Marge Gets a Job                        Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
                                                         Directed by Jeff Lynch
                                                Produced by a cast of thousands
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[$Id]
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> TV Guide synopsis
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> Title sequence [0:50]
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Driveway   :- Homer says `D'oh!' when Lisa scoots past.
              Homer says `Waugh!' when the car closes in on him.

Couch:     :- OFF runs in with mismatched heads; they jump onto couch
              and sit.  They notice their heads are on wrong and exchange
              them.  Maggie takes her pacifier from Homer's head.

Blackboard :- ``I will not teach others to fly''
              ``I will not teach other'' at cutoff

Lisa's Solo
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> Didja notice...
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      + Couch scene
            Maggie's body has Homer's head sucking her pacifier
            Bart's body has Lisa's head
            Homer's body has Maggie's head
            Marge's body has Bart's head
            Lisa's body has Marge's head
            Homer's head is clueless
            The heads are transplanted to their proper place
            Maggie takes her pacifier from Homer's head
      + The table fan sucking Maggie has unprotected blades
      + Homer dreams of a different colored couch
      + The house slants are inconsistent
      + Things on the roof
            Frisbee
            Paper airplane
            Balsa airplane
            Football
            Purple kite
            Badminton shuttlecock
            Baseball
            White paper
            Model rocket
            Huge brown M&M
            Racquet
            Santa Claus decoration
      + Half-ass resembles Lisa's Pony [8F06]
      + In the basement Homer is wearing Bart's lucky red hat
      + On the van: Surly Joe's Foundation Repair
      + Yellow Page listings
            Formal Wear
            Foundation Repair
                Surly Joe's Foundation Repair -- The Only Foundation
	        Repair Company in Town
            Fountains
            Fraternal Organizations
      + Tourist holding his wife at an angle
      + Animals in Homer's nature odyssey
            Two squirrels
            Turtle
            Bird
            Two butterflies
            Homer
      + Words to Smithers' song:
            There is a man, a certain man,
            Whose grace and handsome face are known across the land,
            You know his name, it's Mr. Burns
            He loves a smoke, enjoys a joke,
            Why he's worth ten times what he earns
            He's Mr. Burns (I'm Mr. Burns)
            He's Monty Burns (MR. Burns!)
            To friends he's known as Monty but to you it's Mr. Burns,
            Bur-bur-bur-bur-Burns. (Burns!)
      + As Smithers sings, dancing women massage Burns' head, as in
        [8F13] "Homer at the Bat"
      + When Homer opens the front door it gets a gravity assist
      + Marge's resume:
            Marge Simpson, Resumer, Homemaker: 1980 to present
      + Lisa's additions:
            Chauffer, seamstress, curator of large mammals, worked for the
            Carter administration, invented equipment at the nuclear plant,
	    speaks Swahili
      + Homer has hair on his back and chest and legs
      + When Smithers hires Marge, there is a picture of Burns and Elvis from
        [8F09] "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk"
      + During Rampage of the Curies the Japanese man speaks out of sync
        with his mouth movements, as if the words were dubbed
      + Grandpa's book:
            Guide to Infantile Distress by Dr. Washburn's Asbestos Pills
      + Possible sicknesses:
            Dropsy
            Grip
            Scruffula
            Vapors
            Jungle rot
            Andy fever (?)
            Poor man's gout
            Housemaid's knee
            Climactic poobo (?)
            Staggers
            Dum-dum fever
      + Usual radioactive leakage around pipes at the power plant
      + Homer puts the capsule in the tube with the arrow facing the wrong way
      + Places the tube goes:
            Outside between buildings
            Crazy maze of twisted tubes
            By a guy eating donuts
            Through Burns' office while he and Smithers take tea
            By a misplaced drum of toxic waste labeled "Danger"
            Bounces into the river
            Becomes part of the beaver dam
      + Scenes from the plant monitors:
            Limbo using a control rod between toxic waste drums
            Radiation suited chess players
            Cock fighting
            Marge wearing the safety helmet far above her head
      + Drooping flower in the beaker at power plant
      + Employee moral:
            Employee sobbing
            Employee drinking
            Employee polishing shotgun
      + Employee who is the Angel of Death has one twitching eye
      + Funny hats:
            Sombrero
            Moose antlers
            Propeller beanie
            Viking horns
            Fez
            Lucky red cap
            Statue of Liberty
      + Bart turning a flip against the wall just like Burns in [7F22]
        "Blood Feud"
      + Krustylu Studios, The Krusty the Clown Show, 3:30 Show
      + Animals on the Krusty show:
            Large bird
            Alaskan Timberwolf
      + Can of Buzz Cola on the ground when Timberwolf escapes
      + Bart's test:
            Bart Simpson, Test, 1) Ivanhoe is the story of a Russian farmer
            and his tool
      + Burns applies Scalp Wax, hides it in the drawer when Marge arrives,
        then his head slips as he rests it on his hand
      + Sliding door bonks Tom Jones on the head
      + Burns' visualization of Homer wears a gold chain with the letter "H"
      + Burns draws moustache, horns, and flies on Marge's monitor image
      + Mall stores:
            I Can't Believe It's a Law Firm
            Origami Signs
            Yogurt Nook
            Bakery
      + When Tom Jones performs at the end:
            Performs in Hollywood Bowl theater
            Some capitol building is in the background
            Tom Jones' leg is manacled
      + Troy McClure instructional videos:
            Mothballing Your Battleship
            Dig Your Own Grave and Save
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> Reviews
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> Movie (and other) References
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      + Spruce Caboose is based on Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose flying boat
      + While Burns monitors the monitors the music is "The Imperial March"
        from "The Empire Strikes Back"
      + On country-western day Lenny dresses as Fonzie from "Happy Days"
      + Tom Jones songs:
            "What's New Pussycat?"
            "It's Not Unusual"
      + Tom Jones performs at the Copper Slipper in Las Vegas
      + "Tonight Tom Jones and Double Jackpot Slots!!"
      + "Bobbie Goodwin and the Gibbons"
      + James Bond general villain: "Pleasant dreams, Mister Jones"
      + Krustylu is a reference to Desilu of "I Love Lucy" fame
      + Animals on the Krusty show are from Joan Embry of the San Diego Zoo
        on "The Tonight Show"
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> Freeze Frame Fun
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      + Couch scene
      + Homer's retirement couch dream evaporates
      + Santa Claus' expression
      + 1992 Springfield telephone directory has cover picture of Jebediah
        Springfield
      + Homer spills beer after sliding down couch
      + Picture of wrecked train includes mutilated bodies strewn
        aside the wreckage
      + When Bart falls out the window he lands on his head and compresses
      + At the beginning of the Rampage of the Curies, as the camera pans up:
            Bird on telephone wire
            Flower in window
            Gargoyle that defies description
            Window washer platform
      + Impact lines when zooming camera strikes Marge's face
      + Lenny getting slashed by the chain into barrels of toxic waste
      + Bart's face during Tourette's Syndrome outburst
      + Wolf chewing on Bart, Groundskeeper Willie fighting the wolf
      + One of the ten high-priced lawyers looks like an alien or a grinch
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> Animation and continuity goofs
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      + During retirement party Homer's jacket disappears and Homer and
        Marge switch places
      + Groundskeeper Willie rips his shirt off, then it reappears as he
        fights the wolf
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> Comments and other observations
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This humble offering is dedicated to Raymond Chen.
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> Quotes and scene summary
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% Marge walks into the living room, sorting through the mail.
% Homer is lying on the couch.

Marge:   Resident ... Occupant ... Mm, a free sample of Lemon Time!
         [Homer grabs it and drinks it].
         Homer, that's dishwashing liquid!
Homer:   Yeah, but what are you gonna' do?
-- Homer cleans his whistle, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Homer imagines retirement.
% OFF notices the house is tilting.
% Homer watches "THE HALF-ASSED APPROACH TO FOUNDATION REPAIR" video.
% Troy McClure quickly overwhelms Homer.

Troy:   Now, do you have extruded polyvinyl foam insulation?
Homer:  No.
Troy:   Good!
-- Homer repair, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Homer tells off the only foundation guy in town.
% Crowds gather around The Leaning Tower of Springfield.

Bart:    Behold the horrors of the slanty shanty!
         See the twisted creatures that dwell within!
         Meet Cue Ball, The Man with No Hair!
Homer:   [Through the window]  Huh?  Grrrr!!!
Crowd:   Gasp!  He's hideous!!
-- Homer the Freak, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Marge says the foundation needs to be fixed.

Homer:   Marge, it'll cost 85 hundred dollars.
         We only have 5 hundred in the bank.
         And that leaves ...
         ... 80 hundred we need.
-- Homer Cray Simpson, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Marge suggests getting a part-time job.
% Homer imagines his idyllic life keeping a journal in the woods.

Homer:   March 15--I wish I'd brought a TV.
         Oh God, how I miss TV!
-- On Homer Pond, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% OFF goes to a retirement party at the "Spruce Caboose".

Guide:   It was the most beautiful, most expensive train ever built.
         The Spruce Caboose!  Some people said it was too big to stay
         on the tracks.  Heh, heh.  They were right!
-- On the right track, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Smithers pays musical tribute to Mr. Burns (that's Mr. Burns) at
% Jack Marley's retirement party.

% Barley is thrown from the train for being part of the Me Generation.

Marge:   Maybe I should apply for that job.
Homer:   Forget it, Marge.  We already live together--we shouldn't work
         together.  As the Bible says, "Thou shalt not horn in on thy
         husband's ... racket".
-- Quoting from the "Book of Homer", ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Hummingbird alights on chimney sinking house further and knocking
% Bart out his bedroom window.

% [End of Act One.  Time: 5:36]

% Lisa pads Marge's resume.

Lisa:    Mom, they expect you to lie a little.
Marge:   Worked for the Carter Administration?!?
Lisa:    Well you voted for him.  Twice!
Marge:   Lisa, shhh.  Someone might be listening.
-- Marge Simpson:  GOP Poster Woman, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Smithers reads Marge's resume

Smithers: Mm-hmm.  Uh-huh.  Oh, I thought Muddy Waters wrote that song.
-- Marge writes the blues, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Marge gets the job

Smithers:  This resume is very impressive.  Let me be the first to say
           "Abebu Gazini".
Marge:     What?
Smithers:  "Welcome aboard".  I guess my Swahili's not as good as yours.
-- Smithers gets an F in Swahili, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Homer's support is not forthcoming.

Lisa:     I think it's wonderful!  Mom and Dad side by side at the
          power plant.  You'll be just like Marie and Pierre Curie.
Homer:    What'd they do?
Lisa:     They discovered radium!  Then they both died of radiation
          poisoning.
-- If only there had been a safety inspector, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Bart imagines the rampage of the 50-foot-tall Curies.

Man:      It's the Curies!  We must flee!
-- They're hideous!, ``Marge Gets a Job''


% First day of work arrives.

Homer:    Now, Marge, just remember.  If something goes wrong at the plant,
          blame the guy who can't speak English.  Ah, Tibor, how many times
          have you saved my butt?
-- Homer milks the scapegoat, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Smithers shows Marge around the plant.

Smithers: And this is your office.  That idiot Tibor lost the key, but you
          can jimmy it open with a credit card.  Well, have fun.
Marge:    What do I do?
Smithers: Heh, heh, heh.  Marge, please!  According to your resume you
          invented this machine.
-- I can't believe I invented it, ``Marge Gets a Job''


% Bart fakes illness in class.

Mrs. K:   Bart, have you ever read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?
Bart:     I'm halfway through it, I swear!
-- That's one, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Homer tries to drag Marge to lunch.

Homer:    Marge, Marge, Marge.  Let's file this under "R" ... for
          ah, Rivederci!
-- He's talking funny talk, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% The eternal question of where the tube goes is answered.
% Grampa tends to an ailing Bart.

Grampa:   Good news, boy--I found a pharmacy that carries leaches!
          Well it wasn't exactly a pharmacy--more of a bait shop.
-- Sucker!, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Burns monitors the monitors.

Burns:    Jackanapes!  Lollygaggers!!  Noodleheads!!!
          [spies Marge]  Enchantress!
          Smithers, that woman--she's so captivating.
          My heart's pounding like a jackhammer!
          I must have her!  Smithers, zoom in.
          Closer!  Closer!  Closer, damnit!
Camera:   Bonk!
Marge:    Ow!
Smithers: Too close.
-- Beauty and the Burns, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% [End of Act Two.  Time: 5:09]

% Burns visits his favorite new employee

Burns:    Marge, what can we do?
Marge:    Oh, you could give them healthier snacks, ... theme days, ...
Burns:    Like "Child Labor Day"?
-- Maggie on the bubble, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Theme days and healthy snacks are unpopular.
% Burns promotes Marge to Smithers' job.
% Bart returns to school.

Mrs. K:   So, Bart, how are you feeling?
Bart:     Can't complain.
Mrs. K:   Well, then, you're ready for your makeup test.
Bart:     Oooooh!  My ovaries.
-- That's two, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Grampa picks up Bart from school

Grampa:   Have you ever read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?
Bart:     I glanced at it.  Boy cries wolf, has a few laughs, ...
          I forget how it ends.
-- This is not foreshadowing, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Homer complains that Marge is promoted ahead of him
% Burns daydreams about Marge; Smithers daydreams about Burns

Burns:    Yes, well, Smithers, I want you to arrange a party for two at
          my estate:  Marge, me, and do you think you could dig up Al Jolson?
Smithers: Ah, do you remember we did that once before?
Burns:    Oh, that's right he's dead.  And rather pungent.
-- Burns digs Al Jolson, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Western day at the plant is a success.
% Homer pays off and tells off repairman
% Smithers kidnaps Tom Jones
% Bart returns to class

Mrs. K:   Bart, to avoid this test, you've had smallpox, the bends,
          and that unfortunate bout of Tourette's syndrome.
Bart:     Well, I'm not sure I'm over it ... Shove it, witch!
          [Click] [Click] Rrrrr, rrrrr, rrrrr!   Arrrr, arrrr, arrrr!
-- Bart's well of excuses runs dry, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% An Alaskan Timberwolf escapes from The Krusty Show and runs amok

Bart:     Wolf!  Wolf!  Wolf!!!
Mrs. K:   I'm afraid you have to better than that.
-- Perhaps there is no moral to this story, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Burns invites Marge to dinner


Burns:    You have a husband?  Yes, I can picture him now:
          rugged good looks, sweater knotted about his shoulders,
          curly locks shining in the sun like spun gold!
-- The sweater is size 7G, ``Marge Gets a Job''

Burns:    You're fired!
Marge:    You can't fire me just because I'm married.
          I'm going to sue the pants off you.
Burns:    You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.
-- Burns pants over Marge, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Wolf continues to maul Bart

Willy:    Hey, wolfie, put down that hors d'oeuvre.
          It's time for the main course.
-- Bart is a cocktail weenie, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Bart hands in his chewed-up exam.
% Groundskeeper Willy consoles the defeated wolf.

Wolfie:   [Heavy panting]
Willy:    Don't feel bad for losing.  I was wrestling wolves when you
          were back at your mother's teat!
-- Groundskeeper Willy shares the milk of human kindness, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Marge consults Lionel Hutz about her sexual harassment suit.
% Hutz folds in the face of Burns' ten high-priced lawyers.
% Homer demands an apology.

Burns:  I want you to show this woman the time of her life.
Homer:  Gotcha!  Marge, we're getting some drive-thru then we're doing
        it twice!
-- The Homer always drives-thru twice, ``Marge Gets a Job''

% Burns treats Homer and Marge to an evening with Tom Jones.

% [End of Act 3] What a lame-o ending!

% Tom Jones croons "It's not Unususual" over the credits.
% Fortunately, Fox talks over Tom Jones.
% Normal Gracie credit

Ray, I don't use the word "hero" often.  However, Raymond J. Chen--you are
... the greatest hero ... in world history!

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# Episode summaries Copyright 1992 by Gregory A. Martin and his stupid, but
# loyal, sidekick Daniel S. Lewart.  Not to be redistributed in a public
# forum without permission.  (The quotes themselves, of course, remain
# the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain the
# property of the original authors.  We're just taking credit for the
# compilation.)
# By the way, we stole this disclaimer from Raymond Chen.