Maximum Homerdrive Written by John Swartzwelder
Directed by Swinton Scott
==============================================================================
Production code: AABF13 Original Airdate on FOX: 28-March-1999
Capsule revision A (17-Mar-2000)
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> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
(Fox press release) Homer engages Red, a well-known reliable trucker, in a
beef-eating contest that has high steaks. Making up for his gross winning,
Homer and Bart set out across country to deliver Red's shipment on time.
Meanwhile, Marge craves some adventure of her own and takes Lisa shopping
at "Señor Ding-Dong's Doorbell Fiesta" on THE SIMPSONS episode "Maximum
Homerdrive" Sunday, March 28 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX. (SI-1013) (TV-
PG; L)
Voice Cast: Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson, Julie Kavner as Marge
Simpson, Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson, Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson,
Hank Azaria as Wiggum and Harry Shearer as Mr. Burns.
Guest Cast: Pamela Hayden as Milhouse and Tress MacNeille as Waitress.
{js}
(Canadian TV Guide) Homer has more than a cow when he enters a beef-eating
competition that pits him against a trucker; a bell tolls for Marge when
she takes Lisa shopping at "Señor Ding-Dong's Doorbell Festival". {hl}
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Blackboard: IT DOES NOT SUCK TO BE YOU
Couch: It's role-reversal time. Bart and Lisa, as bigger, adult
versions of themselves run to the couch. They are followed by
Homer (carrying a Maggie doll) and Marge, who are now the
kids. Homer tries to pick up the TV remote, but Lisa slaps
his wrist.
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> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
... Homer wears a $9.99 baseball cap?
Ellen Cohen:
... a lot of those truckers wore red hats?
Ben Collins:
... Lisa isn't with the family at the Slaughterhouse?
... Red is smiling when he dies?
... Marge says "Dammit"? ["... in front of Lisa no less," says {er}]
Don Del Grande:
... Maggie is eating with her hands?
... either Springfield is more than 2200 miles from Atlanta, or Homer drove
the wrong way for a while?
... somehow, Homer managed to drive 220 miles an hour, if he drove 2200
miles in 10 hours?
Yuri Dieujuste:
... Homer managed to get to Atlanta without a truckers' license?
Jordan Eisenberg:
... both subplots dealt with malfunctioning machines?
... Chesperito speaks for the first time in two years?
Todd P. Emerson:
... Bart's happy, then frowny face while listening to the Spice Girls!
... Homer's dilated pupils while driving on Stimu-Crank!
Joe Green:
... Lisa is being pushy about her vegetarianism again?
Patrick McGovern:
... Homer apparently DOESN'T have a horn on his truck?
... the kid in the car isn't scared away when Homer threatens him the first
time?
... the metron doesn't recognize that Red's not driving until the end?
... the metron is voice-responsive?
Travis D. McLemore, Jr.:
... the "hairpin" is actually two 90-degree lefts?
... truckers use CB channel 40? [{ddg} claims 19 is more traditional --
Ed.]
... Homer playing cats-cradle?
... Señor Ding-Dong wears a bell for a hat?
Benjamin Robinson:
... Sir Loin-A-Lot is a whopping 256 ounces?
... Homer can eat 64 ounces of beef before getting full? (Note that this
is less than the 72-oz. steak he rejected as too small.)
Matt Rose:
... that the giant steaks were perfectly round in shape?
Evan Ross:
... Lisa refers to "sub sandwiches" which means she uses a Northern
dialect?
... the Jehovah's Witnesses are dressed like the Movementarians from "The
Joy of Sect"?
Mike Smith:
... it's the first time an OFF-related title is referred to in an episode
title? [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
Simon Treanor:
... when the waiter announced Red Barclay was still champion, he was quite
literally a "Still Champion"
... Marge and Lisa expected Milhouse to ring the bell, but some birds
"suddenly appeared"
Javier Vera:
... Homer didn't pay for the pills?
==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Trucker 6 [?], Trucker 7, Engineer)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Nelson)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Delivery man, Chief Wiggum, Trucker 4, Bumblebee Man, Ding-
Dong)
- Harry Shearer (Burns, Waiter, Red, Trucker 1, Gil, "Hey, get that truck
out of here!", Movie Guy, Clerk, Trucker 3, Trucker 5, Autodrive,
Trucker 8, Dockmaster)
- Also Starring
- Pamela Hayden (Milhouse, Nureen)
- Tress MacNeille (Lady Trucker, Gwen, Movie Lady, Old Lady, Lady on tour
bus [?])
- Karl Wiedergott (Marvin)
==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
+ Stephen King's "Maximum Overdrive" (movie)
- title of episode based on this movie title
- [{hl} was the first to note that Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa,
was in this flick. See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
- "Sucks to be You," by Prozzäk (song) {bjr}
- apparently it doesn't, according to Bart's blackboard punishment
+ the Green Grocer (TV correspondent) {bjr}
- Marge mentions "The Red Grocer," who sounds like a takeoff
+ Sir Lancelot (legendary figure) {sc}
- the restaurant's flagship dish is called "Sir Loin-A-Lot"
+ "The Great Outdoors" (movie)
- in this film, John Candy accepts a challenge to eat a huge steak, like
Homer and Red
- "Beethoven's 2nd" (movie) {jv}
- Homer in the steak contest very similar to the hamburger contest in
this movie
- "Married ... with Children" (TV series) {ol}
- Les sinks his hand down his pants just like Al Bundy on this series
- "Dukes of Hazzard" (TV series) {bjr}
- Homer mounts his truck the way Bo and Luke get into the General Lee
+ Tex Avery cartoons
- Red's "Red Rascal" door graphic drawn in his style
- [{ms} identifies the character as the wolf from "Red Hot Riding Hood"
(1943, MGM) -- Ed.]
- Minnie Pearl (comedian) {ddg}
- Homer's wears a hat with a price tag on it, like Pearl
- Bettie Page {tdm}
- on postcard Homer sends Marge [Never heard of her? See "Comments"
section for more -- Ed.]
+ "Close to You" by the Carpenters (song) {tdm}
- song on the new doorbell
- "The Birds" (movie) {tdm}
- attacking Milhouse
+ "can of whoop-ass" (slang) {ddg}
- Marge's "can of whoop-tushie" similar to phrase heard often in WWF
[{ec} reports it's most associated with wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve
Austin -- Ed.]
~ "Red Dwarf" (TV series) {tpe}
- "Monster Who Ate Everybody" bit was similar to the "Everybody's dead,
Dave" routine
+ the Grassy Knoll at Daley Plaza in Dallas
- second truck stop called "The Gassy Knoll," a spoof of the grassy
knoll (from where some people think the fatal shot was fired)
+ IRS (U. S. tax ministry) income tax form {bjr}
- trucker's code for tax deadline, 10-40, inspired by number of infamous
form: 1040
+ Jimmy Hoffa (union leader) {ejr}
- the truckers claim they buried him
- "Animal House" (movie) {jg2}
- Homer says "Thank you, sir, may I have another?"
+ "2001: A Space Odyssey" (movie)
- truck navigating computer sounds a little like HAL 9000
- "Knight Rider" (TV series) {jc}
- vehicle objects to its driver placing himself in harm's way
~ "The Chase" (movie) {ejr}
- when Homer's truck skids sideways and flips over a line of cars
parodies a scene in this movie
- Zorro (literary character) {jg2}
- Señor Ding-Dong sounds/acts like him
- "Meditation XVII" by John Donne (poem) {bjr}
- Wiggum says "the bell tolls" for the errant doorbell
==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- Previous jobs of Gil {jv}
- [5F06] House salesman
- [5F10] Shoe salesman
- [5F18] Car salesman
- [AABF13] Doorbell salesman
- [7F01] Homer calls his navigator "Blinky" {je}
- [7F12] A version of the Carpenters' "Close to You" is heard {mr}
- [7F20] Homer fishes for a catfish {je}
- [8F06] Homer falls asleep while driving {jg2}
- [8F15], [2F08] Young Marge {ms}
- [8F23] "My wife is going to kill me" {mr}
- [9F05] Jehovah's' Witnesses at the Simpson house {je}
- [9F13], [1F10], [3F06] Someone describing what happens to their body, as
it's happening ("bowels ... clenching ...") {je}
- [9F15] Jimmy Hoffa disappearance referenced {hl}
- [9F18] Someone's own hallucinations mock them {je}
- [9F21], [1F09] Homer trades away a family necessity {je}
- [1F02] Homer gets giddy over a squirrel {hl}
- [1F09], [4F01], [4F14] "Touché." {je}
- [1F18] Nelson's bag prank the same as Bart's in this episode {dj}
- [2F01] Bird attack {hl}
- [2F08] Homer eats a submarine sandwich, a hoagie, and a grinder {ddg}
- [2F09] "Please, sir, may I have another?" {je}
- [2F15] Adult Lisa {ms}
- [3F02] Dr. Hibbert goes to a restaurant with his family {jv}
- [3F03] Lisa the Vegetarian {dj}
- [3F06], [AABF02] Young Homer {ms}
- [3F15] People at the drive-in speaking in synch with the on-screen character
{je}
- [3F18] Last speaking role for Bumblebee Man {dj}
- [3G03] "Didn't I?" cf. "Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he?" {je}
- [4F13] Someone (Lisa then, Milhouse now) tries to sell seeds {bjr}
- [4F16] Someone takes too many pep pills {dj}
- [4F16] Someone takes pep pills {je}
- [4F19] Someone kills himself trying to outshine Homer {je}
- [4F20] A skull used for unusual decorating purposes in "Chief Wiggum, PI"
{ec}
- [4F21] Homer looking multiple times at Red Barclay and his picture, is very
similar the way Bart looks at the megaphones in this episode {jv}
- [5F04] "Close To You" heard again {ms}
- [AABF01] Homer's "tulebox" appears {je}
- [AABF08] Dr. Hibbert lets his outside interests (football fan; owner of the
Slaughterhouse) supercede his opinion as a doctor {je}
==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Sign Lisa holds {jv}
PROTEST
[picture of
an ox covered
by a red line]
TODAY
- Restaurant OFF goes (But Lisa) {jv}
THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE
[guy chopping a cow's head
with a chainsaw]
- Pictures at the restaurant {jv}
WALL OF FAME
[picture of [picture of
Red Barclay] Tony Randall]
RED BARCLAY TONY RANDALL
- Red's sack {jv}
I DIED AT THE
SLAUGHTER HOUSE
- Truck's logo {jv}
RED
[picture of a wolf
with his arm around a lady)
RASCAL
- Truck stop sign {bjr}
JOE'S DINER
+------------+-->
|NOW AWARE OF|
|CAMP VALUE! |
+------------+
- Drive-in Fu {bjr}
Stardust Drive-In
THE MONSTER
THAT ATE
EVERYBODY
- Pep pill bottle {bjr}
STIMU-
CRANK
[Ask for it by name!]
- The gas station {jv}
THE
GASSY KNOLL
- Truckers' Code list {gw}
|10-33| Actual Bear in air.
|10-34| Can't unchain wallet
|10-35| Hot enough for ya?
|10-36| Ghost truck on highway
|10-37| Ask me about my
grandchildren
|10-38| Outsider blabbing about
auto-drive system
|10-39| I love you, gay buddy {mjf}
|10-40| Taxes due {cjs}
[{ddg} notes, "For those of you from outside of the USA, 'Form
1040' is used to file federal income tax."]
- Atlanta road sign {bjr}
WELCOME TO
ATLANTA
"HOME OF TED TURNER'S
MOOD SWINGS"
- People in Front of the Simpson Home {ejr}
- Dr. Hibbert, Mrs. Krabappel, Lenny, Barney, Bumble Bee Man, and later
Flanders
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> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
+ The mantelpiece at one side of the dining-room has never been there before.
{jv}
* It's almost impossible to throw the food the way Homer did. {jv}
* If the Slaughterhouse just opened, why is it such a big deal that only two
people have finished a Sir Loinalot? [{nmd} responds, "Perhaps the
Slaughterhouse has other locations, and it's just the Springfield one that
just opened." -- Ed.] {jg2}
+ Homer is left-handed while eating the giant steak. (He picks up the knife
with the left hand and the fork with the right hand, right-handed people do
the other way round). {jv}
+ Homer ate all that seafood in a single sitting, but couldn't finish a lousy
steak. {rdb}
= Red blinks while he's dead. [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {bc}
* How did Homer turn the truck on the first time he got in? The most logical
thing is that Red had the keys with him. If someone took them when he
died, I don't think that someone would put them on the truck. {jv}
+ I doubt Marge would let Bart leave with Homer if he had school that week.
(Note that in "Lard of the Dance (5F20)" that she didn't know Bart was with
Homer. Here, she saw him leave.) {bjr}
c When Homer turns on the truck's radio, we here "Wannabe." In the caption,
it says a part of "Dancing Queen" is playing. {lmg}
= The price tag in Homer's hat appears and disappears. {jv}
* Marge and Lisa received Homer's postcard before he had been on the road for
three days. (That must have been one fast post office.) {nmd}
+ One of Homer's postcards says he's eaten a hoagie, as if he's never eaten
one before, but in 2F08, Homer says he's tired of eating hoagies. {ddg}
+ Marge doesn't know who Gil is, even after she worked with him in "Realty
Bites", and sought refuge in his balloon in "Natural Born Kissers". She
referred to him by name in both episodes. {ejr}
= From the first point of view, Bart's burger has many bites, but from the
close look, it has only one. {jv}
= Lisa rings a yellow-framed doorbell, but when Marge picks it out, the frame
turns brown. {dj}
* One of the birds attacking appear to be tropical. Tropical birds generally
don't migrate to the United States. {ejr}
* Homer and Bart shouldn't have been able to hear the movie. {jv}
* Homer does 2200 miles in 10 hours. That's 220 MPH. We're talking Boeing,
not Mack. {jj}
+ Why didn't Homer use Lisa's Pep Pills "Trucker's Choice" from "The Canine
Mutiny"? {ejr}
c When Homer said "showdown," the CC displayed, "<i>reverse</i> convoy."
{ag}
* The truckers drive on both sides of the road when chasing Homer. {ejr}
= Homer's truck stops rotating in mid-air when he jumps over the truck
blockade. {ddg}
==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Dale G. Abersold: Homer acts like a boor, goes on another "wacky" adventure,
and somehow things work out. I did like the subplot: it was similar in
spirit to the "egg" subplot from "Sunday Cruddy Sunday," but on the whole
more successful. (The scenes with Milhouse and, later, the Jehovah's
Witnesses were definitely the funniest of the episode). But in the end,
this episode was harmless and forgettable. (C)
Miranda Buckle: I loved this episode!! I was squealing with disgust in the
scene at the slaughterhouse, and my favorite quick joke was the 2001
reference with the auto-driver thingey. I was also chuckling at how the
folks at the slaughterhouse handled Red's death, you know, "He's not
breathing!! Aren't people supposed to breathe?!" I also really liked the
whole sequence when Marge waited for someone to ring the doorbell! And
that guy who never sells anything has been appearing a lot recently, hasn't
he? The plot was wacky and unpredictable, and the humor was over the top.
(A+)
Ellen Cohen: Slightly ho-hum, even by MY standards. There were some funny
moments, especially the "whoop-tushy" line and the whole automatic truck
driving thing ... but other than that, I've seen better. On the other
hand, I've seen worse as well. I got more laughs from "Futurama". (B)
Ben Collins: Boy, this episode sucks. It's the worst force-fed display of
Jerkass Homer ever, even worse than "Kidney Trouble." Not even the Homer
in episodes like "Make Room for Lisa" and "I'm With Cupid" would take
pleasure in pursuing a little boy with a truck or abandoning his wife. The
episode also suffers from a bad case of Recycled Gag Syndrome, almost all
of them from episodes this season. The subplot couldn't be more stupid,
pointless and meaningless. "Maximum Homerdrive" fails to deliver. (D-)
Nathan M. DeHoff: Yes, it was yet another "Homer has a wacky adventure"
episode, with an unrelated Marge and Lisa subplot to eat up some time. On
the face of it, it doesn't sound like a very good episode. I actually
enjoyed this one, though. The plot was silly, but it flowed smoothly, and
the coincidences that occurred were so ridiculous as to be funny. Homer's
motivation was also somewhat nobler than much of what we've seen in the
past (and it wasn't really his fault that Red died). The subplot had the
potential to be boring, but it was saved from this fate by the appearance
of Señor Ding-Dong and the Jehovah's Witness bit (quite possibly the
funniest scene in the episode). There were some dull parts, and Bart
didn't do as much as he could have, but, as far as "Homer has a wacky
adventure" plots go, this one was pretty good. (B+)
Yuri Dieujuste: Tonight's episode was decent plot-wise, but it was seriously
lacking in humour. IMHO, there were no funny areas of the story line.
Marge's subplot, unlike Make Room for Lisa, was poorly crafted.
Thankfully, Futurama was better. (D+)
Jordan Eisenberg: Kinda' boring. Since I'm getting used to the idea of The
Simpsons using formulaic plots and wacky premises, naturally an episode
would have to come along that's even more disturbing. The way Red's death
was handled was so dark it made me cringe, and the way Homer treated Marge
crossed the line from Everyday Asshole Homer to Cartoonish-Super-Asshole
Homer. Some nice jokes and incidental dialogue saved it from complete
pointlessness, as always. Other good points are that there were no real
slow parts, and not too many recycled jokes. But I didn't truly hate Gil
until now. (C-)
Curtis Gibby: {Double sigh} I really try to ignore the nay-sayers here who
tell us that season ten is all the same crap. [...] The plot was
horrible-- just another zany Homer-fest. (Yeah, I know ... all that crap
about giving me hundreds of hours of quality entertainment ... who am I to
complain?) Anyway, I don't think this episode was quite as bad as "Kidney
Trouble"-- more on the level of "Screaming Yellow Honkers." Subpar for
this season, horrible for the series. (D+)
Andrew Gill: Can't we have a simple bonding episode where bonding actually
occurs? The entire episode was almost entirely zaniness, and just left me
feeling flat. Can't we have one episode where the laws of physics are
observed from beginning to end? I hate to do this, but I'm giving this
episode my standard grade for non-effort: (F)
Joe Green: Despite occasional funny bits (the Jehovah's Witnesses scene was
the only one I laughed really hard at), the episode suffered from excessive
"Homer-centricity" (again), a pointless Marge and Lisa subplot (again) and
unnecessary plot twists (again). Aside from that, it sadly reflects the
fact that OFF is losing touch with its wryly satirical roots and the
characters are becoming unlikable parodies of themselves. (C-)
Darrel Jones: I thought the first two acts were about average for the series,
but Act Three picked it up. I really loved Homer vs. the other truckers,
the codes were good for a laugh, and Homer's "trip home" had me LOL. Plus
the ending (with Señor Ding-Dong) was fantastically silly. (B+)
Ondre Lombard: I have sort of a love-hate opinion of this episode. There
were gags here that made me laugh out loud for a change (who knows how well
they'll stand in time, though) and then there were jokes that fell really
flat. For the most part, I preferred the doorbell subplot to the nonsense
with trucker Homer, and Homer's story is set up with a grossly carried away
sequence of gags related to cruelty to livestock (the whole tastelessly
inhumane slaughter joke got old quick). By now, I get the impression that
the staff believes the show can go on as long as they can keep coming up
with more inane jobs for Homer to undertake. While the doorbell subplot
provided this episode with some strength, it's still a weak and uneven (C)
Patrick McGovern: I think this was a satire, actually. Why? Notice the
"little things". Marge saying "You're always going on these adventures!",
and Homer's out-of-control jerkass things were all plays on how Homer's
character was "deteriorating". Why does this work and Homer to the Max
doesn't? Because it's subtle. So subtle that many people mistook it for
true jerkassness. I don't know what that says about Homer's character this
season or the quality of the satire. [...] While it's certainly not the
best thing I've seen, or not even this season, I thought it was subtly
clever and most importantly-funny. (B+)
Abhi Ray: This episode was nearly abominable. Homer being a trucker has to
be the dumbest most inane job hat he's had yet. Is there anything funny
about this premise? Hardly. The setup with the slaughterhouse was too dark
to be funny. The climax with the truckers chasing Homer for squealing
about their scam was kinda good, as well as the conclusion to the doorbell
subplot and saves this episode from an even lower grade. Still, Maximum
Homerdrive was full of unSimpsonesque jokes and an unSimpsonesque story,
making this the 10th worst episode of all time. (D+)
Matt Rose: Typical of later-season Swartzwelder material in that the humor
was lacking but we got to see some nice Homer-Bart bonding, which was about
the only thing really redeeming about it. Not much to laugh at; they can't
seem to progress beyond the most obvious gag anymore, and it's very very
sad. This "Homer gets into some crazy crazy job" was getting tiresome last
season and yet it's still being rehashed over and over. The subplot with
the whole doorbell thing was a snooze. Even Futurama was disappointing -
has Groening lost his touch completely? Half-grade deduction for using a
Spice Girls song - SHAME ON YOU STAFF! (C-)
Evan Ross: Eh. This episode is following the trend of late, good ideas but a
weak follow-through. Some jokes were pretty good, but others were just not
the kind we get used to on the Simpsons. The entire deal with Homer just
getting up and going, along with Marge not trying to stop him, made this
episode feel forced and rigid. "Futurama" needed a strong lead-in, and
this ep. couldn't do it. (C+)
Eric Sansoni: There was a good balance of screentime among the characters,
very few jaw-dropping bad jokes, and lots of decent ones in "Maximum
Homerdrive." The characterization had more thought behind it than usual
for this season. The cross-country trip provided some interesting visuals,
and the obligatory appearance of everyone in the town happened for a fairly
good reason this time. Up against Futurama, the original Matt Groening show
held up surprisingly well for me tonight. While not nearly as smoothly
plotted as Futurama, it was just about as funny. (B)
Simon Treanor: This episode was quite similar to "Sunday Cruddy Sunday",
particularly in subplot. Unfortunately though, it wasn't as good. There
were some great jokes, and the "Slaughterhouse" restaurant was pretty
funny, but it was just another Homer-adventure episode, and Homer's
behavior was as bad as people say. (C+)
Javier Vera: This episode was simply the typical above-average episode from
the last seasons, the plot was original, yet it needed a little work.
There were some hilarious moments, i.e. no one ringing at Marge's bell.
The sub-plot was one of the very best I've seen lastly. In general, the
episode was good, but it could have been more better if the writers would
have work more on the main plot, the sub-plot being better than the main
plot. (B)
Yours Truly: A ho-hum episode, neither as gratingly unfunny nor memorably
hilarious. (Or for that matter, all that memorable.) The restaurant
opening was the best part, with the remainder of the show being too zany
for my taste. As with "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday (AABF08)," Marge and Lisa
have a quiet adventure of their own while the boys are out of town, and
like that show it doesn't really go anywhere. (C)
AVERAGE GRADE: C (2.10) Std Dev.: 0.9489 (28 reviews computed)
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
>> Musical References
Darrel Jones: "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls played on Homer's radio.
Mary Ceol: "12 Bar Blues" by NRBQ was playing in the diner where Homer and
Bart ate.
>> Writer Hunt
Jordan Eisenberg rails: Why is John Swartzwelder writing so many episodes
this year? He's probably one of the least favorite writers around here,
yet this is his fourth episode this year. But then again, Mike Scully is
an unpopular Executive Producer and he's going to become the longest-
running one the show's ever had next year. It's criminal, I tell ya!
Eric Sansoni: Actually, Swartzwelder has consistently written 4 or 5 episodes
per year throughout the series' run. He's actually credited as writer for
almost 20% of the series, probably twice as much as the next most prolific
writer. I think it just feels like he's written more this time, because
the whole season has been so lacking in content, it feels like it's barely
started yet.
BTW, I don't think Swartzwelder is particularly unpopular. A lot of fans
passing through seem to mention him as a favorite writer. I think this is
just because he's written so many episodes. Somewhere in there he's bound
to have written some of anyone's favorite episodes, so he is more likely to
be named a favorite writer than someone who's only written 3 or 4 episodes.
Ondre Lombard: Sometimes lately I don't like Swartzwelder because he can
create a bad episode with some good elements. I'd rather good jokes and
good ideas go towards a decent episode instead of a lame one.
>> Those Immortal Threads
- Where is Springfield?
Andrew Gill: Springfield is more than 2100 miles from Atlanta.
John Jensen: They started off with 3 days to get to Atlanta (later confirmed
as 2,200 miles). That would put Springfield in the far Northwest of the
US, Like Washington or Oregon.
Ted J. Mills notes: Maybe Springfield is much less than 2100 miles from
Atlanta, but Homer spent two days driving in the wrong direction.
>> Lisa: Been there, done that
Mike Smith: "Maximum Homerdrive" is the first time an episode title parodied
a title that is OFF-related, since it's a parody of "Maximum Overdrive', an
1986 film written and directed by Stephen King (From his short story,
"Trucks"). What is OFF-related, of course, that Yeardley Smith (who voiced
Lisa) co-starred in that movie (And, what bad memories of THAT!) The
movie, BTW, is remade as a 1997 made-for-cable movie called, simply,
"Trucks"!
[Wait ... someone *remade* "Maximum Overdrive"? I'm speechless -- Ed.]
Matt Rose adds: "Maximum Homerdrive" is obviously referring to "Maximum
Overdrive", a dreadful 1986 film directed by Stephen King and starring
Emilio Estevez, Laura Harrington, Pat Hingle, and a relatively unknown 22
year-old actress named Yeardley Smith (yes, the same one). In this movie,
a comet causes machines to come to life and terrorize the human race. The
main focus is on a group of travelers who all seek refuge at a truck stop
in North Carolina. Yeardley plays a *very* annoying young newlywed
character with a foul mouth (quite amusing :). If you like Yeardley (or
maybe if you like AC/DC), you might want to see it. Otherwise, avoid this
film like the plague. Come to think of it, I'm actually quite disappointed
that this episode failed to make reference to this movie in any other way,
seeing how there is a blatantly obvious opportunity to do so. Perhaps
Yeardley begged them not to?
>> Now that's good eatin'!
Are you hungry? I mean *really* hungry? John Jensen has the place for you:
There really is a restaurant in Texas called the Big Texan that has a
contest for eating a big steak dinner. But it's the 72 oz. one that Homer
scoffed at (not a 16 pounder!) Eat the whole thing in an hour and it's
free. FAIL and it's about $50. Amarillo, Texas, for those interested.
Billboards all the way across the state. Or ask any trucker ANYWHERE. I
mean from any state. It's known across the country.
Paul Tomko: The billboards are in Oklahoma as well. The say things like
"Only 400 more miles to the Big Texan." They might even be as far away as
Missouri. I don't recall at the moment.
>> A blink before dying
Todd P. Emerson proposes two theories of how Red could blink after dying: 1.
Post-mortem reflex. Sometimes certain muscles can contract and/or expand
after death, which would explain the blink. And after hearing stories my
grandfather would tell me about one of his earlier jobs, there is NO WAY in
hell that I would ever work at a job that required handling recently-dead
bodies. The embalming process alone can produce some interesting bodily
contortions, and I'll have none of that!
2. Red's blink might have been a joke about how some actors trying to play
"dead" can't seem to help blinking, twitching, or breathing. Nothing ruins
a good death scene like seeing an actor trying not to look like he's
breathing!
>> Wish you were her
John Jensen tells us about Bettie Page: Believe it or not, she is to date the
most popular pinup girl of all time. You think a lot of gas stations have
calendars of Pam Anderson? She has nothing on Bettie Page. And since
Playboy made her career, they are constantly going back to the well for
more.
>> "Wait! Maybe we don't have all the answers"
Yuri Dieujuste: Jehovah's Witnesses are an individual religion that is found
usually in large cities. Some basic things about their religion are that
they do not celebrate birthdays, they use a special version of the Bible
that has words such as priest erased, and they do not believe in religious
hierarchy (priest, bishop, pope).
I must agree with them that they do not have all of the answers. No
religion ever does!
David Brunt adds: They also don't believe in blood transfusions, organ
replacements, etc.
>> Well, at least they're not as annoying as Cabbage Patch Dolls
Benjamin Robinson explains the truckers' new scam: After the drivers figured
their scam was exposed, they brainstorm for ideas on how to make a living.
One of them suggests smuggling Beanie Babies, which isn't a bad choice.
For those of you who just got out of their cryogenic chambers yesterday,
Beanie Babies are small, floppy, stuffed dolls with cutsie names like
Peanuts the elephant, Harvey the wonder hamster, and Weasel the major
network television executive. By themselves, the dolls aren't that
remarkable, but each doll in the lineup is made only for a limited time.
Once that model's run is over, no more are produced. The idea was to keep
children interested enough to check back with the toy store periodically,
and it worked [*]. If anything, it worked too well. Adults began picking
up and hoarding the toys, rare examples of which were valued by collectors
in the thousands of dollars. The scent of money even attracted thieves who
stole the toys right out of the stores. In my area, a flea market guard
was jumped by two men with hammers who beat him and stole a quantity of
Beanie Babies. Kind of makes you wish your kids would go back to Barbies
and GI Joes.
[*] The "limited run" idea has worked before, with Matchbox and Hot Wheels
toy cars. The number of models sold at a given time is fixed. When a new
car is made, and old one is retired from the line. Adults also collect
both makes of toy cars, but not with the ferocity of Beanie Baby Boosters.
Joe Klemm adds: Bootlegging them would be impossible since many different
companies are making their own bean bag stuffed animals and counterfeit
versions of the Ty Beanies are sometimes easy to spot if you read a Beanie
guide.
Todd Sempel: They may be easy to spot, but Beanie Babies still get
bootlegged.
[Since this was written, the Ty corporation has shut down production of
Beanie Babies altogether -- Ed.]
>> Maximum Car Watch
Courtesy Benjamin Robinson: The coroner's hearse is a 1959 Cadillac.
(Cadillac doesn't make station wagons, so all Caddy hearses are actually
modified by an outside company.) Appropriately, the cops sometimes refer
to the coroner's hearse as a "meat wagon."
Among other cars at the drive-in, Homer blocks the view of a Volkswagen Old
Beetle.
Señor Ding-Dong's van is a Chevy, at least according to him.
I'm not really up on my big rigs, so I can't say of the "Red Rascal" is a
Mack truck or not, but Red Barclay's Mack cap suggests that it is.
>> Miscellaneous, Etc.
The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this show is: Honk If You're Homer
Dale Abersold's alterna-alterna-title: "Homer, You're Bleedin' Like a Stuck
Pig!" [Yes, it's a Yeardley Smith reference ...]
Jordan Eisenberg's Alterna-alterna-alterna-title: "The Little Simpson That
Could"
John Jensen (who is a trucker in real life): There aren't that many teamster
jobs around anymore. Nearly all are LTL, not truckload. (Yellow, ABF,
Roadway are the big 3). And they are making $20 an hour, not 40. But
still nothing to sneeze at.
Charles McNulty: Karen Carpenter's doorbell chimed the first six notes of
"We've Only Just Begun." I wonder if hers was also installed by Señor Ding
Dong.
[In the US, the series premiere of "Futurama" aired on the same night as this
episode, hence the many references to it by contributors -- Ed.]
==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary {bjr}
==============================================================================
% At the dinner table, Homer recounts how his day has gone. We jump
% in on the middle of his story, where he refuses a tetanus shot from
% the company nurse. His jaw locks in the middle of this tale, but he
% manages to free it again. "You still haven't told us why Lenny bit
% you," Marge says.
%
% Just as he is about to answer, Homer is interrupted again. This
% time it's Lisa, who is furious about the town's new steakhouse.
% Indeed, it sounds like a vegetarian's nightmare: The ceiling is
% decorated with hanging carcasses, there's a fountain of blood, and
% to top it off, patrons personally select their own cow to be
% slaughtered. Homer decides it's time for immediate action. The
% family must go to this restaurant -- to eat.
%
% The Simpsons, minus Lisa, sit down at one of The Slaughterhouse's
% tables.
Homer: Wow, it's even more wonderful than Lisa said.
[a waiter sets a basket on the table]
Marge: Ooh, look, a complimentary basket of hooves.
[opens the menu] Hmm, beef salad, beef on the cob, beef
fried beef ... is there anything on the menu that isn't
meat?
Waiter: Hah. Not likely!
Bart: Cool! Even this menu is made of meat! It's an entire
chicken pounded flat.
Marge: How clever. The kids' menu is on the beak.
-- Theme eating, "Maximum Homerdrive"
% In another part of the restaurant, Burns picks a cow to dine upon.
% Or rather, he picks several cows. Each time he chooses one, he
% changes his mind after the cowhand kills it. Finally, Mr. Burns
% decides that what he really wants is a glass of milk.
%
% Homer, too, is ready to order something.
Homer: Wait a minute. Is this the biggest steak you've got?
Seventy-two ounces? I thought this was supposed to be a
steakhouse, not a little girly, underpantsy, pink doily,
tea-party place.
Waiter: Well, there is one steak that's available only by special
request. We call it, uh, Sir Loin-A-Lot. It's, uh, the
size of a boogie board.
Homer: Ooh, I'll have that one. And to drink ... meatballs.
Waiter: Very good, sir. [rings a triangle] Ladies and gentlemen,
this brave man has accepted the Sir Loin-A-Lot challenge.
He will pit his stomach against sixteen pounds of
indomitable tenderloin.
[restaurant crowd applauds]
Homer: [to family] They like me because I'm brave.
-- ... and hungry, "Maximum Homerdrive"
% The waiter announces that only two men have ever polished off the
% whole thing. The pictures of the two men, Red Barclay and Tony
% Randall, are mounted on the wall in tribute to their accomplishment.
% A man at the next table advises Homer not to start out with such a
% big steak. When Homer challenges his authority, the man gestures
% toward the wall, where we see that his is one of the two pictures.
% Homer stares at the man, and then at the pictures, before finally
% recognizing him ... as Tony Randall.
Red: Red Barclay's my name. I'm a trucker, and I've eaten
steaks from coast to coast with taters and toast. Take my
advice -- this one's not for greenhorns.
Homer: Greenhorn? Who's a greenhorn? What's a greenhorn?
Bart: It's an insult! Sock him, Dad! Sock everybody!
Homer: Aw, you're just jealous because you don't have the belly
for it anymore, Mr. No-Belly. [pokes Red in his ample
belly] Mr. Hasn't-Got-A-Belly.
Red: Well, I have just finished a whole lamb, but, uh, I reckon
I can take you to school. You're on, boy.
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% For the eating contest, Red and Homer are seated on a raised
% platform at one end of the restaurant. The waiter struggles to
% carry the 256-ounce slab of beef to their tables. Homer drools
% lustily when he sees his huge steak.
Marge: Is it safe to eat that much food, Dr. Hibbert?
Hibbert: You know, I wouldn't have thought so before I bought
twelve percent of this restaurant, but now I feel a
balanced diet can include the occasional eating
contest.
Marge: But what if he chokes?
Hibbert: Not to worry, we have the latest Heimlich machine.
[a choking lady runs up to the machine. Two large
mechanical arms on either side administer the
Heimlich, freeing a stuck piece of food. As the
lady walks away, she trips on the very same piece of
meat]
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% The waiter introduces "Reliable Red Barclay," and "Homer somebody,"
% and the two men start eating. Homer butters a roll until Marge
% reminds him not to fill up on bread. Bart also coaches him, telling
% Homer not to bother savoring -- just chew and swallow. At the four-
% pound mark, Homer begins hallucinating, seeing the cows in the pen
% mocking his inability to eat. He bravely presses on, but the steak
% eventually gets the better of him. Bart tries tossing a piece of
% meat into Homer's mouth, but it just bounces back out.
What's happening to me? There's still food, but I don't want to eat
it. I've become everything I've ever hated!
-- Homer Simpson, "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Red Barclay, in the meantime, finishes the last bite of his steak.
Waiter: The winner and still champion, Reliable Red Barclay.
[raises victor's hand in triumph. The crowd cheers]
Homer: My hat's off to you, Red. You're a true American
hero, and you did it with style and dignity, and --
hey, you're not breathing! Don't people usually
breathe?
Hibbert: [checks for a pulse] This man is dead. Looks to me
like beef poisoning. [crowd gasps] Probably from
some other restaurant. [crowd seems relieved]
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% The coroners put Red's body in a body bag, and load him in a hearse.
% A medic hands Marge a bag for Homer, just in case.
%
% As the hearse drives away, Red's friends mourn his passing.
Lady Trucker: There goes the finest trucker who ever lived.
Homer: He called me, "greenhorn." I called him, "Tony
Randall." It was a thing we had.
Trucker 1: Thirty-eight years and never missed a shipment. But
I guess this is one delivery old Red won't be
making.
Homer: Oh, yes he will. And on time, too. [gets in the
truck]
Marge: Oh, no, Homer, no.
Homer: [starts truck] I've got to, honey. I owe it to old
Red as both his friend and his killer.
Bart: [opens the door, and climbs into the truck] Oh, let
me go with you, Dad.
Homer: Don't you have school?
Bart: Don't you have work?
Homer: Ah, touché.
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Homer says goodbye to Marge. She sounds resentful at first, but
% Homer eventually cajoles a sincere-sounding farewell from her.
% Then, with two blasts from his horn, he roars out of the lot, and
% into Act Two.
%
% [End of Act One. Time: 7:16]
%
% On the open road, Homer practices a gear-shifting philosophy known
% as, "if you can't find it, grind it." Once he has things running
% smoothly, he starts to feel like a real trucker. Bart consults
% Red's transport orders, and finds that the shipment has to be in
% Atlanta in three days. To set the mood, Homer finds a radio station
% playing that truckers' favorite, the Spice Girls.
%
% A little boy in a passing station wagon makes the international air-
% horn gesture.
Homer: That little punk! I'll teach him some manners.
[prepares to ram the wagon]
Bart: No, Dad! He wants you to blow your horn.
Homer: Oh. [pulls a cord on the ceiling of the cab. The trailer
disengages] That little punk!
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Back at the old homestead, the girls get another postcard from
% Homer, which Lisa reads.
Lisa: Wow, Dad and Bart have been everywhere! They've eaten
submarine sandwiches, grinders, *and* hoagies.
Marge: It's not fair. Your father always gets to have such
exciting adventures. Maybe it's time we took a walk on
the wild side.
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% For Marge, the path to the wild side leads to a doorbell shop. She
% hopes to get a spiffy musical doorbell, but is immediately
% overwhelmed by the store's vast selection. Gil, now a trainee
% doorbell salesman, is overwhelmed by Nelson, who leave a flaming bag
% by one of the store's demonstration doors. Marge tells Gil that
% she's looking for a particular tune, and tries her best to warble
% it. Within seconds, Lisa has found the exact doorbell her mother is
% looking for; one that plays the Carpenters' "Close to You." Gil
% frets over this sudden competition in the doorbell-sales arena.
%
% On the road again, Homer and Bart dine at a truck stop.
Gwen: Little more hi-test, darling?
Homer: Sure thing ... [reads her nametag] Gwen.
Gwen: I'll be right back with your pie, hon.
Homer: Ah, there's a nice friendly gal.
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: Wouldn't it be great to live right here at the truck stop,
watching all the people come and go? You could have a
different best friend every day.
Bart: I suppose.
Homer: Great! I'll write your mother and tell her the marriage
is off. Then, when the paperwork is done, I'll make Gwen
my wife.
Gwen: Will that be all, sweetie?
Homer: For now.
-- Another well-thought-out plan, "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Meanwhile, Marge finishes installing the new doorbell. Lisa goes to
% test-ring it, but Marge holds her back, reasoning that the doorbell
% is not a toy. The two go inside, and wait for someone to come to
% the door. Time passes.
Marge: Anyone? Anyone at all?
Lisa: Oh! Milhouse is selling seeds, and he's coming this
wa-- Oh, the birds got him.
[Milhouse staggers past the window, attacked by
birds]
Milhouse: Ow! Oh! Not the face!
Marge: If your father were here, there'd be process
servers, repo men, and bounty hunters to beat the
band.
Lisa: Hey! People are coming! I think they're Jehovah's
Witnesses.
Marge: Yes!
[cut to outside the house. A young man and woman
walk up, and the man goes to ring the doorbell]
Noreen: Wait, Marvin, I just had a thought. Maybe we're
bothering people by trying to change their religion.
What if we don't have all the answers?
Marvin: You're right, Noreen. Let's go get real jobs.
[they walk away, discarding their pamphlets as they
go]
[cut to the inside of the house]
Marge: Hmmm ... I would have feigned interest.
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Finally, Marge's well of patience runs dry.
Marge: Still no visitors. It's time we opened up a can of Whoop-
Tushie on this situation. What's the number for Luigi's?
Lisa: Dad's got it on the speed-dial under "Fire."
[Marge dials. Cut to a shot of the Luigi's delivery man
driving up to the house]
Marge: This is it, honey. We did it.
[the delivery man knocks on the door]
Damn it! Ring the bell!
D. Man: Why? You already know I'm here, dontcha?
Marge: Just do it!
D. Man: Nothing doing, missy. Now, do you want your half-order of
garlic bread or not?
Marge: No, but if you just ring the ...
[the delivery man gets back in his truck and drives away]
-- So close, and yet so far, "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Finally, Lisa breaks and rings the bell. Marge is enraptured by the
% tune, and tries to sing along. ("Why do birds suddenly appear, over
% here ... over there.") Lisa notices the song keeps playing over
% again, but Marge doesn't seem to mind.
%
% At the drive-in, Homer and Bart watch a movie from the front row.
% Unfortunately, that means their truck blocks the view of everyone in
% the second and higher rows. The people in those cars are missing
% "The Monster That Ate Everybody," which includes a scene where a
% clueless starlet doesn't quite get what "It ate everybody" means.
%
% Later, Homer and Bart fish, without bait, from a quiet bridge. Bart
% reminds Homer that Red's shipment has to arrive in ten hours, and
% they're 2,200 miles from their destination. It's time to put the
% pedal to the metal, and Homer's going to need a little chemical
% help.
%
% Homer runs into an all-night country market.
Homer: Uh, yeah. I need something that will keep me awake,
alert, and reckless all night long.
Clerk: Well, Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw
these. [puts a bottle of pills on the counter]
Homer: [takes bottle] Sold!
[downs most of the pills on the spot]
Clerk: Hey, you can't take that many pep pills at once.
Homer: No problem, I'll balance it out with a bottle of sleeping
pills. [takes another generous helping of pills]
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Fueled by stimulants, and with Bart sleeping in the passenger seat,
% Homer races off into the night. Once the sleeping pills kick in, he
% begins to drop off to sleep. The pep pills stage a comeback, but in
% the end the sleeping pills reassert themselves. Homer falls asleep.
% Up ahead in the darkness, the cliffside road curves sharply to the
% left. Homer, Bart, and the truck head straight for the guardrail
% and certain doom ...
%
% [End of Act Two. Time: 13:17]
%
% Under the dash of the truck, a light blinks on a metal box.
% Seemingly on its own, the truck's brake pedal depresses, and it
% slows down, steering itself as it travels the precarious road.
% Finally, the truck rolls safely into a fuel station.
%
% Homer snaps awake and realizes that while he crashed, the truck
% didn't. He gets out of the cab, and approaches some other truckers.
Homer: You'll never believe what just happened. I fell
asleep at the wheel, and the truck drove here by
itself.
Trucker 3: Yeah, that Navitron Autodrive system's made our jobs
cushier than ever.
Homer: The what now?
Trucker 4: You know, this thing. [taps box] With this baby
driving your truck for you, all you gotta do is sit
back and feel your ass grow.
Homer: The trucks drive themselves?
Trucker 3: Hey, hey, hey, shh. Didn't your union rep tell you
about the scam we got going?
Homer: Eh, I'm not really a trucker, so I don't talk to the
rep that often.
Trucker 4: [grabs Homer by the jacket] All right, pal, here's
the deal. You stumbled on a secret that only truck
drivers are supposed to know.
Homer: [giggles]
Trucker 4: Hey, pay attention and stop looking at that
squirrel.
Trucker 3: We get forty bucks an hour to drive these rigs. You
think anybody'd hire us if they knew we weren't
driving the trucks?
Homer: [admiringly] Wow, you guys are even lazier than me.
Well, don't worry, I'll keep your secret.
Trucker 4: See that you do.
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Later that day, Homer decides to play a trick on his son. Seeing an
% old lady walking by the side of the road, he tells Bart that he's
% going to run her over. Bart objects, but when Homer releases the
% wheel, the truck steers around the woman, scaring her but leaving
% her uninjured. With the Autodrive system, he explains, the truck
% keeps itself out of trouble.
%
% As a further demonstration of the system, Homer climbs onto the hood
% of the truck -- while it is in motion. He invites Bart to join him,
% which he does. The truck passes a tour bus, and the passengers are
% quick to see that nobody is driving. There's no need to worry,
% Homer assures them, because Autodrive is on the job.
%
% Other truckers on the road also see Homer's shenanigans. Realizing
% their scam is in peril, they quickly mobilize to shut Homer up.
%
% Back in Springfield, Marge and Lisa try to get the doorbell to shut
% up. It has been playing the opening bars of "Close to You" all
% through the night, and the sound is beginning to take its toll.
% Lacking the proper tools, Marge instead yanks out a wire from the
% doorbell's innards. Bad move -- the playing gets louder and faster,
% until it wakens the neighborhood.
%
% On Highway 7, a fleet of big rigs closes in on Homer and Bart.
Homer: [seeing the trucks in his rear-view mirror] Look, son.
It's one of Nature's most beautiful sights -- the convoy.
[one of the trucks accelerates, and hits Homer's trailer]
Bart: He hit us!
Homer: Oh, I should have known. They're hazing us, to initiate
us into the truckers' fraternity.
[the truck is hit again]
[yelling out the window] Thank you sir, may I have
another?
[the truck is hit again]
Bart: Dad, they're trying to kill us.
Homer: Oh, why do all my trips end like this?
-- Don't look at us, "Maximum Homerdrive"
% A trucker jumps on to Homer's hood. Homer repels him with a blast
% of water from the windshield washers. Another man leaps onto
% Homer's trailer, and tries to cut a tire with a knife. The blade
% bounces off the rubber, and the man drops the knife on the road.
% For a second, it looks like Homer has lost his pursuers, but it
% turns out that several truckers have blocked the road ahead.
%
% Homer is determined, as a favor for Red, to get his load through.
% It's time for a showdown.
Homer: We'll get through that barrier somehow. Old Blinky
here will find a way. [drives at top speed towards
the barricade]
Autodrive: I'm afraid I can't let you do this, Red. The risk
is unacceptable.
Homer: I'm not Red, I'm Homer.
Autodrive: Gotta go. [it ejects from the cab and parachutes to
safety]
Homer: Aaah!
Bart: Dad, do something.
Homer: [buckles up]
Bart: Something better.
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Homer brakes and steers sharply. The truck starts to jackknife, and
% then launches into the air, doing a graceful barrel roll over the
% blockade of trucks before landing on its wheels.
%
% The other truckers, needless to say, are impressed.
Trucker 3: Now that man is a genuine steel-belted, gear-jamming
rig jockey.
Trucker 5: Mmm, that's a fact
Trucker 6: Boy, howdy.
Trucker 4: You can say that again.
Trucker 7: Yup.
Trucker 4: You know boys, I've been thinking. Maybe it's time
we ditched the high tech gizmos and went back to
driving like our daddies did.
Trucker 5: Drunk?
Trucker 4: No, no, no. Using our hands and our wits. Yeah,
sure, it's hard work, and it's lonely as hell, but
it has meaning and dignity. Huh? What do you say?
[long pause from the other men]
Trucker 3: Nah. Let's just find some other scam.
Trucker 5: Hey, how about bootlegging Beanie Babies?
Trucker 7: Sounds good to me.
Trucker 6: I like that.
-- American ingenuity, "Maximum Homerdrive"
% The boys roll into Atlanta, delivering Red Barclay's shipment of
% artichokes and migrant workers on schedule. Mission accomplished.
% The dockmaster asks Homer where Red is, and Homer says he last saw
% Red in a big plastic bag. "Yeah, that sounds like Red, all right,"
% says the dockmaster, as if this sort of thing frequently happens.
Homer: Well son, I guess it's time to go home.
Bart: Any thoughts on how we're going to get there?
Homer: No, but I'm sure the good Lord will provide.
[in the background, an engineer argues with a man in
a military uniform]
Engineer: Are you crazy? I'm not driving a trainload of
napalm to Springfield. [throws his cap on the
ground and walks off]
Homer: [heavenward] Thank you. [picks up the cap and
boards the train]
-- The Lord works in mysterious ways, "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Things in Springfield aren't going so smoothly. The doorbell is
% continuing to play. An irate, sleep-deprived, mob of townspeople
% has gathered at Marge's doorstep.
Marge: I'm really sorry everybody, but I've tried
everything. I'm afraid we're just going to have to
learn to live with it.
Wiggum: No, no, no. No dice. [draws his gun] All right,
chimey, this time, the bell tolls for thee. [aims
at the doorbell. From offscreen, a whip cracks
Wiggum's gun out of his hand] Huh?
[The camera pans to reveal Señor Ding-Dong, standing
on top of a van]
Bumblebee Guy: ¡Ay, ay, ay -- Señor Ding-Dong!
Lisa: I thought you were just a marketing gimmick.
Ding-Dong: There was a time when that was true, but now, I am
so much more. [cracks the whip at the doorbell,
silencing it. The crowd cheers]
Marge: Oh, my! Gracias, Señor.
Ding-Dong: Denada. If you ever need me, just ... ring. [gets
in his van, and tries to start the motor. It
doesn't cooperate]
Does anyone have any jumper cables? [tries again]
Oh, you stinking Chevy.
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
% Fade to black, as Sr. Ding-Dong rides off into the sunset. Or sits
% there at the curb. Whatever.
%
% [End of Act Three. Time: 20:30]
==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{ag} Andrew Gill
{bc} Ben Collins
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dj} Darrel Jones
{ec} Ellen Cohen
{ejr} Evan J. Ross
{er} Evan J. Ross
{gw} Gary Wilson
{hl} Haynes Lee
{jc} Jeff Cross
{je} Jordan Eisenberg
{jg2} Joe Green
{jj} John Jensen
{js} Jay Sherman
{jv} Javier Vera
{lmg} Lawrence M. Gruss
{mr} Matt Rose
{ms} Mike Smith
{nmd} Nathan M. DeHoff
{ol} Ondre Lombard
{rdb} Reznick de Bergerac
{sc} Sarah Culp
{tdm} Travis D. McLemore, Jr.
{tpe} Todd P. Emerson
==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
This episode capsule is Copyright 2000 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries
remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All
other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The
quote and scene summary itself is Copyright 2000 Benjamin Robinson. This
capsule has been brought to you by Señor Ding-Dong's Doorbell Fiesta.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie,
Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are
today.