[MG03] Bart Jumps

Bart Jumps                                             Written by Matt Groening
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[$Id: mg03 1.2 1993/05/30 14:31:32 rjc Exp $]
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> Didja notice...
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    ... the obligatory mouse hole in the corner?
    ... Homer is credited as `Dad'?

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> Freeze-Frame Fun
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>> Jump number one

Bart lands on his head.  His entire body collapses; his legs flail outwards.

>> Jump number two

Bart lands on his butt.  He flattens onto his back.  His eyeballs pop out of
their sockets and land back in them when they reach the ground.  Bart's body
does a small bounce, and the eyeballs pop out and back a second time.

>> Jump number three

Bart opens his eyes mid-leap and realizes that there's nobody there to catch
him.  His eyes bug out, and he lands on his head.  His body compresses and
springs back, landing him on his back.  Bart's nose is swollen, he has a
dazed grin on his face, and his eyes are askew.  There is a new bruise on
his shirt.

>> Jump number four

A truly stupendous jump.  He clenches his teeth and leaps into the air.
His mouth opens as if to yell `Cowabanga!', then he turns so that his head
lands first.  Upon contact with the floor, yellow impact lines emerge from
his head, and his entire body turns as if to jelly.  His body expands
back, throwing him a foot into the air, then lands a second time on his
head with the same impact lines and jelly-transformation.  One more bounce
six inches off the ground.  As Bart's tongue hangs sickly out of his mouth,
he lands flat on his back and his body flattens.  His eyeballs detach from
his head and bounce into the air.  His body recoils from the impact and
bounces into the air, catching up with his eyeballs.  Then his body falls,
leaving his eyeballs in the air, which eventually fall and land back in
their sockets.

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> Animation goofs
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>> Bart's forehead miraculously sprouts a bandage during Act Two.  He doesn't
have one when he starts the jump, but he does when he's on the floor.

>> The bruise on Bart's shirt he earned Act Three has vanished in Act Four.

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> Quotes and scene summary
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% B = Bart, H = Homer
%
% Bart stands on a table, Homer stands a few feet away.  On the wall are
% a portrait of Marge and a framed sign, ``No foolish horseplay.''
% Homer reaches his arms towards Bart.

H: Leap into your father's arms.  Come on, just like the old days!
B: I'm too big now, Dad.  There's no way.

% As Homer continues to plead, Bart does some knee bends and otherwise
% prepares to jump.

H: Come on, boy!  Leap!  Do it!  Atta boy!  Come on, Bart!

% Bart not so much leaps as hops feebly off the table, landing on (and
% bouncing off) his spiky-haired head.  Homer scowls.

H: You call that a leap?

% [End of Act One.]
%
% Bart is back on the table.  Bart is annoyed in a bored, whiney sort of way.
% During the conversation, Bart continues doing knee bends and otherwise
% preparing to jump.

B: Dad, why are we doing this?
H: You've always afraid of falling on your head ever since you were a
   little baby.  I'm trying to help you overcome that fear.
B: You want me to jump because I've always been ... jumpy?

% Bart jumps...

H: [laughs] That's a good one son.  Always been jumpy! [laughs more]

% ... and lands on his butt because Homer was laughing too hard.
%
% [End of Act Two.]
%
% Back on the table.  Bart is whining.  His forehead has a small bandage,
% as well as an unbandaged bruise.

B: Daaad, this is really dumb.  My head still from the last two times...
H: Let's go, boy.  No excuses.  Leap!  Leap, boy!  I wanna see some
   gumption!

% Bart closes his eyes, clenches his fists, and starts doing knee bends in
% preparation for a really big leap.

H: Leap like you never, um...  Leap like you never...

% Homer turns his head to the side, mentally distracted.

H: What's the past tense of leap?

% Homer wanders off in search of a dictionary just as Bart jumps.

H: Leapt?  Leaped?  That doesn't sound right...

% Bart lands on his head, bounces once, and reclines on the floor yet
% again, a new bruise on his shirt.  The usual cartoon embellishments
% emanate from Bart's head.
%
% Off-screen, Homer flips through the dictionary.  (Three page flips.)
% He returns, dictionary in hand, and all smiles.

H: Well, whaddya know!  Leaped <and> leapt.  They're <both> right!

% [End of Act Three.]
%
% You know the set-up.

B: But Dad...
H: I haven't got all day.  Now leap, and give it all you got.
B: Do I have to?
H: Bart!

% The doorbell rings.

H: I'll get it.

% Homer turns and leaves.  Meanwhile, Bart has closed his eyes and
% jumped.  He lands on his head, bounces twice, and lies, inert,
% flat on his back.
%
% Homer returns, four boxing gloves in his hand.

H: Good news, son!  The boxing gloves have arrived!

% [End of Act Four.]
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Shorts summaries Copyright 1992 by Raymond Chen.  Not to be redistributed
in a public forum without permission.  (The quotes themselves, of course,
remain the property of The Tracey Ullman Show, and the reproduced articles
remain the property of the original authors.  I'm just taking credit for the
compilation.)