The Simpsons Arcade Game

   Bart: Age: 10
         Alias: El Barto / The Bartman
         Voice balloon:  "Yo, man!"
         Hobbies: Instigating disobedience.

  Homer: Alias: Home Boy / Home Dude
         Voice balloon: "D'oh!"
         Hobbies: Bowlin' a big one.

   Lisa: Age: 7
         Alias:  Moaning Lisa
         Voice balloon:  "Embrace nothingness!"
         Hobbies: Wailing on her saxophone.

  Marge: Age: 34
         Alias: Mom
         Voice balloon:  "Play friendly, everyone!!"
         Hobbies: Making tasty gelatin desserts.

 Maggie: Age: 1
         Alias: The Baby
         No voice balloon.  Instead, "Suck!  Suck!" effects.

HTMLized November 17, 1995 by Dave Hall

Arcade Game Review

The Enemies

1. Keep pounding on individuals

2. Handle groups with attack retreat tactics

3. Watch for traps.

Enemy Rundown

Basic Goon

Fat Thug

Themed Enemies

Downtown Springfield

Fireman

Krustyland

Krusty Imposter

Bongo

Teacups

Springfield Cemetery

Sheet Ghost

Zombie

Springfield Park

Lumberjack

Homerbear

Dreamworld

Saxophones

Donuts

Bart Imps

Radiation Suits

Studios

Ninjas

Bosses

Wrestler

Krusty Blimp

Dynamic Duo

Drunk

Bear

Bowling Ball

Robot

Smithers

Burns

The Heroes

Homer

Weapon: Ole� Slugger

You usually couldn�t count Homer to be up for an adventure unless beer or donuts are involved. Yet, when the nefarious Smithers snatched his youngest daughter our very own bumbling oafish patriarch made the instantaneous conversion from couch tomato to bon fida fighter, a true accomplishment all to itself. Of course the fact that he doesn�t know that fighting is a form of exercise can�t hurt. A true trencherman, Homer just loves to wade into groups of enemies and slug it out with only his bare fists, which oddly enough may be the only sort of weapon easy enough for him to learn. You can keep your edumicacion� Homer knows all he�ll need to defeat Burns is a little hard work and courage. Now if he could only bribe someone else to do it.

Homer Specials

Special Caption: Unknown

There�s a lot to be done out there and everybody knows Homer isn�t gonna do it all himself. So every once in a while he gets the opportunity to team up with another member of the family to wreak some serious damage.

Homer + Marge: Wheelbarrel

Who needs a wheel barrel? With this wild rendezvous our two lovebirds can hurtle and knock down scores of opponents in a few crazy seconds.

Homer+Bart: Unknown

Homer+Lisa: Unknown

Bart

Weapon: The Faithful Skateboard

Bart Simpson, need we say more? Springfield�s own ten year old menace is back for another escapade ready to paint the town red and wreak his very own patented brand of chaos on the unsuspecting SNPP goons. We all know El Barto is a solid fighter and a favorite choice among players, but using his cherished skateboard as both transportation and a weapon he can become a veritable whirlwind of destruction. Add that on to a crew cut and we have a guy almost too cool for your average game. Though always an unstable rogue, Bart makes a valuable if unlikely additional to the forces of good.

Bart Specials

Bart may prefer playing solo hombre but he�s not above calling in the big guns in a particularly sticky situation. Teaming up with various other family members he can try out several different weird and wacky combos to psyche out the opponent all the while inflicting several times more damage then when alone. Don�t get him wrong though, Bart may enjoy a good double team fight but he wouldn�t be caught dead in any �family activity�. That sort of stuff�s bound to start rumors.

Bart+ Homer: Unknown

Bart+ Marge: Bart hops on Marge�s shoulders and knocks down enemies with his skateboard.

Bart+ Lisa: Red Rover

A very amusing special; the kids link hands and dash madly about the screen clothes lining opponents as they go. In a rare show of civility badman Bart can join up with his sister for a devastating special that can knock opponents down with frightening speed.

Lisa

Weapon: Jump rope

Though the smartest girl in Springfield abhors violence in any form the thought of Maggie in Burns� vile clutches is enough to make Lisa forsake the pacifist�s ways and take up her trusty jump rope in the name of justice! As a staunch feminist Lisa�s eager to prove herself every bit as capable of taking on Smithers� minions as any man in the family (Yah! Take that you male chauvinist pigs.). And why not? With all the same basic moves speed and jump power comparable to other members Lisa�s definitely indispensable not only for words of wisdom but also for her fighting prowess.

Lisa Specials

Although her dreams of global harmony have yet to come to fruition they can be partially realized in the mutual respect and cooperation needed to pull of her specials. By discarding the shackles of hate and prejudice that cloud the true spirit of mankind Lisa can join together with family to triumph over the unfeeling Montgomery Burns. Maybe, just maybe someday in the future she can take the values learned from these collaborations and apply them in life to help her vision of tolerance and foresight manifest to reality.

Lisa+Homer: Unknown

Lisa+Marge: Unknown

Lisa+Bart: Red Rover

Every advocate of justice needs a break from the worries of world conflict. While she�s not demanding universal equality one of Lisa�s favorite pastimes is to join with her brother and run headlong into battle mowing down entire groups of opponents.

Marge

Weapon: Discount Vacuum Cleaner

Ever the voice of caution Marge rounds out our fighting family by providing gentle guidance and compassion, while also making sure no villainous henchmen are roughed up too badly. She�s even brought her vacuum along to make sure a mother�s duty of keeping her community clean of both dirt and evil never goes neglected. The fighting ought stay sensible and a fresh change of clothes must be ready whenever the need calls. If Marge doesn�t do it, who will?

Marge Specials

One of the foremost things on a mother�s mind is to find ways of getting her family to work together. Why not make the best of a bad situation and cooperate while fighting? Marge has cooked up a variety of signature specials that make teamwork both useful and fun!

Marge+Homer: You�ve gotta give Marge credit. Homer�s rather��elegant� size makes anything involving dexterity a trial in patience. He has however, managed to put his finger on this hilarious move that�ll have the star struck couple racing through Springfield with blinding speed wheelbarrow style.

Marge+Bart: Unknown

Marge+Lisa: Unknown

Maggie

Grandpa

How to get it

Summary

System Requirements

Players

Players may choose to be Marge, Homer, Bart, or Lisa. Marge attacks by swinging her vacuum cleaner, Homer punches, Bart does wheelies on his skateboard, and Lisa uses her jumprope as a whip. All four characters can also jump up in the air and land on enemies as well.

When a player runs out of energy, they fall down exhausted into what looks like a beach chair, and lose a life. A new character in a superhero costume flies onto the scene (e.g. Marge in a "Wonder Woman" sort of outfit), and play resumes.

Attract Mode

High Scores

Game Play

Level 1: Downtown Springfield

Play takes place on Main Street in downtown Springfield. Players are confronted by numerous tall men in purple suits (2 hits defeat them) and a few fat guys in pink suits (3 hits). Along the way, players also encounter two firefighters with water cannons that look vaguely like Chief Wiggum. Sights along Main street: Springfield Jewelers, the Rusty Barnacle restaurant, Noiseland Video Arcade (with a poster in the window for "Simpsons- New Game"), the Springfield Pet Shop, and the Springfield Fire Department. At the end of the level, Sherri (or Terri) walks by with a hamburger that gives the player who eats it additional energy, then the players confront a wrestler (Rasputin, the Friendly Russian?) on a bridge to end the level. Once the wrestler is defeated, the players jump for joy as Smithers floats by with Maggie in a Krusty hot air balloon.

Bonus Level: Players race to inflate a balloon of their character's head using a pump. First one done earns an extra life.

Level 2: Krustyland Amusement Park

In the Krustyland Amusement Park, players again battle the pink- and purple-suited enemies, as well as a couple of Krusty's balancing on large beach balls. (Hit the Krusty's three times, and they fall over, revealing that they are actually a bad guy in a Krusty costume.) Otto and Dr. Marvin Monroe are manning concession stands. At two points, Santa's Little Helper runs by, and you can pick him up and throw him at the bad guys. Milhouse walks by carrying a mallet you can take from him to whomp the bad guys. (Once you take the mallet, it's yours until you pick up something else or lose the rest of the current life you are on.) Then you face four pink guys in tricky spinning teacups, and some purple suited guys that throw their hats at you Oddjob-style. There's a Homer-esque gorilla in a cage in the background who will knock you over if you stand too close. Near the end of the level, you will have to defeat three Binky's (actually, more bad guys in Binky suits) that appear from doorways near the fun house, and more mallet wielding pink guys before Sherri brings you another burger. Then, you face off against a giant floating Krusty balloon that tries to smash you between its arms. Hit it twenty times and it explodes, blowing a hole in the boardwalk and dropping you down into the bushes below.

Level 3: Springfield Discount Cemetery

Hot on the heels of Smithers, you drop down into the cemetery. More purple guys, including a few carrying Molotov cocktails or umbrellas, and a couple of guys hanging from the trees as ghosts. Then you get into the graveyard and have to battle several sets of zombies that look like Mr. Burns. At one point, you can pick up a slingshot that fires about 10 rocks before disappearing. Beat all the zombies, and the crypt opens up, allowing you to enter . . .

Level 4: Moe's Tavern

Right at the beginning of this level, you have to defeat two bad guys. One, which looks like Bart in an oversized suit, sits on the shoulders of the other one (perhaps a much slimmer Homer, also in an oversized suit), and is occasionally flung at the players on the end of a long string. Hit them enough times and they separate, allowing you to polish them off individually. Then you're into Moe's proper (or at least an upscale version of Moe's.) Posters for Princess Kashmir and "Bart Tracy" hang on the wall as you go after more purple and pink guys, including some purple guys with brooms that can knock you over from a distance. Moe is talking on the phone behind the bar. Nearing the end of the level, you see several small pool tables (one with another slingshot on it), a roulette wheel, and arcade games in the background including a Simpsons arcade machine (complete with four coin slots and four joysticks). At the end of the level, you duke it out with a punk rock-ish character that looks like a bald Mrs. Botz, who breathes fire and can knock you over (or scorch you) with her breath. Knock her unconscious and you jump for joy before walking off.

Level 5: Springfield Butte

Smithers is on the run and tosses Maggie into a "floaty" in the river. In hot pursuit, you traverse the ledges, caves, and waterfalls of the cliffs of Springfield. There are more purple and pink guys here, as well as a couple of Homer-Bigfoots to contend with. At one point, Nelson walks by with a slingshot you can take from him, and you can also pick up Blinky, the three-eyed fish to throw at someone. Crossing over a waterfall, you come to a plateau where two strange looking cowboys (?) attempt to hit you with telephone poles. Sideshow Bob walks by with a turkey on a cart that you can eat for more strength. You can also pick up Snowball 2 (who is yellow for some reason) to throw at your enemies. The last obstacle is a giant grizzly bear who frequently rolls up in a ball and bowls you over. Hit him enough times and he flees while Maggie floats by on the river. You follow her, only to tumble over the waterfall and land unconscious, with the rest of the family, on the riverbank. Then it's on to . . .

Level 6: Dreamland

In a nighttime world in the clouds, as a Krusty-like crescent moon looks on, the players battle some nasty donuts (with arms and legs), phantom clouds that look like Marge and knock the players over with their hair, flying saxophones, radiation suits that continue after you even when you knock their heads off, and a handful of flying "Bart Demons" that fire lightning at you. Learning to jump is essential to taking care of the saxophones and demons. The final battle is against a large, angry bowling ball. Hit it ten times and it grows arms to try and grab you, hit it ten more times and it grows legs to try and jump on you. Ten more hits and it scatters into colored balls, and you're done. (Watch for Springfield Elementary and the Simpson house in the background.)

Bonus Level: Wake yourself up from the dream by smacking yourself in the face with a gloved hand. First character awake gets and extra life. Then there is a brief animation of the family looking on in shock as a helicopter (presumably with Smithers in it) descends onto the studios of Channel 6.

Level 7: Channel 6

Inside the studios of Channel 6, there are more pink- and purple suits. In the background, an announcer (it doesn't look like Brockman, though) sits at an anchor desk in front of a graphic that reads "Missing Maggie Simpson"). There's also a King Kong cutout in the background, among other things. Eventually, you come to a soundstage of an orange lunar surface. Wander onto the set, and you'll have to defeat a large robot that shoots laser beams at you. Smash the robot to pieces and continue on, only to be confronted by a band of ninjas that hurl throwing stars or nunchuks at you. (Ah, yes, ninjas. Now we're into familiar arcade territory.) Defeat them all and you get to the final enemy, an Eskimo-ish looking person with a pikestaff who bounces around on one foot. Knock him silly, and you're onto the final battle at . . .

Level 8: Springfield Nuclear Power Plant

Smithers descends in the purple "Krusty Toys" helicopter and runs into the plant. You follow behind, walking down the hallways of the plant (no enemies here, you just automatically walk) and into Mr. Burns' office. There, Smithers flits around, spreading bombs that explode if you get too close. Hit Smithers a few times, and he's knocked unconscious. Suddenly, the back wall crumbles and out steps: Mr. Burns in a giant robotic radiation suit. Smack Burns a few times and you knock the legs off his suit, but he grows tank treads and continues fighting, now firing missiles at you. Keep at him, and his treads blow up, but he grows a hovercraft cushion and continues. Hit him some more, and you start to crack the helmet area of his suit, and eventually break it open to reveal Burns on some sort of bulldozer-type machine. Continue bashing him, and eventually you knock him out. Burns stands there helplessly as Maggie appears at last.

Then there's an animation of Maggie putting a pacifier in the mouth of an unconscious, prone, slack-jawed Burns. Next is a picture of the reunited family with a pulsating, multi-colored background. Then we see the family from behind, walking along a moving sidewalk in the hills above Springfield, as the lights of the city twinkle below. Credits for the game appear in the sky, although the names of just about everyone involved in the game defy simple pronunciation. The last credit "Thank You for Playing" appears, and the family starts to shrink into the distance, but Homer turns, winks, and flips a diamond over his shoulder.

That's it. Game Over. It doesn't matter if you were on your last legs had 4 more lives left. You're done.

Sound

Tips

Level 1: Ends at 67 points.
Level 2: Ends at 178 points.
Level 3: Ends at 269 points.
Level 4: First bad guys defeated at 284 points, level ends at 395 points.
Level 5: Ends at 491 points.
Level 6: Ends at 633 points.
Level 7: Robot destroyed at 691 points, Eskimo killed at 749 points.
Level 8: Burns defeated at 839 points, game ends.

Other observations

In almost every level, there is a tree that you can hit, causing two apples to fall. Eat them to gain more energy.

The mallet is the ultimate butt-kicking weapon, delivering the effect of two hits each time it is used on someone (thus dispatching purple guys in one blow and cutting the time it takes to kill final enemies in half). Don't pass up a chance to get it, and if your life is running low when a mallet is nearby, you might want to sacrifice yourself so you can grab it with a full life instead. Mallets are available in Levels 2 and 5. The slingshots are also good, but have limited ammo. Avoid picking up anything else (rocks, soda cans, Santa's Little Helper) while carrying a weapon, as you can't get it back afterwards.

The toughest parts of the game (to me anyway) are the pink guys in teacups on Level 2, the bear on Level 5, much of Level 6, and of course, Mr. Burns on Level 8. My advice on each of these:

Teacups: Make sure you get the mallet from Milhouse. Stay away from the enemies, and use your jumping prowess to get near them. Bring down the mallet as you get near the end of your jump. If you play the angle right, one hit from the mallet will take care of them.

Bear: Stick and move. Knock the bear down near the top of the screen, and while he's recovering, move directly down. Hit him again, move up, and repeat. Don't stay on his horizontal level, otherwise he'll roll over you. If you stay fairly aligned vertically with him, you can minimize the damage he'll do.

Level 6: To defeat the donuts, find the areas where you can walk into little "alcoves" in the clouds (e.g. the area just to the left of the Springfield Elementary sign) using the "up" key. Stand there, face the open area, and just fire away. Wait for the donuts to walk into your line of fire. This minimizes their ability to get to you. To get the saxophones and demons, just jump as high as you can, fly to the opposite side of the screen, and keep pressing your fire button. Repeat back and forth 'til they're all gone.

Burns: This just takes persistence and a lot of time and energy. Stay near the top of the screen and try to chase him into a corner. Then just pound away. He's not tremendously mobile, and will stay at about the same horizontal level. If he escapes behind you, jump to him, and continue.

Happy Playing!

Brian Bergevin (co-counsel to Lionel Hutz)
May 26, 1998