What is the Dreaded Rear Admiral?

Message by James Cherry
Summary: Finally, what a rear admiral really is

OK, so everyone was asking what the hell a rear admiral was.  It was
first mentioned in 1F04, last year's hallowe'en special.

>    Bart: Milhouse...Milhouse, wake up, quick!  Look out the window.
>Milhouse: No way, Bart.  If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies,
>          wet willies, or even the dreaded rear-admiral!
>-- Covering his ass, so to speak, "Treehouse of Horror IV"

Bill Oakley, who _wrote_ that part of the script with Josh Weinstein,
emailed me the definitive answer as to what a rear admiral is.

>Regarding "Rear Admiral,"  I think the answer is probably as
>disappointing as you feared it might be:  it doesn't exist.  Here is
>the actual first draft script excerpt from the Halloween show:
>        BART
>Milhouse.  Milhouse, wake up.  Quick, look out the window.
>        MILHOUSE
>No way, Bart.  If I lean over and put my face against the window,
>you're gonna smash it, or maybe pinch my butt real hard.
>This was the first draft.  In re-writing it, the writers wanted to go
>for something a little funnier, something that would sound like it was
>from the family of "flying wedgie," "purple nurple," etc.  Someone, I
>do not remember who, said "Rear Admiral."  It sounds real, having the
>word "rear" in it, but it was manufactured to sound real.  As far as we
>know, it doesn't really exist.

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Last updated on May 10, 1998 by Gary Goldberg (