceships beamed us aboard. They gang-probed you, while I discovered an invention that blew their heads up and saved America. Ned: Uh, do I have to be gang-probed? [two vultures land on the highway behind them, first looking at Ned and Homer, then each other] Homer: Would you rather tell Maude the truth? Ned: [sighs] What did the aliens look like? Homer: Well, I only saw them from the back 'cause they were so busy gang-probing you. Well hello, little birdie! [fade to black] -- "Viva Ned Flanders" % Homer and Ned scream through the first part of the credits, % presumably being attacked by the birds. "Cover your eyes!" Homer % yells. The credits roll on Vegas marquees, accompanied by the song % "Viva Las Vegas". % % [End of Act Three. Time (not including credits): 20:29] ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {ad} Avery Davies {af} Alex Foley {af2} Alex Flandonwittsy {ag} Andrew Gill {ah} Alan Hamilton {bc} Ben Collins {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {dc} David Cross {ddg} Don Del Grande {dga} Dale G. Abersold {dj} Darrel Jones {ec} Ellen Cohen {hl} Haynes Lee {jc} Jeff Cross {je} Jordan Eisenberg {jg} Jeremy Gallen {jk} Joe Klemm {jm} Jesse McCann {jr} Jason Rosenbaum {jr2} Jeremy Reaban {mn} Michael K. Neylon {mr} Matt Rose {ms} Mike Smith {nd} Nathan DeHoff {np} Nate Patrin {ol} Ondre Lombard {pt} Paul Tomko {ss} Samuel Sklaroff {th} Tony Hill {tld} Travis D. McLemore, Jr. {tpe} Todd Emerson {tr} Tom Rinschler ============================================================================== > Legal Mumbo Jumbo ============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 1999 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The transcript itself is Copyright 1999 John Ogan. This capsule has been brought to you by Nero's Palace -- call now for our Emperor's rate! This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today. Many thanks to Frederic Briere, who provided me with Archive e-mail when needed.