If Itchy & Scratchy did Monty Python

Maintained by Haynes Lee
  • Itchy plays the "Bells of St. Mary" on Scratchy with each body part tuned to fixed pitch scream.

  • Scratchy comes up to the Bridge of Death and Itchy asks him what is his favorite color.

  • Itchy tells Scratchy the world's funniest joke.

  • A suicide bag-pipe Itchy comes up to Scratchy.

  • Itchy slaps Scratchy with a large fish/rubber chicken.

  • Itchy grinds Scratchy into processed meat for spam sketch.

  • Itchy subjects Scratchy to the rack, fluffy pillows, and the comfy chair.

  • To demonstrate self-defense, Itchy asks Scratchy to attack him with a banana and then shoots him.

  • Itchy feeds a rotund Scratchy until he explodes. {al}

  • Itchy chops off all of Scratchy's limbs in sword fight. {al}

  • Itchy crucifies Scratchy. {awl}

  • Itchy beats Scratchy (as Mary, Queen of Scots) to death. {al}

  • Itchy removes Scratchy's liver. {al}

  • A topless Itchy chases Scratchy off a cliff. {al}

  • Itchy strangles Scratchy (as John Denver). }al}

  • Itchy covers Scratchy in chocolate and markets him as 'Crunchy Cat'. {11}

  • Itchy invites Scratchy to dinner, serves salmon mousse.

  • Itchy puts on suspenders and a bra, mistakes Scratchy for mighty Scots Pine. {11}

  • Scratchy goes 'voom' if you shove 4000 volts through him.

  • Itchy confuses Scratchy to death. {11}

  • Itchy hits Scratchy with fish, knocks him into vat of acid

  • Driving a car, Itchy crushed by giant Scratchy. {11}

  • Itchy and 2 other mice come in dressed as The Spanish Inquisition, and proceed to bore Scratchy to death by telling him how they plan on killing him, etc. {mk}

  • Itchy (dressed as medieval knight) beats Scratchy with chicken. {km}

  • Itchy brings Scratchy's corpse in a bag to an undertaker. Tells undertaker he wants to eat Scratchy. Outraged Simpsons fans invade set and stop sketch.

  • Principal Skinner interrupts sketch because it's too silly. Itchy and Scratchy cuts off his head.

  • Scratchy on a cross county bike tour. Itchy trips his bike in various places.

  • Itchy throws Scratchy out of a zeppelin.

  • Scratchy joins a covert group of cats who dress up as mice. Itchy comes in dressed as the farmer's wife and chops off their heads with a carving knife.

  • Itchy sells Scratchy a foreign phrase book full of ethnic slurs.

  • Itchy sells Scratchy a box of chocolates containing the flavors 'crunchy frog', 'anthrax ripple', and 'spring surprise'.

  • Itchy while lighting match, farts in Scratchy's general direction.

  • Man pulling cart saying "bring out your dead".
    Itchy drags out Scratchy.
    Scratchy says "I'm not dead yet".
    Itchy finishes him off with an axe.

  • A bleeding Scratchy sings about his corpsucles.

  • Itchy and Scratchy demonstrate the act of homicide before a class of schoolboys.

  • Scratchy is the Black Knight, gets dismembered.
This list is getting too silly...

{11} some compuserve dude
{al} Adam W. Long
{km} Kieran Murphy
{mk} mainiak920

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Last updated on December 10, 2000 by Haynes Lee (