Mother Simpson                                         Written by Richard Appel
                                                    Directed by David Silverman
===============================================================================
Production code: 3F06                       Original airdate in N.A.: 19-Nov-95
                                                  Capsule revision F, 22-Feb-97
===============================================================================
> Title sequence
===============================================================================
Blackboard :- None due to shortened intro.

Lisa's Solo:- None due to shortened intro.

Couch      :- Snowball II is cleared off the couch with a bowling-lane
              clearer, and the family are placed there with a large pin
              setter.

===============================================================================
> Did you notice...
===============================================================================
    ... the Lite Brite and lava lamp in young Homer's room?
    ... we never find out exactly what Grandma Simpson's first name is?
        (see below)

Don Del Grande:
    ... when Ned and Reverend Lovejoy come to console Marge, their wives
        bring food in plastic tubs?
    ... Lisa skips by in the backyard?
    ... the family's "full" first names are Homer, Marjorie,
        Bartholomew, Lisa (not Elizabeth), and Margaret (so technically
        Maggie is not named after Marge)?
    ... Homer slept with a Pillsbury Dough-Boy doll?
    ... Grandma Simpson pushes the front door open without using the
        knob when running from the police car?
    ... Maggie falls three times (two times chasing the butterfly, one
        of which was off-screen, and one when they confront Grandma
        Simpson)?
    ... Maggie is sticking her arms out when she chases the butterfly,
        as if she's trying to fly behind it?
    ... Maggie didn't laugh along with the others when Grampa Simpson
        suggests his wife live with him?
    ... Penelope Olsen (the name on Grandma Simpson's Ohio license) is
        the name given to Homer's mother in the Simpson Family Tree on
        the inside front cover of the Uncensored Family Album?
    ... Each of the driver's licenses lists a different weight and date
        of birth?
    ... the episode is "dedicated to the memory of Jackie Banks"?  (see
        below)

Dave Kathman:
    ... Homer knows who Walt Whitman is?

Doug Yovanovich:
    ... the clerk's computer runs Windows 95?
    ... Grandma's hair was brown in the past, but light blue in the
        present?
    ... Mr. Burns is the "chairman" of the Germ Warfare Lab?
    ... there's a picture of a sad clown in Abe and Grandma's living
        room?
    ... Kent Brockman's real name is Kenny Brockelstein?

Barry Weller:
    ... the Missouri driver's license looks a lot like a real one?

Dominik Halas:
    ... Lenny puts a bird's nest into his garbage bag?
    ... Maggie is shocked to see her grandmother?
    ... the radio in the kitchen china cabinet?
    ... the police car is driving on the left side of the road?
    ... the drum of radioactive material in the basement?
    ... Grampa Simpson's armchair is a recliner?
    ... "Do I know what rhetorical means?" is a rhetorical question?

Vince Pugliese:
    ... the Spiro Agnew clock?  (see below)

Aaron Varhola:
    ... in the opening, Marge's hair wobbles like a newly set pin?
    ... the hippie driving the van is wearing a Grateful Dead t-shirt?

Bob Roberds:
    ... the helpful bureaucrat at the hall of records starts pulling up
        Homer's record the instant Homer says his name?
    ... the writers penchant for needling people (in this case, Johnny
        Unitas) who've done voices for the show?
    ... by the time the autogyro was invented, there was no such country
        as Prussia?

Tony Hill:
    ... Mr. Burns's monopoly has a name: BurnsoDyne?
    ... BurnsoDyne violated civil rights laws by cutting off Marge's
        power?
    ... OFF now has a charcoal grill again?
    ... the DOBs on the driver licenses are consistent with Homer being
        36?
    ... the hat in the Tennessee driver license has a price tag?
    ... Homer wore Dr. Denton's at age 8 or 9?
    ... Marge calls Grandma "Mom"?
    ... Bart doesn't quite understand the 60s protest movement?

Ricardo Lafaurie:
    ... Abe had three flings despite the fact that he knew Grandma was
        alive?  (See 7F17, 9F06, 1F21)
    ... Marge and Lisa frown at the end of the couch scene, and Homer
        starts to frown?
    ... a mental patient seems to have escaped?
    ... Grandma wears army boots?
    ... with the exception of Penelope Olsen, all of Grandma's aliases
        have the same initials (MS)?
    ... if Homer's mother is called Mona, then her name is the same as
        Ned's mother, who also abandoned him?
    ... the "Hang In There" poster in young Homer's room?
    ... Chief Wiggum used to have asthma?
    ... Grandma loses her hat when running away from Burns?
    ... Skinner and Maude in the post office?
    ... Smithers seems to like ABBA?

Dave Hall:
    ... Burns holds the bag with pinkie extended?
    ... Burns is a litter bug?
    ... the highway crew doesn't wear protective gloves?
    ... how twisted the legs of Homer's dummy looks?
    ... Homer's dummy wears underwear?
    ... the beaver pulling on the hair strands of Homer's dummy?
    ... the Lovejoys have a juvenile counsellor?
    ... Rev. Lovejoy carries his "juvenile counsellor" card around with
        him?
    ... Patty and Selma buy a burial plot for Homer?
    ... the clerk punches up Homer's record before Homer finishes
        talking?
    ... Hans Moleman is alive?
    ... no one shows up for Hans' funeral?
    ... the cab waiting behind Homer and his mom?
    ... Homer's rear cleavage?
    ... the radioactive drum in the Simpson basement?
    ... Homer hasn't seen his mother in 25/27 years?
    ... Mother Simpson uses a broom to de-shock young Homer?
    ... young Homer has a rocket hovering over his bed just like Bart?
    ... Mother Simpson has four eyelashes per eye?
    ... Springfield has a state college?
    ... 60's Burns keeps pens in his pocket?
    ... Burns doesn't have Smithers around him in the 60's?
    ... Burns was the first person on the scene when the alarm goes off?
    ... Mother Simpson's "wanted" poster is older than the other
        posters?
    ... the photo of Grandma Bouvier at Patty and Selma's apartment?
    ... Chief Wiggum wears his badge on the correct side of this chest?
    ... Chief Wiggum serves coffee at Patty and Selma's apartment?
    ... Patty and Selma don't smoke in this episode?

Jussi Pakkanen:
    ... the sound the fish makes?
    ... the post office guy has a pen behind his ear?

===============================================================================
> Voice credits
===============================================================================
- Starring
    - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Hans, Abe, hippy)
    - Julie Kavner (Marge, Patty, Selma)
    - Nancy Cartwright (Bart)
    - Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
    - Hank Azaria (Carl, workman, Howard Cosell, kid in post office,
      cabbie)
    - Harry Shearer (Burns, Smithers, Lenny, Lovejoy, Ned, bureaucrat,
      protestor, Hans Moleman, post office employee, Joe Friday)
- Special Guest Voice
    - Glenn Close (Grandma Simpson)
    - Harry Morgan (Bill Gannon)
- Also Starring
    - Pamela Hayden (protestor)
    - Maggie Roswell (Maude, protestor)

===============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
===============================================================================

    "A Christmas Carol" {dh}
    - Homer reads his name on his tombstone, like Ebenezer Scrooge in
      the story
  + "Ghostbusters"
    - Homer mentions Dan Aykroyd, one of the stars of the movie
    - Homer's Pillsbury Doughboy doll is similar to the giant
      Marshmallow Man in the movie
    - Aykroyd's character in the movie says the Marshmallow Man was one
      of his favorite childhood toys
  + 1988's "Running on Empty" {dga}
    - plot of parents on the run after illegal acts in the 60s
  + "Get Smart" running gag {rl}
    - Bart is unable to hear Lisa over the dryer
  + "Hee Haw" {hl}
    - in her Tennessee driving license photo, Homer' mother looks like
      Minnie Pearl with her trademark hat and price tag
  + the 60s TV show "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In"
    - Maggie's dance very similar to how Goldie Hawn danced:
        - music taken from the show
        - camera zooming in and out
        - slogans painted on the body ("Ban the bottle" a pun on "Ban
          the bomb")
  + "Apocalypse Now"
    - "Ride of the Valkyries" is played while attacking
  + "Dragnet"
    - Joe Friday and Bill Gannon appear
    - music when the two look at each other outside Burns' office

===============================================================================
> Previous episode references
===============================================================================
- [MG04] Maggie chases a butterfly and falls while doing so {ddg}
- [7F04], [7F16], [2F07] Homer's mother is referred to or appears {rl}
- [7F16] A long-lost Simpson relative is found {rl}
- [7F24], [1F04] New Bedlam Asylum {rl}
- [8F02] Homer finding himself at the bottom of an open grave {rl}
- [8F11] Bart: "Best eight bucks I ever spent.", cf Homer saying "Best
  $600 I ever spent" {rl}
- [9F08], [9F16] Howard Cosell appears or is referred to {rl}
- [1F08] Burns worrying about germs {av}
- [1F19] "Good cop/Bad cop" is played/mentioned
- [2F02] "Springfield Hall of Records" appears {ddg}
- [2F12] Johnny Unitas appears {rl}
- [2F19] "Steal This Book" appears {rl}
- [2F32] Wiggum inhales a cloud of gas {dy}
- [3F01] Homer doesn't know who "Margaret Simpson" is {ddg}

===============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
===============================================================================
- Freeway cleanup sign: {rl}
    ___________________
   /                   \
   |   THIS  HIGHWAY   |
   |   MAINTAINED BY   |
   | _________________ |
   |/   BurnsoDyne    \|
   ||THE PROFIT PEOPLE||
   |\_________________/|
   \___________________/
            |:|
   
- Some garbage on the highway: {dh2}
    - Dead frog
    - Toilet seat lid
    - Oil drum
    - New Bedlam Asylum straight jacket
- Newspaper: {rl}
         LOCAL MAN
     LOSES PANTS, LIFE
   
   Beaver Rescue Falls Short
   
- Homer's tombstone: {rl}
     ____________________
    /--                --\
   //\ Homer J. Simpson /\\  [that's "Uosdwis R. Dewoh" to you! - ed]
   |----------------------|
   |    We are richer     |
   | for having lost him  |
   |                      |
   |\___/O\___--__/O\____/|
   
- Springfield Hall of Records: {dh2}
    - Not the Good Kind of Records, Historical Ones
- Walt Whitman's tombstone: {rl}
   Here    Lies
   WALT WHITMAN
 
   1819 - 1892
 
- The driver's licenses: {ddg}, {dh2}
   44 Bow St.        Beaver Dam, WI         Mona Simpson       120   3/15/29
   1123 Sission St.  Sedalia, Missouri      Mona Stevens       130   5/ 5/31
   Gen Del           Nome, Alaska           Martha Stewart     123  11/26/34,
                                                                    10/18/33
   610 Shawnee Dr.   Lovelace, Ohio         Penelope Olsen     133   7/18/33
   3713 Woodley Rd.  Dyersburg, Tennessee   Muddie Mae Suggins  -    2/27/29
   
    - The Alaska license has two dates on it
    - Each license had her height as 5'6" and with brown eyes
- Germ Warfare Laboratory, "When the H-Bomb Isn't Enough" {dh2}
- Some protest signs: {dh2}
    - Make Love / Not Germs
    - Pax Not Pox
    - Anthrax Isn't Groovy
    - Take The U.S.  Out of Pus
    - Germs Off Campus
- Some Germs: {dh2}
    - Smallpox
    - Diptheria
    - Typhoid
    - Rocking Pneumonia
    - Boggie-Woogie Influenza

===============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
===============================================================================
New Bedlam Asylum was called " New Bedlam Rest Home for the Emotionally
Interesting" in 7F24.  {dh2}

The turbine intake would not be located below the falls.  {th}

Smithers doesn't have his clipboard in a couple scenes.  {dh2}

The trees to which the hammock is attached change color.  {dh}

The trees and hammock disappears from the back yard when Marge yells at
the power cable guy.  {dh2}

There don't seem to be any power or signal cables connected to the
bureaucrat's computer monitor.  {br}

Homer reveals parts of the letters in "WALT WHITMAN" twice.  {dh}

The pile of dirt next to Homer's grave magically appears after he falls
in it.  {rl}

That flamingo-shaped thing next to Grampa appears out of nowhere.  {dh}

When Homer is discovered in the grave by his mother, it's much shallower
than at any other time.  {ddg}

Hans' coffin should not have been able to be lowered all the way if the
lid was open.  {ddg}

In the last scene of Act One, the tools and the dirt next to Homer's
grave disappear.  {rl}

Grandma's attitude was way different in 7G04 -- she told Homer that he
was a big disappointment!  {rl}

Homer usually wears his t-shirt hanging out, so the pelican's fish
shouldn't have been able to get stuck in Homer's pants.  {dh2}

Marge is standing beside the kitchen sink, yet vanishes during Bart's
chat with Grandma.  {dh2}

Bart pulls the adding machine out of thin air.  {dh2}

The tabble the adding machine rests on comes out of thin air.  {jp}

Marge refers to her "girlfriends", but in 1F03, she explicitly says she
has trouble making friends.  In fact, her only friend seems to be Ruth
Powers.  {rl}

Lisa and Grandma's beverages vanish just before Mona runs into the
house.  {dh2}

Bart pulls a telephone out of thin air.  {dh2}

The scene where Homer shows Grandma the dresser is weird -- he walks
through his doorway from the hall and turns to his left, where there is
no window, then in the next scene the window is to his left.  {rl}

There are two sets of light switches on both sides of young Homer's
bedroom door.  {dh2}

1969 Homer has that classic "Hang In There" cat poster hanging on his
bedroom door.  But it disappears in the next scene, when Mother Simpson
tucks him in.  {br}

The fig newton song didn't exist until the early 70s, so Mother couldn't
have sung it to Homer in 1969.  {mp}

If Homer was born in mid-1956, he would have been 12 during Super Bowl
III, the only one with Joe Namath.  (Then again, if Homer is 35 in late
1995, he would be 8 in early 1969 - but then he wouldn't have been old
enough to see a live Kennedy on TV and then imitate him, since he would
have been 2 when Kennedy was shot.)  {ddg}

Though Howard Cosell made Monday Night Football famous, he never did a
telecast for any Super Bowl.  {rl}

The "probably cute" Homer of January, 1969 looks a whole lot younger
than the Homer of July, 1969 (listening to "Yummy Yummy Yummy I Got Love
In My Tummy" while Neil Armstrong took one giant leap for mankind) in
"Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie".  {br}

Mr. Burns appears to have more hair in the '60s than he did in the '20s.
(cf. 7F02) {dh}

According to 1F16, Burns' hair had a different style in the '60s.  {rl}

The "Antibiotics" text isn't written on the canister before the Spiro
Agnew clock rings.  {jp}

Antibiotics don't kill viruses; they wouldn't have killed the smallpox,
typhoid, or diphtheria viruses.  {av}

Antibiotics wouldn't have cured Wiggum's asthma; however, they _might_
have controlled his acne (tetracycline is prescribed for acne).  {av}

"Diphtheria" was spelled without the first H. {al}

The neck strap on Lisa's saxophone disappears in one scene.  {jp}

Grandma's "wanted" poster appears to be older than the other wanted
posters, yet it covers some of the new ones.  Also, she only has three
eyelashes.  {dh2}

Bart's old t-shirt seems to have disappeared.  {dh2}

When Maggie is seen only in her diaper, she has three toes on each foot.
(This is the second time she has been drawn this way, the first being in
8F17 when her baggie rips off.)  {ddg}

Grandma's guitar vanishes just shortly after Grampa enters the front
room.  {dh2}

How did Homer and his mother escape in his car?  The driveway was
blocked by the FBI car, and the car was not in the street.  {ddg}

The gas station and phone booth disappear after Grandma drives off.
{dh2}

Homer's clothes-hanger antenna disappears from his car.  {dh2}

===============================================================================
> Reviews
===============================================================================
Mark Richey: An absolutely wonderful episode.  Easily the best one of
    the season, so far.  It's also certain to rank as one of the all
    time classics.  It's nice to see Mr. Burns back to his old evil self
    after his temproary bout of niceness two weeks ago.  Grade: A+.

Dale Abersold: Full of pathos without becoming overly sentimental, some
    good jokes, an explanation of Lisa's genetic heritage, a Hans
    Moleman appearance, 2 excellent guest voices.  In sum: an excellent
    episode, in a season that is improving week by week (knock on wood).
    We're in a golden age, my friends!

Adam Lipkin: Wow!  What a fantastic episode.  One of the most touching
    episodes I've ever seen.  Funny, charming, witty, serious when it
    had to be, everything you could have asked for.  Beautiful ending.
    A+ the whole way.

Don Del Grande: C-plus - I just stared at the screen for 22 minutes in
    sort of the same way that Homer stared at the sky at the end.  On
    top of that, the "Lisa is just like Grandma" bit was stressed a
    little too much.

Dave Kathman: I liked it.  I liked it even better the second time I
    watched it, which is always a good sign.  They're obviously
    continuing to keep their promise to return to the characters'
    emotional lives, and keeping it pretty damn funny to boot.  My
    personal biggest laugh came from Maggie's "Laugh-In" dance, but
    that's just me.

Doug Yovanovich: A funny, touching, and well-written episode.  Destined
    to be a classic.  Grade: [****-] (4 stars out of 5)

Scott Fujimoto: Grade: B-.  While this would rank lower in terms of
    laughs or sharp writing, the story and good Homer characterization
    made up for it.

Michael Handelman: My grade: A. An excellent episode, heartwarming,
    funny, and everyone was in character.  Best of the season.

John Comas: I personally liked this episode.  I look for episodes which
    make me think I'm watching the show longer than I really am.  This
    episode was able to do that due to the effective use of flashback
    and references.  So I say, it was a great episode, and I rate it an
    A.

Dominik Halas: An episode that attempts to mix humor and sentiment but
    doesn't completely succeed.  While certain parts had me howling with
    laughter (Homer's rant against Walt Whitman) and others had me
    empathizing with the characters (Lisa bonding with her grandmother;
    Homer wistfully sitting on his car at the end), the two elements
    weren't blended as well as they were in, say, 7F17.  B+/A-.

Aaron Varhola: Up there with 3F01 for best show of the new season, and
    best one of the past three, save for "Lisa's Wedding".  The episode
    clicked in drawing out the emotion between the characters and the
    continuity of how Homer and his children turned out the way they
    are.  A+.

Tony Hill: This was a fabulous ep!  The plot, gags, and humor were all
    very well crafted.  "Mother Simpson" will go down as one of the
    definitive episodes of this series.  Who among us could fail to
    appreciate the pathos in that the only reason Mrs. Simpson became a
    fugitive is because she tried to help Mr. Burns?  I give it an A!

Ricardo Lafaurie: I have to say I liked it.  Call me sappy, or warm, or
    sissy boy or whatever, but it made up for the coldness of "'Round
    Springfield."  The jokes were great, and they even characterized the
    characters properly, even Marge.  The writer proves his ability to
    have biting humor that doesn't cancel out sentiment.  (A+)

Jose Lafaurie: It was a good episode.  NOT!  This episode was the best I
    ever SAW!  I especially liked the way they showed Mr. Burns'
    personality through the Nazi-like music, Grampa's sexual urges, and
    Maggie's "Laugh-In" dance.  I really liked it that Homer's mom was a
    lot like Homer.  The similarities are great.  A+

Yours truly: Another fine episode focusing on a new family member.  I
    was touched that although Homer's generally a doofus, his mother
    loves him anyway.  The Lisa connection was great, and Glenn Close
    gives a fine performance.  An A episode.

===============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
===============================================================================
>> "Where is Springfield"

Dave Kathman says, "Walt Whitman is buried in Harleigh Cemetery in
    Camden, New Jersey, in a tomb he designed himself."  Dominik Halas
    notes, "The bird that lands on Homer's head is an American White
    Pelican; they are generally not found east and north of the
    Mississippi River valley and Florida."

>> Grandma Simpson's name

Several people noticed that "The Uncensored Family Album" and a
    "Simpsons Illustrated" issue list her name as Penelope Olsen --
    which was one of the names on the driver's licenses.  Her name might
    be "Mona", because this name appears on two of the licenses, but we
    never find out for certain.
    
    One of the fake names was Martha Stewart, who Ricardo Lafaurie
    identifies as the "renowed TV cookery artist who now has her own
    show on Lifetime, `Martha Stewart Living'.  Coincidentally, she
    aired after the `Tracey Ullman Show' reruns once on Lifetime, where
    the Simpsons made their debut."

>> Abe and the Super Bowl

Aaron Varhola says: "The Super Bowl wasn't called that until Super Bowl
    IV, in 1970.  The apocryphal story is that Lamar Hunt, owner of the
    Kansas City Chiefs, who were to play in Super Bowl, saw his
    granddaughter playing with a `Super Ball', and got the idea from
    that."
    
    "The Jets DID play the Colts in 1969, in what would be called Super
    Bowl III; and the Jets DID wear white uniforms.  Abe's comment was
    accurate; Joe Namath's brash personality (`guaranteeing' a win, even
    though the Jets were huge underdogs) brought interest in the NFL-AFL
    championship game that wasn't there after the Green Bay Packers blew
    out the AFL champions in the previous two games.  The Jets beat the
    Colts, 16-7."

>> The Lindbergh baby

Dave Kathman explains, "The infant son of Charles Lindbergh (then the
    most famous man in the U.S.) was kidnapped in 1932 and later found
    dead.  A man named Bruno Richard Hauptmann was eventually arrested,
    convicted of the crime in a trial that became a media circus, and
    executed in 1935.  Hauptmann's family has always insisted that he
    was innocent, and was railroaded due to strong anti-German (and
    generally anti-immigrant) sentiment in the country.  I think they
    may have a point; the case against him wasn't very good."

>> Jackie Banks

This episode was dedicated to her memory.  Don Del Grande found out she
    was one of the show's animation staff:

    - Season 2 (7Fxx) - Animation Checking Supervisor
    - Season 4 (9Fxx) - Animation Checker
    - Season 5 (1Fxx) - Animation Checker
    - Season 6 (2Fxx) - 2F33: Animation Checker
    - Other 2Fxx Episodes: Scene Planner

>> Music in this episode

Various people noted the following songs were played in this episode:

    - the "Fig Newton Song" by Nabisco (Homer's lullaby).  Tony Hill
      explains, "This song was a real commercial for Nabisco Fig Newtons
      used well into the 1970s.  It was sung by a man dressed as a fig
      newton."
    - "Sunshine of Your Love" by Cream (as Homer's mother sees a new
      world opening up)
    - "Along the Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix (as the hippies set up the
      bomb)
    - the theme song from "Laugh-In" (as Maggie dances)
    - "Blowing in the Wind" by Bob Dylan (Grandma and Lisa do a duet)
    - the theme song from "Dragnet" (as the FBI guys nod to each other)
    - "Ride of the Valkyries" by Richard Wagner (as Burns sits inside
      his tank)
    - "Waterloo" by ABBA (which Smithers accidentally recorded).  Tony
      Hill says this "was the first US hit for the Swedish group ABBA.
      The first person who uses this as evidence that Smithers is gay
      will be hog-tied and forced to watch `Bart's Inner Child'
      repeatedly."
      
      In the closed captioning, "Don't You Want Me Baby?" by Human
      League was listed as the song playing here; presumably it was
      overdubbed at the last minute.  While "Don't You Want Me" would
      have been funny with regards to the Smithers/Burns affair,
      "Waterloo" is surely more appropriate -- as in, "Burns will meet
      his waterloo in this conflict."

>> Closed captioning notes

Ricardo Lafaurie notes the following captioning ideosyncrasies:

    - The captioning after Homer "spoils the moment" indicates a car
      door honking, possibly signifying there's a cut joke about the
      taxi driver in that scene.
    - The "Waterloo" tune in the capture scene was a last-minute
      replacement because the captioning played "Don't You Want Me,
      Baby?"  (see above)

>> Miscellaneous notes

Tony Hill contributes the following:

    - "Steal This Book" [the book Grandma is reading on the couch] was
      written by the late 60s fugitive Abbie Hoffman.
    - The Pillsbury doughboy, whose name is Poppin' Fresh, is said to be
      the USA's best known and admired corporate icon.  In Minneapolis,
      where I live and Pillsbury is headquartered, it's always fun to
      see the doughboy in a parade or other event.
    - Jerry Rubin, Bobby Steele, and Tom Hayden were 60s radicals, the
      latter being a California politician who probably has gone
      mainstream far enough to proffer recipes.
    - Joe Friday of TV's "Dragnet" was a bachelor with no children;
      possibly the Bill and Joe portrayed were not Friday and Gannon.
    - Spiro Agnew was Vice-President of the US under Nixon from 1969 to
      1973.  He resigned after pleading no contest to criminal charges
      of corruption when he was county executive in Baltimore County,
      Maryland (which everyone knows has nothing to do with the city of
      Baltimore).  Had he not resigned, he would have become President
      when Nixon resigned the following year.  During his tenure, Spiro
      Agnew watches were a mini-fad.  The joke was, "what kind of watch
      does Mickey Mouse wear?"
      
      Ricardo Lafaurie adds Agnew "was known for his speeches attacking
      radical dissidents and the news media, and later went on to
      greatly insult all his opponents, coining the term `nattering
      nabobs of negativism'.  On October 10, 1973, he resigned because
      of charges of tax evasion, and paid a $10,000 fine."
    - The Rocking Pneumonia and Boogie Woogie Flu [two of the viruses in
      Burns' lab] was a novelty song, but I can't remember when or by
      whom.

===============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary
===============================================================================
% [Syndication cuts are marked in curly braces "{}" and are courtesy of
% Frederic Briere.]
%
% Mr. Burns, wearing a hardhat and vest, stands next to a sign
% announcing "This highway maintained by BurnsoDyne".

   Burns: Here's your caption, boys: "Local hero shuns spotlight and
          pitches in!"
Smithers: What an angle!
           [reporters take photos of Burns]
           [he throws the hardhat down with a grunt and walks away]
   Lenny: I can't believe I'm spending half my Saturday picking up
          garbage.  I mean, half these bottles aren't even mine!
   Burns: Ahem.  Let's have less _con_versation and more _san_itation.
-- Shuns spotlight in photos only, "Mother Simpson"

% The workers pick up various pieces of garbage: run over frogs,
% straitjackets, and a bird's nest.

    Carl: Hey, where's Homer?  How'd he get out of this?
   Homer: [from the top of a cliff] Hey, everybody!  Up here!
Smithers: Simpson, stop frolicking and get to work!
   Homer: Right away, Mr. Smithers.  I'll just walk across these
          slippery rocks -- aah!  [falls]
-- When frolicking goes awry, "Mother Simpson"

% Lenny and Carl narrate the action.

    Carl: Oh no!  He's going over the falls!
   Lenny: Oh good.  He snagged that tree branch.
    Carl: Oh no!  The branch broke off!
   Lenny: Oh good.  He can grab onto them pointy rocks.
    Carl: Oh no!  Them rocks broke his arms and legs.
   Lenny: Oh good.  Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him.
    Carl: Oh no!  They're biting him, and stealing his pants.
           [Homer rushes toward a dam with a giant turbine]
Smithers: Good Lord...he'll be sucked into the turbine!
           [Homer swirls around then gets sucked in]
           [the workers gasp, then bow their heads]
   Burns: [rolling down window] Smithers, who was that corpse?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, Sir.  [sniffs] One of the finest, bravest men
          ever to grace sector 7G.  [sobs]
           [in a normal voice] I'll cross him off the list.
           [at the top of the falls, Bart and Homer chuckle]
    Bart: That dummy worked like a charm, Dad.
   Homer: Best 600 bucks I ever spent.  Come on, boy: we've earned this
          Saturday, now let's make the most of it!
-- Pure genius, "Mother Simpson"

% The camera shows a pair of kites in the sky, then follows the strings
% down to Marge and Lisa flying them in the back yard.  Homer, on the
% other hand, lies in the hammock counting the number of times Bart
% hammers one of the concrete slabs that make up their back deck.
%
% The Springfield Shopper announces Homer's death and loss of pants, and
% shows photos of the four beavers who tried to rescue him.  The
% doorbell at the Simpson house rings, and Marge answers it.

Lovejoy: Marge, we can't tell you how sorry we are.
    Ned: You have our deepest condol-diddely-olences.
          [stammering] I'm sorry, I'm just nervous: I didn't mean any
         disrespect.
  Marge: What are you talking about?
    Ned: You know...Homer's passing.
          [Marge looks blankly]
         Away.
          [Marge looks blankly]
         Into death.
  Marge: What?!  [looks at paper] That's ridiculous!  Homer's not dead.
         He's right out back in the hammock.
          [they all go out back; the hammock is now empty]
    Ned: Oh, Marge, of course Homer's alive: he's alive in all our
         hearts.
  Maude: Yes, Marge -- I can see him.
   Lisa: [skipping by] Hi everybody!
Lovejoy: Marge, I'm going to give you the card of our juvenile
         counselor.
-- Tim, always helpful, "Mother Simpson"

% The front door is now surrounded with flowers and wreaths.  Once again
% the doorbell rings, and Marge answers it.

  Marge: A tombstone?!
  Patty: It came with the burial plot, but that's not important: the
         important thing is, Homer's dead.
  Selma: We've been saving for this since your wedding day.
  Marge: Get out of here, you ghouls!  [shuts door] Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
          [the power goes off] Huh?
          [Marge goes to window, sees a man cutting the lines]
         Uh, excuse me!  Sir?  I think there's been a mistake.
Workman: Oh, no, no mistake.  Your electricity's in the name of Homer J.
         Simpson, deceased.  The juice stays off until you get a job or
         a generator.  Oh, and, uh, my deepest sympathies.
          [Marge shuts the window and grunts]
  Marge: Homer?
  Homer: [walking in] That's my name.
  Marge: When I asked you if that dummy was to fake your own death, you
         told me no.  You go downtown first thing in the morning and
         straighten this out.
   Lisa: {Mom!  Dad!  Bart ran into a doorframe and bit his tongue.}
   Bart: {[lisping] What the hell's going on heah?}
-- It's just Homer faking his own death again, "Mother Simpson"

% Homer goes off to the Springfield Hall of Records to talk to the
% bureaucrats.

     Homer: Listen here: my name is Homer J. Simpson.  You guys think
            I'm dead, but I'm not.  Now I want you to straighten this
            out without a lot of your bureaucratic red tape and mumbo-
            jumbo!
Bureaucrat: [typing] OK, Mr. Simpson, I'll just make the change here...
            and you're all set.
     Homer: I don't like your attitude, you water-cooler dictator.  What
            do you have in that secret government file anyway?  I have a
            right to read it.
Bureaucrat: [spinning monitor around] You sure do.
     Homer: [reading] "Wife: Marjorie.  Children: Bartholomew, Lisa" --
            aha!  See?  This thing is all screwed up!  Who the heck is
            Margaret Simpson?
Bureaucrat: Uh, your youngest daughter.
     Homer: [mocking] "Uh, your youngest daughter".  Well how about
            this?  This thing says my mother's still alive; she died
            when I was a kid!
             [goes to window] See that stone angel up there?  That's my
            mother's grave.  My dad points it out every time we drive
            by.
Bureaucrat: Mr. Simpson, uh...maybe you should actually go up there.
-- A new idea, "Mother Simpson"

% Homer goes up and brushes the foliage out of the way of the
% inscription on the tombstone.

      Homer: Mom, I'm sorry I never come to see you.  I'm just not a
             cemetery person.  "Here lies" --
             Walt Whitman?!  Aargh!  Damn you, Walt Whitman!
              [kicking grave] I!  Hate!  You!  Walt!  Freaking!
             Whitman!  "Leaves of Grass", my ass!
             Wait a minute...maybe it's that other grave: the one that
             says "Simpson"!
              [goes over to it, sees his own name] Aaah!  Oh, why does
             my death keep coming back to haunt me?
              [falls in grave]
    Grandma: You awful, awful man!  Get out of my son's grave.
      Homer: I hate to rain on your parade, Lady, but this is _my_ grave
             -- hey, wait a minute.  Mom?
    Grandma: Homer?
              [they look at each other]
      Homer: I thought you were dead!
    Grandma: I thought _you_ were dead!
Gravedigger: {Well, dang blast it, isn't anybody in this dag gummed
             cemetery dead?}
       Hans: {[in a coffin] I didn't want to cause a fuss, but now that
             you mention it --}
-- The almost-passing of Moleman in the Morning, "Mother Simpson"

% [End of Act One.  Time: 5:17]
%
% Homer and his mother look at each other while his mother rubs his arm.

Grandma: Homer, you grew up so handsome.
  Homer: Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd.
         I can't believe you're here!  Dad always told me you died while
         I was at the movies.
Grandma: Oh, my poor baby.  You must have been so upset.  But I suppose
         Abe has his reasons.
  Homer: {Yeah.}  Well, where have you been all this time?
Grandma: It's...a very complicated story.  Let's just enjoy this moment.
  Homer: Ma, there's something you should know about me: I almost always
         spoil the moment.
          [a pelican lands on his head and spits a fish into his pants]
         I'm sorry.
Grandma: That's OK, darling: it wasn't your fault.
-- The first meeting in 27 years, "Mother Simpson"

% Homer brings his mother home to the family.

  Homer: Hey, everybody!  I've got a big surprise for you!
         Presenting...my mother!
          [everyone drops their food and talks incredulously]
Grandma: [awkward] Hello.
   Lisa: This is so weird.  It's like something out of Dickens...or
         "Melrose Place".
   Bart: Where have you been, Granny?  Did they freeze you or something?
Grandma: Oh, my, such clever grandchildren.  So full of questions and
         bright, shiny eyes.
  Marge: I don't know what to say: I finally have a mother-in-law.
          [laughs nervously] No more living vicariously through my
         girlfriends.  [laughs more, then coughs]
   Bart: Hey, since you were a no-show at all the big moments of my
         life, you owe me years of back presents: Christmases,
         birthdays, Easters, Kwanzas, good report cards --
          [grabbing a calculator] Hmm, 75 bucks a pop plus interest and
         penalties...you owe me $22,000
  Homer: I'll Kwanza you!  [strangles Bart]
Grandma: Homer, don't be so hard on little -- [whispering] what is his
         name?
-- "Mother Simpson"

% Homer takes his mother upstairs.

  Homer: This is my room, and this is my dresser.  It's where I keep my
         shirts when I'm not wearing them.
Grandma: Oh, yes, right in the drawers.
          [they both laugh]
  Homer: [sighing] You remembered.  Oh, I've missed moments like this...
         Mom.
-- Homer says an unfamiliar word, "Mother Simpson"

% Mother Simpson sits with Lisa on the front step of the house.

Grandma: I saw all your awards, Lisa.  They're mighty impressive.
   Lisa: Aw, I just keep them out to bug Bart, heh.
Grandma: [reproachful] Don't be bashful.  When I was your age, kids made
         fun of me because I read at the ninth-grade level.
   Lisa: Me too!
  Homer: [walking on his hands] Hey, Mom!  Look at me!  Look at what I
         can do!
Grandma: I see you, Homer.  That's _very_ nice.
          [to Lisa] Although I hardly consider "A Separate Peace" the
         ninth-grade level.
   Lisa: Shyeah, more like preschool.
Grandma: I hate John Knowles.
   Lisa: Me too.
          [they both laugh, then sigh]
  Homer: Mom!  You're not looking!
Grandma: You know, Lisa, I feel like I have an instant rapport with you.
   Lisa: [gasps] You didn't dumb it down!  You said "rapport".
-- Lisa shares a touching moment, "Mother Simpson"

% Suddenly, Mother looks worried, then says "Gotta run: Grandma stuff,"
% and tears inside the house.  Lisa sees a police car drive slowly by,
% and her suspicions are raised.
%
% She takes Bart downstairs to the laundry room.

Lisa: [turning on dryer] There, now no one should be able to hear us.
Bart: What?
Lisa: [turning off dryer] All right, we don't need the dryer.
Bart: What?
Lisa: Just shut up and listen!  There's something fishy about Grandma:
      whenever we ask her where she's been all this time, she changes
      the subject.  And just now, when a police car drove by, she ran
      into the house.
Bart: Yeah, I don't trust her either.  When I was going through her
      purse, look what I found!
       [hands Lisa some driver's licenses]
Lisa: [reading] Mona Simpson...Mona Stevens...Martha Stewart...Penelope
      Olsen...Muddy Mae Suggins?  These are the calling cards of a con
      artist.
-- The truth comes out, "Mother Simpson"

% Homer dances around in the bedroom

Homer: Woo hoo!  I'm so glad to have my mom back.  I never realized how
       much I missed her!
Marge: [pause] She's nice.
Homer: But...?
Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who
       abandoned you for 25 years.  You could get hurt again.
Homer: First, it wasn't 25 years -- it was 27 years.  And second, she
       had a very good reason.
Marge: Which was...?
Homer: [pause] I dunno.  I guess I was just a horrible son and no mother
       would want me.
Marge: Oh, Homey, come on.  You're a sweet, kind, loving man.  I'm sure
       you were a wonderful son!
Homer: [unhappy] Then why did she leave me?
Marge: Let's find out.
-- Yes, let's, "Mother Simpson"

% Grandma Simpson reads "Steal This Book" on the couch as the family
% approach her.

  Marge: Mother Simpson, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your
         past.
Grandma: Can't reminisce, sleeping.  [snores]
   Bart: Spill it, Muddy Mae, or we're calling the cops!
Grandma: Please don't.
   Lisa: All right, then we'll call your husband Grampa!
Grandma: No!  I'll talk.  I'll tell you everything -- I've wanted to
         tell you.
-- Good old-fashioned interrogations, "Mother Simpson"

Grandma: It all started in the 60s...
          [flash to young Homer playing "Operation"]
  Homer: "Take out wrenched ankle."
          [getting electrocuted] Mom!  Mom!  Mooom!
Grandma: [running in] Oh, my little Homey bear.  [kisses him] Time for
         bed.
  Homer: [getting in] Sing me my bedtime song, Mom.
Grandma: [singing] Ooey, gooey, rich and chewy inside,
         Golden flaky, tender caky outside,
         Wrap the inside in the outside, is it good?
  Homer: Darn tootin'.
Grandma: Doing the [with Homer] big fig newton!  Here's the tricky part.
          [Homer falls asleep]
-- A novel idea for a lullaby, "Mother Simpson"

% She walks out to where Abe is watching TV.

Grandma: Abe, isn't Homer cute?
    Abe: Probably.  I'm trying to watch the Super Bowl.  If people don't
         support this thing, it might not make it.
 Cosell: [on TV] Joe Willy Namath, swaggering off the field, his
         sideburns an apogee of sculpted sartorium -- the foppish
         follicles pioneered by Ambrose Burnside, Appomattox 1865.
          ["Sunshine of Your Love" starts playing]
Grandma: [voice over] His wild, untamed facial hair revealed a new world
         of rebellion -- of change.  A world where doors were open for
         women like me.  [music stops]
         But Abe was stuck in his button-down plastic-fantastic Madison
         Avenue scene.
    Abe: Look at them sideburns!  He looks like a girl.  Now, Johnny
         Unitas -- there's a haircut you could set your watch to.
-- Madison Avenue indeed, "Mother Simpson"

  Marge: So Mother Simpson, where did your newfound sense of
         irresponsibility take you?
Grandma: I soon found people who shared my views at the state college.
          [shot of hippies demonstrating]
  Crowd: [chanting] Anthrax, gangrene, swimmer's ear!  Get your germ lab
         out of here!
          [Grandma joins the crowd in their chant]
Grandma: [voice over] How could I _not_ become a radical when we were
         fighting a force of pure evil?
  Crowd: Hey, hey, Mr. Burns!  Enough already with the germs!
  Burns: [in a window above] Ho, their flower power is no match for my
         glower power!  [glowers]
          [the crowd disperses]
 Wiggum: [below, guarding the doors] Well that's some nice glowering,
         Mr. B.
-- Some things never change, "Mother Simpson"

Grandma: [voice over] We'd met the enemy and it was Montgomery Burns.
         Drastic action _had_ to be taken to stop his war machine!
          [in flashback] I put Homer to bed, Abe, and now I'm going out.
         It could be a late night -- I'm meeting my destiny.
    Abe: [not turning around] So long.
          ["Along the Watchtower" plays while the hippies set up a bomb
         inside Burns' lab]
 Hippie: When this baby goes off, Burns' lab is going to be history, man
         -- germ history!  [laughs] Oh man, I got the munchies.
-- It hasn't been years since _he's_ seen a bong, "Mother Simpson"

% When the Spiro Agnew clock's alarm starts ringing, the bomb releases
% antibiotics into the air, killing all of Burns' nasty germs.  Wiggum
% runs from the cloud of gas.

 Wiggum: [gasping, panting] No...no!  Wait a minute --
          [tries breathing] Bronchial tubes clearing...asthma
         disappearing!  Acne remains, but...asthma disappearing.
          [an alarm bell goes off]
  Burns: [running toward the building] My germs, my precious germs!
         They never harmed a soul.  They never even had a chance!
         Whoever did this will never get past me --
          [the crowd of hippies runs out the door and tramples him]
Grandma: [going back] You poor man...let me help you up.
          [she does so; Burns sees her and smiles]
  Burns: _You_ just made a very big mistake.  You'll spend the rest of
         your life in pri --
          [Wiggum slams the door open and crushes Burns behind it]
 Wiggum: My asthma's gone!  Listen to me breathe --
          [snorts] Waaah!  [snorts] Waaah!
-- We'd rather not, thanks, "Mother Simpson"

         [Grandma runs from Mr. Burns and Wiggum]
Grandma: [voice over] From that moment on, my life as I knew it was
         over.
   Kent: [on TV] Only one member of the Springfield Seven was
         identified.  She's been described as a woman in her early 30s,
         yellow complexion, and may be extremely helpful.  For Channel
         Six News, I'm Kenny Brockelstein.
          [she walks into young Homer's room and looks at him sleeping]
Grandma: Homer...[kisses him, weeps] I'm sorry.
          [walks out]
  Homer: [in the present] I thought I dreamed that kiss.
  Marge: I'm so sorry I misjudged you, Mom.  You had to leave to protect
         your family!
   Lisa: {How did you survive?}
Grandma: {Oh, I had help from my friends in the underground.  Jerry
         Reuben gave me a job marketing his line of health shakes, I
         proofread Bobby Seale's cookbook, and I ran credit checks at
         Tom Hayden's Porsche dealership.}
-- Lucrative underground business dealings, "Mother Simpson"

  Homer: {Wait a minute...} there's one thing I don't understand.  In
         all those years, why didn't you ever try to contact me?
Grandma: But I did!  I sent you a care package every week.
  Homer: Aw, come on, Mom, we use that same line on the kids when
         they're at camp.
Grandma: But I did, I really did!  I'll prove it to you.
          [they go to the post office]
  Homer: Any undelivered mail for Homer J. Simpson?
    Man: No.  Oh wait, this.  [lifts huge sack of parcels] That's what
         happens when you don't tip your letter carrier at Christmas.
-- A valuable life lesson, "Mother Simpson"

% Mr. Burns mails a letter at another wicket.

Burns: Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in
       Siam by aeromail.  Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
  Kid: Uh, I better look in the manual.
Burns: [groans] Oh, the ignorance.
        [sees Homer and Grandma walking out]
       Wait a minute, I know that woman.  But from when?  And in what
       capacity?
        [spies "Wanted" posted with Grandma's young picture on it]
        [gasps] It's her.  At last!
  Kid: This book must be out of date: I don't see "Prussia", "Siam", or
       "autogyro".
Burns: Well, keep looking!
        [he turns back, and she's gone]
-- So close, "Mother Simpson"

% [End of Act Two.  Time: 15:13]
%
% In Burns' office, Joe Friday and Bill Gannon interview Burns about the
% incident.

  Friday: Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the post office?
   Burns: Absolutely!  Who could forget such a monstrous visage?  She
          has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career
          criminal.
Smithers: Uh, Sir?  Phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago.
   Burns: Of course you'd say that...you have the brainpan of a
          stagecoach tilter!
  Gannon: At any rate, the FBI will track down this mystery woman and
          put her behind bars.
           [he and Friday walk out]
          {How does it happen, Joe?}
  Friday: {How does what happen?}
  Gannon: {How does a sweet young lady mortgage her future for a bunch
          of scraggly ideals and greasy-haired promises?}
  Friday: {Maybe she thought the war in southeast Asia was so immoral,
          her end justified the means.}
  Gannon: {Gee, Joe, you haven't been the same since your son went crazy
          in Vietnam.}
  Friday: {It's a pain that never ends.}
-- The "Dragnet" theme plays, "Mother Simpson"

% At home, Lisa jams on her sax with Granny on the guitar.

Grandma: [singing] How many roads must a man walk down before you can
         call him a man?
  Homer: Seven!
   Lisa: No, Dad, it's a rhetorical question.
  Homer: Rhetorical, eh?  Eight!
   Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
  Homer: [incredulous] Do I know what "rhetorical" means?!
-- Apparently, "Mother Simpson"

         [the doorbell rings]
   Bart: [gasps] Quick, Grandma, hide!
          [Marge closes the curtains]
          [someone pounds on the door, then manages to open it]
    Abe: No door is going to keep me from my meddling!  Stand up
         straight, Bart.
Grandma: [tentative] Abe?
    Abe: [in shock] What the -- [stammers] Now here's a piece of bad
         news.
Grandma: Oh, Abe, you've aged _terribly_.
    Abe: What do you expect?  You left me to raise the boy on my own!
Grandma: I _had_ to leave!  But you didn't have to tell Homer I was
         dead!
    Abe: It was either that, or tell him his mother was a wanted
         criminal!  You were a rotten wife, and I never, _ever_ forgive
         you!  [pause] Can we have sex?  Please?
Grandma: [disgusted] Oh, Abe.
    Abe: Well, I tried!  What's for supper?
-- Cutting his losses, "Mother Simpson"

% Friday and Gannon interview a cab driver.

Cabbie: Yeah, I might have seen her.
Gannon: [typing] Well, according to our computer aging program, she
        should look about...
         [turns screen around; it has a giant "25" on it] 25 years
        older.
Cabbie: Yeah, I seen her!  That is to say, I saw her.
-- Correcting his grammar, "Mother Simpson"

% Grandma Simpson shows the kids how to tie die shirts.  Bart puts one
% on.

   Bart: Look at me, Grandma: I'm a hippy!  Peace man, groovy!  Bomb
         Vietnam!  Four more years!  Up with people!  [runs off]
   Lisa: You know, Grandma, I used to think that I was adopted.  I
         couldn't understand how I fit into this family.  Now that I met
         you, I suddenly make a lot of sense.  [hugs her]
Grandma: I'm so glad to see the spirit of the 60s is still alive in you
         kids.
          [camera shows Maggie dancing to the "Laugh-In" theme with a
         "Ban the bottle" slogan painted on her stomach]
-- "Mother Simpson"

% The FBI guys interview the gravedigger.

Gravedigger: Yep, I saw her.  That is to say, I seen her.  She seemed
             like a nice lady.
      Burns: Well, that nice lady set the cause of biological warfare
             back thirty years!
   Smithers: We're only now finally caught up.
-- Boo hoo, "Mother Simpson"

Gravedigger: Two more ladies come by earlier that day.  One was real
             pretty, t'other, sort of plain.
              [the FBI guys, Burns, and Smithers go to the Bouvier
             sisters' house]
     Friday: Ma'am, we're going to need your assistance in locating this
             individual.
      Selma: [giggling] Oh, I'm fresh.  Don't you want to play "Good
             cop, bad cop"?
     Friday: Ma'am, we're all good cops.
      Selma: I had no intention of playing the good cops.
      Burns: Ew.  Look, we know you bought the tombstone, we know the
             fugitive visited that tombstone.  Whose tombstone was it?
      Patty: Just lift up your coffee cups and see.
              [they see Homer's tombstone]
   Smithers: Good Lord!
     Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh.  Uh, better start
             with Greektown.
     Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief.  You're reading it upside
             down.
     Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB.  But, uh, bring back some of them, uh,
             giros.
     Friday: Uh, Chief?  You're talking into your wallet.
-- Joe Friday's sharp eye, "Mother Simpson"

% The newly reassembled Simpson family eats dinner.

    Lisa: Grandma, have you ever thought about moving back to
          Springfield?
   Homer: You could live with Grampa again.
           [everyone, including Abe, laughs]
     Abe: Oh, I'm a living joke.
 Grandma: You know, Lisa, [phone rings] it might be nice to rest for a
          while.
           [Homer answers it, then leans into the doorway]
   Homer: Mom?  There's nothing to be alarmed about, but...could you
          take one last look at the family and join me in the kitchen?
           [outside, a tank and a police car pull up]
   Burns: [in the tank] I've been waiting 25 years for this moment.
           [puts on a tape of "Ride of the Valkyries"]
           [it turns into "Waterloo" by ABBA]
Smithers: I'm sorry, Sir, I must have taped over that.
-- A minor oversight, "Mother Simpson"

% The family look alarmed at the sound of the music.  The tank breaks
% open the front door.

  Friday: Freeze.  FBI: the jig is up.
     Abe: All right, I admit it: I am the Lindbergh baby.  Waah!  Waah!
          Goo goo.  I miss my fly-fly dada.
  Friday: Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?
     Abe: A little from column A, a little from column B.
Smithers: [panting] Sir!  She's gone.
           [Burns groans]
           [in a remote location in the Springfield badlands]
 Grandma: We made it, Homer!
   Homer: It's all thanks to our anonymous tipster.
           [into the phone] But who are you?  And why did you tip us
          off?
  Wiggum: [on phone] Well, it's 'cause of your old lady that I got rid
          of my asthma that was keeping me out of the academy.
   Homer: Thanks.
  Wiggum: Sure.  Just think of me as an anonymous friend who rose
          through the ranks of the Springfield police to become Chief
          Clancy Wig --
   Homer: [hanging up] Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak!
-- Impatience is a virtue, "Mother Simpson"

% Homer bids his final goodbyes to his mother.

Grandma: Well, there's my ride.  The underground awaits.
  Homer: [sniffles] At least this time, I'm awake for your goodbye.
Grandma: [sniffles] Oh.  Remember, whatever happens, you have a mother,
         and she's truly proud of you.
          [they hug]
 Hippie: Oh!  Hurry up, man.  This electric van only has twenty minutes
         of juice left!
          [Grandma walks into the van]
  Homer: Don't forget me!
Grandma: Don't worry, Homer: you'll always be a part of me.
          [hits her head on doorframe] D'oh!
-- And how!, "Mother Simpson"

% She closes the door and drives off.  Homer watches the van leave, then
% sits on the hood of his car until nightfall, staring contemplatively
% at the stars.
%
% [End of Act Three.  Time: 21:22]
%
% The closing theme is more somber and placid than usual, with the
% melody played by a flute.
===============================================================================
> Contributors
===============================================================================
   {dga} Dale Abersold
   {ddg} Don Del Grande
   {dh}  Dominik Halas
   {dh2} Dave Hall
   {th}  Tony Hill
   {rl}  Ricardo Lafaurie
   {hl}  Haynes Lee
   {al}  Adam Lipkin
   {jp}  Jussi Pakkanen
   {mp}  Michael Petri
   {br}  Bob Roberds
   {av}  Aaron Varhola
   {dy}  Doug Yovanovich
===============================================================================
This episode summary is Copyright 1997 by James A. Cherry.  Not to be
redistributed in a public forum without permission.  (The quotes
themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the
reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors.  I'm
just taking credit for the compilation.)