The Simpsons Archive's Simpsons Syndication Cuts Guide Season Fourteen (2002-2003) "Syndication... is there anything they can't do?" 23 Jun 2008 Maintained by Matt Garvey Guide created by Frederic Briere Contributions from Chad Lehman and Tim Reardon [=========================[Season Fourteen Summary]=========================] Story cut episodes: DABF22, EABF01, EABF06, EABF09, EABF10, EABF11, EABF12, EABF13, EABF15, EABF17. Compressed episodes: All episodes were compressed. Expanded episode: EABF06. Changed content: DABF21, EABF08, EABF13, EABF14, EABF15. Total time cut: 2:05 (2 min 5 sec) Story time cut: 1:36 (1 min 36 sec) Total time gained: 11:26 (11 min 26 sec) Notes: As with season 13, the season 14 episodes in which the opening was edited for syndication have the "voiceless intro." These are EABF14, EABF15, and EABF16 (and if this trend persists, I might move this list to the header). In these openings, the only sound until the couch gag is music: no "The Simp-sons," no sound effects like car noises or Maggie being scanned, no sounds from Homer in the driveway. Also like season 13, there are no TV ratings in the corner of the screen for any episodes (even EABF12, which got a TV-14 on its network runs). ==[ DABF19 ]=================================== Treehouse of Horror XIII === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 67 seconds 21:18 / 22:25 Original Halloween opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (0:03) 1:04 / 1:07 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:25) 7:43 / 8:08 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:20) 5:59 / 6:19 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:19) 5:44 / 6:03 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ DABF22 ]=========================== How I Spent My Strummer Vacation === CUTS: 4 seconds GAINED: 69 seconds 21:17 / 22:26 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:21) 5:47 / 6:08 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:33) 8:21 / 8:54 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:04> (0:15) 5:54 / 6:09 Marge: I'm so proud of you, Homie! <0:04> % It's like you're Kid Rock, and I'm Pamela Anderson Lee Rock! The crowd cheers for Homer to go on. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:53 / 0:53 ! The original Fox broadcast went to text credits and a smaller, ! full-ratio box for the behind-the-scenes footage (except maybe for ! satellite/international broadcasts?); in syndication, for this ! section, the left half of the screen is squeezed yellow-on-black ! MG-style credits, and the right half is a cropped version of the ! footage (a 2:3 ratio instead of 4:3), so more was actually shown on ! Fox. This is not what happened with CABF12; go figure. ==[ DABF20 ]========================== Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 2 seconds 21:17 / 21:19 Original opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 1:29 / 1:29 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 7:22 / 7:22 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 6:07 / 6:07 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:02) 5:31 / 5:33 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ DABF18 ]================================================ Large Marge === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 28 seconds 21:18 / 21:46 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:09) 6:52 / 7:01 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:10) 7:06 / 7:16 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:09) 6:10 / 6:19 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ DABF21 ]============================================= Helter Shelter === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 27 seconds 21:19 / 21:46 Original opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:29 / 0:29 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:08) 5:59 / 6:07 ! From the Simpsons Curse Quick Edit File: Guy: It comes with % Lee Marvin's + James Coburn's picture on the bottle! ! The real line uses James Coburn's name and likeness; however, on ! November 18, 2002, Coburn died, so for the December 1 premiere the ! gag was hastily changed (the difference in voice quality is clear). ! But for subsequent broadcasts, and in syndication, the original line ! and picture were used. Consider James Coburn to be the correct man. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:14) 9:18 / 9:32 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:05) 4:45 / 4:50 * Compression ends once they're out of the Amazon, but picks up again * when the credits start rolling. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF01 ]================================== The Great Louse Detective === CUTS: 25 seconds GAINED: 65 seconds 21:20 / 22:25 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:25 / 0:25 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:25> (0:38) 5:11 / 5:49 Homer: Don't struggle! You'll only sink faster! % In a yoga room, a man instructs the participants (including Marge). % % Man: Roll your eyes back into your head, focusing on your % breathing. You should feel a pleasant tingling. % "Yes" guy: Oooh, I _do_, I _do_! % <0:25> % The camera pans out to show that Marge is bending backward and her % hair is rubbing his behind. % % Man: Now, get down on all fours with your rear in the air... % Marge: [doing it] What position is this? % Man: [Carsonesque] The American taxpayer! The...American... % taxpayer. [swings an imaginary golf club] % Marge: [thoughtfully] Hmmm... Exterior shot of Homer's steam room. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:15) 7:17 / 7:32 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:12) 7:39 / 7:51 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF02 ]=============================================== Special Edna === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:18 / 21:50 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:15) 8:46 / 9:01 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:09) 6:00 / 6:09 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:08) 5:22 / 5:30 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ! The bit of "Happy Together" that overlaps the credits in the ! original has been removed from the start of the syndicated credits, ! leaving the sound effects. ==[ EABF03 ]================================ The Dad Who Knew Too Little === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 29 seconds 21:18 / 21:47 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:09) 6:33 / 6:42 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:12) 8:17 / 8:29 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:08) 5:18 / 5:26 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 $ The first Fox broadcast and syndicated version have the "epilogue" $ over the credits; for the second and third (free) Fox airings, this $ was replaced with standard credits so that a promo could run without $ cutting it short. ==[ EABF04 ]================================== The Strong Arms of the Ma === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 3 seconds 21:19 / 21:22 Original opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:50 / 0:50 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:13 / 5:13 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:03) 7:37 / 7:40 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 6:51 / 6:51 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF06 ]============================================== Pray Anything === CUTS: 1 seconds GAINED: -4 seconds 21:19 / 21:15 Original opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:50 / 0:50 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:01> (0:01) 5:43 / 5:44 Texan: I'm crazy as a craphouse rat for philanthrophy! Yee-haw! Yee-haw-ha <0:01> % w! Aaaah-ha ha ha! [clicking heels together] The Simpsons leave the building. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (-0:05) 9:06 / 9:01 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (-0:01) 4:53 / 4:52 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:47 / 0:48 ! Shall we talk about pointless cuts? The only episode so far that ! comes in at less than 21:18, and they have to change it; why? (The ! expansion in act III seems to be just from the exec credits.) ==[ EABF05 ]=============================================== Barting Over === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:18 / 21:50 Original opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 1:12 / 1:12 ! And when I say "original opening," I mean it; the "300th episode" ! caption remains here in syndication, as it did for all three Fox ! airings. At least they kept the 300/302 corrective joke. ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:09) 5:10 / 5:19 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:11) 7:17 / 7:28 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:12) 6:51 / 7:03 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF07 ]============================== I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 23 seconds 21:18 / 21:41 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ! As with EABF05, the erroneous "301st episode" caption at the start ! remains in syndication (as well as all Fox airings). Thanks a lot! ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:05) 4:45 / 4:50 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:11) 9:24 / 9:35 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:07) 5:59 / 6:06 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ! Rather than pick up in the middle of the song as usual, this episode ! follows in the footsteps of 9F11 and 9F14, sort of. The music fades ! out at the end of act III, but then restarts when the credits come ! on. The music is compressed a little bit to fit better, but does get ! cut off earlier anyway. <-5.3> + [music starts with those four notes] "I put a spell on you..." "Because you're mine..." [more singing] "...no runnin' around" [cut off abruptly in syndication] <04.3> % [music] "I can't staa-aand..." [Gracie Films logo] ==[ EABF08 ]======================================= A Star is Born-Again === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:18 / 21:50 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:09) 5:41 / 5:50 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:14) 7:43 / 7:57 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:11) 6:42 / 6:53 ! For the executive producer credits, the Benny Hill music was looped ! to fill the time left by moving "Jellyfish" entirely to the rest of ! the credits (without compression, unlike EABF07). See below. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (-0:02) 0:50 / 0:48 <-0:05>+ ["Jellyfish" starts, as heard originally in the exec credits] [the song continues] "...for now, I just hold goo <0:03> % oooooo." [music fades, some silence] [Gracie Films logo, overlapping "goo" in synd] ==[ EABF09 ]============================== Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington === CUTS: 4 seconds GAINED: 33 seconds 21:17 / 21:50 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:04> (0:18) 9:03 / 9:21 Homer walks off the roof and screams. A crash, meow, and moo are heard. % In a far view of the house, looking from above the left backyard, % a plane crosses overhead. Lisa waves a rake as a plane goes from the <0:04> % front to the back of the house. % % Lisa: This is not a Delta hub! Establishing shot of airport. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:09) 5:44 / 5:53 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:06) 5:20 / 5:26 * Compression starts when Krusty addresses the virtually empty room. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF10 ]=================================================== C.E.D'oh === CUTS: 1 second GAINED: 31 seconds 21:18 / 21:49 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:10) 6:45 / 6:55 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:01> (0:13) 7:43 / 7:56 A safety shower sets a man on fire. <0:01> % Establishing shot of a coffee room with nothing happening, until people walk out of the coffee room. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:08) 5:40 / 5:48 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF11 ]============================= 'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky === CUTS: 1 seconds GAINED: 31 seconds 21:18 / 21:49 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:10) 6:34 / 6:44 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:01> (0:13) 8:00 / 8:13 Desmond: Does it make you feel smart to question people's motives? Lisa: Yes! Desmond: Well, all right, then. Desmond signs the petition and hands it to Lisa, then confidently struts away. <0:01> % He continues walking like this for another second. Establishing shot of Captain McAllister's boat-house. ! This cut starts the first frame Lisa is offscreen. You crazy ! syndicators! ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:08) 5:34 / 5:42 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF12 ]==================================== Three Gays of the Condo === CUTS: 9 seconds GAINED: 29 seconds 21:19 / 21:48 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:10) 7:23 / 7:33 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:09> (0:19) 7:04 / 7:23 Homer: Spacious...riverview...only four hundred dollars a month! % _Thank_ you, news box! [looks, gasps; wide shot reveals:] % It's gone! <0:09> % % Pan to Cletus dragging it behind him in his truck. Then, in closeup: % % Cletus: All right! I got me a place to put my spiderses! Music starts as Homer walks past Alternative Knifestyles. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 5:42 / 5:42 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 * In Act III and the ending, I noticed some tiny bits of compression. * It could be an issue with my VCR and computer, but it's possible * that the syndicators wanted to get the time down just a little more. ==[ EABF13 ]==================================== Dude, Where's My Ranch? === CUTS: 6 seconds GAINED: 31 seconds 21:18 / 21:49 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:11) 6:21 / 6:32 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:13) 7:28 / 7:41 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:06> (0:07) 6:19 / 6:26 Homer: I still hate them! [to elk] Go back to % Pittsburgh! + Grosse Pointe! ! Anyone care to explain this one? The original Fox broadcast has ! Pittsburgh; I don't know what happened in the second (of two) Fox ! broadcast, but it looks like the animation is for Grosse Pointe, so ! perhaps it was written that way but changed (even in closed caption) ! shortly before airtime. If anyone can shed some light on it, shoot ! me an email. ! Well, update: some time ago (a few years, sorry for the delay!) I ! was told by a "gregh111" that the original line referred to ! Scarsdale (New York). There was a local Simpsons radio promo that ! played that version of Homer's line to get the town excited about ! it, in fact. (That town name matches Homer's mouth movement a lot ! better than either of the other two.) Presumably, it was changed ! before the premiere to avoid legal problems that might arise. It ! still doesn't explain why two alternate versions exist, though. More ! information would be appreciated, and when season 14 comes out on ! DVD, I'll have a full writeup in the DVD guide. ~~ Luke: You got a lot of chutzpah, missy...goodbye! % Homer: [to Marge; both in front seat] % A lot can happen when you're lookin' the other way. % Marge: You're tellin' me! % % She points right, and music plays as the camera pans to a headstone: % <0:06> % ____ % ._/ \_. % | | % | COOKIE | % | ------ | % | 1912- | % | TODAY | % |________| [fresh gravesite with some flowers] Lisa's eyes fill with tears. ~~ * A little compression starts up at Moe's song. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF14 ]=========================================== Old Yeller-Belly === CUTS: 28 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:18 / 21:50 7F01 blackboard, 7F01 solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:28> (0:28) 0:50 / 1:18 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: My pen is not a booger launcher % Solo: Downward Blues #1 + Blackboard: I will not Xerox my butt + Solo: Main Theme ! A creative, if odd, way to shorten the opening. Oddly, 7F01 used the ! full opening, so they still had to do some splicing; and 50-second ! season 2 openings (note the four notes as Maggie pops out of the bag ! instead of the more recent two) typically used a different solo, so ! it seems like no work was saved (compared to using EABF14's original ! blackboard and solo). And, of course, it's "voiceless" like altered ! season 13 episodes, but by this I also mean there are no sound ! effects at all until the couch gag. ! Note also that the Xerox blackboard never made it to syndication ! (that is, with 7F01), so EABF14 and EABF15 "make up" for it I guess. ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 6:55 / 6:55 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 6:24 / 6:24 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:04) 6:21 / 6:25 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF15 ]====================================== Brake My Wife, Please === CUTS: 14 seconds GAINED: 31 seconds 21:18 / 21:49 7F01 blackboard, 7F01 solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <-0:26> (-0:26) 0:48 / 0:22 ! Voiceless intro + Blackboard: I will not Xerox my butt + Solo: Main Theme + [no blackboard/solo in original] ! How's this for an intro modification? This might be the only one ! that was lengthened for syndication*, but of course if they'd made ! fewer cuts in act I (for example, just the first one!) there would ! be no need for this nonsense. (And as long as they were giving us a ! random 7F01 blackboard gag, why not the alternate "potatoe" one, ! which isn't on the DVD anyway?) ! (*I was reminded later by "Senor Spielbergo" that 4F19 also used a ! longer opening in syndication. Oops! In recent seasons, others have ! been lengthened as well.) ~~~~~ ACT I <0:40> (0:45) 5:21 / 6:06 ! Get ready for some world-class cuts here. This has got to be the ! Jerkiest Syndicator episode of the year. Eight closely spaced tiny ! cuts in about four minutes; it's not quite as bad as DABF05 or ! CABF13, but still quite annoying. (The cuts' timings are rounded to ! half-seconds; sometimes they were a little more but I decided to let ! compression take responsibility for that.) ~~ Announcer: These sea lions survive by eating the leftovers of the various film crews that plague the continent. % Lisa (among others) watches, as the music continues. % % Lisa: Hmmm... % % She turns and sees the door behind her to the left, with a sign % above it reading "PENGUIN HABITAT" and a sign on the door that says % "UNDER REPAIR." <0:14> % % Lisa: [excited] Hmmm! % % She goes to it and opens the door. Inside, three penguins circle % above an inside iceberg, while others fly around more erratically. % Lisa gasps. A penguin notices and quacks at another, which looks % behind it. They all land and look around nonchalantly. Lisa backs % out, with a disturbed look on her face. The door closes. Cut to workers cleaning up a dried-out tank. ~~ Man: Oh, they're well taken care of...in our storage facility! <1.5> % The camera cuts to the storage facility, with various animals in % plastic bags with water. A man brings in a bagged octopus. ~~ Marge: Well, it's 11 am on a workday, so he must be at that stupid bar! <0:02> % In a wide shot of the hallway, Marge dials a pay phone. Marge: Is my husband there? ~~ Moe: Whatcha wearin'? [dial tone] % Marge sighs by the phone. Music starts (for the length of this cut). % Exterior shot of the hospital at night (an important detail!). <8.5> % Inside, Marge and Lisa are bored to death (another important % detail). Pan to Bart, trying to free himself by tugging. % % Bart: OK, five more minutes and I'm chewing my hand off! Homer: [walks into the room] Bart, are you OK? ! Usually, act I cuts are made between credits; here, the credits are ! moved around within the syndicated version so that they all appear, ! even though some originally show up in the edited parts. ~~ Announcer: He's got a nose for news, and a diaper full of headlines! <0.5> % The back of a chair is seen (with silence). A man walks in. Man: Hey, Chief! ~~ Woman: Hush up, Nana, that's fool talk! % Homer whimpers, smacking his forehead once. Three seconds later, he <11.5> % hears a screech from the chimp, laughs insanely for five seconds, % and looks back at the other monitor. Homer continues whimpering; it % sounds like "she's so wise, oh no, he's got a better best friend." Homer: [laughs insanely at a screech] Look, he's misspelling words! ~~ Homer drives down the road. % Inside the car, he's actually looking at the road, but then: <1.5> % % Homer: DVD player...check. Show cone machine? Check. Lite Brite? Homer flips the Lite Brite on, <0.5> % and the camera lingers on it. Homer: Check. ! You can see Homer take his eyes off the DVD player in syndication. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:05) 6:45 / 6:50 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:07) 7:36 / 7:43 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF16 ]============================================ The Bart of War === CUTS: 27 seconds GAINED: 33 seconds 21:18 / 21:51 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:27> (0:27) 0:23 / 0:50 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: Sandwiches should not contain sand % Solo: Downward Blues #1 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:27 / 5:27 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:06) 7:15 / 7:21 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 7:25 / 7:25 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF17 ]============================================= Moe Baby Blues === CUTS: 5 seconds GAINED: 30 seconds 21:18 / 21:48 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:09) 5:14 / 5:23 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:05> (0:16) 8:46 / 9:02 Homer: Get out! Moe: Get out, that...that...OK. Ugh! [slinks out the window] <0:05> % [image remains still] Maybe I can catch a late show of "Alice % in Underpants"...or maybe "Put 'em on the Looking Glass"! The act ends. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:05) 6:08 / 6:13 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ ------ ]================================================================